Her cadence was way to low and she was off the saddle. Her technique was very poor.
So now you can enjoy the great smell of sweaty vagina without all the nasty sex?
I can only assume it's a faute de mieux–type situation?
Look for my own branded scent, Taintgrease, in stores this summer.
This offends my delicate sensibility.
A product so tacky it makes its own ad look like art in comparison.
Hah. "Yes. I am over 18 years old and I enjoy juicy erotic."
1: I thought that was how spin class types, um, rolled.
Oh god that site is a treasure trove of awful. "VULVA Original will soon be complemented by the two erotic scent themes EIGHTEEN and EXOTIC."
I thought that was how spin class types, um, rolled
Not that I have ever been in a spin class, but I think spinning is normally done with high cadence.
Bikesex is indoors? It has nothing to do with ironic t-shirts, track standing and cutting off cars? I've been doing it wrong greatly mis-informed.
11: spinning on a bike certainly is, yes, but from what I gather "spin class" has very little to do with actual riding of bicycles.
Ha, that's a great ad, that. Obviously we all need to work out more. Constantly. And, was she a girl? Also, that guy is pretty cute. It's enough to mess up your concentration, really.
The laydeez all smell different. Is this scent an idealized version, one wonders, and how would one go about concocting such a thing?
I fear that dissociating the smell of aroused female parts from the sense of accomplishment that usually accompanies it is a sad idea.
Is it actually for real, this alleged scent? That would be a serious mistake. I assumed it was a joke.
I mean, finding the scent of your prospective partner pleasing and arousing is extremely important.
17: That's what I thought about Axe Body Spray, but then I saw that Target stocked it.
Googling about in search of a piece I wrote on spinning long ago, I find that there's a guy with my last name who markets motivational videos of bike races for spinning types. Imagine-yourself-in-the-action kind of thing. Weird.
from what I gather "spin class" has very little to do with actual riding of bicycles.
Apparently we are going to need someone with first hand experience to weigh in on the matter.
Has anybody ever smelled Axe? I don't think I have, as far as I know.
Though wait, I think my brother may use some of their products. I can't recall my response to it, other than: scented guy, uh-huh, my brother, beloved.
The site includes a not-joke-looking order page. I didn't go so far as to order it, but if OFE supplies a mailing address I could do so.
You know, I never figured out exactly what teen spirit smelled like. There was a girl I liked in high school who has some unique scent product that might have been it, but I have no way to confirm other than buying a sample.
As a college instructor, I have been subjected to the overwhelming scent of Axe applied in the liberal manner recommended by the commercials. It smells like four wasted dollars.
22: I did it once, for research. The bikes have racer geometry, basically, and heavy freewheels with a tensioning mechanism that allows the pedaler to simulate hills. It's done in a group, typically with a loud, throbbing music mix, and you vary cadences and burn up a whole lot of calories going nowhere. So spinning is to actual cycling as synthetic vulva fragrance is to actual vulva, basically.
While I have never been party to a spin class, I know people who have, and while they haven't told me what it involves, this association, I feel, gives me the authority to say that my impression is that it's supposed to be some kind of cardiovascular/aerobic exercise, and that comports with a high-for-the-most-part cadence.
So spinning is to actual cycling as synthetic vulva fragrance is to actual vulva, basically.
So the director of that ad is sort of a genius.
I have been subjected to the overwhelming scent of Axe applied in the liberal manner recommended
Why do people do this? I really don't get it. What is going on in their minds about what's attractive in the scent of a person?
Rhetorical questions. Okay. People can and should just carry on; if it works for them, it works, and that's fine.
Further to 27, see fartlek training.
29: An evil genius, for those of us who still believe in, and prefer, authentic experience.
As it happens, though, depending on the terrain with which you're blessed (not to mention your location's place on the urban/rural continuum), spinning might be the only, or best, way to get the particular "authentic" experience you're interested in—namely, one in which the difficulty of maintaining a given output varies from high to low. Sometimes you don't need technological intervention to get that effect because you can point your bike at a hill. But perhaps there are no hills, and so you doctor the bike directly. But aren't these cases morally the same? Even in the first case, the hill is only valued instrumentally/technically, as something which will evoke a certain kind of physiological response. That, in either case, is what you want to experience, and it's equally real in either.
(Perhaps you think that's just the wrong attitude to take to cycling in the first place, but then your quarrel isn't with spinning, per se.)
I can vouch that there are terrains with no available hills. For that reason, we strip the gears off our bikes, and delight in never having to work that hard.
So … you ride penny-farthings?
I find it odd that the woman whose recreation consists in picking very heavy objects up, then putting them down, would take delight in cycling in boringflat terrain.
32: The particular "authentic" experience I have in mind involves moving not just the body on a machine, but moving body and machine through space.
I prefer exertion in few second bursts. I prefer transportation be a smooth and pleasant glide.
I prefer exertion in few second bursts.
Maybe you and nosflow should get together.
Nonsense. I can copulate for England at any distance.
I thought all the sports talk was supposed to be in the other thread.
I used to have some Axe body wash that I used for cleaning my junk. Then one day, I didn't quite rinse it all off, and I got a big rash. Stay away from that stuff.
I had a roommate who was quite the fan of Axe. He would use it, in combination with Febreeze, as a handy way to avoid bathing or doing laundry.
He was disgusting, that roommate.
Why do people do this?
Same reason they pay $1.25 for 20 ounces of tap water in a plastic bottle: television told them to.
Axe may have the most unsubtle ads ever aired. Since they apparently have worked, in that someone is not too embarrassed to use it, I can only assume this claim to fame will be short-lived. I'm holding out for the body spray called "Balls".
43: Fortunately for people around here, my neighbor's dog is not nearly as compelling of a communicator.
I'm holding out for the body spray called "Balls".
What, Taintgrease is insufficiently gender-specific for you?
If this is a real product, this suggests a factory somewhere with vats of synthetic vulva fragrance and folks doing QA/QC checks.
I know the deodorant makers employ professional arm-pit sniffers. One assumes that such skills are transferable.
48: "Batch 5730: reminds me of my last job. Rejected."
I sometimes use the Axe body wash that was left by one of my roommate's guy friends who visited over the summer. It was free, so whatever. I haven't been mobbed, which is good.
Once I forgot to buy shampoo and discovered that you can wash your hair with regular bar soap. It also works for shaving cream. For a while, I was working on a whole grooming-minimalism thing. Then I tried "Tom of Maine's" toothpaste and went running back to Procter & Gamble.
Same reason they pay $1.25 for 20 ounces of tap water in a plastic bottle: television told them to.
12 ounces of water in a Smith and Hawken handcrafted artisan wooden bucket costs $12.
Same reason they pay $1.25 for 20 ounces of tap water in a plastic bottle: television told them to.
I'd like to believe that's all it is, but frankly, if television told you to walk around with straws stuck up your nose, you probably wouldn't do it. Even if Brad Pitt and the sexy woman on the exercise bike were doing it. So there's that.
This winds up being an endless, round and about discussion, though. Of course. The portion of humankind sharing a desire to clothe itself in rather strong artificial scents just confounds me and always has. My apologies to those of you who wear them on a regular basis.
This isn't to say that I don't on occasion enjoy using and experiencing some scents.
Leaving aside the whole marketing-to-people's-insecurities thing (which is hard to overstate), I have for years tried to track down a study I once read that claimed that people smell human sweat differently. That is, about 1/3 of people cannot smell it, to another 1/3 it smells bad, and the last 1/3 experience it as a faint, vaguely pleasant odor.
Social conditioning aside, if the above is even approximately true, I can see an inherent conflict between people who think sweat smells gross and want to cover it up with something strong and "clean," and people who don't mind sweat and who find the artificial covering-up scents to be actively unpleasant.
Plus, there's the whole issue of people getting accustomed to their own perfumes, and needing to put more on to be able to smell it, which can result in something overpowering.
All of that said, I have worn really yummy perfumes and loved them.
There is a difference between the clean, salty scent of vigorous exercise while it is being undertaken and the foul, pestilent stench of the bacteria on the skin having a pool party after the exertion is over. This is why the gym doesn't smell all that horrible, but the young man who works in some mysterious department further down my hallway makes me want to claw off my nose.
54.2: The thing is, I don't think the people in AWB's classes who are wearing Axe in every way, shape and form are sweating.
I dunno, maybe they are. Maybe boys sweat all the time, even as they go about their day-to-day business, going to classes and the library and the cafeteria and whatnot. Maybe girls too.
Or is this all a preemptive guard against the possibility of sweating?
For some reason, I find the smell of little-kid sweat really offensive, but adult sweat (as long as it's not old and funky) smells quite nice to me.
I find the smell of little-kid sweat really offensive.
A few of the teachers at Rory's school have expressed the same sentiment -- particularly now that most of the class has reached the age of smelly sweat. They, the teachers, dread gym days.
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Oh, someone I really don't want to reconnect with just offered to friend me on Facebook. Why is this FB thing a good idea again? Quick, hide.
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Yeah, one or two of them isn't so bad, but getting stuck on a subway car with a few dozen fifth-graders on a summer camp field trip is the worst.
59: You get over the guilt of just clicking ignore pretty quickly, don't worry. At least assuming it's not someone you're likely to run into. Or, accept and then set your privacy settings so that the person can't see any of your interesting stuff.
54, I flatly reject the notion that 'human sweat' has a smell that you can have a blanket opinion of. The smell of the sweat of a particular person who's been eating particular foods recently, sure.
60: On the other hand, telling fifth graders that they stink is a kind of delicate thing. At least one of the teachers is a little harsh with it, imho. UNG and his UGF, too. Note to alleged grown-ups: kids whose bodies are just starting to change such that they are developing body odor for the first time are coincidentally also kind of sensitive about this whole process of their bodies changing. Try to be nice.
63: I am assuming (perhaps erroneously?) there are no fifth-graders currently present.
Sometimes the men's locker room at the gym smells so horrible that it makes me wonder how, much less why, women tolerate us.
I once had to inform a work-mate that he stank. People [i.e. women] had complained, and as I was the 'boss' in that particular job, I was the one who had to do it. As I started to tell him, he misunderstood what I was asking about, and started telling me about his 'cutting' [he thought people had told me he'd been cutting himself]. Which then led to a very awkward conversation indeed, where I had to explain no, that wasn't it but shit! wtf, and, btw, you stink.
Isn't the main locker-room-smell problem related to the amassed bacteria and mildew, rather than any particular person? Women's locker rooms reek, too.
61: When you click Ignore, can they see that you've done so? In other words, does it show up as a sort of response on your part?
Worn boxing gloves have a particular stink that's nearly impossible to eradicate. Alcohol hand-gel, soap, scrubbing, repeated washing, none of it really works.
It is apparently almost impossible to pass on mascot uniforms from one person to another, because the stink is so bad, so ineradicable, and so personal.
My dad's hockey equipment had a similarly indescribable, awful smell.
74: Upholstered office chairs work about the same a mascot uniforms. That's why the recession doesn't worry me so much.
I have almost no sense of smell, and yet can attest that whatever it is that 12-year-old bodies do to hockey pads is among the most revolting reactions on god's green earth.
Women's locker rooms reek, too.
Gallantly, I assumed that ladies' locker rooms smelled of lilacs and fresh linen.
Sometimes the men's locker room at the gym smells so horrible that it makes me wonder how, much less why, women tolerate us.
This right here is precisely why I upgraded gyms. I like not being terrified of the showers.
Isn't the main locker-room-smell problem related to the amassed bacteria and mildew, rather than any particular person? Women's locker rooms reek, too.
I'd have thought so. Not that it's not attributable to any particular person, but that it's not attributable to the gathered persons either, but rather the eventual results of their, uh, labors.
If you hide someone on FB from your feed, how do you unhide them later?
When I opened up that website my responses were:
1)Oh, they're Germans! That explains so much.
2) If you click around enough to get to the image of the guy in the turtle-neck and sportscoat smelling his own fingers, while two naked women lean against things in the background, you have a pretty good idea of the aspirational self-image of their customer base. For today's busy pervert! (And I mean that, as Dan Savage would say, in the best sex-positive sense.)
85.2: I was wondering if the point of that image was to say, even with actual vulva available, this guy prefers synthetic.
86: I didn't see the image, but I would think it suggests that the guy had had his fingers in a place such that he might smell them later.
My interpretation was that the women exist in his mind because he's smelling his fingers. Otherwise the product would be kind of pointless, and I simply can't imagine that being the case
84 -- The easiest way to to hide someone else, then, after you clicked on it, the little box has a link for 'edit options.' You can go there and unhide the person you just hid, and the one you have become curious about.
Oh, right, but anyway, since it's an ad for a perfume, the idea is that you might like to smell that (on your fingers? is the guy supposed to use the perfume himself?) in lieu of the real thing.
Of course it makes no sense. Who is this marketed to? I imagine men are to wish to buy it for women? And women are to want to buy it because it's what their men want? Clever!
Who is this marketed to?
I don't know, but if I were a judge, knowing that somebody bought some would likely be enough for me to let the police dig-up the purchaser's basement floor.
Some unscientific research on the product. With gratuitous shots at Ms. Spears.
One blushes to quote such filth, but:
Shawn--"with his usual hushed delicacy of speech and manner"--inquires of the novelist whether he could possibly reveal what prompted the creation of such an exquisite work. Green obliges. "I once asked an old butler in Ireland what had been the happiest times of his life," he says. "The butler replied, 'Lying in bed on Sunday morning, eating tea and toast with cunty fingers.' "
94: Well, yes, those who engage in relations with women know that. But what are you supposed to do with the perfume?
Has anybody ever smelled Axe? I don't think I have, as far as I know.
Oh, you probably have and just mistaken it for ass. Happens all the time.
Why is this FB thing a good idea again?
Because on Facebook no one can smell their friends.
with cunty fingers.
Is this like bangers and mash?
Oh, you probably have and just mistaken it for ass. Happens all the time.
It's mostly women who drift by me in whose wake I register the whole "Huh, wow, you are trailing a strong smell around with you, which I assume is intentional, but what's up with that?" Very few men.
I take your point, however.
I'm totally confused. Is this a masturbatory aid? A perfume? A joke? What?
Same reason they pay $1.25 for 20 ounces of tap water in a plastic bottle: television told them to.
I have this great idea for a product that will definitely make me a billionaire. I call it "Give me a dollar." I put machines up all over the country that work basically like vending machines, except they don't give anything back. You just put in a dollar. Then I run ads everywhere saying "YOU ARE THE NEW GENERATION. YOU DON"T SETTLE FOR IMAGE. GIVE ME A DOLLAR."
I love the smell of vulva in the morning.
One good way to kill the blog is to zap comments even as they appear.
It is apparently almost impossible to pass on mascot uniforms from one person to another, because the stink is so bad, so ineradicable, and so personal.
same goes for bugs bunny outfits worn at Disney...
Also, I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Go Snow!
I'm just checking neb's script, here.
Well I suppose that's good to know. Go Saints!
No. The other thread confused me. 105 roused me to a full froth of fervent fandom.
I had a girlfriend/live-in who was one of those "deodorant is evil to women/etc. B.S." The unfortunate thing about it is that she was one of those people who totally reeked when stressed and sweaty. AND she was job hunting.
It was awkward. I had to ask my husband to try to be gentle and let her know what was going on. It did not help that she liked to eat stuff that does not help body odor, like sardines and onions.
A simple application of an (a brand that she thought was acceptable) deodorant helped the whole thing.
I also knew a couple of rennies that worked for a scent/incense/pewter dealers that were of that same mindset and just didn't care. When your BO exceeds the scent/essential oil products you are selling, you need to do something about it. They were both (male ands female) so rank it was disgusting. And they and their clothes looked clean.
Not reading the thread right now, but I think that my good friend, who's been a bike geek since he was 15 years old in the mid-70s, will have a heart attack and die when I send him this.
You just put in a dollar. Then I run ads everywhere
and sell t-shirts that say, "I GAVE HIM A DOLLAR". I'd buy one of those.
How much would the t-shirts cost?