Re: I'm sorry, I just have to get this off my chest

1

Thanking god is so crass.

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2

Hey, Taylor Hicks said last night that one of the reasons he liked "Levon" was that it "has good family values" and I. Love. Him. Anyway.

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3

So he's like, what, 45? I thought they had an age cut-off.

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4

He's 29. He just looks old.

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5

Also, this is the perviest damn song. Now, I am, like, the goodwill ambassador for perv, so I wouldn't exactly mind that if I thought it were being sung with the consciousness of just how pervy it is, and not like its sentiments are wholesome and normal, which is how it came off last night in Ace's hands. I'd never heard it before. Does anyone know how it came off in the original version?

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6

If the pictures at the link are anything to go by, Hicks looks like the creepy high school teacher who keeps offerring certain students "special help."

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7

SomeCallMeTim is banned!

(In fact, both TH and Paris look way worse in those photos than they come off in real life, Paris because her hair and makeup for the photo shoot were really unfortunate, Taylor because a photo can't communicate his SOUL!!!1!)

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8

Paris Bennett was featured in the Minneapolis paper. She comes from a professional musical family which works with bigtime people -- including Prince, IIRC. So she's had top-level level coaching all her life -- not a rags-to-riches story.

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9

Tim, what does he look like if pictures aren't anything to go by?

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10

I didn't watch last night's show but I will vouch for the original version of "Father Figure" being pretty pervy. But in a good way.

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11

Ben -- it seems to me from reading 6 that if the pictures at the link (not "pictures" in general) are not anything to go by, SCMT would not have any opinion on what TH looks like.

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12

It's been clear from the moment she opened her mouth that Paris was kind of a ringer, but she's still a legitimate talent, and quite loveable to boot.

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13

Perhaps those special attentions were very important to Tia at the time, Tim. Let's show some sensitivity, and not scoff at her precious memories. Many students are led to the right path by a single teacher who cares.

Bennett's publicity pics may have been chosen to maximize her innocuousness and hide her show-biz roots. Her interview too.

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14

Do you want to fight, Osner?

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15

Ben -- bring it on. Also note that in her original post, Tia was not thanking God but rather invoking It.

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Taylor's the one thanking God, JO.

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17

Using "it" to refer to god is so crass.

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18

I think my point stands.

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19

God himself is crass as shit. Read your Bible!

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20

But is George Michael crass, or just pervy? That's what I'd like to know.

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21

And J.E., I think you're being unfair to the show. They made no attempt to hide Paris's show biz roots. They mentioned it when she first auditioned.

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22

My wife informs me that Chris Daughtry (from A. Idol) is hott.

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23

He's teh handsome, but his eyes are too expressionless to make it to teh hott.

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24

Here's the deal: Katherine McPhee is the next American Idol, folks.

God, I can't believe I missed this show for the first four seasons. What a fool I was. A sad, elitist fool.

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25

I really like her, but I somehow didn't see what was so great about her performance on Tuesday. Some people on a message board were saying something like she was one of the ones who wasn't that pretty, but was still talented, and I was like, are you people out of your gourd? It's hard to get prettier than Katherine McPhee. As for the second line of your post, I heartily concur. (I did see the end of the Fantasia-Diana season.) I have my roommates to thank for setting me on the path of righteousness.

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26

I've caught a couple of episodes here and there, but haven't seen anything that made me want to watch again.

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27

Katharine McPhee is very attractive, although the way her name is spelled is irritating.

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28

Whoa, nattar, I didn't even notice that.

Never mind. Me and Katharine are done.

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29

Apo, why do you hate America?

Maybe it's because you've yet to be exposed to the SEX GOD powers of Taylor Hicks.

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30

Does anyone else on this thread really, really dislike the way the American Idol contestants sing? Or am I on my own here? I mean many of them have lovely voices and good control; but the style they sing in just sounds awful to me. Last night some female contestant sang an old standard -- I'm forgetting now what the song is, I think it was the last one of the evening -- and the judges were quite enthusiastic about her performance -- but it just sounded to me like the way she was moving her voice around bore no relationship to the content of the song. That is my general complaint here I think, that they are just using the music as a vehicle to show off their pretty voices, rather than communicating anything meaningful.

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31

Jeremy is banned!

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32

That guy who sang Copacabana was a total and complete nightmare, though. Like, that guy lives in my nightmares.

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Does anyone else on this thread really, really dislike the way the American Idol contestants sing?

Wholeheartedly. Watch me run arpeggios! And again! And again! The music's swelling, time to squinch my eyes and hit the high note.

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34

Apo, why do you hate America?

The America I love shows up on Cops, not American Idol.

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35

But, boys, they are seeking someone who exemplifies the pop style of the day. That the style is what it is, do not blame them.

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36

God, I can't believe I missed this show for the first four seasons. What a fool I was. A sad, elitist fool.

Last year, a friend mentioned Fantasia Barrino in an email, and I had to turn to Google to figure out who she was.

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37

Yes, but I don't like the pop style of the day.

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38

But do they not endorse that style with each performance? Why don't they lead … by example?

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39

I haven't seen the show, just the publicity link and the newspaper story. I'd support Paris and hope for a big career for her. I just hope and pray that she doesn't get one of those accursed Swedish producers.

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40

Wolfson, you would root for Taylor Hicks in this competition, I think.

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41

I root for the sex god in any competition, Drymala.

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42

I agree with the people who complain about the style of female vocals, but Paris hasn't been doing that so far, and Fantasia didn't from what I saw. Part of the pleasure of American Idol is that your ears take a fair amount of punishment, so when the real artistry appears, it's all the more exciting.

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43

For whom would Wolfson root in America's Next Top Model?

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44

Vibrato and melisma: banned!

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45

A friend of mine thinks that pop music is especially bad when the singer has chops, because they write these shit songs with lots of long high notes, etc., to show off the voice. He prefers Britney Spears because her arrangers don't expose her voice.

She still has a Swedish producer, though.

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46

And, whom would wolfson root in America's Next Top Model?

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47

The thing about Katharine, and about Paris Bennet, is that they are both so good on television. Super appealing.

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48

46: "root" s/b "rut"

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49

Apostropher is not as familiar with the vagaries of Australian slang as are some others of us, I see.

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50

Have you ever seen this? It's distracting and very funny how often they use the word "root".

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51

I once surprised a fellow teacher from NZ a great deal by informing him that I planned to go out and root for the rugby team. Who knew?

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52

Australian slang

When in Rome...

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53

So Joe (or anyone else qualified to have an opinion)--who do you think will be voted off this week?

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or anyone else qualified to have an opinion

No need to limit the participants, all are welcome here.

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55

Copacabana guy. And crooner guy who sang "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".

And Becky O'Donahue, who looks like a pole dancer. And...maybe Heather Cox.

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56

Any of youse guys watch "The Runway Project"? Ellen watches both that and AI -- I am not a huge fan of either but have way way more time for TRP. Not that the shows are particularly similar -- they aren't -- but they occupy overlapping areas of my brain.

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57

(The judges are the low point of both shows.)

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58

Then again, it's my first season watching, so I don't know what kinds of people tend to get the boot.

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59

I didn't think that "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was so bad. What's so wrong with performing with a wink? It's like the judges want to make the show all earnestness, all the time.

Becky O, however, needs to be kicked out on her ass. I feel kind of patronized by the judges that they think I'm going to embrace someone with no goddamned talent because she's pretty. I like Katharine for saying what she did about the judging on her profile; teh honest.

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60

Who do you think is out, Tia?

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61

That harmonica thing that Taylor Hicks did was fucking classic, it should be noted.

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62

I don't know, because, liberal elitist that I am, I don't really know America.

But I'll go ahead and predict that Becky is out, and maybe Heather or Stevie is going with her. (Stevie has genuine talent but not quite clear artistic vision yet. She should have waited longer to enter this competition.)

For men, Copacabana guy and maybe Crazy Little Thing guy, but maybe Patrick Hall.

OTOH, better people could be voted off while worse people stayed if worse people had a strange niche of support. You don't get to vote for your least favorite. All Becky needs is some idiot contingent of men to say, "Yeah, she's hot," and that could sustain her for several rounds.

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63

Yeah, that's true about Becky.

I think Patrick Hall is good, but he wasn't great last night. I like him. Mandisa was pretty hot; she ought to sing "I Am Telling You I'm Not Going".

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64

Mr. Potato Head is clearly sticking around for a while.

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65

Who is Mr. Potatohead?

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66

Oh, the girl with attitude could also be out.

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67

Mr. Potato Head.

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68

Oh, the girl with attitude could also be out.

You think? I think she's got fans. And she's crazy charismatic.

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69

I've never watched more than a few minutes of the show, so I can't comment on who's in and who's out.

I hope that Taylor Hicks looks better IRL, because when I saw that picture, I though tthat you were being sarcastic, Tia.

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70

Yeah, Kevin won't be out. He's so adorable. He can't win, of course, but he'll last.

She's charismatic, but she wasn't last night when she sang. I'm just throwing out possibilities, what do I know?

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71

I hope that Taylor Hicks looks better IRL, because when I saw that picture, I though tthat you were being sarcastic, Tia.

Bostoniangirl is so, so banned! Never darken this door again, BG!

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72

Moderator, would you please approve my multi-linked comment?

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73

Speaking of who's in and who's out -- it would improve the show a great deal if the would just get rid of Simon already. And Paula Abdul, and fucking Randy Jackson. Ryan Seacrest also.

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74

Joe, I looked at the MT site, and I didn't see your embargoes comment.

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75

Blah.

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76

I like Paula. Simon is an asshole, but I guess that provides drama. Randy could stand to be replaced.

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77

It was funny when Ryan got into it with Simon last night.

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78

I actually like Ryan when he makes fun of his own I'm blowdried personality-less Ken doll persona. Not many blowdried personality-less Ken dolls do that.

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79

Yeah, I like Ryan.

Osner is t3h h4t3r!

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80

We could put the AI judges in charge of port security. But not Cowell. He's a foreigner.

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81

Ok, here are my picks for the final 12. Of the remaining contestants:

Men

Ace Young

Chris Daughtry

Gedeon McKinney

Sway Penala

Taylor Hicks

Will Makar

Women

Brenna Gethers

Katharine McPhee

Kellie Pickler

Lisa Tucker

Mandisa

Paris Bennett

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82

I liked it better when we were talking about sports. Nobody can stop the Pistons in a seven-game series!

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83

Joe, people love Eliott Yamin. I don't see it, but they apparently do. Also, I think Bucky has something of a following. (Not justifying, only reporting) I don't know if I think Will is making it all the way to the top 12. I only started really seeing him last night, and I thought, boy, if I were 11, I'd be in love with him. Maybe that will be enough. I don't know if I think Gideon will make it that far. He's kind of affected.

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84

Last night wasn't Will's best performance. He's got the gay male vote sewn up, though, which is no small thing. He's really good on TV.

Gedeon is definitely debatable. I can see Bucky getting in there. Eliott is unlookable, though. I know Simon said he's the best male vocalist they've ever had, EVAR (and Simon would never be hyperbolic in a million years), but he's extremely unattractive. I have my doubts about him.

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85

82 - As I recall, someone did stop the Pistons in a seven game series last year, bitch.

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86

78 -- where were you during the 90's? Blow-dried personality-less Kens and Barbies have so totally discovered irony (or a bland facsimile thereof).

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87

Nobody can stop the Pistons in a seven-game series!

I'm starting to wonder if the Mavs can. Also, I've never watched more than three minutes of American Idol. And I'm ashamed of those three minutes.

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88

last year

Welcome to this year, Joe.

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89

Jeez, not one word here about the tragedy of the Minnesota curling team.

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90

It's gonna be a good one.

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91

84: I don't think he's so ugly, but I also don't understand why he's such a great singer either. But some people were into him on the fan boards. Straight men won't mind that he's ugly and if straight women are into his voice, that'll be enough for them.

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92

So, admittedly, it was weird for Taylor to talk about the "family values" in "Levon", but can anyone tell me what the lyrics are actually about?

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93

(I actually think EY's kind of cute.)

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94

Searching for meaning in Elton John: a quest whose only fruit will be frustration.

(Say that reminds me of a great lyric from my onetime friend Bill Greguez: "Hunger, reaching out beyond reach/ Frustration , is all that's left to eat")

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95

Illuminating.

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96

Yeah, that explains the Alvin Tostig part, but not the whole lyric. It's always vexed me, since the music is so damn good. I want the lyric to be meaningful.

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97

I think it's meaningful. I think Levon is a traditional man who's trying to create a stable family in the midst of a confusing world (The New York Times said God is dead) but he's failing to impart his values to his son, who only feels constrained by him. His family and the world are flying apart, in spite of Levon's efforts.

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98

Would this thread have happened if Ogged were still alive? I think not.

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Funny, Emerson, I was just thinking the same thing. This thread would make Ogged cry.

That being said, you are all misguided for obsessing over AI instead of Project Runway. Although I have decided I am done with ANTM.

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"Searching for meaning in Elton John: a quest whose only fruit will be frustration."

I daresay not the only one.

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I have decided I am done with ANTM.

Sore loser, are we?

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102

Didn't Elton become the unofficial Queen of England when Di died? Wasn't that what that song of his was all about?

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103

This thread would make Ogged cry.

Given the real ultimate prissiness of it, they would probably be tears of joy.

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104

Shouldn't we all behave as though Ogged were up in Heaven, looking down at us?

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105

The theory of ogged is just that, a theory. Even oggedists can't agree among themselves whether ogged's interest in blogging declined gradually, or by tanking intermittently. What a joke. Call me a young-Unfogged creationist, but I believe Alameida put all those posts there to test our faith in whatever.

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106

Ogged is actually not a person in the sky, but a spiritual substance. To the naive and the ignorant we speak of him as a human being, because believing the right thing for the wrong reason is better than believing the wrong thing.

BTW, was it Bob or Unf who left the brilliant trail in the sky when his pride caused him to be thrown into the deepest pit of Hell?

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105: And the comment timestamps going back to whenever were created recently, too. Desperate forgeries by the oggedists.

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108

Ogged promised me he would return, and bring Cargo.

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Now that I evidently can contemplate oggedlessness with a measure of whimsy, I would like to dub his act of removing himself from the blog, "pseudicide". (Ha ha.)

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110

Some say he's alive in Argentina, with Godwin.

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111

So Joe, I think you're wrong about Brenna, and it'll be Ayla in the top six women instead. I thought about it even before the show, and I think you're overestimating her appeal because she seems like a likeably bitchy New Yorker...but no one likes them except other New Yorkers. I think you're wrong about Gedeon, and it'll be Elliott.

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I really hope it's not Ayla. Her dad is a Republican State Senator from Massachusetts, and she must therefore be punished.

You might be right about Brenna. The more I talk to people, the more I see how hated she is by America.

We'll see about Elliott, but I think it might be Mr. Potatohead Kevin instead of Gedeon.

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113

On the Television W/o Pity forums, they're calling Kevin "Fetus Covais." I think that's pretty funny. One woman called Paris "Soul Muffin," which I think is pretty cute, and "Gray Charles" is sticking for Taylor. As a nickname for us devoted fans of Taylor, "Graymates" (a play on Clay Aiken's fans, Claymates, for those not up on AI trivia), has risen its head.

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114

And now I have another timesuck for my work day. Thank you, TWP forums.

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115

It is healthy, I shall come on your site more often, thank.

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116

115 is fine comment spam.

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117

Goes nicely with the post title, too.

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118

I took out the link and left it. I've remarked about that particular spam message before (and done the delinking and leaving), but it was on one of the now mysteriously missing posts.

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