You know I appreciate the information in point #1, but I think it could be presented in a more compelling fashion. We need a tournament in which people get knocked out by the spiciness of the food. It's probably preferable if it's painful.
"drug education" frequently backfires. "They said I would be a junkie by now but I'm fine?! They lied about PCP!!! and so on.
This is something that worries me somewhat, as a specialist in the epistemology of testimony. Tell people a bunch of bullshit about sex and marijuana and things like that, and why expect them to believe you about drugs that actually are dangerous? Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Ah, drug education. Officer Wilson told me in D.A.R.E. that everyone who did cocaine once got addicted immediately. I fantasized about making my "Pledge to Stay Drug Free" an essay about why I was not going to be instructed to make promises about my future by government propagandists, but I wussed out.
I remain very grateful that my drug and sex education in high school was taught by a crazy Latvian psychoanalyst who believed in providing us with the most accurate scientific information then available. She talked about abstinence, sure! 100% effective! but also in embarrassing detail about contraception and STDs. She talked about artists and philosophers taking psychedelics in the 1960s--who however often found that their paintings and writings made no sense when they sobered up. She smoked cigarettes with a special tar-reduction filter out behind the science lab, and she always admitted upfront that she was addicted and that it was going to kill her. An extraordinary woman.
And yeah, a lot of people did pot and psychedelics soon after taking her class (not Mormon me!), but as far as I know, very few were doing harder drugs, which should count for something, right?
I think the reason it usually takes Alamedia's threads a while to get hopping is that the general reaction is "damn, well, how could I ever hope to top that?"
Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Metaphor, Matt. Metaphor. Children also know that their stuffed animals aren't really alive, but it's unwise, cruel even, to point that out to them when they're worried about one being lost, having hurt feelings, or whatever.
Grappa's good, just not good enough for how much it costs. So ben's plan is a good one, assuming the other person making free with the dimes is pleasant (enough) company.
Also, think what dsquared meant was that Bourdain's speedballs lacked a certain BAM!
One of the more traumatic events of my childhood is that my dad took my cat's two remaining kittens "to a farm" on my birthday. My kindergarten teacher, to whom we'd given the third kitten, lost it and like a total dumbass, actually told me.
God. Now I'm going to have a good cry. Thanks a lot for bringing that all up again, Matt.
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years. PK does. He got angry last year b/c some little girl at his school told him Santa wasn't real. But, as PK says, "she believes in God, and everyone knows God's not real. But Santa is."
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor. It's not like a *horrible* secret, the way killing children's pets on their birthday is.
What's wrong with you people? Ouzo and raki taste pretty much exactly like pastis, which is anise-flavored deliciousness in medium quantities on hot days. Grappa, especially when someone else pays for it, is also quite nice.
Now, thinking through spiffy liqueurs I know and like, I'm making myself thirsty for some Calvados, which I really can't afford.
My mother was sorely disappointed when I launched into an explanation of how the whole North Pole thing was simply not feasible, and I was five or six years old. I remember my justification involving a lot of talk about how hard it would be to get food there to feed the elves, or something; something about the economics of it. But, I did get that it was just a fun story. There was no trauma there.
Calvados isn't a liqueur. If you can find Laird's bonded apple brandy (not Laird's applejack, which is blended), it will stand you in good stead, for something like $20.
I hate to admit that you're right, Wolfson, and thanks for the suggestion.
It's weird, Drymala, I've become more and more conservative about cocktails and will probably not venture forth from the slightly dirty vodka martini in only a few years. The "interesting" ones seem to be so damned sweet. The first time I had an apple martini--late in the trend, I'll admit--I nearly gagged. What do you recommend I try to reverse my stodgifying trend?
Go retro? All the phony martinis are incredibly sweet, but there are lots of out-of-fashion cocktails that taste good. I'm fond of Manhattans, and gimlets, and rusty nails, to name some.
A plum saketini was the most memorably yummy alcoholic drink I've ever had. The plum pit was floating in it. Mmmm. I think the club was Paisely; this was a few years ago though; I don't know if they still have them.
Yeah, I guess I don't mind the sweet when I'm experimenting. VYNL and Vintage (conveniently located across the street from one another!) have good cocktails. Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city. I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour. I like a sweet/sour combo in a cocktail. After Wolfson posted about it, I had a sidecar at Blue Mill Tavern, and I enjoyed it, and I might order it again, though it's not really my kind of cocktail.
I like South American drinks -- piscos and mojitos (I guess that's Cuban). I dunno. If I'm in a restaurant with a particular regional cuisine, I like to stick with a drink from that region to enhance the experience, even with beer. Beyond that, I just pick what sounds good.
For me, stuff like whiskey is way too sweet. I can only drink whiskey in a whiskey sour.
I did just realize that I'd named three fairly sweet drinks -- the sweetness of whiskey doesn't offend me like the sweetness of an 'appletini', in that at least it's complex.
48: It's my opinion that if you (or I, for that matter) were to go to a bartender and ask for a martini, and no qualifying information were subsequently exchanged, there would be at least a 40% of it being made with vodka.
Your average sour mix is way way sweet, though. (True story! A whisky sour was the first alcoholic drink I ever tasted. It's never really tasted good to me since.)
I've eyed the sidecar on some menus, but it looks awfully sweet. I think your advice to go retro is good, though, LB.
I've enjoyed some vodka gimlets when they were well made. Okay, I enjoyed way too many vodka gimlets at a very expensive place once when someone else was picking up the tab and have looked at them with some trepidation ever since.
ONE mojito is good.
The concept of a saketini is intriguing.
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
I recommend the Old Fashioned if it's made correctly. Unfortunately, it's almost never made correctly. If the bartender says "a WHAT?" when you order, switch to something else.
And Standpipe gets it exactly right. Especially galling is when I order a martini and the sorry-excuse-for-a-barman behind the bar asks, "Any particular kind of vodka?" The proper response is something along the lines of, "I don't know. What do you think would go well with your liver and some fava beans?"
Someone tried to serve me a "Hudson martini" last night. I asked what was in it, and if I remember correctly the primary ingredients were rum and blood orange. I asked if the only thing that made it a martini was the glass it was in, and was met with a pretty blank stare.
And while we're on the subject, James Bond is an idiot. A shaken martini comes out all cloudy and watery-ass. It should be stirred quickly just to chill it, you don't want to melt a lot of the ice.
The only real reason to shake a cocktail is to make it frothy. And anyway you're not Tom Cruise. Lots of old classic cocktails contained an egg or eggwhite, and they froth very nicely when shaken. But there's nothing in a martini to froth.
Also, as Jackmormon notes, most bars err way too much on the side of sweetness when they make things such as Old Fashioneds, Sours, Collins, etc. The main reason for this is that instead of fresh fruit and/or fruit juice, they use bottled mixes which, in addition to being too sweet, often have a cooked taste and just plain aren't very good.
I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour.
Sounds awesome, though I will happily concede that it is not a martini. As does whatever LB is talking about in 54. I've often longed for an alcoholic ginger beer drink.
All a Moscow Mule is is ginger beer, lime juice, and vodka (hence, Moscow). I don't remember the proportions offhand, but it can't be terribly sensitive. I've read that they're supposed to be served in frosted copper cups, but I've never been in a bar that had such available.
Hm, I simply could not get into the site to reply to M/tch's calumny for a while. Wikipedia had an article (redirected from "vodka martini") explaining that, while the trend in the last twenty years has been towards mixing with vodka, sanctimonious purists hold that there is no martini but gin martini. I lost the url during the "waiting for Unfogged...." business, though. Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Part of the downside of calling all these things "martinis", besides the fact that it's just wrong, is that little or no thought goes into the names. Adding a "baked" before "apple" is about as imaginative as it gets.
And as some old commenter once said, cocktails invented after about 1950 or so are to be regarded with deep suspicion. People back than drank a lot more than we do, and they knew what they were doing.
I tried to brew my own ginger beer once, following a highly recommended internet recipe. Maybe there was a step I missed, but I could taste the yeast fermentation in the final product and it was gnasty. Other people I served it to liked it, though, despite all my caveats; they even accepted liter-bottles of the stuff to take home!
There's a Carribean place on 14th, about a block east of Union Square, that has wonderful homemade ginger ale (a little too sweet for me). It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
Then you have no business ordering a martini, madam.
67,68: Well I'll be. I never watched that show much, but the few times I did I thought it was pretty well written, almost annoyingly so. Anyway, now I want to go drinking with Jed Bartlett. I'm sure he'd pay for everything too, that's just the kind of classy john guy he is.
The first line of 71 should be in italics, as it's a quote from Jackmormon.
Also, I think the frosted metal cups thing for some drinks (I'm thinking particularly of mint juleps) is pretty whack. I don't know what all those people drinking so much back then when the tradition was established were thinking, but it's an indication that we can safely ignore their tastes and opinions.
M/tch, until about 1930, they were serving gin with laudanum, or maybe amphetamines, or maybe a little strychnine just for kicks. Maybe your window should narrow in a bit.
And what the hell should I call a dry, somewhat dirty vodka (non) martini, so as not to offend the purists?
Colder, isn't it? The metal has a higher thermal capacity than glass, so a drink in a chilled metal cup will stay colder, longer, than one served in a glass. (The 'copper for a MM, silver for a mint julep' thing is just silliness, but the metal thing makes sense.)
72 is pretty redundant, except for the last link, but I think what you were brewing and what I like to drink from bottles are basically different drinks. Although if the alcoholic ginger beer came out like what I like, but alcoholic, I would drink it all day.
75: Yep, colder, but if your drink gets hot, it means you're drinking too slow. Also, metal sweats more than glass, and I don't like the taste/feel of the metal.
And gin and laudanum is a fine beverage. Just don't go ordering it with vodka.
With a martini the classic gin plus touch of vermouth kind is the best, by far, for me. Although I did have one which had pisang ambon and lychee in it which was tolerable -- not overly sweet, just more perfumed than a normal one.
Re: 50 and whiskey being sweet: someone is drinking the wrong whisky. One of those American bourbon type thingies maybe or maybe one of the milder malts. Proper scotch, maybe something like Laphroaig or Lagavulin, isn't sweet, surely? Kind of wierd tasting for some palates, yes, but not sweet.
Re: Moscow mules... the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka. A mix of dark and light rum or maybe one of the spiced rums can be very nice. Just lime juice, good sharp/tangy ginger beer and the rum.
A friend of mine 'invented' his millenium cocktail a few years back -- which was tequila, gin and absinthe, if I recall. Not good. Although very effective...
Czechs drink a thing called a 'beton' which is made from Becherovka and tonic. That's a pretty nice long drink -- similar to a gin and tonic but with a more pronounced herbal taste.
A friend and I once invented a drink called a Copacetic. I'm told we drank an imperial shitload of them and kept insisting how f&#king good they were.
Noone, especially not my friend or me, remembers exactly what was in them, but the best evidence points to it being basically a gin and tonic with lemon squeeze and a few drops of dry vermouth. Kind of a martini cocktail or a martini/g&t mashup.
Just thinking about that next morning makes my head hurt something frightful, but I've been assured that I was definitely copacetic the night before.
Weiner, that first link gives me some hope. I was dubious about the yeast-based recipe from the beginning, and that one sounds much more plausibly delicious.
When I drink liquor, it's almost always gin and tonic, though I'll drink margaritas with a crowd when pitchers are ordered. I've pretty much settled on wine as my preferred poison.
I used to drink lots (and lots and lots) of bourbon when I was young, but I seem to have lost my taste for dark liquors. And nothing red - I have very bad associations with grenadine that now extend to any drink with that color in it.
I guess it's just that any food or drink where the entire goal of producing it is to remove as much flavor as possible is pretty suspect to me.
But I do make time for some vodka drinks. White russians are pretty tasty, although a bit cloying and heavy. And in the right company, e.g. Russians, Poles, gay men, drinking vodka doesn't get my dander up.
I've found I get less hungover with vodka than gin (or other hard liquors); fewer impurities.
Which doesn't mean I don't like the flavor of various single malts. But them's more for sipping. Looked at another way, vodka is therefore more dangerous.
When the vodka you're drinking came from a street vendor in Moscow and you've had to turn the bottle over to look at the pattern of the glue on the backside of the label to assure yourself it was made in a factory and not in a bathtub, and it's cold - not because of refrigeration, but because it's the same temperature as everything else in Moscow in January? Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love. So. Good. Mmmmmm. I want one right now. But I generally only drink wine because liquor makes a man mean.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love.
A proper Manhattan is delicious. Rob Roys too. I can see the Love part, but what's all this about Diesel Fuel?
Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Like I said, in the proper context (Russians and gay men, a twofer!), vodka is fine. And dandy. But as Farber's comment points out, most vodka drinking is done by folks who want to get drunk but don't want to pay their dues. Such people should stick to Chocolate Choos Choos.
As an aside, a friend of mine who spent years in Russia (mostly Moscow) told me that if you see a guy standing on the side of the road making a horizontal "two" with his fingers against his body at all passerby, it means he's looking for someone to go halfsys with him on a bottle of vodka. Also that the type of vodka he's looking to buy comes with a flip-top, i.e. non-resealable.
When I was 20 I mostly drank rum and cokes and Fuzzy Navels and screwdrivers. At my 21st birthday, a friend made a drink and named it after me: three kinds of fruit juice and three kinds of liquor, described at the time as "sweet and fruity, but it'll kick you when you're down." When I first had a Manhattan, a couple of years later (now 10 years ago or so), it tasted wretched in comparison. Underneath the shock of the drink not being drowned in citric acid or corn syrup, however, I recognized something wonderful and my tastes began to expand.
I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that particular sign language - the twosies thing - but it doesn't surprise me. Here's a related tip: never drink vodka from a can. Do. Not. Go. There.
I was once involved in the creation of the drink known as ,for the few days it existed, the "Bushy Visor." The name was from what someone had misheard the phrase "Bush adviser" as a few days previously. The drink was about as good as you'd expect a drink invented by 17 and 18 year olds to be. I believe it was made of rum, vodka, coke, and grenadine, mixed in a Nalgene bottle and served over ice.
Ah, Manhattans. Delicious when made well, deeply sad when made poorly. My default drink is a gin and tonic, partly because they're delicious, and partly because I enjoy being in the minority as a gin-lover.
Ah. I see one of the Matts got there before I. Though I think calling it a "Jamaican Mule" is a bit redundant. The name I was looking for was "Blind mule", not dead.
Following our trainwreck freshmen years, my co-blogger Froz Gobo and I took a year off school, got an apartment, and discovered that cherry Kool-Aid will obliterate the taste of tequila even when mixed 1:1. When we moved out, the carpet was pretty much one enormous red stain.
A friend deeply under the influence of Dostoevsky invented a drink called the Crystal Palace: equal parts Crystal Palace gin and Crystal Palace vodka, garnished with a cabbage leaf and served warm. It didn't catch on.
Some years later, me and my then-current housemates held a party at which we debuted a drink we called the Liza Minelli. We had the taste not to call it a martin even though it consisted of vodka, vermouth, and a green olive served in a martini glass . . . with the olive stuffed with a sleeping pill. It was a short party.
According to this highly entertaining--and informative!--article on malt liquor, economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze. I figured they were good for something.
There's also that nice German sour beer thing where you add raspberry syrup. Not the woodruff, b/c that tastes like cough syrup. And no, even with a bit of raspberry syrup, it really isn't all that sweet. V. refreshing. Yum.
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard. It's some kind of sour wheat beer, and it's German.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
Bourbon, while it can be sweet, need not be any sweeter than a good cognac. And, as pointed out upthread, single malts, especially Islays, aren't sweet at all.
In college, a favorite drink was the L/empi M/iller Hot Pepper Smegma, which was greyhound with a teaspoon+ of Tabasco.
I also once invented a drink consisting of tequila and strawberry yo-j, which really tasted no different from a margarita, only slimy. I have no idea why it didn't catch on.
It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
If you brew your ginger beer with yeast, it will be slightly, but only very slightly, alcoholic. Plus, if you don't use yeast, how are you going to do it?
A note on sidecars: properly made, and if you omit, as I do, the sugar rim, they won't be too sweet. Possible factors that might increase sweetness: using an ass triple sec; using a mix instead of fresh lemon juice. Take a look at the proofs of various triple secs the next time you're in a liquor store; Cointreau (the original and the best!) is 80; the DeKuyper/Hiram Walker/Bols things are something like 40 or 38, and much sweeter.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever). I prefer 2.5 brandy to one triple sec.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever).
What? No. The ratios are ratios of volume, and an eighth of one lemon doesn't necessarily have the amount of juice as an eighth of another. When I say, eg, 2:1:1 something, other, lemon juice, I mean something like 1.5 oz something, .75 oz other, .75 oz lemon juice. You have to use the same units throughout, people!
This is just an absurd criticism, the directions I gave would, in most situations, lead to a perfectly good sidecar. Must I have said that I was referring to a lemon of average size and juice producing capacity in order to avoid confusion? No, because I trust my fellow commenters intelligence. Also, I said "on the order of".
At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, Oxiclean. If you doj't have any around, flooding it with club soda, or water if that's all you have, will help, but Oxiclean takes it right out.
All lambics are sour. They're spontaneously fermented (i.e. left in an open vat to acquire fermenting organisms from the air), and so there are a lot of organisms working on the wort, including ones that produce acetic acid. There are a number of (crappy) lambics that add a sweetened fruit syrup at the end and so end up pretty sweet.
The really good fruit lambics (which is not to disparage the non-fruit lambics, which are delicious too) just add crushed fruit (e.g. wild cherries) at a certain point to the fermented lambic and let the yeast and other organisms on the fruit, plus the sugars provided by fruit, produce a secondary fermentation. The end result is quite dry, but with an intense flavor of the fruit to go along with the complex sourness. There was a pretty decent article in the NYTimes not too long ago about some of the lambics available in the states, but there's a patchwork of labelling laws in the various states that keep a lot of the most unique beers and other alcohol products out. I'm considering starting a Belgian Liberation Front in Texas to change the relevant laws (although it's not very high on my priority list, certainly below food security, farm policy, and the War Against Vodka)
And speaking of Belgian beers, I know Canada, particularly Quebec, has some good local versions of Belgian styles, and probably has a good selection of Belgian imports available. If you can get your hands on any of the Cantillon brews, I highly recommend them.
If the stain is fresh (i.e. still wet) the best solution is to pour salt on it. The salt will absorb the wine. After the wine dries though, I don't know.
Boy, I just googled tonight's Nerve date (went pretty well, cute, college prof, athletic, seemed like a nice guy, hug goodnight and he made some kind of kissy sound--I'm not sure where his lips were when he made it), and I saw he wrote a report for a certain non profit for a campaign they ran that was started by a guy I knew for a long time then briefly dated, then tried to be friends with and succeeded for maybe a year, but who then weirdly and snobbily stopped talking to me, so that means my Nerve date almost certainly knows this guy I dated and knew for a long time before that. Freaky. I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
Yeah. He kept jiggling the table, and droplets splashed onto my special first date skirt, which already has small bloodstains on it from a time I tried to hurriedly shave my legs before a date. The table jiggling was annoying, but he seemed to have other good qualities.
Speaking of red wine, folks in Chile (especially rural Chile) mix red wine and Coca-Cola™, for a drink called "Jote" (sp? -- pronunciation = HO-tay).
And yes on Gin & Tonic. I've slowly lured myself into Gin by insisting at first on Bombay Sapphire, then accepting Tanqueray. Now I'm down to Seagram's, as much more cost-effective substitution. It's the opposite of Gin snobbery!
While Tanqueray Ten is a great great thing, once you mix any gin with tonic, you really can't tell much difference other than rotgut vs. non-rotgut. So I agree with Stanley (Fish?) regarding cost-effective substitutions. One shouldn't ask for single malts in one's whiskey sour either.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
But see, Chopper, you've previously admitted that they're basically supposed to taste like water. After this "perfect pre-dinner cocktail", do you aim for the dinner to taste like nothing? Are you a partisan of Coors Light as well?
For wine stains on carpets or on clothes the trick is to get it out immediately on spilling which is done thus:
Take a clean and dry cloth, napkin or tea-towel - fold a couple of times place over the spill and press down hard. This'll seem like it's going to make it worse, but really it won't.
DO NOT rub, don't move it all, just press down with as much weight as you can -- if it's a carpet place the clean cloth over the spill and stand on it if need be.. Lift.
Usually you'll find the wine will have been completely 'sucked' up into the tea towel or napkin.
As long as the cloth is dry and is pressed straight down, hard, it works. The minute you rub, it's over -- the stuff is then ground in and spread.
Even on red wine which has been spilled on a completely white carpet -- if done quickly enough you'd never know it'd been spilled.
but grappa is indeed ass. its main use is, if you have a gaggle of ancient crippled looking old italian men laughing at you when you ordered at cafe corretto at age 19, to specify that you want your coffee mixed with grappa. they will get all seriously suddenly. and several will nod at you. because everyone knows that stuff is damn hard to stomach.
on the other hand limoncello is really delicious if you are in italy. i plan to start making it myself when back in boston later on. (three cheers for moonshine).
I'm not sure that I've tasted ass, but if it tastes like grappa I'll steer clear of it. Marc is the same thing isn't it? It also tends to be very nasty.
This wants rectification. Go find you a bottle on a hot rainy summer afternoon. Get some bitter lemon. Combine in pleasing proportions. Garnish as desired; lime, or English cucumber if you really must.
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on. rum and ginger beer is delicious. also, sidecars, manhattans, gimlets, both gin and vodka martinis even though gin is much better, all tasty. real deal fruit lambics, yum. grappa...well, it's pricey for being so paint-thinner-y, but it's ok. wait, are there drinks I don't like? scotch. I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass. or appletinis or chocolate martinis or bailey's irish cream. I got very drunk on white russians one time when I also kinda OD'd on methadone, so now I really can't deal with them. that scene in the big lebowski where he makes a white russian with powdered creamer...oog. my stomach is weaving around just thinking about it. hm. calvados is actually delicious but I was very disappointed with it as a young person because I thought it would taste like apples and it tasted a lot more like BOOZE than I was expecting. but 12-year-old girls all have shitty taste in likker anyway, though I never liked wine coolers so there's some room for pride there. mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone. I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic. also, I love you guys.
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on
I have a suspicion this depends on what country you get it in. Some have stricter labeling / regulatory laws. I recall, in one country that was reasonably strict, looking at the usually mysterious label and finding that the principal ingredient is gin. So, it shouldn't be harder to get drunk on than gin. Depending how you mix it.
I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass.
Surely this depends on which scotch.
I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic.
mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone.
Oh yeah. Used to do that with Vintner's Choice red "wine". Another, even cheaper, brand, too, that was utterly undrinkable unless mixed, though I can't recall the name.
The closest equivalent to cheap red wine + cola that I've found is Australian sparkling shiraz. Especially the cheap brands, like Lorikeet. The power of red wine meets the mindfuck of bubbles! All for about $7/bottle. Tastes like carbonated grape juice (which it is, but I mean it tastes more raw grapey and unfermented) and will mess with your head. But in a good way.
I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
This is one of the major plusses about online dating. That way, when you break up with them and/or find out they have a tiny
penis, you never have to see them again.
Also, I like gin. A lot. I want to like scotch, and I'm trying, but I find, like alameida, that at the current juncture, it tastes like peaty ass.
I went for some higher-end stuff one time to try to escape the assness, but it just tasted more peaty and more assy, not less.
Australian sparkling shiraz
I wish I could have some now! Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20). Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
I just bought a bottle of something called Kasegaran (Health!) which cost about $2 and I have no idea what it is made from, but it is what people here drink when they don't like cap tikus (paint stripper distilled from palm wine). It looks kind of red. When I'm brave enough I'll drink it and give a report.
Get some bitter lemon See, that's a problem for Americans. Alas. We are forced to drink Pimms & soda instead.
and/or find out they have a tiny penis, you never have to see them again. Silvana, you just traumatized half the unfoggedtariat. Not, I hasten to add, that anyone here really does have a tiny penis, but that a surprising number of men worry that they do.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass. At all. It's lovely stuff.
And just in case it doesn't go without saying: if you're drinking fancy single malt scotch, don't put anything in it. No water and no ice. It will taste so much better. People who, strangely, imagine they dislike scotch often dilute it, which is what makes it taste nasty.
If you're not fond of Scotch, there's always good Irish -- Black Bush is very nice, and the Bushmill's single malt is wonderful.
I had a bottle of the 1608 at Christmas the year before last, and my whole family sipping it and making little cooing noises about how good it was. A guest looked at us, said "Huh, I've never had Irish," and reached for the bottle to pour some in his coffee. My father slapped his hand away and handed him the Jameson's.
I wish I could have some now!
It's a bit early for me, but why not?
Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20).
But then it wouldn't taste so much like cheap red wine mixed with cola, and what fun would that be? Seriously, I've had some of the higher end stuff, and it is better. Lorikeet gets the job done, though.
You know, I'm having another one of my online dating conundrums. I'm never sure how much to read into someone sounding kind of lame and pretentious, but not stupid, on their profile. On the one hand, maybe they just didn't know how to approach the medium or something. On the other, wouldn't anyone I really want to date have a sense of how to come off well in writing and generally be funnier?
177: Funny is important. My bf had one bad moment in his online profiile, that I admit would have put me off if I'd been going on that alone. But on balance, the thing was hilarious (pretentious in an obvious mocking-the-medium sort of way). Isn't there some way to ask this person directly about whatever-it-is that's bugging you? I've found that that's the great advantage of the online thing--not worrying about tact overmuch initially.
I might email back and forth a bit anyway -- while that's lame, I think online personals are hard enough that it's worth checking for how bad he is under more spontaneous conditions.
I think it is purposefully over the top, but it just doesn't come off well, at least to me. I can't decide if I should give him a chance despite it.
Here is the entire objectionable passage:
I despise travel. I provoke a gag reflex in buzzards. I laugh seldom and only at the misfortunes of cripples. Beer is my beautiful and terrible god. No, wait, beer and NASCAR. You could grate cheese on my abs. Dude, two words: "Denver freakin' Broncos!" I punch kittens...
No, no, I can't do it. Damn. I'm trying hard to be a cretin, but I'm just not. Only one of the above statements is even remotely true. So if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint.
I can take tea at the Don's residence with the best of them, but would just as soon sneak out the drawing room window to meet you behind the stables and scramble hand in hand up Mt. Snowdon for a glimpse of moonrise and some purloined claret.
I cook exquisite breakfasts. I build things. I am very, very good with my hands. I will read aloud to you in a spectrum of accents (and if you're very nice, I might sing for you). I travel with the alacrity of a Byron protagonist. I am gentlemanly to a fault. Be warned: thunder makes me randy as a stoat.
A former student described me as "The Last Renaissance Man." Yeah, that sums it up nicely.
More About What I Am Looking For
Just now you are standing barefoot on a grassy hillock with a basket of fresh berries overlooking the sea. And now you are debating with me the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe. And now you are throwing me down to make me stop thinking so damn much. And now the campfire has died high in Inyo/Geirangerfjord/Annapurna, but we are snugly, warmly in our tent. (My parents owned sleeping bags that zipped together into one enormous sack-o'-love. I think that's the coolest thing ever. Except, now that I think about it, for the image of my parents ... eww.)
If you look like Natalie Wood, then I can stop working on this damn time machine and emergency floatation device. (The test-monkeys will be so relieved.) If not, that's okay too.
The Natalie Wood thing is kind of weird, too. I think it's unwise to ever talk about famous conventionally beautiful person you wish you could have in a Nerve profile, and it only makes it worse if they're dead.
Eh. Let me downgrade that to 'if you can't find anyone else on Nerve who's remotely interesting, maybe email to see if he's better off the cuff than when he's clearly trying much too hard.' But yeah, very uninspiring.
Mmmm...I love Dark and Stormys. It's one of my friend's signature drinks. I have fond memories of getting so drunk off of them on her roof in Brooklyn at her Fourth of July party a couple of years ago that I almost fell off. Good times.
I dunno, the Natalie Wood thing is the one appealing part (then again, I'm a freak). But "The Last Renaissance Man"? Dude, really. You'd better be richer than shit to make up for that.
I mean, he clearly put lots of thought into that passage and still came up with it. Imagine how tedious he must be in person.
So I emailed the guy from last night through the site to say I had a good time last night, thank you again, and to give him my real life email address. He wrote back very quickly through the site and said, "It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." (I'm off to my college reunion this weekend.) I can't tell whether that's a bad sign. He didn't say anything like, "Let's do it again sometime" or give me his real life email address. (I already have his phone number, and he already has mine.)
the first 2 paragraphs, starting with "I despise travel," make him sound problematically snobby. it's fine to like the things you like, but it's not so cool to compare yourself positively (even in an ironic manner like this) to other people who don't have your tastes.
194: Doesn't sound terribly promising, but also doesn't sound like enough information to tell much. If you liked him, call or email and ask him out again. He'll say yes or no, and then you'll know.
definitely chiming in on the hell no to sex with Byronic stoats in their parents' sleeping bags. the other guy, well, he emailed you right back maybe he had a few windows open and it was just easier to do it the site way? well, but no "here's my email?" but then, you can contact him like you just did. I'm going forward on the "Tia is so hot and funny he's just tripping out" theory. works every time (as long as you didn't let it slip that you hate black people.)
I know you're moving on, but it must be said: an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good. Nor can anyone who thinks that another person might enjoy listening to someone else speak in a variety of accents, or believes that an intelligent, adult, non-boring conversation would involve debating the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe.
If you're planning to scramble up "Mount Snowdon" (? we called it fucking "Snowdon" when I was growing up, and since we lived there, I am right), hand in hand, be aware that you've got a fucking long and uncomfortable scramble ahead of you and that when you get up there, four days out of five, you're not going to be able to see the "moonrise" because the top is covered in cloud. Then you're gonna have to trudge down, feeling stupid, in the dark. And probably go over a ridge and kill yourself like at least one boy scout troop a year seems to do.
In related news ...
Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
You have my official permission to like sparkling Australian shiraz; the fact that you're a fucking pleb is clearly none of my business.
Irish whiskey. Oh yeah. My arse. It's whiskey for people who would rather be drinking vodka. Triple or quadruple distilled to remove any of that nasty "whisky" taste. Single malt Irish whiskey is actually laughable, given the prices they charge for it.
Malts are in general overpriced. They're all right from time to time but they're only really any use for after a meal when you're dining with people who you suspect will look down on you for drinking brandy. If you just want a Scotch, a good slug of Chivas is yer only man. (actually Ballantine's is probably the best blended whisky at 8, 10 and 12 year price points, but it is almost all exported so unless you travel outside the UK stick to Chivas).
J&B make a Scotch whisky for people who don't like Scotch and it is a perfectly nice drink; certainly much better than that Irish stuff for the money.
I dunno, man, I guess give it the wait and see. About a month ago I went out with someone that I quite liked, who I emailed to say I had a nice time and got a similarly brief response, so I was like "damnit! He's not into me!" but then I got a call like five days later. So.
In other dating conundrums, is it really true that you're not expected to be exclusive until you have the talk? That's what my friends keep telling me, but it just seems deceptive...
(also note that if you're meeting this guy at "the Don's residence", be aware that even if you consider the faculty of University College North Wales to be "dons" which many would not as it is mainly an agricultural and marine biology school these days, their residences will be about forty miles from the foot of Snowdon and the roads are not very good, so you have quite a drive ahead of you before you start your ill-thought-out scramble).
Hrmphf. Dsquared clearly does not respect my authority. In any case, Irish isn't for people who like vodka, it's for people who like whiskey and aren't crazy about the taste of peat smoke. If I want smoke, I'll suck on a charcoal briquette.
"It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." I think that means he's not interested, personally. But maybe he's just being casual or rushed. "Fun to meet up" is what I'd say, though, if I didn't want to think of the thing as a "date."
I'm going to give him a chance to ask me out, at least. I think I should let a few days pass. Maybe ask him on Wednesday if he's free on Friday, if I haven't heard.
The thing that confuses me is that he initiated a pretty physical hug, which is about the most you can go for on a subway platform, last night. I may have responded awkwardly though. But that's why I sent a note, to make up for responding awkwardly.
#218: I more or less have been, this week at least. For one reason or another I have been dining in the gentlemens clubs (and the clubs for gentlemen who aren't gentlemen[1]) of Old London town. I can confirm that the only ones with decent cocktails are Black's, the Carlton and Milk & Honey. The Groucho is not bad but Soho House is very overrated.
Dsquared's puncturing of Nerve boy's Britophilic pretentiousness is cracking my shit up.
It's also reminding me of an absolutely excruciating visit by an ex who I couldn't figure out how to get rid of when I was studying in England. He was affecting a Monty Python accent for god's sake. It's possible I've never been so mortified in my life.
Nice guy: It could be that, since he knows you'll be busy for the next couple of days, he's not doing anything right now. In any case, what everyone else said. (On preview: That is, I approve of 214.)
Stoat: TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOLIO. if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint. Don't sell yourself short, my man.
an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good
No, no, that's all wrong. More likely, he's trying to purloin your claret, because he's a vampire. This also explains the Byron reference, vampires are known for their of love of Byron.
It really saddens me that I wasn't around y'all when I was reading people's personal ads. It's a lot more fun to mock them in a group than it is to just silently roll one's eyes in private.
216: Re: awkward physicality at the end of a date.
A friend of mine had a Nerve date with a woman that didn't go that well. Stilted conversation and whatnot. When they were saying goodbye on the street he didn't want to hug her and a handshake seemed too formal, so he high-fived her.
I can't decide if a post-awkward-date high-five would tempt me to reassess, or would confirm that I definitely did not want to ever see this person again.
I like Calvados ok, but what I really like is Pommeau, although I didn't understand what it was for a long time. I had the impression it was really hard cider.
This discussion of alcohol is very informative, it will surely help as I assemble my new liquor cabinet this weekend. However, if one is concerned merely with efficiency and economy, there is my standard recommendation. I wrote another comment with the recipe, but as I cannot find it, the mixture is 1.5 L of grain alcohol, 8 L of lemon-lime Gatorade, and, for optional party-all-night purposes, 6-8 Red Bulls (adjust according to taste preferences and desired level of caffeine). Properly served in a bin, of course. Also, it should be noted that mixing with a big bottle of iced tea makes even the rottenest of the rot-gut vodkas surprisingly drinkable. Oh, college.
243: Jamie Lee Curtis' in A Fish Called Wanda. In fact, the entire ad reminds me of Kevin Kline's character in that movie. "Apes do not read philosophy."
I mean, I'd happily read in different accents to anyone who wishes it, but I always assume when I do that to people over the age of five that I'm being annoying.
Yeah, I'm big on being read to. Graham and I used to argue about it, and he'd insist he didn't read well enough to do it, and I'd insist I was sure he could, and he swore I'd get him to do a paragraph from a magazine at most, but I totally, totally won, and I got
if you guys really loved me you'd comment on this thread.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:02 AM
It's still morning over there. Cut them some slack.
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:12 AM
You know I appreciate the information in point #1, but I think it could be presented in a more compelling fashion. We need a tournament in which people get knocked out by the spiciness of the food. It's probably preferable if it's painful.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:15 AM
"drug education" frequently backfires. "They said I would be a junkie by now but I'm fine?! They lied about PCP!!! and so on.
This is something that worries me somewhat, as a specialist in the epistemology of testimony. Tell people a bunch of bullshit about sex and marijuana and things like that, and why expect them to believe you about drugs that actually are dangerous? Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:18 AM
Ah, drug education. Officer Wilson told me in D.A.R.E. that everyone who did cocaine once got addicted immediately. I fantasized about making my "Pledge to Stay Drug Free" an essay about why I was not going to be instructed to make promises about my future by government propagandists, but I wussed out.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:23 AM
I remain very grateful that my drug and sex education in high school was taught by a crazy Latvian psychoanalyst who believed in providing us with the most accurate scientific information then available. She talked about abstinence, sure! 100% effective! but also in embarrassing detail about contraception and STDs. She talked about artists and philosophers taking psychedelics in the 1960s--who however often found that their paintings and writings made no sense when they sobered up. She smoked cigarettes with a special tar-reduction filter out behind the science lab, and she always admitted upfront that she was addicted and that it was going to kill her. An extraordinary woman.
And yeah, a lot of people did pot and psychedelics soon after taking her class (not Mormon me!), but as far as I know, very few were doing harder drugs, which should count for something, right?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:49 AM
I think the reason it usually takes Alamedia's threads a while to get hopping is that the general reaction is "damn, well, how could I ever hope to top that?"
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:54 AM
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
Another good plan is to get drunk on grappa on someone else's dime.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:20 AM
The problem with that plan, wolfson, is that grappa tastes like ass-flavored jet fuel.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:31 AM
Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Metaphor, Matt. Metaphor. Children also know that their stuffed animals aren't really alive, but it's unwise, cruel even, to point that out to them when they're worried about one being lost, having hurt feelings, or whatever.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:32 AM
The things you learn when trying to put out jet fuel fires in your ass with your mouth...
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:44 AM
Bphd, next thing you'll be telling me that children know that their rabbits and dogs didn't really get sent to a farm. But this is not so.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:47 AM
Grappa's good, just not good enough for how much it costs. So ben's plan is a good one, assuming the other person making free with the dimes is pleasant (enough) company.
Also, think what dsquared meant was that Bourdain's speedballs lacked a certain BAM!
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:48 AM
Grappa's good
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty," then I agree wholeheartedly.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:51 AM
12: No, sadly, they believe that one.
One of the more traumatic events of my childhood is that my dad took my cat's two remaining kittens "to a farm" on my birthday. My kindergarten teacher, to whom we'd given the third kitten, lost it and like a total dumbass, actually told me.
God. Now I'm going to have a good cry. Thanks a lot for bringing that all up again, Matt.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:51 AM
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty,"
We're not talking about you, good apoostropher, we're talking about grappa.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:57 AM
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:58 AM
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:58 AM
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:59 AM
So kids believe the "went to a farm" stories but not the Santa Claus stories? I'm skeptical.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:00 PM
Yeah, well, I don't even really know what grappa is. So there.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:01 PM
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:01 PM
ISE on 20.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:01 PM
Also on 23.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:01 PM
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
Hey, wait a m--
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:02 PM
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years. PK does. He got angry last year b/c some little girl at his school told him Santa wasn't real. But, as PK says, "she believes in God, and everyone knows God's not real. But Santa is."
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor. It's not like a *horrible* secret, the way killing children's pets on their birthday is.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:04 PM
I was down with the grappa, but I sure wouldn't have paid what it cost.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:06 PM
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor.
How do you know this if PK still believes in Santa?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:06 PM
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
Maybe they save the ass-flavored jet fuel especially for the tourists.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:09 PM
Speaking of lowrent, I'm really worried that a bunch of LGM readers are going to come over here and lower the tone of the place.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:13 PM
I also don't know what grappa is.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:23 PM
re: 26
I admire the cunning use of italics, since everyone knows the under 10s can't read italic fonts ...
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:26 PM
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years.
It got tricky when I tried to explain that Santa was trapped in the woodstove, so that's when I had to just tell the truth.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:27 PM
I also don't know what grappa is.
Grape liquor.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:29 PM
After you press grapes for wine, all the residue (including stems and seeds) gets used to make grappa.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:30 PM
Pomace, baby! Some people make grappa from the whole grape, though.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:31 PM
Ass grapes, to be specific.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:34 PM
I have tried the mythologized grappa, ouzo, and the famous Turkish rak?, and found all of them unpalatable.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:44 PM
Internal Server Error.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:46 PM
Internal Server Error
You mean you puked?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 12:49 PM
What's wrong with you people? Ouzo and raki taste pretty much exactly like pastis, which is anise-flavored deliciousness in medium quantities on hot days. Grappa, especially when someone else pays for it, is also quite nice.
Now, thinking through spiffy liqueurs I know and like, I'm making myself thirsty for some Calvados, which I really can't afford.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 1:42 PM
My mother was sorely disappointed when I launched into an explanation of how the whole North Pole thing was simply not feasible, and I was five or six years old. I remember my justification involving a lot of talk about how hard it would be to get food there to feed the elves, or something; something about the economics of it. But, I did get that it was just a fun story. There was no trauma there.
Posted by Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 2:43 PM
Calvados isn't a liqueur. If you can find Laird's bonded apple brandy (not Laird's applejack, which is blended), it will stand you in good stead, for something like $20.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 2:54 PM
Maybe my thing is just a dislike of liqueurs generally. Though I like interesting cocktails.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 2:56 PM
I hate to admit that you're right, Wolfson, and thanks for the suggestion.
It's weird, Drymala, I've become more and more conservative about cocktails and will probably not venture forth from the slightly dirty vodka martini in only a few years. The "interesting" ones seem to be so damned sweet. The first time I had an apple martini--late in the trend, I'll admit--I nearly gagged. What do you recommend I try to reverse my stodgifying trend?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:08 PM
Go retro? All the phony martinis are incredibly sweet, but there are lots of out-of-fashion cocktails that taste good. I'm fond of Manhattans, and gimlets, and rusty nails, to name some.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:13 PM
A plum saketini was the most memorably yummy alcoholic drink I've ever had. The plum pit was floating in it. Mmmm. I think the club was Paisely; this was a few years ago though; I don't know if they still have them.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:13 PM
No such thing as a "vodka martini".
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:13 PM
I've been, possibly based on a recommendation here but I think based on reading some book or other set in the 30s, been drinking sidecars lately.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:14 PM
Yeah, I guess I don't mind the sweet when I'm experimenting. VYNL and Vintage (conveniently located across the street from one another!) have good cocktails. Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city. I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour. I like a sweet/sour combo in a cocktail. After Wolfson posted about it, I had a sidecar at Blue Mill Tavern, and I enjoyed it, and I might order it again, though it's not really my kind of cocktail.
I like South American drinks -- piscos and mojitos (I guess that's Cuban). I dunno. If I'm in a restaurant with a particular regional cuisine, I like to stick with a drink from that region to enhance the experience, even with beer. Beyond that, I just pick what sounds good.
For me, stuff like whiskey is way too sweet. I can only drink whiskey in a whiskey sour.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:19 PM
I did just realize that I'd named three fairly sweet drinks -- the sweetness of whiskey doesn't offend me like the sweetness of an 'appletini', in that at least it's complex.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:22 PM
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
I'm so glad I don't have pets.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:24 PM
48: It's my opinion that if you (or I, for that matter) were to go to a bartender and ask for a martini, and no qualifying information were subsequently exchanged, there would be at least a 40% of it being made with vodka.
49:
beenThere's at least one new-fangled martini I like.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:25 PM
Ginger martini? Back when I was a girl you would have ordered a Moscow Mule and liked it.
(You probably would have, they're delicious. Can't get them hardly anyplace though -- no one has ginger beer.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:27 PM
manhattans, yum!
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:27 PM
Your average sour mix is way way sweet, though. (True story! A whisky sour was the first alcoholic drink I ever tasted. It's never really tasted good to me since.)
I've eyed the sidecar on some menus, but it looks awfully sweet. I think your advice to go retro is good, though, LB.
I've enjoyed some vodka gimlets when they were well made. Okay, I enjoyed way too many vodka gimlets at a very expensive place once when someone else was picking up the tab and have looked at them with some trepidation ever since.
ONE mojito is good.
The concept of a saketini is intriguing.
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:28 PM
I recommend the Old Fashioned if it's made correctly. Unfortunately, it's almost never made correctly. If the bartender says "a WHAT?" when you order, switch to something else.
And Standpipe gets it exactly right. Especially galling is when I order a martini and the sorry-excuse-for-a-barman behind the bar asks, "Any particular kind of vodka?" The proper response is something along the lines of, "I don't know. What do you think would go well with your liver and some fava beans?"
Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city.
"martini" s/b "candyass-drinks-that-come-in-martini-glasses-for-some-reason"
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:29 PM
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
Ass.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:30 PM
Someone tried to serve me a "Hudson martini" last night. I asked what was in it, and if I remember correctly the primary ingredients were rum and blood orange. I asked if the only thing that made it a martini was the glass it was in, and was met with a pretty blank stare.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:34 PM
And while we're on the subject, James Bond is an idiot. A shaken martini comes out all cloudy and watery-ass. It should be stirred quickly just to chill it, you don't want to melt a lot of the ice.
The only real reason to shake a cocktail is to make it frothy. And anyway you're not Tom Cruise. Lots of old classic cocktails contained an egg or eggwhite, and they froth very nicely when shaken. But there's nothing in a martini to froth.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:34 PM
vodka gimlets
Is there no end to your preversions?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:40 PM
Also, as Jackmormon notes, most bars err way too much on the side of sweetness when they make things such as Old Fashioneds, Sours, Collins, etc. The main reason for this is that instead of fresh fruit and/or fruit juice, they use bottled mixes which, in addition to being too sweet, often have a cooked taste and just plain aren't very good.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:42 PM
I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour.
Sounds awesome, though I will happily concede that it is not a martini. As does whatever LB is talking about in 54. I've often longed for an alcoholic ginger beer drink.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:54 PM
Go here before trying to reason with me.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 3:55 PM
All a Moscow Mule is is ginger beer, lime juice, and vodka (hence, Moscow). I don't remember the proportions offhand, but it can't be terribly sensitive. I've read that they're supposed to be served in frosted copper cups, but I've never been in a bar that had such available.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:11 PM
Hm, I simply could not get into the site to reply to M/tch's calumny for a while. Wikipedia had an article (redirected from "vodka martini") explaining that, while the trend in the last twenty years has been towards mixing with vodka, sanctimonious purists hold that there is no martini but gin martini. I lost the url during the "waiting for Unfogged...." business, though. Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Is there no end to your preversions?
We could find out together, Standpipe...
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:15 PM
60: (search for "Bond" on the page).
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:18 PM
Let's try that again.
60:Thanks, President Bartlet (search for "Bond" on the linked page).
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:19 PM
Part of the downside of calling all these things "martinis", besides the fact that it's just wrong, is that little or no thought goes into the names. Adding a "baked" before "apple" is about as imaginative as it gets.
And as some old commenter once said, cocktails invented after about 1950 or so are to be regarded with deep suspicion. People back than drank a lot more than we do, and they knew what they were doing.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:21 PM
I tried to brew my own ginger beer once, following a highly recommended internet recipe. Maybe there was a step I missed, but I could taste the yeast fermentation in the final product and it was gnasty. Other people I served it to liked it, though, despite all my caveats; they even accepted liter-bottles of the stuff to take home!
There's a Carribean place on 14th, about a block east of Union Square, that has wonderful homemade ginger ale (a little too sweet for me). It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:23 PM
Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Then you have no business ordering a martini, madam.
67,68: Well I'll be. I never watched that show much, but the few times I did I thought it was pretty well written, almost annoyingly so. Anyway, now I want to go drinking with Jed Bartlett. I'm sure he'd pay for everything too, that's just the kind of classy
johnguy he is.Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:27 PM
You brew ginger beer with yeast? I thought it was basically extra-spicy ginger ale.
Well. And huh.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:28 PM
The first line of 71 should be in italics, as it's a quote from Jackmormon.
Also, I think the frosted metal cups thing for some drinks (I'm thinking particularly of mint juleps) is pretty whack. I don't know what all those people drinking so much back then when the tradition was established were thinking, but it's an indication that we can safely ignore their tastes and opinions.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:29 PM
M/tch, until about 1930, they were serving gin with laudanum, or maybe amphetamines, or maybe a little strychnine just for kicks. Maybe your window should narrow in a bit.
And what the hell should I call a dry, somewhat dirty vodka (non) martini, so as not to offend the purists?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:31 PM
Colder, isn't it? The metal has a higher thermal capacity than glass, so a drink in a chilled metal cup will stay colder, longer, than one served in a glass. (The 'copper for a MM, silver for a mint julep' thing is just silliness, but the metal thing makes sense.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:31 PM
72 is pretty redundant, except for the last link, but I think what you were brewing and what I like to drink from bottles are basically different drinks. Although if the alcoholic ginger beer came out like what I like, but alcoholic, I would drink it all day.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:34 PM
74: A travesty.
75: Yep, colder, but if your drink gets hot, it means you're drinking too slow. Also, metal sweats more than glass, and I don't like the taste/feel of the metal.
And gin and laudanum is a fine beverage. Just don't go ordering it with vodka.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:37 PM
I told my preschool kids that there is no Santa Claus a couple of years ago.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:38 PM
We could find out together, Standpipe...
My interest is purely scientific, you understand. I'm so very fond of science.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:45 PM
With a martini the classic gin plus touch of vermouth kind is the best, by far, for me. Although I did have one which had pisang ambon and lychee in it which was tolerable -- not overly sweet, just more perfumed than a normal one.
Re: 50 and whiskey being sweet: someone is drinking the wrong whisky. One of those American bourbon type thingies maybe or maybe one of the milder malts. Proper scotch, maybe something like Laphroaig or Lagavulin, isn't sweet, surely? Kind of wierd tasting for some palates, yes, but not sweet.
Re: Moscow mules... the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka. A mix of dark and light rum or maybe one of the spiced rums can be very nice. Just lime juice, good sharp/tangy ginger beer and the rum.
A friend of mine 'invented' his millenium cocktail a few years back -- which was tequila, gin and absinthe, if I recall. Not good. Although very effective...
Czechs drink a thing called a 'beton' which is made from Becherovka and tonic. That's a pretty nice long drink -- similar to a gin and tonic but with a more pronounced herbal taste.
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 4:49 PM
Bottled mixes save time, but suck because they're all corn syrupy. Plus, it's fun to put fruit in a blender.
'Saketinis' are, ime, awesome. Hello and Goodbye, Mr. Braincell. Whee!
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:15 PM
Absinthe is delicious on its own--no need to mix, except with water and, to taste, sugar.
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:20 PM
A friend and I once invented a drink called a Copacetic. I'm told we drank an imperial shitload of them and kept insisting how f&#king good they were.
Noone, especially not my friend or me, remembers exactly what was in them, but the best evidence points to it being basically a gin and tonic with lemon squeeze and a few drops of dry vermouth. Kind of a martini cocktail or a martini/g&t mashup.
Just thinking about that next morning makes my head hurt something frightful, but I've been assured that I was definitely copacetic the night before.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:20 PM
Weiner, that first link gives me some hope. I was dubious about the yeast-based recipe from the beginning, and that one sounds much more plausibly delicious.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:22 PM
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
That's just the kind of irrational accusation a vodka drinker would make!
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:23 PM
When I drink liquor, it's almost always gin and tonic, though I'll drink margaritas with a crowd when pitchers are ordered. I've pretty much settled on wine as my preferred poison.
I used to drink lots (and lots and lots) of bourbon when I was young, but I seem to have lost my taste for dark liquors. And nothing red - I have very bad associations with grenadine that now extend to any drink with that color in it.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:25 PM
You know, I'd be much less prejudiced against vodka if it weren't just so goldarned tacky.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:25 PM
So you're a white wine drunk, apo???
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:26 PM
In the summer, I drink white wine (I'm drinking an excellent French picpoul right now). When it gets back down below 80, it's mostly reds.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:28 PM
Now you're all making me thirsty.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:28 PM
Look, I'll drink gin-n-t's, if that's what on offer, but really: vodka as tacky?
I demand arbitration by the greater Unfoggedariat.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:28 PM
I think you're being trolled, JM.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:30 PM
Ah, I see your point, M/tch. No red liquor drinks.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:31 PM
(Like apostropher, I generally drink wine.)
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:31 PM
I guess it's just that any food or drink where the entire goal of producing it is to remove as much flavor as possible is pretty suspect to me.
But I do make time for some vodka drinks. White russians are pretty tasty, although a bit cloying and heavy. And in the right company, e.g. Russians, Poles, gay men, drinking vodka doesn't get my dander up.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:31 PM
Hmm, how to put this. "Vodka martinis" are the cocktail equivalent of "soy chorizo"?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:34 PM
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:41 PM
I've found I get less hungover with vodka than gin (or other hard liquors); fewer impurities.
Which doesn't mean I don't like the flavor of various single malts. But them's more for sipping. Looked at another way, vodka is therefore more dangerous.
Posted by Gary Farber | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:46 PM
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
You see? Aside from some cupware issues, them old folks knew what they were doing!
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:46 PM
When the vodka you're drinking came from a street vendor in Moscow and you've had to turn the bottle over to look at the pattern of the glue on the backside of the label to assure yourself it was made in a factory and not in a bathtub, and it's cold - not because of refrigeration, but because it's the same temperature as everything else in Moscow in January? Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love. So. Good. Mmmmmm. I want one right now. But I generally only drink wine because liquor makes a man mean.
Posted by Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:47 PM
I generally only drink wine
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:49 PM
I prefer beer.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:52 PM
I generally drink Zeigen Bock. Have I mentioned that you can't buy alcohol to take home within Lubbock city limits?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:52 PM
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
I figured a big-ass plastic cup would be better than simply chugging it from the bottle. Then my cup ran out and I realized I was so wrong.
Posted by Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:55 PM
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love.
A proper Manhattan is delicious. Rob Roys too. I can see the Love part, but what's all this about Diesel Fuel?
Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Like I said, in the proper context (Russians and gay men, a twofer!), vodka is fine. And dandy. But as Farber's comment points out, most vodka drinking is done by folks who want to get drunk but don't want to pay their dues. Such people should stick to Chocolate Choos Choos.
As an aside, a friend of mine who spent years in Russia (mostly Moscow) told me that if you see a guy standing on the side of the road making a horizontal "two" with his fingers against his body at all passerby, it means he's looking for someone to go halfsys with him on a bottle of vodka. Also that the type of vodka he's looking to buy comes with a flip-top, i.e. non-resealable.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:58 PM
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 5:59 PM
(I believe that drink has a name, possibly "dead mule".)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:00 PM
When I was 20 I mostly drank rum and cokes and Fuzzy Navels and screwdrivers. At my 21st birthday, a friend made a drink and named it after me: three kinds of fruit juice and three kinds of liquor, described at the time as "sweet and fruity, but it'll kick you when you're down." When I first had a Manhattan, a couple of years later (now 10 years ago or so), it tasted wretched in comparison. Underneath the shock of the drink not being drowned in citric acid or corn syrup, however, I recognized something wonderful and my tastes began to expand.
I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that particular sign language - the twosies thing - but it doesn't surprise me. Here's a related tip: never drink vodka from a can. Do. Not. Go. There.
Posted by Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:05 PM
I was once involved in the creation of the drink known as ,for the few days it existed, the "Bushy Visor." The name was from what someone had misheard the phrase "Bush adviser" as a few days previously. The drink was about as good as you'd expect a drink invented by 17 and 18 year olds to be. I believe it was made of rum, vodka, coke, and grenadine, mixed in a Nalgene bottle and served over ice.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:30 PM
Ah, Manhattans. Delicious when made well, deeply sad when made poorly. My default drink is a gin and tonic, partly because they're delicious, and partly because I enjoy being in the minority as a gin-lover.
Posted by mrh | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:44 PM
Ah. I see one of the Matts got there before I. Though I think calling it a "Jamaican Mule" is a bit redundant. The name I was looking for was "Blind mule", not dead.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:45 PM
Following our trainwreck freshmen years, my co-blogger Froz Gobo and I took a year off school, got an apartment, and discovered that cherry Kool-Aid will obliterate the taste of tequila even when mixed 1:1. When we moved out, the carpet was pretty much one enormous red stain.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 6:56 PM
A friend deeply under the influence of Dostoevsky invented a drink called the Crystal Palace: equal parts Crystal Palace gin and Crystal Palace vodka, garnished with a cabbage leaf and served warm. It didn't catch on.
Some years later, me and my then-current housemates held a party at which we debuted a drink we called the Liza Minelli. We had the taste not to call it a martin even though it consisted of vodka, vermouth, and a green olive served in a martini glass . . . with the olive stuffed with a sleeping pill. It was a short party.
According to this highly entertaining--and informative!--article on malt liquor, economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze. I figured they were good for something.
Posted by JL | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:03 PM
Ah. The dreaded Internal Server Error.
Posted by JL | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:05 PM
economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze
Dsquared also has a nice article about whiskey yield curves lurking somewhere in his archives.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:11 PM
It is only appropriate that drunkenness is being discussed in another thread.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:20 PM
Y'all are just wrong. A dirty vodka martini is a perfectly fine drink.
But if you want a non-sweet, summer drink, try Campari and soda, or Campari and tonic. Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:32 PM
Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
In which case, it bears mentioning, you're a communist.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:48 PM
I'm pretty close, but I still like G&Ts. Never had a Pimms Cup.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 7:59 PM
There's also that nice German sour beer thing where you add raspberry syrup. Not the woodruff, b/c that tastes like cough syrup. And no, even with a bit of raspberry syrup, it really isn't all that sweet. V. refreshing. Yum.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:05 PM
Are you talking about lambic ale? It is Belgian, not German, and it tastes much better without any fruity flavorings.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:21 PM
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard. It's some kind of sour wheat beer, and it's German.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:27 PM
It's Berliner Weisse.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:38 PM
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
Bourbon, while it can be sweet, need not be any sweeter than a good cognac. And, as pointed out upthread, single malts, especially Islays, aren't sweet at all.
In college, a favorite drink was the L/empi M/iller Hot Pepper Smegma, which was greyhound with a teaspoon+ of Tabasco.
I also once invented a drink consisting of tequila and strawberry yo-j, which really tasted no different from a margarita, only slimy. I have no idea why it didn't catch on.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:38 PM
How could it taste no different from a margarita, which contains no strawberries or strawberry flavoring?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:40 PM
It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
If you brew your ginger beer with yeast, it will be slightly, but only very slightly, alcoholic. Plus, if you don't use yeast, how are you going to do it?
A note on sidecars: properly made, and if you omit, as I do, the sugar rim, they won't be too sweet. Possible factors that might increase sweetness: using an ass triple sec; using a mix instead of fresh lemon juice. Take a look at the proofs of various triple secs the next time you're in a liquor store; Cointreau (the original and the best!) is 80; the DeKuyper/Hiram Walker/Bols things are something like 40 or 38, and much sweeter.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
This is known as a Dark and Stormy.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:47 PM
125: sorry, "strawberry margarita." And yes, I know, and no, we don't need a second fucking debate. You know what I mean.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:49 PM
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard.
OTOH there are some lambics that are intensely sour and to which a sweetener is often added.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:49 PM
Gimlets are good. They are also extremely powerful. The first time that I got *really* drunk I was drinking gimlets.
Washerdreyer, sidecars sound really good.
Drymala, mojitos are good.
There's a pretty cool website devoted to drink recipes called Drink of the Week.
Apropos of nothing, I accidentally hit enter, after typing the f in unfogged and landed at unf.com where I learned that Colonel Sanders is wrong.
Posted by Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:54 PM
I know I ordered a drink called a Dark and Stormy once, but I thought it was cognac and something. It was good, whatever it was.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:59 PM
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever). I prefer 2.5 brandy to one triple sec.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 8:59 PM
It is indeed Berliner Weiss, and I did not know about the sour lambics. Live and learn.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:00 PM
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever).
What? No. The ratios are ratios of volume, and an eighth of one lemon doesn't necessarily have the amount of juice as an eighth of another. When I say, eg, 2:1:1 something, other, lemon juice, I mean something like 1.5 oz something, .75 oz other, .75 oz lemon juice. You have to use the same units throughout, people!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:04 PM
This is just an absurd criticism, the directions I gave would, in most situations, lead to a perfectly good sidecar. Must I have said that I was referring to a lemon of average size and juice producing capacity in order to avoid confusion? No, because I trust my fellow commenters intelligence. Also, I said "on the order of".
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:24 PM
Does anyone know how to remove a red wine stain?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:38 PM
At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, Oxiclean. If you doj't have any around, flooding it with club soda, or water if that's all you have, will help, but Oxiclean takes it right out.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:41 PM
If I put soap and water on it now, will Oxiclean get it out later? The stain's already a few hours old.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:46 PM
I did not know about the sour lambics.
All lambics are sour. They're spontaneously fermented (i.e. left in an open vat to acquire fermenting organisms from the air), and so there are a lot of organisms working on the wort, including ones that produce acetic acid. There are a number of (crappy) lambics that add a sweetened fruit syrup at the end and so end up pretty sweet.
The really good fruit lambics (which is not to disparage the non-fruit lambics, which are delicious too) just add crushed fruit (e.g. wild cherries) at a certain point to the fermented lambic and let the yeast and other organisms on the fruit, plus the sugars provided by fruit, produce a secondary fermentation. The end result is quite dry, but with an intense flavor of the fruit to go along with the complex sourness. There was a pretty decent article in the NYTimes not too long ago about some of the lambics available in the states, but there's a patchwork of labelling laws in the various states that keep a lot of the most unique beers and other alcohol products out. I'm considering starting a Belgian Liberation Front in Texas to change the relevant laws (although it's not very high on my priority list, certainly below food security, farm policy, and the War Against Vodka)
And speaking of Belgian beers, I know Canada, particularly Quebec, has some good local versions of Belgian styles, and probably has a good selection of Belgian imports available. If you can get your hands on any of the Cantillon brews, I highly recommend them.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:47 PM
If the stain is fresh (i.e. still wet) the best solution is to pour salt on it. The salt will absorb the wine. After the wine dries though, I don't know.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:48 PM
I wish I had known that salt thing in the restaurant.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:50 PM
Yeah, tomorrow's fine, even without the soap and water.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 9:50 PM
Wow, that Oxiclean stuff must be great. Thanks for the advice, LB and M/tch.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:00 PM
The salt thing is mainly a carpet trick (damned servants!). Refined people such as I never spill wine on our clothes.
And you know, I can't help thinking that if you alameida really loved us, she'd comment on this thread.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:15 PM
Boy, I just googled tonight's Nerve date (went pretty well, cute, college prof, athletic, seemed like a nice guy, hug goodnight and he made some kind of kissy sound--I'm not sure where his lips were when he made it), and I saw he wrote a report for a certain non profit for a campaign they ran that was started by a guy I knew for a long time then briefly dated, then tried to be friends with and succeeded for maybe a year, but who then weirdly and snobbily stopped talking to me, so that means my Nerve date almost certainly knows this guy I dated and knew for a long time before that. Freaky. I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:15 PM
I'm fond of Manhattans
Manhattans made with bourbon: good. Manhattans made with rye: better.
Posted by Josh | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:17 PM
So a college professor spilled wine on you?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:20 PM
Yeah. He kept jiggling the table, and droplets splashed onto my special first date skirt, which already has small bloodstains on it from a time I tried to hurriedly shave my legs before a date. The table jiggling was annoying, but he seemed to have other good qualities.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:24 PM
Maybe he's good with the laundry?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 10:38 PM
Speaking of red wine, folks in Chile (especially rural Chile) mix red wine and Coca-Cola™, for a drink called "Jote" (sp? -- pronunciation = HO-tay).
And yes on Gin & Tonic. I've slowly lured myself into Gin by insisting at first on Bombay Sapphire, then accepting Tanqueray. Now I'm down to Seagram's, as much more cost-effective substitution. It's the opposite of Gin snobbery!
Posted by Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:19 PM
While Tanqueray Ten is a great great thing, once you mix any gin with tonic, you really can't tell much difference other than rotgut vs. non-rotgut. So I agree with Stanley (Fish?) regarding cost-effective substitutions. One shouldn't ask for single malts in one's whiskey sour either.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:47 PM
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:51 PM
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
Sez you.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:53 PM
Pretty lame, M/lls.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 1-06 11:56 PM
That means a lot coming from you, wolfson.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 12:01 AM
Take it outside boys.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 12:09 AM
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
But see, Chopper, you've previously admitted that they're basically supposed to taste like water. After this "perfect pre-dinner cocktail", do you aim for the dinner to taste like nothing? Are you a partisan of Coors Light as well?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 12:17 AM
For wine stains on carpets or on clothes the trick is to get it out immediately on spilling which is done thus:
Take a clean and dry cloth, napkin or tea-towel - fold a couple of times place over the spill and press down hard. This'll seem like it's going to make it worse, but really it won't.
DO NOT rub, don't move it all, just press down with as much weight as you can -- if it's a carpet place the clean cloth over the spill and stand on it if need be.. Lift.
Usually you'll find the wine will have been completely 'sucked' up into the tea towel or napkin.
As long as the cloth is dry and is pressed straight down, hard, it works. The minute you rub, it's over -- the stuff is then ground in and spread.
Even on red wine which has been spilled on a completely white carpet -- if done quickly enough you'd never know it'd been spilled.
This has been a domestic announcement,
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 1:23 AM
i am egregiously late to this thread.
but grappa is indeed ass. its main use is, if you have a gaggle of ancient crippled looking old italian men laughing at you when you ordered at cafe corretto at age 19, to specify that you want your coffee mixed with grappa. they will get all seriously suddenly. and several will nod at you. because everyone knows that stuff is damn hard to stomach.
on the other hand limoncello is really delicious if you are in italy. i plan to start making it myself when back in boston later on. (three cheers for moonshine).
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 3:19 AM
I'm not sure that I've tasted ass, but if it tastes like grappa I'll steer clear of it. Marc is the same thing isn't it? It also tends to be very nasty.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 3:56 AM
Never had a Pimms Cup.
This wants rectification. Go find you a bottle on a hot rainy summer afternoon. Get some bitter lemon. Combine in pleasing proportions. Garnish as desired; lime, or English cucumber if you really must.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 4:11 AM
the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka
That would be a "Dark & Stormy" everywhere except Cotton's on Chalk Farm Road.
Grappa is really quite pricey for what it is, but aguardiente is the same stuff and usually cheaper.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 4:49 AM
Does the Dark and Stormy have lime juice in it to?
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 4:59 AM
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on. rum and ginger beer is delicious. also, sidecars, manhattans, gimlets, both gin and vodka martinis even though gin is much better, all tasty. real deal fruit lambics, yum. grappa...well, it's pricey for being so paint-thinner-y, but it's ok. wait, are there drinks I don't like? scotch. I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass. or appletinis or chocolate martinis or bailey's irish cream. I got very drunk on white russians one time when I also kinda OD'd on methadone, so now I really can't deal with them. that scene in the big lebowski where he makes a white russian with powdered creamer...oog. my stomach is weaving around just thinking about it. hm. calvados is actually delicious but I was very disappointed with it as a young person because I thought it would taste like apples and it tasted a lot more like BOOZE than I was expecting. but 12-year-old girls all have shitty taste in likker anyway, though I never liked wine coolers so there's some room for pride there. mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone. I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic. also, I love you guys.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 5:14 AM
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on
I have a suspicion this depends on what country you get it in. Some have stricter labeling / regulatory laws. I recall, in one country that was reasonably strict, looking at the usually mysterious label and finding that the principal ingredient is gin. So, it shouldn't be harder to get drunk on than gin. Depending how you mix it.
I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass.
Surely this depends on which scotch.
I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic.
I'll think that, if you like.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 5:37 AM
mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone.
Oh yeah. Used to do that with Vintner's Choice red "wine". Another, even cheaper, brand, too, that was utterly undrinkable unless mixed, though I can't recall the name.
The closest equivalent to cheap red wine + cola that I've found is Australian sparkling shiraz. Especially the cheap brands, like Lorikeet. The power of red wine meets the mindfuck of bubbles! All for about $7/bottle. Tastes like carbonated grape juice (which it is, but I mean it tastes more raw grapey and unfermented) and will mess with your head. But in a good way.
Posted by JL | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 5:44 AM
I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
This is one of the major plusses about online dating. That way, when you break up with them and/or find out they have a tiny
penis, you never have to see them again.
Also, I like gin. A lot. I want to like scotch, and I'm trying, but I find, like alameida, that at the current juncture, it tastes like peaty ass.
I went for some higher-end stuff one time to try to escape the assness, but it just tasted more peaty and more assy, not less.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 6:46 AM
If only there were a way to combine gin, campari, and vermouth.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 6:53 AM
Australian sparkling shiraz
I wish I could have some now! Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20). Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
I just bought a bottle of something called Kasegaran (Health!) which cost about $2 and I have no idea what it is made from, but it is what people here drink when they don't like cap tikus (paint stripper distilled from palm wine). It looks kind of red. When I'm brave enough I'll drink it and give a report.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 6:58 AM
Get some bitter lemon See, that's a problem for Americans. Alas. We are forced to drink Pimms & soda instead.
and/or find out they have a tiny penis, you never have to see them again. Silvana, you just traumatized half the unfoggedtariat. Not, I hasten to add, that anyone here really does have a tiny penis, but that a surprising number of men worry that they do.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass. At all. It's lovely stuff.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:11 AM
And just in case it doesn't go without saying: if you're drinking fancy single malt scotch, don't put anything in it. No water and no ice. It will taste so much better. People who, strangely, imagine they dislike scotch often dilute it, which is what makes it taste nasty.
But Irish whiskey tastes like insecticide.
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:26 AM
If you're not fond of Scotch, there's always good Irish -- Black Bush is very nice, and the Bushmill's single malt is wonderful.
I had a bottle of the 1608 at Christmas the year before last, and my whole family sipping it and making little cooing noises about how good it was. A guest looked at us, said "Huh, I've never had Irish," and reached for the bottle to pour some in his coffee. My father slapped his hand away and handed him the Jameson's.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:31 AM
And mcmc is banned!
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:32 AM
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass
Have you ever tasted a Scotsman's ass? Maybe it's a regional flavor.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:32 AM
Mmmm, ass....
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:36 AM
I wish I could have some now!
It's a bit early for me, but why not?
Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20).
But then it wouldn't taste so much like cheap red wine mixed with cola, and what fun would that be? Seriously, I've had some of the higher end stuff, and it is better. Lorikeet gets the job done, though.
Posted by JL | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:36 AM
LB's father is a man of sound principles
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:39 AM
You know, I'm having another one of my online dating conundrums. I'm never sure how much to read into someone sounding kind of lame and pretentious, but not stupid, on their profile. On the one hand, maybe they just didn't know how to approach the medium or something. On the other, wouldn't anyone I really want to date have a sense of how to come off well in writing and generally be funnier?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:40 AM
177: Funny is important. My bf had one bad moment in his online profiile, that I admit would have put me off if I'd been going on that alone. But on balance, the thing was hilarious (pretentious in an obvious mocking-the-medium sort of way). Isn't there some way to ask this person directly about whatever-it-is that's bugging you? I've found that that's the great advantage of the online thing--not worrying about tact overmuch initially.
But then I'm a bad person.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:43 AM
It's true I've never had Bushmills single malt. there might be an exception.
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:45 AM
It's too many things that are contributing to the lameness. I can't really ask him, "Why do you come off so stupidly in so much of your profile?"
Here is a sample:
"I travel with the alacrity of a Byron protagonist. I am gentlemanly to a fault. Be warned: thunder makes me randy as a stoat."
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:51 AM
Ah. It's the "trying too hard, and failing" thing. Yeah, don't date him.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:58 AM
That must be purposefully over the top.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 7:59 AM
I am gentlemanly to a fault.
He holds doors for subduction zones?
I might email back and forth a bit anyway -- while that's lame, I think online personals are hard enough that it's worth checking for how bad he is under more spontaneous conditions.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:01 AM
Here is a sample:
Jesus H. Christ. Turn and run.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:01 AM
I think it is purposefully over the top, but it just doesn't come off well, at least to me. I can't decide if I should give him a chance despite it.
Here is the entire objectionable passage:
I despise travel. I provoke a gag reflex in buzzards. I laugh seldom and only at the misfortunes of cripples. Beer is my beautiful and terrible god. No, wait, beer and NASCAR. You could grate cheese on my abs. Dude, two words: "Denver freakin' Broncos!" I punch kittens...
No, no, I can't do it. Damn. I'm trying hard to be a cretin, but I'm just not. Only one of the above statements is even remotely true. So if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint.
I can take tea at the Don's residence with the best of them, but would just as soon sneak out the drawing room window to meet you behind the stables and scramble hand in hand up Mt. Snowdon for a glimpse of moonrise and some purloined claret.
I cook exquisite breakfasts. I build things. I am very, very good with my hands. I will read aloud to you in a spectrum of accents (and if you're very nice, I might sing for you). I travel with the alacrity of a Byron protagonist. I am gentlemanly to a fault. Be warned: thunder makes me randy as a stoat.
A former student described me as "The Last Renaissance Man." Yeah, that sums it up nicely.
More About What I Am Looking For
Just now you are standing barefoot on a grassy hillock with a basket of fresh berries overlooking the sea. And now you are debating with me the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe. And now you are throwing me down to make me stop thinking so damn much. And now the campfire has died high in Inyo/Geirangerfjord/Annapurna, but we are snugly, warmly in our tent. (My parents owned sleeping bags that zipped together into one enormous sack-o'-love. I think that's the coolest thing ever. Except, now that I think about it, for the image of my parents ... eww.)
If you look like Natalie Wood, then I can stop working on this damn time machine and emergency floatation device. (The test-monkeys will be so relieved.) If not, that's okay too.
The Natalie Wood thing is kind of weird, too. I think it's unwise to ever talk about famous conventionally beautiful person you wish you could have in a Nerve profile, and it only makes it worse if they're dead.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:07 AM
180: that's pretty grisly. I vote no. No stoats.
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:07 AM
Are profiles normally that long and wordy?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:10 AM
Depends. Mine is.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:11 AM
Eh. Let me downgrade that to 'if you can't find anyone else on Nerve who's remotely interesting, maybe email to see if he's better off the cuff than when he's clearly trying much too hard.' But yeah, very uninspiring.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:11 AM
Mmmm...I love Dark and Stormys. It's one of my friend's signature drinks. I have fond memories of getting so drunk off of them on her roof in Brooklyn at her Fourth of July party a couple of years ago that I almost fell off. Good times.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:11 AM
Tia, does he look like a god? because otherwise, why? why?
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:13 AM
188 -- does yours compare your sexual prowess to that of a weasel?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:15 AM
I dunno, the Natalie Wood thing is the one appealing part (then again, I'm a freak). But "The Last Renaissance Man"? Dude, really. You'd better be richer than shit to make up for that.
I mean, he clearly put lots of thought into that passage and still came up with it. Imagine how tedious he must be in person.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:16 AM
Okay, he's rejected. New question!
So I emailed the guy from last night through the site to say I had a good time last night, thank you again, and to give him my real life email address. He wrote back very quickly through the site and said, "It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." (I'm off to my college reunion this weekend.) I can't tell whether that's a bad sign. He didn't say anything like, "Let's do it again sometime" or give me his real life email address. (I already have his phone number, and he already has mine.)
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:16 AM
the first 2 paragraphs, starting with "I despise travel," make him sound problematically snobby. it's fine to like the things you like, but it's not so cool to compare yourself positively (even in an ironic manner like this) to other people who don't have your tastes.
also, stoats. ew.
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:17 AM
I cook exquisite breakfasts.
In his profile? Not even wrong. Next candidate...
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:19 AM
oops. jinx. timing.
i think you have to wait and see if he calls back, or at most get in touch once and only once more, after your reunion, to test the waters.
okay, that's enough of me as giver of romantic advice! good luck!
Posted by mmf! | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:20 AM
I wouldn't worry about it -- giving someone your phone number is a bigger deal than giving them your e-mail.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:21 AM
198 -> 194
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:21 AM
I wasn't planning on contacting him again, just trying to read the tea leaves. And the phone number exchange happened before we met.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:22 AM
194: Doesn't sound terribly promising, but also doesn't sound like enough information to tell much. If you liked him, call or email and ask him out again. He'll say yes or no, and then you'll know.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:22 AM
definitely chiming in on the hell no to sex with Byronic stoats in their parents' sleeping bags. the other guy, well, he emailed you right back maybe he had a few windows open and it was just easier to do it the site way? well, but no "here's my email?" but then, you can contact him like you just did. I'm going forward on the "Tia is so hot and funny he's just tripping out" theory. works every time (as long as you didn't let it slip that you hate black people.)
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:25 AM
I know you're moving on, but it must be said: an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good. Nor can anyone who thinks that another person might enjoy listening to someone else speak in a variety of accents, or believes that an intelligent, adult, non-boring conversation would involve debating the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe.
Posted by JL | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:26 AM
201 hits the nail on the head. And if he says no, it's his loss, and thus nothing for you to worry about.
Posted by Idealist | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:26 AM
If you're planning to scramble up "Mount Snowdon" (? we called it fucking "Snowdon" when I was growing up, and since we lived there, I am right), hand in hand, be aware that you've got a fucking long and uncomfortable scramble ahead of you and that when you get up there, four days out of five, you're not going to be able to see the "moonrise" because the top is covered in cloud. Then you're gonna have to trudge down, feeling stupid, in the dark. And probably go over a ridge and kill yourself like at least one boy scout troop a year seems to do.
In related news ...
Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
You have my official permission to like sparkling Australian shiraz; the fact that you're a fucking pleb is clearly none of my business.
Irish whiskey. Oh yeah. My arse. It's whiskey for people who would rather be drinking vodka. Triple or quadruple distilled to remove any of that nasty "whisky" taste. Single malt Irish whiskey is actually laughable, given the prices they charge for it.
Malts are in general overpriced. They're all right from time to time but they're only really any use for after a meal when you're dining with people who you suspect will look down on you for drinking brandy. If you just want a Scotch, a good slug of Chivas is yer only man. (actually Ballantine's is probably the best blended whisky at 8, 10 and 12 year price points, but it is almost all exported so unless you travel outside the UK stick to Chivas).
J&B make a Scotch whisky for people who don't like Scotch and it is a perfectly nice drink; certainly much better than that Irish stuff for the money.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:28 AM
dsquared is banned!
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:29 AM
I dunno, man, I guess give it the wait and see. About a month ago I went out with someone that I quite liked, who I emailed to say I had a nice time and got a similarly brief response, so I was like "damnit! He's not into me!" but then I got a call like five days later. So.
In other dating conundrums, is it really true that you're not expected to be exclusive until you have the talk? That's what my friends keep telling me, but it just seems deceptive...
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:30 AM
(also note that if you're meeting this guy at "the Don's residence", be aware that even if you consider the faculty of University College North Wales to be "dons" which many would not as it is mainly an agricultural and marine biology school these days, their residences will be about forty miles from the foot of Snowdon and the roads are not very good, so you have quite a drive ahead of you before you start your ill-thought-out scramble).
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:31 AM
Did he work a Mt. Snowden reference into his Nerve personal?! Hells no.
I really like LB's advice in 201. Ask him out, see what he says, and then you'll know! It sounds so easy when she writes it.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:31 AM
There was a whole thread about that here, silvana. In my world, yes. There is nothing keeping you from talking about it early on though.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:33 AM
It makes me very happy to know that Snowdon is death on Boy Scouts. That's just right, somehow.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:34 AM
Hrmphf. Dsquared clearly does not respect my authority. In any case, Irish isn't for people who like vodka, it's for people who like whiskey and aren't crazy about the taste of peat smoke. If I want smoke, I'll suck on a charcoal briquette.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:36 AM
"It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." I think that means he's not interested, personally. But maybe he's just being casual or rushed. "Fun to meet up" is what I'd say, though, if I didn't want to think of the thing as a "date."
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:36 AM
I'm going to give him a chance to ask me out, at least. I think I should let a few days pass. Maybe ask him on Wednesday if he's free on Friday, if I haven't heard.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:36 AM
ahhhhh I was overcome with thirst (and I'm at home with the kids today) so I poured myself a Ballantines 12yr. God I am right. Irish whiskey? Pfaufh!
(they make whisky in Wales these days; I had a shot of it at Kettner's in Soho. It was really very bad indeed).
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:37 AM
The thing that confuses me is that he initiated a pretty physical hug, which is about the most you can go for on a subway platform, last night. I may have responded awkwardly though. But that's why I sent a note, to make up for responding awkwardly.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:38 AM
my mom's [first] name is sno/w/den. because she's that badass. and talk about hell on boy scouts!
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:38 AM
It's necessary to understand that D^2 was educated in the appreciation of wine and spirits by Lord Peter Wimsey.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:41 AM
As long as we are cataloging the faults of Mr. Stoat, "...but we are snugly, warmly in our tent" is pretty damn objectionable too.
Dsquared, I was looking around the other day for your essay on malt whiskey yield curves but could not find it. Could you give me a pointer?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:42 AM
As long as he's not making that claim in an online dating profile, I suppose there's nothing wrong with that.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:42 AM
#218: I more or less have been, this week at least. For one reason or another I have been dining in the gentlemens clubs (and the clubs for gentlemen who aren't gentlemen[1]) of Old London town. I can confirm that the only ones with decent cocktails are Black's, the Carlton and Milk & Honey. The Groucho is not bad but Soho House is very overrated.
[1] This is not a euphemism for strip joints
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:44 AM
#219: Never written a word about malt whiskey. Don't really know what the hell malt whiskey might be.
I wrote something about malt whisky once:
http://crookedtimber.org/2003/12/04/the-malt-whisky-yield-curve
is that what you are looking for?
I am currently in the market for a big hat with the c-word written on it, by the way, if you spot one on Ebay.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:46 AM
Dsquared's puncturing of Nerve boy's Britophilic pretentiousness is cracking my shit up.
It's also reminding me of an absolutely excruciating visit by an ex who I couldn't figure out how to get rid of when I was studying in England. He was affecting a Monty Python accent for god's sake. It's possible I've never been so mortified in my life.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:47 AM
Nice guy: It could be that, since he knows you'll be busy for the next couple of days, he's not doing anything right now. In any case, what everyone else said. (On preview: That is, I approve of 214.)
Stoat: TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOLIO. if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint. Don't sell yourself short, my man.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:48 AM
Ah, nemmine. Found it.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:48 AM
222: #219: Never written a word about malt whiskey. Don't really know what the hell malt whiskey might be.
Oh, really?
205:Single malt Irish whiskey is actually laughable
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:49 AM
(Thanks, yes. That's what I was looking for.)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:49 AM
I'd much rather date the guy who only laughs at the misfortunes of cripples. We could at least have an argument about why the Broncos are evil.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:50 AM
and some purloined claret
an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good
No, no, that's all wrong. More likely, he's trying to purloin your claret, because he's a vampire. This also explains the Byron reference, vampires are known for their of love of Byron.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:51 AM
It really saddens me that I wasn't around y'all when I was reading people's personal ads. It's a lot more fun to mock them in a group than it is to just silently roll one's eyes in private.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:51 AM
No, he only wants a glimpse of the purloined claret.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 8:55 AM
The guy's profile as quoted in 185 is beyond horrible. There's just SO many things wrong with it.
Also, Americans and 'multiple accents' don't mix. You guys are horrible at that shit.
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:02 AM
216: Re: awkward physicality at the end of a date.
A friend of mine had a Nerve date with a woman that didn't go that well. Stilted conversation and whatnot. When they were saying goodbye on the street he didn't want to hug her and a handshake seemed too formal, so he high-fived her.
I laugh every time I think about this.
Posted by dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:02 AM
233 -- awesome! Did he do the "Down low... too slow!" thing too?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:06 AM
233--That's hilarious.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:07 AM
I can't decide if a post-awkward-date high-five would tempt me to reassess, or would confirm that I definitely did not want to ever see this person again.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:09 AM
234 -- that would have been fucking priceless.
Posted by dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:09 AM
I have to say, I love these dating threads.
Posted by dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:13 AM
I like Calvados ok, but what I really like is Pommeau, although I didn't understand what it was for a long time. I had the impression it was really hard cider.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:16 AM
Only one of the above statements is even remotely true.
I'm guessing it's "I provoke a gag reflex in buzzards" because I can't see any way to fit that in with Mr. Stoat's stereotype of the uncultured.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:20 AM
*still laughing at 233*
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:22 AM
This discussion of alcohol is very informative, it will surely help as I assemble my new liquor cabinet this weekend. However, if one is concerned merely with efficiency and economy, there is my standard recommendation. I wrote another comment with the recipe, but as I cannot find it, the mixture is 1.5 L of grain alcohol, 8 L of lemon-lime Gatorade, and, for optional party-all-night purposes, 6-8 Red Bulls (adjust according to taste preferences and desired level of caffeine). Properly served in a bin, of course. Also, it should be noted that mixing with a big bottle of iced tea makes even the rottenest of the rot-gut vodkas surprisingly drinkable. Oh, college.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:30 AM
I will read aloud to you in a spectrum of accents
Does anyone actually enjoy being read to in a spectrum of accents?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:37 AM
It's fun if the book calls for it.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:38 AM
243: There was that "He do the police in different voices" guy in Dickens.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:39 AM
243: Jamie Lee Curtis' in A Fish Called Wanda. In fact, the entire ad reminds me of Kevin Kline's character in that movie. "Apes do not read philosophy."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:41 AM
I mean, I'd happily read in different accents to anyone who wishes it, but I always assume when I do that to people over the age of five that I'm being annoying.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:41 AM
There should be a "character" after "Curtis' ".
Now that I think about it, my father used to read me the Uncle Remus stories using the Brer Bear, Brer Rabbit, and Brer Fox voices and I loved it.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:42 AM
One of my ex-boyfriends did all the accents in The Princess Bride, except Miracle Max, which he totally muffed. I had to read those parts. I liked it.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:43 AM
I hate being read to, full stop, never mind in a spectrum of accents. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
A guy told me that a lot of the women he's dated have asked him to read aloud to them. I find this bizarre.
Posted by dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:45 AM
246: She got off (or purported to get off, it's unclear to me) on hearing people speak foreign languages, not having them read in foreign accents.
249: The one's from the movie, or improvising? Was the voice of the narrator Peter Falk?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:47 AM
re: 250
Yeah, people have asked me to read aloud to them. I generally get told I have a nice speaking voice... but the 'spectrum of accents' thing... shudder.
Posted by Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 06- 2-06 9:49 AM
Yeah, I'm big on being read to. Graham and I used to argue about it, and he'd insist he didn't read well enough to do it, and I'd insist I was sure he could, and he swore I'd get him to do a paragraph from a magazine at most, but I totally, totally won, and I got