Now you need a term to describe these codgers merrily bantering away about how much they hate their trophy wives. I would suggest "auld cunts", but I am sure that some fucking pansy is going to object that it is sexist or something.
Then said the GAY SEX, Doest thou well to be angry? So Jonah went out of the city, and sat on the east side of the city, and there made him a booth, and sat under it in the shadow, till he might see what would become of the city.
And the LORD GAY SEX prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd.
But GAY SEX prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered.
And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that GAY SEX prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.
And GAY SEX said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.
Then said the GAY SEX, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night: And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more then sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?
This exchange was followed by gay sex?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:28 PM
At the pool, young Michael, every exchange is followed by gay sex.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:30 PM
So "ATP" means pretty much the same thing as "ATM"?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:37 PM
Good to know (I hate being unsure of proper etiquette). Also, I might add that "Syog" and "Fyog" would be cool names for a couple of Nordic brothers.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:45 PM
Spelled "Sjog" and "Fjog", surely.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:51 PM
At the pool, young Michael, every exchange is followed by gay sex.
A woman and a man at the pool banter wittily for a spell. No one else is present. What follows?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:54 PM
The winner of the banter uses the spell to destroy the loser?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:55 PM
gay sex. See, not that difficult.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:56 PM
No, they use the spell to change teh sex of the other.
Joe, it's best not to consider my opinion on spelling matters.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:57 PM
This reified gay sex lurks at the pool, and whips itself out when the occasion demands?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:58 PM
A woman and a man at the pool banter wittily for a spell. No one else is present. What follows?
The woman is revealed to be a fa'afafine.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 2:58 PM
fa'afafine.
The sounds of someone with a stutter paying an attractive person a compliment.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:00 PM
Of course, what people mean is
gaysex, during which all fluids must be gently dabbed away within five seconds of their issue.Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:01 PM
Phooey on 12, what a wasted opportunity. Do-over!
The woman is revealed to be a fa'afafine.
And the man finds her ho'ototott.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:06 PM
ho'ototott
This term is so racist.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:07 PM
Was Ogged listening to this while knitting?
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:07 PM
at the pool gay sex is everywhere and all the time, and it only needs that an exchange occur in order that the gay sex appear.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:08 PM
Sex need not necessarily follow. Was the woman a Swede?
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:10 PM
that is to say, in Standpipe's scenario, there was in fact a man behind the man and a woman beneath the woman. So it was and so it shall always be.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:10 PM
ogged is left just standing there, of course.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:11 PM
A woman and a man at the pool banter wittily for a spell. No one else is present. What follows?
A new post by ogged, in which he belatedly ponders the question of whether or not she was hitting on him.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:11 PM
at the pool gay sex is everywhere and all the time
Just like God. "Where two or more are gathered at my pool, there am I in the midst of them."
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:14 PM
if you substitute "gay sex" for "god" a lot makes sense.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:15 PM
now I go to hell. crap.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:16 PM
In the beginning was the word. And the word was "gay sex" and the word was in "gay sex."
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:17 PM
Hast thou done "it", "it" thou didst?
Hast thou done "it" in their midst?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:17 PM
Just like God. "Where two or more are gathered at my pool, there am I in the midst of them."
God? Or Standpipe Bridgeplate?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:18 PM
Noodly fucking appendage!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:19 PM
I've got one of those.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:22 PM
My gay sex! My gay sex! Why hast thou forsaken me?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:24 PM
It was a covenant with the gay sex that led to circumcision.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:27 PM
And then Gay Sex divided the waters above the pool from the waters of the pool.
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:30 PM
Thou shalt worship no other gay sex: for the lord, whose name is gay sex, is a jealous gay sex.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:31 PM
What we are is gay sex's gift to us. What we become is our gift to gay sex.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:32 PM
Oh, ac, so good.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:33 PM
And then Gay Sex divided the waters above the pool
We've covered this already.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:33 PM
Gay sex of thunder and rock and roll
The spell you're under
Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:36 PM
The rainbow is a symbol of gay sex's promise.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:39 PM
38: Victory!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 3:39 PM
When you saw only one set of wet footprints beside the pool, that was when you were riding me.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:08 PM
40: There is something just wrong with you, and I mean that in the most complimentary of ways.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:13 PM
ogged:
The conversations you overhear or take part in are often so perfect that I wonder where, precisely, they occurred....
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:14 PM
Suddenly, I understand why women can't be priests.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:14 PM
I wonder where, precisely, they occurred
Just have to keep those ears open. Actually, it's been a long while since I've had a good story like this.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:33 PM
Thanks LB. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I've heard that one before.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:35 PM
Shouldn't we be writing it as "G-y S-x"? After all, God is Love (that dare not speak its name).
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:39 PM
SCMT: Often Tom Friedman is there too.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 4:40 PM
Tia, that was hilarious.
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 5:12 PM
Now you need a term to describe these codgers merrily bantering away about how much they hate their trophy wives. I would suggest "auld cunts", but I am sure that some fucking pansy is going to object that it is sexist or something.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 5:56 PM
Gay sex, won't you buy me a night on the town?
I directed my browser to unfoyged.com and this site came up.
Posted by JDC | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 6:31 PM
We are all sinners in the hands of an angry gay sex.
ATM.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 7:26 PM
There is no gay sex but teh gay sex
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 7:42 PM
cleanliness is next to gay sex.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 7:58 PM
In-a-gaysexa-da-vida, baby.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:07 PM
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:12 PM
From the Book of Jonah:
Then said the GAY SEX, Doest thou well to be angry? So Jonah went out of the city, and sat on the east side of the city, and there made him a booth, and sat under it in the shadow, till he might see what would become of the city.
And the LORD GAY SEX prepared a gourd, and made it to come up over Jonah, that it might be a shadow over his head, to deliver him from his grief. So Jonah was exceeding glad of the gourd.
But GAY SEX prepared a worm when the morning rose the next day, and it smote the gourd that it withered.
And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that GAY SEX prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.
And GAY SEX said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.
Then said the GAY SEX, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night: And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more then sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:30 PM
"cattle" s/b "sheep"
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:32 PM
"And also much cattle" always struck me as anticlimactic anyway. It's like he's going to say, "Of course! THE CATTLE!"
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:33 PM
God was making a funny. Kind of like "the aristocrats." Jonah is all about that.
I mean, the gay sex.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:34 PM
cattle should be sheep
Hey! Some of my best friends are cattle!
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:36 PM
I never understood the gourd and worm part until now.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:37 PM
This totally changes my understanding of James Brown.
"Ain't it funky now? Good gay sex!"
Posted by JDC | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 8:37 PM
There's something to be said for pretty women.
Posted by Mr. B | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 11:01 PM
Nothing good.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01- 9-06 11:02 PM
Pretty women are okay, but beautiful women are da bomb.
And it takes quite a lot to make a woman 'not beautiful.'
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 10:21 AM
And it takes quite a lot to make a woman 'not beautiful.'
Eh, it pretty much just takes chewing with her mouth open while in my range of vision.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 10:27 AM
Yeah, I see what you mean, but I think you know what I meant.
To me beauty is not so much about looks as it is about character and to some extent demeanor.
To me, pretty is what you see but beauty is what you are, which I know doesn't jibe with 'beauty is only skin deep' but there you go.
Bitterness, while frequently understandable, is not beautiful. Cruelty is ugly.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 11:47 AM
Oh, and chewing with the mouth open is bovine, which only Britney Spears and Hera can pull off, and Britney not so much anymore.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 11:48 AM