It's been, like, two whole days since our one-month anniversary. And we've reached the stage in our relationship in which Rory is offering dissertation advice.
How are people's dating lives going?
I would need to have a dating life to be able to answer this.
Anyone have a horror story or need a platform to complain?
Not only have I not got a dating life you have pushed my (admittedly trivial) post down!
Anyone have a dilemma that wants solved?
I really, really hope that your use of this idiom derives from time spent here; nothing—not even feminine attentions—could delight me more.
Feel free to happily note your one-month anniversary here, too.
Your first mensaversary?
Overfishing means our children's children won't know what the idiom alluded to in the post title means.
I really, really hope that your use of this idiom derives from time spent here; nothing--not even feminine attentions--could delight me more.
Consider yourself delighted.
I might be involved in a relationship, and I've been delighting in not telling the internet too much about it, while dropping hints. In Wisconsin.
Your first mensaversary?
The bf was complaining recently about the inappropriateness of using anniversary to refer to units of time less than a year. He has also ranted about misuse of the subjunctive and other grammatical abuses. From time to time, I wonder if I'm really dating nosflow and just don't know it.
Methods of dating lives are usually pretty straightforward, the most common one being using the birthdate.
Punctiliousness in language is the mark of a quality man.
10: I find that if you're doing serious work that method leads to results that are too open-ended to be of use.
I'm not dating anyone. Laydeez.
6: For one month and two days?
Nope. But Di Kotimy and I might hang out soon with our respective SOs. Speculate on.
Or maybe you meant "SOs, [which stands for] Speculate On."
||
Is it possible to sign on to facebook invisibly, as it were, so friends can't engage you in chat?
|>
19: You can turn chat off. I usually do.
Nothing to report here, although there are some possibilities that I should probably pursue, since I'm probably only going to be here for a few more months and may well be somewhere with much more limited prospects thereafter.
Yeah, I stay invisible on facebook, too. I used to get these chirpy messages from students. Why the hell do they think it's fun to make small talk with your professor?
The "Options" menu on the little chat thing in the bottom-right corner has an option to "go offline."
Shows you how little I know about using fb. But great, thanks.
17: It took me a few seconds to reassure myself that Stanley is, in fact, closer in age to me than to Rory. I'm pretty sure, anyway.
22: Weird. I can't really fathom doing that. But kids, lawn, whatever.
I thnk my attempts to not coquette at dances while my other half is out of town are giving the impression that I'm gay. As I don't think the gay women involved are getting that impression, and they're fine dancers, this is not likely to lead to comic misunderstandings, but it's all I have for the thread.
Responsive to the topic: OkCupid worked. Kinda sorta, but it worked.
Perhaps you could save us the trouble of speculating, Stanley.
Perhaps he could, but where's the fun in that?
Stanley, we already know about the coffee pot, the two mugs, the ponies, and the vanilla ice cream! Have you been hiding something else?
We could play 20 questions! I'll start. Is it a woman?
33: It depends what the meaning of "is" is?
I was thinking in terms of age, tbh.
Female of legal drinking age or older?
Half plus seven would put her above legal drinking age, wouldn't it? That works for me. Next question!
My theory: Stanley is dating a pony.
I'm trying to work up the enthusiasm for dating again; last year was fruitful in that regard, so I'm not really sure where the reluctance comes from.
All kidding aside, congratulations, Stanley.
My theory: Stanley is dating a pony.
"Up to 14.2 hands at the withers" sounds salacious.
I will have you know that I had an awfully nice dating experience which even lasted two months. But that's all over now, and who knows when I'll manage it again.
28- OKCupid worked
Note to self: if you ever go back on OKCupid, pun more.
I think OkCupid would work for me if I lived in New York. Or, you know, rearranged my life sufficiently that being there often enough to date was not problematic.
I'm glad, Heebie, that you posted this just as the Valentine's Day onslaught is gaining force.
(Hm, I just read the other thread and am now worried that 44 sounds like griping about the post rather than very brief good-natured bitterness. It's the latter, not the former, trust me.)
Valentine's schmalentines. A student group I'm in is doing a Valentine's themed, pre-Valentine's day fundraiser. I don't really want much part of it, for various reasons, so it's good that I have a scheduling conflict.
Spent basically all of last year in my first post-separation relationship. It was nice for a few months then it was progressively more miserable and I kept trying to band-aid it when I should have gotten out of it. She finally broke up with me at the end of November ("I think we should take the labels off our relationship." "Would we still do X?" "No." "Y?" "No." "Z?" "Probably not." "Cuddle and watch TV together?" "Yes. So really it'll be like what our relationship is now.") Then she stopped communicating with me for a month.
I went on one OkCupid date; there was no chemistry. Then I went on a coffee date with someone I was acquainted with. Coffee date girl friend-zoned me, but very kindly instigated flirtation between me and another girl, which rapidly turned into serious sparks and ohmygod I haven't felt this way about someone since the 1990s. Serious cartoon hearts drifting around my head, here, people.
The only down side is that last year's ex runs in the same social circle and either really really wants to be friends with both me and the new girl, or really really wants to sabotage it, and we can't figure out which.
I used to think it'd be really fun to date someone completely different from myself. Turns out most people don't feel that way, plus it's really hard.
Are you still poly, HL?
I had a girlfriend when I was in college who broke up with me after a month or two, but would whenever it would look like I would start seeing someone else, would announce we should get back together. At some point I started avoiding her altogether.
49: Poly depending on your definitions. I only want one "real relationship" at a time (though that's not a hard rule), but I want to know that I can flirt with and smooch other people, and that sleeping with other people occasionally is not out of the question, and that my partner is pleased, rather than threatened, by this stance.
God, I haven't dated on purpose in forever. I keep trying to think back on what it was, exactly, about my last earnest attempts that make it pretty much impossible for me to make another effort, and it's somewhere between (1) violent attempted rape by a crazy person and (2) the most boring and conversationally lazy person I've ever met in my life trying to score after a lunch date. Really, I go back and forth trying to figure out which one nailed the lid on the coffin of my desire to meet strangers. When I was a much younger woman, dates were often horrible in the rapey/molesty "but I paid for your dinner!" way, but now they also think I'm their therapist, professor, and mom as well.
Seen elsewhere: "My dating life is complex. By which I mean 'partly imaginary'."
In my limited experience, dating by accident is more productive than dating on purpose, on balance. I suppose because nobody feels so pressured, artifical or just plain silly. The trick is, though, to be in a situation where it happens, and this is easier said than done.
53: Yes, but that would mean meeting people in real life who are attracted to me but are not my immediate coworkers, which pretty much means married people and drug addicts, and I'm rather weary of both.
An attractive woman danced with me for a few hours when I showed up alone to a discotheque on Saturday, and gave me her number afterwards. After initially saying she'd meet me at a Brahms concert the next day (yes, I know, too soon) she backed out, citing too much stuff to do. I suppose I could invite her to the couchsurfers' boardgaming night I've organized. I dunno.
55: There's always meeting your HS sweetheart for dinner/drinks to catch up.
56. Why not? What have you got to lose?
55. Understandable. Perhaps you should find a couchsurfers boardgaming circle.
56. Why not? What have you got to lose?
Well, it just seems to be mixing things. There'll be plenty of meeting new people & socializing at the gaming night, anyway. Also, she said her English wasn't that great, and I expect the gaming will be mostly in English.
There're lots of classical music concerts in the area, so I could stick with that plan. I'd been meaning to attend more of them, but it's hard to motivate myself to do it alone.
My theory: Stanley is dating a pony.
I suspect not, but I *do* suspect that he is dating a "horse person".
There're lots of classical music concerts in the area, so I could stick with that plan.
There's a German movie, I can't remember the title, where a guy has a technique for picking up girls at classical concerts. He always buys two tickets, then goes to the concert venue and checks out the people holding "Brauche Karte" ("need ticket") signs out front. When he finds a sufficiently attractive one, he offers her the ticket at a bargain price.
That might work, but you'd have to try to find one too young to have seen the movie.
60: My secret is out. I'm dating a centaur.
Rah and I will have our 9th anniversary in a few months and I am still embarrassed that I can't remember on what day we had our first date.
My sister, who unceremoniously dumped her husband in November, swore off men and then immediately got a boyfriend, has just been dumped unceremoniously by her boyfriend. I'd like to kick him squah in the nuts, but that wouldn't be helping.
61:I think the pet shop owner does that in Exotica
That might work, but you'd have to try to find one too young to have seen the movie.
I wasn't planning on attending any concerts fancy enough to sell out, but that's worth keeping in mind. I tried doing that--well, mediated by Craigslist--back in October with a different sort of concert, which didn't work, but it turned out okay in the end anyway.
I'd like to kick him squah in the nuts, but that wouldn't be helping.
Don't see why not. If he's already dumped her she doesn't need his nuts to be in working order.
63: Maybe it would have worked better if she'd had a ceremonial divorce.
21: Prospects always appear when departure is imminent. This is known as "expiration dating." I want to attribute this to Douglas Coupland but actually no I think that's wrong.
BR and I went out on our first date 7 years ago on either Feb 1 or 2.
Jammies and I first hooked up 5 years ago on Feb 3.
My wife and I got married the day after the 2nd anniversary of our meeting. That wasn't really intentional, either. It just happened that way.
BR first grabbed Heebie's butt 3 years ago.
Also, the mouse is gone! Hooray maintenance department!
73. They're quite good at hiding, you know. I'd keep the champagne on ice for a day or two.
More interestingly, you have a butt maintenance department?
I still love Jammies comment:
"I want her genes in my kids!"
I thought it was very sweet.
Fleur and I will celebrate our duodecennial wedding anniversary this year. That's supposed to be the "silk" anniverary. The first gift I ever gave her was a pair of (very nice, fairly expensive) silk pajamas.
I'd like to take every one of you out on a date. My treat!
79:
Did they have "PINK" or "Juicy" written across the backside?
My butt maintenance department has been majorly AWOL. They must hate mommy-blogging.
I am sticking to my position that no woman worth having, or wanting, wants an unemployed misanthrope.
The ex who was the original reason I de-lurked has just...ugh.
Long and short of it: we got back together, I eventually broke up w her for treating me like crap, she begged a second chance, and then just backed off in a wussy way after dragging it out for a month. I am more than a little annoyed with myself for giving her another chance to be an asshole. And also, she chose "asshole." She was so close to not choosing asshole.
And now I wanna move on. Not sport fucking or anything, I just...want to get on with my life.
Oh, and on the subject of anniversaries, it is now nearly a month after the 3-year anniversary of my divorce. Which, really, people should celebrate these things.
83: Shouldn't that be signed Groucho Marx?
86: I oppose Marxism and low-hanging fruit.
Which is another drawback in the dating arena.
You know, DQ, Will has been waiting ages for live-blogging of your moving on adventures. You sound like you are in a good place. Onward and upward!
She was so close to not choosing asshole.
Sounds like an issue for the butt maintenance department.
Or I could have said something supportive.
And also, she chose "asshole."
To be fair, those Butt Maintenance Department positions do offer excellent benefits and only open up on rare occasions.
Pwn Maintenance Department! Clean up on aisle 92!
86. Karl was the unemployed misanthrope. Groucho was the misanthrope who was turning away work.
Sounds like the Butt Maintenance Department has a major crack running through it.
I am sticking to my position that no woman worth having, or wanting, wants an unemployed misanthrope.
I'm pretty sure there is a "Modern Love" column that specifically disproves this. Then again, maybe the "worth having, or wanting" is doing the work in that sentence.
#83: does an unemployed misanthrope sit around waiting for the human race to do something truly worth hating? If so, you need to watch "America's Got Talent" or "The Ricky Gervais Show".
95: Nah, they're just being cheeky.
92, 93: Don't worry. It is probably just your socialization showing.
only open up on rare occasions.
The fruit, how low it hangs!
OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS ARE! THE! FUNNIEST!!!
83, 96: There's a fair chance that Leo wil be un- (or more likely, under-) employed for a while when he relocates to my part of town. Which may or may not prove Flip's point.
Did they have "PINK" or "Juicy" written across the backside?
No. Some things are all the more true for being left unsaid.
96: A great deal of the work, yes.
97: In this respect I may be rare, or even unique, among half-educated Americans, but I decided rather a long time ago that I had seen, heard and read quite enough of Ricky Gervais. He and Kanye West have been sent to live on the same farm in the countryside of my attention.
HA HA HA! I think I just peed a little!
Cassidy has a pair of pink sweat pants (handed down from friends) that say ICKY across the back.
Um, well, I mostly lurk here (my one moment of Unfogged fame was when LB called me a Marshall McLuhan Moment) but this thread could use some cheering up, and I got engaged this weekend. (Imagine a smiley face here, which I know is against Unfogged house style.)
And, since I know there are some Montanans that hang out here, my ring is a lovely sapphire from the Yogo Gulch mine. My Missoula-bred fiancé was over the moon when he found it.
Uh oh, not just pee! :(
I'll be back in a minute.
Thanks! We've been together for 7 years, so it won't be a huge change in our lives, but I'm actually pretty excited about the whole thing.
Congrats, Roadrunner!
DQ: Getting out of a bad relationship is always a good idea. The new possibilities for you are endless! Plus, Di is correct; live-blog your new adventures.
Congrats, Roadrunner and regards to Wile E.
Congrats, Roadrunner and regards to Wile E.
Wait until you see the fireworks display at the wedding reception!
sorry donaquixote, that sucks. good luck in your future dating endeavors. and liveblog, for sure.
118: I love that thing so much, but you didn't quote the best bit:
Repetition of blows along a vertical axis produced a series of regular horizontal folds in Mr. Coyote's body tissues---a rare and painful condition which caused Mr. Coyote to expand upward and contract downward alternately as he walked, and to emit an off-key, accordionlike wheezing with every step. The distracting and embarassing nature of this symptom has been a major impediment to Mr. Coyote's pursuit of a normal social life.
Yes, good luck to DQ. But don't rule out the sport-fucking! And count me as another vote for liveblogging, of course.
118: Mr. Coyote has overlooked this little thing called a Mandatory Arbitration Clause. Bwaaahaaahhaaa.
121: There is a compelling public interest in preventing the manufacture and sale of defective rocket skates, gentlemen. Do you really want to face a jury on this?
What is "sport-fucking"? Is it the same thing as "hate-fucking"?
Sport-fucking is to hate-fucking as sport fishing is to hate fishing.
123: I recall both terms as artifacts of the obnoxiousness-as-charm sexual-anxiety-as-sexual-confidence '90s, so, probably.
Sounds too expensive and requires too much equipment.
122: Our client believes that its products are safe and effective when used as directed, and intends to defend this suit aggressively. The plaintiff would be well advised to consider the negative publicity that will result from courtroom exposure of his manifest culpability -- an uncharitable witness might say stupidity -- revealed in the course of these unfortunate events. We have literally hours of animated footage to enter as evidence to in support of this argument.
You guys are sweet. I think right at this particular moment I'm probably too bitter to interact much with other people. I tried that once, and I was, like, the nightmare date. But hopefully soon I will not be bitter! Perhaps I can liveblog a getting-over-it montage? Like a mix of cleaning out my closet, doing one armed pushups, and making spontaneous snow angels while laughing at the simple rediscovered joys of life? That kind of thing?
And yay for Roadrunner!
I s'port fucking and fishing. (But not at the same time. You can get hooked.)
Like a mix of cleaning out my closet, doing one armed pushups, and making spontaneous snow angels while laughing at the simple rediscovered joys of life?
In retrospect, Jack Palance was a poor choice of lead for Eat, Pray, Love.
129: Absolutely! Liveblog the progress from "that evil asshole destroyed me" to "I am better and stronger and happier than I've ever been and, God, am I grateful I didn't wind up with that asshole." That may include reorganized closets or gourmet meals or training to run a marathon.
The distracting and embarassing nature of this symptom has been a major impediment to Mr. Coyote's pursuit of a normal social life.
Documents obtained through discovery will clearly prove that Mr. Coyote was and always has been a solitary outcast who has never known a normal social life. One might feel sorry for Mr. Coyote, but the reality is that he cannot prove damages.
DQ, if you're looking for a girlfriend, I'd be happy to send you mine, though that probably tells you how she's doing on the asshole metric. She's decided to start smoking again, and of course the best way to do that without bothering the asthmatic three-year-old is to jaunt off to a bar to hang with friends for an hour or two. It would be fine if we were alternating who got to take personal time, but Mara was with me everywhere except work and the grocery store last week, whereas Lee went out alone almost every day. She's acknowledging there's a problem and that she's going to work on it, but for a lot of reasons I want to just curl up in a ball and cry today.
Anyway, I don't have anything useful to ATM, so I'll just bask in other people's cute stories. And there are many here! Both condolences and best wishes to the people on the breakup side of things; I'm just focusing on the happier bits.
134: On the contrary, gentlemen: Mr. Coyote is a certified and well-known SUPERGENIUS. His need for quiet and isolation in which to pursue the life of the mind is comparable to that of other brilliant canids, like Snoopy and Mr. Peabody.
the best way to do that without bothering the asthmatic three-year-old is
...to just step outside on the porch to have a smoke.
138: You win for the solution we've now agreed to! I can't believe it took as much work to get to consensus as it did, though. I am grumpy.
132: I'd pre-order that movie, starring Zombie Jack Palance.
Thorn, I'm sorry. Does she / you / you as a couple have a plan for working on it? I get that maybe you don't want to go on about it, but I can readily see where that situation would suck for you big time, and my first instinct is try to be helpful if I can, even though I probably can't, and....that question about a plan is how that all came out. So, really, probably not that helpful. I hope she works on it soon.
141: We're working on plans. We're going to start scheduling more time and making her actually stick to the schedules, since she has yet to cook a single meal after offering to take on both Wednesdays and Saturdays back in mid-December. (Oh, I'm lying; she made chili once, but it was while both Mara and I were out and only she ended up eating it, I think.) I'm just too tired to be making more demands and so I register my displeasure and she goes off and probably complains to people about what a buzzkill I am. We're both wiped out and not prioritizing properly.
when he relocates to my part of town
Doesn't he need to relocate to your part of the country first? Is that already in the works?
129: My particular version of that montage had me buying an absurdly expensive but exquisitely engineered vacuum cleaner yesterday. It is fucking awesome! I Vacuumed All The Things!
What songs will play during your respective montages?
144: Is it a Dyson? I recently got to use one, and it certainly does suck. Boy howdy.
What songs will play during your respective montages?
Oh, you know, something sweet and sentimental.
I wasn't planning on attending any concerts fancy enough to sell out
Lots of non-fancy concerts sell out. This concert sold out and you can be assured that there were plenty of attractive ladies who Karte brauchten.
Thorn, sorry you're getting the short end of the childcare stick. No wonder you're wiped out.
I'll bet you're grumpy; I'd probably be teetering on the edge of violence.
We're both wiped out
I know this carries all the comfort of a wire monkey right now (and doesn't address the underlying problem at all), but it honestly does get easier after three. That age is more exhausting than a newborn.
145: The first thing that came to mind was "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", but I'm not committed to that. Doesn't quite have that power-you-through-a-snow-bank-while-inexplicably-carrying-firewood quality.
147: I'd never heard of the show whence the clip, but it's worth watching to the end.
Also, from the comments:
kenny powers: there is no I in team, but there is a U in cunt.
Last post comment before I go have lunch, but this has been a really rough week. Mara's test triggered a lot of anxiety and regression for her, mostly meaning she's been having hysterical screaming fits toward me and me alone. So she'll hold me as tight as she can while screaming NO, GO AWAY and kicking and writhing. She also wasn't sleeping well, which means neither was I. And she needed to be with me, held, whatever at all times, which has not been the case so much recently. It was like having a three-year-old and a baby at the same time, sometimes explicitly when she wanted to be rocked and swaddled and say googoogagaga.
So yes, I'm extra bitter because Lee can sleep through things I can't and because she was drinking her second beer while I was plunging the toilet for the second time yesterday afternoon. But even though she's making decisions that look selfish to me, she's doing it to keep herself sane and able to do what she does for Mara, and I need to respect that intention at least and do what I can to do the same for myself. It's only been three months.
But I need to buy a new vacuum this week, so I'm grateful for that part of the thread too, though hoping someone will pop up and say Dysons are overrated and you should definitely just buy something cheaper.
143: While previewing, I reread comment #1, so I think I get it now. (When I first read it, I thought "dissertation" was a euphemism.)
Doesn't quite have that power-you-through-a-snow-bank-while-inexplicably-carrying-firewoodice-cream quality.
Can I steal Flippanter's suggestion? I'm stealing Flippanter's thing.
Thorn, is it at all standard for new adoptive parents to get counseling? I only ask because it seems like adopting a toddler with a few special needs would normally be pretty stressful, and the nature of the undertaking wouldn't leave you with very much time or energy to deal with the changes it brings.
I really hope she comes around, and soon.
because she was drinking her second beer while I was plunging the toilet for the second time yesterday afternoon
150.1! 150.1!
Seriously, if the kid wants to cling to you then that much may be unavoidable, but in that case Lee can really be doing the damn toilet plunging.
Sorry, that was inappropriate. I hope you two (/three) are able to resolve things.
I find it hard to believe Dysons are worth the price. Thorn, I'm sending you (nerd alert!) Consumer Reports info on vacuums.
152, 157: One feels a certain ... kinship with Kenny Powers on occasion, usually when he is shouting apologetically:
"I'm Kenny Powers! I'm very upset with how I'm acting right now! I just have a very hard time expressing my emotions and I can't stop from yelling! So I'm very sorry! I'm just very upset right now. So I'm just gonna go ahead and go. But I'm not gonna stop yellin', cause that would mean I lost the fight! So please leave a key under the mat. I love you all very much. Peace out!"
Karl was the unemployed misanthrope. Who got the aristocratic debutante queen. Extra fun trivia, his brother in law was in charge of crushing radical movement in the wake of 1848 as Prussian minister of the interior.
Karl was the unemployed misanthrope. Who got the aristocratic debutante queen.
He was sort of the Marty Peretz of his day.
Who got the aristocratic debutante queen.
And heretofore I was in such a good mood.
I do like my Dyson. It's not magic, but it's less annoying than any other vacuum I've ever had, and it means that I vacuum a whole lot more. I'm kind of embarrassed about having paid that much for it, but other than the shame of overconsumption, I don't feel remotely cheated.
163: Whooooooo hooooo!
164: He was gay?
158: Yeah, I'm having a hard time thinking of something appropriately supportive to say that isn't inappropriately hostile about your partner.
164: Except Karl's wife didn't have any money of her own, right? Weren't they always broke?
163: Another satisfied customer!
132: hmm, a film about a middle-aged man who dumps his boring middle-aged wife and goes off travelling around the world until he hooks up with a hot young foreign woman? I'm not sure that's going to work quite as well that way around.
171: To be fair, and I hate myself for knowing this though I know not how it came to my attention, Ms. Gilbert's replacement husband is well into his late-middle years.
Except Karl's wife didn't have any money of her own, right? Weren't they always broke?
Yup. Engels paid for them and their kid, by working for his daddy's firm. Which must have come hard because Engels was one of nature's DFHs. There's a story about some friend going round to his place and he (this mid Victorian bourgeois) was sitting on the floor with his collar undone, and his wife had her stays loose and the floor was littered with empty bottles, and Engels was just, "Whoa, yeah, great to see you man, get a drink""
I appreciate 156 even if no one else does, and am now imagining what a Dyson vacuum cleaner designed by Freeman Dyson would be like. My imaginings are fuelled by just having read "Project Orion".
They really missed a trick by calling it the Dyson Ball rather than the Dyson Sphere.
hoping someone will pop up and say Dysons are overrated
I could not be forced to pay that much for a vacuum cleaner if it were the only one left and the salesman had me at gunpoint. I have a Bissell that I bought a year or so ago and absolutely love.
... a Dyson vacuum cleaner designed by Freeman Dyson.
A couple of astronomical units in diameter, at least, right?
And probably involving a small and elegantly designed nuclear reactor.
178: "Small but perfectly-formed, like Kylie Minogue...."
172: only seen the trailer, I'm afraid; doesn't the Julia Roberts character end up with Javier Bardem?
176: In that case, be careful about the moving parts .
179: I like my women like I like my nuclear reactors. Small, elegant, extremely hot and with inherent stability built into the design.
180: And then the captive-bolt scene?
183: that would be a much better film, certainly.
What do we think the odds are on my regretting the angry emails I sent the ex at 11:52 last night and 6:12 this morning? Sounds like they'll be pretty high, right? I re-read, and while pissed off, nothing in them was actually incorrect. Just awfully final, pissed, and judgy.
Now I have to drive up there and get my stuff again. Goddammit.
I still have a few of my more rash, angry emails saved. The Fuck-You-[ex-best-friend's-husband] series remains, quite frankly, a favorite for which I have no regrets. YMMV.
Now I have to drive up there and get my stuff again.
I'm not sure whether this more strongly indicts love or stuff, but it's a pretty familiar case either way.
146: A Miele. German engineering FTW! It's absurdly powerful and about as noisy as the cooling fan on my refrigerator.
I have a cat that sheds enough to stuff a pillow about once a month. The damn thing would be a goldmine if there was a market for cat hair. As is he's simply turned my apartment into a vacuum cleaner torture test lab. Perhaps I could lease my place to consumer reports for their next round of vacuum cleaner testing.
We should have a "Best Nasty Email You Ever Sent" contest!
185. Why would you regret them? Are you planning to get back together? Didn't think so. If you're at a loss what to do with the, post them here. Create the first 2000 comment thread!
188: have you tried the Furminator? It is awesome.
I like this idea. There could be several variations.
Post a circumstance and we write the email.
Post an email and we can make it nastier. Or maybe draft a follow-up email that explains why the first email was totally necessary, justified, and too mild.
#182: I comiserate with you; presumably you always end up with women who are always late, demand far more money spent on them you can really afford, and regularly leak toxic discharges into the Irish Sea.
I have a cat that sheds enough to stuff a pillow about once a month. The damn thing would be a goldmine if there was a market for cat hair.
One of my cousins used to teach at a textile/fashion college, and one of her things was to gather unusual animal hair, or fibres and turn it into clothes. She had one of those medieval looking spinning wheels, the whole bit. I don't know if she ever did cat hair, but she certainly did dog hair, and other things.
185: No regrets, only something that will make a catchy end to this slogan! Truth hurts and whatnot.
Let's see, no, I would not buy a Dyson, though they're cute. If I were going to put that much money into a machine, I'd buy a dishwasher since that's what would save me more effort. But I do need to buy a little something that will gladly suck up dog hair.
And thanks, everyone. I feel better after venting and then eating lunch. Remembering to eat is important, it turns out! We're in counseling for Mara but haven't been seeing our couples' counselor or any of the individual counselors we used to see. I think couples' counseling will be the first back on the agenda. For now, at least Lee's listening and agrees that things aren't fair. I can work from that starting point, especially if I really do get a long hot bath and an early bedtime tonight as promised.
191: I think I shall buy that thing. I currently comb him daily with a wire bristle brush designed for the purpose, but I'm certainly interested in trying anything that's more efficient. Plus the name is awesome.
194: And here we have Sasha sporting the anaphylactic shock shawl. Just look at how it complements the puffy redness of her eyes!
Miele FTW. In the vacuum cleaner subthread, that is; there's no winning with relationships. You can occasionally pick up a secondhand Miele for not too much on Craigslist. You can also pick up number of secondhand partners for nothing on Craigslist, but it'll only come to sorrow in the end, and the Miele does a better job on your carpets.
I like my women like I like my wind farms: unsightly, covered in dead birds and hanging around off the coast of Lincolnshire.
I wish. In fact I end up with unstable Ukrainian women who have spectacular breakdowns in public that I still haven't recovered from 20 years later.
thinking about it, #199 s/b "environmentally responsible but too unreliable to be an exclusive solution".
194: One of my sisters spun yarn from the family dog's copious fur. Even after countless washings, it still smelled distinctly of dog.
199, 201: Can't get by without a few peakers, you know.
I like my men like I like my state government: corrupt, bankrupt, and the subject of frequent federal indictments.
Miele is the awesome. Not that I use it much, but on the rare occasions that I do vacuum it is very good. I got mine for $200, new, in a brick and mortar store. Not cheap but not crazy expensive either.
204. Can I send you my brother in law, then?
190: Well, part of me feels like it's not ok to beat up on her for being emotionally dysfunctional ("dysfunctional" was definitely not my original word choice there), because in the long run it's probably worse for her than it is for me. But then I remember that, wait, no, she's an adult. I dunno. I just think there's a possibility that when I care less I'm gonna regret saying hurtful things. Then I go back and think, "but they're true!" and the cycle begins again.
I mean, she didn't do a bunch of really messed up things on purpose, necessarily. She's just kind of a failure at feelings (and introspection!), and kind of selfish. (Weirdly, selfishness seems to be a family value. Wait: that's a red flag, isn't it?)
Red flag posts are always fun. I'm sure I must be missing some, but I keep looking and can't seem to find them.
I like my women the way I like my mainstream media: unreliable, obsessed with appearances, and inexplicably fond of John McCain.
Re: original post, my love life is going pretty well. This past weekend was the one-year anniversary of my first date with my girlfriend. That's kind of an arbitrary thing to celebrate because we had known each other for almost a year before dating and that first date was a very low-key thing, as she often makes fun of me for, but an anniversary is an anniversary, so we went out last night. And it actually didn't go all that great, but still, we've been living together happily for almost five months now, so we must be doing something right.
when I care less I'm gonna regret saying hurtful things
Eh. That's what ugly breakups are for, dq. Just remember that private e-mails always have the potential to be seen by millions more eyes than originally intended. Therefore edit cycles for maximum wit and skewerage are recommended.
Anyhow, better to be angry than despondent. Take advantage of the energy it provides.
I mean, she didn't do a bunch of really messed up things on purpose, necessarily.
Intentionality isn't all that, when it comes to relationship-sins. It might well be good for her to not get a free pass.
Be careful if you get the furminator, unless you like your cats like you like your women: nearly hairless and running resentfully from anything that could be used for grooming.
I like my women the way I like my solar farms: quiet, clean, and bolted to concrete under the desert sun.
I like my women like I like my coffee: black, French and bitter.
212-213: Wow, that was extra enthusiastic.
Intentionality isn't all that, when it comes to relationship-sins.
I agree with this.
I think the only way to improve on the cat lady archetype is to add a habit of sending christmas sweaters made from the softest cat belly hair. Incidentally, I frequently tell one of my cats, "some one should make a coat out of you!" in a gooey voice.
Mrs. Digest has just contributed "I like my men like my power grids - ideologically driven, not too smart and full of gas".
On review, 219 envisions a bleak future.
217.2: I am just *that* happy for you.
What, no love for coal-fired generators: cheap, a little dirty, and hard to shut down?
I like my women like I like my wind turbines - tall, powerful, and probably either Danish or German? With rivets and extremely big feet?
...like my concentrating solar power plants - hot enough to keep hundreds of tonnes of rock salt molten all night long, and Spanish?
214, 218: Yeah, my response to "But I didn't intend to hurt you," was generally "Yeah, but did you make any deliberate effort to avoid hurting me?" Negligence is culpable, too.
I like my women like I like my mid-winter snow packs? Cold, heavy, and with a non-zero potential for catastrophic damage.
(How's that for nasty? I did good, coach?)
I like my women like I like my vessels: gendered female and encrusted with barnacles.
I like my women like I like my relationships: short, shallow, and shameless.
the link in 227 is a brilliant joke, right? The Seahawk photo in particular?
I like my women the way I like my coffee: raised on South American plantations and shipped to my door when ready for use.
I'm pretty sure I've used that one, or one very like it, before. I omit but allude to the multiply-deployed talc one.
230: You have used something like that before, but the last time you used it, it was better.
I like my women like I like my seacaptains: on a boat, y'all.
||
I should have put up a post about this when it happened, not that I have anything useful to say about it. But I'm really depressed about Reid's failure to do anything about the filibuster. Fuckers.
|>
"My women" are not words that can seriously, or jokingly, pass my lips.
They really missed a trick by calling it the Dyson Ball rather than the Dyson Sphere.
Indeed. Some lawyer probably informed them they couldn't trademark it.
I like my love life like I like my Senate. No action until there's at least sixty of us.
235: congratulations on your purity.
235 not meant as a judgement or criticism, just an instant reaction, a fact risen to self-awareness saying something only about me.
238: Or your unusual speech impediment.
238: "purity" should be "speech impediment"
I'd say it is a fairly common inpetiment.
242: In fairness, it takes some real skill to be pwned on that one.
The real reason women don't make jokes -- we get embarrassed about all the pwning.
Wow. 240 and 241 are really kind of epic. Apo, you should do the opposite of play the lottery today.
153: I bought a Hoover and it's great. I decided that for the money I spent on a Dyson, I could buy a new Hoover every year and come out about even. So far the Hoover has behaved perfectly and only cost $70.
you should do the opposite of play the lottery today
Sell tickets for a drawing?
242: Only a feminist would let themselves get pwned by a woman.
"My women" are not words that can seriously, or jokingly, pass my lips.
One hopes that the same is true of "my dogs".
249: I make sure LB gets to come first. Because I'm a feminist.
Apo has an unusual speech inpwnimet.
250:An interesting equivalence, and not one that would ever pass my lips.
I like my dogs like I like my cheese: by the pound.
I don't know, Apo. If bob were a woman, maybe, but a man being pwned by a women with respect to another man? Doesn't sound very feminist to me.
250 is so to the point, and makes me much better. Thank ya, Jaysus.
A Spanish tramp's urine is something that would never pass my lips.
No action until there's at least sixty of us.
...most of whom are elderly lawyers.
259, 260: dsquared never ceases to boast of his expertise on urine.
For example, see his post on Budweiser.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Two words: secret holds.
I made a snowman. IN MY MIND. (I'm not allowed in the actual outside part of the world.)
259: If your consultant offers you urine, you may have framed the question wrong.
Two words: secret holds.
Two more: franking privileges.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Certain things can't happen without unanimous consent.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Structurally biased towards rural states.
I like my women like my cold fusion; compelling, energetic and wholly imaginary.
The phrase "my women" is a moment on the lips, but a lifetime on the hips.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
I wish both had a lot more women in them.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
One session per year.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Full of purely procedural obstructionism.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Using Joe Biden to for ties.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
With lucrative consulting gigs available to ex-members.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
99 assholes and Bernie Sanders.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Lots of members, one big body.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Full of cartoon turtles.
Lots of members, one big body.
I heard George Washington had, like, 30 goddamn burgesses.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Broadcast on CSPAN.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Covered extensively on cable tv.
I am completely infatuated with someone who appears to feel exactly the same way. And this would be grand and lovely, were it not for a barrier of distance (trans-Atlantic) that at this point is simply not overcomeable. I'll enjoy it for now, but I'm cursing my luck, as this is the third or fourth time this has happened to me.
Lots of talk, desultory action.
I 100% honestly thought until sometime last year that Freeman Dyson invented the Dyson vacuum cleaner, or at least had something to do with the technology. I thought the guy in the ads was Freeman Dyson. Of course, I am an idiot.
Oh well. But you can be long-distance if-only friends, and if travel turns out to possible, you'll have someone to visit. Wistful, but not all that bad.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Not over until the whole country is fucked.
It would be not all that bad if my dating life were such that I occasionally met someone here that I felt this way about! It can't just be the accent, can it?
285--I like my long-distance relationships like I like my Senate: passionately divided, but still able to come together and interact constructively frequently enough to get the job done.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Constitutionally mandated.
Also, 285 sounds kind of hellish to me. How on earth does it keep happening?
And I still don't know who Freeman Dyson is, even given ample opportunity to google him.
To the OP, OK Cupid does seem to work amazingly well, at least in the category "arranging a constant dating life" (can't vouch for separate category "someone to cook my buffalo steaks and listen attentively to pointless rants finding a life partner").
It might work even better if I didn't screen out the 85% of women who say that they are looking for a "partner in crime."
290: You're American, and the would-be lover is English? If so, yes, it's just the accent.
292: One, I have a tendency to meet people a month before they're about to move. Two, I'm around a lot of people only on short stays in my location. Three, ze internetz.
293.2 -- Because you take your membership in the California Bar that seriously?
Four, possibly I'm avoiding commitment.
ze internetz
Ooh la-la. He's French?
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Universally known as the "Grand Compromise".
I'm thinking about starting a blog. Does anyone here know anything about geocities?
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
A deliberative body with passionate extremes and a broad, powerful center.
And if he's French, it is also just the accent. (And a myriad of absurd gestures you'd run from any American dude trying out.)
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
In session for days at a time.
If he's Hungarian, it's not the accent, it's the goulash.
I like my love life like I like my health care reform: struck down before it can be enacted.
Has anyone linked to this yet?
Sea Captain Date is the only place for Sea Captains to connect with men and women who share a love of the ocean. With thousands of Captains already online, SeaCaptainDate.com is the destination for romance on the seven seas!
C and I reached 15 years of marriage this month. Not bad for a whim.
297 would be my guess. It's a lot easier to give yourself heart and soul to someone who'll never be able to collect.
Not to be all bleak and unromantic, but... OK fine. I am bleak and unromantic.
Maybe yours is the exception, in which case you should figure out how to ditch your current situation and go be with him/her/them/it. Maybe the mineshaft can help. I'll throw in five dollars to make up for being Debbie Downer.
Nicely done. Buck and I are a little less than two years behind you, and I'm still bemused about where the time's gone.
k-sky got there first, Halford.
asilon: a whim, you say? Go on. (Oh, and congratulations!)
I heard Buck has like 30 goddamn accents.
Four, possibly I'm avoiding commitment.
I like my love life like I like my Senate: with enough procedural obstacles that it's easy for either side to avoid commitment.
If he's a sea captain, it's probably also just the accent.
Well, that Kurzweil guy used corporate riches as a platform to crazy intellectual thought leadership, and so did Stephen Wolfram, so why not Freeman Dyson>?
If he's from Eastern Europe, it's not the accent, it's an internet scam.
309: You're probably right. This tends to happen after having my heart severely broken - my version of the rebound, I suppose
Also, to the rest, peep was right, English. Kinda one of those hoity-toity accents, too, which generally isn't my style.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
All the parties seem the same, and there's always a whip.
I like my love life like I like my Senate.
Fill her, bust her!
C and I reached 15 years of marriage this month.
I like my love life like I like my Senate: where outsiders might view it as dysfunctional, but where the individuals involved think those dysfunctions are what make it special, and wouldn't want it any other way.
I like my love life like I like my Senate: chockablock full of elderly egotists, backbiting, and poorly conceived legislation?
||
Oh...good. Some federal judge voids entire health care law.
||
i have 2 okc first dates this week and am feeling somewhat optimistic! not about them in *particular* just, i dunno!
it's been... colorful i guess. the last guy i met, it went pretty well, we made out standing on the freezing sidewalk, arranged a 2nd date. then during the 4 days in between he hooked back up with his 22 year old sorta-ex who was on her way out of the country to study abroad. i canceled the 2nd date but he assured me that if i change my mind she will be gone for 9 whole months! lol.
my other recent okc-sponsored makeout also seemed to have potential but he went away over the holidays, came back and emailed me that he wasn't feelin it. so it goes.
i continue to invest too much. it's not like either of these guys were ALL THAT. a funny feeling is the feeling of relief/amusement/spite you get remembering someone's foibles that you forgave on the first date but now are free to criticize. e.g. he got up to pee TWICE and murmured something about a small bladder! well guess what dude, my real boyfriend will have a HUGE BLADDER.
okc has mostly been good for peppering a schedule with ok ways to spend evenings. most often i feel like neither of us has quite enough momentum to want to see the other again - so, whatever. re 293: i screen out the guys who say they are looking for a woman "equally comfortable in heels or hiking boots".
I like my love life like I like my Senate
With everyone knowing up front that I'll be choosing two at a time, each for a six-year term.
I like my love life like I like my Senate
Lots of pork.
e.g. he got up to pee TWICE and murmured something about a small bladder! well guess what dude, my real boyfriend will have a HUGE BLADDER.
Love this comment.
330: I hate to break it to you, will, but your bladder's just not very big.
re 293: i screen out the guys who say they are looking for a woman "equally comfortable in heels or hiking boots".
Because it means they want a woman with poorly designed hiking boots?
my real boyfriend will have a HUGE BLADDER
Just remember, there are showers and there are growers.
my real boyfriend will have a HUGE BLADDER
Just remember, there are showers and there are growersgolden showers.
332: yes! and half the guys say it so it seems so generic, and it smacks of trying to customize/optimize yo' woman.
equally comfortable in heels or hiking boots... IN BED.
i probably don't actually screen it out.
Actually they mean that you should be equally with them wearing either heels or hiking boots.
327: I think I'll put "equally comfortable in heels and jackboots" in my profile.
I'm tempted to respond to women looking for a partner in crime with a serious and detailed proposal for an actual crime, but I worry that there might be legal repercussions. I bet a lot of those profiles are actually FBI sting operations.
customize/optimize yo' woman
Pimp My Ride, indeed. I'm looking for a woman who looks equally good in hiking boots and spinning gold hubcaps.
Equally comfortable in flip-flops and sabatons.
Looking for a woman whose undercarriage is already lit.
I'm tempted to respond to women looking for a partner in crime with a serious and detailed proposal for an actual crime
I like my love life like I like my Senate: subject to criminal laws against openly buying services in exchange for cash, but with plenty of wiggle room for mutually beneficial quid pro quo arrangements.
I like my love life like I like my Senate
Holdin' up all my appointments. Awwww, yeah.
I like my love life like I like my Senate
One congress every two years?
I like my love life like I like my gun shows: no background checks, no undercover agents, and lots of cash.
I have used to like my men like I used to think I liked my cinema: serious, artistic, foreign, tragic. But actually I like pirate movies.
I like my love life like I like my Unfogged: from a distance, somewhat anonymous, and with occasional drunken meetups.
334 is great, but since I don't know AG's gender, I can't draw any general conclusions.
Jackmormon:
with patches, parrots, and plunder?
Pimp my Ride, indeed
Now, you know the coils ain't even buzzin', little generator won't get the spark
Motor's in a bad condition, you gotta have these batteries charged
But I'm cryin', pleease, pleease don't do me wrong.
Who been drivin' my Terraplane now for you since I been gone.
since I don't know AG's gender
I'm all man, laydeez.
352: But how big is your bladder?
353: M/tch is interested in the subpoenas.
When I was a kid my grandfather called my sister and me "meeskeit" which is Yiddish for "ugliness." I later found out this was because it is a common Jewish superstition that if you talk about good things, they get taken away.* So, my dating life? It's nothing special.
*It's possible we were also hideous.
354: That would be the scrotum, Stanley.
Scrotum? Damn near bankrupted him!
Homosexual? I hardly know you all!
297: I hear ya. Having a history of falling long-distance in love, and then having a miserable marriage once we were in the same location, I have worried that I'm not cut out for relationships that involve being in the same place at the same time. (I'm pretty sure that this time is different...)
I'm all man, laydeez.
Pay no mind to these miscreants, Mr. Attorney General. Now, I was thinking we could talk to Mr. Boehner about that tort reform...
||
323:Very Good Indeed, say the Firedoglake commenters, who obviously are just evil people who want the most vulnerable to suffer and die
|>
358 is the first time I have laughed out loud on a variation of that in a long time. (Not that 357 isn't smile-worthy.)
323: I think that part I'm most dreading is when Republicans use the Supreme Court overturning the law as justification for a giant, public "TOLD YOU SO!", despite the fact that this was the fucking Republican plan. (And I don't doubt that this fact will evade the attention of most major media reporting on their celebration.)
I like my love life like I like my Senate
Roman-inspired.
364: that's how Stanley is too, from my understanding.
363:Well, maybe Obama and the Democrats should not have passed a fucking Republican plan in the first place.
Anybody who wants can read the comments at FDL in the link at 361. Most of the old arguments are repeated once again, on both sides.
I find it very disheartening that I don't trust anyone, especially the usual suspects, to give an objective assessment of this bill's constitutionality. The argument made by Vinson was that, analogy, we don't force people without cars or driving licenses to buy private car insurance. The fact that a twenty-something might need healthcare (and the probabilities are fairly low) did not justify the mandate.
I also find it dispiriting that Democrats were not able to sell, or probably did not want to sell, a common good financed out of general revenue, which would not be in question as to constitutionality.
who obviously are just evil people who want the most vulnerable to suffer and die
Given the kind of racism and deranged dislike of Obama on display by FDL commenters these days, I don't expect they care much who dies so long as this adminstration gets a black eye. And I'm sure Hamsher's pal Grover Norquist is delighted with this turn of events, too.
Maybe Jane can run on her opposition to the ACA when she tries to primary Obama next year.
369.2:Not gonna even be attempted, Immelt and Daley ensure Obama will have more money than God
369.1 is contemptible
#370. You're damn right it's contemptible, but Jane's gotta pay the bills somehow. Give a lady a break. Fox News isn't gonna call if you spend your time defending this administration.
HOW MANY DIVISIONS HAS JANE HAMSHER?
372:Exactly.
Obama, thanks to Daley, Immelt and all his other Wall Street and corporate friends, is going to have more than a billion dollars to pass around the country to party hacks and media...and Populuxe is deeply offended by Jane Hamsher's "corruption."
You forgot the Jews, Bob. And you forgot all the money that Soros and his ring of international bankers are paying for an army of Obots to keep America under Obama's iron thumb of health care. You and Hamsher may have foiled us this time, but we'll be back!
I once forgot about Dre, but there was a whole song to remind me.
366: Because you fuck horses, dear. Or so we're led to believe.
I'm having pronoun-antecedent trouble with 374. Does the "us" include Populuxe among Jews, international bankers in Soros's ring, Obots or all of the above?
377: Seriously, k-sky, why choose? The various 'baggers don't, I'm sure!
292: And I still don't know who Freeman Dyson is, even given ample opportunity to google him.
I think the best description is "British mad genius scientist, polymath, designer of atom bombs, spaceships and atom bomb-powered spaceships, fl. 1940-2000".
"British mad genius scientist, polymath, designer of atom bombs, spaceships and atom bomb-powered spaceships, fl. 1940-2000".
The sort of man who was a hero to the adolescent Larry Niven.
"fl. 1940-2000" means? It isn't his lifespan, since he's still alive...
re: 381
Well, 'fl.' is normally used to refer the period a person is producing work [Latin, 'floruit']. I don't know why 2000 chosen as the end date, though, although I suppose he's not really producing much now.
Ah, I'd never actually seen that. And come on, Freeman Dyson has totes been producing: he writes global climate change denying book reviews and whatnot.
It's used a lot in history. Sometimes you've no idea when, say, a scientific instrument maker was born, or died, but you know that all the things he made were produced between 1645 and 1680, so, he's 'Johannes Von Foo, fl. 1645-1680'.
I've always been fond of the I'm-throwing-up-my-scholarly-hands "fl. ca. ..."
380: "The sort of man who was a hero to the adolescent Larry Niven" - and to the arguably still adolescent ajay, for that matter.
383: does he? oh, dammit. Perhaps we need another abbreviation to go with "fl.". "Dis.", maybe, for "disseruit" - "went to seed".
So you could have James Watson, born 1928, fl. 1950-94, dis. 2000.
(As in "dissertation?")
386: not really "denying"; he just thinks its no big deal.
And come on, Freeman Dyson has totes been producing: he writes global climate change denying book reviews and whatnot.
Not exactly "denying", but saying it's not a big deal, we will adapt, we will make MAGICAL CARBON-DEVOURING TREES, etc.
It's no wonder he gets away with this shit, since most of his younger colleagues at the Insti/tute don't seem to think climate change is anything to worry about either. I'll yell at them about it, but not him, because he's a tiny frail-looking old man.
Whoa, I totally missed 387 right there in front of me.
MAGICAL CARBON-DEVOURING TREES
I've been burying the propane tanks from my neighbors' grills. Every bit helps.
367: I tried to ignore this, but throwing sanity, discretion and my pants to the wind let me comment on a couple of your points.
I find it very disheartening that I don't trust anyone, especially the usual suspects, to give an objective assessment of this bill's constitutionality.
I'd find that disheartening too, but it ain't that hard if you stay away from idiocy like the comments in that FDL thread. Here's a nice summary of key constitutional points at Balkinization (with links to the Law Review article from whence they came).
The argument made by Vinson was that, analogy, we don't force people without cars or driving licenses to buy private car insurance. The fact that a twenty-something might need healthcare (and the probabilities are fairly low) did not justify the mandate.
And what a fatuous analogy it is--if we've got to go there, more like not making "good" drivers purchase car insurance.
And if you want to look a bit deeper into Vinson's even-handed judiciousness there is:
1) His invocation of that new chestnut of humbugs in the judiciary, the unique situation dodge*: ...but non-severability is required based on the unique facts of this case and the particular aspects of the Act. This is not a situation that is likely to be repeated. *(See Bush v. Gore, of course)
2) Also a favorite of hacks like Scalia and Roberts, the oh-so-clever gratuitous soundbite for wingnuttia: It is difficult to imagine, that a nation which began, at least in part, as the result of opposition to a British mandate giving the East India Company a monopoly and imposing a nominal tax on all tea sold in America would have set out to create a government with the power to force people to buy tea in the first place.
Oh, snap!
It is difficult to imagine, that a nation which began, at least in part, as the result of opposition to a British mandate giving the East India Company a monopoly and imposing a nominal tax on all tea sold in America would have set out to create a government with the power to force people to buy tea in the first place.
Why is that difficult to imagine? Is there something about "no taxation without representation" that Vinson finds difficult to understand?
393: But ... but, they jammed it down our throats.
393: Even the wingnuts surely don't believe that the British government tried to force Americans to buy tea, do they?
saying it's not a big deal, we will adapt, we will make MAGICAL CARBON-DEVOURING TREES, etc.
Key quote: "If one quarter of the world's forests were replanted with carbon-eating varieties of the same species, the forests would be preserved as ecological resources and as habitats for wildlife, and the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere would be reduced by half in about fifty years."
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2008/jun/12/the-question-of-global-warming/?page=2
Which is a bit "oh dear me", to be honest. You can't just clearcut the entire Amazon, replant it with GM carbon-eating trees, and expect all the rest of the ecosystem to spring back...
It is difficult to imagine, that a nation which began, at least in part, as the result of opposition to British colonial rule and in armed conflict with British military forces would have set out to create a government with the power to assemble a traditional armed military of its own.
It is difficult to imagine...would have set out to create a government with the power to force people to buy tea in the first place.
I suspect it isn't worthwhile to try to talk to people who can't follow that sentence.
No, he was not saying the British forced us to buy tea.
Maybe it is just dishonesty and lack of integrity, which used to be only the practice of Republicans, but since the election of Obama, has become universal.
which used to be only the practice of Republicans
Indeed, prior to 2009, the entire Democratic Party operated with nothing but honesty and integrity.
398: well, they didn't, of course, hence that line in the Constitution about how you're not allowed to appropriate more than two years' worth of your army budget at once.
It is difficult to imagine, that a nation which began, at least in part, as the result of armed resistance to a policy designed to stop drug smugglers would have set out to create a government with the power to create an anti-drug smuggling force of its own.
(Yes, tea is a drug. Part of the reason for colonial opposition to the Townshend taxes was that they would make legal tea much cheaper for ordinary Americans to buy, and would thus - intentionally - put hardworking American tea smugglers out of business.)
I've just reread 399 and realised that I have just been personally scorned by bob. O great wonder and gladness! For now all my dreams have come true!
397: Wow. Why stop there? If a quarter of the world's fuel-burning devices were replaced with...if a quarter of the world's cities were replaced with...easy-peasy!
Before the election of Obama, I used to spend much less time commenting on the internet.
Not that there is a causal relationship there.
Daa-aad! I need help with my homework!
405: well, yes. I think the huge giant sunshade would be several orders of magnitude easier and more likely to work.
All you need to cut insolation by 1% is of the order of 1m square kilometres of sunshade; that's only 100,000 tonnes of material into orbit. Five hundred launches of a heavy-lift rocket, or half a million rounds from a Babylon Gun. Less, if you found lighter materials. Piece of cake.
Indeed, prior to 2009, the entire Democratic Party operated with nothing but honesty and integrity.
Not just the Democratic Party, Apo. The entire non-Republican population, universally.
409: I don't really care what the problem is as long as the solution is "build a Babylon Gun."
Oooh, ooh, post-fodder suggestion: Give Away More Money, Damnit, and Don't Whine. Discussed a bit here, though I feel like I wrote my comments through a fog of ... fogginess.
You can't just clearcut the entire Amazon, replant it with GM carbon-eating trees
WHY THE HELL NOT?
I'm actually a little disturbed at the direction the troll control measures are taking these last couple of days. Making someone a figure of fun is one thing, but... these last several are kind of gross.
kind of gross
Welcome to the internet, AG.
I prefer to troll using vinyl. Digital trolling doesn't have the right sound.
366: I don't get it.
There's a horse in it.
413: I find myself wondering about how he plans to pay for retirement, but maybe that's just a very US-centric concern.
417: Analogue trolling from vinyl just has that warmth to it, ya know?
418: I preferred 376 (even with its curious numbering), but thanks. I guess.
There's a horse in it outsidethe hospital.
Give Away More Money, Damnit, and Don't Whine. Discussed a bit here, though I feel like I wrote my comments through a fog of ... fogginess.
I found the discussion more interesting than the original article despite (or because of) the fogginess.
I think there are a number of elements of the question that are messier than Ord makes them out to be, but I think you're also correct to say that the challenge that he makes is, "can you make a commitment to action, at some level, while continuing to debate the messy parts as you desire?"
Give Away More Money, Damnit, and Don't Whine.
I got involved with some fundraising stuff at church recently, and was pretty amazed at how many folks, rich and not-rich, really do seem to "tithe" by giving away 10% of their income to charity (not just the church). I mean, it's not like I have forensic accountants checking up and it's possible that everyone is lying, but a lot of people really do seem to do this.
Personally, I'm not even remotely close to that level -- I don't think I come anywhere close to 5%, even including political donations.
My immediate reaction, inspired by your discussion with phoebe, would be something along the lines of the following.
1) How we spend/distribute money is learned behavior. Talking about ideal behavior based on first principles is interesting as a rhetorical/logical exercise but doesn't describe how people behave.
2) People generally work from a constrained set of choices (do I buy X or Y or nothing vs do I buy something from A to ZZ or nothing), and this is a pretty fundamental part of how people make decisions.
2a) My own personal experience with money is that I start with some universe of "pre-approved" spending possibilities that I've considered sufficiently that, when those possibilities come up, I know that I am comfortable spending money on those items as a general category and that I need only ask, "do I want this now?" rather than "is this the sort of thing I want to spending money on at all?" (take "lunch" or "CDs" as examples of things that fall into that category).
Outside of that category I spend a while on "is this the sort of thing I want to spending money on at all?" even if the amount of money is small (for example I recently bought a new pair of dress socks and I only did that because I had a pressing need. Absent a pressing need my default is just to not spend money on dress socks, and I don't even get to the point of weighing cost/utility/value.
2b) For me it takes effort to add new categories of goods into the category of things I'm comfortable spending money on (this is one of the reasons I don't travel much. I end up overthinking all the travel expenses).
2c) For me charitable giving largely falls outside of the "pre-approved" spending category.
I think this reflects badly on me, and that I'd be a better person if I made the effort to think of charitable giving as one of the standard categories of ways to use money.
2d) However, my typical mental heuristics for deciding, "yes this is an approved category" don't work well for charity because the way I normally do that it, "make a couple of purchases as an experiment and then see how I feel about it." That works great for many things ("wow, spending money on bike stuff is worth it" or "I don't regret spending money on my computer, but it doesn't seem to offer as much value as the bike stuff did."). It's harder to get feedback from charitable giving to close that feedback look of "experiment" --< "examine.
I'm not making an argument for or against this, just trying to think through my own personal mental process. But I suspect that I'm not the only person who runs into that hurdle.
was pretty amazed at how many folks, rich and not-rich, really do seem to "tithe" by giving away 10% of their income to charity
Following up on 426, one of the other useful ways to arrive at, "this is a good thing to spend money on" is a sense that everybody does it.
NickS gets the general model exactly right. I for example can spend $2 on coffee quite regularly but would rather walk 15 blocks than pay a $1.75 ATM fee.
426-8: Yeah, I agree that making charity a serious part of one's budget means somehow reworking the kind of thing it's taken to be. Which is part of what I like about Ord's approach--he seems to get this, and the idea of a public commitment to >=10% seems solid, because a) nice round # and b) the Mormons do it.
Incidentally, I think Sausagely would be a good guy to promote this stuff, since he's already signed on as being on board with the basic commitments, and I think he's better at PR than Ord. If any regulars are still tight with him, you should totally suggest he do this. Much better than his "I'm going to give $100 to a poor person today" pledge.
Yeah, I agree that making charity a serious part of one's budget means somehow reworking the kind of thing it's taken to be. Which is part of what I like about Ord's approach--he seems to get this, and the idea of a public commitment to >=10% seems solid, because a) nice round # and b) the Mormons do it.
I think that the second sentence isn't a satisfying response to the problem posed in the first sentence (what kind of thing is charity?).
I say this in part because when I wrote my comment I was thinking about your observation in the linked thread:
1. I'll concede that insofar as you're a demographic that should be winnable for Ord--securely UMC in expected-life-chances, aware of the problems, not yet accustomed to living richly--the fact that his pitch failed so badly with you is, itself, a sign he needs to work on it.
I see that as an important idea to follow up on -- for selfish reasons if nothing else since that seems to be my personal stumbling block as well.
Well, okay. I don't mean he's hit upon anything particularly game-changing. But two key aspects are publicity and concreteness, and his pledge idea has that going for it. The goal is to get it so people think of their net income as minus not only taxes but also 'tithing'; I'd be interested in seeing research on what makes different religions (or different Mormon congregations), for example, more successful at raising compliance rates.
426 2d) However, my typical mental heuristics for deciding, "yes this is an approved category" don't work well for charity because the way I normally do that it, "make a couple of purchases as an experiment and then see how I feel about it." That works great for many things ("wow, spending money on bike stuff is worth it" or "I don't regret spending money on my computer, but it doesn't seem to offer as much value as the bike stuff did."). It's harder to get feedback from charitable giving to close that feedback look of "experiment" --
I think this is a good point. When one gives to charity, the money just sort of disappears and then don't hear anything about it -- or maybe you start getting lots of newsletters and junk mail and requests for more money. So there's no reward to reinforce the behavior.
I've started donating modest monthly amounts to a few charities, and don't really notice the money being gone, so probably should start adding more charities to the list or increasing the amounts.
I've started donating modest monthly amounts to a few charities, and don't really notice the money being gone, so probably should start adding more charities to the list or increasing the amounts.
Wouldn't it be more efficient just to request a salary reduction instead? If your were paid less, that would increase your company's profitability, which would increase the returns to shareholders, which through the magic of trickle-down economics and rising tides will make the poor better off. And that way there wouldn't be any administrative expenses from the charity getting in the way--the full extent of your salary reduction would be available to help the needy.
maybe you start getting lots of newsletters and junk mail and requests for more money. So there's no reward to reinforce the behavior.
You know, I hadn't ever thought of it that way, but I perceive the charity-related junk mail as a penalty for donating -- I feel guilty every time I see something, and I end up kind of hating the charity, so I stop giving them money. This is really, really stupid, isn't it.
I should start giving money only online, and withholding my paper address. Spam doesn't make me feel guilty the way paper does.
434: Now you're just messing with us.
436: Why do you hate job creation?
434: Suddenly I feel much better about the hefty pay cut I might be (semi-voluntarily) taking next year.
438: right. My salary was basically cut in half last year, but I treat the pay cut as a charitable contribution for tax purposes, which helps.
This thread has led me to discover that although my household gives little to charity, we do manage to spend 120% of our income.
I should probably get a job.
413 and following: My first impulse on seeing the Phoebe blog invoked was to be dismissive, I'm afraid. Trapnel does a good job interrogating her, and y'all are grand to take her point about what it takes to convince self-involved people that helping others is not only morally desirable but economically advantageous seriously.
The Slow Food movement went through a PR thought process like this, as I recall, and decided that it had to make slow food cool before it had any chance of making inroads with the UMC.
430.2 has a point, much as it pains me to say it.
What is it about that Phoebe blog that is so annoying? I can never quite put my finger on it.
Also, why is Trapnel wasting his time there instead of eating sausages, pursuing German women, and writing nonsense to justify stealing from creative people?
What is it about that Phoebe blog that is so annoying?
Based on that post and comments she comes across as having an incredible sense of entitlement.
But she doesn't come across as dumb, and that's something.
442: What is it about that Phoebe blog that is so annoying? I can never quite put my finger on it.
Do you read it often enough to have tried to put your finger on it?
443: But she doesn't come across as dumb
Erm. Well, it takes her a while to figure out what her point might be, how's that? I get the idea that if she's not pressed, she'd be content to be somewhat flip, and let that pass for intelligent thought. Not to be too mean.
Is she the one who wrote the post complaining about Michelle Obama dressing her kids in J.Crew or whatever? I'm not sure. I've only read Phoebe one other time, when she was linked here, and I'm thinking that was the post.
442: writing nonsense to justify stealing from creative people
By the way, Halford, I don't know if you saw that there was a Holbo post on Crooked Timber recently on intellectual property, touching on some of the same issues that came up here.
Further to 445: I should add that I didn't read the thread, so for all I know you commented in it.
Erm. Well, it takes her a while to figure out what her point might be, how's that? I get the idea that if she's not pressed, she'd be content to be somewhat flip, and let that pass for intelligent thought. Not to be too mean.
A UChicago alum who's not intellectual? That can't be!
447: I don't get it. She's a UChicago alum? Okay.
Hey, it turns out that Crooked Timber thread isn't half bad. The conceptual apparatus involved in IP theory remains new to me (alienability, for example), but it's interesting. I should probably read the thread forward rather than backward, however.
435: I have thought of calling the organizations I give to and pleading not to be sent paper mail. Every time I see it I think "why did you spend my money on this instead of actually doing stuff?"
My cousin does a yearly fundraiser for people in his profession with AIDS and HIV, and I thought I was being great by kicking in $50 each year. Jammies' cousin is being basically conned by Campus Crusaders for Christ, and was hitting up her family for money, and Jammies let me know that he felt obligated to contribute, since she was in a fix.
Months later, I happened to ask Jammies how much we'd donated to CCC, and I was totally horrified that we donated $100. The lesson is that Jammies and I operate on wildly different increments of money. Next year, though, the AIDS folks are definitely getting $101.
Well, I kind of suspect that the only reason her blog has any substantial readership is that it arose during a time when a lot of U of C undergrads who were at least loosely socially connected to each other were blogging. I remember her blog being advertised, or linked to a lot, or something, by the Crescat collective back when they were fairly popular.
Next year, though, the AIDS folks are definitely getting $101.
That should fix that virus.
451: Ah. Got it. I guess that explains a few things.
Those were the days. I always wondered if "Assprat Pretentia" was written by anyone I knew.
455: Great name. I have no idea of any of it, though. Never heard of the Crescat collective.
To 445, I have some thoughts, but life is too short to comment on Crooked Timber threads, and, while I'm sure JH is a good guy who I'd likely agree with 98% of the time, there is something about his internet writing style that drives me crazy and makes me think unpleasant thoughts, so I am studiously avoiding caring about that post.
I was kinda hoping that everyone involved in Crescat Sententia would have been executed by a benevolent dictator by now, but life is full of disappointment.
Aggh, what is wrong with me. I am not a crank who hates everyone! Must learn to live without contempt.
I was unfamiliar with both Crescat Sententia and Assprat Pretentia, but am fairly certain that I know the author of the latter. Huh.
Jeez, Halford, I didn't realize I'd touched such a nerve.
I have some thoughts, but life is too short to comment on Crooked Timber threads
I think of Crooked Timber as being like Unfogged in a business suit. Or Unfogged is CT in an open necked shirt. Not sure which.
I always thought of Unfogged as CT in assless chaps.
OTOH the main assless chap hasn't been around for a while.
OTOH the main assless chap hasn't been around for a while.
Yes, maybe these days just CT in a clown suit.
I don't really care what the problem is as long as the solution is "build a Babylon Gun."
Unfortunately, the only problem that has historically been solved by building a Babylon Gun is the problem: "I am breathing too regularly and have not yet met any employees of the Mossad's wetwork division".
Dating always has problems, relationships are about problems and sorting them out.
