FWIW, I have several friends that have been tall ship sailors and they all hate "Talk like a pirate day." They've had too many tourists come up to them saying "Arrrrrrrrrr" to find it amusing.
For myself, I think that anything that's good enough for Evil Stevie is good enough for me.
I haven't been since I was a teenager: I used to race Sunfish, badly, and crewed on a J-24, rather better. But I'm incredibly rusty these days.
A couple of years ago we rented a cabin by a lake in New Hampshire that had an old Sunfish that came with it, so I took Sally out sailing. The first day it went fine. The second day, we sank.
(Not all that badly -- we sailed back into shore with the deck only a couple of inches below water. But the boat was submerged. I shoulda checked the hull for holes.)
Dreds seem like an obvious choice. Shaved head, certainly. Maybe even just sort of a longish mop-type affair, in the style of Bob Dylan. But a braid? Practically a pigtail?? No way. Much less the fancy name for it.
This opinion is based on having seen at least five movies involving pirates. Airtight!
Um, braiding your hair which has grown long after many months at sea without access to such fripperies as a barber shop would be a most effective way of keeping it from blowing around in the wind.
"Captain, I hear you're an objectivist, and that's why you decided to make your own fortune at sea, rather than leach off of society. What does A equal?"
Brains with Mushroom Sauce [From To Serve Man by Karl Wurf]
Exercise toughten or enlarges almost every part of Man except the brains, so those of a thinker are quite sa tender as those of - well, whatever ethnic or occupational group one cares to insult. They are so tender - the brains, not the ethnic/ovccupational group - that they should be pre-cooked immediately they become available, as follows:
1 set brains (about 2.5 bls)
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vinegar
Rinse gently in cold water, place in a saucepan, cover with gently boiling water, add salt and vinegar, and simmer, covered, for 35 minutes.
1 set brains, pre-coooked as above
1 pint sherry
2 cups sliced mushrooms
2 cups cooked tomatoes
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup cooking oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp oregano
Cut the pre-cooked brains into 1 inch cubes. Place in bowl, pour in sherry and let stand 90 minutes. Saute mushrooms. Add tomatoes and seasonings, bring to a boil, transfer sherry from bowl to sauce, and bring to a boil again, Serve sauce hot, over the brains. For 6 to 9.
"Captain, what does the first mate say when he reaches orgasm?"
"OOOOOH--AAARR! That be trickery."
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 12:55 PM
"Captain, who's in front of you?"
UUUUUUU
"Captain, have some rum. Now who's in front of you?"
DoubleUUUUUU
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 12:56 PM
I've been struggling with 'W' for years now! Thanks.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 12:57 PM
Further letters are left as an exercise for the reader.
Why?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:00 PM
Ache? H?
"Captain, I don't underftand "'Ess.'" This is the eighteenth century. What does "'Ess.'" mean?
"Eff."
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:01 PM
5.1: Yes.
5.2: Helpless giggling.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:05 PM
FWIW, I have several friends that have been tall ship sailors and they all hate "Talk like a pirate day." They've had too many tourists come up to them saying "Arrrrrrrrrr" to find it amusing.
For myself, I think that anything that's good enough for Evil Stevie is good enough for me.
Posted by NickS | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:10 PM
LB, I wouldn't have guessed that you were into sailboat racing. I apologize for pulling nautical rank by proxy.
Posted by NickS | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:13 PM
Captain, can I trust that you're not just spitting random letters at me?
"Aye."
Posted by Wrongshore | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:14 PM
Captain, what's the first letter of the alphabet?
"A"
Etc.
Posted by SP | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:14 PM
Captain, how far are we from shore?
Ell.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:15 PM
That's pretty close, actually; they're probably in a bad situation if that's true.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:16 PM
I haven't been since I was a teenager: I used to race Sunfish, badly, and crewed on a J-24, rather better. But I'm incredibly rusty these days.
A couple of years ago we rented a cabin by a lake in New Hampshire that had an old Sunfish that came with it, so I took Sally out sailing. The first day it went fine. The second day, we sank.
(Not all that badly -- we sailed back into shore with the deck only a couple of inches below water. But the boat was submerged. I shoulda checked the hull for holes.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 1:16 PM
Queue??
Posted by L. | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:18 PM
I think L. meant to be a Spanish pirate:
¿Qué?
Posted by Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:22 PM
'Queue' is another word for braided ponytail, L.
'Arrrr, captain, what be that colorful bird thar?'
'Jayyyy'.'
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:28 PM
Don't lie to the minor, Cala.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:34 PM
"Pirate! What's another name for Professor's treasure?"
"I think it's 'Aaaaaaa'. 'Aaaaaa'" Wacka wacka.
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:35 PM
Hunh. Who knew? I assumed it was a typo for
queer. Really, what kind of pirate goes around with a 'braided plait hanging from the back of [his] head'?Posted by L. | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:44 PM
19: more sailors that pirates, probably. Supposedly where the little (us. white) kerchief thingies in sailor suits came from.
Posted by soubzriquet | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 3:53 PM
Dreds seem like an obvious choice. Shaved head, certainly. Maybe even just sort of a longish mop-type affair, in the style of Bob Dylan. But a braid? Practically a pigtail?? No way. Much less the fancy name for it.
This opinion is based on having seen at least five movies involving pirates. Airtight!
Posted by L. | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:03 PM
But all of those movies got their pirate archetype from the same, earlier movie.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:09 PM
Um, braiding your hair which has grown long after many months at sea without access to such fripperies as a barber shop would be a most effective way of keeping it from blowing around in the wind.
Also, sailors invented knitting.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:15 PM
Shouldn't "G" be really easy, since "Gee" is a word in English?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:16 PM
Pirates don't say "gee."
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:17 PM
Save it for Talk Like A Cowboy Day.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:22 PM
without access to such fripperies as a barber shop
Frippery schmippery. How 'bout those knives they're constantly carrying clenched in their teeth as they climb rope ladders?
Posted by L. | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:25 PM
19: A 19th Century Cantonese one.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:28 PM
Knives are for cutting rope and killing enemies, not for blunting with nonsense like caring about your hair.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:28 PM
and for carving dollies.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:29 PM
a pirate gets lonely.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:30 PM
"Also, sailors invented knitting."
Additionally, vikings invented the button.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:37 PM
"Pirates don't say 'gee.'"
Stop telling the pirates what to say. Have you no respect for language?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:39 PM
I'll start quoting myself and responding if that's what it takes to keep this thread going.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:39 PM
"I'll start quoting myself and responding if that's what it takes to keep this thread going."
loser.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:41 PM
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:43 PM
add salt.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:45 PM
Taste not, want not.
Posted by standpipe b | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:45 PM
Mmm, branes with salt.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:46 PM
Brains in a vat (of brine).
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:51 PM
Maybe if we ate each other's brains, we'd understand each other better.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:53 PM
mmm, alzabo
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:55 PM
...arrecaim comrad chind-cherchailli eturru.
Posted by standpipe b | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:55 PM
Interloping antelopes. Fickle fecal treacle trickle.
Posted by standpipe b | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 4:57 PM
I wonder if innate physical differences in brain structure account for why women's brains are so much tastier than men's.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:01 PM
43- Those people did have a cult of the severed head.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:03 PM
Avast! There be brainnabals 'pon this isle! To the ship, and put yer backs into it!
Posted by Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:05 PM
brainnabals
Like "lunchables".
Posted by standpipe b | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:06 PM
"Captain, I hear you're an objectivist, and that's why you decided to make your own fortune at sea, rather than leach off of society. What does A equal?"
"AAAAAAAAA"
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:09 PM
How do objectivists feel about cannibalism?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:19 PM
Objectivists don't feel, they reason.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:20 PM
Maybe if we ate each other's brains, we'd understand each other better.
On the upside, if we didn't understand each other, we'd not have to argue any more.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 5:54 PM
IKt's posisble that we understand each other perfectly.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:07 PM
But maybe we'd, like, take on each other's thoughts and characteristics. And get mono.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:27 PM
I'd love to give mono to the lot of you, but that's not the method I had in mind.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:32 PM
Or kuru.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:34 PM
Does the Fonz count as a pirate?
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:38 PM
A butt pirate, maybe.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:39 PM
I was wondering that.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 6:39 PM
24, 25: "Cap'n, what do you say instead of 'Holy fucking shit!' when there are kids around?"
"Gee."
Posted by Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 7:06 PM
Brains with Mushroom Sauce [From To Serve Man by Karl Wurf]
Exercise toughten or enlarges almost every part of Man except the brains, so those of a thinker are quite sa tender as those of - well, whatever ethnic or occupational group one cares to insult. They are so tender - the brains, not the ethnic/ovccupational group - that they should be pre-cooked immediately they become available, as follows:
1 set brains (about 2.5 bls)
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. vinegar
Rinse gently in cold water, place in a saucepan, cover with gently boiling water, add salt and vinegar, and simmer, covered, for 35 minutes.
1 set brains, pre-coooked as above
1 pint sherry
2 cups sliced mushrooms
2 cups cooked tomatoes
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup cooking oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp oregano
Cut the pre-cooked brains into 1 inch cubes. Place in bowl, pour in sherry and let stand 90 minutes. Saute mushrooms. Add tomatoes and seasonings, bring to a boil, transfer sherry from bowl to sauce, and bring to a boil again, Serve sauce hot, over the brains. For 6 to 9.
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 7:27 PM
That was "2.5 lbs."
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 7:30 PM
2.5 pounds of brain for up to nine people?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 7:43 PM
60: Arrr, d'ye ken a roll o' T.P.?
Posted by ahab | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 7:45 PM
brane cooks down quite a lot.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:14 PM
Add some al dente pasta and it sounds like you could have spaghetti 'n' brainballs.
Posted by ahab | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:23 PM
Always add sauce to pasta, never pasta to sauce.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:29 PM
I thought the rule was always add acid to water.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:40 PM
*slaps forehead*
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-06 8:42 PM
Cap'n, are you sure you're not too tired to keep answering my questions?
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09-20-06 10:48 PM