So what is the deal with the convergence between the skinny, ill-groomed loser and super-stud archetypes. Kid Rock, like Kevin Federline, looks like he should be huffing glue in the Rite-Aid parking lot. These are the gys for whom "no shirt, no shoes, no service" was invented. How do they sit atop the alpha male heirarchy?
I have to agree with noted ninny Teofilo on this one. There's no way that marrying Pam Anderson puts you atop the hierarchy; she's a cartoon character. Insofar as your woman gives you status, I'd figure that the most status-conferring women are like JFK Jr.'s wife: thin, stylish, blonde, urban, moneyed, maybe haughty (I bracket questions of whether she was addicted to cocaine).
Then again, baa, I should consider that you're a big fan of professional wrestling, and so your peers are fourteen years old, and to them, Pam Anderson is the perfect woman. In that case, you should consider that for most fourteen year-olds, the perfect life is one of dissolution, sloth, and sticking it to the man, which K-Fed and Kid Rock seem to have perfected.
well, obviously Clooney and WJC are higher on the alpha male hierarchy than K-fed and kid rock. The latter, actually, seems to be on top of the STD vector pyramid. But look, has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?
Yeah, Pamela Anderson isn't really a status symbol. She is, however, a publicity magnet.
I actually feel sad about this wedding. Given her history with Tommy Lee, seeing those pics made me think, poor Pam. She *does* seem like a nice person, and yet she keeps marrying these assholes....
has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock?
I take your point here. I can't think of one. I guess Axl Rose was pretty skanky, but not as skanky. I can't help but think that Sayyid Qutb addresses this somewhere.
I googled WJC and came up with World Jewish Congress, which I can only assume is the previously-theorized international body which elects the Head Jew, and clearly belongs in the Mel Gibson discussion you people never had (which broke my heart. The first human being outside of a Mickey Spillane novel to unironically use the expression "sugar tits" and he goes almost completely overlooked here).
has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?
In order for this to be the case, the star value of Kid Rock would have to be currently increasing.
Also, I contest jones' second sentence. Kid Rock could be played out while it could nonetheless be obejctively the case that overall male star skankiness is on the upswing
Following the link, I was surprised to learn that Kid Rock is still alive. I had always pictured him dead in a ditch somewhere, his lifeless hand still clutching a can of Miller Lite.
I spend most of my time in a dark, wood paneled room drinking bourbon. So I'm not so much up on the youth culture. But seriously, would people deny: male stars of 00s more skanky than male stars of the 80s? I admit to impoverished data here, but that is my impression. I would welcome a qunatitatively rigorous rebuttal.
look, I'm not trying to get this published in Cell. it's just a (strong) impression I have. Do you actually think this impression is wrong, or is it just "verdict not proven?"
The apparent continued success of Nickleback leads me to this world-historical statement: I agree with baa. Standards of attractiveness for male rock stars have plummeted.
The American girl is well acquainted with her body's seductive capacity. She knows it lies in the face, and in expressive eyes, and thirsty lips. She knows seductiveness lies in the round breasts, the full buttocks, and in the shapely thighs, sleek legs -- and she shows all this and does not hide it.
Qutb must have had it rough when he visited us. I wonder what he'd've thought of Pam.
I don't understand -- what are we basing these doom and gloom predictions on? 'Cos the dude doesn't have a shirt? Isn't that a bit classist? My understanding was that they've been seeing each other for a while now, and this isn't one of those whirlwind marriage things.
And quite frankly, for the dudes that look like and listen to Kid Rock, doing Pamela Anderson DOES put you at the top of the male heirarchy. And Clooney and JFK Jr. are metrosexual weenies and their women are stuck up anorexics.
I'm not saying this is what I think -- but you've got to re-frame your value judgements for the appropriate audience. And I do know these people (here's a hint: Wedding Reception = Grilled hot dogs + Van Halen Karaoke in backyrard + Mullets).
Can one be skanky and glam at the same time? Gary Glitter is maybe what skank might have evolved into in some distant, fauxtopian future of skeevy robots and sketchy flying cars.
dudes, James Blunt (really? that's his name??), the dude dating Petra Nemcova (whoever she is) is not skanky. hipster-indie-slacker certaintly. Get your categories right.
Ok, I think we do really need a definition of skanky. Doherty doesn't strike me as skanky, and the grunge guys were grungy, not skanky. What, o muse, is skanky?
No, the kiddy porn problem really brings him back down to earth.
It's easy to say he's skanky now that we know he was into kiddie porn. But we have to make these judgments based on the context in which they were presented. Does this count, in and of itself, or is there too much reflective gold fabric involved? That's how I was approaching the question.
You can't be skanky if you're an actual pedophile. That's like calling a murderous psycopath "angry": it's true, but it dilutes the term, and quite frankly I feel "skanky" is such a word that we should all develop very similar mental pictures upon hearing it.
I personally apply the term skanky to any guy I could reasonably imagine contracted an STD from a girl whose belly was flopping out of her tube top. That is to say, a dude of questionable hygiene who oozes a perpetual indiscriminate horniness.
cheap, dirty and nasty is a great start. I'd add aggressive. Probably has an STD. Probably thinks he looks best in a wife-beater, with some tats and a small gold chain.
I think that all y'all are meaning here with the term "skanky" is "(white) trash." For which there is already a perfectly good, albeit offensive, term. There is nothing skankier than paying parents to let you fuck their children.
Carl nails it. Also, as midriff-baring tube tops have been increasing in frequency over the past several years, I take this as implicit proof of my supposition.
A generational translation then, is the fiance Connie Booth brings home (Michael Palin) to meet her father, (Graham Chapman). Seems to meet every criterion.
73: That's okay, Teo, everyone is a little skanky.
I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go grab the last beer and drink it while I sit here in a white tank and white undies, my uncombed hair in a ponytail on top of my head, sweating.
I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.
For the love of little apples. Drink your beer and leave me to my frizzy-haired speculations. This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.
Ooh, B! One of my friends here is a Chaucer scholar. He wrote a paper about feminine desire in medieval literature (conclusion: medieval authors never talked to any actual women.)
I am trying to kill my brain with wine. It isn't working. These goddamn brain cells are surprisingly resistant.
Dude, I am all about optimism re: the American experiment. Nonetheless, one should not be blind to the signs of decay inn the culture. Space in my unibomber shack is held for three lucky winners.
Irish. My father once walked into my room as I was listening to "Fairytale of New York" just as it got to the 'You scumbag you maggot you cheap lousy faggot," bit, and asked "So is this the Satanic music I hear about?"
No no no no no. R Kelly is not skank. He's peed on teenage girls. That is past skank and moving into Gary Glitter territory. Come on people, a little focus.
I agree w. B somewhat -- teenagers are perpetually indiscriminately horny -- but you have to (1) be of questionable (and I mean questionable) hygiene and (2) "ooze" your indiscriminate horniness. I also think the skank threshold should be lowered with age, to give some amnesty to desperate teenage boys w/ unfortunate pubescent moustaches.
The heat index says that we're at 85 degrees and 89% humidity and that the heat index is fucking 107. *And* I don't have a/c, so it's even hotter in this fucking house than it is outside.
I submit that in heat like this, everyone is skanky.
111: Indeed. My roommate and I have been showering twice a day because it is just unbearable otherwise. On the plus side, I'm getting work done because my office is sort of air conditioned.
Lowered with Age = Raised for Youth. No?
Carl, I was making a bitchass nitpick, so don't worry about it. Anyone who isn't me probably doesn't have a problem with it and I know what you meant. Cf., little bitch, reasons Cala is.
106: When my mom walked in when I was listening to the Pogues,* she said, "Is this that Pogues band?" I said, "Yes, how did you know." She said, "It sounds just like [name of Irish bar she grew up across the street from in Inwood]."
Why America rules: I have fucking air conditioning. And in a few minutes, I'll turn on the window unit which will condition the already-conditioned air in my bedroom until it is a cool 72 degrees.
Then I will invite all my bitches over, and we will make the sheets wet listening to Keith Sweat.
Actually that last part is false.
This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.
Yeah, well, Labs, we already know that what with your window treatments and your new sofas and your air conditioning and your gray ponytail, you're well past the point of no return.
Cripes. R-Kelly is not a skank. "Skank" implies unwashed hair. So Prince might be skanky, and any of the Jackson boys might be skanky, but R-Kelly is not.
The obvious skank indicator is, of course, Adam Morrisson's entry into the NBA. If he makes an All-Star game, we're back in the 70's (the apogee of skankiness).
Owen Wilson is, maybe, the anti-skank. How could anyone make that mistake.
Also, FL would probably find that women would take him up on the air conditioning offer. 100 freakin' degrees. This may not be global warming, but someone's got to be answering the complaints on the damn weather, and this sucks.
When I think "skank" as it applies to men, my mind conjures up the image of a man I once saw wearing a T-shirt that read "I snatch kisses and kiss snatches."
I'm shocked that there are no comments at all in this thread that address rap music. Movie stars and rockers aside, rappers today are over 300% skankier than they were 15 years ago.
Further reseaarch indicates that at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock, so the Old Milwaukee Light/ Busch Light portion of my comment above is withdrawn.
Y'all should cut it out right now, because I'm not going to believe that anyone drinks any kind of Coors or Bud or whatever else has been mentioned in this thread.
152: I don't really like beer. If I go to a bar, I know they'll have it, and it's fine. It's probably not the first one I'd go for in the grocery store, but I rarely buy beer for home consumption.
154: Didn't you tell us that you don't drink at all?
163: I used to be that guy. I always suspected that those guys came off as if they were trying to put some kind of man-crush move on the bartender. So I don't do that anymore.
Didn't Jon Davis also go all Jesus later on? That's a big tickmark on the skankometer, too. You have all the sleazy fun you want, then get Jesus to apply whiteout to all your sins.
197-8:
From the FAQ of the Shiner Bock webpage, a virtual smorgasborg of skank:
Q:I always see Shiner Bock in bottles, but I love crunching beer cans against my head. Do you make Shiner Bock in cans?
A:Yes, Shiner Bock is available in cans (and always has been)-we just sell a LOT more in bottles. You can always check with your local distributor to ask which specific stores carry Shiner Bock in cans.
204-
And 87% of all statistics are bullshit. Googling "bullshit wheat beer statistics" results in
this. How can one resist a title like Tucker and the Sociopathic Hooker Go to Court? Sounds like a film that Bizzaro Capra would have made. Not to mention that the sad story itself can be easily shoe-horned into this discussion on holy matrimony. A few NSFW links on that page, be forewarned. They don't call marriage an institution for nothing. (Yes an oldie, but goodie.)
OT I have a tiny piece of the Wall that I bought for 5 american dollars.
121, 130, 132: What is wrong with you people? I don't drink Coors. I am not a Nazi, a fratboy, or a skank. But Kid Rock drinks Coors, as evidenced by that incredibly stupid series of Coors commercials he was in that showed during every single football game during the 2004 season, I think it was. (Slogan: "Cool. Rock. Easy" or something like that.) I'm calling Homeland Security on all your asses because you are clearly Chinese spies. Jesus H.
ogged in 139, keep the faith, brother.
OK, now I see 145 etc., but you guys are already on your way to Guantanamo. Sorry.
And, Mr. 126, it's "Both how I'm living and my nose is large."
Also, despite the apparent evidence, Kissing Cigarettes is not me.
Is the apparent evidence because I fucked up the link? (Coughtwicecough) Being the new kid on the block sucks. I don't know the password to anyone's tree house in this pretty how town.
And, as the new kid on the block, please accept this fruit basket! (Too lazy to find the link just now, search the site for "fruit basket" using Yahoo!, Google doesn't work.)
Yahoo yielded pictures of actual fruit baskets. And some japanimation stills. Clicking through archived links yielded a big dog about to give himself a shark tea bag. Which goes quite nicely, with say, a bucket of chum. You should also all be on notice that there is a company out there called Glory Hole Chum Buckets.
218- I had a Sunshine Band, but they hit the Road, and I stayed to mind the farm. Also, ever since I was tea-bagged by Jabberjaw, I've been a she. I would however love to meet the straight man who is comfortable handling himself [sic] as Kissing Cigarettes.
220- Thank you kindly for the basket! It will go well with my case.
I suppose I didn't bring any baked goods though, better rectify that. My father is in fact The Last Danish Pastry, I think I'll offer him
Also, Pete Doherty is probably the epitome of British skank. James Blunt isn't - too posh, and he definitely has clean underwear on every day. Shane MacGowan - I'd say he was too drunk for the requisite horniness. I've been getting Kid Rock confused with Ad-Rock too.
You're right about Doherty, though, that blood-drawing/shooting up the passed-out girl is so skanky. Unless it's too far over the line into sleazy/just plain evil. Also MacGowan; Emerson got that right in 117.
I bow to Emerson's superior knowledge (or advantageous time zone). Thanks for the banning, I'm touched.
I always liked MCA best when I was a Beastie Boys fan. (And even if I didn't, KC sounds quite scary, I'm not fighting her/him/it for the King Ad-Rock.)
228- It's all bravado. I was born with two X's, I'll die that way.
Though I do tend to romanticize the whole Platonian/Origin of Love/Hedwig thing a bit to the extreme. I don't mind being thought of as scary, or as he/she/it, as long as I'm never ordinary. Then again, how ordinary is it to wish one wasn't so?
LizardBreath, I don't know you, but I love you. Because you named yourself LizardBreath.
And MW, thanks for the heads up about the preview appearance of links.
But BPHD I beg your humblest pardon. Don't ban me for my addiction. Anyway, it was Your Blog brought me here. Forgive a clumsy KC. I'll change my handle to Fucking Ecstasy if you like?
Has my Unfogged status been officially upgraded from Alien to Woman? I thought I'd have to post on here for at least a week before that would happen! MW? What say you?
Dude, you can be an insider around here for years without chosing a gender -- while occasional lewdness is semi-required, a fixed gender perspective from which to perpetrate it is not.
AWWWWW-- My last post resulted in a happy fun page picture of a witty bitty kitty kat. Getting my Woman on now, ain't I? Or at least my Little Girl. Grrrl. Whatever.
you people have it wrong regarding skanky beers. The worst is Steel Reserve. It has a slighly higher alcohol content (6%), is as cheap as they come, and I'd actually rather drink Natural Light.
Back to baa's theory about the skanky inheriting the earth (or at least inheriting the legendary blondes of the Hollywood), I give you:
Cisco Adler
flanked by Daryll Hannah and Mischa Barton, the latter of whom he appears to be dating,
and Richie Sambora, who has bedded both Heather Locklear and Denise Richards (pictured). I don't think Sambora has always been so skanky, but his look is definitely growing closer to "ungroomed redneck" than "hott rocker."
Skanky is blue-collar decadence. It's definitely a classist term. You can't be skanky unless you're trailer trash.
Skankiness in male sex symbols is on the march because more white trash folks have hit the big time. This is good for the nation; it democratizes our sinful ways. Paris Hilton is interesting -- she's both decadent (upper class) and skanky (lower class).
The Cary Grant sex symbol ideal is an upper-class emblem of grace; nothing democratic about him. And how sexy is he? I can't possibly believe Cary Grant had a dick.
Brandon Davis exudes skank, despite being born into wealth. It's an ungroomed thing. Or an "I would wear a trucker hat and still think I look good" thing.
And I could totally imagine Cary Grant's having a dick. I understand he had bad breath as well.
So what is the deal with the convergence between the skinny, ill-groomed loser and super-stud archetypes. Kid Rock, like Kevin Federline, looks like he should be huffing glue in the Rite-Aid parking lot. These are the gys for whom "no shirt, no shoes, no service" was invented. How do they sit atop the alpha male heirarchy?
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:33 PM
I say seventeen months.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:33 PM
1: With a big grin and a T-shirt that says, "Eat it, suckas!"
Of course, wait a few years, and they'll be bagging groceries like Kurt Warner. Without the brief comeback.
Posted by Halfway Done | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:39 PM
I see no evidence that Kid Rock and Kevin Federline sit atop the alpha male hierarchy.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:40 PM
I have to agree with noted ninny Teofilo on this one. There's no way that marrying Pam Anderson puts you atop the hierarchy; she's a cartoon character. Insofar as your woman gives you status, I'd figure that the most status-conferring women are like JFK Jr.'s wife: thin, stylish, blonde, urban, moneyed, maybe haughty (I bracket questions of whether she was addicted to cocaine).
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:45 PM
Then again, baa, I should consider that you're a big fan of professional wrestling, and so your peers are fourteen years old, and to them, Pam Anderson is the perfect woman. In that case, you should consider that for most fourteen year-olds, the perfect life is one of dissolution, sloth, and sticking it to the man, which K-Fed and Kid Rock seem to have perfected.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:48 PM
well, obviously Clooney and WJC are higher on the alpha male hierarchy than K-fed and kid rock. The latter, actually, seems to be on top of the STD vector pyramid. But look, has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:52 PM
Yeah, Pamela Anderson isn't really a status symbol. She is, however, a publicity magnet.
I actually feel sad about this wedding. Given her history with Tommy Lee, seeing those pics made me think, poor Pam. She *does* seem like a nice person, and yet she keeps marrying these assholes....
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 6:57 PM
has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock?
I take your point here. I can't think of one. I guess Axl Rose was pretty skanky, but not as skanky. I can't help but think that Sayyid Qutb addresses this somewhere.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:00 PM
Clooney and WJC
I googled WJC and came up with World Jewish Congress, which I can only assume is the previously-theorized international body which elects the Head Jew, and clearly belongs in the Mel Gibson discussion you people never had (which broke my heart. The first human being outside of a Mickey Spillane novel to unironically use the expression "sugar tits" and he goes almost completely overlooked here).
has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?
In order for this to be the case, the star value of Kid Rock would have to be currently increasing.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:01 PM
I assumed William Jefferson Clinton.
Posted by DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:05 PM
William Jefferson Clinton
Also, I contest jones' second sentence. Kid Rock could be played out while it could nonetheless be obejctively the case that overall male star skankiness is on the upswing
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:06 PM
For that to be true you would have to name some other skanky male stars.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:09 PM
Following the link, I was surprised to learn that Kid Rock is still alive. I had always pictured him dead in a ditch somewhere, his lifeless hand still clutching a can of Miller Lite.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:11 PM
Exactly; Kid Rock is not a trend.
Also: Clinton gets initialed now? Since when?
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:11 PM
Everyone on Jackass. Also, Vince Vaughn is sorta skanky.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:12 PM
has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock?
Gary Glitter?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:12 PM
the perfect life is one of dissolution, sloth, and sticking it to the man, which K-Fed and Kid Rock seem to have perfected
"Sticking it to the man" s/b "sticking it to the Pam."
And isn't Ogged's summary of the perfect life a lot like Conan's?
"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women."
Well, they're not mutually exclusive, though certainly not precisely parallel.
Posted by TJ | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:12 PM
Is Jackass still on? And Vince Vaughn is nowhere near as skanky as Kid Rock.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:14 PM
I spend most of my time in a dark, wood paneled room drinking bourbon. So I'm not so much up on the youth culture. But seriously, would people deny: male stars of 00s more skanky than male stars of the 80s? I admit to impoverished data here, but that is my impression. I would welcome a qunatitatively rigorous rebuttal.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:14 PM
I believe the burden of proof lies on you here, baa.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:15 PM
This is one of those discussions that makes me feel pretty good about being culturally clueless.
Posted by DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:16 PM
baa's totally right about this. Vince Vaughn, that guy who's dating Petra Nemcova, and some other people I'll think of in like thirty seconds.
The K-Fed/Britney thing just makes me cry.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:17 PM
look, I'm not trying to get this published in Cell. it's just a (strong) impression I have. Do you actually think this impression is wrong, or is it just "verdict not proven?"
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:17 PM
The apparent continued success of Nickleback leads me to this world-historical statement: I agree with baa. Standards of attractiveness for male rock stars have plummeted.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:17 PM
David Arquette is pretty skanky, as is the Butterscotch Stallion. Didn't Leonardo DiCaprio go through a skanky phase? Colin Farrell: skanky!
(Note: I'm not entirely sure what we mean by "skanky" here.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:18 PM
Yes! Vindication!
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:18 PM
Nickleback! Precisely! That guy wiould have trouble getting served at Chili's.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:19 PM
The American girl is well acquainted with her body's seductive capacity. She knows it lies in the face, and in expressive eyes, and thirsty lips. She knows seductiveness lies in the round breasts, the full buttocks, and in the shapely thighs, sleek legs -- and she shows all this and does not hide it.
Qutb must have had it rough when he visited us. I wonder what he'd've thought of Pam.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:19 PM
I'm sticking with "not proven" for now, but I haven't devoted much time to examining trends in male celebrity grooming and appearance.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:19 PM
Does Ashton Kutcher count? God, he needs to be punched in the cock.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:20 PM
Okay, seriously, is Colin Farrell skanky in the same way Kid Rock is?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:21 PM
Ogged, you dick, the B-Stallion is not skanky.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:21 PM
That guy who is dating Petra Nemcova
Holy smokes! Labs ain't kidding. This is clam-eats-lion level violation of the great chain of being.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:23 PM
I don't understand -- what are we basing these doom and gloom predictions on? 'Cos the dude doesn't have a shirt? Isn't that a bit classist? My understanding was that they've been seeing each other for a while now, and this isn't one of those whirlwind marriage things.
And quite frankly, for the dudes that look like and listen to Kid Rock, doing Pamela Anderson DOES put you at the top of the male heirarchy. And Clooney and JFK Jr. are metrosexual weenies and their women are stuck up anorexics.
I'm not saying this is what I think -- but you've got to re-frame your value judgements for the appropriate audience. And I do know these people (here's a hint: Wedding Reception = Grilled hot dogs + Van Halen Karaoke in backyrard + Mullets).
Posted by Carl | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:23 PM
Labs, you ass-muncher, there may be many paths to the waterfall, but they're all dirty.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:23 PM
>Isn't that a bit classist
Yes! And accurate.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:24 PM
Gary Glitter?
Can one be skanky and glam at the same time? Gary Glitter is maybe what skank might have evolved into in some distant, fauxtopian future of skeevy robots and sketchy flying cars.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:25 PM
Teo, you decide.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:25 PM
cancer is no excuse for dropping pronouns, Ogged.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:26 PM
Calling Gary Glitter "skanky" is a bit unfair to skank, is it not?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:26 PM
We need a working definition of skanky, because Owen Wilson doesn't seem close at all.
One test, for me, is if I can imagine the subject looking elegant, or if being dressed formally merely makes him look like more of a tool.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:27 PM
Are we seriously asking this question?
The 80s LA Hair Metal Scene? (Seriously, Nikki Six blows Kid Rock away)
The 90s grunge scene? (aka sweaty guys in flannel doing heroin and puking--Layne Staley, etc.)
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:27 PM
39: Okay, I'm coming round to baa's side here.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:28 PM
Gary Glitter is maybe what skank might have evolved into in some distant, fauxtopian future of skeevy robots and sketchy flying cars.
No, the kiddy porn problem really brings him back down to earth.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:28 PM
If you don't look like ass with stubble, you are not skanky.
If you do look like ass with stubble, you are skank.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:29 PM
Still, I know it when I see it. Ladies and gentleman, Pete Doherty.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:30 PM
46: I think the key is whether you try to cultivate that ass-looking stubble.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:30 PM
39 is not convincing me. See FL's test in 42.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:31 PM
dudes, James Blunt (really? that's his name??), the dude dating Petra Nemcova (whoever she is) is not skanky. hipster-indie-slacker certaintly. Get your categories right.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:32 PM
Orlando Bloom, in Pirates, is close to skanky, however.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:33 PM
Ok, I think we do really need a definition of skanky. Doherty doesn't strike me as skanky, and the grunge guys were grungy, not skanky. What, o muse, is skanky?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:33 PM
No, the kiddy porn problem really brings him back down to earth.
It's easy to say he's skanky now that we know he was into kiddie porn. But we have to make these judgments based on the context in which they were presented. Does this count, in and of itself, or is there too much reflective gold fabric involved? That's how I was approaching the question.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:34 PM
>hipster-indie-slacker certainly
Distinction without a difference. All those emo punks are embarrasing to Western manhood no matter how you slice it.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:34 PM
Wasn't Michael Jackson *the* pop king of the 80s?
And really, is anyone more skanky?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:35 PM
The urban dictionary says "looking cheap, dirty and nasty." That seems accurate, but insufficiently precise.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:35 PM
MJ is a world historical freak, and transcends skankiness by being king of the smurfs.
I think of skanky as being absolutely unlike Cary Grant. And, oddly enough, even more unlike Bogart.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:37 PM
You can't be skanky if you're an actual pedophile. That's like calling a murderous psycopath "angry": it's true, but it dilutes the term, and quite frankly I feel "skanky" is such a word that we should all develop very similar mental pictures upon hearing it.
I personally apply the term skanky to any guy I could reasonably imagine contracted an STD from a girl whose belly was flopping out of her tube top. That is to say, a dude of questionable hygiene who oozes a perpetual indiscriminate horniness.
Posted by Carl | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:37 PM
baa, hipsters don't know what emo is. Indie kids make fun of emo kids (and hipsters). Emo kids are too busy crying to notice.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:37 PM
And really, is anyone more skanky?
Michael Jackson isn't skanky. Michael Jackson looks like he's had any potential skankiness polished and buffed away until only The Martian remains.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:38 PM
55: Or Prince. Meets the criteria for looks, but is genuinely important.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:39 PM
Carl's definition is awesome.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:40 PM
That's like calling a murderous psycopath "angry": it's true, but it dilutes the term
Murderous psychopathy dilutes the meaning of "angry"? This makes no sense.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:40 PM
cheap, dirty and nasty is a great start. I'd add aggressive. Probably has an STD. Probably thinks he looks best in a wife-beater, with some tats and a small gold chain.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:41 PM
Prince is not skanky; he's a fop.
I think that all y'all are meaning here with the term "skanky" is "(white) trash." For which there is already a perfectly good, albeit offensive, term. There is nothing skankier than paying parents to let you fuck their children.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:42 PM
Carl nails it. Also, as midriff-baring tube tops have been increasing in frequency over the past several years, I take this as implicit proof of my supposition.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:42 PM
I personally apply the term skanky to any guy I could reasonably imagine contracted an STD from a girl whose belly was flopping out of her tube top.
I reiterate my insistence that the LA hair metal scene was the epitome of skank, then.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:42 PM
"perpetual indiscriminate horniness" is indeed awesome. I think this, with some of the former, constitutes a fine definition.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:43 PM
I agree with Carl. Which means that someone like Charlie Sheen easily qualifies, despite not appearing in public with much stubble at all.
Posted by Sommer | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:44 PM
"Perpetual indiscriminate horniness" describes anyone between the ages of 14 and 24. Come on.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:44 PM
Also, as midriff-baring tube tops have been increasing in frequency over the past several years
Wait, I thought this fad kinda died? A little midriff has become the norm, but not tube tops. Thankfully.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:45 PM
bitchphd is a skank!!
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:45 PM
70: Hey!
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:46 PM
I've had my skanky moments, yes I have.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:46 PM
A generational translation then, is the fiance Connie Booth brings home (Michael Palin) to meet her father, (Graham Chapman). Seems to meet every criterion.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:48 PM
70: I thought it pretty much defined the human condition, except that over time most of us get better at controlling it.
Posted by DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:48 PM
73: That's okay, Teo, everyone is a little skanky.
I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go grab the last beer and drink it while I sit here in a white tank and white undies, my uncombed hair in a ponytail on top of my head, sweating.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:48 PM
how did we let comment 69 go to waste in a thread about skankiness?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:48 PM
Ah! But I submit that Charlie Sheen is subject to the following counterfactual:
If X were to grow stubble, X would indeed be a skank.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:49 PM
I dunno, Michael, the way you wag that sweet, womanly cand of yours around at all the fellas, you might beat B out.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:50 PM
What say we?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:50 PM
I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.
For the love of little apples. Drink your beer and leave me to my frizzy-haired speculations. This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:51 PM
What say we?
Not skanky!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:51 PM
81. virgins can't be skanks. (i'm assuming, based upon his look. is he famous? )
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:52 PM
And is Kid Rock skankier than David Lee Roth? How about Gene Simmons?
The above are not rhetorical questions.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
Surely there are skanky people of color? I was watching some Bollywood channel yesterday and some of those guys were def skanky.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect
Indeed this was my point in my self-description. Plus, don't forget that some of the unfoggedariat have pictures of me naked.
Although my degree isn't in philosophy, it's in Chaucer.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
80. I'm just glad someone likes my ass.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
84: Lead singer for The Pogues.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
If he were to cultivate stubble, he would be a skank.
(Note, if you were to speculate that I have counterfactuals on the brain, you would be correct!)
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:53 PM
85: And what about Paul Stanley?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:54 PM
86. poor black guys are skanky.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:54 PM
Surely there are skanky people of color?
R. Kelly.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:55 PM
89. -1 music nerd points for Michael.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:55 PM
Ooh, B! One of my friends here is a Chaucer scholar. He wrote a paper about feminine desire in medieval literature (conclusion: medieval authors never talked to any actual women.)
I am trying to kill my brain with wine. It isn't working. These goddamn brain cells are surprisingly resistant.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:56 PM
R. Kelly.
Hell yeah.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:56 PM
Oh, Shane McGowan is the essence of skank. He must have enough money to have something rational done about his teeth, and yet he chooses not to.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:57 PM
Shane McGowan hasn't been sober since he first had the money to do anything about his teeth.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:58 PM
97: Yeah, I'm thinking our national health care ought to include some dental coverage.
Posted by DaveL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:58 PM
actually, if baa wants to despair about increasing skankiness in this world, he might go to xpeeps.com. it's totally not work safe.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 7:59 PM
R. Kelly is skankiness to the Nth power. Apostropher is the hero.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:01 PM
>if baa wants to despai
Dude, I am all about optimism re: the American experiment. Nonetheless, one should not be blind to the signs of decay inn the culture. Space in my unibomber shack is held for three lucky winners.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:03 PM
98: Wouldn't you think he'd have sought out dentistry in a moment of drunken impulse sometime?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:04 PM
Is he British? I believe Matt McG has previously explained the disdain Brits feel for us and our tooth-fixin' ways.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:06 PM
For the anaestesia, if nothing else.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:07 PM
Irish. My father once walked into my room as I was listening to "Fairytale of New York" just as it got to the 'You scumbag you maggot you cheap lousy faggot," bit, and asked "So is this the Satanic music I hear about?"
I said "Not really," and he wandered away.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:10 PM
104: Technically MacGowan is British, I think, but I wouldn't want to tell him that.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:10 PM
No no no no no. R Kelly is not skank. He's peed on teenage girls. That is past skank and moving into Gary Glitter territory. Come on people, a little focus.
I agree w. B somewhat -- teenagers are perpetually indiscriminately horny -- but you have to (1) be of questionable (and I mean questionable) hygiene and (2) "ooze" your indiscriminate horniness. I also think the skank threshold should be lowered with age, to give some amnesty to desperate teenage boys w/ unfortunate pubescent moustaches.
Posted by Carl | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:13 PM
Should not the threshold be raised for younger men, so that they do not meet it?
(brain: still kicking.)
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:16 PM
OK then, I submit to you: Tom Sizemore.
Posted by Sommer | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:17 PM
The heat index says that we're at 85 degrees and 89% humidity and that the heat index is fucking 107. *And* I don't have a/c, so it's even hotter in this fucking house than it is outside.
I submit that in heat like this, everyone is skanky.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:19 PM
This helps:
He also had a voice part in the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:19 PM
Cala: I think we're saying the same thing: Lowered with Age = Raised for Youth. No?
Posted by Carl | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:20 PM
14: his lifeless hand still clutching a can of Miller Lite.
Kotsko, you fucking commie, have you ever been in the same state when a football game was on TV? Coors.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:25 PM
111: Indeed. My roommate and I have been showering twice a day because it is just unbearable otherwise. On the plus side, I'm getting work done because my office is sort of air conditioned.
Lowered with Age = Raised for Youth. No?
Carl, I was making a bitchass nitpick, so don't worry about it. Anyone who isn't me probably doesn't have a problem with it and I know what you meant. Cf., little bitch, reasons Cala is.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:27 PM
clam-eats-lion level violation
Keep this up, baa, and I'm going to boil your rabbit.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:28 PM
McGowan is not skanky because hitting on random women at random times isn't his thing. He's a bust-out drunk.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:30 PM
106: When my mom walked in when I was listening to the Pogues,* she said, "Is this that Pogues band?" I said, "Yes, how did you know." She said, "It sounds just like [name of Irish bar she grew up across the street from in Inwood]."
*Not a euphemism.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:40 PM
Why America rules: I have fucking air conditioning. And in a few minutes, I'll turn on the window unit which will condition the already-conditioned air in my bedroom until it is a cool 72 degrees.
Then I will invite all my bitches over, and we will make the sheets wet listening to Keith Sweat.
Actually that last part is false.
This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.
Cala, dude, name names. Or drop hints.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:43 PM
*Not a euphemism.
Yes it is.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:45 PM
Matt Weiner is a Coors man? Sweet mother of God.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:46 PM
Yeah, well, Labs, we already know that what with your window treatments and your new sofas and your air conditioning and your gray ponytail, you're well past the point of no return.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:47 PM
Skanky phislophers? Maybe Bransom.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:47 PM
Skanky: Simon friggin' Blackburn, people. Let's just be honest about this.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:50 PM
Let's just say his lays are blind-reviewed.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:51 PM
Both my nose AND how I'm living is large, Bitch.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:53 PM
Cripes. R-Kelly is not a skank. "Skank" implies unwashed hair. So Prince might be skanky, and any of the Jackson boys might be skanky, but R-Kelly is not.
The obvious skank indicator is, of course, Adam Morrisson's entry into the NBA. If he makes an All-Star game, we're back in the 70's (the apogee of skankiness).
Owen Wilson is, maybe, the anti-skank. How could anyone make that mistake.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:55 PM
Do me, baby.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:55 PM
128 to 126, as should be obvious.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:56 PM
Seriously, Weiner, it'd be Coors Light, if it was a Coor's product. But really? Old Milwaukee Light or Busch Light.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:56 PM
I don't know where that apostrophe came from.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 8:57 PM
Good god, Matt, there is no excuse for drinking Coors. Yuengling, bro, if you need something cheap to chase away the game.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:04 PM
Also, FL would probably find that women would take him up on the air conditioning offer. 100 freakin' degrees. This may not be global warming, but someone's got to be answering the complaints on the damn weather, and this sucks.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:06 PM
Skanky is getting busy in a burger king bathroom.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:08 PM
Let's just say his lays are blind-reviewed.
This, genius.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:11 PM
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
Wow. I'd forgot.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:14 PM
When I think "skank" as it applies to men, my mind conjures up the image of a man I once saw wearing a T-shirt that read "I snatch kisses and kiss snatches."
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:15 PM
I'm shocked that there are no comments at all in this thread that address rap music. Movie stars and rockers aside, rappers today are over 300% skankier than they were 15 years ago.
Today:
Paul Wall
David Banner
Lil Wayne
Juelz Santana
Fat Joe
Back then:
Kool Moe Dee
Big Daddy Kane
Chubb Rock
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:17 PM
People, people. Weiner is one of our own. I'm sure that he was just correcting Kotsko on his setting of the scene; surely Matt doesn't drink Coors.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:17 PM
Ogged, you might be right, but if you're not, we're road-tripping with intent to brutalize.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:19 PM
What's wrong with Coors? (I prefer Bud Light, myself.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:23 PM
141 YOU FUCKING RACIST.
When I was younger everyone had to boycott Coors because the Coors family supported the Klan or something. This is why I became a republican.
You know, the burger king bathroom test seems more and more plausible...
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:25 PM
Dude, if I'm wrong, Weiner is going to have to have a long talk with the gay community of Labs and Ogged.*
*This is a euphemism.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:25 PM
What's wrong with Coors?
Here.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:27 PM
Further reseaarch indicates that at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock, so the Old Milwaukee Light/ Busch Light portion of my comment above is withdrawn.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:27 PM
at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock
Source?
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:28 PM
I don't know where that apostrophe came from.
Aha!
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:29 PM
Source?
Here.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:31 PM
Oh, that. I thought it was a taste issue, not a race issue. As I said, I prefer Bud Light.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:32 PM
146: Fuck.
Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Coors Light.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:32 PM
I'd endorse me. I'd endorse myself.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:34 PM
Jesus, Tim. Does the $5-blowjob-at-the-bus-station gig kill all your taste buds along with your self respect?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:35 PM
at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock
On Valentine's Day, in between sobs.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:35 PM
Y'all should cut it out right now, because I'm not going to believe that anyone drinks any kind of Coors or Bud or whatever else has been mentioned in this thread.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:37 PM
153:
All by myself {sniffle}
Don't wanna be, {whimper}
All by myself {oh, god}
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:38 PM
I'd endorse myself.
Ditto that.
Posted by Montana Slabs | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:39 PM
Jonathan Davis. Greasy hair, sings for Korn, married a porn star, and named their kid Pirate. That's gotta peg pretty high on the skankometer.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:39 PM
Pirate? That's kinda sweet. At least it's a word, rather than some strung-together syllables.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:41 PM
Breaking News: Ogged's lucrative endorsement deal with Ogged has been terminated due to self-loathing. How will he feed his family??
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:43 PM
152: I don't really like beer. If I go to a bar, I know they'll have it, and it's fine. It's probably not the first one I'd go for in the grocery store, but I rarely buy beer for home consumption.
154: Didn't you tell us that you don't drink at all?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:44 PM
I don't drink very much anymore, but back in my youth, I was a beer snob and even (embarrassing fact alert) had a beer bottle collection.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:46 PM
don't drink at all?
Get a little Natural Ice in him and he won't shut up about the Jews.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:47 PM
In any case, Bud Light? For the love of all that's holy man, ask the nice people at the bar what's good on tap and have that.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:47 PM
beer bottle collection
I feel so betrayed. Goodnight, and thank you.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:48 PM
I was a beer snob
I find that hard to believe.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:48 PM
165: Me.
163: I used to be that guy. I always suspected that those guys came off as if they were trying to put some kind of man-crush move on the bartender. So I don't do that anymore.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:50 PM
Nobody has to be embarrassed about anything they did in high school. Except teofilo's ex-girlfriend.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:52 PM
Timbot, you can't let gay panic keep you from having a decent glass of beer.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:53 PM
166: "What do you have that's good?"
"Lean over the bar and I'll show you."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:53 PM
In 1999 Stanley starred in a Toronto production of Phantom of the Opera, in which he played the role of The Phantom.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:56 PM
For future reference, Tim, Bass is always a safe call.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 9:56 PM
Shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from drinking all the beers in life that you'd like to.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:04 PM
171: I prefer Sierra Nevada, but Bass if fine, too. Generally speaking, I like the mixed drinks.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:05 PM
167: She was no longer in high school at the time.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:08 PM
pamala anderson-canadian
neko case- not canadian
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:09 PM
What's your point, Joe?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:15 PM
174: She should be ashamed of not losing it with you.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:20 PM
Didn't Jon Davis also go all Jesus later on? That's a big tickmark on the skankometer, too. You have all the sleazy fun you want, then get Jesus to apply whiteout to all your sins.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:24 PM
Get a little Natural Ice in him and he won't shut up about the Jews.
No, no, 'tis Natty Light that all the freshman adore.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:27 PM
Woops, that's Brian Welch.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:27 PM
I prefer Sierra Nevada, but Bass if fine, too.
Sierra Nevada isn't a beer, it's a brewery. It makes many fine beers.
Is no one but me a beer snob? I'm surprised.
My favorite type of beer is in winter the Baltic/imperial porter and in summer the fruit-flavored ale.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:34 PM
Didn't Jon Davis also go all Jesus later on? That's a big tickmark on the skankometer, too.
I don't think so, he just married the porn star in 2004.
No one who played bagpipes in the high school band can be called a skank. A poser, maybe.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:36 PM
179: See, Cala, I told you you'd like college.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:39 PM
Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:43 PM
Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.
I think by "Sierra Nevada beers" you mean "pale ales". The most popular Sierra Nevada beer is the pale ale, so that's probably the one you had.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:47 PM
Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.
B, why disturb our pilsner-style comity with this nonsense? Is it what I said about the squirrels?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:48 PM
I wonder if you can make beer out of squirrels.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:50 PM
It's queer. It's Squeer™.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:52 PM
177: Don't worry, she is.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:53 PM
(Not that it does me much good.)
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:53 PM
Nice hoppy finish.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:53 PM
191 to 169.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:55 PM
I'm with b on the pale ales. Too hoppy, most of them. Bass is good though.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:55 PM
I'm also delighted that apo remembered that story about my ex-girlfriend.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:58 PM
I like hoppy beers, but not the Sierra Nevada, which is bitter and nasty.
On the other hand, Two-Hearted? Fabulous floral hoppy beer.
Right now, however, I'm having a Pilsner Urquell, b/c it's the last beer in the house.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:58 PM
Maybe I'm not with b. I've never had Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 10:59 PM
What about Shiner Bock? Shiner Bock is nice beer.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 11:22 PM
Never had Shiner Bock either. What's it like?
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 11:28 PM
199!
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 11:47 PM
200!
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-31-06 11:47 PM
184: "Sierra Nevada beers are" s/b "I am"
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 12:55 AM
You don't know the half of it, baby.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 1:19 AM
197-8:
From the FAQ of the Shiner Bock webpage, a virtual smorgasborg of skank:
Q:I always see Shiner Bock in bottles, but I love crunching beer cans against my head. Do you make Shiner Bock in cans?
A:Yes, Shiner Bock is available in cans (and always has been)-we just sell a LOT more in bottles. You can always check with your local distributor to ask which specific stores carry Shiner Bock in cans.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 1:27 AM
95% of beer in Berlin is wheat beer.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 4:18 AM
Also, the skank discussion is polluted by conceptual inclarity.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 5:42 AM
22 gets it exactly right.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 5:51 AM
204-
And 87% of all statistics are bullshit. Googling "bullshit wheat beer statistics" results in
this. How can one resist a title like Tucker and the Sociopathic Hooker Go to Court? Sounds like a film that Bizzaro Capra would have made. Not to mention that the sad story itself can be easily shoe-horned into this discussion on holy matrimony. A few NSFW links on that page, be forewarned. They don't call marriage an institution for nothing. (Yes an oldie, but goodie.)
OT I have a tiny piece of the Wall that I bought for 5 american dollars.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 5:58 AM
oops.
i meant this.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:06 AM
damn. third time's a charm?
workyoubitch.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:16 AM
121, 130, 132: What is wrong with you people? I don't drink Coors. I am not a Nazi, a fratboy, or a skank. But Kid Rock drinks Coors, as evidenced by that incredibly stupid series of Coors commercials he was in that showed during every single football game during the 2004 season, I think it was. (Slogan: "Cool. Rock. Easy" or something like that.) I'm calling Homeland Security on all your asses because you are clearly Chinese spies. Jesus H.
ogged in 139, keep the faith, brother.
OK, now I see 145 etc., but you guys are already on your way to Guantanamo. Sorry.
And, Mr. 126, it's "Both how I'm living and my nose is large."
Also, despite the apparent evidence, Kissing Cigarettes is not me.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:22 AM
Is the apparent evidence because I fucked up the link? (Coughtwicecough) Being the new kid on the block sucks. I don't know the password to anyone's tree house in this pretty how town.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:39 AM
Is the apparent evidence because I fucked up the link?
Yes.
And, as the new kid on the block, please accept this fruit basket! (Too lazy to find the link just now, search the site for "fruit basket" using Yahoo!, Google doesn't work.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:44 AM
Oops. Tee hee.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:45 AM
Not a valid fruit basket. No fruit basket has been received by K.C. His Unfogged status is still "alien".
I'm not on the Awards Committee, I'm on the Judicial Committee, so I cannot correct this error.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:49 AM
And while you're at it, KC, help yourself to this complimentary bucket of chum.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:50 AM
OK, official fruit basket for K.C.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:53 AM
Never would've found it without the bucket of chum.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 6:55 AM
Shouldn't he get a Sunshine Band, too?
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:07 AM
Yahoo yielded pictures of actual fruit baskets. And some japanimation stills. Clicking through archived links yielded a big dog about to give himself a shark tea bag. Which goes quite nicely, with say, a bucket of chum. You should also all be on notice that there is a company out there called Glory Hole Chum Buckets.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:18 AM
Fruit basket.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:23 AM
shark tea bag
Be not deceived. That is the one true fruit basket.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:26 AM
218- I had a Sunshine Band, but they hit the Road, and I stayed to mind the farm. Also, ever since I was tea-bagged by Jabberjaw, I've been a she. I would however love to meet the straight man who is comfortable handling himself [sic] as Kissing Cigarettes.
220- Thank you kindly for the basket! It will go well with my case.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:35 AM
I might sulk now, I never got a fruit basket.
I suppose I didn't bring any baked goods though, better rectify that. My father is in fact The Last Danish Pastry, I think I'll offer him
Also, Pete Doherty is probably the epitome of British skank. James Blunt isn't - too posh, and he definitely has clean underwear on every day. Shane MacGowan - I'd say he was too drunk for the requisite horniness. I've been getting Kid Rock confused with Ad-Rock too.
Posted by asilon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:36 AM
I've been getting Kid Rock confused with Ad-Rock too.
Sorry you didn't receive your fruit basket. Will you accept a banning in its place?
BANNED! BANNED! ASILON IS SO BANNED!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:39 AM
JHC. Talk about attack of the killer tomatoes.
And Ad-Rock is so, so, so hot. And a competitive Scrabble player too. He can clear my rack any day of the week.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:40 AM
You're right about Doherty, though, that blood-drawing/shooting up the passed-out girl is so skanky. Unless it's too far over the line into sleazy/just plain evil. Also MacGowan; Emerson got that right in 117.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:43 AM
I went to high school with his cousin (or possibly the cousin of a different Beastie Boy, but I think it was Horowitz.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:43 AM
I bow to Emerson's superior knowledge (or advantageous time zone). Thanks for the banning, I'm touched.
I always liked MCA best when I was a Beastie Boys fan. (And even if I didn't, KC sounds quite scary, I'm not fighting her/him/it for the King Ad-Rock.)
Posted by asilon | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:47 AM
Kissing, I too thought of you as male. I think it was the Tucker Max link.
(Hey, unclosed link tags have really weird effects on preview.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:49 AM
I would however love to meet the straight man who is comfortable handling himself [sic] as Kissing Cigarettes.
Labs?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:50 AM
KC must be banned, because her handle makes me want to smoke.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 7:57 AM
228- It's all bravado. I was born with two X's, I'll die that way.
Though I do tend to romanticize the whole Platonian/Origin of Love/Hedwig thing a bit to the extreme. I don't mind being thought of as scary, or as he/she/it, as long as I'm never ordinary. Then again, how ordinary is it to wish one wasn't so?
LizardBreath, I don't know you, but I love you. Because you named yourself LizardBreath.
And MW, thanks for the heads up about the preview appearance of links.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:01 AM
But BPHD I beg your humblest pardon. Don't ban me for my addiction. Anyway, it was Your Blog brought me here. Forgive a clumsy KC. I'll change my handle to Fucking Ecstasy if you like?
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:05 AM
231 - "." s/b " pole."
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:08 AM
Aw, shucks.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:13 AM
I actually assumed KC was a woman.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:21 AM
Has my Unfogged status been officially upgraded from Alien to Woman? I thought I'd have to post on here for at least a week before that would happen! MW? What say you?
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:27 AM
Dude, you can be an insider around here for years without chosing a gender -- while occasional lewdness is semi-required, a fixed gender perspective from which to perpetrate it is not.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:31 AM
AWWWWW-- My last post resulted in a happy fun page picture of a witty bitty kitty kat. Getting my Woman on now, ain't I? Or at least my Little Girl. Grrrl. Whatever.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:31 AM
You're not fooling anybody, KC.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:34 AM
Ha, ha. Got you. I'm only forty FOUR. Sucka.
Posted by Kissing Cigarettes | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 8:44 AM
you people have it wrong regarding skanky beers. The worst is Steel Reserve. It has a slighly higher alcohol content (6%), is as cheap as they come, and I'd actually rather drink Natural Light.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 10:04 AM
Back to baa's theory about the skanky inheriting the earth (or at least inheriting the legendary blondes of the Hollywood), I give you:
Cisco Adler
flanked by Daryll Hannah and Mischa Barton, the latter of whom he appears to be dating,
and Richie Sambora, who has bedded both Heather Locklear and Denise Richards (pictured). I don't think Sambora has always been so skanky, but his look is definitely growing closer to "ungroomed redneck" than "hott rocker."
Posted by Wrenae | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 10:29 AM
Skanky is blue-collar decadence. It's definitely a classist term. You can't be skanky unless you're trailer trash.
Skankiness in male sex symbols is on the march because more white trash folks have hit the big time. This is good for the nation; it democratizes our sinful ways. Paris Hilton is interesting -- she's both decadent (upper class) and skanky (lower class).
The Cary Grant sex symbol ideal is an upper-class emblem of grace; nothing democratic about him. And how sexy is he? I can't possibly believe Cary Grant had a dick.
Posted by Adam Ash | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 10:35 AM
Ugh, my links/pics didn't work.
Cisco Adler
Richie Sambora
Posted by Wrenae | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 10:36 AM
You can't be skanky unless you're trailer trash.
I disagree.
Brandon Davis exudes skank, despite being born into wealth. It's an ungroomed thing. Or an "I would wear a trucker hat and still think I look good" thing.
And I could totally imagine Cary Grant's having a dick. I understand he had bad breath as well.
Posted by Wrenae | Link to this comment | 08- 1-06 10:47 AM