He also had an air of practiced calm, and a steady smile, which said, clearly, post-traumatic stress disorder. Whether this is owing to his time in the military, or to other, unknown factors, we could not say.
Nah, he loved the military. The PTSD is a result of the marriage.
Ok, because I thought C-tec Astronomy, and then realized it was the wrong anagram.
Also, quietness explained by a) tiredness and b) in general better at meeting new people in smaller rather than larger groups. Though the degree to which last night counts as "meeting new people" is debatable.
Matt, I was thinking about that yesterday: the problem of academic geography. At least I'm within a days' drive of a couple of cities. I should be less whiny.
Not to be self centered or anything, but I'm curious why Ogged is apologizing to Weiner for my alleged charm (I was kind of shy + sleepy). It's not Ogged's fault.
I lived in the same city in high school as Jackmormon. Only we were from opposite sides of the tracks, and now must rumble.
Was that too hostile? This seems like a good description of Lubbock so far, a suburb without a city. When I think 'quaint college town' I think of something like maybe Claremont or Wellesley, based on my limited experience, a sleepy place with a cute little shopping area near campus. Lubbock doesn't have that, partly because it's really very difficult to navigate on foot. For instance, I live five blocks south of campus, but the north-south streets have no sidewalks and the south border of campus is a seven-lane road (w/divider, fortunately).
Also -- Jackmormon is wonderfully tolerant -- even to a fault! -- of listening to tipsy others' life stories. Even when the tipsy others have been inadequately socialized to know when they have been going on too long and ought to shut up already.
19 was written right after 15. There is a Buddy Holly center but that only entertains you so many afternoons (actually I'm still saving up the center, though I did take a visiting speaker to see the statue).
How late were you all there last night? I had to split early -- Mr. Breath was, unusually, out for the evening and I had to relieve our babysitter. Were you all there boozing all night? (Which would have been great if I could have stuck around. As I had to go home, you're all a bunch of lushes.)
Actually, of course, it's the problem of getting from any smallish town in America to any other smallish town in America -- two to four flights plus drives at both ends.
But as a sojourning academic, you get to rack up the frequent flyer miles until they put you in the class where they treat you significantly less rudely.
It's not getting from small town to small town... it's that living in the boonies, no one ever comes to visit, so you're always the one who has to travel.
27 - We were there until about 11. The absurdly early last call was around 10:30. I wish you could have stayed -- we didn't really get a chance to chat. Bummer!
26 -- "apologizing" is a bit strong. But wishing I had spent less of our lovely conversation time talking and more listening, well, yeah. I am happy to have met you and hope we meet again.
Hey Weiner—I don't know whether the workload keeping you in town or the allure of being some place else wins out over the holiday break, but if you're in Texas and looking for an awkward pint, I'll be in Austin from 30 Dec to 5 Jan. Be warned, I'm no Drymala or anything.
Or is an event only NMSWT sanctioned if Ogged is present?
There is more than one bar in Manhattan, you know, such that after an early last call at any given establishment a party of persons could, as it were, "hop" to another.
They could stay open later on some combination of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. That is fairly common behavior for this type of establishment.
Smasher, thanks. I'll be out of town 'til the 4th, and I don't think I'm up for a drive down to Austin as soon as I get back. But let me know if you're around autretemps.
Hmm, I would be surprised if you had information sufficient to determine that you lived in the *very* same city. Neither Jackmormon nor I actually attended high school in the very same city in which we lived, and we attended different high schools.
Btw, I am totally going to take Jackmormon. Damn Socs.
Neither Jackmormon nor I actually attended high school in the very same city in which we lived
I grew up in the same city Jackmormon has said she grew up in (I believe) but I went to school in that same city. Large public high school, diverse in a diversity of ways.
Similar to the other offers going around upstream, I'd stand any of y'all to a pint if you're ever in the Twin Cities. We could mebbe even have a MidWest meatup, with Emerson, Tripp, L., etc. (Hell, L. might even be old enough to drink by the time we actually get around to it.)
Well, I went to public high school in a city a bit to the south of where I lived. I had to write a little essay about what I could get out of their public high school, and they let me attend. Perhaps we went to the same high school, but did not live in the same city. Let me know your precise address, and you can either take sides with me or with Jackmormon in the rumble.
Hmm, a big reason my family moved from a city a bit north of where I went to high school was to get out of a problem-plagued school district without having to apply for out-of-district permits. I don't know if an essay would have been required, though.
I usually generalize just a little bit with strangers about my hometown. Tia and I are both from the very random satellite of where I usually imply I'm from.
Oh, and Tia, your ass is so going down. I remain the unvanquished arm-wrestling champion of the NWSWT.
I believe I'm a year or two older than you, Tia, but I was a bit young for my grade so if we did go to the same high school we may have been a bunch of classes apart.
Observe the shift in decorum post-meetup: It doesn't stop the throwdowns, but note the suprising lack of offers to oil you up before you wrestle or requests for videotapes. One would think there would be more offers now that your cuteness has been established but the opposite appears to have occurred out of politeness.
I like Boston, and it's been a long time since I've visited that faire citie. Try to find a good broken-glass-strewn dark alleyway for Tia and I to have our knife fight in before the next meet-up.
I graduated '95, so we weren't that far apart, assuming we really did go to the same school. Something like 540 people graduated that year (out of over 600) and we were the smallest grade in the school.
For English, did you ever have that teacher whose name sounded like the German pronunciation of a musical form suitable for dancing? God, I hated him even though all the other girls were just in love with him. I once witnessed a schoolmate recite the Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow speech along with him when he started declaiming in class, the both of them staring at each other intently. It was appalling. I knew the words to T&T&T too, but was happy to keep it to myself.
And he would say the most inappropriate things. Once, in a classroom discussion of The Sound and the Fury, he said he thought his cousin (or was it his sister?) was really hot, though he knew he had to stay away. I was wearing a hat with a rolled up cloth brim and I started rolling it down my face to express my distaste, not even self-consciously (I'm a pretty low self-monitor, and I especially was in high school). He also told us a story about pissing on his cat when he was drunk to take revenge on the cat for pissing on him.
We definitely went to the same school, or that's one hell of a coincidence. I actually liked that teacher - though not in that way - so I scheduled him more than once. Looking back, I don't think that was the best decision. There were better teachers in that school.
I remember the cat story very well. Also the buried car. I don't remember him being all that inappropriate, though now I can't remember much of what he said about anything literary.
Well, it's certainly possible that I would have interpreted his stories in a different, funnier light had I thought he was a better teacher. I just thought he was more interested in cultivating following among his students than making them learn; he was generally lazy, etc.
he was more interested in cultivating following among his students than making them learn; he was generally lazy, etc.
This is exactly why I think it would have been best had I had other teachers earlier, but it's not something I noticed while I was still taking classes with him. Then I ended up getting a student teacher who was much better than he was, followed by a teacher whose name sounded like a farewell, and I realized how much I'd been missing.
Hmm, that doesn't sound familiar (the substitute). I think the renovation hadn't finished by the time I left.
Oh, and he made a student English teacher who I really liked cry when he obscenely rudely cut into her lesson to sharply disagree with something she was saying about a book. It was really fucking gratuitous.
So did you have Mr. [Something Naomi Klein would not approve of] for AP chemistry? He's still the best teacher I ever had. I still mean to write to him, since he wrote in my yearbook that I would be a credit to my race of alien beings if I went into science, and psychology is a little closer than I imagined getting at the time, and I want him to know.
I never had farewell and I am incredibly bitter, because I still hear about how amazing he was. Generally my English education was not so great in high school, but I guess I got a lot of it in college.
Yes, I had that AP Chem teacher, though that was when he first started teaching it and you could tell a few times that he was still working out how to run things. He was better than my AP Bio teacher, that's for sure. He actually seemed to think I was too interested in science, though I still don't think that was true.
I'm willing to bet that my going into history would count as a big surprise to just about everyone at that school, though since I really was more interested in math and science than I was in other subjects.
Did you ever have the teacher whose name sounds like a color, but is spelled differently? When I had him he made a big deal about how in an ideal class no one could guess his politics, but I heard he became more and more overt about his views as time went on.
For us, when he was teaching Avogadro's number and he brought in stuffed moles that were divided into halves to indicate that a mole never changes, no matter what substance it's made of, and then he put two of the mole behinds in a beaker, and asked the class, "What do we have?" We looked at him in silence. "Mole-asses!" he shouted triumphantly.
I think he did that for us, too, now that you mention it. Why else would I remember someone yelling "Molasses!" in school?
I think the uncertainty came from the fact that he and another teacher - who had taught the class for years - were teaching it the same year, so there was always a question of how closely the two classes resembled each other in terms of coverage, grading, etc.
I guess I'm too curious to see how that school turned out, even though we were both there at pretty much the same time. I haven't set foot on that campus since 1995.
'Case it was not obvious, my disapproval was mock. (I was leering when I wrote that.)
I was going to see BM tonight but Ellen won tix to a pre-release screening of Woody Allen's new movie -- "Break Point" maybe? -- which is supposed to be good and I'm always up for Woody Allen even if it is bad -- so hopefully I will watch BM Sunday, in time for the Mineshaft discussion group.
Silvana -- I will not say I've never heard someone use that acronym in the past because I probably have; but not frequently enough for it to be an actual part of my mental lexicon. I had to go to acronym-finder to jog my memory.
my parents didn't use it. But at a certain age, all children become enamored with synonyms for poo, young and old, and so all functioning adults should have a working knowledge of anacronystic scatological terminology.
For instance, it was imprortant to know what "BM" meant, because whenever those two words appeared together, or two words appeared together that were similar in some way to "BM" you could say something like "I left BM at the breakfast table," or "I walked with BM to school today" and it was funny.
eb, I did have the color teacher. He seemed somewhat conservative to me if I recall correctly. I also caught him lying to us once. He claimed that the word "nasty" came from the cartoonist Thomas Nast, and I went home and looged it up, and the dictionary said something like, "from the Dutch nestig. I told him what I had discovered, and then he claimed to periodically insert lies into his lectures to see if anyone would comment on it. You can email me at the above adress if you want to reminisce further, since Jeremy Osner is threatened by the mysterious arousal he feels watching our bonding.
erm, didn't mean to suggest that 'bekidded' should take on the meaning of 'BM'; I kinda was thinking of a lexicon as something with a lot of slots of words, and that 'bekidded' could claim the spot but not the meaning.
Google reveals that I am not the first to discover 'bekidded'. One of the first is on a message board where one of the regular posters has a sig file with a quote from Varg Vikernes. Not a particularly innocuous quote from Varg Vikernes, either.
Yes, I did, B! Not red ones, though; they were too pointy, but I found a good deal on a different pair and now I'm skipping around Calaville in boots that no grad student should be able to afford, unless said grad student finds a lucky sale.
Tia, I've sent you an e-mail. No more eavesdropping for the rest of you! (Though I must say, e-mails feel much more serious than comments, I don't know why.)
I have heard of the lying in lecture tactic before, but I could have sworn that was from someone I knew in college. I never caught any of that teacher's lies (if he was doing that when I was there). I remember him being so serious about his subjects that the thought of him not telling the truth never crossed my mind.
In my family, no. 1 was "wee" ("make a wee") and no. 2 was "squeeze" ("make a squeeze.") Also, my private bits were referred to as my "colito" (calito?) because apparently that's what they called it in Southern Spain, where I was born, but I have yet to find anyone in Spain who's ever heard that slang (and I've met some Andaluces), so it's a little mysterious.
herm, my investigations have revealed that "calo" (which conceivably could be a root of "calito") means "Gypsy slang." So maybe they were calling the vulva "little Gypsy slang."
In one sentence, it had all the portentousness of the Lord of the Rings films (filtered lenses, on-the-nose dialogue, unnecessary extended slo-mo sequences) without the mythological foundation.
Parts of it even seemed to be directed by Baz Lurhmann, which is a fine thing if you're trying to be a bit campy, but I don't think that's what Jackson was going for.
Also, the special effects kind of weren't that good, if you can believe that. Jurrasic Park did it way, way better, and for less money and with a shorter running time.
Er, uh, I mean to say "Match Point". Sucked as a feature film. As a painting, pretty good (for the first hour-and-a-half); and as an action short, pretty good (for the last half hour). But neither section rose above "pretty good", the two did not fit together into a coherent whole, and an hour-and-a-half worth of painting is too much. Though wow, there is some splendid photography in there.
Who the hell is not sitting around stretching a flaccid penis like its pizza dough?
By the way, totally unrelated, I assure you, I want to publically thank Washerdreyer for being such a gracious host, for not molesting me in the middle of the night, and for setting me on my way in the morning. Merci beaucoup!
Non-com Weiner might deserve some mockery for this exceedingly nerdy comment at Crooked Timber, wherein he deploys his massy symbolic logic to prove that, in fact, Bush's statements are absurd.
And to 169--I just knew you'd be safer at washerdreyer's!
Amanda and co. just completely dodged the naked vs. topless question.
Yes, that was a completely legit question. It's not clear to me from the story, though, whether the female nude they substituted for the male nude was topless or naked. Of course, there's certainly no shortage of depictions of naked women in museums and such, but I'm sure a lot fewer depictions of naked men.
The stretching which Ben is describing in the linked thread ultimately does not seem that similar to the type of stretching one would perform upon a lump of pizza dough, which involves pulling outward on the rims of a disk -- you could do something vaguely similar with your foreskin I guess but (a) it would be quite uncomfortable and (b) I don't think that's what Ben was talking about. Seems more like "stretching one's penis like salt-water taffee" to me.
Maybe when you are kneading pizza dough (rather than the final flattening out for the topping stage) you would need to stretch in in a manner like unto the penis-stretching.
I was too busy trying to solve the riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a sweatshirt that was John Emerson.
The mysterious bald lurker really did grow up just a
few blocks away from my home. I almost immediately recognized him as a fellow ex-pat from his very obviously home-and-native-land accent (you
can run, but you cannot hide, from that Canadian 'ou' sound). But we didn't attend the same schools. He went to the public school in our neighbourhood, while I was bused out to an R.C. school to be catechized.
A few random observations:
Lizardbreath is just cool.
Ogged was exactly what I had expected, only more so.
Fontana Labs really is too tall for his own good, but can somehow get away with it.
Jackmormon is a bundle of energy, but in a good way. I'm surprised nobody has yet to mention the silver-haired gent from another party who was seriously trying to hit on her. Let me be the first to mention it. There was a silver-haired gent (or maybe not so gent) from some other party who kept passing by our table in a way that seemed (well, seemed) to
require brushig up against the chair, if not the actual person, of one of our own party, namely the person who goes under the name of Jackmormon. At some point, if I mistake not, he even made a Jackmormon-directed utterance, which didn't seem to have the desired (desired to him, that is) effect. Am I lying?
I don't think it was exceedingly nerdy--it hardly exceeded my normal standard. I then went and did twomore posts on it on my own blog, though that was partly out of desperation since I hadn't posted anything in eleven days.
You're not lying -- he chastised her for hanging her coat on the back of her chair, where he had no choice but to step on its tails, rather than on the hook provided for the purpose.
175: But Amanda implicated that the Venus de Milo (pictured in her post) is naked, which I think false.
ogged has committed a similar sin. In the linked clips, Mlle Poesy retains her panties, and is so topless rather than naked. Or so I have been informed.
J, it really all depends on who's doing the molesting.
As for the next Mineshaft gathering, you could always join me in crashing Fontana's classes when they start up again next semester. ("Excuse me, Professor? Yes, which philosoher had the largest cock? That's really the only one I'm interested in reading.")
179--Wait, you're saying that the old dude was hitting on me as opposed to being a serious pain in the ass who wouldn't get a clue about non-intrusive traffic flow?
Are you trying to make me feel bad about having been mean about him?
Oh yeah, the reason (one reason) I happily put up Michael for the night was to not cockblock your chance at the annoying old dude, who was in fact hitting on your 4th grade style. Obviously you and Joe D. were just a ruse to distract from the flirting with him.
Really, we need to marry FL off for size. It'll be pure waste if he marries someone of normal height. Maybe LB has some gigantic cousins that might work out.
(Hoping this is not going to lead to invocations of Godwin's or similar laws...)
...Took some thought but based on my own 176 and 178 above, I have figured out who the hell is sitting around stretching out a flaccid penis like it's pizza dough": A Jew in Nazi Germany, who is trying to pass as an uncircumcised Gentile, of course. So obvious I am amazed it escaped me at the moment.
In my haste I omitted an opening quotation mark in 217, there should be one immediately before the first "who".
And I am realizing that I am assuming I know something about Ben Wolfson's tribe, where in fact his entire online persona could easily be pseud and I would be none the wiser. So appypollylogies if the assumption was unwarranted.
If only I'd seen Weiner's symbolic logic refresher earlier this week. Nobody has yet mentioned that Mr. B speaks in intriguing cryptic statements that require Venn diagrams to parse ("If X statement about my real life is true, then Y may be true but if Not X is true then Y or Z may be true...that is, if I'm even describing real-life truth and not blog truth."). If you want your mind blown, sit by him.
Maybe LB has some gigantic cousins that might work out.
I do have gigantic cousins, but they all married young. Although I'd like to see FL in the same room as my cousin Chris, just for the entertainment value of seeing Chris look comparatively small and swarthy. (Normally he looks as if he should be posing on a tractor, triumphantly holding a turnip up to the sunrise, while the other workers on his collective farm cluster joyously behind him).
Also, if you can't make it to Bareback Mountain but want some close-up pictures of male genitalia, you can visit the Viafin-Atlas website that Apostropher links.
Although I'd like to see FL in the same room as my cousin Chris
LB's casting for the Giantish retelling of Brokeback Mountain. Cool!
(I note for the record that I am coming to believe that much of baa's reputation for decisiveness is based on his promiscuous use of exclamation points. It works!)
Today, on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, we visit the latest wilderness, the blog comment arena.
Limited to the typed word, the modern male still makes every effort to impress the female with his prowess and desirability. As their ancestors have done since time began, the males vie for attention while circling, circling, keeping one eye on the female and one eye on each other.
Look - the contest has attracted a third! And now another female joins the group! Performing what is perhaps the most important task of their lives, the courtship dancers strut and sway, thrust and parry, compelled by instinct to perform actions and tasks they may not even fully understand.
Thus life is born anew, a new hope, a new beginning for this ancient species.
Dude -- how come they got so much better a write-up than we did?
Total NY favoritism.
Posted by Ezra | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:40 AM
He also had an air of practiced calm, and a steady smile, which said, clearly, post-traumatic stress disorder. Whether this is owing to his time in the military, or to other, unknown factors, we could not say.
Nah, he loved the military. The PTSD is a result of the marriage.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:40 AM
Ezra Klein sucked my cock.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:44 AM
Did you leave a tip?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:47 AM
It should be noted that the first thing I thought when I read the title of this post was "Cooties Rat Semen".
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:48 AM
And I, "Setec Astronomy". Forgot about the rat semen somehow.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:53 AM
Ok, because I thought C-tec Astronomy, and then realized it was the wrong anagram.
Also, quietness explained by a) tiredness and b) in general better at meeting new people in smaller rather than larger groups. Though the degree to which last night counts as "meeting new people" is debatable.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:55 AM
5 seems to contain an extraneous 'i', and 6 an extraneous 'y'.
I am extremely jealous. Lubbock is also very cheap. (Actually Lubbock is expensive to get to, which seems deeply unfair.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:57 AM
Preempted and my spelling was off. Oh the humanity.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:58 AM
"Friendly" post, ogged.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:00 AM
Ok, going offline-ish again....
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:00 AM
Matt, I was thinking about that yesterday: the problem of academic geography. At least I'm within a days' drive of a couple of cities. I should be less whiny.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:02 AM
Well, I'm within a day's drive of Austin and Santa Fe and Albuquerque and most of those other cities in Texas except Houston. But it's a whole day.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:04 AM
I thought college towns were supposed to be charming and quaint?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:04 AM
No more sympathy for the late hours, LB.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:06 AM
Charming and quaint = teh suxx0r.
I like the SW a lot, Matt--but alas, non-locals don't often have reason to travel to Albuquerque or Austin, so it's a bit isolating.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:07 AM
Doesn't Lubbock have, at least, Buddy Holly related gift shops or something?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:07 AM
Not to be self centered or anything, but I'm curious why Ogged is apologizing to Weiner for my alleged charm (I was kind of shy + sleepy). It's not Ogged's fault.
I lived in the same city in high school as Jackmormon. Only we were from opposite sides of the tracks, and now must rumble.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:10 AM
Was that too hostile? This seems like a good description of Lubbock so far, a suburb without a city. When I think 'quaint college town' I think of something like maybe Claremont or Wellesley, based on my limited experience, a sleepy place with a cute little shopping area near campus. Lubbock doesn't have that, partly because it's really very difficult to navigate on foot. For instance, I live five blocks south of campus, but the north-south streets have no sidewalks and the south border of campus is a seven-lane road (w/divider, fortunately).
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:13 AM
Is the deep dark secret here that we are all, in the main, rather nice people?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:14 AM
Also -- Jackmormon is wonderfully tolerant -- even to a fault! -- of listening to tipsy others' life stories. Even when the tipsy others have been inadequately socialized to know when they have been going on too long and ought to shut up already.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:14 AM
19 was written right after 15. There is a Buddy Holly center but that only entertains you so many afternoons (actually I'm still saving up the center, though I did take a visiting speaker to see the statue).
Tia, he's apologizing to me for not talking to Becks.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:17 AM
Maybe during our congress in Fargo, Joe and I can find less wonky topics of conversation. That's assuming I survive my rumble with Tia, of course.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:17 AM
during our congress in Fargo
OK, I think you can stop feeling bad about the jokes you made during their "smoke" break.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:18 AM
I am an ass, I forgot that the word "congress" appears in the post. Off to grade.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:19 AM
21--You're not apologizing, are you?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:20 AM
How late were you all there last night? I had to split early -- Mr. Breath was, unusually, out for the evening and I had to relieve our babysitter. Were you all there boozing all night? (Which would have been great if I could have stuck around. As I had to go home, you're all a bunch of lushes.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:20 AM
the problem of academic geography
Actually, of course, it's the problem of getting from any smallish town in America to any other smallish town in America -- two to four flights plus drives at both ends.
But as a sojourning academic, you get to rack up the frequent flyer miles until they put you in the class where they treat you significantly less rudely.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:20 AM
It's not getting from small town to small town... it's that living in the boonies, no one ever comes to visit, so you're always the one who has to travel.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:23 AM
Not too late, they had a very early last call, and it wasn't just because they wanted us gone.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:25 AM
27 - We were there until about 11. The absurdly early last call was around 10:30. I wish you could have stayed -- we didn't really get a chance to chat. Bummer!
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:25 AM
26 -- "apologizing" is a bit strong. But wishing I had spent less of our lovely conversation time talking and more listening, well, yeah. I am happy to have met you and hope we meet again.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:27 AM
last call was around 10:30.
WTF? What kind of bar closes at that time?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:27 AM
The Mineshaft.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:30 AM
The Mineshaft never closes, silly.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:31 AM
Hey Weiner—I don't know whether the workload keeping you in town or the allure of being some place else wins out over the holiday break, but if you're in Texas and looking for an awkward pint, I'll be in Austin from 30 Dec to 5 Jan. Be warned, I'm no Drymala or anything.
Or is an event only NMSWT sanctioned if Ogged is present?
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:34 AM
What I meant was that when the Mineshaft crew shows up, every bar closes early.
Subtlety is lost on you people.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:35 AM
There is more than one bar in Manhattan, you know, such that after an early last call at any given establishment a party of persons could, as it were, "hop" to another.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:35 AM
I brought Matt F home with me after the DC meatup.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:37 AM
Don't tell his mom.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:38 AM
last call was around 10:30.
I swear Old Town didn't close that early when I was a teenager trying to pass as 21. I know I've been there past midnight.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:39 AM
They could stay open later on some combination of Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. That is fairly common behavior for this type of establishment.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:40 AM
Fair point.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:42 AM
Oy, the spam attack begins in earnest. Ogged, I thought you had blocked all .info domains?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:09 AM
Smasher, thanks. I'll be out of town 'til the 4th, and I don't think I'm up for a drive down to Austin as soon as I get back. But let me know if you're around autretemps.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:14 AM
Don't tell his mom.
Yeah, it's bad enough that she thinks I'm normal-gay. Mineshaft-gay would really push her over the edge.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:25 AM
5 seems to contain an extraneous 'i', and 6 an extraneous 'y'.
Too many secrets, Marty. Should've been "Cooty Rat Semen", I guess, but "Setec Astronomy" checks out.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:29 AM
My implicit approval of "Setec Astronomy" in 9 wasn't credible enough for you?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:33 AM
This doesn't concern you, w/d.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:35 AM
At least no one has made a "My voice is my passport please verify me" joke yet.
I'll keep my nose out of it if you provide the script I asked for.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:44 AM
Based on information in 21 and elsewhere, it's possible that I also lived in the same city as Tia and Jackmormon during high school.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:05 PM
You all realize that this was all just training for when I go to NYC, right?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:07 PM
Patience, young Ben. Perhaps the NWSWT will come to you.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:09 PM
Or even, the NMSWT.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:10 PM
When are you coming to NYC? I will try to avoid scheduling a conflicting appointment with my dentist.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:10 PM
NWSWT
The Not Work-Safe World Tour.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:11 PM
I don't know why I wrote 21, I mean 18.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:28 PM
(Rats!)
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:30 PM
Did you rumble as a youth?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:30 PM
There were a lot of fights my freshman year - and by fights I mean freshmen getting beaten up - but I was never involved in any of them.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:34 PM
So I'm guessing you went to Harvard in the nineteenth century sometime.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:35 PM
High school, slol, high school.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:39 PM
OK, so you went to Rugby in the 1830s.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:41 PM
Did you rumble as a youth?
A time or two to be sure -- but I was always sure to say "excuse me" when it happened.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:43 PM
Hmm, I would be surprised if you had information sufficient to determine that you lived in the *very* same city. Neither Jackmormon nor I actually attended high school in the very same city in which we lived, and we attended different high schools.
Btw, I am totally going to take Jackmormon. Damn Socs.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:44 PM
Is this picking on the HS Freshman thing new, or maybe regional?
In my yute there was hardly any of that, although considering the soci-economic mix (mostly very lower middle class Chicago suburb) you'd expect it.
Now, in a squeeky clean MN HS, very solid middle to upper middle class you get these stupid Freshman harrassment things going on.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:48 PM
Neither Jackmormon nor I actually attended high school in the very same city in which we lived
I grew up in the same city Jackmormon has said she grew up in (I believe) but I went to school in that same city. Large public high school, diverse in a diversity of ways.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:51 PM
Similar to the other offers going around upstream, I'd stand any of y'all to a pint if you're ever in the Twin Cities. We could mebbe even have a MidWest meatup, with Emerson, Tripp, L., etc. (Hell, L. might even be old enough to drink by the time we actually get around to it.)
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:53 PM
heh heh you said MidWest meatup, heh heh.
I'd go as far as Madison or Chicago.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:57 PM
Well, I went to public high school in a city a bit to the south of where I lived. I had to write a little essay about what I could get out of their public high school, and they let me attend. Perhaps we went to the same high school, but did not live in the same city. Let me know your precise address, and you can either take sides with me or with Jackmormon in the rumble.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 12:59 PM
I will likely be in Urbana for a coupla days this Spring. If that is midwest enough for you guys.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:01 PM
Hmm, a big reason my family moved from a city a bit north of where I went to high school was to get out of a problem-plagued school district without having to apply for out-of-district permits. I don't know if an essay would have been required, though.
I will referee.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:06 PM
How old are you, eb?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:09 PM
Hmm, you must be older than me if you are ABD...
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:10 PM
I usually generalize just a little bit with strangers about my hometown. Tia and I are both from the very random satellite of where I usually imply I'm from.
Oh, and Tia, your ass is so going down. I remain the unvanquished arm-wrestling champion of the NWSWT.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:11 PM
"Anyone But Digby"?
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:11 PM
Who said we were arm wrestling? I'm not giving up my size advantage. I maintain I can sit on you and bam! Rumble over.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:12 PM
"Advanced Bondage and Discipline"?
Is this picking on the HS Freshman thing new, or maybe regional?
As a shrimpy HS freshman in Chicago in 1972-73 (I had been double-promoted, so was a year younger than the other kids), I certainly got abused.
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:17 PM
I believe I'm a year or two older than you, Tia, but I was a bit young for my grade so if we did go to the same high school we may have been a bunch of classes apart.
ABD = all but
dissipationdissertationPosted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:19 PM
Well, I graduated in '97, and based on JM's last comment, I'm pretty sure we went to the same high school. But there are a lot of us in the world.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:23 PM
Some day we need a Boston meet-up. It could be some place like Somerville. Doesn't have to be in the city proper.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:23 PM
Observe the shift in decorum post-meetup: It doesn't stop the throwdowns, but note the suprising lack of offers to oil you up before you wrestle or requests for videotapes. One would think there would be more offers now that your cuteness has been established but the opposite appears to have occurred out of politeness.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:24 PM
We are nothing if not gentlemen 'round here.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:27 PM
Heh - I almost continued that comment with "Now all the NYC guys are going to have to funnel their requests through Apostropher".
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:28 PM
Heh - I almost continued that comment with "Now all the NYC guys are going to have to funnel their requests through Apostropher".
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:29 PM
Now all the NYC guys are going to have to funnel their requests through Apostropher
ATM
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:30 PM
I like Boston, and it's been a long time since I've visited that faire citie. Try to find a good broken-glass-strewn dark alleyway for Tia and I to have our knife fight in before the next meet-up.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:31 PM
I'd go up to Boston. I have a few friends up there whom I haven't seen in a while, it'd give me a nice excuse for a road trip.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:40 PM
Alas! Our Boston visit is already planned for 2 weeks from now; which I imagine is too soon for the rest of you.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:44 PM
I graduated '95, so we weren't that far apart, assuming we really did go to the same school. Something like 540 people graduated that year (out of over 600) and we were the smallest grade in the school.
Also, Becks, was my offer to referee too subtle?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:46 PM
Hoxxxt.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:52 PM
For English, did you ever have that teacher whose name sounded like the German pronunciation of a musical form suitable for dancing? God, I hated him even though all the other girls were just in love with him. I once witnessed a schoolmate recite the Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow speech along with him when he started declaiming in class, the both of them staring at each other intently. It was appalling. I knew the words to T&T&T too, but was happy to keep it to myself.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 1:59 PM
was my offer to referee too subtle
Yes, it seemed like a claim to neutrality rather than chivalry.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:05 PM
that teacher whose name sounded like the German pronunciation of a musical form suitable for dancing?
Herr Pfandangostein? Yeah, I remember him . . .
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:08 PM
And he would say the most inappropriate things. Once, in a classroom discussion of The Sound and the Fury, he said he thought his cousin (or was it his sister?) was really hot, though he knew he had to stay away. I was wearing a hat with a rolled up cloth brim and I started rolling it down my face to express my distaste, not even self-consciously (I'm a pretty low self-monitor, and I especially was in high school). He also told us a story about pissing on his cat when he was drunk to take revenge on the cat for pissing on him.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:09 PM
We definitely went to the same school, or that's one hell of a coincidence. I actually liked that teacher - though not in that way - so I scheduled him more than once. Looking back, I don't think that was the best decision. There were better teachers in that school.
I remember the cat story very well. Also the buried car. I don't remember him being all that inappropriate, though now I can't remember much of what he said about anything literary.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:17 PM
Well, it's certainly possible that I would have interpreted his stories in a different, funnier light had I thought he was a better teacher. I just thought he was more interested in cultivating following among his students than making them learn; he was generally lazy, etc.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:23 PM
You were there when they renovated the science buildings, right? I'm jealous, though I guess I did miss the fire in that other building.
Did you ever have the substitute teacher whose name was only one letter (or so she said), but who seemed to know who everyone was before calling roll?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:25 PM
I feel so left out.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:29 PM
he was more interested in cultivating following among his students than making them learn; he was generally lazy, etc.
This is exactly why I think it would have been best had I had other teachers earlier, but it's not something I noticed while I was still taking classes with him. Then I ended up getting a student teacher who was much better than he was, followed by a teacher whose name sounded like a farewell, and I realized how much I'd been missing.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:29 PM
Hmm, that doesn't sound familiar (the substitute). I think the renovation hadn't finished by the time I left.
Oh, and he made a student English teacher who I really liked cry when he obscenely rudely cut into her lesson to sharply disagree with something she was saying about a book. It was really fucking gratuitous.
So did you have Mr. [Something Naomi Klein would not approve of] for AP chemistry? He's still the best teacher I ever had. I still mean to write to him, since he wrote in my yearbook that I would be a credit to my race of alien beings if I went into science, and psychology is a little closer than I imagined getting at the time, and I want him to know.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:31 PM
I never had farewell and I am incredibly bitter, because I still hear about how amazing he was. Generally my English education was not so great in high school, but I guess I got a lot of it in college.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:33 PM
Yes, I had that AP Chem teacher, though that was when he first started teaching it and you could tell a few times that he was still working out how to run things. He was better than my AP Bio teacher, that's for sure. He actually seemed to think I was too interested in science, though I still don't think that was true.
I'm willing to bet that my going into history would count as a big surprise to just about everyone at that school, though since I really was more interested in math and science than I was in other subjects.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:39 PM
Did you ever have the teacher whose name sounds like a color, but is spelled differently? When I had him he made a big deal about how in an ideal class no one could guess his politics, but I heard he became more and more overt about his views as time went on.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:43 PM
For us, when he was teaching Avogadro's number and he brought in stuffed moles that were divided into halves to indicate that a mole never changes, no matter what substance it's made of, and then he put two of the mole behinds in a beaker, and asked the class, "What do we have?" We looked at him in silence. "Mole-asses!" he shouted triumphantly.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:46 PM
I think he did that for us, too, now that you mention it. Why else would I remember someone yelling "Molasses!" in school?
I think the uncertainty came from the fact that he and another teacher - who had taught the class for years - were teaching it the same year, so there was always a question of how closely the two classes resembled each other in terms of coverage, grading, etc.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 2:53 PM
Jeez get a room guys
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:02 PM
on a different note, has anyone seen Brokeback Mountain yet?
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:08 PM
I guess I'm too curious to see how that school turned out, even though we were both there at pretty much the same time. I haven't set foot on that campus since 1995.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:09 PM
'Case it was not obvious, my disapproval was mock. (I was leering when I wrote that.)
I was going to see BM tonight but Ellen won tix to a pre-release screening of Woody Allen's new movie -- "Break Point" maybe? -- which is supposed to be good and I'm always up for Woody Allen even if it is bad -- so hopefully I will watch BM Sunday, in time for the Mineshaft discussion group.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:12 PM
I will watch BM
Surely this is a case for anti-acronymity.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:13 PM
Why, what embarrassing thing does BM stand for?
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:17 PM
I will watch BM
ATM. (both meanings)
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:18 PM
Jeremy, surely you jest?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:20 PM
MAE, glad it's not just me.
Posted by slolerner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:21 PM
Ah. got it -- I was not familiar with that acronym.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:21 PM
Silvana -- I will not say I've never heard someone use that acronym in the past because I probably have; but not frequently enough for it to be an actual part of my mental lexicon. I had to go to acronym-finder to jog my memory.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:23 PM
Weird, I would've expected the bekidded to be more familiar with that acronym than the rest of us.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:43 PM
It seems to have dropped out of the current parenting vocabulary, at least in my circles. 'Poop' is far more common.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:52 PM
A friend of my family decorated their hallway bathroom with framed pages from the children's book "Everybody Poops". It's, uh, interesting.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:55 PM
Yes, my experience tallies with LB's -- it was used when I was a kid but seems to have fallen out of favor.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:56 PM
Hm. Is there any newfangled terminology for 'fart'?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 3:58 PM
my parents didn't use it. But at a certain age, all children become enamored with synonyms for poo, young and old, and so all functioning adults should have a working knowledge of anacronystic scatological terminology.
For instance, it was imprortant to know what "BM" meant, because whenever those two words appeared together, or two words appeared together that were similar in some way to "BM" you could say something like "I left BM at the breakfast table," or "I walked with BM to school today" and it was funny.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:01 PM
BM may have fallen out of the lexicon, but I think bekidded really needs to take its place.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:03 PM
Hm. Is there any newfangled terminology for 'fart'?
Yes, "ogged".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:03 PM
eb, I did have the color teacher. He seemed somewhat conservative to me if I recall correctly. I also caught him lying to us once. He claimed that the word "nasty" came from the cartoonist Thomas Nast, and I went home and looged it up, and the dictionary said something like, "from the Dutch nestig. I told him what I had discovered, and then he claimed to periodically insert lies into his lectures to see if anyone would comment on it. You can email me at the above adress if you want to reminisce further, since Jeremy Osner is threatened by the mysterious arousal he feels watching our bonding.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:06 PM
"bekidded" is nice, though not in place of BM. Maybe Weiner can create a post around it, like AOTW*, so we can help him out.
*Still behind Anti/etam on the Web and A/rt of the W/est, darnit.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:06 PM
I got demerits for loogieing things up.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:08 PM
Agreed: Fontana is one funny cocksucker.
And Ogged is more bold on the blog than he is in person.
Now to read all of these comments...
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:10 PM
And Ogged is more bold on the blog than he is in person.
Oh, by far.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:12 PM
Yeah, it's bad enough that she thinks I'm normal-gay.
Who was it who said at the DC meatup, "It's hard having that talk with your parents, telling them you're straight"? Sounds like Saiselgy wit.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:13 PM
he claimed to periodically insert lies into his lectures to see if anyone would comment on it.
I'm so using that.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:14 PM
Then I was led back to a booth with Jeremy Osner, and John Emerson.
So no one else found this sentence worthy of comment? Doesn't strike you as sinister?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:44 PM
#120: I'm so using that.
Also the purposeful lies in lecture. Not a bad idea atall. 'Course, saying that would also be a nice cover for when one is just flat-out wrong...
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:46 PM
"It's more fun that, way"
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 4:46 PM
erm, didn't mean to suggest that 'bekidded' should take on the meaning of 'BM'; I kinda was thinking of a lexicon as something with a lot of slots of words, and that 'bekidded' could claim the spot but not the meaning.
Self-pwn3d.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:01 PM
Cala, did you buy the cowboy boots?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:04 PM
Google reveals that I am not the first to discover 'bekidded'. One of the first is on a message board where one of the regular posters has a sig file with a quote from Varg Vikernes. Not a particularly innocuous quote from Varg Vikernes, either.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:12 PM
Yes, I did, B! Not red ones, though; they were too pointy, but I found a good deal on a different pair and now I'm skipping around Calaville in boots that no grad student should be able to afford, unless said grad student finds a lucky sale.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:23 PM
Looking forward to the empirical testing at Oggedcon Southern Hemisphere...
Posted by neil | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:23 PM
Tia, I've sent you an e-mail. No more eavesdropping for the rest of you! (Though I must say, e-mails feel much more serious than comments, I don't know why.)
I have heard of the lying in lecture tactic before, but I could have sworn that was from someone I knew in college. I never caught any of that teacher's lies (if he was doing that when I was there). I remember him being so serious about his subjects that the thought of him not telling the truth never crossed my mind.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:26 PM
Cala, awesome! It's always good to have the kind of shoes that no grad student should be able to afford :)
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:31 PM
Rather than BM my family used the appropriate word from another language. I wonder if other families with at least one immigrant parent did this too.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:31 PM
What kind of dreck is that, eb? Puro caca.
Posted by neil | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 5:50 PM
In my family, no. 1 was "wee" ("make a wee") and no. 2 was "squeeze" ("make a squeeze.") Also, my private bits were referred to as my "colito" (calito?) because apparently that's what they called it in Southern Spain, where I was born, but I have yet to find anyone in Spain who's ever heard that slang (and I've met some Andaluces), so it's a little mysterious.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 6:28 PM
Sounds like Saiselgy wit.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was him. He and I have shared the same struggle, apparently.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 6:39 PM
Within my family all the "private" words were Chinese, which I don't even know how to transliterate. Not that I know Chinese, anyway.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 6:52 PM
my drugs really needs to step.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:34 PM
So will my drugs succeed in reaching the top posts before ogged gets back? Stay tuned.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:43 PM
Man, I'm so bummed that I had no online access today.
It should be noted that while I'm certainly no stranger to salacious rumors, Jackmormon is far to dignified a lady for such talk.
I just saw King Kong. What a fucking disaster that was.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:46 PM
too
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:46 PM
Jackmormon is far too dignified a lady for such talk.
Of course. The better sort understand that talk is cheap.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:58 PM
150 is just another version of "a gentleman never tells", anyway, and we all know what that means.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 7:59 PM
Ben, no one reads between my lines like you do.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:09 PM
herm, my investigations have revealed that "calo" (which conceivably could be a root of "calito") means "Gypsy slang." So maybe they were calling the vulva "little Gypsy slang."
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:17 PM
Maybe they were calling it a marijuana bud.
Warm smell of the vulva
Rising up through the air
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:19 PM
Ben Wolfson saves my reputation!
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:21 PM
my drugs really needs to step.
Well, it does explain this unfamiliar, lucid, clearheaded feeling. All my drugs are out spamming.
I miss them.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:25 PM
Joe D--
Do tell about King Kong. I had high hopes.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:33 PM
Warm smell of colitis
Rising up through the air.
Straight dope Cecil tells me it ain't a flower after all, though.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:33 PM
Do tell about King Kong. I had high hopes.
In one sentence, it had all the portentousness of the Lord of the Rings films (filtered lenses, on-the-nose dialogue, unnecessary extended slo-mo sequences) without the mythological foundation.
Parts of it even seemed to be directed by Baz Lurhmann, which is a fine thing if you're trying to be a bit campy, but I don't think that's what Jackson was going for.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:38 PM
Also, the special effects kind of weren't that good, if you can believe that. Jurrasic Park did it way, way better, and for less money and with a shorter running time.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 8:48 PM
Hey, I just saw Break Point and that sucked also.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:37 PM
Er, uh, I mean to say "Match Point". Sucked as a feature film. As a painting, pretty good (for the first hour-and-a-half); and as an action short, pretty good (for the last half hour). But neither section rose above "pretty good", the two did not fit together into a coherent whole, and an hour-and-a-half worth of painting is too much. Though wow, there is some splendid photography in there.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 9:54 PM
While not-grading, I have occasionally been linking to Unfogged threads at other blogs. So far the responses are
Which makes me wonder--who the hell is sitting around stretching out a flaccid penis like it's pizza dough or something?
and
Bawdy?! Honestly, Professor Weiner, you're worse than the spammers.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:00 PM
They call you Professor Weiner over there?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:07 PM
What else should they call him? Sergeant Weiner?
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:09 PM
You can't spring stuff like that. People need to be eased into it. The Mineshaft is a rough place, you need to take it slow.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:10 PM
Who the hell is not sitting around stretching a flaccid penis like its pizza dough?
By the way, totally unrelated, I assure you, I want to publically thank Washerdreyer for being such a gracious host, for not molesting me in the middle of the night, and for setting me on my way in the morning. Merci beaucoup!
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:10 PM
What else should they call him? Sergeant Weiner?
Private Weiner.
(That fruit was hanging so low, I picked it up off the ground.)
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:12 PM
God, y'all's penes come with pizza dough, too?
You motherfuckers have all the fun.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:13 PM
You guys give me some good chuckles now and again.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:15 PM
Amanda and co. just completely dodged the naked vs. topless question.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:16 PM
Non-com Weiner might deserve some mockery for this exceedingly nerdy comment at Crooked Timber, wherein he deploys his massy symbolic logic to prove that, in fact, Bush's statements are absurd.
And to 169--I just knew you'd be safer at washerdreyer's!
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:20 PM
Amanda and co. just completely dodged the naked vs. topless question.
Yes, that was a completely legit question. It's not clear to me from the story, though, whether the female nude they substituted for the male nude was topless or naked. Of course, there's certainly no shortage of depictions of naked women in museums and such, but I'm sure a lot fewer depictions of naked men.
Warm smell of the vulva
Rising up through the air
Mmmm, vulva . . . .
/Homer Simpson
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:21 PM
The stretching which Ben is describing in the linked thread ultimately does not seem that similar to the type of stretching one would perform upon a lump of pizza dough, which involves pulling outward on the rims of a disk -- you could do something vaguely similar with your foreskin I guess but (a) it would be quite uncomfortable and (b) I don't think that's what Ben was talking about. Seems more like "stretching one's penis like salt-water taffee" to me.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:21 PM
Maybe when you are kneading pizza dough (rather than the final flattening out for the topping stage) you would need to stretch in in a manner like unto the penis-stretching.
I dunno, I've never made pizza.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:24 PM
And come to think of it Ben and others of his tribe probably couldn't do any stretching with the foreskin.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:24 PM
I didn't mix and mingle as much as I should have.
I was too busy trying to solve the riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a sweatshirt that was John Emerson.
The mysterious bald lurker really did grow up just a
few blocks away from my home. I almost immediately recognized him as a fellow ex-pat from his very obviously home-and-native-land accent (you
can run, but you cannot hide, from that Canadian 'ou' sound). But we didn't attend the same schools. He went to the public school in our neighbourhood, while I was bused out to an R.C. school to be catechized.
A few random observations:
Lizardbreath is just cool.
Ogged was exactly what I had expected, only more so.
Fontana Labs really is too tall for his own good, but can somehow get away with it.
Jackmormon is a bundle of energy, but in a good way. I'm surprised nobody has yet to mention the silver-haired gent from another party who was seriously trying to hit on her. Let me be the first to mention it. There was a silver-haired gent (or maybe not so gent) from some other party who kept passing by our table in a way that seemed (well, seemed) to
require brushig up against the chair, if not the actual person, of one of our own party, namely the person who goes under the name of Jackmormon. At some point, if I mistake not, he even made a Jackmormon-directed utterance, which didn't seem to have the desired (desired to him, that is) effect. Am I lying?
Joe Drymala cracked me up. In a good way.
Posted by Invisible Adjunct | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:24 PM
I don't think it was exceedingly nerdy--it hardly exceeded my normal standard. I then went and did two more posts on it on my own blog, though that was partly out of desperation since I hadn't posted anything in eleven days.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:26 PM
You're not lying -- he chastised her for hanging her coat on the back of her chair, where he had no choice but to step on its tails, rather than on the hook provided for the purpose.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:27 PM
Which makes me wonder--who the hell is sitting around stretching out a flaccid penis like it's pizza dough or something?
The guys at Puppetry of the Penis?
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:29 PM
175: But Amanda implicated that the Venus de Milo (pictured in her post) is naked, which I think false.
ogged has committed a similar sin. In the linked clips, Mlle Poesy retains her panties, and is so topless rather than naked. Or so I have been informed.
Posted by Private W. | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:32 PM
J, it really all depends on who's doing the molesting.
As for the next Mineshaft gathering, you could always join me in crashing Fontana's classes when they start up again next semester. ("Excuse me, Professor? Yes, which philosoher had the largest cock? That's really the only one I'm interested in reading.")
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:38 PM
Oh, it was totally Plato.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:41 PM
Aristotle had bigger balls.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:44 PM
I dunno, I've heard some stories about Wittgenstein...
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:45 PM
Plato: Athens must be ruled by philosophers!
Athenian Citizen: Wait, aren't you a philosopher?
Plato: *whistles, twiddles thumbs*
Anyone who can make an argument like that would have to have a huge cock.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:48 PM
But Aristotle, or so I've been told, actually tried to do it.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:49 PM
With whom?
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:51 PM
I've heard some stories about Wittgenstein
Yes, there's a well known one about his "poker"
Also, I deny being a particularly gracious host.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 10:59 PM
With whom?
Alexander the Great.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:01 PM
No worse than Plato in Syracuse, really.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:06 PM
In the linked clips, Mlle Poesy retains her panties, and is so topless rather than naked. Or so I have been informed.
The dude has a kind of Mr Bean thing going on.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:08 PM
179--Wait, you're saying that the old dude was hitting on me as opposed to being a serious pain in the ass who wouldn't get a clue about non-intrusive traffic flow?
Are you trying to make me feel bad about having been mean about him?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:13 PM
Maybe she's trying to make you feel good about it.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:17 PM
Oh yeah, the reason (one reason) I happily put up Michael for the night was to not cockblock your chance at the annoying old dude, who was in fact hitting on your 4th grade style. Obviously you and Joe D. were just a ruse to distract from the flirting with him.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:20 PM
I deny being a particularly gracious host.
Are you saying you did molest me?
Seriously, you were hella nice, especially consider you had never met me.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:21 PM
"your" s/b "you,"
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:24 PM
"hella" may be the worst word in all of Christiandom. Just sayin'.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:27 PM
Far from the worst band in all of Christendom, though.
Posted by NoneDareCallHimTim | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:34 PM
How could I have been so blind? Truly, Washerdreyer, you set me up, Joe provided the assist, and yet I failed to score.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:35 PM
167,170: Major Weiner? General Weiner? BurgerMeister Meister Weiner?
By the by: FL is so huge, well, it might actually make sense that he might be so huge. Good on him. HA.
Posted by Mr. B | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:41 PM
Really, we need to marry FL off for size. It'll be pure waste if he marries someone of normal height. Maybe LB has some gigantic cousins that might work out.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-14-05 11:47 PM
Yeah, you guys can't leave yet, I"m still working.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:00 AM
Seriously, dont leave me alone here with my drugs.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:02 AM
All my drugs are belong to you.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:05 AM
G'night.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:05 AM
But I love you!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:08 AM
Oh god, please don't let her drink and drive…
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:09 AM
Is the quarter not over?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:29 AM
No.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:39 AM
Are you sure?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:45 AM
167,170: Major Weiner? General Weiner? BurgerMeister Meister Weiner?
With a name like Weiner there's only possible rank: Regimental Sargeant Major Weiner.
It's got some of that rolling grandeur and dignity shit going.
ash
['You could go for truly tasteless tho...']
Posted by ash | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:49 AM
I don't not know that the interaction of 211 and 212 create a false implication via double negation.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:50 AM
Wiener Weiner Weiner Weiner? Ex-PFC Weinergreen?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 12:50 AM
(Hoping this is not going to lead to invocations of Godwin's or similar laws...)
...Took some thought but based on my own 176 and 178 above, I have figured out who the hell is sitting around stretching out a flaccid penis like it's pizza dough": A Jew in Nazi Germany, who is trying to pass as an uncircumcised Gentile, of course. So obvious I am amazed it escaped me at the moment.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 4:08 AM
In my haste I omitted an opening quotation mark in 217, there should be one immediately before the first "who".
And I am realizing that I am assuming I know something about Ben Wolfson's tribe, where in fact his entire online persona could easily be pseud and I would be none the wiser. So appypollylogies if the assumption was unwarranted.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 5:41 AM
Major Weiner.
Seaman Weiner.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:39 AM
Commandant Weiner
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:49 AM
Lance Corporal Weiner
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:50 AM
And finally, the most popular at the Mineshaft, Rear Admiral Weiner.
But I basically stole that joke from Sweeney Todd.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:51 AM
217: Most gentiles I know are circumcised. However, artificial foreskins are now available.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:54 AM
Able Seaman Weiner or Ordinary Seaman Weiner?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 7:56 AM
Before this thread runs its course, I would just like to go on record as saying that "mysterious bald lurker" would make a great euphemism.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:03 AM
If only I'd seen Weiner's symbolic logic refresher earlier this week. Nobody has yet mentioned that Mr. B speaks in intriguing cryptic statements that require Venn diagrams to parse ("If X statement about my real life is true, then Y may be true but if Not X is true then Y or Z may be true...that is, if I'm even describing real-life truth and not blog truth."). If you want your mind blown, sit by him.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:09 AM
If you want your mind blown, sit by him.
(And, if it's unclear, I mean that in a good way.)
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:11 AM
Maybe LB has some gigantic cousins that might work out.
I do have gigantic cousins, but they all married young. Although I'd like to see FL in the same room as my cousin Chris, just for the entertainment value of seeing Chris look comparatively small and swarthy. (Normally he looks as if he should be posing on a tractor, triumphantly holding a turnip up to the sunrise, while the other workers on his collective farm cluster joyously behind him).
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:13 AM
Mr. B speaks in intriguing cryptic statements that require Venn diagrams to parse
Definitely did a marvelous job of being entertainingly enigmatic about the anonymity thing.
But I basically stole that joke from Sweeney Todd.
Who stole it from Jane Austen.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:15 AM
223: Right, but in mid-century Germany, not so much. (This applies to both of your statements.)
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:19 AM
And finally, the most popular at the Mineshaft, Rear Admiral Weiner.
What's wrong with Vice-Admiral Weiner?
Posted by ash | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:20 AM
Also, if you can't make it to Bareback Mountain but want some close-up pictures of male genitalia, you can visit the Viafin-Atlas website that Apostropher links.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:22 AM
Who the hell is not sitting around stretching a flaccid penis like its pizza dough
Well, me, for one.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:47 AM
bp,
Well, me, for one.
Ah, but you couldbe.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:50 AM
Too bad for Mr. B.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:50 AM
Yeah! Beat apostropher by this || much!
I still got it baby!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:51 AM
In the room the women come and go
Stretching out cocks like pizza dough
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:52 AM
Look at us, bp, vying for your attention. Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:55 AM
I grow old, I grow old,
I shall leave my cock unrolled.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:55 AM
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:57 AM
Do not ask "How big is it?"
Let it go, and make it's visit
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:57 AM
oops, I need to borrow the macro BW owes w/d.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 8:59 AM
I have measured out my cock with coffee spoons
I know the hard-ons dying with dying fall
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:02 AM
I think we're in danger of lily-gilding. The poem is already shot through with the cock joke nature.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:05 AM
Although I'd like to see FL in the same room as my cousin Chris
LB's casting for the Giantish retelling of Brokeback Mountain. Cool!
(I note for the record that I am coming to believe that much of baa's reputation for decisiveness is based on his promiscuous use of exclamation points. It works!)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:05 AM
Yeah, I read these lines and I was like, damn, not much to change there:
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:06 AM
The poem is already shot through with the cock joke nature.
See, for instance, 240.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:08 AM
And see, for instance:
"Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?"
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:09 AM
From "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cocks":
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:11 AM
Today, on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, we visit the latest wilderness, the blog comment arena.
Limited to the typed word, the modern male still makes every effort to impress the female with his prowess and desirability. As their ancestors have done since time began, the males vie for attention while circling, circling, keeping one eye on the female and one eye on each other.
Look - the contest has attracted a third! And now another female joins the group! Performing what is perhaps the most important task of their lives, the courtship dancers strut and sway, thrust and parry, compelled by instinct to perform actions and tasks they may not even fully understand.
Thus life is born anew, a new hope, a new beginning for this ancient species.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:13 AM
much of baa's reputation for decisiveness is based on his promiscuous use of exclamation points
That, and his comments are thoughtful and clearly writ. Also.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:14 AM
But you know, there's fun in making the already obvious even more protruberant. IYKWIM.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 12-15-05 9:14 AM
D'oh! "Electra, Demeter" should have been switched out for "or Ari, for starters".
Posted by