Re: And why, in Heaven's name, is the back of your head bald?

1

Er... so much for the wicked-counselors theory?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:10 PM
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Gosh, it might have been nice if he had come out with this a while back, don't you think? Before we wasted all that time torturing them and all.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:12 PM
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I've already proposed an equally qualified candidate, Ben.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:13 PM
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This will be helpful piece of evidence in the criminal proceedings against them.

(There are going to be criminal proceedings, right?)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:15 PM
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Nah. There were difficult legal questions about whether Bush had the right to indefinitely detain and torture people he knew to be innocent -- I personally think the arguments in favor are wrong, but cannot judge harshly anyone who believed them in good faith. Imposing some kind of ideological litmus test on the free flow of legal argument would be tyrannical.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:18 PM
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There were difficult legal questions about whether Bush had the right to indefinitely detain and torture people he knew to be innocent

Well, 4 was a joke, but suffice to say that--although I acknowledge I haven't followed all the legal debates on these issues as closely as I should have--I've never heard the legal questions framed quite that way ("the right to indefinitely detain and torture people he knew to be innocent"), and--framed that way--I'm actually not so sure those are difficult legal questions. It's possible I'm wrong about that, I guess, since you say so, but that's a scary thought.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:26 PM
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Worst pacing, evah.

No, this is worse.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:28 PM
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5: There were difficult legal questions about whether Bush had the right to indefinitely detain and torture people he knew to be innocent -- I personally think the arguments in favor are wrong, but cannot judge harshly anyone who believed them in good faith.

What? Seriously?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:29 PM
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5: In the future maybe use the Lizard B Readth* pseud for this particular trope.

*My favorite variant (actually it was "BReadth").


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:31 PM
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Didn't I tell you guys? After that CT thread, Kerr emailed me and said he was impressed by my tenacity, and asked if I wanted to blog at the VC. I'm practicing my reasonable tone.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:32 PM
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I like "LizardBread."


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:33 PM
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11: Yes, it's delicious. One of the foods I miss most now that I'm vegetarian.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:38 PM
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8: No. That was not meant seriously. I am certain about this.

I am fairly certain that 10 is also not serious.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:41 PM
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12: Also now that I've decided that my role on the internet from now is to clarify rather than further obfuscate, I should state that my comment 12 was not intended to be taken seriously, and was ,in fact, an awful joke.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:44 PM
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Wait--5 was a joke??


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:46 PM
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Oh Lizardbreath. Did you turn him down? Think what you could do to VC from the inside?

Tell me you said yes!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:48 PM
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Apparently, Lizardbreath has been Mic/hael Muk/asey all along.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:57 PM
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10: That was eerie.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 12:59 PM
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10. Please don't make me start reading VC regularly. Hilarious, though.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:07 PM
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9: I've wanted to just start calling her LizardBreadth all the time around here.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:08 PM
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(It is clear that 10 is entirely as much a joke as 5, right? There were no emails from Kerr.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:09 PM
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Is 21 a joke?


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:10 PM
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16: Think what you could do to VC from the inside?

She wants to have consensual sexual intercourse with it like a mobile multicellular, eukaryotic organism.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:11 PM
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(Sorry. Couldn't resist.)


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:11 PM
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12, 13 and 21 are the jokes. 5 and 10 were serious.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:11 PM
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And I should say on a shorter, more active thread, I'm less convinced by my theory of Kerr's motivation than I was when I wrote it. I went looking for VC posts that would confirm that that was a pattern, and didn't easily find them. The VC blurs together a bit for me, and I may have been attributing positions to Kerr that I'd seen other VCers take.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:11 PM
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10 was an obvious joke. 5 wasn't. (To me.)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:13 PM
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Oh no. I didn't get that 10 was a joke. I had new and dazzling thoughts about LB setting out to poke VC like a beehive.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:14 PM
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My ideal Supreme Court would be LB, Di, Megan, Helpy-Chalk, Neb, Cookie Monster, Apo's Cock, Jane Austen, and for balance - Adolf Hitler.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:14 PM
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10 is obviously a joke, but I don't see why 5 would be.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:14 PM
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23,28 You people are obsessed with sex!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:16 PM
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29: those are all fine candidates, but it's hard for me to imagine an "ideal" Supreme Court without the Gayatollah.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:17 PM
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Now I can't tell if 30 is a joke. Fuck.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:17 PM
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Apo's Cock

FDR tried packing the Court and was rebuffed.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:19 PM
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All comments are jokes.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:20 PM
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I'd vote for LB to replace Justice Stevens. I mean, if I had a vote on the matter.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:22 PM
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So, I aske dthis on the other thread, but didn't get much of a response.... is the short list, basically: Elena Kagan, Diane Wood, Hillary Clinton, Merrick Garland, Janet Napolitano, Deval Patrick, Kathleen Sullivan, Cass Sunstein, Harold Koh? Am I missing anyone? Who's best?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:23 PM
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Cookie Monster seems like a readily sway-able jurist. But I can't think how to bribe Apo's Cock. If only we knew what motivates it.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:25 PM
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38: Attention.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:27 PM
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The nomination should be by popular vote, following an open mic session at the judiciary committee.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:29 PM
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40: Applause-o-meter.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:30 PM
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David Broder gets to pick.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:31 PM
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My ideal Supreme Court would be LB, Di, Megan, Helpy-Chalk, Neb, Cookie Monster, Apo's Cock, Jane Austen, and for balance - Adolf Hitler.

Space-hyphen-space for a sentential dash will get you the death penalty under the nosflow court.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:34 PM
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It's important to know these things beforehand so they don't come up as surprises during the confirmation hearings.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:35 PM
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What if Cookie Monster isn't a faithful jurist? What if he doesn't stay bought? What if there is a daily cookie war between factions, trying to win Cookie's crucial vote? That could be some fierce competition.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:53 PM
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Am I missing anyone?

Some recent TPM (I think?) SC speculation thing also mentioned Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden as being on, albeit well down, the list. The latter would be a BFD of course.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:57 PM
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Hillary Clinton was on my list. Biden... really?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 1:58 PM
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47: Oh, I missed Hillary on your list, sorry. Yeah, it seriously mentioned Biden, but it wasn't sourced or anything, IIRC.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:00 PM
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43: Google doesn't know what a "sentential dash" is, and therefore neither do I. Somehow I am OK with this, fool that I am.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:02 PM
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46: I like the idea that, just as the Great Depression is now repeating itself as the Great Recession, the New Deal is repeating itself as the Big Fucking Deal.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:05 PM
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47, 48: Lists of possible Supreme Court nominees have to include a few names that are widely familiar to make them interesting. Everybody knows the actual choice will be a non-famous judge.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:08 PM
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50: This has just made me very, very happy.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:11 PM
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52: Molly showed me a cartoon making this joke, but I can't find it again.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:17 PM
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52, 53: I'm so underappreciated. Or maybe my delivery was bad.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:28 PM
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I wonder how the phrase "sentential dash" entered my mind.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:41 PM
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Semi-on-topic, I just got an e-mail from VP Biden urgin me to send a letter to my senators to thank them for their healthcare vote. F-bombs? Not a one. Total let down, Joe.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:48 PM
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I heard he doesn't really write those himself.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:49 PM
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57: The wool from mine eyes!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:50 PM
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58: Well, I heard he does write them himself, and the original version was filled with f-bombs, but then one of his fucking aides took them all out.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:53 PM
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59 was supposed to be addressed to 57.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:53 PM
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56: He's just glad he didn't have to break a tie.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:54 PM
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Fucking politicians.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 2:54 PM
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61: You think? I can imagine him having a ball voting "Fucking Aye!"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 3:03 PM
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Goddamn! Joe just emailed me, too. You mean we're not in an exclusive email relationship? The two^H^H^H300,000-timing bastard!


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 3:22 PM
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55: My first scan of that comment read it as about hyperspace and a sentient dash. I believe sentient punctuation is in the works for HTML 6, but hyperspace is just a cheap sci-fi shortcut.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 3:42 PM
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I got LB's jokes, but I don't get the title of the OP. Did I miss something in another thread or do I need Standpipe?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 3:55 PM
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Filthy-minded person that I am, I assumed that it referred to all the time Powell spent on his back, getting fucked by Bush and Cheney. It isn't literal; of course it is more likely that Powell would have rugburn on his knees.

Someone is going to explain the much more obvious joke, and then I'll be embarrassed.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 3:59 PM
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I need Standpipe as well -- I've been vaguely reaching for some adage about missed opportunity (like, to say something when there would have been a point to it), but I don't actually know of one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:04 PM
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An opportunity wasted is gone forever, but an opportunity lost is in your couch.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:12 PM
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Or wait, did you mean something that makes sense?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:12 PM
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If Standpipe doesn't visit today, I bet Ben could tell us the meaning.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:15 PM
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Kairos. (I had no clue and had to search it out.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:16 PM
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Post title pasted into search engine reveals wikipedia article. I haven't read it, don't get the post title, and have to go now, so you'll have to do the work yourselves.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:17 PM
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It appears that my explanation was on the wrong track.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:20 PM
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74: Oh, I don't know. Here's the answer:

Because none whom I have once raced by on my winged feet will now, though he wishes it sore, take hold of me from behind.

Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:25 PM
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Dammit, teo, I was just about to post that.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:26 PM
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Ben's a disgusting pervert.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:27 PM
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teo is good at seizing forelocks, apparently, while I tried and failed to take the moment from behind.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:27 PM
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...laydeez.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 4:28 PM
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79 to the post title.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 5:26 PM
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Yes, if I met a woman who had the back of her head shaved I would certainly be inclined to ask why.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 5:32 PM
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The title is a reference to the untimeliness of Wilkerson's action.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 5:33 PM
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It could be hot.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 5:33 PM
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83: Indeed.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 5:33 PM
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So, speaking of laydeez (and in an attempt to draw people away from the other thread), I've been spending more time on OkCupid lately, which has been kind of annoying because I'm close enough to NYC that the site comes up with all these women there who seem totally awesome, but not close enough that it's really reasonable for me to date someone who lives there.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:00 PM
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not close enough that it's really reasonable for me to date someone who lives there

Color me offended.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:02 PM
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Well, not reasonable for me, anyway. Obviously some people find it reasonable.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:03 PM
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And beginning to date someone at a distance is a different sort of issue from having one's local significant other move away and continuing to date them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:04 PM
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87: I was just funnin'. Obviously, for me it was an established nearby thing that transitioned into a distance thing, and you're looking for establishing the thing, which is different.

[On preview I'm more or less pwned. Whatevs!]


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:06 PM
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Let's see: do you want advice? Get out more locally? Certainly the university has some sort of organizations doing stuff you're interested in. I'm thinking of the Jeff Society at UVA (debating club that has a weekly speaker and drinks) or something. Intramural sports?

Regardless, I'd be going through the local hub of younger single people, which is almost certainly the university.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:09 PM
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I think the bigger frustration is that it seems very unlikely that any of the awesome girls in Brooklyn is going to be interested in dating someone this far away. Not that I'm necessarily looking to date at all, actually, but it's frustrating nonetheless.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:09 PM
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I don't have anything helpful to say, teo, but I sympathize. OKC is always telling me about perfectly terrific people who live nowhere near me. I don't even have the consolation, as with a paid site, of thinking that they're probably false profiles. Bah.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:09 PM
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You can't set a geographical range on OKCupid?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:09 PM
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You can't set a geographical range on OKCupid?

The smallest range you can set is fairly large.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:10 PM
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Yeah, there's no shortage of young people and opportunities to meet them around here (Rutgers is huge). If I really wanted to put in the effort I'm sure I could meet some new people, but I'm not sure I really care enough to do that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:10 PM
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So, do we have do get teo laid every single time, like, forever? I thought it was just once.

(I keed, I keed.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:10 PM
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The smallest range you can set is fairly large.

25 miles, specifically, which in New Jersey is ridiculously large.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:11 PM
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...laydeez!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:12 PM
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85: Srsly, it keeps telling me about women in Brooklyn who seem awesome. Though one postdoc I know moved to your town and found a girlfriend in Manhattan within weeks. Some people love to commute, I guess.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:12 PM
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Kobe doesn't understand.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:13 PM
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You know, teo, as long as you were willing to only go on dates in Manhattan, I bet some of those Brooklyn women would find your geographic distance during the non-date interludes appealing, or at least neutral.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:13 PM
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Teo's just doing his part to provoke the blog's best thinking, Stanley. Obviously you don't remember the long, nostalgic threads of yore, in whcih Unfoggetarians waxed rhapsodic over their college ongoing dating failures.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:13 PM
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96: I'm mostly just bringing this up because people seem to like the "get teo laid!" threads, and anything is better than watching people argue with bob about the laws of God and man.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:14 PM
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All proposed dates should take place in Staten Island. This will ensure their being proposed dates.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:15 PM
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103: So, you're getting married first?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:15 PM
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I'm confused. I thought you were wandering around in the desert somewhere out west?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:15 PM
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laws of God and man

Don't forget Yale.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:16 PM
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So, do we have do get teo laid every single time, like, forever?

No, now it's my turn.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:16 PM
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I'm not sure if 104 pwned 105 or not.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:16 PM
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Witt understands.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:16 PM
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I thought you were wandering around in the desert somewhere out west?

I was. I no longer am.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:17 PM
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Why is nosflow calling dibs on getting teo laid?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:17 PM
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I misread Witt as saying "perfectly terrible people who live nowhere near me" and thought "what's wrong with that?"


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:18 PM
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I like the "get teo laid" threads! I was joshing teo out of the universal holy code of law of the blog, while simultaneously offering some maybe helpful advice!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:18 PM
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Regardless, I'd be going through the local hub of younger single people, which is almost certainly the university Church.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:21 PM
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115: Not 'round here it ain't.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:21 PM
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Ha. I like perfectly terrible people, essear, at least for some definition of "terrible." At an old job I used to say that I got along best with the applicants who didn't pretend to like me, which oddly enough was entirely true.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:22 PM
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Swim club?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:22 PM
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Regardless, I'd be going through the local hub of younger single people, which is almost certainly the university Church State.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:22 PM
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118: Thanks, I don't.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:23 PM
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What about that nice girl that you set up the conference with, all those years ago, Teo? Maybe you could email her.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:23 PM
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119: Oppressor!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:23 PM
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121: You know, I have thought about that. She lives kind of far away, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:24 PM
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Maybe we should be helping neb, for whom this seems to be a more pressing concern than it is for me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:25 PM
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120: you don't swim club? Is that some kind of aquatic combat skill?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:25 PM
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I've always liked Armsmasher's long-past suggestion that teo seek a day-a-week shift as a barista or some such similar deal-with-the-public position in a cool place (record store {okay, not record store for you but for someone else similarly situated}, bar, restaurant, local bookshop, etc.).


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:26 PM
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I don't even know why we're debating this, when obviously the solution is for teo to start wearing his ranger hat everywhere. Maybe he could pose for a few PSA posters, too. [Why can't I think of the right name for those things?]


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:26 PM
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126: Hm, you know, I hadn't thought about that suggestion in a long time, but it might be a good idea these days, since I have a lot of time on my hands but don't get out socially much. I'll consider it.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:27 PM
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Smokey the Teo says only you.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:27 PM
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127: I'm assuming the OK Cupid profile photo has the hat already.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:27 PM
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(record store {okay, not record store for you but for someone else similarly situated}, bar, restaurant, local bookshop, etc.) THE STATE


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:27 PM
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OKC is always telling me about perfectly terrific people who live nowhere near me.

A friend in Cambridge completely randomly started corresponding over OKC with a woman in San Francisco. She ended up flying into Boston to visit people in Maine, so they met up. Hit it off. He visited SF. He moved there the next year.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:27 PM
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I don't even know why we're debating this, when obviously the solution is for teo to start wearing his ranger hat everywhere.

Unfortunately I didn't bring it with me. It's still at my mom's house.

I had a picture of me in uniform as my Facebook profile picture for a long time, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:28 PM
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Teo needs to get laid. Neb needs to get laid. Surely a solution can be found somehow.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:28 PM
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126: the local Aviary, perhaps.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:29 PM
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132: Argh. I did that once (not coast-to-coast). It worked great. I don't want to do it again, though.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:29 PM
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I also have a couple of OKC pictures with the hat.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:29 PM
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135 cont'd: or some kind of diner-y breakfast joint.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:29 PM
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I still haven't found, or even started looking, for a place to stay in SF (starting 3 weeks from now). OK Cupid is probably not the most efficient place to look.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:29 PM
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Sifu says I have to finish the story in 132.

... And then, he got a visiting assistant professorship in a small town in Virginia. So he moved back east and they broke up. The end.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:30 PM
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But for a moment! They were happy together! And had sex!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:31 PM
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And the moral is: don't even try, because you'll get an academic job and then you'll have to date the local ren faire polyamorists.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:31 PM
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Wait, that's what I need to do to get an academic job? Awesome! Who's available on the west coast?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:32 PM
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I did apply for a summer job as a ranger at a wildlife refuge in Cape May. I'm kind of hugely overqualified for it, so I doubt I'll actually do it even if I get it, but it's something.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:33 PM
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143: nosflow!


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:33 PM
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A friend in Cambridge completely randomly started corresponding over OKC with a woman in San Francisco.

My username could be construed as a gendered (in the sense of indicating the gender its referent, as do those nouns ending in -eur or -euse) French noun and is relevant to my interests; I recently checked to see if there existed a username for the female equivalent. There does! She lives in Brooklyn, and has, however, not filled out her profile at all.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:33 PM
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Who's available on the west coast?

neb, for one.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:33 PM
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visiting assistant professorship

Damn, that doesn't even sound like tenure-track.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:34 PM
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148: They typically are not, no. One-year term positions.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:34 PM
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She lives in Brooklyn, and has, however, not filled out her profile at all.

Your exact opposite! Romcom waiting to happen.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:35 PM
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Actually, my username could only be so construed by someone who was a bad speller of French.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:36 PM
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146: But she did take a test that says she's a capitalist pig. She'll be the type who lists Atlas Shrugged as a favorite book.

(As far as I can tell, this type constitutes 78% of all literate OkCupid users.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:36 PM
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The work-a-shift-somewhere-cool-and-local thing could work for neb, too. There's a bar in town that's all precious about how drinks like Old Fashioneds are made. Surely, neb's locale has, like, ten such bars.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:37 PM
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Now I'm trying to remember why I know neb's OkCupid username.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:37 PM
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Plus: income!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:37 PM
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Yeah, essear, wtf?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:37 PM
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92: Wait, I thought OKCupid was chiefly for people under 28, or 26, or something.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:38 PM
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Plus: income!

This is definitely a consideration for me. Kind of a much bigger one than getting laid, actually.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:38 PM
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153: yes, except the bartenders are absurdly professionalized.


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:39 PM
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Atlas

At the Christian campus where I am currently at a conference, there is a statue of Atlas holding a globe, except he also has a thorny crown.

This place is totally, completely bizarre, by the way. We're out in the middle of nowhere, and this campus is the wealthiest looking thing I've ever scene. Every building has airport proportions and big sweeping expanses and beautiful wood and glass ceilings and open atriums and on and on. Serious money being dumped into this place.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:39 PM
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157: Nah, lots of people of a wide variety of ages use it.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:39 PM
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Nosfleur seeks nosfleuse for nasalage, nostrilee. No neti pot need apply.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:40 PM
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160.1: Are you sure that it isn't Jesus after some serious training?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:41 PM
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160: But has the town reestablished itself as the home of the world's largest pecan yet? Surely that should take precedence over statues of Atlas Saves.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:41 PM
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160.1: Are you sure that it isn't Jesus after some serious training?

Well, presumably yes, but is he known for carrying the world on his back?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:42 PM
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157: It pretty much is, around here. Maybe that's why the algorithm keeps giving me guys in NY. Age trumps locale?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:43 PM
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But has the town reestablished itself as the home of the world's largest pecan yet?

No, no, I am nowhere near that impoverished town. This place would have golden pecans.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:43 PM
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165: and then I only saw one planet-sized crater in the sand...


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:44 PM
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You could just consider a younger man, Witt.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:45 PM
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Actually they did have that thing recently basically arguing that men should go for older women.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:45 PM
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165: That isn't the common way to portray it, but in most denominations, confused metaphorical art isn't a sin.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:46 PM
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Four years either way is pretty much my comfort zone,* neb. I'm more or less indifferent to which way.

*This does not stop men in their sixties from hitting on me. [emoticon deleted]


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:47 PM
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Huh. I'm so bad at this OkCupid thing. Just noticed in my inbox there that I sent a message to someone back in June, she sent a friendly reply, and I never wrote back and now her account is deleted. Why didn't I respond again? Silly self.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:48 PM
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I assume it was a :(.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:49 PM
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170: You're talking about the MILF craze?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:49 PM
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174: Even a mention is too much. Redact! Redact!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:51 PM
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172: Not that I'm 60, but I always hit on women in bookstores. You get better recommendations when people are trying to get away from you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:51 PM
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No, no, I am nowhere near that impoverished town.

Oh. Duh. I totally skipped the part of your comment that said "currently at a conference".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:51 PM
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Presumably neb is referring to this, which I have not read.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:52 PM
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HMM:

OkTrends is looking for a full-time blog analyst and a couple summer interns. These people would help us make more posts just like this one. The positions are in New York City. The internship is paid. The permanent position is not. Just kidding, it's paid, too. For both jobs, the ideal applicant:


* is a quick learner, and clever


* has an intense interest in data, particularly in data visualization


* isn't intimidated by sprawling, complex problems


All applicants must know: Python, SQL, subversion (or any version control), and some college-level statistics. Writing skills and a rigorous math background are big plusses.

I bet I could fake college-level stats.

Anyway, I was talking about this.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:53 PM
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which I have not read.

Cougarphobe Ageist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:53 PM
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Teo's powers of presumption are impressive!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:55 PM
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They're looking for subversives?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:55 PM
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No matter what he's telling himself on his setting page, a 30 year-old man spends as much time messaging 18 and 19 year-olds as he does women his own age. On the other hand, women only a few years older are largely neglected.

Almost as if their expressed minimum age preference is not a reflection of their actual feelings, but a signaling strategy to try to demonstrate that they are not like those other guys who chase 18 and 19 year olds.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:58 PM
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I'm surprised someone signed up for OkCuPid as "Mineshaftienne".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 9:58 PM
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172: Four years either way is pretty much my comfort zone

I think I've learned this lesson as well.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:01 PM
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172, 186: That's what I thought, but a bunch of people kept shouting "Four More Years."


Posted by: B. Obama | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:04 PM
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Okay, I just read that post. It's interesting.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:04 PM
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Most of their posts are interesting. They have such a juicy dataset. (Unfortunately, a search for 'juicy dataset' on their site turns up only one woman using those two words, and not consecutively.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:06 PM
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Did you search for "Juicy Dataset" in the username field?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:07 PM
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Holy smokes, some 68-year-old guy on OKC just messaged me. I blame you guys!

Wait, IS it you guys? I would be so relieved.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:17 PM
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It sure wasn't me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:19 PM
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Maybe you need a cross-over between Juicy Dataset and Juicy Couture. But that would probably just lead to leering remarks about the areas under curves.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:24 PM
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It just seems like being an older (over 35, say) person on OKC is asking for being trolled by people looking either for younger flesh or for older flesh. If that makes sense.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 10:28 PM
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Hey Teo. The way I got through (second) grad school was to take field jobs every summer. It took a summer of manual labor to make me ready to go back to a desk in the fall. You might consider the wildlife refuge job as a way to refresh yourself.

(For field work, I found it had a six week cycle. Two weeks where it is SO AWESOME, as you find all your sites and learn your equipment. Two weeks where is it great, cruising along in a routine in the outdoors. The last two weeks are crushingly boring, because manual labor isn't all that interesting after all. When it gets to the point where you never want to clean out your buckets again, school starts.

Yes, I had short summers. Because the law school was on semesters (starts mid-August) and the grad school was on quarters (ends mid-June). Yes, I had five finals periods a year, although the winter one mostly overlapped.)


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 9-10 11:53 PM
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Thanks, Megan. For me, though, at this point a desk job sounds fantastic. The wildlife refuge thing is really a last resort; for one thing, I'm not really sure how I would get there (I guess I'd have to borrow a car from someone). Applying for it was kind of silly, especially since I'd already decided not to apply for any Park Service jobs that were more consistent with my background when they were being advertised a month or so ago.

I'd prefer to just get an hourly research job at my school, and I think I have a pretty good shot at that. People seem to be starting to figure out their hiring needs for the summer. Most of my classmates are applying for internships and stuff, and I've applied for some too, but I really don't care about getting some fancy internship. I mostly just need money and something to do, and I'd prefer to stay where I am.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 12:04 AM
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I'm sure you'll find something perfect for you. I needed something drastic to make me willing to walk back into school again in the Fall.

Also, go to bed, hon.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 12:07 AM
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but is he known for carrying the world on his back?

Traditionally, He is known for carrying the world in his hands.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 8:21 AM
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When I was on OKCupid, I just got stupid idiots and quizes to fill out, but I didn't put up much of a profile.

And, this sounds really lame, but is there a kind of non-dating, looking to make more friends version of the dating sites available? My days are so booked, and I commute so much that I'd love to find a short-cut to meeting new people, but I'm not looking for a new relationship.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:01 AM
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Romantic one that is.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:01 AM
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And, this sounds really lame, but is there a kind of non-dating, looking to make more friends version of the dating sites available?

You can specify that on your profile. I think all the sites let you do it.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:35 AM
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Your program doesn't require an internship?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 10:38 AM
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No, it doesn't. The public policy program in the same school does, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 10:47 AM
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191: I'm probably the only one here that old and it wasn't me, but I'll confess if it will make you happier.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 7:45 PM
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I'll confess if it will make you happier

It would certainly make me less creeped out. I ended up blocking him without replying and without clicking on his profile. The picture was the thing that just barely made me wonder if it was a joke -- it almost looked like a stock photo.

On a happier note, tonight I bought this book and am happily contemplating its educational uses.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:48 PM
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"Tachen"? Honestly, Amazon.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:49 PM
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You'd like this book; neb; there are a lot of umlauts.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 04-10-10 9:54 PM
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207: There's a little Taschen store near us. It's an evil and constant temptation to pick up "1000 Plumbing Tools" or "100 Shadow Puppet Artists", etc.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 04-11-10 10:20 AM
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