Whichever Wednesday it is, will somebody take a laptop and post once in a while, for the benefit of those of us in windswept prairies and gloomy forests?
The post says the 29th. Today is the 22d. Stop freaking me out. And there will be a full recap for the non-NY types, although probably it will be a pack of lies.
And now I must go away -- if I don't get this brief written, I'm going to get fired.
That kitten is objectively pro-white-collar crime. Also, shameless. Also, I wish to say again, I'm going to be in New York some other week than next one, and I fie! fie on all of you for not meeting my requirements for a meetup. Fie!
I actually missed the first two and a half, so without having seen Bucky, I can't really predict. Since the meetup isn't tonight, maybe I'll make it home tonight to catch the tape and then make a prediction. Katherine is so gorgeous. I want to be a boy so I can be her boyfriend. I think I've realized that I'm not in love with her singing--so nasal in the upper registers--but I just want to gaze at her all day long.
Slol -- if the week you are going to be in the city includes the 4th of April (a Tuesday evening), Idealist and I were going to get dinner at La Espiga then. You'd be welcome to join us. (This goes for people who are not Slol as well.)
I watched some of American Idol last night and ye gods, was it bad! Did you guys have any ideas for how the existence of that "I Walk the Line" performance could be made to fit in with a meaningful universe? Or does this just prove what the Dadaists have been saying all along? Was that performance itself Dada?
A-and, never again will I be able to listen to "I Go Out Walking After Midnight" (previously one of my favorite songs, at least among the subset of songs that I do not know the title of) without hearing some kinda dreadful southern-but-not-really drawl. Thanks Kelly, thanks a lot. I should have watched the E! profile of Tori Spelling instead.
Wow, Mandisa was better than ever before? I have to see that. I walked in in the middle of Paris. She was sounding good and looking fantastic. I just can't get excited about Chris. He always sounds the same. And for me to really enjoy rock music, it has to actually rock in a way that the singer can't provide on his own. I never feel moved by him.
My man Taylor chose a bad song last night. He was fun, but the song was repetitive and unmelodic.
Also, it should be noted that that version of "Walk The Line" could be a number one hit in this meaningful universe. Not saying it was good or bad or whatever, but that seems to be the general consensus among my music-industry friends who watched last night.
40 -- okay well I gotta ask since I was not paying 'tension to people's names: was the author of that execrable "I Walk the Line" one of the people you listed above as "great"? Cause that would beg into question the very foundations of my reality.
I liked Kellie singing "I Go Out Walkin' After Midnight." But every week her person depresses me more and more. I about cried when Ryan asked her if she's learned anything new this week, she scratched her head, and he said, "I'll let you think about that for a while."
Joe, Taylor was fine. He just chose a bad song. Don't be a hater. Stevie Wonder and Barry Manilow both think he's great.
Perhaps I'm just irritable in the early morning over here, but that kitten? Decidedly not adorable. In fact, the way the shot is framed, it's not clear it's even a kitten at all. It could be a full-grown cat, and enthusing about the cuteness of a full-grown cat is perverted.
I'm not really down with the decoration of its fur, either.
If you want cute, but don't want to bend knee to Cute Overlord, I recommend the baaaaaby animals livejournal group. Or, you could just approximate Dantean heaven on earth by contemplating the face of bubees for eternity.
enthusing about the cuteness of a full-grown cat is perverted
I've always felt this way about some of the cats sent in to Kitten War. It's really sad that people with full-grown not-cute cats are entering their sweetums into battle with invincible kitties.
Weiner, no matter how many times you mention it or how many pictures you link to, I still can't get over the idea that you have a cat. It just doesn't fit somehow.
Weiner, you give off more of a "gotta dog named Rusty who wears a bandanna and fetches the Frisbee at th epark and oh look there's a hot chick maybe she'll talk to me or marry this other person" vibe.
Straight single men don't have cats? Is that really a widespread perception? Every lonely guy in my family has a cat, or several. The house my grandfather built for the family in Amherst N.S., which he hated because the workmanship rebuked his sense of himself every time he came home to it, reeked of cats. My uncle Garn was killed when the place burned down in the '80s; God knows how many cats went with him. My uncle Gerald had a whole cat language he solemnly pronounced. My dad was such a Johnson buff he named our cat "Hodge."
55: Yes, our cat is a great hunter. Nonetheless, I love cats in their catness and mice in their mouseness, though never the twain shall (hopefully) meet.
Also, Ben is wrong. Adult cats can be adorable, though obviously they can't, as a class, compete with kittens. But Ben's statement clearly smacks of kittenism, and should not be tolerated.
Weiner is totally a cat kinda guy. Which is a compliment, she says, to forestall the inevitable jokes. While, come to think of it, simply inviting other ones. Oh well.
I had plans to get two cats and give each of them three names, but now I can't remember all of them.
One cat was to be called Hermes Trismegistus, aka something else, aka Jacques (I think); the other was to have been named Finn MacCool, aka Finn, aka Marcel (I think?).
I've mentioned my father's imaginary cats -- Ceremony, Umbrage, and Nostalgic? Their only function is to yowl when, respectively, stood upon, taken, or waxed.
He used to have an actual cat, passed on from my sister. A beautiful but incredibly stupid Abyssinian -- the Derek Zoolander of cats.
76: My students once said that Boswell reminded them of some little cartoon dog, always jumping up and down and yapping "let's play! let's play!" and humping Johnson's leg.
I could ask the same of you. If you recall, back when the crowd were discussing Alameida's relationship with her asshole high school art teacher, ac and LizardBreath (IIRC) had a side conversation about a girl in their school who had had an affair with one of their teachers -- she went by "the Modesto kid", though I know not why; perhaps she came from the same town as I -- I decided then and there, that would be my pseudonym henceforth.
Oh dear. No, Jeremy, the teacher went by (or rather, was known among the students as) The Modesto Kid. Now, that story is the only one I know of his molesting students, and he was otherwise a perfectly pleasant fellow, but I wouldn't have neamed myself for him.
LB -- I'm happy with it. It doesn't really make me think about your molesting teacher so much as about my home town. I'll probably drop it in a little while anyway, every day I think of a pseudonym I would like better.
My cat is kittenish-cute. Grew up to be a small delicate batshit insane but friendly two year old cat.
If cats had scales, however, we would see them for the vicious predators they are. It's cute when a fluffball stalks your toes. If it looked like a lizard, I'd shoot it.
OK, you're all missing the point here. Weiner may be a cat person instead of a dog person but what I can't fathom is that he would be the type of person to wake up one day, decide "I need to procure myself a cat", go to the pound/breeder/classifieds, evaluate suitable candidates, and bring one home. I can possibly envision a scenario where he adopts a friendly stray that takes a liking to him and starts hanging around his dwelling or a kitten that gets pawned off on him by a well meaning friend but the former scenario is the one that baffles.
How did you come into possession of this cat, Weiner?
I picture Weiner with a small dog. One of those white curly-haired breeds.
Tia, it is OVER between us. I used to live above such a dog. Cute if stuffed, but annoyingly yappy as all hell.
105, on the other hand, nails it. Some well-meaning friends were having a baby and decided that the cat was incompatible with that, so they pawned off the cat (and, eventually, a stray who was hanging around) on me and my roommate. I was extremely enthusiastic about getting a cat, and glad I didn't have to go through the process you describe, which would probably have defeated me.
WE HAD A FOREIGN CUSTOMER WHO BOARDED A HUGE NUMBER OF KITTENS AT OUR PET CARE FACILITY, WHO LATER DIED AS A RESULT OF A PLANE CRASH. BEFORE HIS DEATH, HE ARRANGED FOR THE KITTENS TO BE ADOPTED BY THE HEIR TO THE NIGERIAN THRONE.
SINCE THE DEATH OF THIS CUSTOMER, I PERSONALLY HAVE WATCHED WITH KEEN INTEREST TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE KITTENS. THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY HAS SHOWN NO INTEREST IN FOLLOWING THROUGH ON THEIR COMMITMENT. ON THIS NOTE I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOSE NAME SHALL BE USED AS NEXT OF KIN AS NO ONE HAS COME FORWARD TO BE NEXT OF KIN.
IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH MY COUNTRY'S FOREIGN TRADE MINISTER AFTER I WAS CONVINCED BY PROVIDENCE YOU COULD PROVIDE A HOME FOR THESE KITTENS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL OR CALL ME ON MY NUMBER +87-332-990-1286, PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME ON MY OFFICE NUMBER.
Ooo. I've often stood outside the snow leopard cage at the Bronx Zoo, and wondered what the injury rate was to zookeepers who just couldn't resist trying to snuggle with the big kitties, and then got et. I'm a mature, responsible adult, but something about big cats just makes me go "Oooo, fluffy."
I brought ny 15-month-old to the zoo on Saturday--she absolutely loved the cougars. One was pacing right in front of (behind a chain-link fence) and Audrey was ecstatically shouting "ditty! ditty!" (her version of "kitty") over and over.
When I was a kid, I was charged by some large, vicious mammal while at the zoo. I don't remember it at all - maybe it was a tiger? - but it freaked out everyone involved since the animal came right up to the edge of the cage. My parents said the trainer came out and scolded it and apologized to us for its behavior.
Oh, we're talking about something else now? If you go to dinner with a speaker, you probably should have at least one thing to say. The few times I've been to dinner with speakers - always as part of a group - I've felt pressure to do something that shows you're making use of the speaker's knowledge/expertise/connections/ability to get the department to pay for better food.
126: But I maintain that you only value the playful antics of the cute, adorable foot-long predator, good as it is at chasing mice & roaches, because its predatory skills are encased in a purring, fluffy shell. I might value a predatory lizard for chasing down mice, but if it wrapped its scaly body around my leg, as my cat often does, and pretended to disbowel it, and gnawed on my ankle, I'd freak right the fuck out.
Lesson: If you are going to be deadly, be cute about it.
142 wasn't primarily intended as snark, but I had neglected the term I meant to invoke. Does what 142 describes count as implication cancelling, or no, because what's being cancelled is textual, rather than implied?
My sister had a lizard before she got a cat, but the lizard was pretty much always in a cage except for its last few trips to a vet. I think she's much happier with the cat.
Probably not (and I think that what you mean is "Implicature" (and did you know that My Paper on implicature canceling is about to come out, which I celebrated by taking it down from my website (and this and a few other comments on this thread indicate that I have a Big Ego, yes))), because what is seemingly canceled is part of the literal meaning of the first clause. IOW what you said. It's an interesting question because I'm not sure what 'particularly' means; if it's an intensifier it need not cancel the first clause, as in something like "It is good for you to go to dinner with speakers, and it is very good to do so when you have something to say to them."
Ben, I don't know what he's speaking on, but you should have at least one thing to say to him; "I too have a blog" would be something. He's not difficult to draw out. Maybe you can talk about truth in fiction. Cala in 144 also speaks Teh True.
Yeah, I'm not going to be saying I have a blog in front of other department members, actually. Though I recall that in the earlier iteration of my blog, I posted a lengthy if rambling and incoherent criticism of his paper "My Favorite Puzzle" to which he linked in a favorable way, and then the following schoolyear one of my classmates said she found out about it (=my blog in its earlier incarnation) from Weatherson's.
It's certainly true that I should have used the word implicature, but that's not to definetly say that I meant implicature, just that my comment would have made more sense if I used it.
Also, I'm not currently writing anything (nor have in the past, so it's unclear why I used currently), but I am lead editing a really good piece called "No/vel Crim/inal Fra/ud" by Sam/uel Bue/ll. However, the link to the internet accessible version of it, last I checked, opens a .pdf of it with the correct number of pages, but all of them after the abstract are blank.
The primary concern is to demonstrate that you're not freaking out and hiding under your bed, en route to dropping out of the profession, as has happened to approximately 20% of my PhD class.
lizards can be pretty. like the house geckos we had all over the walls of our house in the equatorial country i lived with my family around age 12. jewel green and delicate.
my cat at the time made short work of all the bigger lizards... including one species twice her size (though they were mostly tail) and suddenly we had no more big orange-tailed lizards in the garden anymore. she had to move on to the tinier species of poisonous snakes, which she would lay out in rows on the terrace but knew enough not to eat. so cats win at predatorhood as well as fluffiness...
My Mom's house here had bats and a nest of hibernating snakes awhile back, but no lizards.
When Wolfson meets Weatherson he can very subtly dangle Teh Hip in front of him, without ever saying in so many words that some other sites are in continual risk of Teh Stuffy.
Wolfson should go to the talk, note all grammatical errors and infelicities, and in his inimitable manner politely point them out after the talk, in lieu of asking a question. If he does not do this, he is not really a grammar bitch.
Awwwww.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:10 AM
I hope that kitten dies.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:11 AM
I like the spots -- it's a teeny, teeny little leopard. Actually bears rather a resemblance to Newt's beloved Baby Jaguar, also known as 'Mrow Mrow'.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:11 AM
Baby Jaguar's super-secret blog name is "Worm Worm"?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:13 AM
Oops. I blame Wolfson.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:13 AM
Great. Now if Baby Jaguar starts posting, everyone will know who he is.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:15 AM
That kitten looks undisinterested.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:15 AM
Domo-Kun! Seems I learn something every day.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:15 AM
Not so! He can just post as Ybab Raugaj.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:17 AM
D'oh, I blew that one too.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:17 AM
This looks like as good a place as any to confirm that it's tonight, at 6:30, at O'Reilly's on 35th between 5th and 6th?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:18 AM
Do you know what would have been really fun, but that it's too late for?
If at the first meetup we had made each other guess who we were.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:19 AM
Not so! He can just post as Ybab Raugaj.
Sounds Persian. Wait a minute—
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:19 AM
11: What? I thought it was next Wednesday, not this Wednesday.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:21 AM
Wait, I thought it was this Wednesday.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:22 AM
Whichever Wednesday it is, will somebody take a laptop and post once in a while, for the benefit of those of us in windswept prairies and gloomy forests?
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:24 AM
Oh, I just looked at the original thread. It does appear to be next Wednesday. I even tried to make my hair look nice for you people. Sheesh.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:25 AM
The post says the 29th. Today is the 22d. Stop freaking me out. And there will be a full recap for the non-NY types, although probably it will be a pack of lies.
And now I must go away -- if I don't get this brief written, I'm going to get fired.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:26 AM
Oh well, Jackmormon, if we had both showed up, we could have still had a beer.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:27 AM
OMG - my blood pressure just spiked. It's NEXT Wednesday, right?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:29 AM
It is next Wednesday. JM and I were confused.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:31 AM
It is next Wednesday.
In Boston.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:31 AM
Next Wedneday in Boston
Hey what is this, Pesach?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:32 AM
"If I forget thee, oh Boston, may my right hand..."
There you go, apo.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:35 AM
So Tia, it's Lisa, or what?
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:40 AM
*Whoops!*
(Guess who doesn't have one of those responsible-type jobs?)
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:42 AM
Also, for future reference, my handy Palm Pilot direction-giver says that the closest subways to O'Reilly's are:
34th Street B/D/F/Q/W/V/N/R
33rd Street 6
Penn Station 1/2/3
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 9:57 AM
That kitten is objectively pro-white-collar crime. Also, shameless. Also, I wish to say again, I'm going to be in New York some other week than next one, and I fie! fie on all of you for not meeting my requirements for a meetup. Fie!
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:03 AM
Yes. Of all the bars on 35th, O'Reilly's is the one closest to 5th Ave. before you hit a big'n'tall store and a toy store. It's pretty clearly marked.
I may get there a little earlier to reserve an area. Do we know how many of us there are?
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:06 AM
Oh, and it's on the north side of the street (which will be obvious).
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:07 AM
Jasmine tea contains very little actual tea, doesn't it? I've been drinking it all morning and am still barely awake.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:08 AM
I actually missed the first two and a half, so without having seen Bucky, I can't really predict. Since the meetup isn't tonight, maybe I'll make it home tonight to catch the tape and then make a prediction. Katherine is so gorgeous. I want to be a boy so I can be her boyfriend. I think I've realized that I'm not in love with her singing--so nasal in the upper registers--but I just want to gaze at her all day long.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:14 AM
Slol -- if the week you are going to be in the city includes the 4th of April (a Tuesday evening), Idealist and I were going to get dinner at La Espiga then. You'd be welcome to join us. (This goes for people who are not Slol as well.)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:18 AM
People that were great:
Chris
Kat
Elliott
People that were beyond awesome:
Paris (finally)
Mandisa (as usual, but even more than ever before)
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:19 AM
That kitten shows all the signs of sexual abuse.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:20 AM
I watched some of American Idol last night and ye gods, was it bad! Did you guys have any ideas for how the existence of that "I Walk the Line" performance could be made to fit in with a meaningful universe? Or does this just prove what the Dadaists have been saying all along? Was that performance itself Dada?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:22 AM
Emerson!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:22 AM
A-and, never again will I be able to listen to "I Go Out Walking After Midnight" (previously one of my favorite songs, at least among the subset of songs that I do not know the title of) without hearing some kinda dreadful southern-but-not-really drawl. Thanks Kelly, thanks a lot. I should have watched the E! profile of Tori Spelling instead.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:25 AM
Wow, Mandisa was better than ever before? I have to see that. I walked in in the middle of Paris. She was sounding good and looking fantastic. I just can't get excited about Chris. He always sounds the same. And for me to really enjoy rock music, it has to actually rock in a way that the singer can't provide on his own. I never feel moved by him.
My man Taylor chose a bad song last night. He was fun, but the song was repetitive and unmelodic.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:27 AM
TMK, American Idol is not the show for you.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:27 AM
The less said about Taylor's performance, the better.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:28 AM
Also, it should be noted that that version of "Walk The Line" could be a number one hit in this meaningful universe. Not saying it was good or bad or whatever, but that seems to be the general consensus among my music-industry friends who watched last night.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:31 AM
40 -- okay well I gotta ask since I was not paying 'tension to people's names: was the author of that execrable "I Walk the Line" one of the people you listed above as "great"? Cause that would beg into question the very foundations of my reality.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:32 AM
Yes, that was Chris.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:34 AM
The kitten is adorable! How dare some of you defile the adorableness of the kitten with your perverted sex jokes?
(The breed is called Bengal, by the way.)
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:42 AM
I liked Kellie singing "I Go Out Walkin' After Midnight." But every week her person depresses me more and more. I about cried when Ryan asked her if she's learned anything new this week, she scratched her head, and he said, "I'll let you think about that for a while."
Joe, Taylor was fine. He just chose a bad song. Don't be a hater. Stevie Wonder and Barry Manilow both think he's great.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:43 AM
Stevie Wonder doesn't have to watch him.
Yeah, I'm less enchanted with Kellie every time I see her.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:44 AM
Perhaps I'm just irritable in the early morning over here, but that kitten? Decidedly not adorable. In fact, the way the shot is framed, it's not clear it's even a kitten at all. It could be a full-grown cat, and enthusing about the cuteness of a full-grown cat is perverted.
I'm not really down with the decoration of its fur, either.
If you want cute, but don't want to bend knee to Cute Overlord, I recommend the baaaaaby animals livejournal group. Or, you could just approximate Dantean heaven on earth by contemplating the face of bubees for eternity.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:49 AM
Cause that would beg into question
Double-you Tee Eff to the max, man.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:51 AM
I wasn't gonna say it.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:53 AM
Hey, Cute Overlord is my reading error!
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:53 AM
enthusing about the cuteness of a full-grown cat is perverted
I am going to KICK YOUR ASS.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:57 AM
This is what artists and liars do. Sorry.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:57 AM
I'm not making a normative claim, Weiner. I'm just saying, that's a perverted thing to do.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:57 AM
Bitch, that adorable kitten would kill every mouse in the world if it could. PK would wake up in a house full of little dead-mouse "gifts".
Except for rodent-Americans, people don't understand how vicious those cute little things are.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:58 AM
enthusing about the cuteness of a full-grown cat is perverted
I've always felt this way about some of the cats sent in to Kitten War. It's really sad that people with full-grown not-cute cats are entering their sweetums into battle with invincible kitties.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:59 AM
Weiner, no matter how many times you mention it or how many pictures you link to, I still can't get over the idea that you have a cat. It just doesn't fit somehow.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:06 AM
57: ?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:08 AM
You think I mess up all those hyperlinks all by myself?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:09 AM
58 - I wish I could elaborate but I can't even wrap my mind around the idea of why it seems incongruous, let alone articulate it.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:11 AM
When I look at each of you, all I see is 1's and 0's. No pets.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:14 AM
I know what Becks means. It seems wrong to me too.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:14 AM
60 -- clearly it's because a Wiener is a dog.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:16 AM
Tia, check your e-mail.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:17 AM
Weiner, you give off more of a "gotta dog named Rusty who wears a bandanna and fetches the Frisbee at th epark and oh look there's a hot chick maybe she'll talk to me or marry this other person" vibe.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:18 AM
Part of it may just be the generalization that straight single men don't typically have cats.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:18 AM
I, having met Weiner, do not think his having a cat is incongruous.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:20 AM
I simply do not understand 57 or 62.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:21 AM
This is completely bizarre. A dog? Fetching Frisbee at the park? A freaking bandanna? Do you guys even know me? In a sense, I guess, not.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:21 AM
It doesn't take a lot to broadcast virile masculinity around here.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:23 AM
(I have always pictured Weiner with a parrot perched on his shoulder and/or a ferret.)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:23 AM
No, the dog/frisbee scenario seems off, too. Perhaps a dachshund or a beagle?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:25 AM
Or a big, elaborate fishtank to stare at instead of your "I don't own a TV".
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:26 AM
Straight single men don't have cats? Is that really a widespread perception? Every lonely guy in my family has a cat, or several. The house my grandfather built for the family in Amherst N.S., which he hated because the workmanship rebuked his sense of himself every time he came home to it, reeked of cats. My uncle Garn was killed when the place burned down in the '80s; God knows how many cats went with him. My uncle Gerald had a whole cat language he solemnly pronounced. My dad was such a Johnson buff he named our cat "Hodge."
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:30 AM
55: Yes, our cat is a great hunter. Nonetheless, I love cats in their catness and mice in their mouseness, though never the twain shall (hopefully) meet.
Also, Ben is wrong. Adult cats can be adorable, though obviously they can't, as a class, compete with kittens. But Ben's statement clearly smacks of kittenism, and should not be tolerated.
Weiner is totally a cat kinda guy. Which is a compliment, she says, to forestall the inevitable jokes. While, come to think of it, simply inviting other ones. Oh well.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:30 AM
I've always wanted to get a pug and name him "Boswell." When people ask to meet him, I'd say, "This is my biographer."
But I'm a lame 18th-century nerd.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:31 AM
It's true. My sister's cats are cute, as have some iterations of my dad's.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:33 AM
I had plans to get two cats and give each of them three names, but now I can't remember all of them.
One cat was to be called Hermes Trismegistus, aka something else, aka Jacques (I think); the other was to have been named Finn MacCool, aka Finn, aka Marcel (I think?).
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:35 AM
It is a mistake to own cats simply for the naming priveleges -- you can as easily name a Chia pet, and they are lower maintenance.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:39 AM
I've mentioned my father's imaginary cats -- Ceremony, Umbrage, and Nostalgic? Their only function is to yowl when, respectively, stood upon, taken, or waxed.
He used to have an actual cat, passed on from my sister. A beautiful but incredibly stupid Abyssinian -- the Derek Zoolander of cats.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:39 AM
Wolfson, you're the authentic face of teh lame.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:40 AM
It is necessary, TMK (why the pseudonym, btw?) that these be the names of cats.
Plus, I like cats in their own right.
Maybe I can name them "Hermes Trismegistus" and "Herman Dreiwenigstens".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:41 AM
That hurts, Labs.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:41 AM
Count me among those who think Matt and Catt make perfect sense.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:42 AM
76: My students once said that Boswell reminded them of some little cartoon dog, always jumping up and down and yapping "let's play! let's play!" and humping Johnson's leg.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:43 AM
84: Agree. Weiner seems like a total cat guy.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:44 AM
73: what, you mean I'm not the only one here? (erm, don't have a fish tank either)
Posted by soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:46 AM
Unfortunately for this thread, Johnson's response was "You dogs, I'll have a romp with you."
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:46 AM
why the pseudonym, btw?
I could ask the same of you. If you recall, back when the crowd were discussing Alameida's relationship with her asshole high school art teacher, ac and LizardBreath (IIRC) had a side conversation about a girl in their school who had had an affair with one of their teachers -- she went by "the Modesto kid", though I know not why; perhaps she came from the same town as I -- I decided then and there, that would be my pseudonym henceforth.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:46 AM
84: so counted, as long as you allow that Hatt is much more appropriate than a bandana, also.
Posted by soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:47 AM
Oh dear. No, Jeremy, the teacher went by (or rather, was known among the students as) The Modesto Kid. Now, that story is the only one I know of his molesting students, and he was otherwise a perfectly pleasant fellow, but I wouldn't have neamed myself for him.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:48 AM
Would have been better if Johnson had said "You cats..." with a Sammy Davis Jr. impression.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:49 AM
I carp because I love, Ben.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:50 AM
#84:
The cat sat on the Matt. Practical Criticism by I. A. Richards.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:52 AM
LB -- I'm happy with it. It doesn't really make me think about your molesting teacher so much as about my home town. I'll probably drop it in a little while anyway, every day I think of a pseudonym I would like better.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:52 AM
Catt in a Hatt with a Matt!
My cat is kittenish-cute. Grew up to be a small delicate batshit insane but friendly two year old cat.
If cats had scales, however, we would see them for the vicious predators they are. It's cute when a fluffball stalks your toes. If it looked like a lizard, I'd shoot it.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:52 AM
All right, but changing your name is going to affect your placement in the "most prolific commenter' awards.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:53 AM
Matt, I was totally making shit up. I do that sometimes.
I was a single guy with a cat. I also lived with the same male roommate for five years. Come, join me as an ex-ghey(TM).
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:06 PM
97 -- I'm not even in there yet. My alter/ego is though. (As is My Alter Ego.)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:06 PM
Only had the same male roommate for three years, but we had two cats.
You nailed "oh look there's a hot chick maybe she'll talk to me or marry this other person," anyway.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:08 PM
Out of curiosity, why did you call your teacher by my pseudonym?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:10 PM
I picture Weiner with a small dog. One of those white curly-haired breeds.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:14 PM
I also picture Weiner as resembling exactly a fellow I knew in my youth by the name of Matt Weiner.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:18 PM
(except with parrot and/or ferret, neither of which the Matt Weiner of my youth possessed.)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:19 PM
OK, you're all missing the point here. Weiner may be a cat person instead of a dog person but what I can't fathom is that he would be the type of person to wake up one day, decide "I need to procure myself a cat", go to the pound/breeder/classifieds, evaluate suitable candidates, and bring one home. I can possibly envision a scenario where he adopts a friendly stray that takes a liking to him and starts hanging around his dwelling or a kitten that gets pawned off on him by a well meaning friend but the former scenario is the one that baffles.
How did you come into possession of this cat, Weiner?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:26 PM
I am thinking he was taken in by an Internet kitten-spam.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:29 PM
I picture Weiner with a small dog. One of those white curly-haired breeds.
Tia, it is OVER between us. I used to live above such a dog. Cute if stuffed, but annoyingly yappy as all hell.
105, on the other hand, nails it. Some well-meaning friends were having a baby and decided that the cat was incompatible with that, so they pawned off the cat (and, eventually, a stray who was hanging around) on me and my roommate. I was extremely enthusiastic about getting a cat, and glad I didn't have to go through the process you describe, which would probably have defeated me.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:33 PM
WE HAD A FOREIGN CUSTOMER WHO BOARDED A HUGE NUMBER OF KITTENS AT OUR PET CARE FACILITY, WHO LATER DIED AS A RESULT OF A PLANE CRASH. BEFORE HIS DEATH, HE ARRANGED FOR THE KITTENS TO BE ADOPTED BY THE HEIR TO THE NIGERIAN THRONE.
SINCE THE DEATH OF THIS CUSTOMER, I PERSONALLY HAVE WATCHED WITH KEEN INTEREST TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE KITTENS. THE NIGERIAN ROYAL FAMILY HAS SHOWN NO INTEREST IN FOLLOWING THROUGH ON THEIR COMMITMENT. ON THIS NOTE I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOSE NAME SHALL BE USED AS NEXT OF KIN AS NO ONE HAS COME FORWARD TO BE NEXT OF KIN.
IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH MY COUNTRY'S FOREIGN TRADE MINISTER AFTER I WAS CONVINCED BY PROVIDENCE YOU COULD PROVIDE A HOME FOR THESE KITTENS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL OR CALL ME ON MY NUMBER +87-332-990-1286, PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME ON MY OFFICE NUMBER.
TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
RESPECTFULLY,
Mr. GARRINGTON MCCLEWES
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:36 PM
Thanks to 107, the world makes a little more sense than it did this morning. Thank you, Weiner.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:38 PM
Although your "extreme enthusiasm" still gives me a little bit of pause.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:39 PM
the teacher went by (or rather, was known among the students as) The Modesto Kid. Now, that story is the only one I know of his molesting students…
After which he was known as "The Molesto Kid"?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:40 PM
Wow cool, it got through the comment-spam filter. I had my doubts it would.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:40 PM
Weiner, I meant no offence. I myself once fell madly in love with a chihuahua I dogsat named Peanut. I cried when I had to give him back.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:41 PM
Wolfson's witticism in 111 was at the heart of a cheer used by fans of teams playing football against Modesto High.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:42 PM
(I have always pictured Weiner with a parrot perched on his shoulder and/or a ferret.)
and a carrot. in a garret.
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:48 PM
I have a secret carrot.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:49 PM
I can't bear it.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:50 PM
I guess I can trust you to share it, JD
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:50 PM
I can't bear it.
I won't stop now even if I tear it.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:54 PM
If I had an apple, I would pare it
but if I had a number, I would square it
That is all the action it would merit.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 12:58 PM
Anybody want a peanut?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 1:20 PM
(Ben makes sweet love each night to Tom Skerrit)
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 1:21 PM
Jealous, Chopper?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 1:32 PM
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Posted by ralph | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 2:01 PM
Chopper, I bet Ben would give you a chance if you promised to wear the sombrero.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 2:07 PM
96 - boh? having a little predator around who is much, much smaller than you - about foot-size - is super-cute.
smart, canny cats who are good hunters are awesome -- they're good at what they do.
especially when some of us, ahem, live in old apartment buildings with mice and the occasional roach. (boston, joyous somerville, new york).
i miss cats...
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 2:11 PM
Jealous, Chopper?
Mmmmm. Tom Skerrit has the most manly shouldrs...
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 2:15 PM
Fishing Cat
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 3:02 PM
Ooo. I've often stood outside the snow leopard cage at the Bronx Zoo, and wondered what the injury rate was to zookeepers who just couldn't resist trying to snuggle with the big kitties, and then got et. I'm a mature, responsible adult, but something about big cats just makes me go "Oooo, fluffy."
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 3:11 PM
me too. it is so hard to resist putting my hand between the zoo cage bars...
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 3:12 PM
Did you guys read "The Life of Pi"?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 6:10 PM
I brought ny 15-month-old to the zoo on Saturday--she absolutely loved the cougars. One was pacing right in front of (behind a chain-link fence) and Audrey was ecstatically shouting "ditty! ditty!" (her version of "kitty") over and over.
Those fuckers are big.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 8:33 PM
I really loved Life of Pi.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 8:43 PM
133 -- I didn't love it but thought it was fun to read. I got reminded of it by those guys talking about cuddling with leopards and such like.
132 -- kids at the zoo are way fun.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:10 PM
While the spam comment is still around, "Please smile" is verboten.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:28 PM
But after the spam comment is gone, it's fine to say "please smile"? Also, what if the person you're saying it to is posing for a photograph?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:50 PM
I fear that 135 was a disguised biscuit conditional. Help me!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:53 PM
Weatherson is coming to give a talk at stanford, d'ya think I should go to dinner with him?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:56 PM
Yes. Always go to dinner with visiting speakers, particularly if you might have something to say to them. It's in the manual.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 10:58 PM
I'm not sure I do have anything to say to him.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:03 PM
You can talk about blogs. Or me.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:04 PM
Always go to dinner with visiting speakers, particularly if you might have something to say to them.
Does the second clause of this sentence indicate that the first shouldn't be taken at face value?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:06 PM
When I was a kid, I was charged by some large, vicious mammal while at the zoo. I don't remember it at all - maybe it was a tiger? - but it freaked out everyone involved since the animal came right up to the edge of the cage. My parents said the trainer came out and scolded it and apologized to us for its behavior.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:06 PM
Go. It's helpful to be known as the grad student who is always willing to chat with visting faculty. And, dude. Free food.
Plus, it's basic networking. If you don't have anything interesting to say, attend the talk, make a note, and think of a good question.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:08 PM
Oh, we're talking about something else now? If you go to dinner with a speaker, you probably should have at least one thing to say. The few times I've been to dinner with speakers - always as part of a group - I've felt pressure to do something that shows you're making use of the speaker's knowledge/expertise/connections/ability to get the department to pay for better food.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:09 PM
126: But I maintain that you only value the playful antics of the cute, adorable foot-long predator, good as it is at chasing mice & roaches, because its predatory skills are encased in a purring, fluffy shell. I might value a predatory lizard for chasing down mice, but if it wrapped its scaly body around my leg, as my cat often does, and pretended to disbowel it, and gnawed on my ankle, I'd freak right the fuck out.
Lesson: If you are going to be deadly, be cute about it.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:16 PM
142 wasn't primarily intended as snark, but I had neglected the term I meant to invoke. Does what 142 describes count as implication cancelling, or no, because what's being cancelled is textual, rather than implied?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:20 PM
My sister had a lizard before she got a cat, but the lizard was pretty much always in a cage except for its last few trips to a vet. I think she's much happier with the cat.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:25 PM
126: I disagree. The fact that they, like us, are mammals no doubt invokes the "cute" response, but all predators are very interesting to watch.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:25 PM
Interesting, sure. In a cage. Play stalking another lizard. If it gnaws on my hand, I freak right the fuck out.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:27 PM
Probably not (and I think that what you mean is "Implicature" (and did you know that My Paper on implicature canceling is about to come out, which I celebrated by taking it down from my website (and this and a few other comments on this thread indicate that I have a Big Ego, yes))), because what is seemingly canceled is part of the literal meaning of the first clause. IOW what you said. It's an interesting question because I'm not sure what 'particularly' means; if it's an intensifier it need not cancel the first clause, as in something like "It is good for you to go to dinner with speakers, and it is very good to do so when you have something to say to them."
Ben, I don't know what he's speaking on, but you should have at least one thing to say to him; "I too have a blog" would be something. He's not difficult to draw out. Maybe you can talk about truth in fiction. Cala in 144 also speaks Teh True.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:28 PM
I can't wait until 'Teh True' replaces 'Truth' in a philosophy journal.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:33 PM
Yeah, I'm not going to be saying I have a blog in front of other department members, actually. Though I recall that in the earlier iteration of my blog, I posted a lengthy if rambling and incoherent criticism of his paper "My Favorite Puzzle" to which he linked in a favorable way, and then the following schoolyear one of my classmates said she found out about it (=my blog in its earlier incarnation) from Weatherson's.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:33 PM
It's certainly true that I should have used the word implicature, but that's not to definetly say that I meant implicature, just that my comment would have made more sense if I used it.
Also, I'm not currently writing anything (nor have in the past, so it's unclear why I used currently), but I am lead editing a really good piece called "No/vel Crim/inal Fra/ud" by Sam/uel Bue/ll. However, the link to the internet accessible version of it, last I checked, opens a .pdf of it with the correct number of pages, but all of them after the abstract are blank.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-22-06 11:46 PM
If he's mentioned favorably something you wrote about him, you definitely have something to say to him.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 12:01 AM
144 gets it exactly right.
The primary concern is to demonstrate that you're not freaking out and hiding under your bed, en route to dropping out of the profession, as has happened to approximately 20% of my PhD class.
Chin up!
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 12:29 AM
lizards can be pretty. like the house geckos we had all over the walls of our house in the equatorial country i lived with my family around age 12. jewel green and delicate.
my cat at the time made short work of all the bigger lizards... including one species twice her size (though they were mostly tail) and suddenly we had no more big orange-tailed lizards in the garden anymore. she had to move on to the tinier species of poisonous snakes, which she would lay out in rows on the terrace but knew enough not to eat. so cats win at predatorhood as well as fluffiness...
[end of storytime!]
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 4:16 AM
Wolfson, I can't imagine you not having anything to say. So Weiner's "always" is correct. Go. But for heaven's sake, dress properly.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 6:59 AM
My Mom's house here had bats and a nest of hibernating snakes awhile back, but no lizards.
When Wolfson meets Weatherson he can very subtly dangle Teh Hip in front of him, without ever saying in so many words that some other sites are in continual risk of Teh Stuffy.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 7:08 AM
Wolfson should go to the talk, note all grammatical errors and infelicities, and in his inimitable manner politely point them out after the talk, in lieu of asking a question. If he does not do this, he is not really a grammar bitch.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 03-23-06 7:48 AM