Sure, it's weird (though given the similar man-on-beast musings from Senators Santorum and Cornyn, not entirely surprising), but not nearly so weird as the thought of a grown woman in the throes of passion calling out, "Oh, Scooter! Scooter!"
I submit as my thesis that these people are perverts.
It's not a normal functioning guy who, when challenged about the rigor of his opinions on a national radio/TV show, thinks to say, "hey, your wife asked me for a threesome, buddy."
I'm not judging, mind. Not necessarily. But I still think a lot of Republicans have some crazy shit going on in their heads that has nothing (obvious) to do with foregin policy.
Not even to cavil at the sexual grotesquerie of the whole bear thing, it's just so impractical. A procedure like that wouldn't produce frigid whores, it'd produce dead little girls. We're talking about bears here.
This reminds me in a way of covering Ancient Greek literature as a freshman. We talked about the absense of sex, hetero or homo. Lots of allusions, or maybe-allusions, but very little saying it outright. The analogy that was drawn was, "why don't contemporary authors discuss eating? Because everyone knows you eat. The ancients had a similar attitude about sex. Everyone knew what went on, it was common, and therefore, not interesting enough to describe."
I don't think anyone would put as much sex in a novel as Libby did unless the author found sex to be a really interesting subject. And this was published in 1996? We can't call it an adolescent thing. The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
To defend Libby a bit, I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him. I have to think is that he was trying to come up with something sexually bizarre for shock value, and fell over the line into ludicrous rather than shocking. I doubt it shows he's much of a pervert, but I'll take it as evidence that he's a bit of an idiot.
Something I saw yesterday, can't remember where, was complaining that no one makes fun of Democratic politicians for writing books with bizarre sex scenes. Are there any Democratic politicians who write books with bizarre sex scenes?
I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him.
Truly a weird thought, and not something we can know. But, yeah, I would be surprised if this was a sexual fantasy for him. Still, I think he has a odd fixation on sex.
Well, the bear is OBVIOUSLY Russia. and the little girls could be, umm, Eastern Europe.
The cage is the iron curtain, and, oh, crap. I go with Michael in 5 - he's a pervert, and a stupid one at that.
No wonder the guy was always appointed and not elected.
And I'm not saying writing perverted erotica is a crime, or even being a perv is a crime, but damn it all this guy is a perv and I'm not going to mince words here!
The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex.
I've read the Clouds. But not in that class. We did read the Lysastrata, where there was a maybe-allusion to lesbianism, and lots of strap-ons. No actual descriptions of sex though.
I guess more to the point we were mostly talking about Homer. And what was going on in Achilles' tent.
As long as we're on the subject of creepy Republican porn, I can't see Charles' hand, but judging from Laura's face, I think we may be seeing the first trans-Atlantic Shocker.
Clouds and Lysistrata are two of the tamer ones. Even in Clouds, there's a lot of talk about cock size.
Peace and Wasps are more fun. In Birds, two old men talk about looking for penis marks in the sand where the teenage boys perform their gymnastics. Nobody fucks bears or deer though.
Homer doesn't have much hard core action. I think you are right -- it was assumed, and not considered all that important.
It was recently revealed at a halloween party I was attending that a "roni" is, in fact, a nipple whose areola is approximately the size of a slice of pepperoni (that is to say, rather large).
Two of my guy friends seemed to agree on this. Anyone care to confirm?
Apuleius' "The Golden Ass" has quite a bit of classical bawdiness. Although technically the main animal protagonist is a human whose been magically metamorphosed into donkey form...
He's a perv, and when I use that term it means something.
I'm no prude. I can understand but not condone rape fantasies. And who hasn't been turned on by, I dunno, Cat Woman? Or the woman and horses thing is okay. (Not the 'Catherine the Great' thing, but the 'large muscular object between the legs' thing. But bears? Nah. When Yogi gets 'picnic baskets' we mean 'picnic baskets!'
There's not much context. If you listen to the sample I linked up there, you'll hear, amidst the most fartacious beat-boxing ever recorded, the lyrics repeating, "What it's like / Havin' a roni". This does suggest that the roni in question is Vanilla's.
I was 11 or so when the song came out, and a friend of mine penned the response "piss, piss baby," which was all about -- you guessed it -- urination. Lots of lines didn't have to be changed very much, such as: "will it ever stop, yo, I don't know/ turn out the lights, and I go."
Heh. My sixty-seven year old father is taking some time off from work with a bout of sciatica, and a few days ago asked "You read those political blogs, don't you? What are the good ones?" He's a sober, straitlaced type, so I steered him toward TPM and the Washington Monthly, and told him to follow links to anything that looked interesting.
He just called saying "Did Libby really write a pornographic novel, or is this crazy people making stuff up? Something about bears?"
Sure to jump up to number 1,234,022,421 on Amazon's best seller list.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 7:35 AM
Called Scooter by friends, and by lovers, Libbito.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 7:48 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 7:51 AM
Sure, it's weird (though given the similar man-on-beast musings from Senators Santorum and Cornyn, not entirely surprising), but not nearly so weird as the thought of a grown woman in the throes of passion calling out, "Oh, Scooter! Scooter!"
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 7:51 AM
I submit as my thesis that these people are perverts.
It's not a normal functioning guy who, when challenged about the rigor of his opinions on a national radio/TV show, thinks to say, "hey, your wife asked me for a threesome, buddy."
I'm not judging, mind. Not necessarily. But I still think a lot of Republicans have some crazy shit going on in their heads that has nothing (obvious) to do with foregin policy.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:01 AM
A bear????
What the fuckity fuck. A bear trained to want to screw children????
??????
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:03 AM
Well, you know those Japs are all perverted monsters, Cala.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:04 AM
hey, your wife asked me for a threesome, buddy
When did that happen? I must have missed it.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:05 AM
Santorum on Imus.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:08 AM
And don't that sound perverted.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:08 AM
Santorum on Imus.
Video and transcript.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:12 AM
That settles it, Santorum fucks goats. Film at 11.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:15 AM
Not even to cavil at the sexual grotesquerie of the whole bear thing, it's just so impractical. A procedure like that wouldn't produce frigid whores, it'd produce dead little girls. We're talking about bears here.
Didn't he have an editor?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:18 AM
It's the whole "right wingers are small-weenied perverts" thing again.
And it's all true :)
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:19 AM
Wow. More gems in the New Yorker article.
This reminds me in a way of covering Ancient Greek literature as a freshman. We talked about the absense of sex, hetero or homo. Lots of allusions, or maybe-allusions, but very little saying it outright. The analogy that was drawn was, "why don't contemporary authors discuss eating? Because everyone knows you eat. The ancients had a similar attitude about sex. Everyone knew what went on, it was common, and therefore, not interesting enough to describe."
I don't think anyone would put as much sex in a novel as Libby did unless the author found sex to be a really interesting subject. And this was published in 1996? We can't call it an adolescent thing. The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:19 AM
A procedure like that wouldn't produce frigid whores, it'd produce dead little girls. We're talking about bears here.
Yeah. I highly doubt poking a bear with a stick would make it particularly horny.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:22 AM
Instapundit (Oct 29):
SILVER LININGS: Scooter Libby's novel is rocketing up on Amazon.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:22 AM
re: 11. Since when has Imus been all about abusing Republicans on-air?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:25 AM
16: Depends on where you poke it, I guess.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:27 AM
18: I suspect he may begin to do it more frequently.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:28 AM
Note that His Magnificence didn't believe us.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:28 AM
the first search result on amazon for "lewis libby" is Children of the Corn.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:30 AM
hardcovers start at $2,100. That's expesnive smut.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:32 AM
The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
To defend Libby a bit, I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him. I have to think is that he was trying to come up with something sexually bizarre for shock value, and fell over the line into ludicrous rather than shocking. I doubt it shows he's much of a pervert, but I'll take it as evidence that he's a bit of an idiot.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:51 AM
Or racist (which was the point of 7, above, if anybody was wondering).
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 8:55 AM
the point of 7
Two words: tentacle porn.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:03 AM
True. I sort of spaced on the Japanese element.
Something I saw yesterday, can't remember where, was complaining that no one makes fun of Democratic politicians for writing books with bizarre sex scenes. Are there any Democratic politicians who write books with bizarre sex scenes?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:04 AM
I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him.
Truly a weird thought, and not something we can know. But, yeah, I would be surprised if this was a sexual fantasy for him. Still, I think he has a odd fixation on sex.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:12 AM
Barbara Boxer's seems pretty vanilla.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:14 AM
Well, the bear is OBVIOUSLY Russia. and the little girls could be, umm, Eastern Europe.
The cage is the iron curtain, and, oh, crap. I go with Michael in 5 - he's a pervert, and a stupid one at that.
No wonder the guy was always appointed and not elected.
And I'm not saying writing perverted erotica is a crime, or even being a perv is a crime, but damn it all this guy is a perv and I'm not going to mince words here!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:14 AM
Searching for LB's question, I found this.
The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:15 AM
AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"
NH: It has historically been the case.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:16 AM
15: (I know this was a ways back) Michael, did you ever read any Aristophanes? It's all sex and scatology. Plus the strap-on leather phalluses.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:17 AM
Then again, some people think Aristophanes was a conservative, so there you have it.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:18 AM
—That's some act. What do you call it?
—"Aristophanes".
(uh-WRIST-oh-fains)
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:20 AM
I've read the Clouds. But not in that class. We did read the Lysastrata, where there was a maybe-allusion to lesbianism, and lots of strap-ons. No actual descriptions of sex though.
I guess more to the point we were mostly talking about Homer. And what was going on in Achilles' tent.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:21 AM
My comments: now with xtra needless xplanation
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:21 AM
Can I get them with a mint flavor?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:26 AM
As long as we're on the subject of creepy Republican porn, I can't see Charles' hand, but judging from Laura's face, I think we may be seeing the first trans-Atlantic Shocker.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:26 AM
Clouds and Lysistrata are two of the tamer ones. Even in Clouds, there's a lot of talk about cock size.
Peace and Wasps are more fun. In Birds, two old men talk about looking for penis marks in the sand where the teenage boys perform their gymnastics. Nobody fucks bears or deer though.
Homer doesn't have much hard core action. I think you are right -- it was assumed, and not considered all that important.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:27 AM
To the x-treme
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:28 AM
41 to 37
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:29 AM
Did you just allude to Vanilla Ice?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:36 AM
Re: 29
Well, the erotic mention of kneecaps is a little off, but clearly not Scooter-class.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:38 AM
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:42 AM
Cookin' MCs like a side of bacon.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:45 AM
Will it ever stop?
God, I hope so.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:47 AM
47: It appears not.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:50 AM
But bears? Maybe he's not a perv but there wasn't anything short of bears that could turn a woman frigid?
How the hell can these people get published and then set policy for universities?
BEARS?
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:00 AM
The real gem from Mr. Ice's debut album was "Havin' A Roni".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:04 AM
I'm guessing "roni" = "sick onion".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:06 AM
It was recently revealed at a halloween party I was attending that a "roni" is, in fact, a nipple whose areola is approximately the size of a slice of pepperoni (that is to say, rather large).
Two of my guy friends seemed to agree on this. Anyone care to confirm?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:10 AM
How pitifully naive of them. In fact, when one remembers that Rice-a-Roni is the San Francisco treat, the true meaning becomes obvious.
(I have no idea, of course.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:14 AM
Apuleius' "The Golden Ass" has quite a bit of classical bawdiness. Although technically the main animal protagonist is a human whose been magically metamorphosed into donkey form...
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:14 AM
He's a perv, and when I use that term it means something.
I'm no prude. I can understand but not condone rape fantasies. And who hasn't been turned on by, I dunno, Cat Woman? Or the woman and horses thing is okay. (Not the 'Catherine the Great' thing, but the 'large muscular object between the legs' thing. But bears? Nah. When Yogi gets 'picnic baskets' we mean 'picnic baskets!'
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:15 AM
Well, I didn't actually listen to the V-ice song, so I don't know if it fits in to that context.
But I was rather amused.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:16 AM
Never heard it before. Does pepperoni come in a standard size?
Now we all know what is white and climbs up your leg.
Uncle Ben's perverted rice.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:19 AM
I don't know if it fits in to that context
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:22 AM
There's not much context. If you listen to the sample I linked up there, you'll hear, amidst the most fartacious beat-boxing ever recorded, the lyrics repeating, "What it's like / Havin' a roni". This does suggest that the roni in question is Vanilla's.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:25 AM
Perhaps his beatboxing is the description of what it's like, havin' a roni.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:27 AM
Traditionally when the pizza guy says "Here's the pizza, and here's the pepperoni" he's not referring to any, um, female parts.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:30 AM
Ah, yes, the heartwarming Pornmas traditions.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:32 AM
Why would the pizza guy hand you the pepperoni separately? Presumably, you want it on the pizza, no? Mmm. Pepperoni Pizza.
Also, worst-rapped line from "Ice Ice Baby":
"Feasible rhymes you can vision and feel." Cracks me up.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:33 AM
Who wants to explain to silvana what I think is going on?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:36 AM
(It's really just a quote from The Interpretation of Dreams.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:36 AM
I was 11 or so when the song came out, and a friend of mine penned the response "piss, piss baby," which was all about -- you guessed it -- urination. Lots of lines didn't have to be changed very much, such as: "will it ever stop, yo, I don't know/ turn out the lights, and I go."
It was very much the rage for a week or so.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:37 AM
64: I find her confusion touching, and do not think it should be remedied.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:38 AM
Oh, for fuck's sake!
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:41 AM
I think she got it.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:42 AM
No, that was exasperation.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:43 AM
I didn't get it either.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:44 AM
Do you mean you didn't get it before, or you still don't get it?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:45 AM
Before. It took me a shamefully long time though.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:46 AM
Havin' a Roni
Willie Wonka and the Sausage Factory.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:47 AM
But it was one of your finest hours!
(You meant 65, right?)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:48 AM
The temporal scope of my "before" was restricted to the lifetime of this thread.
Are you suggesting my finest hour (the finest, I'd have to say) is somehow related to pizza toppings?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:52 AM
65 was an allusion to it.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:54 AM
Which, perhaps, brings us back to xtra xplanation.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:55 AM
I must really be dense.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:07 AM
Presumably, you want it on the pizza, no?
Whatever floats your boat. As we used to say in the 60's, "do your own thing, baby."
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:08 AM
I believe that the pizza man offers the pizza and then displays his chopper.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:10 AM
Somewhat off-topic (or maybe not), side headline on cnn.com right now:
Watch: Gang-rape victim becomes rights champion
Um, no thanks.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:13 AM
That's it?
Sometimes I think my mind is too dirty for my own good.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:16 AM
Roni, I guess.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:17 AM
The "That's it?" counter-meta-troll! Silvana wins.
(Also an effective move when presented with the pepperoni.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:23 AM
Re 84. I like definition 10: "a booger that drives a big body benz and wears armo leather jackets."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 11:49 AM
I believe that the pizza man offers the pizza and then displays his chopper.
The pizza man wants to give you a tip. And then the rest.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 12:14 PM
Heh. My sixty-seven year old father is taking some time off from work with a bout of sciatica, and a few days ago asked "You read those political blogs, don't you? What are the good ones?" He's a sober, straitlaced type, so I steered him toward TPM and the Washington Monthly, and told him to follow links to anything that looked interesting.
He just called saying "Did Libby really write a pornographic novel, or is this crazy people making stuff up? Something about bears?"
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:06 PM
Mom just sent me an e-mail saying that a friend of hers copy edited Libby's novel. "Not a very good novel," says the friend.
Posted by Ttam Reniew | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 5:10 PM