I've had vivid break-ups in: November, September, and Valentine's day. Other relationships sort of fizzled out, sometimes because of moving away, without a single clear break-up conversation that I can hang my hat on.
I share office space with a divorce lawyer, and he gets a bump after the holidays. An older demographic than Facebook, I suppose.
In other news, this.
"Kelli Imdieke, 24, believes things will turn upward, though lately she's begun to have doubts about the long term."
I'm telling you what, sister, the long term is a killer.
I blame the gender asymmetry in advertising for sexual arousal aids (via Digby). Actually, this really is one of those, "you are *so* busted" moments for mainstream culture.
Just think how many opportunities you'll have to be kind to one another with all the lonely, newly-ex'd folks wandering about in search of holiday comfort. What better way to celebrate the Nativity than with a desperate rebound fling?
In other Christmas news, I'm listening to Pink Martini's new holiday album, not exactly voluntarily.
6.2: The deputies work there, so they get to pick the music.
Unrelatedly, I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that, buoyed up by your encouragement and belief in me, I purchased Loctite Rear View Mirror Bonder, and this morning I restuck my rear view mirror. Have driven 50-odd miles today being able to see what was behind me, and with no wobble at all. Your turn heebie ...
If you have any left over, you can glue an empty tin can to the window of your neighbor's car.
9: A tin can full of caterpillars? So, so cruel.
Your turn heebie
I drove all the way to work with the music on loud!
I don't get the caterpillar thing.
The piece linked in 13 is interesting.
#5, that Digby post didn't ring true to me. There are TV ads all over the place for that Trojan-branded "warming gel", with the entire premise being "Boring woman describes her enhanced sexual experience, culminating in a ridiculous visual metaphor".
There is no visual metaphor more ridiculous than Mike Ditka throwing a football through a tire swing.
8: Hooray! I realize I get way to worked up over broken things and unreasonably excited over fixing things, but fuck it. Hooray!
16: There is no commercial more creepy than the "This is Bob" series of ads. (It doesn't help that the actor looks like the father in Twin Peaks.) I'm not quite sure how they haven't been sued for false advertising.
I'm not quite sure how they haven't been sued for false advertising.
Because nobody wants to be plaintiff in "Gullible man with a small penis vs. Enzyte."
I'm not quite sure how they haven't been sued for false advertising.
I'm somewhat mystified by this as well.
I haven't actually seen one of those commercials for years, but do they actually say anything, or is it all jokey nudge-nudge wink-wink? I figure they'd be in trouble for false advertising if they said "This supplement will make your penis larger", but that's not how I recall the ads.
Really, after "Head-On," I think you can get away with almost anything that doesn't specifically claim to be a treatment or cure.
Apply directly to the forehead.
But, why? Why would you apply it to the forehead?
Who doesn't want to add three and a half inches of rock-hard, throbbing forehead?
Wait, which is the "This is Bob" series of ads? Is that where Bob is going about his daily affairs, and in one ad he stops in front of a plate glass window and looks at his reflection and thinks, "It's about time I just go ahead and see my doctor, because this is silly"?
I'm not sure I've seen any erectile dysfunction ads that seem prone to false advertising claims; aren't they all full of disclaimers and hedging remarks about how you should discuss this with your doctor? N.B. I don't watch football games, so I have no idea what ads are shown there.
28: No, This Is Bob. It isn't an erectile dysfunction med, it's pills that supposedly make your johnson bigger.
28: No, they're these goofy ads for an 'herbal supplement' rather than a drug: 'Bob' is wandering around grinning like an idiot as the narrator says "Bob used to feel inadequate. Since he's been taking [whatever], he feels awesome, and intimidates other men." and stuff along those lines.
Stay tuned for my forthcoming documentary film about the Tea Party: Dick Armey: Marching Against Electile Dysfunction.
What about "Make your jimmy thicker with St. Ides Malt Liquor"?
The Bob thing (he has some other name, Ordinary Bob? Smiling Bob?) is a local company and I know they've been sued but also am pretty sure they kept running the ads throughout, which made no sense to me. I know my partner used it as an example in one or her classes....
The Bob thing (he has some other name, Ordinary Bob? Smiling Bob?) is a local company and I know they've been sued but also am pretty sure they kept running the ads throughout, which made no sense to me. I know my partner used it as an example in one or her classes....
29, 30: Snort. Okay. And these are on TV?!
Per the link in 5, I'm imagining a symmetrical ad for women: Janette used to feel inadequate. Now that she's taking [whatever], she's wetter than a ... hounddog's tongue.
Uh. I don't think they would run that.
Sorry for the double post. It's Smiling Bob and I suppose they were just sued for making it difficult for people to cancel their "subscriptions" rather than for their creepy ads.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smiling_Bob
And these are on TV?!
Constantly.
The things you learn about hounddogs on the internet...
38: Huh. I don't watch those TV programs. That's not intended to be snide; I just really haven't seen those.
So men are worried about their masculinity, defined in a particular way, lately. What's up with that? Maybe the viewership for television is changing.
lately
I don't think it's a new development so much as broadcast standards have changed.
From the link in #37:
"His 75-year-old mother ... was sentenced to two years in prison but released on bond pending appeal after turning over her house, bank accounts and other assets related to her crimes."
Dude. That's so harsh.
At the top of my WTF list these days is an ad currently running on The Weather Channel for a magical ionized metal bracelet which is supposed to make you stronger and more energetic. At least the penis enhancement industry feels obligated to lie about the science behind their product. The bracelet is just that, a bracelet. But it makes you feel better! Surely, the day isn't too far away when shrunken heads are selling on CNN.
Different than these?
Many people active in sports have asked for a light weight magnetic bracelet that would not affect their playing performance. The most vocal have been golfers, who suggest the heavy stainless magnetic bracelets can adversely affect their swing. Now with titanium they can have a magnetic bracelet at a fraction of the normal weight of stainless steel, still enjoy the benefits of magnetics and have a piece of titanium jewelry that will last for years. Any one of our signature series titanium magnetic bracelets make an indispensable addition to your golf or sports equipment.
43: Years ago I was an intern participating in a patent litigation and one of the patent attorneys wore what appeared to be a magical ionizing bracelet. I would lose all trust in someone who is supposed to know about science wearing an ionizing bracelet.
Why have I not seen these Bob ads? I watch a lot of TV. Maybe I just always fast-forward through them.
I feel like I'm seeing fewer of the mysterious "Ask your doctor about X" commercials that don't actually explain what X is supposed to help with. Was there some legal reason why those seemed to be really popular a few years back?
I've seen the Bob ads hundreds of times. Sometimes ten times a day. Now that I think about it, it's always in shows that air at least 9 PM or later.
45: Titanium is not magnetic. Their science, I question it.
31 My sophomore year roommate was Japanese. His English (and French) was very good, but he did have an accent and got worse with stress. One day he had to give a presentation in a class on the US electoral system, and problems thereof. As he started off on his segment on 'the problems with American elections' he heard tittering throughout the room and quickly realized what had happened. He ad libbed furiously for maximum effect for the rest of the talk.
47.2: I thought that was fairly standard phrasing - it's the closest thing they can legally say to "buy X." It doesn't, I believe, absolve them from having to discuss side effects.
WE PRAY FOR MACARTHUR'S ERECTION
The phrasing is standard, yes. But there are/were the ones that say, you know, something along the lines of "suffering from Y? Ask your doctor about X." And then there are the ones that show videos of puppies and flowers and rainbows and say "ask your doctor about X", without saying what ailment you might have that would make you want X.
I feel like I'm seeing fewer of the mysterious "Ask your doctor about X" commercials that don't actually explain what X is supposed to help with.
Yeah, I think they had to cover their asses legally. Now you get these rather horrifying ads for Lunesta (a sleep aid) that go on and on and on: may cause you to sleep-walk, including driving a car thus, and not remember the next day! may cause complete fucked-upedness! seizures, suicidal ideation, migraines, stomach bleeding, swollen tongue or throat, drymouth, stiff joints ....
At least they're honest.
I think part of the "Ask your doctor about X" stuff was because they didn't used to be able to advertise prescription medicine. So, instead of saying having people wander into the grocery store to buy X, they told them they needed a connection at the clinic.
Yeah. IIRC, at some point there were commercials that explained that Nexium is a purple pill but didn't say that it treats acid reflux.
56: I don't know, but Nexium is just tarted-up Prilosec. The controversy isn't that is doesn't work, but that they cheated to extend patent protection on Prilosec by doing the molecular equivalent of changing the phrasing of a Wikipedia article and calling it a term paper.
I forgot about the analogy ban. Oops.
57
I don't know, but Nexium is just tarted-up Prilosec. The controversy isn't that is doesn't work, but that they cheated to extend patent protection on Prilosec by doing the molecular equivalent of changing the phrasing of a Wikipedia article and calling it a term paper.
Prilosec is off patent. IIRC Prilosec is Nexium plus the mirror image molecule. Not sure why getting rid of the isomer wasn't obvious and therefore unpatentable. Personally I find Nexium to have fewer side effects but perhaps that is just my imagination. It does cost my medical plan a ridiculous amount of money.
Put me down as another vote in the never-having-seen-the-Bob-ads column. I watch broadcast television almost exclusively for football. I figured they'd have shown up there, what with all the all the other "Buy the New Ford KOMPENS8R Pickup Truck ROAR!" ads that show up.
That's 50 votes for "seen Bob," 49 votes for "not seen Bob," and 4,000 votes for Pat Buchanan.
60
Put me down as another vote in the never-having-seen-the-Bob-ads column. ...
I also don't recall ever seeing one.
You didn't punch the chad properly.
The only person I ever punched was named Chad.
I've seen the Bob ads a lot, but only on late-night TV.
Ask your doctor about X
if the commercial only mentions the name of the medication, but not what it's supposed to treat, they don't have to list all the side effects. If the commercial mentions the medication name together with what it treats, the commercial has to be a lot longer (to include all the possible side effects)
67: That seems like a pretty dumb rule, to tell you the truth. I'm not seeing the reasoning.
Ask your doctor about Camels (not quite, but almost and the college one at 3:20 is even better).