blam!™ lamp and blam!™ lightbulbs not included.
Now if you could combine it with one of those anti-SAD sunlight lamps,you'dd be all set.
Yeah puns aren't cool. It's like in high school? When the popular kids are on the football team or cheerleaders? And maybe the slightly less popular kids are into student government or just studying all the time? And then you have all those other activities that are even lower on the totem pole? Well, what was on the very bottom? Yeah, that's right.
Puns are band.
Or you could just sleep in until actual sunrise.
I should know fairly soon whether actual blam! obtains.
You're going to report back?
The last couple of mornings have been so grey and dismal at 8 a.m. that I've found it confusing to learn that it's 8 a.m. Oh shit. It's the lack of birdsong, in part, not just a seeming failure of the sun to rise.
Let us know, if you would, Standpipe.
Now if you could combine it with one of those anti-SAD sunlight lamps,you'dd be all set.
No no, the dawnulator obviates the sunlight lamps. You get the same effect as sticking your head in a 10,000 Watt lightbox for who knows how long, except only 60 Watts, and while you sleep.
7: I was on the Speech team. We were waaaaay cooler than the kids on Debate.
I should get to work on a birdsong simulator. No other special equipment required! You just plug an ordinary songbird into it, set the timer, and go.
12 should not be construed as me missing the joke(s) in 7—which were very clever, BTW. I'm just chiming in with irrelevant personal detail, like usual.
I just got one of these 2012 lamps, movie tie in. I guess they're supposed to to simulate the apocalypse but so far it ha
10 seems like it violates some law of thermodynamics.
10 seems like it violates some law of thermodynamics.
And for only $25.
13: Just edit out the one squawker who normally likes to sit on the branch one foot outside the bedroom window, hence roughly 2 feet from my head. He doesn't really seem to get the idea.
So this is an example of what you don't want?
TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET
Lincoln Douglas gonna kick your ass Otto.
TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET TWEET
This is not the Twitter thread.
This is the baseball thread.
19: I can't believe you don't know what I don't want.
Way to run up the pitch count, guys! Some runs would be nice too, when you're feeling up to it.
I can't believe you don't know what I don't want.
That's what she said.
I read once about something similar to this, that just varied the color - reddish around dawn and dusk, yellow/white in broad daylight - but haven't been able to find it again.
The sunrise lamps are excellent. Chez nous we prefer the ones that also dim out in 15 or so minutes in the evening -- it's about the only way we stop reading and go to sleep, even though we're tired.
I like living somewhere that gets plenty of sunshine.
I should get to work on a birdsong simulator. No other special equipment required! You just plug an ordinary songbird into it, set the timer, and go.
In what respect is it a birdsong simulator, then?
I can't believe you don't know what I don't want.
That's what she said.
To which Teo replied, "who do you think you're dealing with here?"
nobody has ever heard real birdsong, neb.
Jesus Christ, I go off for awhile and come back and you guys are stimulating birds! Sheesh! Did you even ask if they liked it? NOPE! Bzzztt bzzztt the poor little birdies!
Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned jokes about gay men choking on giant cocks that we used to hear back in the Baptist Sunday School??? Huh? Huh? Degenerates!
max
['This country is going to the birds, I tell you.']
This is supposed to be the baseball thread. Go Rollins! Go Phillies! Go Witt!
When I was back there in the Baptist Sunday School, there was a person there who said you could stimulate a bird with prayer. Stimulate a bird with prayer. Stimulate a bird with prayer! YOU CANNOT STIMULATE A BIRD WITH PRAYER!!
I am irresistibly compelled by the post title to link to this iconic post.
I am irresistibly compelled by the post title to link to this iconic post.
Thanks for making that explicit, Witt.
Thanks for making that explicit, Witt.
It's your blog now, SB. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.
When I lose patent protection on myself, I will "invent" my left-handed enantiomer and issue it under a different brand name. Levostandplate. Ask your doctor.
t's your blog now, SB. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.
The truth, it burns!
This Cliff Lee guy is pretty good.
The name Ibáñez always makes me think of Ibansk (re: the wiki, "Fuckburg" would be a better translation than "Screw Town").
That would make the citizens Fuckburgers, then.
Appropriately enough, it would.
Jumping ahead in the post title associations, I thought of this.
Hello, Citizen Fuckberger! Many welcomes!
This game is playing havoc with my menu planning. I should have known I wouldn't be able to concentrate.
A duck goes into Radio Shack and asks for a capacitor.
"Charge it?" asks the clerk.
"Nah, put it on my bill." says the duck.
I just got one of these 2012 lamps, movie tie in.
I want one of those 2010 lamps that makes like the new sun I think I'll be friends with.
Woooo hook 'em Phillies wooooo!
Wow, that was huge. The dreaded Sabathia vanquished!
10, just like blowing out candles with a very low volume and velocity puff over a long period of time works the same way as one big fast puff.
Velocitator? I don't even own a deceleratrix!
My mom must be happy. I should call her.
Current Philly.com headline: "Phillies Chase Yankees Over Cliff"
The Daily News is typically the punny paper; I wonder what they'll come up with tomorrow.
10, just like blowing out candles with a very low volume and velocity puff over a long period of time works the same way as one big fast puff.
That's a horrible analogy. You should be ashamed of yourself.
64: What, some analogies are worse than others? What happened to the oral absolutism that made this blog so refreshing?
Every analogy is located along the curve of banning energy.
I called my mom. She was indeed very happy.
What I want is windows that go black on summer mornings. My landlord refuses to install curtain rails after the last tenant allegedly tore them off the wall. So I inevitably get woken by 6am for three months every year. Given that I rarely get to sleep before 2am, this becomes a problem.
re: 71
WTF?! "Dear Landlord, fuck the fuck fucking off", no?
My own landlord isn't exactly brilliant, but sod that. FWIW, have you considered using those expanding rails that fit inside the frame? Don't require any drilling or fitting?
hm.
i studied one summer in england, and i never was hung over or missed class (it is very sunny at absurdly early times there since its almost in teh arctic pole). and normally i miss like 35% of classes. maybe i should get one of these. i really like:
(Amimated simulation of what it does, compressed and repeated.
The actual sequence is totally smooth, only happens once a day, and takes 30 minutes.)
#72 Scots word order is truly admirable. Works so much better the "fuck the fucking fuck off".
I have the full-on dawn lamp kind (an older version of this thing)that puts out 10K lumens, not just the kind into which you plug a standard lamp. I don't use it every day, but on the days I do it's rare that it gets over about 40% before I'm awake enough (and angry enough, for that matter) to get out of bed. The ad copy for the model I have made a big deal about how it had 72 LEDs, but I guess that's old hat now.
My sleep specialist's jaw dropped when I told him what I'd spent, too. "How'd you find that?" "Uhhh, Google?" "Everything we recommend costs a lot more than that. Where'd you buy it?" "Amazon." "Huh." [assistant bookmarks page on the computer in the examination room].
I have a dawn simulator. Mine costs a lot more, because it has a clock radio in it too and a snooze button, but I like it a lot it's from Apollo Health, but it was discounted at Costco. The True Sun one I had broke.
The dusk part makes it easier to fall asleep at night.
All joking aside, it isn't until about late may or June that I stop using mine for the season.
This guy has a good review of a bunch of options with various prices, including a link to a DIY option.
64, whatevs, I'm as shameless as Bill Kris/tol on meth. Actually, I would love to see Kri/stol methed out in the gutter. He gives me the creeps even more than Che/ney does.
There appears to be a combo dawn simulator/light box, but it doesn't get good reviews.
The thing taht always gets me is that for liability issues they usually want you to be under the care of a doctor when using light therapy, but neither my psychiatrist nor my sleep doctor/neurologist showed any interest in monitoring my use of it. The sleep doctor just said how important she thought it was to get outside in natural light in the morning. Our 6 month appointments haven't occurred in the dead of winter yet.
75: It makes you angry? I was thinking of getting one, but I'm angry enough, I think.
Rage, rage against the coming of the light.
80: Angry because I have never been a morning person and the light is a bright reminder of the time of day I like least. It makes me less angry than a beeping alarm, though, and is generally more successful at waking me up without a rebound back to bed.
Once I'm on my feet it still takes a good hour of puttering before I'm even a half-functioning human being. The lamp shortens the amount of time it takes me to get on my feet in the first place, but it doesn't cut down on that stumbly hour at all.
