I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard at anything on the internet.
I don't know. This one continues to keep me laughing harder more than anything else I've found.
It would be funnier if she could move her face more.
The video here is also pretty special.
About half way through it looks like she's about to burst into tears. I also love the automatically generated "related stories" on the linked post:
* Sandra Bullock, Now the Star of Your Worst Nightmares
* Wanna see my face?
* bad things
* gothic lolita.
About half way through it looks like she's about to burst into tears.
Well you know the lemonade curdled the heavy cream on contact. I'm having trouble imagining just how godawful a mouthful of it must have been.
I'm not sure I understand why she was trying to drink that. She had to know it wouldn't be good... right? Isn't the point of the show to teach people to make good things?
I'd like to see the rest of the clip--does she follow up that forced swallow with a forced "delicious!", or does she say something like "hmm... that drink didn't work out as well as I'd expected. Don't try that one at home."
She had to know it wouldn't be good... right?
That's my question: is she just high and making shit up as she goes along? She couldn't possibly have made one before, or she'd have known better.
She couldn't possible have needed to make one before in order to know better, I wouldn't think. I mean, we've established I don't know my ass from a pound of sausage in the kitchen, and even I know better than to mix cream and lemonade.
(One of my mother's punishments when I misbehaved as a kid was to mix a glass with half orange juice and half milk and make me drink it. I shiver to this day...)
Isn't the point of the show to teach people to make good things?
You would think, but not this particular show, which specializes in utter travesties that the host seems to believe -- or at least to think her audience will believe -- are good things.
(One of my mother's punishments when I misbehaved as a kid was to mix a glass with half orange juice and half milk and make me drink it. I shiver to this day...)
Shit. That's like waterboarding for kids.
(One of my mother's punishments when I misbehaved as a kid was to mix a glass with half orange juice and half milk and make me drink it. I shiver continue to eat curdled food to this day...)
9: So she's in on the joke, right?
I wonder if this is an order of operations thing. Cream is dense enough (or some other chemistry thing I don't understand) that it can take much more acid before curdling than milk can, but if you thin it out with some other liquid first it has the same curdling weaknesses again (I've ruined more than one batch of icecream batter thinking that I can do things my own way; one time so much so that it became sweet ginger ricotta).
I didn't know that citrus juice curdles milk. Don't some smoothies have OJ and milk in them? In any case, I was behind the Brock Curve of Food Learning on this one.
I kind of want to see the clip in regular mo. I want to see how she rolls with it and what she says.
I didn't know that citrus juice curdles milk.
Nobody ever got 16-year-old Stanley to try sucking on a lemon then taking a shot of Bailey's? Lucky 16-year-old Stanley.
Assuming one of these links is to the legendary Kwanzaa cake*, note that her producers don't even correct the issue of putting a tablespoon of cinnamon in when she says "a teaspoon". Her show should should be on the Theoretically Edible Network.
* "Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream." -- Anthony Bourdain
14: Orange Julius. When I was little I believed the drink was named after my father.
http://paulmayne.org/blog/2005/10/orange-julius-recipe/
I really cannot tell what Sandra Lee thinks she is doing. Nor can I comprehend how she is a successful little media empire. It is not like something like Bakerella's cake pops, which are also "semi-homemade" and may well taste awful but are presented in a cute and engaging way, so you can see why someone who liked that kind of thing might actually take the trouble to do it. Sandra Lee's stuff is more trouble and more expensive than scratch cooking, and totally gross looking and sounding. It's so weird.
I kind of want to see the clip in regular mo. I want to see how she rolls with it and what she says.
Same here!
Sandra Lee's stuff is more trouble and more expensive than scratch cooking, and totally gross looking and sounding.
Yessss. One of my favorite things to do with my mom is watch Sandra Lee and curse at the screen. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. THAT IS DISGUSTING. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
The "tablescapes" are insane. We are so lazy that we cannot chop our own mushrooms, and so stupid that we cannot figure out how soup is made, and have such poor taste that we think taco seasoning makes a fine crown roast, but we will spend like eight hours and thirty bucks designing hideous centerpieces and place settings for this insanely shitty dinner we just made.
With the Kwaanza cake, I don't know enough to be able to watch that and know it's disgusting. Is the only issue the cinnamon? Is it the store-bought icing and filling? Is it using angel food cake as a base? Is the angel food cake store bought? Is it the acorns?
Is her shtick to buy everything premade and then just do arts and crafts with the pieces?
20 is the funniest thing I've seen in months. Years, maybe. I live a sort-of sheltered and grim life, I guess.
With the Kwaanza cake, I don't know enough to be able to watch that and know it's disgusting. Is the only issue the cinnamon?
No, that's just shocking ineptitude and laziness. (Seriously, it is supposed a cooking show. The recipe she is reciting should match her actions.)
Is it the store-bought icing and filling? Is it using angel food cake as a base? Is the angel food cake store bought? Is it the acorns?
Yes, yes, yes, and (although they are not acorns, and uncooked acorns are poisonous) yes. Also the pumpkin seeds and the strangely dildonic candles.
Here, Heebie. Store-bought ice cream, formed into a baked potato shape, rolled in cocoa, loaded with slices of frozen yellow frosting "butter," Redi-Whip "sour cream," and chopped pistachio "chives." Because when I eat a dessert, I love thinking about savory foods, and also knowing that someone spent hours chilling and forming convenience foods to make that association happen. Taste the flavor!
Also, she speaks in almost unbroken spondees. I don't know how she does it. It's quite difficult to imitate, and supremely irritating.
I confess that, until watching this video and googling, I hadn't realized that Sandra Lee and Sara Lee™ were two different entities. I had honestly always thought the semi-homemade show was basically a direct shilling operation for Sara Lee™. In fairness, I caught bits of the show all of maybe three times.
It's almost like a cooking game show where you're only allowed to shop at 7-11. I look forward to watching 26 after I get back from teaching.
This Sandra Lee thing is weird. Upon seeing the original post I assumed it was an attempted ironic comeback by Sandra Dee. Now it seems that she is her own thing. But...what?
Sandra is totally right: the baked potato ice cream really brought out the kid in me! (Seriously, I can't believe I've never heard of this crazy person before now. My day is totally made. Baked potato ice cream! Is this a great country or what!?!?!! Also, store-bought frosting as a topping for ice cream? Great idea! Still, I think I'm going to try to whip some sugar into Crisco and use that instead.)
The "tablescapes" are insane.
These are clearly the only thing that she's really interested in. (She came from the world of the Home Shopping Network, with little craft kits that were wire frames for you to mount fabric on; as a friend of mine put it, "Sewing for people who don't want to learn how to sew! I detect a pattern.")
I'd heard of her enough to know what the schtick was, but never watched a clip before (funny, my kids like Food Network -- she must be on sometime we're never near the TV). Wow. I wonder if everyone watches it just for the surrealism, or if there's any substantial number of people trying this at home.
I didn't know that citrus juice curdles milk.
Me neither. Since when? This must be a new development, right? OK, I admit that's unlikely, but then how do they make lemon-flavored ice cream, any kind of smoothie with citrus in it... I vaguely remember being grossed out by my first Orange Julius, but I've had them since then without complaints, so I doubt that's why.
Sandra Lee's 10 Worst Dessert Disasters
I think I'm falling in love with this woman.
29:
Look at me
I'm Sandra Lee
Lousy with
My cookery
Hey Cyrus, try this great shooter! First, take a shot of lemon juice...
Ari's enthusiasm is infectious!
Wow, the clip in 26 is something to behold. I think my favorite line might be: "If you've ever wondered what to do with the top of your butter dish..."
(Can you tell that OUR BABY is napping? It's time for a glorious spate of simultaneous two-handed typing.)
Yay, napping! As you have a new baby, let me put in my usual plug for a sling, rather than one of the strappier, back or front pack carriers. Making typing possible even with a baby who feels like being held.
Sandra Lee is basically an impresario of the kind of thing I wanted to do in the kitchen when I was seven. I would have been more than happy to spend several hours preparing and disassembling and reassembling multiple storebought desserts, or adding white chocolate chips to my polenta.
Doughnut Tree -- Let's just say this one starts with directions to ice a Styrofoam cone. After you secure your powdered donut holes to it with toothpicks and add candy mint leaves and...blue jelly beans...your Christmas tree illusion will be complete. If you're not entirely happy with the bulbous "tree," at least you can take comfort in the fact that you've served your guests Hostess donut holes and crappy Walgreens candy.
8: And you've been anxious about cooking ever since? IT COULD GO TERRIBLY WRONG.
let me put in my usual plug
LB's next several comments will be typed while standing.
Brock, did you see my suggestions for a half-dozen dishes you might want to try making? I figure anyone can learn how to make brownies and then, hey, brownies. Or you could skip "pasta and homemade red sauce" and "pancakes" in favor of "No-Bake Love Cake" and "Donut Tree".
Yay, napping! As you have a new baby, let me put in my usual plug for a sling, rather than one of the strappier, back or front pack carriers. Making typing possible even with a baby who feels like being held.
Yes, it's the plan! I am looking forward to it eagerly. Except that this week's announcement of dire warnings from the government about "c-shaped" carries has made me twitchy, and feel that I need to find someone to show me for sure the best safest way to stuff her in it.
46: I did, thanks. I'm good on scrambled eggs and pancakes. The rest I might eventually work up the courage to try.
One imagines there will be a limit to Sandra Lee's depravity, but there really isn't. One imagines advisors at the Food Network who might say, "Hey, that idea sounds pretty unappealing!" or "Let's test that recipe on humans before taping," but there really aren't.
Except that this week's announcement of dire warnings from the government about "c-shaped" carries has made me twitchy,
Argh. But try Youtube for instructions -- the videos that came up for 'baby sling newborn' looked like what I remember doing.
adding white chocolate chips to my polenta
Holy fucking shit, I read this as exaggeration for comedic effect.
Nope; it really happened.
52: Same here with the "wait, that wasn't hyperbole?" reaction. I can't even figure out if that was supposed to end up as an oddly starchy dessert, or an oddly sweet side dish.
It has thyme and parmesan in it! Oh, you could have made a clever sweet polenta for dessert. But why, when you can do extra work to make it truly vile?
I've long wanted to watch a show on cooking aimed at people who hate to cook. Sadly this appears to be a show for people who love pretending to cook but actually hate food.
Sadly this appears to be a show for people who love pretending to cook but actually hate food humanity.
Hey! I have eaten sweet dessert polenta! But an echt Italian iteration thereof. It's kind of like what New England types would know as Indian Pudding.
55: Molly and I have this idea for a home improvement show where every episode begins with us talking about our planed project for that day. As the conversation goes on, the plans become increasingly elaborate. At some point, a bottle of red wine is opened. By the end of the show, we are lying on the couch saying "Wouldn't it be cool to put in a slide from the second story! Yeah, a slide! And a room that's one big ball pit!"
And a room that's one big ball pit!"
I think we're going to have to get a ruling from nosflow on whether or not this counts as a reference to the comic that shall not be named.
I allow it, on the grounds that it's just an expression of rob's fantasized intoxicated joie de vivre.
Do you want to get fat and drunk really quickly without any of the hassle of experiencing pleasure? Do you have infinite resources of time and money but no tongue and no eyes? Do you hate your friends and family and love awkward, glassy-eyed encounters with them? Sandra Lee is for you!
59: I have an idea for a cooking show in which I attempt to cook various things by applying as much energy as possible in as short a time as possible: "Today we will cook this potato with a high power laser!" The general theme would be cooking in odd ways, but there would also be a fair amount of stuff blowing up. I would use lasers, particle accelerators, flamethrowers, volcanoes, all that.
I suspect you could do a half decent baked potato by wrapping it in foil, mounting it on the nose of an SR-71, and taking it up to Mach 3+ for 15 minutes.
IIRC during the Korean war tankers regularly heated their rations by dropping them into the exhaust of their tanks, leaving them there at idle for a few minutes, and then gunning the engine to blow them out. This seems to me like the sort of thing people would pay to watch.
Brock, skip all the advice on what you should make. If you want to learn how to cook, and you don't have a patient parent/spouse/bf/gf to spend a ton of time with you, just buy a good cookbook. Read the cookbook through and through over a period of weeks, though not necessarily in order, in fact jumping around is better. Find some recipe that seems appealing, read it carefully, flip back to the techniques section and look up those that you'll need. Look at the order, look at what will be needed then. Prep as many of the ingredients as possible before the actual cooking starts. Follow the cooking instructions to the letter. This will be an absolute pain in the ass, but after you've done it a few times, it will rapidly become easier, and eventually you'll start both figuring out what shortcuts can be done on a hectic weeknight and improv. I recommend Marcella Hazan's Essentials of Italian Cooking, plus some basic book with a good techniques section, e.g. Joy. Hazan is great because the stuff that comes out tends to be excellent. There is nothing more frustrating than slaving away and getting not a disaster, but just consistent decent but nothing more.
"Today we will cook this potato with a high power laser!"
Then we mash it by dropping it on a primary explosive!
The existence of Sandra Lee leaves me wondering what other heretofore unknown voids in my life are just waiting to be filled by a dash or two of crazy, a sprinkling of cable TV, and a twist of new media. I can't wait to find out.
I know, Ari. I can't believe I went this long completely oblivious to her.
She's magic: the offspring of a unicorn, a pixie, and some poor soul just coming off a 72-hour hold at Bellevue.
66: The Flaming Greek... How is this not the name for some bizarre and dangerous sex act? Is reality broken today?
Ari's got a new lease on life.
This Sandra Lee phenomenon is news to me too, and astonishing. I just... wow.
She lives with Andrew Cuomo, so she could soon be plying her trade from the NY governor's mansion.
73: I totally am! A friend to whom I sent the relevant links, writes:
Good God. I think that Kwanzaa Cake may qualify as a hate crime[*]. (Also, "Kwanzaa Cake" will be the name of my first band.)
Leaving aside the decision to celebrate African American culture with angel food cake, what the fuckity fuck was up with the acorns and pumpkin seeds? Was she fresh out of decorative batteries and poutine?
She reminds me of the "Simpsons" episode where Homer tries to make dinner for the kids by just combining all the random scraps in the kitchen. "Let's see ... pie crust, Tom Collins mix, cloves ...."
* He didn't know about the Anthony Bourdain quote. Shrimp meet plate of shrimp
She lives with Andrew Cuomo
Wait, WHAT?
75: This I did not know! From cuckolded by Kerry Kennedy to pre-fab cheezwhiz queen. Hmm!
75: My god, you're serious. I'll get you, Cuomo!
This does all kind of remind me of the school of cooking my grandmother sometimes favored. In particular, of a salad my mother grew up eating: Place one ring canned pineapple on one leaf iceberg lettuce. Use the pineapple ring as a base in which to stand up one half banana. With a spoon, place a dollop of mayo on the tip of the banana, and draw a trail of mayo down the banana's side. Finally, use the top glob of mayo to anchor a maraschino cherry. Et voilà: a flame, melted wax, a candle, a candlestick. Candle salad! Apparently, and I quote my grandmother's cookbook, the mayo is what makes it a salad. The whole thing is obscene on so many different levels...
Leaving aside the decision to celebrate African American culture with angel food cake
Oh, so it'd be ok if she called it "White Devils' Food Cake"?
draw a trail of mayo down the banana's side...
makes even apo blush, I'm guessing.
place a dollop of mayo on the tip of the banana, and draw a trail of mayo down the banana's side
Oh, god. Vom.
80: For some reason, I think that's traditional Mormon food -- maybe I read it at Making Light?
||
Yay, our sling provider of choice has updated its website to address the CPSC warning and to provide detailed instructions for a worry-free hold!
|>
I wonder if Cuomo eats her Kwanzaa cake, or her ice cream baked potatoes.
(That wasn't meant as innuendo.)
82: Isn't "pre-fab cheeswhiz queen" sort of redundant? I mean, not to be picky or anything, but we're trying to keep the conversation at a certain level here.
a worry-free hold
I've heard that a glob of mayo makes an excellent anchor.
Et voilà: a flame, melted wax, a candle, a candlestick.
Ah. I was conjuring an entirely different image.
Wow. Maybe she'll be first lady someday. That would make for awesome state dinners--imagine serving Nicholas Sarkozy an ice cream baked potato. I'm so in love.
91: You'll have to be quicker with your crudités.
86: Really? Inherent worth and dignity etc. can generally get me to refrain from mocking Mormonism, but I'm sorry, any culture that endorses candle salad has it coming.
93: Ah. I see. Story of my life -- the guy always manages to get there first.
any culture that endorses candle salad has it coming.
Ari got there first in 83.
One wonders what the Food Network would be if it shunned personalities entirely in favor of, say, Ken Burns-style pans over countertops, tables and the shiny surfaces of fresh brownies, with vaguely Hal Holbrook-as-Mark Twain voiceover.
(That wasn't meant as innuendo.)
And yet it can't be read any other way.
It turns out I don't know who Hal Holbrook is. Not Hal Hartley, anyway.
97: Next, we'll make a salad of delicious low-hanging fruit.
100: Not really essential to the point: insert Garrison Keillor or Roy Blount, Jr., as you prefer. I, for one, shall while away the afternoon dreaming of Cooking with Cormac McCarthy, while I try to bend Expedia to my will.
For some reason, I think that's traditional Mormon food -- maybe I read it at Making Light?
Yep. TNH said something about how one had to have exceptional purity of mind to be able to say with a straight face that said salad was modeled on a candle.
"Of course! I'm a registered Democrat. But I leave the politics to Andrew, and he doesn't try to do recipe development or flower arrangements. He just learned the word 'tablescape'."
||
Roughly how long is the typical delay between consumption of fartogenic food and commencement of farting?
|>
106: Things not progressing as quickly as you'd hoped?
It depends on which bass you're using.
104: Coincidentally, I also just learned the word "tablescape."
I've never encountered this woman before, but she comes across as the Michele Bachmann of cookery.
flippanter:
Cooking with Cormac sounds great!
chef chopped onion. dinner eaten. stabbed the mexican. blood cleaned up. dessert served.
From 104:
"Mr. Cuomo said you organized not one, but two, Halloween parties, one for the twins and one for Michaela (who's younger), and you all cooked and decorated the whole house."
See Di, it could be worse. You could be competing for party space with Sandra Lee. She's cooking the whole house!
She's cooking the whole house!
It's a prefab house though. She's not building it from scratch.
The Thomas Kinkade of the kitchen.
||
Is will still around? If so: did you see they made a movie about CPL and it's showing at SXSW?
|>
The Thomas Kinkade of the kitchen.
Painter of Light; Cooker of Shite.
You know what would be hilarious? Candid Camera of Sandra Lee taking over for Achatz at Alinea some night.
"I will cook," Lee answered, looking distractedly at the table in front of her. "And do you know what I'm going to bring when I go to the governor's mansion? Great garnishes!"
I'm starting a band this very afternoon called Great Garnishes.
118: I think that would be "interesting".
Are you supposed to eat that candle thing? Banana and mayonnaise? My kids were eating celery the other day and one had celery and Marmite, and one of the others wondered what *banana* and Marmite tastes like. Hilariously disgusting, I think.
The possible options other than eating it seem even worse, wouldn't you think?
Looking at it? Yeah, that seems pretty bad!
I think throwing it in the bin might be appealing.
117: Nice. I tried but failed to come up with some appropriate "Xer of Y" construction.
I suspect her "this saves money and respects your busy schedule" shtick coexists very nicely with thinking "I'm not one of those people anymore, it's live-in chef and Nobu for me."
121: When I was about 9 I developed a taste for strawberry jam and mayonnaise sandwiches. Just thinking about it now makes me queasy.
125: Still no answer to my question, despite much googling. I did find out what to do if your kid eats cat poop, though.
what to do if your kid eats cat poop
Go on.
119: "Great garnishes, Miss Lane, Superman knew Luthor was the chef de cuisine at that molecular place all along!"
128: Call a Doctor, you moron! Do you know what's in cat poop? Cat poop, that's what!
127.2: Highly variable according to your own digestive tract, is my response.
I will be the odd one out here and say I'm intrigued by this idea of a baked potato ice cream dessert. It would of course need to have better ingredients than her version. But it strikes me as a modern day version of a subtlety.
I once happened upon Sandra Lee's show by chance, without prewarning (I had heard of her before but had done the same conflation as mentioned above with Sara Lee and thought it was some sort of sponsored thing with a fake person - like, um, Aunt Jemima or something). I watched the whole thing in utter fascination with the craziness! The craziness! However, there's no way I could watch her on a regular basis.
Cooking with Cormac McCarthy
The man lay a pot across the flame and coated it with oil. He paused and then studied the filmed surface, as if he expected of it some revelation, until the oil, rippled and coruscant with heat, began to crackle around a fragment of onion burned against the iron of the pan. This was the remnant of a meal previous, prepared by other men according to other methods now unanswerable to any recipe, this brief pyre its last imposition on the world of men before being scraped aside by some spatulate blade. The man then gathered into his hand half an onion, pale and coarsely hewn, and scattered it into the vessel. He stirred the hissing mass, prodding it into pellucid fragments, tender and larval.
All right, these onions is about as sauteed as they liable to get, he said and turned the burner off.
NOT THE FLATULOGENESIS DEVICE!
And I am really, really pwned. I suppose I should learn to preview, even if only occasionally. But then again, that would rob my humdrum life of one of its last mysteries.
137 gets it right.
I especially like the attention to using the word "some" instead of "a". Not that that is a Cormac-specific affectation.
Leaving aside the decision to celebrate African American culture with angel food cake
A friend of mine who was copyediting at one of the Martha Stewart magazines was the first person in the entire editorial chain to notice that the meringue desserts in a photo spread about Kwanzaa looked very much like little KKK-robed figures.
I can't quite decide what I think about her Cocktail Christmas Tree. Has the Galloping Gourmet finally been surpassed for alcohol-enhanced TV cookery?
I don't know, I was kind of there with her until the Nutcracker King on the top with the frosted blue martini.
144: The thought of strapping my wine glasses to a tree with wire gives me pains.
134: That is frightening, though I imagine that if the Food Network attempted to film Cormac McCarthy in his kitchen there would be a lot of silent, staring wrath.
146: Instead, though, perhaps Sandra Lee can teach us to make ersatz Cormac McCarthy cuisine. Baby-shaped salmon mousse!
147: Er, surely not salmon mousse. Perhaps Fluff with tinned peaches in.
Baby-shaped salmon mousse!
Made with four cans of tuna fish blended with pink frosting. Served in a cocktail glass.
Kwanzaa cake diagram mousepad (+ t-shirts etc).
You can't think of someone else who've written about crazy mormon salads, on another blog?
Even 149 made me laugh. Springtime + Sandra Lee = elation!!! I'm giddy with love. Or maybe it's all the frosting and ice cream I've eaten today.
150: Wait, I can haz Kwanzaa cake t-shirt? I can't find it. And it would go perfectly with my Strindberg and Helium shirts. Yes, that's shirts with an s. Plural, bitchez.
Yes, that's shirts with an s. Plural, bitchez.
In the category of things for which it is intimidating that you own them in plural, I still haven't forgotten this.
I've sold almost all of my bikes, if that makes you feel any better. I just wasn't riding enough to make it worth having them. Stupid kids and work take up lots of time.
155: Nooo! And here I am trying to accumulate more.
I'm still thinking about 98 while listening to Copland's "Fanfare for Tablescapes."
I'm still wondering about togolosh's question regarding fartogenic foods and the onset of farting. Clearly he's ironed out* the misunderstanding with the person who observed to him they they could do X at place Y at time Z, and we're approaching the Zed-hour. Oh noes.
* One might have said that he rectified the misunderstanding, but that would have been too much.
153: Here you go, ari. One level up on the website with the mousepad--t-shirts, coffee mugs, tote bags, stain-glassed windows.
I bet next episode she signs off with "Go fuck yourself, San Diego."
I've only looked at the mmmeatloaf bit linked in 20 and the slo-mo lemon and heavy cream bit in the OP, but judging from the descriptions of the ice cream baked potato and the tablescapes, Sandra Lee's schtick sounds like retro-50s cooking and approach to food.
There are a lot of people out there who still make meatloaf just like that, and who make, you know, jello fruit molds. Is her show (I've never seen it) targeted to them? As in, the Food Network is trying to cater to a wider audience?
|| I hope no one filmed my various expressions of utter boredom - so bored, that I cannot even come up with words to describe it, as if I were H. P. Lovecraft writing stories about boredom - during the event I attended over the last two days. A couple of speakers were ok. But no one should ever hold conference style events where the shortest individual speaking time is 30 minutes and breaks are less frequent than every 90 minutes. And that was just today. Yesterday the speakers went on even longer, and most of the topics were even duller. And if you add 15 minutes to a question period, that period should not take 30 minutes, and it should not be devoted almost entirely to a single question, and that single question should not be tedious minutia.|>
159: Thanks. I think that framed art tile will look great!
158: Since that critical information seems to be lacking, it may be best to invest in some GasBGon charcoal-filtered underwear.
134 alleviates some of the pain of the boredom. Cooking with Cormac McCarthy should be a three-part special, The Fusion Trilogy.
Yet, clinical studies show that the average person produces one to three pints of gas and passes gas 14 times a day.
I think not!
Merck says 13-21 (but then again read Sidebar 1 halfway down the page).
Maybe you're just above average, parsimon.
Despite the flammable nature of the H2 and CH4 in flatulence, working near open flames is not hazardous.
Good to know.
168: Below average, apparently. I mean, I'm not going to come out and ask whether people really fart like 15 times a day as a matter of course. Oh Wait: are we counting times when you're on the can? Probably, so maybe nevermind.
I think a lot goes on while you sleep as well.
Mine adheres to a strict schedule.
At least I hope that's what it was, and not something under your bed.
173: Thanks to Kramp Easy-Lube Vegetable Shortening.
I put olives inside my cherries inside my olives.
I really didn't think that fart joking would make me laugh like this, but it is.
I hear my housemate farting over in the next bedroom in the middle of the night all the time. I too hope it's not something under his bed. As far I know, I don't do that in the middle of the night myself.
I don't do that in the middle of the night myself.
You're not fooling anybody. You just read the wiki.
176: Noted and positively reviewed by Judith Crist. ... his [Ken Shapiro] Kramp TV Kitchen, where gourmet heights are reached by pitting cherries to stuff pitted olives ... all these, and a charming finale in midtown Manhattan - are first-rate.
178: That is way too freaking complicated when you're asleep. I do like the bit about sealing the covers around you.
166+ brought to you courtesy of the natural gas division of Uranus.
178 Detailed instructions on how to fart when sharing a bed, ollowed by 'Suggested articles for you to write: How to attract women.'
I was curious about what happened to Ken Shapiro who did appear to be going somewhere after Groove Tube (in which Chevy Chase debuted and Ken Belzer had a role). Apparently his film career did not work out (he produced a Chevy Chase bomb in 1981) but he has emerged recently as the inventor of BedBooks--"Printed SIDEWAYS for Reading Comfort"--which could easily have been one of the spoof ads* in the movie.
*Then again maybe they're great. Someone buy one and report back.
From a review of Modern Problems (the Chevy Chase movie mentioned in 185): The mercifully short running length is its greatest asset.
Chevy Chase: The Sandra Lee of comedy films.
I took Sandra Lee's advice and added thyme to my polenta today. Not bad! But I was out of white chocolate.
You could have used frosting instead.
Or apple pie filling. Or, perhaps, mayonnaise.
Or eaten it out of a cocktail glass.
@121: banana and marmite would taste fine. Marmite works well with genuinely sweet things: like fruit loaf and so on. As a kid, I discovered BOVRIL on GINGERBREAD with SALT-FREE BUTTER is the Food of the Gods.
With all due respect, *nothing* and bananas would taste fine. Bananas were invented by the devil in a particularly bad mood as a prank on the human race.
Here's an easy and awesome thing for Brock to try and OFE to shun:
• Peel four bananas of the correct ripeness and place in a dish of the proper size
• In a suitable pan, heat the right amount of apricot jam or jelly (or marmalade), with soft brown sugar, fresh OJ and rum
• When ready, pour this over the bananas and bake and/or roast till done
• Sprinkle with grated, dessicated or dried coconut, depending on definition
• Serve as it should be served
Tropical bananas in the tropis are ecstasy inducing. Some of this is variety — the short, fat ones sometimes called apple-bananas are the best. While I've seen ones resembling those in NAm, they don't seem to have a way of importing them that also allows them to ripen as they should, and instead they become dry starch-fests.
OFE: are you opposed to avocados, too? I've a cow-orker who claims an allergy to both bananas and avocados.
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Possibly only British Islanders will be interested, if that, but, re Bovril: "The first part of the product's name comes from Latin bos (genitive bovis) meaning ox or cow. Johnston took the -vril suffix from Bulwer-Lytton's then-popular 1870 "lost race" novel The Coming Race, whose plot revolves around a powerful energy fluid named Vril."
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195: Apparently there is a known banana-avocado allergy which seems to be caused by a protein, chitinase (and looks to be linked--who knows how--to latex allergy).
191, 196: Fluid... beef? Please tell me all the internet content about Bovril is an elaborate practical joke.
It's a mere sideshow in the vast "Broth" Hoax, in which the pretence is made that manifestly solid foodstuffs can somehow be present in liquid form.
If you want to understand why Britain had -- and perhaps then lost -- an Empire, here is Mrs Beeton on "Cookery for Invalids": Beef Tea -- which is basically hot diluted Bovril -- is as NOTHING to "Nourishing Lemonade". By chapter's end we are in Alice country.
199: I just linked this a couple of days ago, but unable to resist doing so again.
"Bovril" sounds like it would be some crop-attacking pest. "The cattle died after the Bovril struck their grazing lands."
199: "Toast Sandwiches"? Toast between two slices of bread? But... I... how... what...
202: Do the Brits have a broth/drink called Brucellosia?
203 to 200. You see how totally confused this revelation has left me.
Mrs Beeton is not maybe a good book to learn cookery from -- unless you need to cook PIG'S FACE -- but it is a genuinely great book to read.
201: Arrested development, now near top of netflix que.
200: I've just gotten to the recipe for coffee, boiling milk, and a beaten egg, and I'm not sure how much more I can stand.
Brucellosia would be rice pudding made with unpasteurised cream
206: Seriously, just clicking randomly led me to this beautiful sentence about pigs:
And though he occasionally shows an epicure's relish for a succulent plant or a luscious carrot, which he will discuss with all his salivary organs keenly excited, he will, the next moment, turn with equal gusto to some carrion offal that might excite the forbearance of the unscrupulous cormorant.
(Here.)
Bovril is basically a beef stock reduced down to solid.
Nourishing Lemonade.
[omg vomit]
Someone should take "Unscrupulous Cormorant", or "Unscrupulous C." for short, as a stage name.
"Nourishing Lemonade" sounds (except for the sherry) like lemon curd, which is delicious. However, gruel.
"Nourishing Lemonade" is in fact what Sandra Lee is attempting to make, in the O/P, no? Except with a pint of sherry.
("Nourishing" or "nutritious" is apparently Beeton code for "put an egg in it": and I think her approach to the sick was basically "GET WELL NOW or I PUT ANOTHER EGG IN IT!")
"put an egg in it"
... and now I have "Single Ladies" stuck in my head.
Brucellosia would be rice pudding made with unpasteurised cream
Or a character from a Monteverdi opera, who is vanquished by the noble Streptomycino.
217: You shit. It's now stuck in mine, too.
191 - my 121 wasn't clear. From the "yeuck"'s and laughter and "go on, try it"'s, I concluded that banana and Marmite tasted hilariously disgusting.
Yes but children eat raspberry bootlaces. Their tongues are put in wrong, or something.
I'm kind of fascinated by the concept of 'easily digestible'. What happens if your food is insufficently digestible? You get a bellyache? You shit funny? Does this still happen to otherwise fairly healthy people?
Does this still happen to otherwise fairly healthy people?
Well, you know, otherwise fairly healthy people fart an average of 13-21 times per day. It is difficult to know what to conclude.
Don't dwell on it, parsimon. I'ms ure all your farts are at night when no one is noticing.
I think they are! I tried throughout the day not to dwell on it, but I found myself counting (roughly, distractedly). I tend to pay attention to gastrointestinal issues, since I'm vegetarian and try to be aware of nutritional balance. I'm sorry?
"Nourishing Lemonade"
Let us not tell you how the lemonade is made. Sweet lemonade, oh sweet lemonade, sweet lemonade, oh sweet lemonade.
This should quite easily replace the Beyonce earworm.
(roughly, distractedly)
Best stage direction ever?
If comments here aren't a form of theater, I don't know what they are.
A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more?
I'm suddenly remembering that I had an exchange with Charley here in which he wished to point out that we're all (not just unfoggetarians in their on-blog personae, but all of us at every time) actors on a stage. I resist that characterization, but don't have well-formed thesis on the matter to submit and defend at this time.
we're all (not just unfoggetarians in their on-blog personae, but all of us at every time) actors on a stage
actors s/b players
but all of us at every time s/b but all the world's
So are you telling me Charley was not being original? Egad!
My mood is coming chiefly from reading through this Making Light post on online communities and the moderation thereof, and a couple of the past posts and threads linked there. So take me with a grain of salt. I've been poking here and there through those threads for a little while, when the mood strikes.
I bet is was an exact quote. An extended quote at that, as I recall.
You're not seeking the bubble reputation even in the cannon's mouth?
I'm glad that the sites I've wanted to comment at have almost all been of the extremely lightly moderated variety.
239: Maybe so; yes.
I don't know what 240 means.
I'm not an actor. I'm an agent-entity.
I don't need an agent. I have agency.
Parse, it's one of the seven ages of man. You know, one of the many parts each person in their time plays.
And this awaits you: And then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances.
246: Ah, okay, yes. That is, that's what you were quoting. Thanks -- I couldn't remember the context or the thread in which it occurred.
That which we call arose
By any other name would mean the same
250: arose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
Surely "arose" is preferable to "occurred" in 249.
Groan.
This works okay as a stage direction, though I kind of feel like a group hug is called for afterwards, in the spirit of good work.
258: We should discuss how to pronounce the first two letters in the last word in that sentence.
(Meanwhile, TN-H's moderation is falling on its face in the ML thread -- as of a couple of days ago -- with her throwing out "tsk" and "hogwash" and "jerk" and "disingenuous" and "stupidity" and disemvowelling left and right. Oops. It's sort of fascinating, but I think the guy she's yelling at for his contrary views on moderation says later that, no worries, he started leaving a while ago anyway. I'll stop reporting on this now.)
259: Or use the first part as a jumping of point for the now defunct curl-coil merger (the Brooklynese boid for "bird"). According to a survey that was done by William Labov in New York in 1966, 100% of the people over 60 used [ɜɪ] for bird. With each younger age group, however, the percentage got progressively lower: 59% of 50-59 year olds, 33% of 40-49 year olds, 24% of 20-39 year olds, and finally, only 4% of people 8-19 years old used [ɜɪ]. Nearly all native New Yorkers born since 1950, even those whose speech is otherwise non-rhotic, now pronounce bird as [ˈbɝd].
I pronounce grern as groin, but I'm a dying breed.
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Fuck this son of a bitch with a pointed stick. Will we never be rid of him?
|>
264: What is wrong with him? Ever since he got mixed up with Bush, I keep thinking, You don't have to do this. People in the US have to deal with what's going on because of hundreds of years of [mumble mumble], but you don't. Is there money in it?
Sorry, that was me. Part of me is always baffled when non-Americans take up American issues and rhetoric as their own. We do it out of absolute necessity because these issues become political shibboleths, but when someone from somewhere else does it, I think, come on, no one really buys that crap.
Also, this:
"He does not talk like a modern robo-candidate in the way so many US political figures do."
Arg. Killed my cache and... anyway. Me.
265: Is there money in it?
And how!
It actually isn't surprising at all that Blair's next move takes him further toward the lower intestines of the American religious right (albeit starting with its "centrist"-approved variant). Part of a long tradition of British douchebags seeking succor in the bosom of North American "conservatism" or movementarianism. The North Americans get to borrow some of the cultured and refined air of their British import, and the Brit gets to bask in the apparent adulation of conservatives and his own sense of having bravely transgressed against hidebound left-liberal norms to befriend the misunderstood salt-of-the-earth proletarian tribes of Real America.
Seems like political suicide in Europe though. He's still a young man and has many years of potential EU influence left in him. Why squander it over a few Tea Party handjobs? Besides, the American proles might like the sound of British accents in their car commercials, but not in their churches. African and Spanish accents make us feel good about ourselves, but Europeans make us very nervous.
...not to say that the religious in America and the Tea Partiers are the same, but he's walking right into the midst of the Republican Party's multi-decade campaign to turn the church into its political muscle.
...and, since I'm serially commenting, obv the Tea Partiers and Republicans are different entities, but only (I'd argue) because that campaign to politicize the church was too successful.
African and Spanish accents make us feel good about ourselves
African and Spanish accents make us feel good about ourselves
My experience with the bitter fundamentalist heart of the country will never be as deep as yours, but I think you might be missing something with this one. Too much time with the wretched refuse from some teeming shore can blunt the edge, I'm told.
Republican Party's multi-decade campaign to turn the church into its political muscle
The GOP version of labor unions, now that they've mostly crushed the labor unions.
274: I am thinking of the particular love American conservatives have for African pastors like the guy who cast witches out of Palin's church, or the pastor in that TAL episode about prayer in Colorado Springs.
OT: Speaking of Brit/Am relations, if I am listing American phone numbers for British callers, what is the way to do it that doesn't make me look like an idiot? I have never called an American number from a British phone and can't seem to figure this out by asking Google.
A big hobby of the really "out there" conservative Christians is daring to go to African-American, African, and Spanish-language churches and reporting back about how spirit-filled they were. That seems to give them the inspiration to start hollering randomly during their quiet nearly all-white services and talking about how you got to get out of your comfort zone and stuff.
http://www.americanexpats.co.uk/telephone.htm
Generally we write +1 555 555 5555. The + means "dial whatever you need to dial to get out of your country", I think. We would give our number to people in other countries as +44 118 999 9999.
Ah nice! Thank you! I think I'd found the correct prefix, but didn't know if that seemed condescending to include.
(Well, I would. The 118 bit is for my town, other people's would be different.)
Oh I mean the prefix to dial out of the UK. As you can tell, I don't make a lot of international calls.
278. You can actually dial +1 or +44 to connect on a British phone. Otherwise 001 or 0044 works and I think that's internationally standard. But I assume AWB isn't giving her number to a complete numpty who can't work this out.
I'd understand what Blair was up to better if he hadn't just converted to Rome. This seems weirdly inconsistent somehow.
Oh, right, you wanted the 00 bit? Sorry! Generally it seems like people don't write it like that though, just write the +. Not that I see an awful lot of business correspondence these days!
My mobile didn't like me dialling 001 for north american numbers, and only wanted me to dial +1. Took me ages (well, longer than it probably should have done) to work out how to dial +.
Talking of telephones, I should call my mother. Enjoy Mothering Sunday, those of you who observe it.
Yeah, I had it on this document as 001, but I've never seen it that way either, so I changed it to +1.
If it's mission critical, send your number to asilon or me and we'll try and call you. If we connect, it works.
Sorry, Mothering Sunday is some years gone for me. Anno Domini, y'know.
264: Huh. Blair will open an office in Toronto to develop his relationship with Belinda Stronach? Are he and Bill going to have to fight?
I have been called successfully from the UK before, but it's more about trying to figure out what doesn't look dumb on the application. I've never applied for a job outside the US before, so I'm a little nervous about the subtle things that make one sound stupid somewhere else.
Random example that comes to hand, the official contact details in the US for a popular science magazine, New Scientist: +1 415 908 3348.
It may not be the world's greatest magazine, but it's a legit business. I'd follow that format if I were you.
288: Bear, you can write 00 1 212-555-1212 -- that's certainly the common enough way to write a US phone number for a UK audience.
290. Shit, now we're confusing her. I really don't think it matters a lot, as long as the number given works, which either of those formats will.
291: No, no! I defer! My instinct was to leave off the 00 since anyone in the UK knows that is the "dial out" code, but I was checking telephone listings at lawfirms, and they'd left it in. So my first thought was the same as yours: 1-212-555-1212 (with or without dashes, with dots, however).
270: He's still a young man and has many years of potential EU influence left in him.
How much prospect for EU influence does the guy really have? He's probably better off hobnobbing with people who still think Saddam hid his WMDs in Syria.
Transplanting his own version of the Hitchens phenomenon into a "faith-based" movement is an unusual move, true, but there's no reason the borrowed sense of intellectual superiority shouldn't work well enough to sustain him. Novelty alone would work in its favor, and after all, this is the era wherein Creationism has decided to dress itself up as Real Science...
293: I went with +1 xxx xxx xxxx. Looks like British or something. (In American, I'd do xxx.xxx.xxxx.)
294: Yeah, I guess maybe he's lost all European cred and this is his kamikaze move. It's hard to tell from this side of the pond. I just don't think he'll do well here. British political rhetoric means nothing here, and if he starts getting involved in religion, people are going to start testing him on their litmus questions to find out if he's "really" a believer. I don't know where Blair stands on the big three (abortion, gays, and evolution), but I don't imagine he's in line with the folks he'll be dealing with here.
Well, best of luck with your application.
I don't know where Blair stands on the big three these days. When he was PM it would have been more than his life was worth to be openly anti any of them, although he was quite happy to sell schools to a creationist. But now he's out of office and a newly minted Catholic to boot, he might come out with anything.
It's quite possible that Blair won't have to take a very firm stand on the big three in any case: he's a practiced enough politician to be able to get by with careful, ambiguous remarks. If he were pressed by the religious right here on his views on abortion, he might easily just say that as a non-USian, he can of course say nothing about US laws, and that his focus is therefore on the good works his foundation promotes.
I find it hard to believe that it's not about the money, just the money, and not much more. But who knows.
Of more serious concern is the overlap between faith-based organizations and North American politics. His presence at the National Prayer Breakfast is irritating, but then that's because the latter is irritating in its own right. Blair's just plugging into something that's already in full swing here.
He's still a young man and has many years of potential EU influence left in him.
Err...no. I guess Berlusconi counts for something, but really nobody else. The old pro-Iraq group is mostly gone - Aznar, Kazcynski & co. Sarkozy might have been sympathetic back when Blair counted for something in his own right, but now he's more interested in the future. Angela Merkel essentially vetoed having him anywhere important. And when your main ally is Berlusconi, you tend to get contaminated.
The interesting question is what he's actually going to do, and where he's accepting donations from...
Phonery - +(country code) (area code without any leading 0) (subscriber number) is how most things store numbers now.
271: ...not to say that the religious in America and the Tea Partiers are the same, but he's walking right into the midst of the Republican Party's multi-decade campaign to turn the church into its political muscle.
This is becoming incredibly difficult to track these days. The megachurches seem to be promoters of prosperity theology, which seems to go hand in hand with libertarianism, which seems to track with Tea Partiers: it's less about sociocultural conservatism and more about small-government fiscal conservatism. There seems to be less and less common cause between that sort of thing and the Republican party.
The fact that the (religiously inflected) Tea Party right is mounting a serious challenge to establishment Republicans would be fascinating if it weren't so grim. We'd have to know more -- I haven't checked -- about the religious organizations Blair's foundation is working with to know whether he's casting his lot with the Tea Party-like crowd or with the Republican establishment. Most likely playing both sides.
* Note they are distinctly not Catholic.
Blair and nothin' but Kobe coated in fondant.
Blair ain't nothin'. Stupid high stakes round numbers.
298 The Kaczynskis? Not really. They don't particularly like him, or dislike him for that matter. His greatest admirers in Poland were the post-communists (the folks in power in the run up to Iraq), and they're politically dead. Now if he was the only viable alternative to a full on lefty, or someone known for pro-Russian views they'd strongly back him as the lesser evil, but so would anybody else in Polish politics. And while the twins are themselves deeply pro-American and pro-NATO, by far the largest chunk of anti-Atlanticist, anti-American types are to be found on the hard right - i.e. the PiS electorate, though they've been muzzled on that issue for the past three years as part of the terms of the Kaczynski-Rydzyk alliance.
What is wrong with him? Ever since he got mixed up with Bush, I keep thinking, You don't have to do this. People in the US have to deal with what's going on because of hundreds of years of [mumble mumble], but you don't. Is there money in it?
The Ghost Writer offers one hypothesis.
Hey, any thoughts on what computer I should buy?
Based on the answers I got last time, everyone will tell you to get a mac. Does it meet your requirements? No? Get a mac anyway. Change your requirements. So you should reformulate your question as What kind of mac should I get?
(I'm kidding. Some people did recommend various types of PCs. Eventually.)
No way can I afford a Mac. So, acknowledging that Macs are great etc. etc., what sort of non-Mac should I get?
No way can I afford a Mac.
Like apo said, what's your price range? Apple offers pretty decent educational discounts, FWIW.
I bought a Window 7 desktop for $500. It didn't come with a monitor. It did come with Dual Core processor and 6 GB of RAM. I found it through the exhaustive process of running to Best Buy after I realized the motherboard on my old machine was fried.
Let's say under $500 if possible. Laptop is preferable, and it should be something that I can use as my primary computer well into the future. Macs are problematic not only because of price because some of the software I might need down the road doesn't come in Mac versions.
I've only used this once, and it was nearly ten years ago, but in that range you might want to try Dell Auction. It's kind of like buying a car used from a car rental agency with many of the same risks. Anyway, just throwing this out as an idea since I don't know where you will get a new $500 laptop if you want good specs.
If you want a generic Windows laptop, you can get a nice one from Dell for $500.
A used Intel mac, I should say, because then you can run any software you please.
311, 312: Thanks.
313, 314: Suggestion noted.
You know why people suggest macs like this, right? We aren't just trying to be annoying.
We suggest macs because every time we neglect to, Jobs zaps us through our monitors.
316: I assumed it was self-bolstering by proselytizing, but I'm more open to the now that I've gotten my hands on an iTouch.
s/b "more open to them". Meaning Macs, not people who recommend Macs.
319 gets at it. Because they will make your life fundamendally better in ways that are difficult to describe. They make computers non-hateful! If you're (a) going to be using a computer all day every day and (b) are not a hardcore computer nerd, you will be much happier.
321 might be part of the problem, but I swear it's true!
321, 322: Again, noted, but at this particular point in my life I'm inclined to go with the devil I know.
Noted, but you're making a terrible mistake.
At the time I was learning stats, Windows was the "wow this is makes my life better" option. And, compared to a mainframe....
Also, realistically, how cheap do even used Macs get?
Hard to figure out on my phone, but $500
seems easily doable.
Googling around a bit, $700 or so looks typical. That would be doable for me, but not preferable.
Bracketing the Mac conversation, anyone have thoughts on netbooks? Are they worth getting?
329: In addition to your new computer?
331: Then no, I think, especially if you're planning on writing a lot on it and running specialized software, etc.
That's what I was thinking. My old computer does still basically work, so I could theoretically just get a netbook for internet stuff and use it for everything else, but it's not going to last forever and I'd rather be able to do everything on the same machine.
I had a netbook briefly, teo, and found it annoying. I bought a MacBook Air, which I love, instead. (Oudemia, do you still have yours? If not, why?). But that's way out of your price range. Still, I'm with Tweety: seriously consider buying a used Mac. College campuses are great places to buy machines that are often very lightly used. So is there a campus wiki? Or some sort of for sale bulletin board? If so, post a wtb message and see what comes up.
It's Spring Break, so there aren't a whole lot of people around, but I'm sure there's some sort of bulletin board thing. I'll take a look.
334: I do not have it! BUT I have a new one! I had a recurring issue with the sound on mine. It disappeared entirely every 3 or 4 months. Apple would repair it and then -- boom -- no sound. (I mean, no sound through speakers, no sound through headphones, and seemingly related issues like youtube or Skype crashing instantly when this was going on.) Over and over and over and over. Once it happened a fifth time I told them that I was no longer receptive to the idea of repairing it, so they sent me a brandest new top-of-the-line one, which has happily bopped along without incident.
Try to buy from a prof, who, having likely bought the machine with research funds, will see the transaction as a windfall. This worked for me a couple of times when I was in graduate school and also once very early in my career.
336 is another reason to consider buying a Mac, teo. If you can afford a new one with AppleCare, it means you don't have to worry about problems for three years. And if there are problems, Apple is, in my experience, really good about making things right. (I, too, got sent a brand new machine when I had a series of issues with one of my computers a few years back. I didn't even ask. They just sent me a new one. And a really nice card thanking me for my patience. Plus, most of the AppleCare people I deal with are Canadian, which is usually quite reassuring, eh?)
Sifu speaks the truth. Macs make life pleasant. ari's 337 is also a good idea. Unfortunately my old Powerbook is too old to be useful, and my new Macbook too new to have a good excuse to get rid of. But there must be someone you can find who's ready to upgrade and whose old computer would suit you well. Or maybe there's some way you can obtain research funds of your own? Computers are cheap, as far as grants are concerned.
338: My AppleCare people are all in Austin, I think. It was actually quite funny when I called the last time about the sound thing. I said, "Well, you know, I don't want to troubleshoot anything and I don't want to repair anything; I just need a new one at this point." And the fellow replied, "Well, I totally agree with you about that. I can only authorize repairs and troubleshoot, but I really, really agree with you that that isn't really an option anymore." Me: "Oh, well. Yes, so let's talk about getting me a new one!" Him: "Yeah, you really need a new one! I can only talk about repairs." Me: "Oh! You need me to ask?" Him: "You'd like to speak to my supervisor? Terrific! Let me get him for you."
Or maybe there's some way you can obtain research funds of your own?
I doubt it, especially not in the next couple of days.
Well, there's always sketchy Craigslist options.
I have sold several Macs on craigslist. I am not sketchy! (Although all the folks who wanted to send me mail orders and FedEx labels to Nigeria were pretty sketch.)
342: Hey, at least they accept all major credit cards.
And the ALL CAPS lets you know they're for real.
343: But did you have A LARGE SUPPLY OF 2009 CLOSEOUT/CLEARANCE APPLE MACBOOKS?
346 was me. I'm in the computer lab at school.
Yeah, it's more the "we have a large supply" and the prices way lower than the other listings that seem sketchy. I bought some of my furniture from a guy with a very similar ad. He was a crazy racist loon, and I suspect that he was somehow selling things obtained for his business in a way that made him an off-the-books profit or something, but I decided not to think too much about it.
343: I feel sorry for honest Nigerians with computers. Life must be impossible for them, though I suppose much better than for Nigerians without computers.
346: No, but that would be AWESOME. I sold a Cube to a dude in France and a blueberry iBook to a Yiddish scholar and a TiBook to an exotic dancer.
349: One of Olesegun Obasanjo's sons works at Microsoft and blogs about the industry. He's mentioned that he actually has to read all the 419 spam he gets.
The real reason for all the Mac proselytizing is that if other people switch from Windows, it will make the lives of existing Mac owners better, because it will add to the incentive for developers to develop Mac software. Don't fall for it.
teo, did you check what the Rutgers rate is for purchasing a Macbook? There's a Rutgers custom Apple store site, so there's clearly some sort of discount.
I guess it's likely to be $900, which is still out of your range.
353: I did check that. Cheaper, I guess, but still out of my price range.
354: Only briefly. A friend's mother was like, Oh -- just take that thing out of here! And I said, well, um, you know, people collect them. You could sell it! I could sell it for you!" "No, no, no. Just take it. Sell it, whatever. Just take it out of here!" So, I did. And sold it.
319 gets at it. Because they will make your life fundamendally better in ways that are difficult to describe. They make computers non-hateful! If you're (a) going to be using a computer all day every day and (b) are not a hardcore computer nerd, you will be much happier.
And yet, everyone I know with a mac is a hardcore computer nerd.
Somehow I doubt this person is going to be successful, but I wish them well.
There's just no way around the fact that new Macs start out at a higher price than new PCs. I'm likely to buy a Mac if I ever reach the point where I can have two laptops that work fine.
Although I guess if I can fix the fan on my old laptop, it will work more or less fine. I'd need an after-market part at this point, though.
Everyone I know with a mac is more or less clueless, which makes it a little hard to take, alas, since they seem to believe otherwise. Given enough money, I'd have one of each, possibly (software compatibility issues; though the Intel Mac Sifu mentions in 314 is news to me).
the Intel Mac Sifu mentions in 314 is news to me
I had heard vague things about it, but Sifu's assertion that it can run anything was a bit surprising. I looked into it a little, though, and it seems to be true.
I still doubt I'll get a Mac, though.
362 is more than a little funny, taken holistically.
362 must be trolling, right?
I started to write more about the virtues of Macs, found myself writing the phrase "all the Unix software you know and love", and realized my sales pitch is probably not the right one for teo.
I have a bit of a dream of turning all open-sourcey and running Ubuntu (or something) on something or other, but most of the time I keep thinking I might spend on increasing my tech skills goes to procrastinating on the internet instead.
I started to write more about the virtues of Macs, found myself writing the phrase "all the Unix software you know and love", and realized my sales pitch is probably not the right one for teo.
Heh. Indeed.
365: I realized in retrospect that it was open to that observation. That's not the kind of cluelessness I was referring to, though.
One should never exert effort on increasing tech skills that one doesn't need in the short-term. This is the biggest mistake I made from age 14 to 18.
370 to 367. Spending too much time procrastinating on the internet, of course, is the biggest mistake I made from age 24 to 28.
370, 371: From 29 through 34, it was the liquor store hold-ups.
Oh, hey. Looks like Btock started a LiveJournal page: Can I Eat This?
370: With the little bit of javascript I've been planning to learn for months, I could write a something or other for some web-based thing that could makes some minor but useful stuff much easier for me and, if done well enough, for many other people.
Further to 370: that's why I didn't take another programming class after 1992 until last summer. I'm at the point where to have short-term uses for certain tech things, I need to learn just a bit more than what I have.
the biggest mistake
Really? The biggest mistake? I, um, am having a very hard time pinpointing the biggest mistake I made in those years. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I made anything but mistakes until I hit seventeen or eighteen.
360: They stopped making the G3 iBooks in 2001, so it isn't that crazy of a price.
376: Learning about x86 assembler when I could have been, say, asking out that girl who actually seemed to be reciprocate my interest? Yeah, 15-year-old me was making a pretty big mistake.
I try not to think about all the mistakes I made in my younger years. There were a lot of them.
My motivation to do other things isn't helped by the fact that one of the fields I'm in seems to have the goal of draining its students of all wide intellectual interests and replacing them with some of the narrowest and dullest ways of thinking one could adopt. (Many of the actual jobs still seem ok. Just have to get there.)
While I still don't think I'll end up getting a Mac, I do have to admit that reading the customer reviews of PC laptops on the Best Buy website is not inspiring me with much desire to purchase any of them.
I had a similar reaction to the lower priced laptops at Best Buy. I'm fortunate in that I had a bit of a higher price range and I'm happy with what I got.
I don't think the exact model I got is available in the US, actually. It's a Vaio.
379: x86 assembler was developed specifically to stop you from meeting that girl. On the one hand, the sex would have been incredible and you were perfect for each other. On the other hand: Hitler 2.0.
Teo, there's also a Dell refurbished machines section on the Dell website (last I knew, about a year ago); if you know roughly the specs of the machine you want, you can get one of these at a reasonably reduced price.
I've known a few people who've done that and had no complaints. The machines are ones returned to Dell for some problem or other, Dell shipped the customer a new one, fixed the hardware problem on the old one, and now puts it up on the website.
Point being that the refurbished machines are essentially new. But it's catch as catch can, depending on what they happen to have.
389: I've got a Dell now, and while it's okay, I'm not sure I'd really want another one. I've had some trouble with it over the years. I'll look into the refurbished ones, though.
The Vaios on the Best Buy website are a bit more expensive than the stuff I was looking at, but the reviews are also consistently much more positive. I might end up spending the extra money for one. (Still not willing to spend Mac-level money, though.)
A number of my friends and I bought laptops at the same time (approximately 6 years ago). My Powerbook is the only one left running that gets heavy daily use; the Dell crapped out first and required a number of fixes before its final death; and the Vaio is still running but doesn't get every day use. If I were ever to switch from Apple (which isn't going to happen, but hypothetically), I'd get a Vaio.
Also, I have a Mac and am neither completely clueless nor a computer geek, so, you know.
I should go home now, but thanks for all the input, everybody.
If any of the historians are around: is there any good single article overview on the WPA slave narratives? I'm looking for something that gets into why the WPA did the interviews, how they were done, plus evaluation of how they've been used (in general and especially as historical sources).
I've found multiple articles, plus mentions of discussion in books, but I'm wondering if there's any single one (or two) that everyone is supposed to read.
Of failing that, an article on the use of oral history and a comparison between oral history sources and archival sources would be nice too.
I got a low end HP a year and a half ago and am distinctly unhappy with it. I had a Dell and a Toshiba before that and was happy with both - the former worked fine before it died after four and a half years, the latter had a serious problem a year in while still under warranty and lasted another four. But I don't actually want a notebook to last more than five years. By that point they're just too damn slow.
394. 1st reaction is to look toward stuff by Ira Berlin and company.
||
Haskell question. See this function?
foo host uri = do
(Just u) <- return $ parseURI uri
contentlength <- getcontentlength u
print contentlength
contentlength <- return 6587
sofar <- newMVar 0
x <- (openStream host 80)::IO (HandleStream String)
setStreamHooks x $ nullHooks {hook_readBlock = (\_ count _ -> printpercent count sofar contentlength)}
y <- simpleHTTP_ x $ request GET u
r <- return $ either (\_ -> "") rspBody y
print $ length r
return ()
?
(The second setting of contentlength owes to the fact that google doesn't seem to report a content-length header. Ignore the fact that the URI contains host information.)
Here's my question: if I call it on "http://www.google.com" (with relevant host), the callback gets called more than once. In fact, it only seems to get called more than once if the host doesn't give a content-length header. Has anyone got any idea what the deal with that is.
Teo, if you're still up, send me an e-mail at my work account.
383: There is a reason Apple doesn't really sell computers new for under $1000.
The best bargain in Macs is to troll the "Special Deals" on Apple's web site and look for something refreshed (usually sold and returned as not defective, then tested and repackaged) or reconditioned (returned as defective and repaired). You can usually find a MacBook for under $1000 on the list with just a few days of trying, although AppleCare is somewhat obligatory and adds to the price.
But if you ain't got the money, you ain't got the money. I'd look at Dell and pay the extra for two or three years of on-site service.
Cheap computers break with alarming frequency, and in mystifying ways. The extra money of a Mac with AppleCare (or an equivalent Dell with service plan) buys you both a decreased likelihood of those problems and better service should you be unlucky enough to have them.
398: You totally store him a MacBook, huh? Devious!
Hey! No one stole me a Mac when I needed a new laptop.
396: Berlin's work that I've read/know of is more general/earlier in time period than I'm looking for (but very good, I thought). But I'll see if he cites someone more specifically on the subject of the narratives.
Can it wait until tomorrow, fa? I can ask someone who will know for sure. (I should know but don't. I mean, I can give you a list of sources, but I can't tell you if one or another item on the list is definitive. Sorry about that.)
Sure, tomorrow is fine, thanks. It's something I'd like to work into discussion before this term ends, but even if I don't do that, there will be other uses for it.
(I wrote up a longer explanation, but decided it was too revealing of possible research interests for pseudonymity reasons. Stuff I might want to put up under my real name sometime.)
Teraz's real name is shared by an oncogenic poultry virus, if that helps.
Turns out ari got impatient and already fenced the computer. Dammit, ari.
Knecht, e-mail sent. The coded e-mail address is my real first name in Polish (I use both the English and Polish version), dot PS at google.
I went ahead and ordered a Vaio from Best Buy. A little more than I was originally intending to spend, but the low end stuff all looked pretty terrible.
Okay, fake accent, here's what I've got. From a very reputable scholar of American slavery:
"Read the introduction to Blassingame's Slave Narratives. See also a book called Voices From Slavery by Norman Yetman. These two books' introductions contain interesting critiques of the WPA narratives. I also recommend Paul D. Escott's Slavery Remembered."
Thanks, ari. I was worried you might have fenced the reply to someone else.