ditto for me, LB. I didn't throw mine away until some point in college. I'm due for a horrendous overbite in about five years.
I sometimes have dreams where I cannot speak clearly because I am wearing my retainer, and can't take it out. Often the subject of these dreams is NSFW, but because I cannot take the retainer out, I spoil the party, and the dream becomes SFW. My retainer continues to take revenge from its grave.
I had a dream in which a serial killer was killing unfogged commenters, and I was worried that I would be next.
He dismembered his victims' bodies (which were all clad in black ribbed sweaters); first the head, then one arm diagonally up from the pit towards the clavicle, then the other.
4: It's a line of spikes on the back of your bottom teeth that pokes your tongue, should you be, like me, gifted with an especially long one, so you can't rest it against your top front teeth. Oh, and I forgot about the palette expander. It fit into the top of my mouth and twice a day a parent would have to turn a key to crank your mouth wider. But often we'd forget, and then give it two or three turns at once.
I had a crown put in not too long ago which pressed against one of my lower teeth. I was supposed to wear something in my mouth when I slept to keep me from grinding my teeth. I couldn't stand it, and eventually the crown broke off.
I still have a gap in my teeth, which is why I smile with my lips pressed together. Altogether I've probably spent $1000 out of pocket, plus the money from insurance, getting that tooth fixed, and I look like a homeless anyway.
Berube's story is sweet and all, but at what point does a kid get to say to his or her parents: "Fuck no, I'm tired of all this stupid-ass orthodontia, and if by now my teeth aren't straight, y'all better just get used to calling it charming!"?
(In my case, it was six years in, and yes, I've been watching old episodes of The Wire/)
In Bérubé's case, he states outright (in pt. 1 of the story) that they weren't trying to fix up their son's appearance, but make sure that he wouldn't have oral health problems.
I gave up when, a couple of months after the orthodontists told me I could stop wearing my retainer, they changed their minds. The crookedness probably isn't good for me, though.
Non-straight teeth, particularly when you've got a crowded mouth, are going to cause oral hygiene problems, that's a given. Some kids get fatalistic, all I'm saying.
I never have any clear idea what is meant by British teeth.
I have come to the conclusion that it means "teeth that haven't had thousands of pounds of money spent on them to make them cosmetically prettier". It certainly has nothing to do with the actual health of the teeth concerned.
[I will happily concede that many Americans I meet do have very tidy looking teeth]
My own teeth for example are perfectly healthy. I've had, I think, 4 fillings in the past 20 years and apart from that have never needed any dental work and only one of those fillings --- done because a molar cracked where an earlier filling had been --- has been done in the past 10 years.
On the other hand, my teeth are not perfectly white and they aren't completely straight (mostly the lower ones you can't see).
I suppose that makes my teeth 'British' teeth. :-)
I would happily keep my "healthy and unmolested" teeth and prefer that over years of orthodontic work in my teens and possible problems in later life caused by the work that would need to be done to make my teeth perfectly white.
My sister wore braces and it looks like such a miserable experience...
Never had braces, and I think I logged a total of about four hours with the "appliance" that was prescribed for my teeth. Things seem to have worked out okay. Sealants are where it's at.
As far as I know, I'm still supposed to be wearing mine. The orthodontist never said I could stop.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 12:47 PM
I'm not sure that post is really "fun".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:25 PM
I have two words for you whiners: tongue crib.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:31 PM
I don't even know what that means. Are we still in orthodonture, or are we getting into NSFW territory?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:45 PM
ditto for me, LB. I didn't throw mine away until some point in college. I'm due for a horrendous overbite in about five years.
I sometimes have dreams where I cannot speak clearly because I am wearing my retainer, and can't take it out. Often the subject of these dreams is NSFW, but because I cannot take the retainer out, I spoil the party, and the dream becomes SFW. My retainer continues to take revenge from its grave.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:52 PM
5 -- dreams are practically never SFW.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:55 PM
I had a dream in which a serial killer was killing unfogged commenters, and I was worried that I would be next.
He dismembered his victims' bodies (which were all clad in black ribbed sweaters); first the head, then one arm diagonally up from the pit towards the clavicle, then the other.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 1:59 PM
Who was killed first?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:02 PM
I can't remember; it was all commenters (possibly fictional) who had fallen by the wayside and weren't spoken of anymore.
The killer was kind of an open secret that no one really talked about, even though he was on everyone's mind.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:04 PM
Was it an allegory about Ms. PhD's banning? Who knows!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:05 PM
You know, this would be a great lead up to one of those things that ends in an odd phrase that seems like it should be a pun but isn't actually one.
Hey, whatever did happen to Arthur? And Mobcap? They haven't commented for a while.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:06 PM
we do not speak of the dead.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:08 PM
Spooky...
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:08 PM
I've actually received intelligence to the effect that someone else has been banned, and I'm not talking about abc123, either.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:11 PM
Alameida, isn't it?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:14 PM
?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:14 PM
I suppose we just have to wait for the next indiscretion error to find out what he's talking about.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:16 PM
I had forgotten who, but I recovered said intelligence and now know again.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:20 PM
Ben, you are threatening me and can expect to hear from my lawyer.
Have a nice day.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 2:22 PM
As far as I know, I'm still supposed to be wearing mine. The orthodontist never said I could stop.
Me, too (or three, in light of text's agreement).
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 3:01 PM
who do they think they're kidding, these orthodontists?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 3:06 PM
4: It's a line of spikes on the back of your bottom teeth that pokes your tongue, should you be, like me, gifted with an especially long one, so you can't rest it against your top front teeth. Oh, and I forgot about the palette expander. It fit into the top of my mouth and twice a day a parent would have to turn a key to crank your mouth wider. But often we'd forget, and then give it two or three turns at once.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 3:14 PM
I had a crown put in not too long ago which pressed against one of my lower teeth. I was supposed to wear something in my mouth when I slept to keep me from grinding my teeth. I couldn't stand it, and eventually the crown broke off.
I still have a gap in my teeth, which is why I smile with my lips pressed together. Altogether I've probably spent $1000 out of pocket, plus the money from insurance, getting that tooth fixed, and I look like a homeless anyway.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 3:21 PM
I had a dream in which a serial killer was killing unfogged commenters, and I was worried that I would be next.
Nice cover, but it's obvious that You were the serial killer.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 4:55 PM
C'est moi.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 4:55 PM
Berube's story is sweet and all, but at what point does a kid get to say to his or her parents: "Fuck no, I'm tired of all this stupid-ass orthodontia, and if by now my teeth aren't straight, y'all better just get used to calling it charming!"?
(In my case, it was six years in, and yes, I've been watching old episodes of The Wire/)
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:14 PM
In Bérubé's case, he states outright (in pt. 1 of the story) that they weren't trying to fix up their son's appearance, but make sure that he wouldn't have oral health problems.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:16 PM
I gave up when, a couple of months after the orthodontists told me I could stop wearing my retainer, they changed their minds. The crookedness probably isn't good for me, though.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:19 PM
Non-straight teeth, particularly when you've got a crowded mouth, are going to cause oral hygiene problems, that's a given. Some kids get fatalistic, all I'm saying.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:23 PM
Ah, memories of the dentist. (I think I've linked that before.)
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:33 PM
I have pretty, perfectly straight, soft teeth. Or used to.
By the time they were sixty my parents had three teeth between them, and I'm only doing better than that because I spent thousands of dollars on them.
I have 19 teeth, of which about 13 are at least partly real.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 5:33 PM
Ogged has perfectly straight, white teeth. Like George Clooney in Intolerable Cruelty.
Which reminds me. People, Ogged never put up his personal ad.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 8:14 PM
I have pretty, perfectly straight, soft teeth. Or used to.
Aren't teeth ideally hard? The better to bite and chew with? I should think soft teeth would be less useful.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 8:32 PM
Depends what you're biting.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 8:44 PM
Soft, rotting teeth. But straight.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-16-05 10:40 PM
From my British perspective all this American dentistry talk is just wierd.
It's like Chinese ladies during the dying years of the Manchu era chatting about their memories of foot-binding.
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 9:12 AM
Well, I have British teeth, but -- lest there be any mistake -- I'm not bragging about it.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 9:27 AM
I never have any clear idea what is meant by British teeth.
I have come to the conclusion that it means "teeth that haven't had thousands of pounds of money spent on them to make them cosmetically prettier". It certainly has nothing to do with the actual health of the teeth concerned.
[I will happily concede that many Americans I meet do have very tidy looking teeth]
My own teeth for example are perfectly healthy. I've had, I think, 4 fillings in the past 20 years and apart from that have never needed any dental work and only one of those fillings --- done because a molar cracked where an earlier filling had been --- has been done in the past 10 years.
On the other hand, my teeth are not perfectly white and they aren't completely straight (mostly the lower ones you can't see).
I suppose that makes my teeth 'British' teeth. :-)
I would happily keep my "healthy and unmolested" teeth and prefer that over years of orthodontic work in my teens and possible problems in later life caused by the work that would need to be done to make my teeth perfectly white.
My sister wore braces and it looks like such a miserable experience...
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 9:48 AM
British teeth includes rotten, missing teeth, but also discolored and crooked teeth. I have all of those except crooked teeth.
Brits are all pooftahs too.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 10:01 AM
yeah, effete shirt-lifters, the lot of us...!
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 10:08 AM
It's quite possible that I had one or more crooked teeth at some point, but if I did, they are in Heaven now.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12-17-05 10:27 AM
Never had braces, and I think I logged a total of about four hours with the "appliance" that was prescribed for my teeth. Things seem to have worked out okay. Sealants are where it's at.
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 12-18-05 8:32 AM