Re: Silent Kid, Talk About Your Family/Your Sister's Cursed, Your Father's Roaming Damned Now

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clearly you need to think more like the CIA. keep the old blog as cover, since your family has already found it, and keep updating it with dummy entries so they don't start looking for the new one. baby pictures work well. people seem to lose braincells looking at baby pictures. if you don't have a baby, take pictures of somebody else's. a rotating series of stranger babies photoblog. and then keep the new blog top-secret.

am glad you are finding guidance in pavement lyrics.

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I'm sorry about this, Al. (mmf!, don't worry, she's doing all of that.)

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Err on the side of obfuscation, friends...

In must be nice to know that Ala' considers you a friend, Wolfson. My sympathies, Alameida.

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For Weiner:

Here We Go

Cheer the Steelers

The Black and the Gold

Here We Go

The town of Pittsburgh's

Heart and soul

Here We Go

With Cowher power

We'll get the job done

This is the year we'll

get that one for the thumb.

Here We Go

Here We Go

Here We Go, Steelers

Here We Go

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl

Here We Go

Roethlisberger is ready to throw

Here We Go

To Ward, Randle El and Plaxico

Here We Go

Go to Bettis when we need a touchdown

And if you get in his way

He's gonna knock ya around.

Here We Go

Here We Go

Here We Go, Steelers

Here We Go

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl

Here We Go

Now the offense is ready to score

Here We Go

And there's one thing we know for sure

Here We Go

If we don't get it in the end zone

We'll get 3 points off of Jeff Reed's toe.

Here We Go

Here We Go

Here We Go, Steelers

Here We Go

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl

Here We Go

We've got Porter, Bell and Haggans.

Here We Go

Polamalu, Scott and Townsend

Here We Go

The other team won't gain any ground

Because the defense is gonna bring

the steel curtain down.

Here We Go

Defense, Defense, Defense

Here We GO

Defense, Defense, Defense

Here We Go, Steelers

Here We Go

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl

Here We Go

Here We Go

Here We Go, Steelers

Here We Go

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Superbowl

Here We Go!

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And, Miss Alameida, we will be your Secretkeepers of your identity as Anonymous Girl! (Super powers: invisibility, power of the demons of Typepad, flying.*)

*What's the point of being a superhero if you can't fly?

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Denver by seven. Carolina by ten.

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I'm sorry, SCMTim, your transmission's breaking up; I thought I heard you type 'Denver sucks.'

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PANTHERS!!1!

However, the fact that Peppers hasn't practiced all week gives me a bad feeling.

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I don't know if any Unfoggeders are from Seattle, and I suspect Gary doesn't care about football, so no prospects for a good rumble.

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Is Terry Bradshaw still quarterback for the Steelers? He's darn good.

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I think I'm rooting for Pittsburgh for the sole reason that I thought the city was charming when I visited, and I can't stand the thought of the sad puppy-dog eyes of the people in the city who have plastered images of Big Ben on every available surface.

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When did this become about football? I'm not having ogged banning me from this thread on sports-related grounds, you hear me?

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Don't worry, Matt, I'm here. Go Broncos!

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I want Denver to win (I've come to hate Sgt. Slaughter), but I feel really bad for rooting against Bettis.

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Wouldn't the post he responded to have been safer here? When I saw his response I thought at first that it was a practical joke. And your mom's too.

Everyone has difficulty's living up to their parents' standards, you know. Not just you.

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My policy on team planes going down remains firm, BTW. It won't happen today, but maybe tomorrow.

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I'd rumble you, Matt, except that I don't give a crap about football either.

Alameida, just hope that your stepdad doesn't decide to try to sue you. Has-sle. In the meantime, my advice is: lie. Post fictional bullshit about identifying details to muddy the water. Like, you know, start blogging about your upcoming sex-change operation.

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doesn't decide to try to sue you

how did that all work out in the end, anyway?

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I am never posting on this blog again.

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Honestly, I shouldn't have brought it up in a public forum. Feel free to email me, though.

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sorry, i shouldn't have asked.

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No, my fault for introducing the subject.

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Un-fucking-believable. Cala, write that I'm going to win the big prize in the lottery.

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Roethlisberger is really slicing them up.

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Roethlisberger & Gardocki, in tandem.

Also: I thought Peppers did end up practicing this week? No matter. Steve Smith --> sufficient condition for a win.

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Yeah, he practiced on Friday, but if he's not going at 100%, that's a big blow.

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I dunno... what'd Joe Buck say last week? "Hello, my name is Julius Peppers, I am a freakish athlete..."

J.P. at 80% would be almost as good. Anyway, I maintain my prevous assertion: Delhomme to Smith, sufficient condition for a win.

But this is all so pointless, until they play the game! G0 Pant3hrs!!1!

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shouldn't it be go P4nth0rz?

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YMMV. It's the thought that counts.

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Since this is now an all-sports-all-the-time-thread...

Damn, that Roethlisberger, he's not bad, hmm?

I sneeze, and I miss and 18yd completion.

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i'm more impressed by the pitt o-line, and underimpressed by the floating ducks that plummer keeps throwing up.

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I'm proud to report that PK said, when I went downstairs, "Mama, we're watching the Steelers and the Broncos play soccer!"

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re 31: it looks like rothlisberger has a day and a half back there to throw the ball. and that's when the broncos blitz.

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oops.

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Or the way plummer coughs up the ball when you ... sneak up on him from behind.

O-line play is always under-rated. You forget this until you watch a football game from ground level, and realize most quarterbacks can barely see over their lineman from the pocket. It's all about timing and passing lanes.

And yer right, Pittsburgh's got a good one.

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ok, props to budweiser for adding the zebra to the horse commercial.

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isn't that commercial like, 5 years old at this point?

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i think the idea behind it is. I hadn't seen that one yet, though.

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My favorite commercial of the playoffs so far: Don Cheadle copying Doug Williams with the ring-pointing-thing. "Works better with the ring."

G**dmn Adams. BUt! there you go with the interceptions again. Sweeeeeet. Sw3333333333t.

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O. M. G.!

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That's the Jake the Snake I know and love!

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This "native of Detroit" thing is getting old though.

When did this turn into Sunday Night Football? I don't care where these guys grew up...

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jake the snake... america's falling out of love with the 3/4 overhand release.

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I plan to withhold love from my children so that they become sports fans in order to have something to share with me. Good plan?

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Who the h*ll is David Woodley?

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sounds like an awesome plan, pjs

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Good plan?

Of course. Unless you hate America.

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The "Machine" ads make me hate America.

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wait, basketball is sponsoring football?!?!!!1!?

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and a_lurker, I agree. it's not even not funny enough to be funny again.

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Bronbron hates America.

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Goddamnit, jukes Taylor *twice*??

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The Bud ads which feature the dweebie guy who needs stunt equipment in order to do things like listen to his implausibly hot girlfriend are the most offensive I've ever seen.

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that might get the award for worst commercial on tv, ever.

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Yeah, artistically, those are on par with the "and Twins!!" ads.

On the other hand: liking the (older) cellphone ads, with the TLC song. Guys dancing in the office. Push it.

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wow... so at least plummer can avoid the sack.

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wait a tick... if the second penalty were after the play, shouldn't both be enforced?

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Yeah, who's over-rated in the Pittsburgh secondary?

*cough*IkeTaylor*cough*

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i think he is the lesser of the two hyper-overrated cbs in this game *cough cough*champ bailey*cough cough sneeze*

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Wait, I'm confused... what's the ordering here? Ike

Anyway, Bailey's 99yd interception last week was pretty hot. You gotta admit.

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Damnit, my things didn't come through... Um, I meant,

"Ike < Champ < Everyone else?"

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oh right... I think Bailey is a lot less good than people hype him to be. a lot less gooder than taylor, at least.

and yeah, the int last week was sweet, but i mean, he got run down!

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Right, clearly, he got run down. But that's part of what made it so great -- they still scored, and thus it was False Hope for the Pats fans.

Anyway, clearly Plummer and Bailey are the most over-rated of the Underrated Broncos.

Oh, I get it. 2 picks, 1 fumble... it's the Flu.

That's handy. If you're a QB, your PR strategy before any big game has to be ... "I've got the flu." If you fail, then you were sick. If you win, then you're Bret Favre. No harm either way.

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so i wonder how many stiller fans are getting palpitations right now.

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isn't the flu what bettis was moaning about too?

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None. They're all drunk.

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OTOH, the Peyton-autograph ad: Pure Genius.

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Bettis may have "had the flu," but he's also "old." Being Old is like The Flu That Keeps On Giving.

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Have you seen this breakdown of the Manning commercial?

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I haven't seen it, but I definitely know all the little things. ... yeah, it's the details in that ad, that make it Comedy Gold. The "my brother" line gets everyone, but I like the way he slaps that other guy on the ass. It's lal funny.

Hey, another fumble!

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wow... a three man rush killed em.

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Okey --- stillers are in.

Let's go, p4anth0rz!!

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game ova!

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Bring on the Seaturkeys.

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Unfortunately, one team had to win.

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Like it, or lump it.

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Peppers starts!

OTOH, Terry Bradshaw is a moron. These are not mutually exclusive states-of-affairs.

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Bradshaw wasn't QB today? Who replaced him?

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huh. so that's who won american idol last year. i hate cross-promotions.

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Haven't read comments but --

ho!!!!!11!!!

4 gets it exactly right, except we need to come up with a way for "Heath Miller" to scan and rhyme like "Plaxico."

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heathico milleress?

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Congratulations Matt! Your team plays like Alice Munro writes -- with precision and heart!

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Chiklis < Deacon.

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jake delhomme thinks football is finger lickin' good.

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Also, when did Seattle turn into College Station? 12th man flag? Do they all stand throughout the game? Dorks.

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And please don't stop commenting on this blog, Cala. That is, DON'T YOU DARE.

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'Sok, we're just letting them feel good for a bit.

Plummer has all of Hasselbeck's hair.

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Jake apparently has some large-scale gambling debts.

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Delhomme, doing his best Plummer Impression. #!?%@$#. argh.

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Also: I *loathe* Paul Allen.

This is gonna hurt.

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Jake apparently has some large-scale gambling debts.

This is exactly what I thought--it had to be deliberate. I don't really think so, but wow.

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That last interception was gonna be a no-look pass.

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Okay, a_lurker: it's time to come up with a pseudonym.

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I am now feeling physical pity for Apostropher.

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Is that like an invitation to join the club?

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... And the striped ones taketh away.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Wait, too soon! Sw33333333333333333333t.

Steve Smith, sufficient for victory.

Or at leats a competitive game.

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95: Fruit basket for arthegall!

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My joy at the fruit basket is only overshadowed by my sorrow over the long-sleeves of Ed Hochuli.

The p4nt3hrs don't seem to be mediocre so much, this quarter though. A ray of hope for NC-based commenters everywhere.

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so after the game, will delhomme say:

I want to be a good game, but I have to say we had some protection issues?

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Welcome, Arthegall! I have little status for welcoming you with, having received my own fruit basket only a half a year ago (or so), but welcome nonetheless!

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If it were actually possible for both teams to lose, certain fans, such as myself, would return to watching the game.

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Clearly, after the game, it will be revealed that Delhomme was suffering from "the flu."

Also, thank *you* Jackm. You guys/gals clearly run a classy operation round here. Any club that'd have me as a member, etc etc.

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And UNC is losing it's lead over FSU. This is a sad day for carolinian sports fans everywhere. mmmmmphg.

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Delhomme ain't Da Man, it seems.

Lame, sure, but this is football.

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I can't tell is Seattle is really good, or Carolina's defense sucks.

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Why can't it be both?

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See, Tim, in a game designed with the lose-lose possibility, we would know these things.

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Clearly this game wasn't designed -- it evolved.

There's too much useless cruft in the rules, terms and quirks that are relics of earlier, older, more primitive games embedded in its play and description, to look at a game of this complexity and assume it was designed.

The fallacy of Paley's Scrimmage.

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What I mean to say, of course, is that a game with all this complexity and (at the same time) the possibility of a double-loss, could never be designed.

And then all that other stuff.

The Misanthropic Principle at work.

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My ultimate goal would to be to have an entire league within which no team ever wins a game.

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Certain soccer leagues are like that, aren't they?

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Well, we won the basketball game by one point, but goddamn this is one ugly football game. No amount of drunk is going to fix this. Bleah.

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It would look something like the NBA, I think.

When the pros play, we all lose.

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Or rather, I should have said, the NHL. Last year. Whole league, no wins.

But UNC won, you say? Cold comfort.

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Cold comfort.

No kidding.

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Hochuli throws up Der Hornen, on the 2ft penalty.

At this point, I can only cling to the little things.

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1.6???

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Delhomme: 9.0 QB rating so far this game. Jesus.

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That throw was nowhere near Ricky Proehl.

Pull Delhomme. Put in Chris Weinke. At least I could laugh again.

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Maybe it's a last ditch effort at procrastination, or maybe I'm really curious: what does this lose-lose thing mean? Is football a relic pre-patriarchal system that does not confrom to our current hierarchical values?

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Tia, people thought that it's bad taste when I hoped for the team plane to crash, so I now just pray for both teams to lose.

I'm a football burnout. I used to be something of a fan. Ja, the fact that I used to be a Vikings fan has something to do with it, all right.

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I actually found myself intrigued my something sports-related, and it turned out to be a red herring. Damn you Emerson!

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I was 0-2 for today, but still I'll hazard a guess: Seattle over Da Burgh.

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Well, that was just disgraceful. Bill Simmons goes 0-12 over the last 12 games predicting Panthers' games. I should have known we were fucked when he picked us to advance. Asshole.

Pittsburgh 27, Seattle 17.

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Seattle by a lot.

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[redacted]

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Bill Simmons = moron

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But he was right about Kobe giving up his only chance to score 80 points in a game.

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