Re: But it'd be an awesome cage match

1

Dad, not grandpa. As in, "Shit my dad says."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 7:45 AM
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2

Hmm, this was linked in the comments a week or two ago, but the hoohole is on the march.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 7:58 AM
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3

I suspect most of those dadisms are made up. They seem a bit contrived to me.


Posted by: JH | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:08 AM
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4

3: I dunno, they ring true for me. Something about the randomness of the petty grievances seems real. The dad does seem to be particularly fixated on food, e.g. "Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me."


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:19 AM
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5

||

I'm listening to the woman in the classroom down the hall lecture. "Indians," she says, "are less likely to distinguish people and action, so it is difficult to criticize their performance."

Is this true? I suppose a link, or even an equation, of person and action is a part of the doctrine of karma.

This is bugging me to the point of distraction. I don't recognize the teachers voice. (There is an 85% chance she is an adjunct given our workforce.) She doesn't have an Indian accent.

|>


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:32 AM
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6

3, 4: They've got to be performance to some extent -- the dad's being funny.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:41 AM
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7

I think they're real. And I only think he's trying to amuse himself.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:53 AM
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8

My dad would totally say stuff like that. Hell, my dad says stuff like that all the time.

I think the Grandpa and your Grandma would have hot, sweaty sex. He would bitch about afterwards and she would say it was good enough.


Posted by: tonks | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 8:58 AM
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9

She would never outright say it wasn't good enough. She would just offer a lot of suggestions for ways to improve it. She's only trying to help.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:10 AM
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10

The shitty part is that I already sound like that.

max
['Uh oh.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:33 AM
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11

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I think everyone needs to be made aware of these.

Also, everyone should check out the Frazetta Challenge on the same site.

|>


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:38 AM
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12

And now I want pizza, although not actually from the place that contest made me think of.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:41 AM
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13

11: Awesome:

Pictures do not need to be work-safe, fully clothed, partially clothed, tasteful, appropriate, or attractive.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:50 AM
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14

The contest in 11 is why the gods gave us the internet.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 9:58 AM
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15

I tried to give apo the chance to post about this, but NOOOOO!

I should have gone to heebie instead. She'll post anybody.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:06 AM
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16

My Dad is like a cross between Emerson and mcmanus, with the voice of Billy Connolly. Thankfully he hasn't discovered Unfogged.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:09 AM
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17

What sort of shite are you talking now, son?


Posted by: nattarGcM dlO | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:26 AM
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18

If we had more threads about "Oor Wullie" I bet he would have stumbled across it.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:31 AM
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19

re: 17

Christ, it's uncanny. Maybe mention anarchism, and Darwin while you are at it.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:35 AM
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20

18: Heh. I purposely didn't mention Oor Wullie in the "All Things Scottish" thread because I hate him so.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:43 AM
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21

I tried to give apo the chance to post about this

I've more or less stopped blogging altogether.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:48 AM
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22

21: But dude. Business cards made out of meat!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:50 AM
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23

It's a good thing that third kid of yours is so darn cute, or else I might really start to resent her.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 10:56 AM
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24

Not just meat, jerky. I may need to make a Bichelmeyer's run later.


Posted by: tonks | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 11:00 AM
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25

I am rapidly turning into that guy, and I am perfectly happy about it. I've been more than halfway there since puberty. And this: "If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it" is so goddamn profound I'm thinking I might get it tattooed on my ass.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 1:47 PM
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26

The lastest from SMDS: "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 1:58 PM
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27

I have a bottle of Makers Mark. Some is for you, some is for me, but more is for me. Remember that. More. Me.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:01 PM
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28

I just love the "Remember that. More. Me." construction. I'm going to start saying that about everything.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:02 PM
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29

Real or not, it's pretty fucking hilarious so I'm enjoying it.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:14 PM
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30

Real or not, it's pretty fucking hilarious so I'm enjoying it.

Much like life.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:42 PM
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31

Unfortunately, essear, indications are that life is real.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:51 PM
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32

Eh, that's just a fleeting illusion.


Posted by: Opinionated Boltzmann Brain | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 2:53 PM
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33

32: You don't appear to hold your opinions very strongly, BB.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:01 PM
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34

OT: If someone ends a sentence in their online dating profile with "lol", and doesn't even position that initialism such that the sentence in question is grammatical when it is expanded (e.g., "I like cheese lol" vs. "This makes me lol"), should that be a dealbreaker? She seems quite appealing in most other respects, and has expressed interest in my profile via one of the oblique methods for doing so that this site offers.

OK, joking. Of course I'll message her.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:01 PM
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35

Maybe she means that she likes to eat cheese while she's laughing out loud?

Or maybe she just misspelled "log"?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:03 PM
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36

I've found that that use of "lol" is pretty common, especially among people my age and younger, and that it doesn't indicate anything in particular about the person otherwise.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:04 PM
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37

Or she likes it when her cheese laughs out loud?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:05 PM
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38

36 is right. On the other hand, if you find that she engages in LOLspeak pillow talk run as far and as fast as you can.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:06 PM
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39

25: I am rapidly turning into that guy, and I am perfectly happy about it.
29: Real or not, it's pretty fucking hilarious so I'm enjoying it.

Of course it's real - I've already said half that shit:

"What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man."
Except I would say 'gay guy'.
Now gimmie the remote we're not watching this bullshit."
Said it.
I thought it was going to be non-fiction, but it's fiction, and it's about some idiot.
SAID IT!
"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good.
There ya go.
"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."
Well, he is! He's a goddamned dog. Not goddamn Isaac Newton!

Fuck.

max
['Now I'm gonna get all paranoid.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:08 PM
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40

38 is right. Having a partner laugh out loud at you in bed is a real downer.

Um, or so people have told me anyway.

Mostly lurkers. In e-mail. lol.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:09 PM
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41

I don't know. I shudder when I see text-speak. I can't imagine corresponding frequently with someone who uses "u" for you. On the other hand, lol is completely innocuous.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:10 PM
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42

IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD!!!


Posted by: OPINIONATED FLOCK OF SEAGULLS | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:11 PM
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43

Having a partner laugh out loud at you

Key part of that phrase being at you. But don't worry, M/tch. I'm sure they were laughing with you.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:11 PM
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44

Hmm. She also is not interested in people who play games. And here I was hoping to find someone who would be interested in LARPing with me.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:12 PM
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45

DAMMIT, THAT SHOULD HAVE READ:

run as far and as fast as you can.
IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD!!!

Posted by: ENRAGED OPINIONATED FLOCK OF SEAGULLS | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:12 PM
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46

44: Damn. No cribbage for you.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:13 PM
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47

43: The laughing I don't mind so much. The pointing though? That's just annoying.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:13 PM
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48

44: How does she feel about long walks on the beach?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:14 PM
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49

Does she like Piña Coladas?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:16 PM
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50

49: I think you mean "Piña Loladas".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:17 PM
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51

And I probably meant "lolng walks on the beach".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:18 PM
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52

"At a bar called LOL'Malleys . . . "


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:20 PM
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53

Eh, she's cute, athletic, has a Ph.D. and seems to work in pharma. Beggars, choosers, and all that. Ironic detachment and sensitivity to cliche aren't everything, I suppose.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:23 PM
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54

Dude, email her. Quickly.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:24 PM
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55

54: Yeah. Maybe you'll fall in lolve.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:25 PM
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56

You've got to meet her by tomorrow noon!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:25 PM
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57

54 is right. Online communication is hard enough when you're not trying to get laid; don't write her off for getting the tone wrong.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:25 PM
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58

- ; + . +D


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:27 PM
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59

Quit lolygagging, Otto!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:27 PM
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60

Sheesh. Has the grand old tradition of the auto-cockblock (the motivation for which springs from a fear of one's own inadequacies) been completely forgotten?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:28 PM
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61

58: Hey watch it with the emoticons, NPH.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:28 PM
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62

60: Pfft. Go out and woo!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:29 PM
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63

60: We're trying to transition to the auto-cockblolck now.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:29 PM
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64

62: Hook 'em, too!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:30 PM
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65

LOL is a lipogram in 'e' even when expanded, so better hurry up or neb will end up with her. And think how that would make you feel.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:32 PM
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66

65: Plolwnd?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:33 PM
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67

OK, joking. Of course I'll message her.

I begin to see why I fail at using online dating sites.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:41 PM
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68

Yeah, you have to actually message people. Doesn't that suck?

(Message sent. We shall see.)


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:48 PM
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69

68: Best of lolck!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:50 PM
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70

Has the grand old tradition of the auto-cockblock (the motivation for which springs from a fear of one's own inadequacies) been completely forgotten?

Welcome to the kinder, gentler Unfogged.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 3:56 PM
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71

At least lols are a milder offense in the world of online profiles than the all-too-common affection for Atlas Shrugged.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:00 PM
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72

Welcome to the kinder, gentler self-deluded brave new Unfogged.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:00 PM
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73

Not sure how it ranks in comparison to excessive love for Milan Kundera or Paulo Coelho.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:03 PM
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71, 73: It's been so long since I combed through such profiles. I'm tempted to look for such trends, now, just to amuse myself. (I really am not enjoying grading this batch of papers.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:06 PM
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75

Maybe you should consider your students to be prospective dates?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:09 PM
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76

I think that's frowned upon.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:11 PM
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77

||

Why am I not, this minute, walking to a cafe where I could get a little bit of work done and almost-catch-up to the Infinite Jest page goal?

Because, at this minute, I am listening to "Mmmbop" by Hanson. And I'm liking it.

|>


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 09- 4-09 4:12 PM
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77: It's not a bad little pop song. The first time I heard it, I thought maybe it was a Jackson Five number of which I was somehow previously unaware.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 09- 5-09 10:51 AM
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