Speaking of Loving The Internet, Wuzzadem's latest, summarized by Roy as "Mom's a stupid whore and her kid becomes an Islamofascist because of it", surpasseth understanding.
The link in 11 is a lot less depressing than the link in the main post. He is upbraiding the copywriters for producing bad copy, and his criticisms are perfectly sensible. But this was the 60s, by the time you get to the 70s and the Paul Masson campaign, he has just given up.
You see, Champagne...is not Champagne...unless it comes from the province of Champagne. I learned that in bartending school.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:20 AM
Drunk Orson Welles said it, I believe it, and that settles it, buddy.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:27 AM
What is that noise he emits right before saying, "The French Champagne"?
Posted by rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:39 AM
There's some version of this with voice of Brain from Pinky & The fame. I can't remember where I saw it.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:39 AM
Here you go, #4. Took about two seconds to Google it up.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IH1PJTY9AVA
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:41 AM
Here's another one:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Za3EuqU385k
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:42 AM
Another one
http://youtube.com/watch?v=f3B3C5hR1lk
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:43 AM
(although none of those are about Champagne)
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 9:49 AM
It's "Paul Masson", btw.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 11:03 AM
And "Becks-style".
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 11:21 AM
#5 is riffing on the recording of Welles trying to read an ad for frozen peas, btw. God, I love the internet.
Posted by Paul | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 12:50 PM
Speaking of Loving The Internet, Wuzzadem's latest, summarized by Roy as "Mom's a stupid whore and her kid becomes an Islamofascist because of it", surpasseth understanding.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 12:59 PM
years ago I heard an audio-tape of Colonel Sanders, deeply senile or Alzheimered, trying to cut an ad for his Kentucky Fried Chicken.
It was very, very, funny.
In that way that lots of things about old people were, before I became one.
Posted by kid bitzer | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:02 PM
11: this is an awesome recording. "You have no idea what I'm up against...crumb crisp coating, wow that's tough."
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:04 PM
Welles isn't really failing to read the ad. He mostly seems to think it's really stupid.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:08 PM
We know a certain fjord in Norway...
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:09 PM
5: Gosh, thanks. Pinky just said "green penis" in front of the three male movers. You know, the same guys that packed my lingerie drawer.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:12 PM
the same guys that packed my lingerie drawer
And that's not a euphemism.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:20 PM
He said Green Pea-ness. You have a dirty mind.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:29 PM
"There's too much directing around here."
Hey, at least I remembered to get the sex toys put into the car before the guys showed up this morning.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:38 PM
But I assume they were already in the custom-made attache case where you keep them, so no packing was necessary.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:41 PM
No, they were in Mr. B's old helmet bag.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:42 PM
There's a dickhead joke to be made here, I just know it.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 1:48 PM
Oh god, I can't watch that Wells clip. Some things are too depressing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 8:23 PM
You have no sense of humor, mwah.
Posted by standpipe b | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 8:28 PM
The link in 11 is a lot less depressing than the link in the main post. He is upbraiding the copywriters for producing bad copy, and his criticisms are perfectly sensible. But this was the 60s, by the time you get to the 70s and the Paul Masson campaign, he has just given up.
Posted by rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09-12-06 8:53 PM
That Paul Masson clip reminds of Lionel Hutz courtroom speech praising bourbon as the brownest of the brown liquors.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-13-06 10:12 AM
Hmm, there should be a "me" after "reminds" and a "that" before "Lionel".
Damn bourbon.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-13-06 10:16 AM