Re: Mile High

1

I'm proud to be an American once again!

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2

Another dilemma for parents. "Mom? Can I have a sleepover pair of plane tickets?"

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3

No transatlantic flights until they're 18.

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4

Do they specify the items one is allowed to carry in one's anus?

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5

4: Up to two liters of lubricant.

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6

4 oz of K-Y and a gel-filled bra? Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with that.

Okay, well, probably not, actually.

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7

I guess the neopagan homofascists have gained the upper hand against the Islamofascists. What must Falwell think?

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8

It's great that they're loosening up, but it's still all pretty fucking stupid as a response to a hypothetical attack that apparently would've been impossible to carry out in practice anyway.

(Am I hurting the Democrats' chances in November by saying something like that?)

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9

You hurt the Dems' chances just by existing, Adam. Don't let it worry you.

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10

It's great that they're loosening up

ATM; on a plane

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11

They're also allowing: "Life support and life sustaining liquids such as . . . blood". Once again national security is subordinated to the demands of the vampire lobby.

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12

Look, personal dryness may be a joke to you people, but not it isn't a laughing matter for the moisturally challenged.

Why, without synthetic tears, my eyelids would stick to my eyeballs like stickers to a bumper.

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13

The TSA dudes were listening to The Bends, when suddenly inspiration came over them.

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14

What I want to know is why KY is the one thing in my luggage that inevitably leaks all over everything else.

Do the TSA agents that inspect my checked luggage take some perverse delight in giving the bottle a good squeeze before replacing it amidst my socks and underwear?

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15

a hypothetical attack that apparently would've been impossible to carry out in practice anyway.

It would not have been all that impossible. The British authorities have muddied the water substantially by talking so much about TATP, which is not a liquid explosive and can't be sensibly prepared on a plane. They are presumably doing this for reasons of disinformation. The actual plot presumably involved nitroglycerine, which is a liquid explosive and which could do quite a lot of damage on a plane. I personally believe that the solution to such threats has to be based on specific surveillance of individuals (as it in fact was) rather than silly blanket restrictions which are public information, but IMO it is wrong to think that there is absolutely no substance to the threat.

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16

15: I trust your judgment implicitly, dsquared. Consider my mind changed.

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17

my source for this is good old Jamie Kenny, who knows a thing or two about explosions given that his own scrotum exploded recently.

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18

Did he have nitroglycerine in there?

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19

[From someone, via someone else]

Suspicious.

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20

19 - Merely using my source's requested citation.

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21

Is the TSA on Johnson & Johnson's payroll or something? Why only KY jelly and not, say, Astroglide?

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22

They are presumably doing this for reasons of disinformation. The actual plot presumably involved nitroglycerine, which is a liquid explosive and which could do quite a lot of damage on a plane.

Exactly. Everyone keeps blathering on about binary liquids and other shit, but regular old nitro is not complex to make, and if you keep it cool it reduces the shock sensitivity.

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23

20 - suspicious.

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24

I see that gel-padded bras are now permitted.

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25

And they've been reclassified as prothetics.

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26

I think you mean "prostethics."

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27

(I feel safer already.)

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28

Do they specify the items one is allowed to carry in one's anus?

Each passenger is allowed one tart.

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