The joke is about trying to get out of jury duty, and as Silverman told it, a friend suggested to her, "Why don't you write something inappropriate on the form, like 'I hate chinks'?" But she says she did not want to be thought a racist, so instead, "I just filled out the form and I wrote, 'I love chinks' -- and who doesn't?"
Just mutter in Arabic, and if asked any question, follow up your answer with "inshallah" ("can you take time off work?" "yes, i should be able to do that, inshallah").
DR. B, I thought that you were supposed to be off working on a paper or something. Are you hiding out in another blog's comments. question mark still broken, and I'm not going to cut and paste it, since the letter 'p' is already in my clipboard.
Been away a while doing vacationy-family-worky type stuff. Just dropping in to noe:
A) Wiener, I'll get the $10 off to IRC this week. My team sucks.
B) I see, many threads below, that Bitch is gonna be in town this week. If anyone who reads these comments and knows how to get hold of her would let her know that I'll shoot her an e-mail with my phone # tonight, that'd be swell.
#10: Well, I was up until about 7 am this morning; slept 'til noon-thirty, hung out with the boyfriend until he toddled off to work at 3, am now taking care of work-related email bullshit and calling locals for get-togethers later this week (Chopper, I'm messaging you), and YES I NEED TO GET SOME WRITING DONE TODAY as well as going to the bookstore. Then there's that pesky shower & dress issue. The boyfriend just messaged to say he's heading to St. Paul to pick up a check so whaddya think, will I get it all done before he gets home?
Chopper, you shouldn't feel too bad about the Vikings--they did finish over .500 with their star quarterback first contracting a mysterious case of suckitis and then going down for the season, not to mention other problems. I wouldn't be surprised if they're very good next year.
Hmm, I should have gotten in on that action. But then, deciding who won between the Steelers and the Panthers would have been difficult:
Both tied for the lead in their division at 11-5, both losing the tiebreaker. Both 5-3 at home and 6-2 on the road. Season points for/against: Pittsburgh 389-258, Carolina 391-259.
And I don't feel too bad about the Vikes, as the 1-2 record for the final 3 games gave the owner the stones to fire the coach. There's some rumor that we'll be trying to get one of your coordinators.
Bitch, I'll be home in an hour or so and will e-mail/AIM you then--no access to personal stuff behind the company firewall.
#25: Awesome re. papers and degree course; glad to have helped her w/ the decision.
#28: Sounds good. I may or may not be able to get back to you tonight--am about to log off for the day and am on pesky dialup connection--but I will call tomorrow in any case. As of this minute, I think we have tentative dinner plans tomorrow, fixed dinner plans involving a standing date with a very important 9-year old on Friday, and are otherwise open with a possibility of getting together with John Emerson over the weekend for a 3some.
John, sorry I forgot about the dinner plans on Friday night; am hopeful that we can work around that. My bad.
I've been called for jury duty thrice. Two times I sat in the room with the other prospective jurors until sometime in the afternoon when they told us all to go home. The other time, I got voir dired and could have been picked, but one of the parties apparently exercised a peremptory challenge and got rid of me. (I'm a lawyer, so there's a high probability one side or the other won't want me.)
Yes, I do love the anywhere internet access (and Cingular's EDGE service is pretty fast), but mainly I'm happy that it came pre-installed with mobile Opera, which is so, so great. Just about any page is well rendered (no horizontal scrolling), and it supports javascript, and just works well.
I think I've come up with a perfect solution to all my problems. A rather thick envelope from my ex has just arrived. It is almost guaranteed to make me cry, so I'll just wait until half an hour before I get into voir dire tomorrow, and then, BLAM! Only two more days of mandatory sitting-around to go.
Best way to avoid jury duty is to shoot someone on the way there. Never fails.
Posted by argle | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 1:17 PM
Or you could pull a Silverman:
The joke is about trying to get out of jury duty, and as Silverman told it, a friend suggested to her, "Why don't you write something inappropriate on the form, like 'I hate chinks'?" But she says she did not want to be thought a racist, so instead, "I just filled out the form and I wrote, 'I love chinks' -- and who doesn't?"
Posted by Moira | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 1:31 PM
We'll see if I get selected...
That ellipsis adds a certain...
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 1:43 PM
Just mutter in Arabic, and if asked any question, follow up your answer with "inshallah" ("can you take time off work?" "yes, i should be able to do that, inshallah").
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 1:55 PM
Now, SB, you know this community has strictly forbidden the use of...
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 1:58 PM
Just wet yourself. It works every time.
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:09 PM
But Joe, that's not what you said the last time we...
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:15 PM
That's only because you distracted me while you were taking off your...
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:17 PM
...?
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:19 PM
DR. B, I thought that you were supposed to be off working on a paper or something. Are you hiding out in another blog's comments. question mark still broken, and I'm not going to cut and paste it, since the letter 'p' is already in my clipboard.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:20 PM
Holy crap, Austro's back from the...
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:20 PM
lurker's purgatory?
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:21 PM
Excuse me while I polish my...
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:22 PM
Comments at Unfogged are frequently elliptical, but really, folks...
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:25 PM
My new teddy bear makes me feel all...
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:38 PM
crap, they're holding us in the...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:49 PM
"in the..." or "by the..."?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:49 PM
Hi all...
Been away a while doing vacationy-family-worky type stuff. Just dropping in to noe:
A) Wiener, I'll get the $10 off to IRC this week. My team sucks.
B) I see, many threads below, that Bitch is gonna be in town this week. If anyone who reads these comments and knows how to get hold of her would let her know that I'll shoot her an e-mail with my phone # tonight, that'd be swell.
C) Austro! How's it hangin'?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:50 PM
note. dammit.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:51 PM
Re: 15
Damn, apo, that's really, really...
I wonder, is that one of the bears from the Charmin commercials?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 2:52 PM
Chopper, thanks for asking.
Lets just say I NEVER want to see Warsaw again. I'd appreciate more time to "waste" too.
Maybe this year will be different...
(Happy new year to you all, too.)
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:00 PM
#10: Well, I was up until about 7 am this morning; slept 'til noon-thirty, hung out with the boyfriend until he toddled off to work at 3, am now taking care of work-related email bullshit and calling locals for get-togethers later this week (Chopper, I'm messaging you), and YES I NEED TO GET SOME WRITING DONE TODAY as well as going to the bookstore. Then there's that pesky shower & dress issue. The boyfriend just messaged to say he's heading to St. Paul to pick up a check so whaddya think, will I get it all done before he gets home?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:08 PM
Chopper, you shouldn't feel too bad about the Vikings--they did finish over .500 with their star quarterback first contracting a mysterious case of suckitis and then going down for the season, not to mention other problems. I wouldn't be surprised if they're very good next year.
That said, boo-yah! (Also, $20.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:08 PM
Oh, and Austro, hi, long time no see!
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:09 PM
hi B!
You have no idea how glad I am that it got soppy round here :) and yes I know it is old hat.
By the way. Those papers you sent over in the summer helped convince Mrs Austro to do the degree course.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:16 PM
noon-thirty
*swoon*
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:28 PM
That said, boo-yah!
Hmm, I should have gotten in on that action. But then, deciding who won between the Steelers and the Panthers would have been difficult:
Both tied for the lead in their division at 11-5, both losing the tiebreaker. Both 5-3 at home and 6-2 on the road. Season points for/against: Pittsburgh 389-258, Carolina 391-259.
Weird.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:34 PM
$20 it is. My bad.
And I don't feel too bad about the Vikes, as the 1-2 record for the final 3 games gave the owner the stones to fire the coach. There's some rumor that we'll be trying to get one of your coordinators.
Bitch, I'll be home in an hour or so and will e-mail/AIM you then--no access to personal stuff behind the company firewall.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:44 PM
(1) Isn't an ellipsis supposed to include four dots if it's at the end of a sentence?
(2) Any insight into whether Tampa has any hope in the playoffs?
(3) Austro, welcome back: and did you skip a grade in school?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:52 PM
Dude. They have net accessing PCs in the jury waiting room. (In use now, but, dude.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:54 PM
Any insight into whether Tampa has any hope in the playoffs?
Sure, I gots insight! The answer is no.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:55 PM
slolernr, yes actually i did: two. Sometimes I think those were the ones in which spelling and grammar were taught.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 3:56 PM
The answer is no.
I suspected that, but I haven't seen them play this year and they somehow compiled an impressive record so I was puzzled.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:01 PM
yes actually i did: two.
I think we've got something like a granfalloon-delimiter here.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:03 PM
They have net accessing PCs in the jury waiting room.
And I'm not allowed to bring my cellphone to the courthouse!?! WTF?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:06 PM
Now being chatted up by a kindly-seeming gay dude. Walks by, smiles; walks by, smiles, "Isn't this fun?" Then his phone rang.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:06 PM
#25: Awesome re. papers and degree course; glad to have helped her w/ the decision.
#28: Sounds good. I may or may not be able to get back to you tonight--am about to log off for the day and am on pesky dialup connection--but I will call tomorrow in any case. As of this minute, I think we have tentative dinner plans tomorrow, fixed dinner plans involving a standing date with a very important 9-year old on Friday, and are otherwise open with a possibility of getting together with John Emerson over the weekend for a 3some.
John, sorry I forgot about the dinner plans on Friday night; am hopeful that we can work around that. My bad.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:06 PM
Freaky, ogged. Is that what you're using now? Or are you using yoru HP rutting thing?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:07 PM
#26: Interesting the verbal tics that make people swoon. I'll have to add "noon-thirty" to "dealio" as sure-fire hits.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:09 PM
I could take or leave "dealio", but I do feel a kinship with other users of "noon-thirty".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:13 PM
Ech. I'm free tonight through Thursday. My family is coming to town Friday for our Christmas get-together. Bummer not being able to catch Emerson.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:13 PM
Actually, fuck it.
My cell number is [redacted!]. (ogged, kindly delete or edit in a few hours, if you'd be so kind.)
If I get any panty-smacky-slurpy calls--I'm looking at you Wolfson--I will be entertained.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:15 PM
BP, I'll visit my old friend on Fri, if that works, and see you on Sat. Otherwise I'll postpone the whole trip until Sat.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:17 PM
granfalloon-delimiter
I skipped no grades. I did place into the accelerated comments, though.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:17 PM
You've had callers who smacked their panties?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:22 PM
Not yet.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:24 PM
i reckon your #'s safer here than some places....
http://themaddater.blogspot.com/2004/09/sometimes-ya-just-gotta-hang-up.html
Posted by matty | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 4:39 PM
Like Standpipe, I skipped no grades.
But I did skip the PhD part of grad school.
(Maybe "choose not to apply to" is more accurate than "skip" in the latter case.)
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 5:22 PM
I've been called for jury duty thrice. Two times I sat in the room with the other prospective jurors until sometime in the afternoon when they told us all to go home. The other time, I got voir dired and could have been picked, but one of the parties apparently exercised a peremptory challenge and got rid of me. (I'm a lawyer, so there's a high probability one side or the other won't want me.)
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 5:34 PM
What's so great about your phone, again?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 6:47 PM
The magic internet connectivity abilities it has?
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 7:07 PM
Kind of superfluous though, given that -gg-d's courthouse has built-in connectivity.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 7:27 PM
Well, he did say that all the computers were being used. No standing in line for him!
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 7:57 PM
Yes, I do love the anywhere internet access (and Cingular's EDGE service is pretty fast), but mainly I'm happy that it came pre-installed with mobile Opera, which is so, so great. Just about any page is well rendered (no horizontal scrolling), and it supports javascript, and just works well.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 9:05 PM
The only downside is having to clean up after yourself each time you use it.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 9:18 PM
It does that too.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 3-06 9:20 PM
I think I've come up with a perfect solution to all my problems. A rather thick envelope from my ex has just arrived. It is almost guaranteed to make me cry, so I'll just wait until half an hour before I get into voir dire tomorrow, and then, BLAM! Only two more days of mandatory sitting-around to go.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 4-06 3:01 PM