Suddenly, my neighbors to the north are really creeping me out.
Arson deaths, but I think I'm going to claim my Ohio roots since of all things it is: "nerdiest state claim based on highest number of library visits per capita (6.9)"! At some level, fuck you stretching-in-a-stupid-direction-for-the-joke blogger.
I live in the arson state, which might explain why PA is the only place I've ever lived where there are TV commercials reminding you that defrauding insurance companies is illegal.
2.last: Not you heebie, the original posting guy at the other blog.
Being pwned on the 3rd comment on the thread is an accomplishment, Mob-ster.
2: I saw that one and thought, "That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about OH."
Just yesterday I was in a conversation with some Ohio librarians who were explaining that there is a state wide library endowment (or something to that effect) that protects the libraries here to an extent that other state library systems are not protected. It shows too, there seem to be more libraries per capita than in other places I've lived, and they have fantastic facilities. I suspect they could have come up with something actually bad about Ohio if they had tried a bit harder.
Lowest teacher salaries, except that's highly misleading.
Also, VT, for infertility claim based on lowest birthrate, tied with Maine? Nice to know that's the best they could do.
That's the best they could come up with for Massachusetts? C'mon.
Suddenly, my neighbors to the north are really creeping me out.
"That has 'statistical clustering' written all over it."
12: Maybe so, but we should close the bridges just to be safe.
"But I think Columbus is not like Portland or Austin," he said."I think Columbus is like Florence, Italy, in the 1500s: We are essentially beginning a new renaissance."
Local artist, and community organizer Adam Brouillette as quoted in the Columbus Dispatch, Jan. 9 2011.
And to think I live here! Amazing!
Alcohol-related motorcycle deaths. Presumably some other state has more sober motorcycle deaths. We drive good when we're not drunk.
Or you could evaluate your state based on education levels, thanks to the The Chronicle of Higher Education.
Or you could evaluate your state based on education levels, thanks to the The Chronicle of Higher Education.
Drugs! Woo!
And, really, isn't this telling us that Utah is the *best* at porn?
It's telling us that Utah is *worst* at free porn.
Anybody still paying for porn in 2011 has more money than good sense.
Wow, just Daily Commute, huh? That's...Well, no, Nerdiest is probs the best. But still.
Also, for a moment I thought they were implying the highest number of sociopaths were in New Mexico, and I figured that was probably worth investigating. But nope, it's just closest to a Dickensian nightmare, or something. Debtors prison if you get sick, New Mexicans!
http://www.forbes.com/2010/10/13/best-states-for-business-business-beltway-best-states.html
Who's doing the best job when it comes to fostering growth? Utah, according to our fifth annual look at the Best States for Business.
"Utah: Fostering Growth, IN YOUR PANTS"
Ohio is pretty central to a lot of library and library-related stuff. Ever wondered which Dublin is the Dublin of "Dublin Core"?
Just yesterday I was in a conversation with some Ohio librarians who were explaining that there is a state wide library endowment (or something to that effect) that protects the libraries here to an extent that other state library systems are not protected.
That makes sense--they do seem to do pretty well. My old hometown (which I think may be yours from things Rob has mentioned here) in the relatively recent past physically upgraded all of its branches (although I have fond memories my replaced local branch which was in an old Tudor mansion).
26: Yeah, "Ohio College" mapped nicely into "Online Computer" when the time came.
an old Tudor mansion
They should really should have put more doors on it. A whole mansion with only two possible fire exits!
Hatchback mansions give you somewhere to dump the coal (that fuels the fires).
Back home in Deep Redstatia, we were 49th in so many state rankings, the joke went that we were going to change the state motto to "Thank God for Mississippi." At one point or another, my home state had the highest rate of obesity, the highest unemployment, and the highest rate of youth tobacco use. OTOH, we had (in those days, anyway) the shortest average commutes and the lowest incidence of violent crime. As my brother used to observe, the only way to get murdered in Deep Redstatia was to have a crazy husband or boyfriend, or to fuck someone who did.
When I read 11, I immediately thought: "Wow, did they dig up something lame and harmless about Mass instead of just saying that it's full of terrible drivers?
Then I looked up the Mass entry on the list...
34: It's between Maryland and Virginia. But I can understand why you'd be confused. When I was a little kid, I assumed DC had to be smack-dab in the middle of the country. I mean, it's the capital, right?
True story. And then I found five geography books.
did they dig up something lame and harmless about Mass instead of just saying that it's full of terrible drivers?
The thing is, this isn't even true. Massachusetts has a lot of insurance claims because the Commonwealth's insurance regulations encourage it. Specifically, the regulations limit the insurers' freedom to to price discriminate according to claims history, and they specify zero deductible for certain claims (i.e. cracked windshield).
I think I have mentioned this previously in the comments, but someone in the auto insurance industry assured me that there is little difference in per capita spending on collision repair between highly regulated and loosely regulated states. It's just that in the loosely regulated states, drivers opt to pay for all but the most catastrophic damage themselves so as not to have to file a claim that would trigger higher premiums.
Oregonians would spend a lot more per capita on collision repair if they didn't drive so fucking slowly.
34: Least effective Congressional delegation?
someone in the auto insurance industry assured me that there is little difference in per capita spending on collision repair between highly regulated and loosely regulated states. It's just that in the loosely regulated states, drivers opt to pay for all but the most catastrophic damage themselves so as not to have to file a claim that would trigger higher premiums
But... but.. but... moral hazard!! Incentives!!! If people pay out of pocket they have to drive more safely! It's axiomatic!
They had a hard time finding anything bad about Vermont... were is my babies?
32: Back home in Deep Redstatia, we were 49th in so many state rankings, the joke went that we were going to change the state motto to "Thank God for Mississippi."
Did you notice that they have special bonus section on Mississippi:
BONUS facts: Mississippi ranks last in the most number of categories. These include highest rate of child poverty (31.9 percent), highest rate of infant mortality (10.3 percent) lowest median household income ($35,078), highest teen birth rate (71.9 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19) and highest overall rate of STDs.
But... but.. but... moral hazard!! Incentives!!! If people pay out of pocket they have to drive more safely! It's axiomatic!
The comparison to the individual health insurance market is left as an exercise for the reader. (In fact, I think that may have been the context in which I related that same anecdote the first time, but google fails me.)
OT:
So, I know a question like this comes up every month or two, but what kind of salutation would you put on a cover email attaching your resume for a job opening. "Dear Ms. DecisionMaker" looks weird as anything on an email. "Ms DecisionMaker" is how I tend to start emails, but it looks too informal. Or no salutation at all?
36: I prefer the way people drive in MA. California drivers made me crazy because they either have their turn signal on all the time or not at all. They also drift into lanes, drive slowly in the fast lane and don't break in time. MA drivers are very aggressive but they pay attention to what they're doing because otherwise they would die.
don't break in time.
I BREAK YOU, BAD DRIVER.
Where'd they get their information? The little news-screen in the elevator told me just today that the two safest states for driving are Massachusetts and DC! I choose to believe the little news-screen in the elevator.
We can be the safest in terms of personal injury and still have a lot of (reported) accidents, especially if most of them are at low speeds.
I saw a cyclist get hit by (or hit, I couldn't tell) a car as I was walking to my car. He was down, got up slow, limped for a bit, and walked to the sidewalk. He stood there, much more calmly than I would expect, talking with two drivers, one of whom must have been driving the car he crashed into or that crashed into him.
49: and the drivers weren't screaming at him for getting in the way? Progress!
I didn't see the actual crash, but traffic moves at about 45 mph there. I don't know how he wasn't hurt.
MA drivers are very aggressive but they pay attention to what they're doing because otherwise they would die.
Funny, every state/area with bad drivers says the same thing.
You people suck. I started the email "Ms Decisionmaker --"
If I languish in my current job forever, I'm blaming this blog.
49: On Saturday night at a rock show, I saw the girl who "hit" me with her car last week. She bought me a beer and said she was really sorry (and really freaked out for the rest of the day). She also mentioned that she went home and got on FB only to realize that we weren't FB friends and that these were perhaps not the best circumstances for starting our FB friendship.
53: Maybe we were still researching the issue.
the girl who "hit" me with her car last week.
I take it by "hit" in this sentence you mean "hit"? Because, like, you had the right-of-way, dude. Shoulda took her for all she has.
53: I open all professional correspondence with "Greetings." Unless the recipient is someone with whom exchanges have become increasingly friendly (in which case it may become "Dear" or "Hi") or increasingly hostile (in which case there may be no salutation, unless I decide to be imperturbable and stick with "Greetings" no matter how much I'm being yelled at).
Hope that helps.
53: I can't make "Dear X" look right so I go with "Title X.". But, I don't feel good about it and have not made a study of the topic.
54: She wouldn't need to friend you. She could start a group called "Stanley and his malefactors."
I uniformly open with "Sir" or "Ma'am," unless i don't know who is receiving the correspondence. Then it is "Sir or Ma'am."
I kick it old school (like paying with exact change) and use "Dear Ms. X" in emails. Why not, in correspondence with someone you haven't met?
I saw the girl who "hit" me with her car last week. She bought me a beer and said she was really sorry (and really freaked out for the rest of the day). She also mentioned that she went home and got on FB only to realize that we weren't FB friends and that these were perhaps not the best circumstances for starting our FB friendship.
Meet cute! Keep this romcom going, Stanster.
My method is similar to TJ's. I use "Greetings:" or "Hello:" when I I am in doubt.
Come to think of it, doesn't Stanley's story describe a key plot element of Back to the Future? She has to fall in love with you now, McFly.
Have unless you are uncommonly good at mental math, always buy the exact same things, or never-but never-are at the head of a line, you are now my sworn enemy. Fucking exact change.
65 to 61 and "Have" should be "Bave"
I really want to go more formal and use "My Dear ~" instead of the less formal "Dear ~", but I believe that it will be seen as too intimate.
md20/400: i so want to change to "comrade"
Oooh, "Comrade" is good. "Citizen" wouldn't be bad either.
Right thread. (What, me anal?)
I do like using "Greetings" as it echoes the notices from the draft board.
Greatly honored lord/lady (title and/or degree if appropriate) name.
65/66 -- it was a reference to TFA. I think I've paid an odd sum with exact change maybe twice in my life.
Why not just start whatever you were writing to tell them? intros are for avoidng awkward silences
re: Ohio - my hometown also recently built a new library too.
Shoulda took her for all she has.
SRSLY. This story had better end with "and then I found five million dollars" or "and then I found five new girlfriends".
Concerning Lady Grey's question, I go with "Gentlepeople:" for ordinarily dreary bureaucratic correspondence, but I suppose I'd use something else if I were a job supplicant. Which I prefer not to be, so I suppose I don't have to think about it. Hope that helps.
Generally the kind of person who would decline to hire you because you started the email wrong isn't the kind of person you want to be working with anyway.