Cause $1000 seems like a reasonable amount to pay to whoever procures the virgin -- seems like it would be on the low side as a payment for marrying him.
You know, the combination of the 'buying a virgin' thing, and then going straight to 'pig-worshipping' when he's crossed -- who here thinks he wants not so much a bride as a sacrifice to his Dark Lord?
And yet you don't have to pay that much for a quality virgin. At least if my experience is any indication, a woman's virginity can be had for the low low price of two bottles of wine.
What a nuisance. Sure this isn't some sort of disorderly conduct? I'd walk softly if I were the Sheriff, just to avoid a pissing contest, but would like to have a talk with the guy.
11 - I'd wager that the guy has converted to his own version of Islam and thinks the negative reaction is due to islamophobic rednecks. Hence "white supremacist" as well as "pig worshipping" ie pork eating.
Well apo, below a certain age and that's just rape. Try freshmen dorms. Or the area behind high school cafeterias where the bad girls are smoking cigarettes.
Freshman dorms? Wine will probably be overkill, then. I'd recommend my tried-and-true concoction of grain alcohol and Gatorade, served in a plastic bin. Never fails.
Either 14 and 15, or he's misconstruing the Jewish and Islamic prohibitions on eating pig as a fetishization of it. I mean, only a Christian would be anti-heathen, right?
But the other religions don't call them "heathens," do they? Jews and Mormons, for example, would be anti-"gentile," and I'm sure there's a specific word in Islam.
Too-literal an interpretation of the guy's words is probably futile, though.
18: Did you hear about that guy in Florida who got arrested for going door-to-door, representing himself as a doctor and offerign to do breast exams? He got turned in when one of the women suspected that he wasn't really a doctor--because he didn't use gloves during the exam.
The age of consent is eighteen. With parental consent, parties can marry at age sixteen (and younger) and, in addition, younger parties may receive a license by reason of pregnancy or the birth of a child.
Was he hoping to impregnate his virgin twelve year-old before marrying her, and wouldn't that run up against some sort of statutory rape law?
IANAL, but the ad seems to skirt pretty near the edge of... er... subordining... something.
There have got to be limits to that paranthetical "and younger," though; even with parental consent, a twelve year-old shouldn't be marrying, for Christ's sake. I can vaguely perceive the justification for allowing a pregnant fifteen year-old girl marrying her sixteen year-old boyfriend if everybody involved really really wants to settle the matter that way, but that's got to be an exceptional case.
Any parents who accepted $1000 for consenting to this guy's marrying their daughter would have to be up for some kind of child prostitution or child enslavement charge, wouldn't they? (Oh please, law, back me up here!)
As always, though, the calabat has the right of it.
Teofilo -- the acronym in the post above David's is one that, if you were to read it aloud as a word rather than letters, would cause Beavis and/or Butthead to snigger.
Around 1984 there was a front-page story in the New York Times about some guy in Kentucky marrying a 12-year-old. The paper had a picture of the guy and his bride. She was holding a stuffed bunny. Totally disgusting. The girl's parents were totally fine with this. Dunno if they got a $1,000 bounty or anything.
"A cult of a swine-god Moccus has been referred to. The boar was a divine symbol on standards, coins, and altars, and many bronze images of the animal have been found. These were temple treasures, and in one case the boar is three-horned. 1 But it was becoming the symbol of a goddess, as is seen by the altars on which it accompanies a goddess, perhaps of fertility, and by a bronze image of a goddess seated on a boar."
I don't think he was dressing you down so much as just making the little-guy point that size and strength probably works socially to your advantage more than the reverse, so complaining that you are disadvantaged when women or smaller men can be less cautious about expresing anger than you have to be is kind of a one-sided way of looking at it.
Was I complaining? I thought that point was obvious in anything but the most intimate encounters. The fact that it still was felt to operate there, where I would have thought the personalities of people who've known each other for years would be vastly more important was my point. You mean that wasn't clear?
Not entirely. That is, you were clearly complaining about it in that context, but a hasty reader could have been uncertain that the complaint was limited to that context. Emerson might have missed the limitation through reading in haste, but I don't think he was doing more than making the general point.
This wouldn't bother me if I'd made some convoluted reference on some intellectual point, as I often do. But I thought I'd gone out of my way to concede the general point, to the extent of providing examples. So I am a little taken aback, not so much by him as by you.
I don't think I was misreading you, just saying that Emerson might, not entirely unreasonably, have taken what you wrote as a occasion to jump off into the general topic. After all, this is all virtual -- no one could reasonably be critiquing your actual demeanor, because no one's ever seen it.
The article doesn't spell out whom he'd pay that $1000. I take it his sign doesn't either.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:36 PM
You mean, would he pay the bride directly or the purveyor?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:40 PM
He'd trade the $1000 for the locket key, obviously.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:41 PM
Cause $1000 seems like a reasonable amount to pay to whoever procures the virgin -- seems like it would be on the low side as a payment for marrying him.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:43 PM
Anyway, what happened to just putting the ad up on Craigslist? It'll reach a wider audience and less trouble with the neighbors.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:44 PM
You've really gotta offer more than $1000 for a quality bride these days. It's a sellers' market.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:44 PM
You know, the combination of the 'buying a virgin' thing, and then going straight to 'pig-worshipping' when he's crossed -- who here thinks he wants not so much a bride as a sacrifice to his Dark Lord?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:45 PM
And yet you don't have to pay that much for a quality virgin. At least if my experience is any indication, a woman's virginity can be had for the low low price of two bottles of wine.
Posted by Sommer | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:46 PM
more than $1000 for a quality bride
That's why I'm really more interested in quantity.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:46 PM
8: I wouldn't call that buying, exactly.
What a nuisance. Sure this isn't some sort of disorderly conduct? I'd walk softly if I were the Sheriff, just to avoid a pissing contest, but would like to have a talk with the guy.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:50 PM
Is there any religious group that could be said (or even smeared) as worshipping pigs? I just don't understand.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:52 PM
the low low price of two bottles of wine
Wow. I have enough wine in my house to deflower an entire girl scout troop or two. I should start calling around.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 2:57 PM
Is there any religious group that could be said (or even smeared) as worshipping pigs?
He'll not accept any Nicobarese virgins, and that's final.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:00 PM
11: perhaps it's a roundabout way of saying "only Jews and Muslims need apply".
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:01 PM
11 - I'd wager that the guy has converted to his own version of Islam and thinks the negative reaction is due to islamophobic rednecks. Hence "white supremacist" as well as "pig worshipping" ie pork eating.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:02 PM
He seems to be implying that anyone under 12 or over 24 is either a pig worshipper, a heathen, or a white supremacist.
I'll choose.... heathen, I guess.
Posted by mrh | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:02 PM
Well apo, below a certain age and that's just rape. Try freshmen dorms. Or the area behind high school cafeterias where the bad girls are smoking cigarettes.
Posted by Sommer | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:03 PM
12: Free wine with your
breast examscoliosis test?Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:04 PM
OT, but .
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:05 PM
that's just rape
"Just"? Don't try to minimize my community outreach work, Sommer.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:06 PM
Freshman dorms? Wine will probably be overkill, then. I'd recommend my tried-and-true concoction of grain alcohol and Gatorade, served in a plastic bin. Never fails.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:06 PM
Either 14 and 15, or he's misconstruing the Jewish and Islamic prohibitions on eating pig as a fetishization of it. I mean, only a Christian would be anti-heathen, right?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:06 PM
What the...?
OT but hilarious.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:07 PM
22: I think there are anti-heathens in all the major religions. Usually aren't too hard to find.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:09 PM
I don't know if it amounts to worship, but there are The Pig Olympics.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:11 PM
and thinks the negative reaction is due to islamophobic rednecks.
And really, what other explanation could there be?
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:11 PM
But the other religions don't call them "heathens," do they? Jews and Mormons, for example, would be anti-"gentile," and I'm sure there's a specific word in Islam.
Too-literal an interpretation of the guy's words is probably futile, though.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:13 PM
Oh, for...
http://www.thewormbook.com/helmintholog/archives/2006/04/a_subbing_error.html
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:14 PM
Hey, there's a poll at the link about whether they should pass a law to make the sign illegal. I voted "no."
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:14 PM
Infidels, perhaps?
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:15 PM
Dave, I saw the link in your first comment. 'Tis funny indeed.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:15 PM
27 - unbeliever? But I bet the guy has cooked up his own version of islam and maybe even never met an imam.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:17 PM
Kaffir.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 3:55 PM
18: Did you hear about that guy in Florida who got arrested for going door-to-door, representing himself as a doctor and offerign to do breast exams? He got turned in when one of the women suspected that he wasn't really a doctor--because he didn't use gloves during the exam.
Posted by Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:32 PM
I already blogged that at my site that you don't read, BG. </Farber>
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:47 PM
Do too, apo. I just sat down in front of a computer for the first time today. I don't usually comment on your posts about sea life, but I skim them.
Posted by Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:57 PM
Here, too.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 4:59 PM
According to the Encyclopedia of Everyday Law, in Oklahoma
Was he hoping to impregnate his virgin twelve year-old before marrying her, and wouldn't that run up against some sort of statutory rape law?IANAL, but the ad seems to skirt pretty near the edge of... er... subordining... something.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:08 PM
He may have been hoping for parental consent in exchange for the grand.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:12 PM
It's remarkable that that acronym caught on. Are people so out of touch with their inner twelve year olds?
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:12 PM
Hmm, let me think.
Or, let the calabat think!
THWACK!
What a jackass.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:23 PM
What acronym, David?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:32 PM
Are you saying it's an initialism?
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:35 PM
That should have been "suborning," I think.
There have got to be limits to that paranthetical "and younger," though; even with parental consent, a twelve year-old shouldn't be marrying, for Christ's sake. I can vaguely perceive the justification for allowing a pregnant fifteen year-old girl marrying her sixteen year-old boyfriend if everybody involved really really wants to settle the matter that way, but that's got to be an exceptional case.
Any parents who accepted $1000 for consenting to this guy's marrying their daughter would have to be up for some kind of child prostitution or child enslavement charge, wouldn't they? (Oh please, law, back me up here!)
As always, though, the calabat has the right of it.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:43 PM
Teofilo -- the acronym in the post above David's is one that, if you were to read it aloud as a word rather than letters, would cause Beavis and/or Butthead to snigger.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:50 PM
Wait! Maybe it could be the porn movie version of "I, Claudius"!
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 6:51 PM
Around 1984 there was a front-page story in the New York Times about some guy in Kentucky marrying a 12-year-old. The paper had a picture of the guy and his bride. She was holding a stuffed bunny. Totally disgusting. The girl's parents were totally fine with this. Dunno if they got a $1,000 bounty or anything.
Posted by Frederick | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 7:06 PM
Ok, I see. I've thought the same thing myself.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 7:22 PM
Where's Emerson, anyway?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:18 PM
13:Celtic Boar Worship
"A cult of a swine-god Moccus has been referred to. The boar was a divine symbol on standards, coins, and altars, and many bronze images of the animal have been found. These were temple treasures, and in one case the boar is three-horned. 1 But it was becoming the symbol of a goddess, as is seen by the altars on which it accompanies a goddess, perhaps of fertility, and by a bronze image of a goddess seated on a boar."
Posted by bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 8:25 PM
Perhaps he is referring to Gullinbursti (seen here in his Marvel comics form).
Anyone in Oklahoma whose form of worship includes Gullinbursti is likely to be a neo-Nazi Aryan supremacist, so I think we have something here.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 10:15 PM
Nicobarese and ancient Celts need not apply. He doesn't want your filthy daughters.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-20-06 10:15 PM
Emerson's around. He was dressing me down for not containing my big-guy anger just yesterday or the day before. What was that all about?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:13 AM
Whoa, whoa, there big guy. No need to get all confrontational.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:26 AM
I don't think he was dressing you down so much as just making the little-guy point that size and strength probably works socially to your advantage more than the reverse, so complaining that you are disadvantaged when women or smaller men can be less cautious about expresing anger than you have to be is kind of a one-sided way of looking at it.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:35 AM
Was I complaining? I thought that point was obvious in anything but the most intimate encounters. The fact that it still was felt to operate there, where I would have thought the personalities of people who've known each other for years would be vastly more important was my point. You mean that wasn't clear?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:40 AM
And if you've got a problem with that, Emerson will punch you right in the fucking kneecap, dude.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:40 AM
You mean that wasn't clear?
Not entirely. That is, you were clearly complaining about it in that context, but a hasty reader could have been uncertain that the complaint was limited to that context. Emerson might have missed the limitation through reading in haste, but I don't think he was doing more than making the general point.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:43 AM
This wouldn't bother me if I'd made some convoluted reference on some intellectual point, as I often do. But I thought I'd gone out of my way to concede the general point, to the extent of providing examples. So I am a little taken aback, not so much by him as by you.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:50 AM
IDP, seriously, tone it down. You're all up in my grill here, and it's freaking me out.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:52 AM
I don't think I was misreading you, just saying that Emerson might, not entirely unreasonably, have taken what you wrote as a occasion to jump off into the general topic. After all, this is all virtual -- no one could reasonably be critiquing your actual demeanor, because no one's ever seen it.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-21-06 8:56 AM
would you have written the socialist comment if you had never met spanky?
Posted by Hank Chinaski | Link to this comment | 04-26-06 7:14 AM