I see Maximus on the list for boys. So, in a dozen years, junior high kids will have another option for penis jokes.
Oh, this is a cool idea.
Without reading the article:
Off the top of my head:
Old-timey-sounding girls' names that may well be on the list
Annabel
Amelia
Aurelia
Millicent
Rosalie (A TWILIGHT CHARACTER)
Esme (ALSO A TWILIGHT CHARACTER)
Beatrix
2: Ned is rooting for Edward and Bella.
2: Not bad at all! And depressingly, I love those names and am not such a rogue maverick as I'd like to believe.
At least in the Old Folks Home, I'll be taken care of by people with adorable names.
I'm waiting for "C. Alice" as a girls name given to somebody whose conception required a chemical boost.
One of these days "Athelstan" and "Ethelred" are going to make big comebacks, along with "Bathsheba."
6: I give "Egbert", "Oswald", and "Berengaria" a better chance.
Hmm. My daughter's middle name is Harper.
Although our front-runner for boy names is derivative of one of them
Rivers? Weezer nerd.
That's Maximus Weezernerd to you, buddy.
6: One of these days "Athelstan" and "Ethelred" are going to make big comebacks
Amen. I tried to get an Athelstan boomlet going, but B just looked at me (!not literally) and when I explained it she just told me she wasn't a medievalist.
Damn specialists.
max
['And you left out Oswy and Oswulf and...']
Had XC been a girl his name would've been Lila. We thought we were terribly clever. Apparently not so much.
"Winston" must be due for a revival. AFAICT all living Winstons are middle-aged Chinese men in Hawaii.
I can see that I'll have to make some other changes, along with the surgery and new wardrobe, to keep that illusion of youth.
14: I know a pre-school aged Winston who is neither Chinese or in Hawaii. But maybe Winston is his middle name.
Renegade lawman Winston Justice: not Chinese.
A boom in Cecilias and Celias would please me.
I can't remember what romanish name I tried to get my sister to use, but it was a good one.
Based on their methodology, I'd make a dark horse bet on Cecilia
You're breaking my heart / You're shaking my confidence [intervals] daily.
14: OMG, every Winston I know is Chinese, too. Why are Winstons Chinese? (Mine are 2 30-somethings in NY.)
all living Winstons are middle-aged Chinese men
All Eugenes are Asian-Am, probably Chinese-Am.
Most people I've known with the last name Zhang have been Chinese also.
Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should. Laydeez.
I think I hear you all loud and clear.
re: 23
The only Eugene I know is very much not Chinese.
The Winston in Broken Flowers isn't Chinese.
Basically, I would pull for any offbeat character name featured in a Wes Anderson movie. Thus: Margot, Chas, Etheline, Raleigh, Kingsley, Eleanor, Herman, Magnus, Dirk, Dignan, Future Man.
re: 31
It'd have to be a pretty elaborate deception.
...which would be so typically Chinese of Eugene.
32: I was always suprised that Eleanor didn't get a bigger Lord of the Rings boost as it (and her parents) are pretty much the only "standard" names in that book.
Future Man's chances are somewhat damaged by the fact that there's a real-life Future Man and he plays with Béla Fleck.
37: It's the name Sam gives to his daughter at the very end. Maybe the left it out of the movie.
37: It's a famous sci-fi trilogy that came out a few years ago, based on a famous series of books by J.R.R. Tolkien.
40: The movies, along with the Harry Potter films, were produced as part of an effort to boost the employment of elderly British actors in action movies.
And so that Sean Astin would be referred to as "Sam" instead of "Rudy".
38: Future Man was played by the elusive *other* Wilson brother.
It will be weird if Hermione begins to make the scene since, while charming, bookish, and adorable in HP, she is one of the nastiest pieces of work there is in Greek tragedy. Well, ok, that is a lot of competition, but she is pretty bad.
I still think there's a chance that Marpessa becomes a trendy name. She was the only mortal to ever reject the advances of a god and survive!!
39: Thanks. I've read the books, but I forgot about that bit.
40: So that's what it is!
So if "Maximus" is on the list, can "Optimus" be far behind?
38: I am well aware of that, oudemia. But the guy who plays with Mr Fleck is not related to the Wilsons.
47: I tried to get a friend to name his upcoming child Septimus/a but no luck.
Would that child have been the seventh or born in the seventh month?
Oops. "Because Teo isn't here". And because I'm apparently an ass.
50: I told him to tell his relations that he was counting backwards.
Sam Gamgee's daughter is actually named Elanor, so it's not quite a normal name.
You know what's a normal name? Sam.
The comic in 51 is characteristically shitty.
At least Septimus Prime would make sense.
The comic in 51 is characteristically shitty.
Shitty, but topical. Isn't that the tradition?
(Also, Sam's full name is "Samwise.")
This makes me want more babies so that I can name them. I probably should get some pets.
This makes me want more babies
Drop me an email.
Scout?!?
Please, parents, don't.
I went to college with a guy named Rancher.
I went to college with a guy named Scott.
I knew a couple who named their baby Samwise. He's probably 8 or 9 now.
I knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Was he jolly?
Not that I recall.
I went to college with a guy named Scott.
With my oldest kid (born '97), I gave him Scott as a normal middle name, in case he didn't like the name Keegan when he got older. Last year, Scott was #322 for boys' names. Keegan was #222.
66: I have friends with a daughter named Arwen.
You know what would be a nice girl's name? "Cola".
69: In the 70s we had a dog named Elrond.
What sucks is having a great name for your pet and then it becomes a popular person name. Especially if you're socially awkward and have to continually choke back, "Hey, my cat's name is Lily/dog's name is Isabel/whatever."
I've never met a Toby that I didn't like, person or animal. Good names are good names, perhaps.
You know what would be a nice girl's name? "Cola" "Sarsaparilla".
I had a dog named "Jolly". And I went to college with a guy who was a rancher, though he had a different name.
I have a friend who probably would have named his daughter Padme or Leia, except that he married somebody who wasn't stupid.
Ah... the name is Bootsy, baby. And all of my children should thank their mothers and my occasional bouts of sobriety that it isn't theirs.
All girls' names should be modifiable to include a conventional feminine ending, if only for the sake of their future foreign language instruction. Amber, for example, sucks. So do Harper and Scout, which are literary but also sound like occupations you can select in a fantasy RPG.
Drop me an email.
It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
I think your internet provider is ripping you off, Di.
66: What was his other leg's name?
I was nicknamed Happy for a brief period.
that is, there was another chap, and the other chap said, "what's his other leg's name?"
85: The category is "Years in Bryan Adams Songs, minus 2".
it took me a while to realize 51 wasn't about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNoS2BU6bbQ&feature=PlayList&p=186C1151D9444473&index=0 skit
i like wolfgang.
76: "Padma" and "Lia" are perfectly nice names.
I've never met a Toby that I didn't like, person or animal. Good names are good names, perhaps.
You don't know the half of it, sister.
I've never met a Toby that I didn't like, person or animal. Good names are good names, perhaps.
I have. A right bastard to work for.
The only Star Wars name worth having is Lando.
90: Yes. I'm still mad about what Star War I-III did to my childhood memories.
91: Yay.
The OP link's comments are really intense. I like all the comments from people desperate to come up with the most normal names possible so that no one ever misspells or mispronounces their child's name, and that they recall every instance of being asked to spell the name with horror.
For other Tristram Shandy relevance, the chapter on names is great.
Blackwell, who is also known as Julian -- in order to sound like a bastard rather than a friendly fellow
I'm a little bothered by the fact that my cat's name is one of the runner ups, but I didn't name her so I guess I don't have to feel too terribly trendy. That said, if you're in the market for girl names, Ellie is a good choice. So many nicknames! (Of course, one of the most obvious - Smelly Ellie - is perhaps not what you want for a young girl. But it's appropriate, for both cats and small children.)
I wonder if Elspeth Smellie was nicknamed "Smelly Ellie".
Especially if you're socially awkward and have to continually choke back, "Hey, my cat's name is Lily/dog's name is Isabel/whatever."
I love it when I find out I do something that isn't socially acceptable and had absolutely no clue. Seriously, we can't mention that our beloved animals share a name with someone?
I'm still mad about what Star War I-III did to my childhood memories.
You and Patton Oswalt.
When I was a child, I thought children with mockable names had been set up by their parents for failure. But I soon came to realize that there are no mockable names, just mockable children.
102: Mr. Haywood Jablome begs to differ.
Haywood might get the occasional "yes" answer.
101: Yes, but I did it more briefly and with a spelling error.
Note to self: do not hook up with Katie.
104: But he'll never get on a call-in radio show or be able to get pizza delivered.
106: Or issue a life insurance policy to her brother.
106 is why sibling solidarity is so absolutely crucial.
106: oh man. That's pretty much fabulous.
12, 19: We've noticed an uptick since we named our younger daughter Cecelia (and thus became sensitized). And the damn song will be 45 years old by the time kids are to the teasing stage. It's like my dad trying to tease a childhood friend of mine by singing "Rocking Robin" to her.
And Audrey is definitely climbing the ranks quickly.
I like how considered and measured Katie was with her favors. She makes lists in advance.
100: It's not socially acceptable to the people with pet names. It's especially annoying to people with very common dog names, like "Toby." Bystanders don't seem to care.
106: What are the odds Brian got a haircut?
113: For several years there every male baby and every male puppy was named Max.
in order to sound like a bastard rather than a friendly fellow
Nah, he was named Julian and then adopted Toby as a typically cunning, evil plot to make people think he might be OK.
106: That is just about the worst sibling rivalry burn I've ever heard of. Outside of Greek tragedy. Inside of a Greek tragedy, it's too loud to hear much.
You know what an awesome name is? Vsevolod. "Ruler of all" or "conqueror of all". And you've got Meyerhold and Pudovkin to legitimize it for the artsy types.
Lyudmilla (as in Pavlichenko) would be a good name for Vsevolod's sister.
118: Many years ago I caused the hippie owner of an Evanston, IL bookstore to explode with rage by asking for some Blackwell title or other. After simmering down a bit, he explained that he only cared about "that awful, terrible, lying" company because the books they published were good.
121. He knew his onions, and his publishers. I was working in the bookselling arm, and they hated me because I was involved in trying to organise the place.
Also, more people should name their sons "Svyatoslav".
Also, what is it with baby name sites and annoying pop-up ads?
123: they hated me because I was involved in trying to organise the place
He was opposed to the Dewey Decimal System?
127: I don't think it concerns you, Bave.
Bave, you innocent. If Katie gives up her v-card, it has to be for someone special.
I'm dying to link to a video made at my former employer, a college where a bunch of 20-year-old girls made a video about saving your virginity. They don't give any particular reasons, other than that some guys are not actually very interesting, and when the girl says no, she gets a sparkly wig.
Russian vodka! Now with extra blood libel!
Oh, it's like a dance card with just one, um, slot?
Why does Katie have two guys on her v-card list?
132.2: Options. You need options.
First come, first serve, I guess. She gave herself until April 2010 to accomplish her goals.
Also, more people should name their sons "Svyatoslav".
I knew somebody (Irish) who called their car "Svatopluk", if that's any help. I don't understand how it's possible to get worked up about weird names once Bob Geldof and Paula Yates had done their worst. Heavy Hyundai Trigger Happy, indeed.
126. No, he was all for Dewy. He just hated AACR with an unreasonable loathing.
135.2: Well, you do need to watch the American Association for Cancer Research. I think they mean research to cure cancer, but the name doesn't make that clear.
It's like my dad trying to tease a childhood friend of mine by singing "Rocking Robin" to her.
Hey, that managed to drive me crazy in the first grade, and I think I'm younger than Chopper. Maybe I was just extra sensitive.
It's not socially acceptable to the people with pet names. It's especially annoying to people with very common dog names, like "Toby."
Makes sense. My pets never had very "pet" names, so I'm thinking I haven't managed to inadvertently insult anyone over the years. I did have a co-worker named Toby and a turtle named Toby, but both Toby's got along marvelously.
I have a couple of Ladislavs among my in-laws. Calling one of our kids a name like Svatoslav wouldn't raise an eyebrow.
I've outgrown my desire to name cats Finn MacCool, Hermes Trismegistus, or Palinurus.
I've outgrown my desire to have a pug named Boswell whom I would introduce as my biographer, but only because I can't imagine owning a pug.
Yep, I loved that taunt too. I don't think she's going to get much leverage from the parents. If I were her, though, I'd be thinking pretty hard about ways to make him pay.
142: You could practice by imagining you own a goldfish and slowly build-up to small mammals and then dogs.
106 makes me want to re-read Les Liaisons dangereuses.
I shared a house with a pug. Great little guy, but man is that one poorly designed dog. I think he's at least half blind now from running into the world eyeball first.
144: Ha! It's a dog-type thing. I was raised to love big dogs with long noses. Pugs are sweet, but kind of gross.
Yeah, you don't want to give out your vCard to just anybody. Identity theft concerns, you know.
It's a great book, completely epistolary.
Svejk begins the book as a forger of dog pedigrees.
143: My imagination fails. Pig's blood at prom? Still not as bad.
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How I know I've really let things get away from me: if a genie appeared in my office and offered me three wishes, I would seriously consider using up one of them on getting all of my filing done.
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All these years of being convinced by myself and others that girls don't really draw up lists like that...illusions shattered! Some people are horrible.
153: How about seriously undercooked pork, a broken toilet and a web cam?
possibly during the toast from his sister
girls don't really draw up lists like that
I not-quite-accidentally discovered such a list once, though it was skewed toward already accomplished rather than the prospective sex acts. The most revelatory aspect of the list was two names entered on the same line, with the annotation "3-some! Delightful!"
153. Somebody shouting "Yes!" at when the officiant asks if anybody knows any reason not to marry the couple would do. But I suppose some American denominations are so slipshod they don't even ask it.
I find the realization that such lists exist delightful.
crap - good luck LB. The good thing about filings is that, um, notices of errata are easy to do. And then you can drink!
151, 159: Filing with the court, or just getting the mountains of paper into appropriate folders for storage and easy retrieval at a later date?
Who has three thumbs and is headed out the door until 2010? This guy.
Wait, how common are these lists? Presidential masks as needed.
I find the realization that such lists exist delightful.
It's like a challenge. If I were to create such a list, what would I put on it?
My mother always encouraged me to make lists. Write down all the things about each boy that you like and dislike, etc. I thought that was stupid.
162: I've never seen or heard of one before. Discussions about such things? Yes.
163: Just start ranking Unfogged commenters.
I cannot imagine a world in which I composed such a list. I could never be so organized.
164: But you've got your infamous limerick collection.
I cannot imagine a world in which I composed such a list.
Not enough paper.
159, 160: The latter -- the problem is getting my office in order, not missing deadlines. (Although the filing problem is bad enough that there could, not implausibly, be forgotten deadlines lurking under piles of paper, ready to snap at me when revealed.)
Part of the problem is that the state took away our wastepaper baskets a month or two ago, under the theory that we'd generate less waste if we didn't have any place to put it. (You think I'm kidding, probably. But no.)
The limericks are about people I've slept with, not about those I intend to sleep with. Also, I haven't updated them since like 2007.
Not enough paper.
But plenty of pixels, and 800 comments left to go before this thread breaks the blog.
I did note down my lovers one time when I realized I couldn't remember how many there had been.
Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to take back my sympathies.
They're pretty good. I should add to it. I thing maybe one makes lists because one hates to forget.
But I have never made an intentions list of people to sleep with (and to what degree). Perhaps I'd have more success if I did more focused visualizing.
Also, I haven't updated them since like 2007.
I sent that thread to the girl. She was entertained.
I thing maybe one makes lists because one hates to forget.
Magazines publish "listicles" because readers' attention is so fleeting, so you may be right.
Didn't Tracey Emin do a "people I've slept with" project that involved names on a tent?
Okay, reading a brief that just cited to a case with "Haywood" in the caption. I swear, I feel compelled to find a Jablome case just so I can cite both and snicker like a child.
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Is anyone else watching CSPAN 2? There was some kind of mic live during the cloture vote (still ongoing) that captured, "Yeah. Yeah. I miss you too. You'll have to come to Kansas. Yeah, you can be the cantor. The Chanukkah cantor."
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I have long been interested in the idea of a marginal lover, someone either
a) almost Xd (obvs not interesting for the delusional, which includes my younger self)
or
b) Xd indifferently.
88 lines for 44 women, I guess.
Is anyone else watching CSPAN 2?
The question insults even as it wounds.
184.last: My real name is in that song, but not in any especially great way. Boo.
183: The Senate roll calls are so much more entertaining than the House's.
The Senate roll calls are so much more entertaining than the House's.
Do the Senators shout smart arsed ripostes when their names are called or do they just wear silly hats during roll calls?
Yeah, but thing I don't like about the Senate votes is that there's no live counter that says how many have voted Aye and Nay. It would be much more gripping if you could watch for a counter to get to sixty. They could then have the text flash or something.
Harkin's up talking about senators' travel plans. Vitter says no, we can't move up the votes to 6 pm. What about midnight then? Nah, can't do that either.
A few years ago, one of my tasks was to listen very closely to Senate roll calls and note the names of the people voting either for or against. It was impossible to get them all when they read the names in quick succession, but for various reasons we didn't want to wait until the whole list was put online an hour or so later, so we focused on just not being wrong about the names we did hear.
Coburn's now talking about his 41st wedding anniversary. 3 minutes, point of personal privilege. Congress rules.
"She has completed every part of my life."
"She has completed every part of my life."
You what? To my understanding this means that she has comprehensively killed him. Is he a zombie?
The Constitution does not impose any tests that would exclude the undead.
Coburn's now talking about his 41st wedding anniversary.
Democracy doesn't work.
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Aieee! No more masturbating to the . . . life-partnership of Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. If those two kids couldn't make it . . .
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Shorter John Thune: If this bill were structured differently, it wouldn't reduce the deficit.
197: I feel pathetic for finding this news quite sad.
197: I thought a "life-partnership" could be dissolved only by the death of one partner or the other. In single* combat.
* I'm sorry. It's Christmas. Puns are my family's way of camouflaging bad memories.
No more masturbating to the . . . life-partnership of Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.
Never mind. You can watch a video of a woman inducing a duck to masturbate in a twisty glass jar instead. Take your mind off it, like.
Ah, well. Io Sol Invictus, everybody! I'm off to bed and then I've got to be fucking jolly for a week.
197: Oh, I'm sad. Which is silly, getting personally involved in celebrities' marriages is ridiculous. But nonetheless.
You Winston, you Loseston.
Euuuugh. I was happier five minutes ago when ballistic duck erections were an entirely theoretical matter.
Schrödinger's duck erection doesn't reflect reality, Standpipe. Those erections were going on whether we knew about them or not.
199, 202: I am totally sad and Bull Durham will never be the same again. Sigh.
Jen Garner was somewhat disappointed about not being able to ever name her kids something unusual, because no matter what she tried it would become popular.
178: Did she like the sonnet the best?!?
Those names all seem rather 'now' to me, I have to say. But then I have one which is on the list, 2 that are also mentioned, and another whose blogname is on the list (both flowers). I don't think we went so far along the M'cKynnzziy route as the US, so the old person name backlash came quicker.
grr, my daughter's name is on there. and I was so careful to check the social security list of name popularity first; it was very low and not apparently trending up. and we were totally going with milo maximillian if it were a boy. le sigh. I really do wonder what the mechanism by which these preferences become widely shared is.
Maximilian! That was one of the names I suggested! I still think it would go well with his other names.
