Re: No more masturbating to this being a new joke.

1

Man. That's some big hair there.

max
['Here's to hoping the little girl has a nicer life away from the cameras.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
2

Than her mother.

max
['Feh.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:17 AM
horizontal rule
3

She's got her Dad's teeth and gums, and may end up with his nose. The rest is an eerie resemblance, you're right. (To have that eyebrow arch naturally!) Hope her looks serve her well.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:30 AM
horizontal rule
4

Photos moved under the cut to preserve the illusion with your employer that you're not looking at dead porn stars at work.

For those of you who hadn't shattered that illusion long ago.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:51 AM
horizontal rule
5

She was never actually a "porn star", right?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:55 AM
horizontal rule
6

Ned, why don't you google it from your office to see.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:57 AM
horizontal rule
7

What are the necessary and sufficient criteria for porn stardom?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 8:57 AM
horizontal rule
8

To be a porn star one must have starred in porn.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:04 AM
horizontal rule
9

Photos moved

Thanks. The elegant and understated visuals of the site do help aid my campaign to destroy my productivity.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:11 AM
horizontal rule
10

To be a porn star one must have starred in porn.

Depends on your definition of porn. Softcore porn that ran on the Playboy Channel, mostly.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
11

7: If you want to claim the title even though you only had a small part, go ahead. It isn't like there is a guild that will call you on it if they think you are exaggerating.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:19 AM
horizontal rule
12

Does webcam work count? Because I, um-- never mind.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
13

Hope her looks serve her well.

"Farewell Gandalf! Did I not say to you: if you pass the doors of Moria, beware? Alas that I spoke true! What hope have we without you? ... We must do without hope."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:48 AM
horizontal rule
14

Huh. I hadn't even considered softcore porn. Shows where my mind is at.

So I would amend my definition to include hardcore porn only. It has to involve some type of doin' it.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
15

Hmm. She resembles her mom most because of the make up, I think. I'm kind of disturbed to see lipstick on a three year old.

(If I'm wrong and that's just her natural lip color, do correct me.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:08 AM
horizontal rule
16

You know, it hadn't occurred to me that it was make-up on the daughter, but of course it must be. That was a lot of the resemblance - the long eyelashes and bright lips. I naively assumed Anna Nicole came by it naturally, under her make-up.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:19 AM
horizontal rule
17

If it was for a TV appearance, I sort of understand it, it's just strange. Last time I saw lipstick on an under-5 year old it had been self-applied.

And I do think Anna Nicole was a lovely woman under the make up - there are shots of her when she was quite young, pre-Texas oil man, and she's wholesomely gorgeous.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:23 AM
horizontal rule
18

Hope her looks serve her well.

So, uh, what does this sentence mean exactly?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
19

17: She was very attractive under all the petroleum by-products. Sad that she felt the need for them, but it landed her a big money gig under wossname, so it's not all bad.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
20

13: I was just re-reading that last night.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:30 AM
horizontal rule
21

but of course it must be

Could be, but I think not. Lots of toddlers have red lips and fabulous lashes. You'll see, H-G!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 11:36 AM
horizontal rule
22

i think very correct caucasian facial features look all very similar, there is some gene responsible for that maybe, always have trouble to recognize between female young blondes, they look all alike identical siblings/dolls
if they look a little different/deviated from the canonical face, then they become a bit more easily recognizable and kinda interesting
it's b/c i prefer irregular features maybe


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 12:09 PM
horizontal rule
23

21: I am having such a hard time reading tone today. Because, you know, lots of toddlers do have fabulous lashes! Especially the boy ones.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 12:12 PM
horizontal rule
24

Hope her looks serve her well.

So, uh, what does this sentence mean exactly?

I presume it means that looking like a famously fucked-up sex symbol/pathetic addict who is your mother could - could - serve one ill. But Megan is hoping that, instead, she finds happiness and success that are the natural due of the attractive.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 12:36 PM
horizontal rule
25

A certain look I apparently have, in which I unwittingly convey my contempt for the person I'm looking at, has not served me well. So I hope she doesn't do that.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 12:43 PM
horizontal rule
26

she finds happiness and success that are the natural due of the attractive.
Russians believed on the contrary in their folklore iirc, there are sayings like ne rodis' krasivoi a rodis' schatlivoi means wish be born not beautiful but happy etc
i forgot other sayings, but it's like that, pretty common notion that beauty attracts more jealousy and misfortune than happiness


Posted by: read | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:01 PM
horizontal rule
27

it's like that, pretty common notion that beauty attracts more jealousy and misfortune than happiness

That sounds like something a pretty person would say to keep me from wanting plastic surgery.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
28

Because with a different face, some electrolysis, a bit of time at the gym, and a haircut that cost more than $15, I could be beautiful.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
29

O, WOE! THAT I WAS BORN TO BEAUTY!


Posted by: OPINIONATED SUPER MODEL | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:18 PM
horizontal rule
30

Plus, if open-toed shoes for men ever happen, a complete re-working of my feet.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
31

30: You don't got your flippy-floppies?

Loser.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:27 PM
horizontal rule
32

Those only work if you have a big toe.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 1:29 PM
horizontal rule
33

Are you No Toeby Hick?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:07 PM
horizontal rule
34

No. Just hiding my toe-nail fungus behind a shield of lies and socks.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:09 PM
horizontal rule
35

Dude, Moby, didn't you hear? Onychomycosis is the new in thing this Fall.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:12 PM
horizontal rule
36

it's like that, pretty common notion that beauty attracts more jealousy and misfortune than happiness

I can attest to this.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:13 PM
horizontal rule
37

36: Is the strike-out text in text's comment a subtle refutation of the text in text's comment? Or just a tag issue?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:21 PM
horizontal rule
38

What JRoth said.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:40 PM
horizontal rule
39

Ah. Makes sense. Thanks for clarifying.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
40

I don't think she's wearing makeup (the child, I mean). My blonde niece and nephew both had bright red (well, as bright as this child's) lips and long dark eyelashes, along with scary transparent blue eyes, resembling those of a husky. They looked like science fiction children. They look a lot more normal nowadays--not quite so vivid.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 3:21 PM
horizontal rule
41

"They look a lot more normal nowadays--not quite so vivid."

I hope you put it less plainly if you write the family Christmas letter.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 3:22 PM
horizontal rule
42

40: I am willing to be wrong on the make-up. It looks like lipstick to me and I think I assumed that there was a fairly high possibility of it, given that it's ET and, well, Anna-Nicole's daughter; but, I've witnessed what you describe as well.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 3:26 PM
horizontal rule
43

That guy is ET? He must be wearing a LOT of makeup.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 3:42 PM
horizontal rule
44

I think Anna Nicole had bigger boobs.


Posted by: Forza | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 3:46 PM
horizontal rule
45

37: I'm never telling


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 4:16 PM
horizontal rule
46

I hope you put it less plainly if you write the family Christmas letter.

If I wrote the family Christmas letter it would probably come out resembling nothing so much as a suicide note with sprigs of holly in the corners.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 4:33 PM
horizontal rule
47

Hello friends and family,

As the holiday season comes around again and the cold dark hours press upon us once more, I write to you from my empty house. I didn't decorate this year, knowing that neither ugly plastic commemorations of the cheapest rockwellism nor authentic representations of pastoral traditions that are lost to history would cheer me.

All that aside, it was a rocky year for our tiny, lonely household (if one could call me and my cat a household)...


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 4:49 PM
horizontal rule
48

...My sister (or brother) came for a visit this fall. I saw how my niece and nephew have grown. They look a lot more normal nowadays--not quite so vivid. They don't smell like wet dog as often either. I'll never understand why they don't come more often.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:13 PM
horizontal rule
49

I hope you all have a wonderful year, and don't spend too much time thinking about the utter pointlessness of our brief existence and the certainty that ultimately we die alone, often in pain and terror.
Cheers,
mcmc


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:13 PM
horizontal rule
50

47: You don't mind if I steal that , do you? At least the 1st paragraph.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:20 PM
horizontal rule
51

The 1st paragraph of 47 clearly was lifted from a Hallmark card.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:23 PM
horizontal rule
52

I would close with 49.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:23 PM
horizontal rule
53

"Hello friends and family,"?

It is all yours.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:28 PM
horizontal rule
54

As the holiday season comes around again and the cold dark hours press upon us once more, I write to you from my empty house.

At night, the ice weasels come.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-10-09 5:51 PM
horizontal rule