Everyone wanted to run over and plunge their hands .... Huh. I would not have guessed that.
he wants to say "You were just doing what everyone was dying to do"
Awesome. Even as a toddler Heebie was always right.
That must have been embarrassing for her though.
This is the best thing I've seen all day.
Yes, that's the life I live.
Ah, so that's why they called you Little Miss Mix-A-Lot.
You were just a small child who loved handfuls of ass. Nothing wrong with that.
I LOLed! I literally LOLed! This is the best thing I've read in the two hours I've been awake!
9: That's why Knecht is no longer welcome in most of the supermarkets in his area.
Heebie left out the part of the story where, upon reaching Adelle, she would holler "baby got back! baby got back!!!"
10: That's what Knecht wants you to believe, anyhow.
Winning caption for the OP: Christ, what an asshole.
||
At 10 am, I was in court for a conference on a maddening, maddening employment case with a pro se plaintiff that's been dragging on for years; she doesn't respond to discovery, she doesn't show up for conferences, it's awful. She didn't show up today, and the judge said "Considering all the prior warnings I've given her, if she shows up in the next hour, I'll call you to come back to court. Otherwise, her case is dismissed."
It is now 11:05, and I am a very, very happy camper.
|>
I feel like this post is being neglected.
The judge just did what everyone was dying to do.
My parents are physically restraining me from commenting on this post more often.
What is it that you long to do to this post?
Heebie, were you a fan of unusually big asses generally? Or was it just Adelle?
I think it might have just been Adelle. I think I was really fascinated with hers in particular. As I grew up, I settled into mundane opinions about asses.
mundane opinions about asses
"They seem helpful for such practices as sitting."
In fact, I'm using mine for sitting as I write this.
14 is great.
Um, in the butt.
If we're trying to be topical.
I guess LB's client got her ass handed to her by the judge, huh?
People of the world, free yourselves from mundane opinions about asses! Unleash your inner toddler-heebie-geebies!
28: Just don't do it in a grocery store you'd like to visit again.
Just to confirm, heebie, you never engaged in this behavior in aisle 9 of the grocery store, right? Because that would be asinine.
Big butts drive toddlers nuts. When the girls were two, we saw a woman get out of her car and then lean back in to get something from the front seat, exposing her vast backside clad in spandex. Siobhán excitedly exclaimed, "Daddy! She has a biiiig bottom!" No grabbing handfuls of ass, but still embarrassing.
I'm posting on this thread because I think it is the one that would most benefit from the attention.
Um, in the butt. If we're trying to be topical.
ON THE BUTT IS TOPICAL. IN THE BUTT IS RECTAL.
Jesus! Heebie has a biiiig post!"
Are you still in touch with Adelle, heebie? Do you have her phone number perhaps?
35: Are you still in touch with Adelle
IYKWIMAITYD.
(Also, Mexicans like big butts, pass it on.)
Heebie has a biiiig post!
It only looks big now that Labs isn't around.
One time I noticed Heebie's biiiig post in a supermarket and I commented on it right there.
Siobhán excitedly exclaimed, "Daddy! She has a biiiig bottom!"
Teachable moment! Did you explain to her that the polite term to use was "lovely lady lumps", and that women such as the one observed make the rockin' world go round?
Labs isn't around.
Someone finally squared the circle!
Do you think this post has gotten enough attention now, heebs? I'm really scraping the bottom (heh) of the barrel in terms of coming up with jokes here.
41: No one can call your efforts half-assed, I'll give you that much.
I feel like this blog is being neglected.
44: You're saying you think it's hit bottom?
The main-page posters are a bunch of bums.
Don't know where everyone's gone. I guess we're the rump party.
Actually, I think this blog is fundamentally sound.
Something I hate: misused colons.
Anyway, we mustn't let the perfect be the enema of the good.
48: I had a haunch you were going to beat me to that joke.
Something I hate: misused colons.
Yeah, some people have really rectum.
Is this what you wanted, heebie? In the end, is this what you really wanted?
I'm pretty sure this is something heebie could get behind.
I notice she's a bit tushy at times.
It tuchus forever to get this thread going.
56: And there's no end in sight!
Q: Who's the best at hiding chocolate eggs?
A: The Keister bunny!
I was going to crack wise, but...
Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
I was a teenaged babysitter for a little girl in the neighborhood. One day we were sitting around, her parents and me, with the girl on my lap, and she starts batting at my chest (she's like three at this point), saying, "What ARE these?" I didn't know what to say, and looked to her mom. "Those are breasts, honey," says the mom. The girl grabs one and says, "They're BEAUTIFUL. Mommy, why don't you have any of these?" I was 14. It was awkward.
This thread reminds me I've been meaning to plant my seat on a comfy bar stool next to my brother and play catch-up. Yeah, he and I are hiney kin.
59: My two little ones are endlessly amused by the disappearing quarter that I then pull out of their ear. Sometimes I "pull it" out of their butts for added hilarity. So this morning, Roberta and I are half-awake in bed, working up the energy to start the morning routine, while Noah and Cassidy are playing down at the foot of the bed. And I hear Noah announce with pride: "TAA-DAA! THAT WAS IN YOUR BUTT! I PUT THAT IN YOUR BUTT! JUST LIKE DAD DOES!"
65: Agreed. It makes the whole post eerier.
The worst part is, I have never had big tits, and especially not at 14. I barely had a chest. Sigh.
64: And it's not like you can tell them not to talk about it, because then for sure you'll be somewhere in public and one of them will blurt out, "Daddy told me not to tell you about what he puts in my butt."
67: Man, somebody doesn't know how to take a compliment.
ON THE BUTT IS TOPICAL. IN THE BUTT IS RECTAL.
AROUND THE BUTT IS ORBUTTAL.
69: That's what my therapist says too! (when she says i have great tits, natch)
If I said you had a great rack, would you hold it against me pay me $175/hour?
Would you pay $175 an hour to get things off your chest?
The first drummer in my band wanted to perform a medley of songs about big butts. Baby Got Back, Big Bottoms, Fat Bottomed Girls, Shake Ya Ass. I assented on the condition that they be performed as some kind of overlapping fugue.
We spent an afternoon working it up, but never quite brought it off.
Would you pay $175 an hour to get things off your chest?
Would it be OK if I paid you in chickens?
I got cognitive whiplash reading My two little ones... as being in reference to 62, the start of a sympathetic tale of boobies. Then the titties start talking and having ears and stuff and I just want to cry.
the start of a sympathetic tale of boobies.
Apo was talking about his testes. Clearly.
the start of a sympathetic tale of boobies.
"It was the best of racks, it was the worst of racks. . . "
Wow, 77 made me laugh inappropriately for having a students in my office and it being office hours.
80: You have to be careful around the little ones.
I can't approve of this. What a place to work when it's 10 below.
82: They'll probably freeze their asses off.
I am still tempted to do this. Ah, to be a little kid, where the sex offender registry is just another adult issue you don't have to worry about.
From the article:
"The theme is nothing new to the northwestern United States. Dozens of coffee shops featuring girls in skimpy outfits have made names for themselves in places like Washington and Oregon."
While I disapprove of the business model, I'm very curious as to what silly cheesey names besides "Ooh La Latte" different proprietors have come up with.
82: I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before the Chilean coffee chain Café Haití, where the baristas are all scantily clad twentysomething chilenas. The locals jokingly call it "café con piernas" (coffee with legs), and it's frequented universally by male clientele. It's jaw-dropping to an outsider, even one who's seen the idiocy of Hooters. And allegedly the coffee's not even particularly good.
No, PGD, I'm pretty sure you can work there without registering, especially considering our new non-discrimination ordinance. I'm not sure they have anything your size, but I'm sure they'll want to avoid a suit.
And allegedly the coffee's not even particularly good.
Why waste money on quality coffee? That's not what's bringing in the punters.
So, among Chileans does Haiti have a reputation for sexy women or something?
Cups
Va Va Venti
Exxxpresso
Sexpot
Perky
Java Voom!
88: Not as far as I know, and I was just sitting here pondering the name. I bet Haiti's doing the heavy-lifting for some combination of foreign and exotic, with the comcomitant notion that this is a place that's different, so things that are normally transgressions (like ogling the laydeez) are allowed here.
Fresh and Hot
Unfiltered
Grounds for Divorce
If it were in Ohio? The Cleveland Steamer.
Those are much better names than the ones in the article for various other places.
Much less exciting. Except for this: "In September 2009, five baristas at a Grab 'n Go in Everett, Washington were charged with prostitution after police surveillance caught them stripping for cash."
Dunkin' Deeznuts
Chock Full O' Butts
Teet's
Dunkin' Deeznuts winz. Holy cow.
To go in the other direction, it'd be funny to refer to a quickie as a "breve".
To go in the other direction, it'd be funny to refer to a quickie as a "breve".
A good breve makes me quaver, but if it's too short I just get crotchety.
The semidemiquaver isn't listed on the board, but they'll make you one.
The semidemiquaver isn't listed on the board, but they'll make you one.
One needs advanced flutter- or double-tonguing technique to pull it off.