Anyway, haven't been around long enough to check the accents, and there seems to be something about guns in the first sentence -- those are those metal things, right? -- but I'll do my best.
Well, I know Unfoggeders are not necessarily in the same cultural milieu; it's a big state and all. I just figured y'all might know something I wouldn't, and I wanted to selfishly take advantage of the big, sorta diverse forum.
The dialect looks okay to me, but I don't have much experience with the area -- I've only driven through a couple times on I-40. The general milieu is dead-on from my experience, but Weiner, who lives in this exact area, is definitely a better resource on that.
I'm a little skeptical that guys like this would be carrying packs of Corona in their trucks. More likely Bud, or, for local color, Shiner Bock or something.
I'm also not sure about the trees -- I'm told that there are no trees that are native to this area. Though if you've seen a picture you're better off than I am, since I don't get out into the open fields much. Except when I go to shul.
According to an old story, the wife of the first Texas State Forester was taking a train through West Texas to join her husband who had already taken his position in East Texas. After mentioning her husband's new position to a fellow passenger, the passenger looked out at the passing landscape and said something to the effect of: "Lady, Texas doesn't need a State Forester." He then added: "- or else it needs one real bad."
Great, see, that's just what I wanted to know. Bud felt too obvious, but Shiner Bock, that seems good. I sort of wonder about the rhythm of "drunk on McKendrick and Shiner Bock, getting drunker just by looking at the stars, thick as fleas" though.
Yeah, I was wondering about the trees too. There may be some -- they wouldn't have to be native, of course. Keep in mind, though, that the Panhandle is part of the Great Plains and has vegetation to match. "Desert" is kind of a stretch.
30: But isn't it a desert in the technical precipitation sense? This is maybe a weak defense since my narrator wouldn't really be talking in meteorological terms.
I think you usually say "Shiner," which'd take care of the rhythm problem too.
Also, this may not be relevant depending on when it's supposed to be, but it does get pretty cold here at night. Though today, with a high of 73 and predicted low of 24, is exceptional.
Panhandle is part of the Great Plains and has vegetation to match
Tumbleweeds, however, are right on. It's not desert with sand and stuff, but there's a lot of dry brown grass. Exactly what would be by the side of the road might depend on what the field is for -- there are lots of cotton fields, which have their own look.
34: I'm told by a reliable source that it's semi-arid rather than desert. Though we have 0.03 inches of rain in something over 100 days, so I'm not sure I believe that.
(I'm also pretty sure you're thinking of an area a couple hours north of here, anyway.)
It's funny, just the other day I was wondering if DeLong had stopped reading Unfogged comments, because I wanted to post a complaint in comments here about something on his site. Now I'm glad I didn't.
There are definitely oil fields in West Texas (southwest of you), and I'm pretty sure there are some in the northern panhandle, which is what she's describing.
Oh, and thanks for teh compliments, Weiner and apo.
Hmm...43 makes me wonder--did I check for the proximity of Justiceberg to oil fields? I chose Justiceberg for its allegorical value. I was inspired by a newspaper account of an incident that took place in--get this--Godley, but Godley isn't in the panhandle, which I wanted, and besides that might have been one of those things you can accept in truth but not in fiction.
Sorry, I meant "There are oil fields south of here, and oil fields north of here." I'm pretty sure about that. Tia, you probably don't want to lean to hard on the idea of Justiceberg as the place they actually live, since I think it has pop. under 100, but that's poetic license for ye.
I regret that I do not know enough cod-Hegel to extend this any further.
According to a class I sat in on when I was visiting here last year, this whole structure isn't even Hegelian, but more properly ... uh, Schellingian? Schillerian? One of those other guys.
My experience of Texas roads has generally been that they are good, compared to New Mexico roads, but I don't have any experience of these particular roads.
The minister's calling men "little gods" rings every so slightly wrong to me. It's a line of argument that Mormons get absolutely trashed for by other Christians, particularly Baptists.
57: I was trying to cover my ass with that one by suggesting that Hollis was in fact misremembering the sermon, but maybe I didn't do it explicitly enough.
It's a Single Room Occupancy building. I.e. something you find in urban areas. I kind of knew it was dumb when I was writing it. Wait, is there a town called Post in the panhandle? I kind of like the idea of them heading home to Justiceberg even more now that I know there is no Justiceberg.
My parents - who did a bunch of bird-watching in Texas a few years ago - say they were amazed by the high quality of the roads. I don't think they went to the Panhandle, though.
Nice stuff, Tia. A couple thoughts--keeping the beer in a cooler doesn't work unless it's a powered cooler. If it's been sitting in the back of the truck for any length of time, it's been baked by the sun. Maybe he bought the beer as was his habit, insurance against a bartender refusing to serve? Second, the rural equivalent of an SRO is a rented trailer.
Maybe he bought the beer as was his habit, insurance against a bartender refusing to serve?
Which reminds me, you want to be careful about the liquor laws. Some strange ones at least this way. I may have mentioned that you can't buy liquor to take home within Lubbock city limits, you have to drive to the edge of town, and there are a lot of places around here where you can't buy liquor by the drink (that is, no bars).
"The Beretta 21 Bobcat is a backup, self defense pistol that appeals to ladies, undercover agents and police officers."
that he carried in a holster inside his favorite leather jacket with the wide lapels.
So we're doing James Dean in the gay version of Giant?
It was just like a jacket he remembered seeing Michael Landon wear on Bonanza when he was a kid.
Well, he's certainly gay.
The weight of the gun pressed reassuringly against his ribs as he stood at the bar
Also, an idiot. Two places you do not carry an unlicensed concealed weapon: bars and liquor stores. I mean, unless he's likes that anal prison rape thing.
and ordered two shots of McKendrick,
?
straight up, for him and his best (and only) friend, Clayton Bell.
Early symptoms of MEGO noted.
He hadn't received any threats in particular, but with three puncture scars on his chest courtesy of a cutting wheel
Ginsu?
in a fight out on the oil fields,
Oh-ho! He's actually a gay cowboy of the night!
and a nose jagged from a time a man implied that he had been conceived in an outhouse in a fairly unnatural manner,
Not that anybody would have actually have said that.
the course of his years had taught him there was hostile intent enough in the world.
People glare and shit, y'know.
Come his 40th birthday, he felt an icy weight in his chest, like a hailstone sitting right on his heart.
Man, those outdoor panhandle OR's are fuckin' rough!
A blow was coming.
And he might not have to pay for it, like usual!
He knew it like he knew his own blood. But carrying the gun made him walk a little bit taller. He was ready.
Or suicidal, yer choice.
At the bar, he wondered what the Bible said on the subject of readiness. There was that motto, "Be prepared," but that was from the Boy Scouts.
Tilt. MEGO.
Anyways, why in fuck's name would you care? Nobody who knows/gives a shit about the details is going to be reading it anyways.
ash, granting that she does care (and you can imagine reasons for wanting one's story to be realistic to its setting), aren't the person who comments here who would be best able to help her? The only other commenter who I would think might have some really helpful knowledge is Bob McManus, but he's probably too busy prepping for civil war.
Jeez ash. I explicitly asked for corrections, so I pretty much can't be trolling can I? If you have feedback not dripping with saracasm, I'd appreciate it, although actually, I'll take it even dripping with sarcasm, as long as it's expressed in a form I can understand it, which probably does not include snarky fisk-style interwoven comments; they'd have to be actually designed to communicate meaning to me in a comprehensible, organized way. For instance, I have no idea what "Tilt. MEGO" means.
Anyway, Hollis is not supposed to be gay, as you'd discover if you read it; I did want to make it seem that he was playing at masculinity somewhat incompetently, so if that's the impression you're getting, good. Also, the character is transparently supposed to be pretty self-destructive.
A "cutting wheel" I hazily recall from when I looked it up is a tool one would likely find in an oil field, so unless you have specific knowledge about that otherwise, I'll keep it. McKendrick is a brand of whiskey. And I picked the gun because I was looking for something plausibly cheap. If you have an alternate suggestion, and want to give it to me in a complete sentence that sounds something like, "I think a ________ would be more plausible for your character than what you chose for this reason: ______________," I'd appreciate it, but I have a really hard time understanding about 50% of what you're saying when you comment in your usual style.
And no, it's not inconceivable that no one who knows/gives a shit about about the details would ever read it. You just did, after all.
I'm glad that ash doesn't carry unlicensed concealed weapons into bars and liquor stores. I'd been worried about that one.
Trivia:
Tumbleweeds were first reported in the United States around 1877 in Bon Homme County, South Dakota, apparently transported in flax seed imported by Ukrainian farmers. Within two decades it had tumbled into a dozen states, and by 1900, it had reached the Pacific Coast.
The tumbleweed features in the poetry of Cao Zhi (ca. 200 AD), one of the founders of Chinese poetry. It represents the poet, who was foced to move constantly by his older brother, the Emperor Cai Pi.
To go back to the earlier beer discussion, I would assert that the beer here (although Lone Star is a great choice! But too obvious) should be Pearl. Or maybe Schlitz.
No no no, I think you want to go with Ziegen Bock. Shiner is more central TX, Lone Star is border beer. Pearl could work, too. But Texans just don't drink that much Budweiser.
Also, np carrying a beer in the back of your truck. It ought to have a utility truck box in it anyway. Actually, hold that thought, I'll read the story and reconsider, but trucks have truck boxes.
side question for anyone? I've been using signals in legal citation for so long (in which the "e.g." signal requires a comma) that I can't remember whether there should be a comma after "e.g." in regular writing. Should there?
A more conventional "Somethin' ain't right" would be more likely, according to my experience.
he was a day laboring mechanic out at the oil fields, a roughneck, Hollis liked to say
Not a really a region-specific edit, but "roughneck" was used widely and not sarcastically. You know, "he was a red pencil–pushing proofreader at the office—an editor, Capps liked to say." Also, I wonder whether guys working on oil derricks get called in, like a temp service; I imagine they probably work on campaigns, not day by day. But I dunno.
On Justiceburg: While I like the name okay, AFAIK Germans never settled in the Panhandle. You have Greune and Luckenbach and Fredricksburg all south of Austin (so, central Texas), but nothing like that in the north for all I know.
But lately Hollis had settled down a little
I like this modifier, Tia—something about the notion of a spectrum of settling strikes me as right, like he might start actin' up again at any time.
They drove all the way down to Houston, rented a motel room, and the next day they went on a pleasure boat in the Gulf of Mexico.
No such thing as a pleasure boat in Houston; it's too nasty. Galveston?
bumper was neatly attached to the truck with duct tape
! But people take so much pride in their trucks.
Say what you would about the Panhandle--it was flat and dry and sometimes it seemed the only movement was the flick of wind through tufts of grass and scrubs of tumbleweed somersaulting cross your path, but it sure did know how to put on a show at night.
It's not all flat. The high plains of the Panhandle are known for their bluffs and caprock mesas and even small canyons, one for every city, they say. (But before Weiner flames me, not Lubbock. Lubbock is the flattest city on Earth.) Very dry though, lots of mesquite.
'Cause you ain't got no other friends 'ceptin' your mother."
"''ceptin'" doesn't sound authentic to me. Believe it or not, "mama" might replace "mother."
He had less sense of his mission in life than an armadillo, which at least knew to roll up when a coyote started poking at it.
Nature field trip in junior high informs me that coyotes don't usually bother with armadilloes, but if they did, it would be no contest; coyotes would tear right through them. (So, then, why don't they bother with them?)
My several cents worth, (not finished reading, so bear with me). For the record, 28 years old, born and raised in West Texas. Midland mostly.
A couple thoughts--keeping the beer in a cooler doesn't work unless it's a powered cooler
The truth of this statement has absolutely no impact on the more important truth that no one in Texas (West or otherwise) cares if the cooler actually keeps the beer cold. An effort is made to pack the cooler with as much as ice as will fit, without sacrificing any beer, and from there, beer is beer. If there is a toolbox available, the contents of that toolbox may be emptied into the bed of the truck to make room for the beer.
"Shiner" (as it is correctly referred to) is popular among the Central TX crowd, esp. Austin and Dallas, but among those who still consider themselves cowboys or ranchers in West Texas, the only real beer is Coors (often pronounced kurrz or kerrz) or, rarely, Coors Light.
Again, the truth of the suckitude of these beers has no impact on the truth of their popularity. No one drinks Lone Star unless they are a college student or if "y'ain't from 'round here."
Not a really a region-specific edit, but "roughneck" was used widely and not sarcastically. You know, "he was a red pencil–pushing proofreader at the office—an editor, Capps liked to say."
You know, I wondered about my formulation here. I wanted to convey something about his pleasure in the term, but I thought I might have put it wrong.
Justiceberg is a real Panhandle city. I looked it up. It turns out it's a ghost town (see 49), but it's there.
! But people take so much pride in their trucks.
I was trying to go for "would take pride in it if he had any money whatsoever"--is that not conveyed? Shoot.
Also, I wonder whether guys working on oil derricks get called in, like a temp service; I imagine they probably work on campaigns, not day by day. But I dunno
Absolutely. Roughnecks and deck-hands are called in all the time, though mostly they work shifts of 8-12 hours a day, seven days on, seven days off, depending on what drilling company you work for.
Why don't you just write a colorful, inaccurate story with all kinds of harsh shit about Texans, and then condescendingly explain that it's fiction to the first shitkicker who whines about it.
"The Great Gatsby" is the greatest American novels, and he has Jake Gatz harvesting oysters in Lake Superior. (There's such a thing as a freshwater oyster, but as far as I know it's not harvested in Lake Superior.
"Shiner" (as it is correctly referred to) is popular among the Central TX crowd, esp. Austin and Dallas, but among those who still consider themselves cowboys or ranchers in West Texas, the only real beer is Coors (often pronounced kurrz or kerrz) or, rarely, Coors Light.
I find Shiner and Ziegen Bock on draft at most of the bars I go to in Lubbock and often order one of them. But I am worse than a college student, I am a college perfesser, and decidedly ain't from around here. (Did I tell you about the time a waiter asked me where I was from? "Pittsburgh," I said. "With your name and your accent we thought you might be German," he said. It later transpired that his mother was from Richmond, VA, which most people thought made her a Yankee too.)
Thanks for settin' me straight, 'Smasher. One thought about the whole 'ceptin' thing: I kind of prefer, when reading regional idiom in dialog, for there to be no apostrophes. They seem to me to introduce a kind of self-consciousness on the part of the written dialog, that it is representing a non-standard regional pronunciation. beObviously retain the apostrophes that are part of standard spelling like I'm and don't. But if the character is saying ceptin I think the author should let him do so without the apostrophes -- they are kind of a wink to the reader, like "we know what he is really saying is excepting." I think it reads better without that wink.
Well John, Mr. Clemens was writing a hundred and fifty years ago -- I take a different expectation to his stories (which I love) than to a contemporary author's. And yes, O'Connor is pretty dark. With uplifting moments scattered in though.
In my experience, "What's that whoopin' and hollerin'?" s/b "What's that hootin' and hollerin'?" or "What's that ruckus?"
"I just can't see the earthly purpose..." s/b "I just can't see no earthly purpose..."
There should be some bailing wire involved in holding the bumper on. Duct tape and bailing wire'll fix anything.
Also, Corona is fine beer for this situation if you can afford the extra $4/six pack.
Tia, I've only got a few paragraphs left and I have to take off for a while. FWIW, this thing is great! Aside from the few things in the setup here I love it. It sounds like being back home right up to the part where the gun comes out.... That there's something I've never experienced.
Thanks for posting this, my morning has been much more enjoyable so far thanks to you.
I think a __old Ruger .45______ would be more plausible for your character than what you chose for this reason: ______________,"
Once again I'm boldly going far beyond my knowledge, but I see no reason to let ignorance deprive me of a chance to opine.
That Berretta is a very small gun. It's made to fit comfortably in your gold lame clutch purse. It's .22 or .25 caliber, meaning very little kick, very little noise, and little stopping power. Short barrel (2.4"), lightweight.
You can't assert your masculinity by waving around a two inch barrel. A two inch, light, skinny barrel that shoots a wimpy load. Somehow a mere 12 ounces doesn't seem to me like a 'reassuring weight.'
If I'm reading the Ruger site correctly, this is about a two and a half pound gun (unloaded). It's also a revolver, and single action, making the cocking in the story far more important.
For carrying and waving you might want the shorter barrel. There's a description here:
Glad to see some real Texans (Smasher and Travis) weigh in on this. I was getting a little nervous about you relying too much on my responses, since I've never even been to this part of Texas.
I always assert my own masculinity by killing people point-blank with a little foo-foo girly gun, but Texans have to be assholes about that kind of thing, just the way they are about everything else. Have him carry a 45 magnum.
I still think that once you've got the verisimilitude down OK you should deliberately insert a few vicious, totally unfounded slanders against Texans in general.
Um, that thing in brackets....
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:14 PM
what?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:15 PM
Anyway, haven't been around long enough to check the accents, and there seems to be something about guns in the first sentence -- those are those metal things, right? -- but I'll do my best.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:17 PM
The Vice President and birdshot should make an appearance on the first page...
Posted by Brad DeLong | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:19 PM
Well, I know Unfoggeders are not necessarily in the same cultural milieu; it's a big state and all. I just figured y'all might know something I wouldn't, and I wanted to selfishly take advantage of the big, sorta diverse forum.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:19 PM
2: Tia licks finger, touches herself
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:22 PM
I'm sure I don't what you're talking about.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:23 PM
You don't what what I'm talking about?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:24 PM
Get out of the gutter, Weiner.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:26 PM
Are you trying to wreck this blog?
Anyway, the wind and the dust, hells yeah.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:29 PM
Get out of the gutter, Weiner.
Pretty sure he couldn't get in it, what with your finger being in the way and all.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:30 PM
See, there is a man who knows how to pluck himself some fruit.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:32 PM
I can also confirm "flat and dry."
However, in They were all five of them looking at him, the antecedent of 'five' seems to be 'brain cells' -- I wouldn't use a pronoun there.
(8 was low-hanging grammar fruit. My patrimony.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:35 PM
Crew-cab pickup?
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:36 PM
12: Did you just tell me to go pluck myself?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:36 PM
14: In context, Emerson, it would have obviously been wrong.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:38 PM
Emerson is clearly much better qualified than I am. I don't even know what he just said.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:39 PM
You're better qualified by virtue of the fact that you're reading my story. Emerson obviously is not. Hmmph.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:41 PM
Emerson was just pointing out that there are pickups that have backseats.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:42 PM
I doubt "taking the piss out of" -- isn't that British? Hard to click over long enough to note that.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:43 PM
Don't defend him!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:43 PM
The dialect looks okay to me, but I don't have much experience with the area -- I've only driven through a couple times on I-40. The general milieu is dead-on from my experience, but Weiner, who lives in this exact area, is definitely a better resource on that.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:45 PM
21 to 19. Hmm. Noted. I'll see about changing that.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:45 PM
I'm a little skeptical that guys like this would be carrying packs of Corona in their trucks. More likely Bud, or, for local color, Shiner Bock or something.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:47 PM
I wasn't defending Emerson, I was enlightening Weiner. This knowledge may come in handy for him.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:48 PM
I'm also not sure about the trees -- I'm told that there are no trees that are native to this area. Though if you've seen a picture you're better off than I am, since I don't get out into the open fields much. Except when I go to shul.
According to an old story, the wife of the first Texas State Forester was taking a train through West Texas to join her husband who had already taken his position in East Texas. After mentioning her husband's new position to a fellow passenger, the passenger looked out at the passing landscape and said something to the effect of: "Lady, Texas doesn't need a State Forester." He then added: "- or else it needs one real bad."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:49 PM
Great, see, that's just what I wanted to know. Bud felt too obvious, but Shiner Bock, that seems good. I sort of wonder about the rhythm of "drunk on McKendrick and Shiner Bock, getting drunker just by looking at the stars, thick as fleas" though.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:50 PM
I can also confirm "flat and dry."
I am assuming this is not with reference to our hostess.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:51 PM
I found a couple pictures that seemed to imply it could be at least possible that somewhere there could be trees. That's why I added "stunted".
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:52 PM
Yeah, I was wondering about the trees too. There may be some -- they wouldn't have to be native, of course. Keep in mind, though, that the Panhandle is part of the Great Plains and has vegetation to match. "Desert" is kind of a stretch.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:52 PM
Thanks Weiner! Thanks teofilo!
28: well, not after I licked my finger, no.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:53 PM
guys like this would be carrying packs of Corona
That's part of the whole gender subversion thing. He had a pack of Virginia Slims in the glove compartment, too.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:54 PM
How about Lone Star? Might clash with the "stars" later in the sentence, but it's the right kind of beer.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:56 PM
30: But isn't it a desert in the technical precipitation sense? This is maybe a weak defense since my narrator wouldn't really be talking in meteorological terms.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 7:57 PM
33: Lone Star has worse problems than Shiner Bock, as you note. Maybe I should just give them Budweiser. I gave them a more unusual brand of liquor.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:00 PM
I think you usually say "Shiner," which'd take care of the rhythm problem too.
Also, this may not be relevant depending on when it's supposed to be, but it does get pretty cold here at night. Though today, with a high of 73 and predicted low of 24, is exceptional.
Panhandle is part of the Great Plains and has vegetation to match
Tumbleweeds, however, are right on. It's not desert with sand and stuff, but there's a lot of dry brown grass. Exactly what would be by the side of the road might depend on what the field is for -- there are lots of cotton fields, which have their own look.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:00 PM
34: I'm told by a reliable source that it's semi-arid rather than desert. Though we have 0.03 inches of rain in something over 100 days, so I'm not sure I believe that.
(I'm also pretty sure you're thinking of an area a couple hours north of here, anyway.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:02 PM
But isn't it a desert in the technical precipitation sense?
I don't think so, no.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:02 PM
A few hundred miles east, and it could be Flannery O'Connor. That's an enormous compliment, by the way.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:03 PM
Yeah, this is good stuff.
I don't know if the guy would be buying his first gun when he's 40, but I'm not in any better of a position than anyone else to judge that.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:05 PM
It's funny, just the other day I was wondering if DeLong had stopped reading Unfogged comments, because I wanted to post a complaint in comments here about something on his site. Now I'm glad I didn't.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:05 PM
Yeah, by "vegetation to match" I mean grassland-type stuff.
Was the parenthesis in 37 addressed to me or Tia? Because I definitely am.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:06 PM
It was addressed to Tia -- I think the oil fields are either north of here or south of here, and south isn't the panhandle.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:09 PM
There are definitely oil fields in West Texas (southwest of you), and I'm pretty sure there are some in the northern panhandle, which is what she's describing.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:11 PM
Okay, Shiner will work well, strike desert.
Oh, and thanks for teh compliments, Weiner and apo.
Hmm...43 makes me wonder--did I check for the proximity of Justiceberg to oil fields? I chose Justiceberg for its allegorical value. I was inspired by a newspaper account of an incident that took place in--get this--Godley, but Godley isn't in the panhandle, which I wanted, and besides that might have been one of those things you can accept in truth but not in fiction.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:14 PM
oh, yeah, and the "ice" pun.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:15 PM
Yep. North of Amarillo.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:17 PM
Sorry, I meant "There are oil fields south of here, and oil fields north of here." I'm pretty sure about that. Tia, you probably don't want to lean to hard on the idea of Justiceberg as the place they actually live, since I think it has pop. under 100, but that's poetic license for ye.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:19 PM
Justiceburg is apparently a ghost town. That area is only marginally panhandle, but it isn't too far from the Oil Patch.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:25 PM
49: In fact, if it is a ghost town, and that is where Hollis and Clayton are going home to, that is serendipitously fabulous.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:28 PM
These last two comments remind me of something I've been thinking of:
Weiner-pwnage = Thesis
Jinxage = Antithesis
? = Synthesis
I regret that I do not know enough cod-Hegel to extend this any further. Anyone?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:28 PM
Isn't the real problem with carrying beer in a crappy truck in rough country that it'll explode upon opening?
Or are the roads in your story better than that?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:28 PM
I also wonder how long it will be before teofilo and I post the same link to the original story.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:30 PM
52: Ack, I don't know. Weiner, teofilo, how are the roads?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:33 PM
I regret that I do not know enough cod-Hegel to extend this any further.
According to a class I sat in on when I was visiting here last year, this whole structure isn't even Hegelian, but more properly ... uh, Schellingian? Schillerian? One of those other guys.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:35 PM
My experience of Texas roads has generally been that they are good, compared to New Mexico roads, but I don't have any experience of these particular roads.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:35 PM
The minister's calling men "little gods" rings every so slightly wrong to me. It's a line of argument that Mormons get absolutely trashed for by other Christians, particularly Baptists.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:36 PM
57: I was trying to cover my ass with that one by suggesting that Hollis was in fact misremembering the sermon, but maybe I didn't do it explicitly enough.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:38 PM
Oh, and on the ghost-town theme, you might want to change the town with the SRO (what is that, btw?) to something like Post.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:38 PM
It's a Single Room Occupancy building. I.e. something you find in urban areas. I kind of knew it was dumb when I was writing it. Wait, is there a town called Post in the panhandle? I kind of like the idea of them heading home to Justiceberg even more now that I know there is no Justiceberg.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:41 PM
My parents - who did a bunch of bird-watching in Texas a few years ago - say they were amazed by the high quality of the roads. I don't think they went to the Panhandle, though.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:41 PM
Post is pretty close to Lubbock. I saw a headline "Post man charged with murder" and was confused.
Wolfson, that doesn't make it any less cod-Hegelian. Now hop to it!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:46 PM
I still don't really understand the SRO. Is that where he lives? I thought it had something to do with him getting the work call.
If it's where he lives, just make it Justiceburg, I think. But it would be a house.
Post (pop.3807) is the seat of Garza County, where Justiceburg is.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:53 PM
Yeah, it's supposed to be where he lives. and yeah, it's dumb that I made it an SRO.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 8:58 PM
Nice stuff, Tia. A couple thoughts--keeping the beer in a cooler doesn't work unless it's a powered cooler. If it's been sitting in the back of the truck for any length of time, it's been baked by the sun. Maybe he bought the beer as was his habit, insurance against a bartender refusing to serve? Second, the rural equivalent of an SRO is a rented trailer.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 9:28 PM
Chopper's right; a trailer is probably what you're going for.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 9:31 PM
Maybe he bought the beer as was his habit, insurance against a bartender refusing to serve?
Which reminds me, you want to be careful about the liquor laws. Some strange ones at least this way. I may have mentioned that you can't buy liquor to take home within Lubbock city limits, you have to drive to the edge of town, and there are a lot of places around here where you can't buy liquor by the drink (that is, no bars).
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 9:36 PM
Garza county is mostly wet, so you're probably OK.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-16-06 9:44 PM
You're trollin', right?
When he turned 40 years old, Hollis Easter
...and his brother, Harvey Christmas...
bought a Beretta
One of those high-dahller pistols.
21 Bobcat pistol
.25 ACP?
"The Beretta 21 Bobcat is a backup, self defense pistol that appeals to ladies, undercover agents and police officers."
that he carried in a holster inside his favorite leather jacket with the wide lapels.
So we're doing James Dean in the gay version of Giant?
It was just like a jacket he remembered seeing Michael Landon wear on Bonanza when he was a kid.
Well, he's certainly gay.
The weight of the gun pressed reassuringly against his ribs as he stood at the bar
Also, an idiot. Two places you do not carry an unlicensed concealed weapon: bars and liquor stores. I mean, unless he's likes that anal prison rape thing.
and ordered two shots of McKendrick,
?
straight up, for him and his best (and only) friend, Clayton Bell.
Early symptoms of MEGO noted.
He hadn't received any threats in particular, but with three puncture scars on his chest courtesy of a cutting wheel
Ginsu?
in a fight out on the oil fields,
Oh-ho! He's actually a gay cowboy of the night!
and a nose jagged from a time a man implied that he had been conceived in an outhouse in a fairly unnatural manner,
Not that anybody would have actually have said that.
the course of his years had taught him there was hostile intent enough in the world.
People glare and shit, y'know.
Come his 40th birthday, he felt an icy weight in his chest, like a hailstone sitting right on his heart.
Man, those outdoor panhandle OR's are fuckin' rough!
A blow was coming.
And he might not have to pay for it, like usual!
He knew it like he knew his own blood. But carrying the gun made him walk a little bit taller. He was ready.
Or suicidal, yer choice.
At the bar, he wondered what the Bible said on the subject of readiness. There was that motto, "Be prepared," but that was from the Boy Scouts.
Tilt. MEGO.
Anyways, why in fuck's name would you care? Nobody who knows/gives a shit about the details is going to be reading it anyways.
ash
['So no worries.']
Posted by ash | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 12:09 AM
ash, granting that she does care (and you can imagine reasons for wanting one's story to be realistic to its setting), aren't the person who comments here who would be best able to help her? The only other commenter who I would think might have some really helpful knowledge is Bob McManus, but he's probably too busy prepping for civil war.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 12:19 AM
Jeez ash. I explicitly asked for corrections, so I pretty much can't be trolling can I? If you have feedback not dripping with saracasm, I'd appreciate it, although actually, I'll take it even dripping with sarcasm, as long as it's expressed in a form I can understand it, which probably does not include snarky fisk-style interwoven comments; they'd have to be actually designed to communicate meaning to me in a comprehensible, organized way. For instance, I have no idea what "Tilt. MEGO" means.
Anyway, Hollis is not supposed to be gay, as you'd discover if you read it; I did want to make it seem that he was playing at masculinity somewhat incompetently, so if that's the impression you're getting, good. Also, the character is transparently supposed to be pretty self-destructive.
A "cutting wheel" I hazily recall from when I looked it up is a tool one would likely find in an oil field, so unless you have specific knowledge about that otherwise, I'll keep it. McKendrick is a brand of whiskey. And I picked the gun because I was looking for something plausibly cheap. If you have an alternate suggestion, and want to give it to me in a complete sentence that sounds something like, "I think a ________ would be more plausible for your character than what you chose for this reason: ______________," I'd appreciate it, but I have a really hard time understanding about 50% of what you're saying when you comment in your usual style.
And no, it's not inconceivable that no one who knows/gives a shit about about the details would ever read it. You just did, after all.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 5:34 AM
Thanks Chopper and Jackmormon!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 5:36 AM
I'm glad that ash doesn't carry unlicensed concealed weapons into bars and liquor stores. I'd been worried about that one.
Trivia:
Tumbleweeds were first reported in the United States around 1877 in Bon Homme County, South Dakota, apparently transported in flax seed imported by Ukrainian farmers. Within two decades it had tumbled into a dozen states, and by 1900, it had reached the Pacific Coast.
The tumbleweed features in the poetry of Cao Zhi (ca. 200 AD), one of the founders of Chinese poetry. It represents the poet, who was foced to move constantly by his older brother, the Emperor Cai Pi.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 5:53 AM
To go back to the earlier beer discussion, I would assert that the beer here (although Lone Star is a great choice! But too obvious) should be Pearl. Or maybe Schlitz.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:17 AM
"conceived in an outhouse in a fairly unnatural manner"
Not that anybody would have actually have said that.
Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt beg to differ.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:26 AM
My Texan in-law insists on Busch, IIRC. But he's Mexican.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:29 AM
Now that Ogged, Bob, and Unf are all off in blog heaven, I think that the name of the blog should be changed to "V62.3".
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:44 AM
No no no, I think you want to go with Ziegen Bock. Shiner is more central TX, Lone Star is border beer. Pearl could work, too. But Texans just don't drink that much Budweiser.
Also, np carrying a beer in the back of your truck. It ought to have a utility truck box in it anyway. Actually, hold that thought, I'll read the story and reconsider, but trucks have truck boxes.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:15 AM
Ooh, Ziegen Bock! That was the first beer I ever drank in Texas.
And I would dispute that Lone Star is border beer. I certainly drank a lot of it in Central TX. But maybe my friends and I were weird.
I just think Pearl is good for Old Dudes.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:26 AM
Pearl and Schlitz are both fine rhythmically. Ziegen Bock presents the same problems as Shiner Bock, unless I can call it Ziegen. Can I?
And thanks Armsmasher, Silvana, and Emerson!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:27 AM
unless I can call it Ziegen. Can I?
Unfortunately, no.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:29 AM
Hm. Then it needs to be Pearl, unless someone wants to suggest a one or two syllable brand of whiskey.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:33 AM
side question for anyone? I've been using signals in legal citation for so long (in which the "e.g." signal requires a comma) that I can't remember whether there should be a comma after "e.g." in regular writing. Should there?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:35 AM
I think the imagery of Pearl is very nice for a desert/quasi-desert situation.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:37 AM
Also, does anyone have a Texas equivalent for "taking the piss out of"?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:48 AM
Silvana -- you mean a comma after the "e.g.", right? It is not required and only occasionally useful.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:54 AM
(To disclaim: I am not a grammarian, only going by the usages I see in my own reading.)
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 7:55 AM
"There's something a mite off about that boy"
A more conventional "Somethin' ain't right" would be more likely, according to my experience.
he was a day laboring mechanic out at the oil fields, a roughneck, Hollis liked to say
Not a really a region-specific edit, but "roughneck" was used widely and not sarcastically. You know, "he was a red pencil–pushing proofreader at the office—an editor, Capps liked to say." Also, I wonder whether guys working on oil derricks get called in, like a temp service; I imagine they probably work on campaigns, not day by day. But I dunno.
On Justiceburg: While I like the name okay, AFAIK Germans never settled in the Panhandle. You have Greune and Luckenbach and Fredricksburg all south of Austin (so, central Texas), but nothing like that in the north for all I know.
But lately Hollis had settled down a little
I like this modifier, Tia—something about the notion of a spectrum of settling strikes me as right, like he might start actin' up again at any time.
They drove all the way down to Houston, rented a motel room, and the next day they went on a pleasure boat in the Gulf of Mexico.
No such thing as a pleasure boat in Houston; it's too nasty. Galveston?
bumper was neatly attached to the truck with duct tape
! But people take so much pride in their trucks.
Say what you would about the Panhandle--it was flat and dry and sometimes it seemed the only movement was the flick of wind through tufts of grass and scrubs of tumbleweed somersaulting cross your path, but it sure did know how to put on a show at night.
It's not all flat. The high plains of the Panhandle are known for their bluffs and caprock mesas and even small canyons, one for every city, they say. (But before Weiner flames me, not Lubbock. Lubbock is the flattest city on Earth.) Very dry though, lots of mesquite.
'Cause you ain't got no other friends 'ceptin' your mother."
"''ceptin'" doesn't sound authentic to me. Believe it or not, "mama" might replace "mother."
He had less sense of his mission in life than an armadillo, which at least knew to roll up when a coyote started poking at it.
Nature field trip in junior high informs me that coyotes don't usually bother with armadilloes, but if they did, it would be no contest; coyotes would tear right through them. (So, then, why don't they bother with them?)
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:06 AM
Also, does anyone have a Texas equivalent for "taking the piss out of"?
Winding him up like a tin toy car.
Burying him in bullshit til he couldn't see straight.
Planting a patch of loco weed so thick he'd be clearing brush for days.
[All thoroughly made up, what do I know from Texas?]
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:08 AM
You do need the comma after the construction, e.g., e.g.,.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:09 AM
My several cents worth, (not finished reading, so bear with me). For the record, 28 years old, born and raised in West Texas. Midland mostly.
The truth of this statement has absolutely no impact on the more important truth that no one in Texas (West or otherwise) cares if the cooler actually keeps the beer cold. An effort is made to pack the cooler with as much as ice as will fit, without sacrificing any beer, and from there, beer is beer. If there is a toolbox available, the contents of that toolbox may be emptied into the bed of the truck to make room for the beer."Shiner" (as it is correctly referred to) is popular among the Central TX crowd, esp. Austin and Dallas, but among those who still consider themselves cowboys or ranchers in West Texas, the only real beer is Coors (often pronounced kurrz or kerrz) or, rarely, Coors Light.
Again, the truth of the suckitude of these beers has no impact on the truth of their popularity. No one drinks Lone Star unless they are a college student or if "y'ain't from 'round here."
Posted by Travis | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:12 AM
Thanks, Arms!
Not a really a region-specific edit, but "roughneck" was used widely and not sarcastically. You know, "he was a red pencil–pushing proofreader at the office—an editor, Capps liked to say."
You know, I wondered about my formulation here. I wanted to convey something about his pleasure in the term, but I thought I might have put it wrong.
Justiceberg is a real Panhandle city. I looked it up. It turns out it's a ghost town (see 49), but it's there.
! But people take so much pride in their trucks.
I was trying to go for "would take pride in it if he had any money whatsoever"--is that not conveyed? Shoot.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:12 AM
As noted, "Cause you ain't got no other friends 'ceptin' your mother." Is perfect, 'ceptin' you should say 'mama'
Posted by Travis | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:14 AM
Posted by Travis | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:28 AM
Thanks Travis!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:31 AM
Is it deckhands or derrickhands? Or both, or are those different jobs?
Also, you hear The Flatlanders played loudly wherever you go in the Panhandle. Whether there's a music-playing device around or not.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:36 AM
Wouldn't it be "'cept" as opposed to "'ceptin"? Just a thought.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:36 AM
Arms, both. They are interchangeable.
Silvana, nope. It's almost always "'ceptin'".
Posted by Travis | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:42 AM
Why don't you just write a colorful, inaccurate story with all kinds of harsh shit about Texans, and then condescendingly explain that it's fiction to the first shitkicker who whines about it.
"The Great Gatsby" is the greatest American novels, and he has Jake Gatz harvesting oysters in Lake Superior. (There's such a thing as a freshwater oyster, but as far as I know it's not harvested in Lake Superior.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:46 AM
"Shiner" (as it is correctly referred to) is popular among the Central TX crowd, esp. Austin and Dallas, but among those who still consider themselves cowboys or ranchers in West Texas, the only real beer is Coors (often pronounced kurrz or kerrz) or, rarely, Coors Light.
I find Shiner and Ziegen Bock on draft at most of the bars I go to in Lubbock and often order one of them. But I am worse than a college student, I am a college perfesser, and decidedly ain't from around here. (Did I tell you about the time a waiter asked me where I was from? "Pittsburgh," I said. "With your name and your accent we thought you might be German," he said. It later transpired that his mother was from Richmond, VA, which most people thought made her a Yankee too.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:49 AM
At least she didn't go all Godwin on your Nazi ass, Weiner.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:52 AM
I am obviously more devoted to the craft than Fitzgerald.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 8:58 AM
101: Who?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:04 AM
Wait, I get it. The waiter was male, and I did not actually encounter his mother.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:10 AM
Thanks for settin' me straight, 'Smasher. One thought about the whole 'ceptin' thing: I kind of prefer, when reading regional idiom in dialog, for there to be no apostrophes. They seem to me to introduce a kind of self-consciousness on the part of the written dialog, that it is representing a non-standard regional pronunciation. beObviously retain the apostrophes that are part of standard spelling like I'm and don't. But if the character is saying ceptin I think the author should let him do so without the apostrophes -- they are kind of a wink to the reader, like "we know what he is really saying is excepting." I think it reads better without that wink.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:14 AM
Take it to Mark Twain, Osner.
Moving along with "A Good Man is Hard to Find." Them is some consistently dark stories.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:21 AM
Well John, Mr. Clemens was writing a hundred and fifty years ago -- I take a different expectation to his stories (which I love) than to a contemporary author's. And yes, O'Connor is pretty dark. With uplifting moments scattered in though.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:23 AM
In my experience, "What's that whoopin' and hollerin'?" s/b "What's that hootin' and hollerin'?" or "What's that ruckus?"
"I just can't see the earthly purpose..." s/b "I just can't see no earthly purpose..."
There should be some bailing wire involved in holding the bumper on. Duct tape and bailing wire'll fix anything.
Also, Corona is fine beer for this situation if you can afford the extra $4/six pack.
Tia, I've only got a few paragraphs left and I have to take off for a while. FWIW, this thing is great! Aside from the few things in the setup here I love it. It sounds like being back home right up to the part where the gun comes out.... That there's something I've never experienced.
Thanks for posting this, my morning has been much more enjoyable so far thanks to you.
Posted by Travis | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:25 AM
I don't know how I forgot Kriston when I posted 70.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 9:53 AM
Corona is fine beer
These four words should never be placed together in this order.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:06 AM
No worries, w/d, I'm resolved to make myself a caricature if that's what it takes to make an impression around here.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:07 AM
I'm visualizing you with heavily tooled multi-color boots, a large white hat, and a four pound silver belt-buckle as I sit here.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:17 AM
And eating smoked brisket while watching for those immagrints, who take jobs away from hardworkin white people.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:31 AM
Not that I blame TX employers for that, LB.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:35 AM
How about "Fine, Corona is beer"?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:50 AM
That order holds true, but just barely.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:51 AM
Or, "Corona is 'beer'? Fine... I guess we are using different lexicons."
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 10:52 AM
108: hey, glad to make your morning more enjoyable, and thanks for all the help.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 1:25 PM
I think a __old Ruger .45______ would be more plausible for your character than what you chose for this reason: ______________,"
Once again I'm boldly going far beyond my knowledge, but I see no reason to let ignorance deprive me of a chance to opine.
That Berretta is a very small gun. It's made to fit comfortably in your gold lame clutch purse. It's .22 or .25 caliber, meaning very little kick, very little noise, and little stopping power. Short barrel (2.4"), lightweight.
You can't assert your masculinity by waving around a two inch barrel. A two inch, light, skinny barrel that shoots a wimpy load. Somehow a mere 12 ounces doesn't seem to me like a 'reassuring weight.'
For plausibly cheap, I'd think Ruger, and I'd think used. Lots of people buy used guns. For about the same price as the Beretta, you could get a Ruger .45: http://ktpguns.com/scripts/firearminfo.cfm?Firearm_Code=85802
If I'm reading the Ruger site correctly, this is about a two and a half pound gun (unloaded). It's also a revolver, and single action, making the cocking in the story far more important.
For carrying and waving you might want the shorter barrel. There's a description here:
http://www.sixguns.com/range/RugerPackin.htm
Anyway, with luck someone (gswift?) will set us all straight. Somehow, posting the wrong answer seems to inspire more knowledgable people to step in.
Posted by Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 5:50 PM
Glad to see some real Texans (Smasher and Travis) weigh in on this. I was getting a little nervous about you relying too much on my responses, since I've never even been to this part of Texas.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:21 PM
I always assert my own masculinity by killing people point-blank with a little foo-foo girly gun, but Texans have to be assholes about that kind of thing, just the way they are about everything else. Have him carry a 45 magnum.
I still think that once you've got the verisimilitude down OK you should deliberately insert a few vicious, totally unfounded slanders against Texans in general.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:35 PM
Give him a muzzle-loading musket. Or better yet, a cannon mounted in his truck bed. That's hott, like shaving with a straight razor.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-17-06 6:43 PM