7. Your vagina is invadable. Unlike Pakistan, it doesn't already have nukes. And there's some reason to believe that your vagina might welcome an invasion.
This is really the weak point of the argument, because it applies equally to your rectum.
#5: I don't know if that's true. There must be survey evidence about women's relative preferences for anal vs. vaginal sex, but I don't know where one would find it.
I had conceived of letting the different instances of "your" bind to different referents. The owner of the vagina and the owner of the rectum might not coincide.
whether al-qaida and your vagina have had contact is largely irrelevant, because there's very little to keep them from having contact in the future, especially in that they have a mutual enemy in my massive cock.
Look, I can't imagine that there are any good arguments against my invading your vagina, but there needs to be a plan, and a viable exit strategy. How long will I stay? What will I do when I'm there? Will it offend the locals? How can I be sure the mission's been accomplished? To just go in and leave a mess would be, if I may say so, unamerican.
I hate to bring this up again, but ogged needs to shepherd his resources. There are many vaginas in the world; how do we distinguish the need to invade your vagina from the need to invade other, similar, vaginas? Or is ogged going to spend all his time invading vaginas? Relatedly, does ogged have the institutional knowledge to re-shape his mission toward vagina invasion as a primarily purpose?
#32: I think the vagina here is not a murderous tyrant, but a subjugated people. But I am increasingly creeped out by a fair reading of what "invading" a vagina could mean. (Though, I think, FL tried to address that by making the case to "you" about "your" vagina.)
if you invade my rectum, you will face a cunning insurgency, and it will not let up until you have left. When you do leave, it will be a messier place than it was before you came.
This is all some neo-cockservative fantasy. Believe me, once you're in there, nobody will be throwing flowers and candy. And then our cock will be stretched to the breaking point.
Check your map, text. If there are bits of metal in the road, you might want to consider the possibility that you've invaded the wrong country. On the wrong planet.
#47: But what if ogged hits something he didn't intend to hit during the shock-n-awe phase? Might he not inflame an otherwise welcoming portion of the rectum, thus making the invasion more difficult?
I am jubilant at the return of shallowness and frivolity, but would like to register an objection to Ogged's tricksy way of bringing it back. There are still people hoping for an escalation to Syria or Iran, you know.
I believe appropriate international agencies have determined that Ogged's cock is not a weapon of mass destruction, and any efffects of its thrust into the fertile cresent will be minimal, even negligible.
We should invade Syria to rename their capital city "Meniscus".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:48 AM
yuo know what completely change everyone's opinion of the Bush administration? If they got the French to invade Syria.
Posted by mike d | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:48 AM
It's only with effort that I avoided a post titled "The case for Ogged's invasion of your vagina."
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:49 AM
That was effort better spent elsewhere.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:53 AM
7. Your vagina is invadable. Unlike Pakistan, it doesn't already have nukes. And there's some reason to believe that your vagina might welcome an invasion.
This is really the weak point of the argument, because it applies equally to your rectum.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:54 AM
Psych psych psych! Super psych!
Posted by neil | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 9:57 AM
Before the invasion of my vagina begins, I would like to invite international inspectors to verify that I do not have a vagina.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:00 AM
#5: I don't know if that's true. There must be survey evidence about women's relative preferences for anal vs. vaginal sex, but I don't know where one would find it.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:01 AM
Re: 8
Where's apostropher when we need him?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:02 AM
8, at the Mineshaft, of course.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:03 AM
1. It would be bad if Ogged's phallus went off in an American city. The Tivo hasn't been reset in a long time; things could get ugly.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:07 AM
I had conceived of letting the different instances of "your" bind to different referents. The owner of the vagina and the owner of the rectum might not coincide.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:07 AM
whether al-qaida and your vagina have had contact is largely irrelevant, because there's very little to keep them from having contact in the future, especially in that they have a mutual enemy in my massive cock.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:08 AM
How long until we change the name of this realm from the outdated "United States of America" to the catchier and more aptly titled "Our Massive Cock?"
It fits better with our current role in the world.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:10 AM
This is really the weak point of the argument, because it applies equally to your rectum.
Standpipe, are you implying that ogged has weapons of ass destruction?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:12 AM
So, are we dismissing out of hand the possibility that ogged might invade your vagina for the purpose of freeing it from patriarchal norms, etc.?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:13 AM
it's very difficult to disabuse a vagina of patriarchal norms once they've been, uh, inserted.
so that's not as realistic a goal, and it might require that we stay there longer than we'd like.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:17 AM
ogged has promised us a quick, in-and-out procedure, and that's all we're willing to sign up for.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:18 AM
Look, I can't imagine that there are any good arguments against my invading your vagina, but there needs to be a plan, and a viable exit strategy. How long will I stay? What will I do when I'm there? Will it offend the locals? How can I be sure the mission's been accomplished? To just go in and leave a mess would be, if I may say so, unamerican.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:18 AM
are you implying that ogged has weapons of ass destruction?
No, those belong to Labs.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:18 AM
first, you ought to get permission from all of the neighbors.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:19 AM
did I pwn! ogged?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:20 AM
Text, I'm unwilling to give the neighbors veto power over my cock.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:21 AM
then they're not going to support you when you need their help invading a more treacherous vagina.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:22 AM
Like it matters.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:22 AM
or when the vagina become unruly and requires more cocks in order to subdue it.
One cock can't go it alone, ogged.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:23 AM
"What John Kerry wants to do is to give the neighbors veto power over our cock."
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:23 AM
We don't want the smoking gun to come in the form of a sperm cloud.
Posted by neil | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:23 AM
I hate to bring this up again, but ogged needs to shepherd his resources. There are many vaginas in the world; how do we distinguish the need to invade your vagina from the need to invade other, similar, vaginas? Or is ogged going to spend all his time invading vaginas? Relatedly, does ogged have the institutional knowledge to re-shape his mission toward vagina invasion as a primarily purpose?
We need to think harder about this.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:24 AM
I think it's highly unlikely that it would take anywhere near 45 minutes for Ogged to go off, given the opportunity.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:24 AM
26 is a bit disturbing.
And I should be honest about the possibility of setting up a permanent base, post-invasion.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:25 AM
Is anyone else highly dispreferring the vagina/murderous tyrant analogy here? Is my sense of humor suddenly borked?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:26 AM
"What John Kerry wants to do is to give the neighbors veto power over our cock."
I'm pretty sure this was the actual administration line, wasn't it?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:26 AM
we've got an analogy, dammit, and I'm going to take it to its logical conclusions.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:27 AM
32 - That's why I tried to locate my comment more on the territory of "George W. Bush/arbitrary assertion of cock."
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:27 AM
32: No, this is treacherous joke territory. Back to the rectum!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:27 AM
New topic: The case for invading text's rectum!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:28 AM
Um, any takers?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:29 AM
if you prefer talking about rectums, we can do that Standpipe, but it will be more difficult, because I haven't even met him.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:30 AM
#32: I think the vagina here is not a murderous tyrant, but a subjugated people. But I am increasingly creeped out by a fair reading of what "invading" a vagina could mean. (Though, I think, FL tried to address that by making the case to "you" about "your" vagina.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:30 AM
I'll tell you one mistake we won't make with this one: after Ogged invades your vagina, you'll definitely want some bathification. Democracy is messy.
You go to war with the cock you have, not the cock you wish you had.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:33 AM
if you invade my rectum, you will face a cunning insurgency, and it will not let up until you have left. When you do leave, it will be a messier place than it was before you came.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:33 AM
ok I've got to go now.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:33 AM
our cock was not given the protection that was promised, and has to pick up bits of metal in the road to shield itself from danger.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:36 AM
This is all some neo-cockservative fantasy. Believe me, once you're in there, nobody will be throwing flowers and candy. And then our cock will be stretched to the breaking point.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:39 AM
Check your map, text. If there are bits of metal in the road, you might want to consider the possibility that you've invaded the wrong country. On the wrong planet.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:40 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:43 AM
#47: But what if ogged hits something he didn't intend to hit during the shock-n-awe phase? Might he not inflame an otherwise welcoming portion of the rectum, thus making the invasion more difficult?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:49 AM
Tim, are you worried about separatist Turds?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:50 AM
Yeah, the last thing we need is ogged blowing up another asspirin factory.
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:50 AM
The obvious link.
Posted by foo | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:50 AM
FL, even if ogged wings over the Turds, how can we be sure the Shits will support democracy?
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:53 AM
You know ogged is a Punni muslim, right?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 10:57 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 11:06 AM
I am jubilant at the return of shallowness and frivolity, but would like to register an objection to Ogged's tricksy way of bringing it back. There are still people hoping for an escalation to Syria or Iran, you know.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 11:11 AM
Emerson is pwned.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 11:17 AM
In the interest of comity, shallowness, frivolity, and lewdness, I will refrain from making any response to Joe O's vain and absurd claim.
The sentence above is definitive, and will remain my sole non-response to Joe O's ludicrous and pathetic attempt at a personal attack.
At this point Joe O has not been added to the list of those whom I want to die horrible deaths, nor is such a step imminent.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 11:48 AM
At this point Joe O has not been added to the list of those whom I want to die horrible deaths, nor is such a step imminent.
Note that space is left open for the adding having been carried out while that sentence was written.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11-16-05 11:54 AM
I believe appropriate international agencies have determined that Ogged's cock is not a weapon of mass destruction, and any efffects of its thrust into the fertile cresent will be minimal, even negligible.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 12:38 AM
So the proposed invasion is unlikely to lead to upheaval in the region?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 8:15 AM
Odd, the CwOs are pretty scarce on this thread.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 8:25 AM
did it really take 59 comments for someone to use the term "fertile crescent" in this thread? We are teh sux.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 4:10 PM
in my mind's eye (or tongue, I suppose), I pronounce the term "C-Wo" and that is how it should be spelled.
And I miss them. Sorry about this thread.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 4:13 PM
That will teach us to ignore comedy gold like the word "meniscus".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11-17-05 4:45 PM
888
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 4:15 AM