he and his small arsenal of weapons were tracked down near the home of a witness set to testify against him next week in a hearing relating to the robbery charge
Holy shit, this guy is crazier than Mike Tyson. I guess the lint-remover should have been a clue. Do we now get a bunch of comments about how this isn't made sadder by the fact that he was a good football player? Fie on those comments!
It isn't made sadder by the fact that he was a good football player. It might have been made sadder if he'd been a great football player, but he wasn't.
ogged, a question for the sake of a friend: Do Iranian girls have a thing about flirting heavily and then pushing a guy away? I suspect such insanity is particular, but, hey, you foreigners are weird so I can't discount anything.
Actually, JM, the more technical name for a back of Clarret's nature is "they guy who rams the ball down their throat and makes them fucking like it, bitches."
Michael: can you think of why that might be? I can.
Silvana: I left a question for you at Kotsko's, are you coming home tomorrow? How long will you be in the air? Got to be the worst weekend in memory for a long flight, what with this liquid ban.
I'm a Columbusite — yes that's right, pronounced as if the first two syllables were one, clum — and so I looked it up in the Dispatch, to see if I knew any of the lawyers. Defense council must have some reason for wanting his trial to go right ahead, without the evaluation the judge ordered, but I can't figure it out.
I don't know a damned thing about football, eb, or, when it really gets down to it, sports in general. If, on the other hand, you need a run-down of how the Balanchine school's arm-positions differ from those of the Russian school, or of what use Graham's various students made of her technical innovations, give a shout.
23.--Oh shit, yeah, I always forget that there are two completely separate crews for offense and defense on each football team. What an incredibly bureaucratic game.
Seems I remember a DFW essay, something about "Derivative Sports," where the very limited nature of athlete's education is identified as something we hide from ourselves. It'll be interesting to read about that evaluation, though.
IDP-
Yeah, I'm coming home tomorrow (actually leaving in a couple hours), come hell or high water. The last 48 hours have been an exercise in disaster--my purse was stolen from a bar, leaving me penniless, without keys to the hostel, my locker, or to my apartment in Chicago. For ten hours I thought my passport was in said purse, until I had the lock cut off my locker and found it in there (thank Jesus fucking Christ). Then I found out that a third of all Sunday's flights out of Heathrow (through which I am flying) have been cancelled. Tried to find out whether mine was, couldn't get anyone on the phone. Finally had to call a friend in Chicago to get him to call the toll-free US number and find out for me (also asked said friend to pick me up from the airport since I have no cash, no way to get cash, and thus no way to get home). Luckily still scheduled. Now, I have to manage to arrive in Heathrow, collect my bag, go through security again at a different terminal, and make the flight in an hour and 40 minutes.
Also, I am not permitted to bring anything but my passport on the flight, so it's going to be quite a long one.
29: Thank you! God, we had so much to do on the house yesterday still that we didn't leave until, what, 7 pm? I dunno. Anyway, shortly past Kalamazoo at about 4 am I decided it was stupid to keep driving (Mr. B. had conked out after Battle Creek) and we got a room in a really downmarket Best Western. Didn't they used to be decent? (God, I've totally turned into my Grandma. My folks always just went to Motel 6.) So we arrived in Bolingbrooke today at 1:45, 15 minutes before the party PK was invited to. So PK and I played all afternoon at a water park in Bolingbrooke and then Mr. B. picked us up at 5:30 and we finally got to Wheaton at 6ish?
I'm exhausted.
I might be able to make it into the city on Tuesday. Might. If it looks like it'll pan out, I'll email everyone who emailed me about getting together, fyi.
27 -- but having a separate offensive and defensive team is hardly unique to football among sports. At least baseball does the same, and... well are there really any other team sports besides football and baseball? Synchronized swimming I guess.
Family legend has it that one of my great-grandfathers got caught in a canyon during a flash flood and that he kept himself awake, alive, and distracted by reciting every scrap of poetry and song he'd ever memorized. I hope you get decent in-flight movies.
39: I mentioned the possibility on my blog. It depends on time--I'm really trying hard not to do the overscheduling thing I'm so prone to. But if you think you'll be over your jet lag, I'm thinking Tuesday, maybe??
42 -- yeah, they really watered it down when they made it an Olympic event but as originally practiced in the swimming pools of South Jersey it was a pretty vicious sport.
Cool! I'll email you. I'll probably be over jet lag, I hope, but I'm feeling pretty hermity and may not want to leave the house for a week.
Thanks, Becks. It's ok, though. It just means that this may be the sweetest homecoming I've had from travel in a while--I am so fucking happy to be going home.
53.--It was the Utahn side of the family, so I'm reckoning less Robert Service and more hymns. The legend was short on specifics and long on the value of rote-memorization education, I'm afraid.
OK, Mark invited me to go to The Spiegeltent with him (which is this Germanish tent show with weird variety acts that's in NYC for the next few weeks) and, of course, I said yes because I'm up for most anything, even though I'd never heard of it. I just Googled around to see what I signed on for and found a video of one of the acts we'll be seeing. (Warning: I could only get it to work in Firefox. And it's kind of lame, so fast forward to the end for the Mineshaft-y kicker. And it's NSFW.)
56 is the truth. College team sports are terrible. The exception being the women's basketball which is played at a higher level than the WNBA. Also, whenever I watch the NCAA I feel like I'm party to a crime.
Also, can I defend Boutique vodka because the bottles are so beautiful? Someone witty said they all look like reliquaries now.
I can't believe anyone who actually watches/enjoys sports would disparage college athletics (in America, at least -- internationally may be different). College football is nearly as good as NFL (and would probably be better if they'd adopt a damn playoff system), and NCAA basketball is far superior to the NBA. I will grant that there is no reason to watch college baseball (though, probably for that very reason, you'd be hard pressed to find very many televised games to watch even if you wanted to). Same with soccer.
College football is nearly as good as NFL (and would probably be better if they'd adopt a damn playoff system), and NCAA basketball is far superior to the NBA.
Yes, but then I might have to drink the grappa. And boutique vinegar is for Mike Tyson, if you know what I mean.
At least when you drink expensive grappa, you can tell that you're drinking something different from inexpensive grappa. High-end vodka is basically pure profit, since it's just redistilled spirits purchased from ADM, with large amounts of water and infinitesimal amounts of flavoring added back in.
I take it that you concede the point w.r.t eaux de vie.
46: Also in Jersey League synchronized swimming, the victors used to tear out the hearts of their opponents after a meet. The Olympic version is truly a pale imitation.
College football is nearly as good as NFL
Michael Crichton is nearly as good as John Grisham. And Jewel is nearly as good as Céline Dion.
That's what you get for emotionally investing in college students.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:11 PM
he and his small arsenal of weapons were tracked down near the home of a witness set to testify against him next week in a hearing relating to the robbery charge
Holy shit, this guy is crazier than Mike Tyson. I guess the lint-remover should have been a clue. Do we now get a bunch of comments about how this isn't made sadder by the fact that he was a good football player? Fie on those comments!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:14 PM
Ogged, this is not made sadder by the fact that he was a good football player.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:26 PM
Also, eat your greens.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:28 PM
It isn't made sadder by the fact that he was a good football player. It might have been made sadder if he'd been a great football player, but he wasn't.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:39 PM
Don't we need to know what CD we see in the background of that picture? What if it was that devil-music that drove him to it?
Posted by mrh | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:44 PM
I take it that a "tailback" in American football is like a center-back or a sweeper?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:46 PM
If you'd invested yourself emotionally in college students, you'd be able to answer that question.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:50 PM
All football positioins sound vaguely sexual to me.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:51 PM
6: apparently, it was a CD of children's songs recorded by prison inmates. I wish I were making this up.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:52 PM
what CD
A CD featuring children's songs recorded by Ohio prison inmates
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:53 PM
Was that a veiled comparison to the twelve-man, three-down version played somewhere else, JM? Or was it to rugby?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:53 PM
ogged, a question for the sake of a friend: Do Iranian girls have a thing about flirting heavily and then pushing a guy away? I suspect such insanity is particular, but, hey, you foreigners are weird so I can't discount anything.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:55 PM
Actually, JM, the more technical name for a back of Clarret's nature is "they guy who rams the ball down their throat and makes them fucking like it, bitches."
Michael: can you think of why that might be? I can.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:56 PM
14 to 9 or 13?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 7:58 PM
14 to 9.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:00 PM
I'm guessing JM is thinking of soccer.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:02 PM
Right. You calling me a pervert?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:04 PM
Although that doesn't really make any sense.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:04 PM
I didn't know that this "Galley Slaves" blog existed until this post, and I am perplexed by it.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:04 PM
19 refers to 17.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:06 PM
Dear Michael,
I was calling you a giant homo.
Regards,
F. Labs
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:06 PM
JM: See here.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:13 PM
Silvana: I left a question for you at Kotsko's, are you coming home tomorrow? How long will you be in the air? Got to be the worst weekend in memory for a long flight, what with this liquid ban.
I'm a Columbusite — yes that's right, pronounced as if the first two syllables were one, clum — and so I looked it up in the Dispatch, to see if I knew any of the lawyers. Defense council must have some reason for wanting his trial to go right ahead, without the evaluation the judge ordered, but I can't figure it out.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:15 PM
I don't know a damned thing about football, eb, or, when it really gets down to it, sports in general. If, on the other hand, you need a run-down of how the Balanchine school's arm-positions differ from those of the Russian school, or of what use Graham's various students made of her technical innovations, give a shout.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:16 PM
Aren't all good football players basically crazy assholes on some level? Or at least most of them?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:18 PM
23.--Oh shit, yeah, I always forget that there are two completely separate crews for offense and defense on each football team. What an incredibly bureaucratic game.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:19 PM
Dear M. Labs,
I fear you are projecting,
onto me
Your penchant for felching,
You may say I hang out
in leather bars,
But I hear that,
you smoke more cock than Castro smokes Cigars.
xoxo,
Michael
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:20 PM
Welcome to our fair city, B.
Seems I remember a DFW essay, something about "Derivative Sports," where the very limited nature of athlete's education is identified as something we hide from ourselves. It'll be interesting to read about that evaluation, though.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:22 PM
OSU is a bunch of thugs.
That is all.
Go Irish!
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:23 PM
What'd you think of the target-shooting stock on that AK in the picture, Cala?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:24 PM
I think it's overkill for getting rid of lint.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:26 PM
Cala, don't make me come over there with my semi-automatic weapon, my lint roller, and my fond memory of the last Fiesta Bowl.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:27 PM
IDP-
Yeah, I'm coming home tomorrow (actually leaving in a couple hours), come hell or high water. The last 48 hours have been an exercise in disaster--my purse was stolen from a bar, leaving me penniless, without keys to the hostel, my locker, or to my apartment in Chicago. For ten hours I thought my passport was in said purse, until I had the lock cut off my locker and found it in there (thank Jesus fucking Christ). Then I found out that a third of all Sunday's flights out of Heathrow (through which I am flying) have been cancelled. Tried to find out whether mine was, couldn't get anyone on the phone. Finally had to call a friend in Chicago to get him to call the toll-free US number and find out for me (also asked said friend to pick me up from the airport since I have no cash, no way to get cash, and thus no way to get home). Luckily still scheduled. Now, I have to manage to arrive in Heathrow, collect my bag, go through security again at a different terminal, and make the flight in an hour and 40 minutes.
Also, I am not permitted to bring anything but my passport on the flight, so it's going to be quite a long one.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:29 PM
For what it's worth, JM, I don't even know if you're referring to ballet, is such a thing exists.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:31 PM
if
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:32 PM
29: Thank you! God, we had so much to do on the house yesterday still that we didn't leave until, what, 7 pm? I dunno. Anyway, shortly past Kalamazoo at about 4 am I decided it was stupid to keep driving (Mr. B. had conked out after Battle Creek) and we got a room in a really downmarket Best Western. Didn't they used to be decent? (God, I've totally turned into my Grandma. My folks always just went to Motel 6.) So we arrived in Bolingbrooke today at 1:45, 15 minutes before the party PK was invited to. So PK and I played all afternoon at a water park in Bolingbrooke and then Mr. B. picked us up at 5:30 and we finally got to Wheaton at 6ish?
I'm exhausted.
I might be able to make it into the city on Tuesday. Might. If it looks like it'll pan out, I'll email everyone who emailed me about getting together, fyi.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:32 PM
27 -- but having a separate offensive and defensive team is hardly unique to football among sports. At least baseball does the same, and... well are there really any other team sports besides football and baseball? Synchronized swimming I guess.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:33 PM
Dude! What did I miss? Is there going to be a get-together involving you?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:34 PM
34.--Oh, no.
Family legend has it that one of my great-grandfathers got caught in a canyon during a flash flood and that he kept himself awake, alive, and distracted by reciting every scrap of poetry and song he'd ever memorized. I hope you get decent in-flight movies.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:34 PM
Glad you'll be picked-up, sorry for your trouble, Good luck on the flight.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:35 PM
synchronized has defense and offense?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:37 PM
B, I cleaned up a minor indiscretion error in 37.
Silvana, that suuuuucks. So sorry to hear the end of your trip hasn't been as good as the rest.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:38 PM
Boutique vodka? What a tool.
Posted by jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:38 PM
39: I mentioned the possibility on my blog. It depends on time--I'm really trying hard not to do the overscheduling thing I'm so prone to. But if you think you'll be over your jet lag, I'm thinking Tuesday, maybe??
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:39 PM
42 -- yeah, they really watered it down when they made it an Olympic event but as originally practiced in the swimming pools of South Jersey it was a pretty vicious sport.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:39 PM
43: Oh, thank you. I make that one all the time and usually catch it myself. I'm surprised I haven't done it on my own damn blog yet.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:40 PM
46: I had no idea. Shocking. (Almost as shocking as the number of 80s metal gods Fontana has had relations with.)
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:41 PM
Cala, don't make me come over there with my semi-automatic weapon, my lint roller, and my fond memory of the last Fiesta Bowl.
Charlie and the Touchdown Factory, man. Do not get in our way with your lint roller, poser. Go get your team out of jail/Columbus.
Sorry, silvana. Good luck with getting home with sanity intact.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:42 PM
Make me do my laundry, people. Or, better -- one of you come over and do it.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:43 PM
Cool! I'll email you. I'll probably be over jet lag, I hope, but I'm feeling pretty hermity and may not want to leave the house for a week.
Thanks, Becks. It's ok, though. It just means that this may be the sweetest homecoming I've had from travel in a while--I am so fucking happy to be going home.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:43 PM
Becks, I'll do your laundry and you figure out how to fit all the crap from my carryon into an already-full suitcase.
Shit, I should be packing.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:45 PM
reciting every scrap of poetry and song he'd ever memorized
I'm guessing Robert W. Service, maybe some Burns. What else do you think? I love thinking about what my grandparents read
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:50 PM
Cala, a nice Catholic girl like you might be unaware of such things, but the last time these two teams met it was a debacle for God's eleven.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:51 PM
53.--It was the Utahn side of the family, so I'm reckoning less Robert Service and more hymns. The legend was short on specifics and long on the value of rote-memorization education, I'm afraid.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 8:59 PM
Why do people even watch college sports anymore? There are people who play the same game for a living, and they play it much, much better.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 9:02 PM
Oh, I am entirely aware, however, that does not change the fact that OSUcks.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 9:04 PM
OK, Mark invited me to go to The Spiegeltent with him (which is this Germanish tent show with weird variety acts that's in NYC for the next few weeks) and, of course, I said yes because I'm up for most anything, even though I'd never heard of it. I just Googled around to see what I signed on for and found a video of one of the acts we'll be seeing. (Warning: I could only get it to work in Firefox. And it's kind of lame, so fast forward to the end for the Mineshaft-y kicker. And it's NSFW.)
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 9:18 PM
This from an institution that depicts Our Lady as some cheap gutter whore. Hmph.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 9:22 PM
56 is the truth. College team sports are terrible. The exception being the women's basketball which is played at a higher level than the WNBA. Also, whenever I watch the NCAA I feel like I'm party to a crime.
Also, can I defend Boutique vodka because the bottles are so beautiful? Someone witty said they all look like reliquaries now.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 08-12-06 10:17 PM
whenever I watch the NCAA I feel like I'm party to a crime.
This is exactly why I enjoy it.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 12:05 AM
Hey, Becks, at least he's coming up with a plan?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 12:18 AM
is Witty the new Bright?
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 6:42 AM
Also, can I defend Boutique vodka because the bottles are so beautiful? Someone witty said they all look like reliquaries now.
No. The bottles don't come close to approximating the awesomeness found in bottles of expensive grappa, eau de vie, or vinegar.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 6:56 AM
Why do people even watch college sports anymore?
ACC basketball, you infidels.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 7:04 AM
This would be made sadder if he had been a great 43-Man Squamish player.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 7:07 AM
Why do people even watch college sports anymore? There are people who play the same game for a living, and they play it much, much better.
It's a poor sport that consists solely of the sum of its plays.
Posted by Duvall | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 8:07 AM
It's a poor sport that consists solely of the sum of its plays.
Is that Oblique for, "College sports mean hot, drunk college girls"?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 8:46 AM
>the awesomeness found in bottles of expensive grappa, eau de vie, or vinegar.
Yes, but then I might have to drink the grappa. And boutique vinegar is for Mike Tyson, if you know what I mean.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 8:53 AM
>This is exactly why I enjoy it.
I get that from voting.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 9:03 AM
25-22!
Cala, are you going to throw the horns up on Sept 9?
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 10:47 AM
I get that from voting.
Straussian.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 10:54 AM
And boutique vinegar is for Mike Tyson, if you know what I mean.
You mean it's for fags? and somehow grappa isn't?
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 11:02 AM
I can't believe anyone who actually watches/enjoys sports would disparage college athletics (in America, at least -- internationally may be different). College football is nearly as good as NFL (and would probably be better if they'd adopt a damn playoff system), and NCAA basketball is far superior to the NBA. I will grant that there is no reason to watch college baseball (though, probably for that very reason, you'd be hard pressed to find very many televised games to watch even if you wanted to). Same with soccer.
Posted by Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 11:21 AM
College football is nearly as good as NFL (and would probably be better if they'd adopt a damn playoff system), and NCAA basketball is far superior to the NBA.
Seek help.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 11:39 AM
Yes, but then I might have to drink the grappa. And boutique vinegar is for Mike Tyson, if you know what I mean.
At least when you drink expensive grappa, you can tell that you're drinking something different from inexpensive grappa. High-end vodka is basically pure profit, since it's just redistilled spirits purchased from ADM, with large amounts of water and infinitesimal amounts of flavoring added back in.
I take it that you concede the point w.r.t eaux de vie.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 12:06 PM
It's also rather duplicitous to praise something for the container and then, when faced with a better container, disparage its contents.
baa: pithy but dishonest.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 12:12 PM
46: Also in Jersey League synchronized swimming, the victors used to tear out the hearts of their opponents after a meet. The Olympic version is truly a pale imitation.
College football is nearly as good as NFL
Michael Crichton is nearly as good as John Grisham. And Jewel is nearly as good as Céline Dion.
Posted by jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 3:19 PM
It's also rather duplicitous to praise something for the container and then, when faced with a better container, disparage its contents.
Not necessarily. Potable contents are a necessary condition of buying the bottle, yet quality of bottle can warrant premium price.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 4:02 PM
It's also rather duplicitous to praise something for the container and then, when faced with a better container, disparage its contents.
Not necessarily. Potable contents are a necessary condition of buying the bottle, yet quality of bottle can warrant premium price.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 4:03 PM
Uh oh, it looks like George Washington is in trouble.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 8:43 PM
78: Hate America if you must, but try to keep the puppy-eating behind closed doors.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-06 10:03 PM
82: I meant no disrespect. Football's fathomless vulgarity is a part of the glorious American mosaic.
Posted by jmcq | Link to this comment | 08-14-06 12:06 AM
You don't like it, move to Russia.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 08-14-06 5:01 AM
If you want to bash a sport, at least bash a fake one, like soccer or cycling.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-06 5:55 AM
83 gets it exactly right.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08-14-06 8:27 AM
B, I believe you are covered by the Wolfson rule as well.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-14-06 9:43 AM