Re: No, Labs Doesn't Have All The Fun

1

the resident must have thought himself the victim of an elaborate hoax.

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I take heart knowing that he'll never tell anyone this story, ever.

Doctors and nurses are always the best people to talk to at parties. Their stories are unbeatable (did you know there's a thing called a Texas catheter? Or that it's unpleasant when it pops off?). Take some actual solace, ogged: I'm not sure your shy bladder would rate retelling by doctor standards.

I'm amazed that you really really had to go, yet held it through an electric shock. That's somethin'.

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3

I don't know if it was a good or bad thing that the only person around at that moment was frat-boy resident doctor

Which was it, good or bad? Would you have preferred a nurse?

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4

I had much the same experience, but it was a female lab tech and I was high as a kite on ketamine.

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5

Ideally, it would have been a nurse: a woman, Filipina, around 55 or 60, who would have made fun of me, and made me feel unselfconscious.

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6

Appreciate the Filipina detail.

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7

I think these two threads should be a referendum on the popularity of Unfogged posters. Whoever's genitals get the most comments wins.

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8

Has the biggest balls, Tia means.

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9

...and whoever has the most balls, loses?

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10

And I learned, on behalf of us all, that when you feel like you have to go so badly that you're sure it'll kill you, well, you can keep holding it for hours.

This was first discovered by Tycho Brahe, though his astronomical discoveries have unexplainably gained more attention. But like many Faustian scientists, he paid an enormous price, dying of a burst bladder during a drinking contest -- the first one to urinate was to be the loser, and it wasn't Tycho.

I'd link to the story, but the internet has been flooded with bogus refutations of this story, probably planted by the LaRouchies, for whom Tycho is a god second in rank only to Lyndon himself.

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11

Somehow this makes me think the other thread should've been 'Colleagues: please suck, and also use tongue'.

ash

['I wonder why?']

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12

And I learned, on behalf of us all, that when you feel like you have to go so badly that you're sure it'll kill you, well, you can keep holding it for hours.

This was first discovered by Tycho Brahe, though his astronomical discoveries have unexplainably gained more attention. But like many Faustian scientists, he paid an enormous price, dying of a burst bladder during a drinking contest -- the first one to urinate was to be the loser, and it wasn't Tycho.

I'd link to the story, but the internet has been flooded with bogus refutations of this story, probably planted by the LaRouchies, for whom Tycho is a god second in rank only to Lyndon himself.

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13

during a drinking contest

The version I've always heard was that he as at a royal banquet and it was considered rude to leave before it had concluded.

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14

I like my version better. The current, LaRouchie story is that he was poisoned. Tycho was a major-league asshole in his personal life, and the poisoning story would be quite plausible except for the LaRouchie involvement.

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15

The only health-related Tycho Brahe rumor I've heard was that he had a silver nose-cap to cover up his tertiary syphillus.

If that one's true, the immediate cause of his death could be all kinds of things.

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16

health-related Tycho Brahe rumor

Ok, what the fuck, people? I'm now expected to keep up with health-related rumors of centuries-dead foreign astronomers? Really?

(Although Emerson's comment is a gem, both times.)

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17

Well, Ogged, if you'd read Family Circus like a real American...

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18

I heard that he lost his nose in a duel.

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19

Tycho Brahe's nose

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20

The current, LaRouchie story is that he was poisoned. Tycho was a major-league asshole in his personal life, and the poisoning story would be quite plausible except for the LaRouchie involvement.

It could've been the malevolent force of Rev. Moon, from his previous incarnation as Isaac Newton.

ash

['Isn't LaRouche actually D.B. Cooper?']

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from 19: "tradition has it that the two were fighting over some fine point of mathematics"!

I happily defer to the experts; I did label it a rumor, after all.

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At least the internet urinal has the benefit of privacy.

By the way, that's what every one of you is getting from me for Xmas (or the December gift-giving holiday of your hell-bound choice).

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23

Ogged's genitals 22, Labs' genitals 10. Woot!

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24

Something tells me that Alameida would pwn you both if she posted about her genitals.

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25

I wonder if Tycho Brahe's nose was an inspiration for the character Evan Godolphin in V.?

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26

A great centuries-dead non-foreign astronomer for Ogged to inform himself about would be Ulugh Beg, the Turco-Persian astronomer and mathematician whose corrections of Ptolemy led directly to Tycho's work. He did not have any dramatic body parts, though his death was dramatic enough -- he was beheaded by his son.

He was a grandson of Tamerlane, a very distant descendant of Genghis Khan, and the grandfather of Babar, who founded the Moghul dynasty. He was the ruler of Samarkand for a short time and was succeeded by the son who cut off his head.

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27

Remember John, the fact that you're a senior citizen won't keep me from beating you up.

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28

I sense a subtle strain of resentment or anger in what you've said. Would you care to talk about it?

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29

Wait, Babar founded the Moghul dynasty? I thought Babar was an African elephant.

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30

I forgat to mention that, like the Troll of Sorrow and Vox Day, I can bench press 300 lbs. and am the master of the martial arts. And also, I'm heavily armed at all times.

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31

I'm going to bite off your nose, John.

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32

When I was teaching ESL, my Hmong students didn't like the Babar book because they knew about elephants and elephants don't talk. They found it urgent to explain this to us before we embarassed ourselves again.

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33

I'm hearing you to say that your reactive orality is fixated on one of my body parts.

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34

Yes, but you're not going to like it.

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35

At this point I'm not sure I'm the right therapist any more.

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36

Hey speaking of detached noses: any of you in the NYC area might be interested in seeing The Theater for the New City's production of Gogol's "The Nose" which will be playing next Thursday - Sunday as part of the Voice 4 Vision Puppet Festival.

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37

Doctors and nurses are always the best people to talk to at parties.

The herpes-on-the-colostomy-bag-entrance always got me.

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38

I take heart knowing that he'll never tell anyone this story, ever.

Well, Mr. Ogged, we have a big surprise here for you in the studio today...

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