"Arabian Jazz" has two cousins who have met for the first time agreeing to let people continue to believe that they are engaged, since that way their aunts will leave them alone. It's very funny because it's an anti-Romeo-and-Juliet story -- they're actually very compatible and comfortable with one another, but they couldn't possibly marry because their families want them to do so so badly.
I took a class with the author, Diana Abu-Jabar, and she was great.
4- The first year he got to USC, my Vietnamese friend's parents called him. "Good news!", they said, "We found your wife! She's another USC student and her family and horoscope is perfect!" My friend met with the woman for about twenty minutes, where they both figured out how they would tell their parents that they would not be marrying.
A couple years later, they ran into each other at a party, liked each other, and were inseparable for three more years. My friend did indeed propose to her, although he broke that off to become a Buddhist monk. He is now the abbott at Deer Park Monastary in San Diego.
This would have frightened me when I was young, and of course I'm still glad my parents had no hand in finding my wife, but my sense of how it could go in other societies was illuminated by Nirad Chaudhuri's Autobiography of an Unknown Indian. I also recommend the continuation, published many years later, of his life through the period around independence: Thy Hand, Great Anarch!. Several of you who have posted this morning will recognise the quote; it's typical of Chaudhuri's European learning.
The idea of an arranged marriage used to bewilder me when I was younger, but then I realized that as long as the couple had veto power, chances are your parents won't pick someone you completely abhor, and it saves you having to introduce your significant other to your parents.
In traditional society, veto power was the rare exception.
My angle on it is, "How could it be worse than the present system?" But I would say that.
A divorce lawyer suggested that instead of getting married, people should save themselves grief and just give half their property to the person in the world they hate most, right at the beginning. True, his dataset was skewed.
So, did you find out about it from your mom?
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:14 AM
We need Sacha Baron Cohen to crash one of these things.
Posted by Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:19 AM
Hey -gg-d, did you read "White Teeth"? That has got some Muslim family complaining stuff in it that is clever and well-written.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:14 AM
"Arabian Jazz" has two cousins who have met for the first time agreeing to let people continue to believe that they are engaged, since that way their aunts will leave them alone. It's very funny because it's an anti-Romeo-and-Juliet story -- they're actually very compatible and comfortable with one another, but they couldn't possibly marry because their families want them to do so so badly.
I took a class with the author, Diana Abu-Jabar, and she was great.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:40 AM
Christ, most of my younger cousins have babies now.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:20 AM
4- The first year he got to USC, my Vietnamese friend's parents called him. "Good news!", they said, "We found your wife! She's another USC student and her family and horoscope is perfect!" My friend met with the woman for about twenty minutes, where they both figured out how they would tell their parents that they would not be marrying.
A couple years later, they ran into each other at a party, liked each other, and were inseparable for three more years. My friend did indeed propose to her, although he broke that off to become a Buddhist monk. He is now the abbott at Deer Park Monastary in San Diego.
Posted by Megan | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:25 AM
My cousin's mom was *so* thrilled when she (cousin) got married after me but had a baby right away. Poor girl.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 9:20 AM
This would have frightened me when I was young, and of course I'm still glad my parents had no hand in finding my wife, but my sense of how it could go in other societies was illuminated by Nirad Chaudhuri's Autobiography of an Unknown Indian. I also recommend the continuation, published many years later, of his life through the period around independence: Thy Hand, Great Anarch!. Several of you who have posted this morning will recognise the quote; it's typical of Chaudhuri's European learning.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 9:38 AM
The moms are so cute!
Posted by rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 9:54 AM
I've been interested in reading Nirad Chaudhuri's books for a while, if he's the guy I think he is, which I think he is.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 10:35 AM
The idea of an arranged marriage used to bewilder me when I was younger, but then I realized that as long as the couple had veto power, chances are your parents won't pick someone you completely abhor, and it saves you having to introduce your significant other to your parents.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 11:39 AM
In traditional society, veto power was the rare exception.
My angle on it is, "How could it be worse than the present system?" But I would say that.
A divorce lawyer suggested that instead of getting married, people should save themselves grief and just give half their property to the person in the world they hate most, right at the beginning. True, his dataset was skewed.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 11:49 AM