Re: Brokeback

1

Oh, like anyone cares about a new thread now.

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But, hot gay sex! Come on, Unfogged!

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3

Oh, surely we can find something to discuss in the fact that the first thing Ogged thinks about after his big announcement is Brokeback Mountain.

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And that he wrote "I think it turned me gay." But we've already established that I don't read the posts.

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Not to mention "I think it turned me gay".

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Ha ha!

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7

It won a bunch of awards at the Golden Globes—practically stole the show. George Clooney won for Syriana. He thanked Jack Abramoff and wondered why anyone would name their kid Jack when "off" was in the last name.

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8

You liked Heath because he was gay but not gay?

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9

Is emotional weightiness gay?

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10

I meant, manly although gay.

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11

I liked the performance; I haven't thought much about how much I like the character.

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I kept going back and forth between "he's flawed but good-hearted" and "he's a dick to his family, but with a few redeeming qualities" (for Heath Ledger's character). Haven't yet settled on one, though I'm leaning toward the more sympathetic view.

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13

My mom thought it was a pretty movie, and pretty boring as well.

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14

baZING!!

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Man, I would have thought that "ogged has sex" would have be a thousand-comment thread, easy. I suppose there's still time.

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16

have in its second appearance, only.

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17

Did the love scenes make your skin crawl?

I think it turned me gay, because mainly what I was thinking was, "damn, their jackets look so good and so warm."

Oh, shit. At the beginning of winter, I got some good, warm jackets from L.L. Bean, and I like them a lot. I must be gay, too!

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18

I'm confused (as usual). When ogged said he reset his Tivo a while back, that was code for "I got laid"?

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19

Yes.

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20

Had he not gotten laid sometime in the recent or distant (but not too distant) past, today would have been the 705th day since his last getting laid.

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21

Had he not gotten laid sometime in the recent or distant (but not too distant) past, today would have been the 705th day since his last getting laid.

Are you so confident that the occasion of his shower with Profgrrrl did not involve that sort of thing?

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22

Personally kind of glad ogged's first response upon resetting the TiVo was not to tell the whole Internet.

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23

Did anyone else notice points where the dialog was really hard to hear? It seemed to me like there was a lot of mumbling and whispering, which was kind of integral to the story but occasionally made it difficult to get. Or it may have just been the PA system in the theater where I watched it.

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24

Did the movie have anything about underage sheep? Because that's the real story, you know.

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What is the age of consent for sheep, anyway?

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According to Word Freak, "tup" means "to copulate with a ewe," but despite some initial confusion, it only applies to rams.

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Probably about 2 1/2 or 3 years, same as a dog.

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28

Title for a epic historical novel about America in the 20th-C.: The Age of Consent.

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brings new meaning to tupperware

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28: done

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31

Shoulda checked first. Oh well, at least I didn't devote 5 years to writing it, only to find out at the end that it had been done already. The magic of the internets!

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26: unlike " schtup", which is equal opportunity.

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I didn't know she swung that way.

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31: You can't copyright a title. For example, there are about a dozen books named "Peace Like a River". So go ahead.

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35

John,

Did the movie have anything about underage sheep? Because that's the real story, you know.

Are you sure? I'm pretty sure there was something in the news about horses just before Christmas. That might be the real story.

I'm leaning towards not seeing the movie, even though I have no doubt it is excellent, but I'm suspecting that it is, of all things, a chick-flick. By that I mean a lot of talk and a lot of screen time spent on 'relationships.'

Personally I watch Westerns for the gorgeous western scenery and sometimes for the righteous anger and retribution.

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Tripp -- did you catch Travis and Jonathan's review, linked a few days back by... not sure now -- on of the regulars... The scenery in Brokeback is breathtaking and by itself just about worth the price of ticket + 2 hours of your time. Not so much screen time spent on talking about relationships, like roughly zero. Lots of anger though not much retribution.

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Re: 23 i spent most of the movie leaning over and asking "Ledger said what?"

Also: points to my friend for going up to the ticket window and accidentally saying "Two for Bareback Mountain, please," and not realizing it.

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I'm wondering now where you would have got the idea that there's a lot of screen time spent talking about relationships -- that is about as far as you could possibly get from the actual nature of the film. Did someone tell you that?

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"Ledger said what?"

Because I am five years old, that amuses me more than it should.

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Yeah, they're gays, but they're not sensitive gays, so they're OK.

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linked a few days back by... not sure now -- on of the regulars...

By me!

And it is funnier than funny. Also recommended: the episode on bird flu. "A goose don't give a fuck!"

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42

According to Word Freak, "tup" means "to copulate with a ewe,"

"Fuck ewe," in other words?

I'm suspecting that it is, of all things, a chick-flick.

At the Golden Globe Awards last night, Dennis Quaid said that the genre to which Brokeback Mountain (I typed "Bareback Mountain" before correcting it) belongs "rhymes with 'chick flick.'" The audience was dead silent.

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Yeah, and ever quick on the uptake, it took about three minutes before it dawned on me what he was inferring.

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Not very polite at all to call Wyomingans hicks.

"Inferring"? Apostropher, you have unleashed the fucking fury.

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it took about three minutes before it dawned on me what he was inferring

Please enlighten the slower-witted among us. (Among which cohort I number myself.)

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"Inferring"

Eek. Implying.

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(three minutes later:) Oh, "dick flick"? Huh.

An off-topic by the by: some Unfogged commenters (you know who you are) might appreciate an anecdote from yesterday's visit to the zoo. It has monkeys and rejection.

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Funny story, JO -- certainly reminiscent of some human male-female interactions.

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49

Damn, sorry -- I was not meaning to kill discussion of excellent film "Brokeback Mountain" -- my monkey anecdote would have been better placed on the "Year of Yes" thread anyways. Come back, everybody! Talk about the gay cowboy movie!

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50

I was just reading some criticism of Brokeback, which I don't agree with, exactly, but which may be the flip side of my own thought about the movie. (My thought being that they are more passionate for having obstacles.)

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50: Glancing quickly, I read the last sentence in that comment as "My thought being that they are more passionate for having tentacles."

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52

That was an earlier version of Brokeback, based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft.

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53

Osner, I think you're thinking of Invertebrate Trench

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54

based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft

Also, the leads were female.

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The posters were going to go up all over the country: "They were more passionate for having tentacles: Invertebrate Trench"

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56

Nobody told me this is a chick flick. Where did I get the idea? I don't really know. The trailers showed the guys kinda mooning over each other but I must admit it was done in silence.

I think I made the leap from 'love story' to 'relationship talk.' Is it not primarily a love story?

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57

Is it not primarily a love story?

It is.

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58

It is.

Ah. Well, I'm not so big on love stories, either, unless there is some, to be crass, skin. Female skin. So I'll probably see it with my wife (to earn good-guy points) or not at all.

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59

"My thought being that they are more passionate for having tentacles."

Octupi are incredible, albeit

indiscriminate, lovers.

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58: I haven't seen it, but from reviews there's more female nudity than male.

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61

58 -- LB has it right. There is plenty of T & A if you like that stuff.

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There is plenty of T & A if you like that stuff.

You mean you don't?! Now I definitely have to go see it this weekend.

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Oh sure I do. Just responding to Tripp's opinion that that stuff is the only worthwhile attribute of a love story.

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64

Frederick, what he meant was, if you don't, they screen a version without the nudity.

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Now, Jeremy, I expressed a personal opinion. I'm not trying to speak in any absolute terms.

I said I'm not so big on love story movies, not that there are no other worthwhile attributes of a love story movie.

But now that I think about it there is not really much drama to a love story is there? Unless there is tragedy of some kind. Then either the tragedy occurs in the middle and love conquers all or it occurs at the end and it the movie is a tragedy.

Neither of those story arcs appeal much to me anymore.

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66

So what you're looking for is a tragedy in the first scene, out of which springs, phoenix-like, love?

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67

Or a car chase.

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68

Yeah, except usually the beginning is some initial eye-catching scene followed by exposition. So I suppose you could have Joe Blow lose his legs in a car accident (about five minutes, multiple edits, loud sound track) and then you could flash back to his life as a pro quarterback and dabbling with fast women and shallow pleasures and then back to the present where his current wife (good looking but not flashy) nurses him through his despondency until he, I dunno, helps homeless kids. True love conquers all.

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67 -- a car chase would fit in well with a stalking type love story. Her efforts to avoid him culminate in a high-speed chase through the streets of London.

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I'd pay to see THAT movie. If there were good football scenes and then, you know, some nudity.

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He loses his legs playing touch football on the beach at the nudist camp when he steps on a long-forgotten landmine after running a hook route.

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afterwhich he joins the secretive illegal fight-to-the-death circuit, utilizing his titanium legs to pull of fantastic slow-motion bicycle kicks, and falls in love.

His lover dies, and he must chase the killer through the streets of San Francisco. On his super-fast titanium legs.

Then they learn about loss, passion, forgiveness, life.

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Then he helps the homeless kids. But they aren't kids at all, rather neo-de gaullist spies.

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69 -- As her 2002 Lamborghini Mucielago careens against Buckingham Palace, flips over, and as she vaults clear of the wreckage (which then explodes) and lands on her feet, she realizes at last that his love is true. He swerves around the corner in his Porsche 911 Turbo and skids sideways to a halt just inches from where she is standing, leaps out, and they embrace as the credits scroll.

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75

Octopus porn?

Octopus porn

http://www.idiocentrism.com/hokusai.jpg

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Or is what credits do "roll"?

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Or how about a succession of increasingly unsuccessful love stories showing the whole range of things that can go wrong, ending with the guy's cat moving in with a total stranger.

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Or is what credits do "roll"?

Yes.

JE, I already linked to a Pharangula piece that links to that (and more!) octoporn.

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Or is what credits do "roll"?

The "sc" is silent.

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80

is this the film about the two cowboy pooves?

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Yes.

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Be it recorded that the second sentence of 61 is a biscuit conditional.

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A gay cowboy biscuit conditional, no less.

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Is it really a biscuit conditional if people diagree on what counts as "plenty"?

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disagree

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Yes, it's a biscuit conditional because the consequent is understood to be true irrespective of the truth of the antecedent, and the antecedent expresses the condition on the hearer's caring about the truth of the consequent.

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Matt -- I think "if" used as I did in 61 is better expressed as "in case", right?

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They're pretty much synonymous here, but that's a well established use of 'if'. I don't know if other languages use 'if' the same way, though I suspect they do.

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You know what gets me? Here we are, practically giving away absolutely GREAT movie ideas to Joe Drymala and he still hasn't written them!

I know he has talent. I've offered some truly great catch phrases (weakly soupy) and you've all contributed dialogue and truly great character ideas.

So what is the problem here?

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Generally speaking a 'case' statement is better than an 'if' statement if there are four or more cases. Not all languages support case statements, though.

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Overuse of 'case' statements (or as I like to call them, 'switch' statements) can lead to sloppy code. Not that you didn't know that.

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I'm working on a pilot called BISCUIT CONDITIONAL right now.

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A murder mystery?

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If you like.

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A murder mystery?

The full subtitle is, "A murder mystery, if that's your thing."

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96

FUCK

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96.

Ummm, maybe that title would work in NY but I have to tell you here in the midwest "Urinetown" was probably as far as we'd go.

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FUCK, If That's Your Thing.

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99

gee, it took a cowboy western to prove that ogged..

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100

...is teh gay

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101

I know you've been away for a while, snees, so heads up: new plan at Unfogged is to tell me how great I am.

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102

yeah, you're the greatest, ogged. and i mean that with all my heart.

but why are we supposed to be telling you how great you are? and here i was thinking that your whole schtick was being the uber-dork. am i wrong about that? if so, i'll call off the gang of 9-year-olds i hired.

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103

Snees, you know that ogged (by his account) has recently scored? It's Opposite Day from here on out.

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101, 103: Ogged is the greatest.

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That's what I meant to say.

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106

me.

In fact, the spambot is the hero.

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107

the spambot is getting smart. Either that or the new generation of the commentariat has arrived, and it's even less coherent than the old generation.

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108

What's up with the sudden permeability of the blacklist, Ogged?

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109

Eventually the spambot will learn to comment on topic, and retain a single non-erection-or-gambling related handle. Then, once we're suckere in: spam, all day, all night.

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110

There is another theory that this has already happened.

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Unified Spam Theory!

Seriously, though, earlier in the day I followed a spambot's comment to an old Unfogged post, found a link to a 2003 Antic Muse post, and, in a grim act of procrastination, actually waded through the archeology of comment spam. At one advanced stage, "Breast Enhancement" and "Penis Pills" were making semi-coherent arguments about the sorrows of randomly organized organisms.

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