Re: Christian Rudder is running me amok

1

Didn't Pitchfork give OKCupid about a three-and-a-half?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 11:57 AM
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nonplussed +1


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 11:58 AM
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By which I mean that I, too, am astounded to learn this.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 11:59 AM
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Weird. When I've mentioned Bishop Allen to people who don't know them, I've had success telling them they were the band playing the show that Nick and Nora meet at in the movie, which usually garners an "Oh right!" reaction. This seems like relevant information or something.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:08 PM
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Also each of the central duo has appeared in at least one (1) mumblecore flick.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:15 PM
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I have no idea what any of you is talking about.

Carry on.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:24 PM
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I quite like The Monitor.

To the linked article, I'd think there's less risk of match.com trying to shunt OKC users over to the subscriber site, and more likelihood of them just trying to emulate the facebook model of using a huge pool of free users to sell personal info to marketers. I mean, I assumed that OKC was doing that already, and match.com saw it as the future of internet dating site profitability.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:26 PM
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bishop allen drive is a street in cambridge, ma. i guess they lived there. my mom lived there in the 70s but it had a different name then! i guess bishop allen was a modern bishop.

you coulda learned that from wikipedia (well not the part about my mom) but you heard it first from me. something new i just learned on wikipedia is that the bishop allen guys also used to play in a Devo cover band! i think i saw them in about 1997, if it was the Devo cover band called (wait for it) Devo.

i for one am surprised and disappointed to learn that okc was sold to match. hope they don't ruin it the way adultfriendfinder ruined springstreet networks!


Posted by: ursyne | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:27 PM
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4: I would have liked that movie if it hadn't had the grossest scene I can think of in any movie. (I acknowledge that the bar is set low since I mostly try to watch movies about people being sad and talking about it.)


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:28 PM
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I have no idea what any of you is talking about.

All threads are always already being about Being and Time.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:30 PM
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the grossest scene I can think of in any movie

Wait. Which scene?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:31 PM
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11 It involved gum. And a toilet.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:32 PM
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I think his input to OKC was mostly coming up with the original quizzes that were on The Spark. Also, he was in a band as an undergraduate called "The Pissed Officers."


Posted by: El Señor Presidente | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:38 PM
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the band playing the show that Nick and Nora meet at in the movie

So in The Thin Man?

No, I do know the movie you mean, but I can't remember why I watched it or whether I enjoyed it or what band was playing.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:43 PM
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I acknowledge that the bar is set low

And how, Smearcase. And how.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:45 PM
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All threads are always already being about Being and Time.

I had an argument with x.trapnel about that just recently. We decided on comity, after he said he had no idea what I was talking about.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:56 PM
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+h


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:58 PM
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16 cont'd: That's not really how it went.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 12:58 PM
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5 gets it exactly right. I have never heard of this band except in promotional materials for films.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 1:00 PM
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I think his input to OKC was mostly coming up with the original quizzes that were on The Spark. Also, he was in a band as an undergraduate called "The Pissed Officers."

According to that Atlantic article he also wrote for OkTrends, specifically the very piece slamming Match.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 1:16 PM
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I wished I'd saved a copy of some of the weirder OKC messages I got. A lot of one word things, like, "'Sup?" And my absolute favorite was an unsolicited message that said only, "I drive a black '03 Toyota Tacoma."

Okay. I bet you do.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 1:22 PM
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Annals of Online Dating.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 1:23 PM
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oOh, I own a song by the Pissed-Officers. On a compilation I bought for the Fat Day content. Fat Day had a song called "Bishop Allen Drive".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 1:27 PM
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I wished I'd saved a copy of some of the weirder OKC messages I got. A lot of one word things, like, "'Sup?"

My favorite one of those was, "Dive Bar?" To be fair, I probably would have answered "sure" if I had been remotely potentially interested.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 2:17 PM
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Oh, that's the only reason I ever joined OKCupid, as a show of support. Actually, I was a fan of his back in college when he was the editor/humor writer for TheSpark.com, creating such short-lived internet hits as the 'Date My Sister Project' and 'Stinky Feet Project.' But Christian was also a math major and programmer, and I think some of his input behind both TheSpark and OKCupid was the actual guts. I'm sad they've sold to Match, b/c they were superior and a lot more fun, but I had a feeling they wouldn't be able to compete with Match's much bigger visibility.


Posted by: Saheli | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 2:36 PM
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I'm sad they've sold to Match, b/c they were superior and a lot more fun

What you said. I've always said Match was the homeland for guys who list "working out" as their first interest, say idiotic things like "I'm just a guy who happens to like other guys" and talk about how they're just looking for someone normal.* I remember reading the phrase "Blockbuster evenings" a lot back when that had a referent. Which is one of those "yes that's fun but people who prominently state their liking for it are often boring" dealios.

OKCupid had some weirdos but the quotient of indistinguishable boring people was low. And, relatedly, I met my boyfriend there.

*other bingo items included "I hate drama" which I don't think anyone says but that s/he's a big old drama queen, "tired of playing games" ("even Yahtzee?!") and "tired of the bar scene" to which my objection is slightly harder to explain since gay bars are in fact fucking awful.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:09 PM
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"Sometimes I feel like, you know, I go to a bar, and then it turns out it's all full of guys who like other guys, and okay, that's me too, but with them it's, like, on purpose. And then they want to play Celebrity and I'm like nooooo and they don't even seem to notice that I'm crying so I go the gym where at least I can cry in peace."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:12 PM
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Weeping on the Elliptical is the title of the 3rd volume of my memoirs.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:16 PM
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I was amused by the number of people on OKC who feel it necessary to inform that they're "for real", whatever that means.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:26 PM
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According to that Atlantic article he also wrote for OkTrends, specifically the very piece slamming Match.

But Christian was also a math major and programmer, and I think some of his input behind both TheSpark and OKCupid was the actual guts.

I'm probably wrong all around, other than the fact that he was in the Pissed Officers.


Posted by: El Señor Presidente | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:29 PM
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Yahtzee does not look like a tremendous amount of fun.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:31 PM
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Stanley I like to imagine it has something to do with the Lacanian real. Or maybe the Virginia Reel, and they're just bad spellers. Like if you were to start playing the fiddle they'd be all "Is that a reel?! I'm fer it!"


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:37 PM
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31: I know, poor visual design.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:40 PM
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32: Or maybe they're prostitutes who prefer payment in Brazilian currency.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:40 PM
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I was amused to get a message on OkCupid from a European string theorist, asking for details about my research interests.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:41 PM
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I feel quite kindly toward OKC at the moment, seeing as how it connected me with my beloved. I'm not thrilled thinking about all of my personal data in the hands of corporate America, but perhaps the fact that I deleted my profile a few weeks back will mitigate that slightly.

I imagine there is room for someone to write a really interesting sociological study about levels of trust, and what people feel comfortable disclosing to which companies online, despite the fact that it often ends up in the same place in the end.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:44 PM
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I'm sad they've sold to Match, b/c they were superior and a lot more fun

Also on board with this. I've never done much with it beyond answering questions and filling out profiles (that is, I've sent about ten messages over, I dunno, 4 years), but I always planned to, once I felt ready to affirmatively seek out people to date. Sigh.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:52 PM
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I feel quite kindly toward OKC at the moment, seeing as how it connected me with my beloved.

Is this news? I don't remember a prior mention.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:54 PM
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I had an argument with x.trapnel about [being and time] just recently. We decided on comity, after he said he had no idea what I was talking about.

Maybe Ogged will come back if we restart the reading group.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 3:58 PM
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OKC must be way more popular on the coasts than it is in flyover country based on the descriptions I see here vs the actual experience of using it where I am.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 4:06 PM
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Is this news? I don't remember a prior mention.

I don't think I've mentioned it here, no. There's been a lot going on, including the death of my grandfather, and I haven't been here as much as I once was.

At any rate, score one for OKC and geekhood; I feel very lucky to have met him despite the generally poor timing all around.

Oh, and private souls take heart: My profile never even had a picture, so we got to the first-date stage on the strength of words alone, at least from one end.


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 4:09 PM
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Maybe they're using voice recognition software and they're four eels. Would explain why they're not typing. Eels don't have fingers.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 4:19 PM
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I feel quite kindly toward OKC at the moment, seeing as how it connected me with my beloved.

Congratulations! Love seems to be looking up in general on Unfogged.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 4:30 PM
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41.last: Oh, and private souls take heart: My profile never even had a picture, so we got to the first-date stage on the strength of words alone, at least from one end.

I do take heart from this. And congratulations, Witt, as well as condolences regarding your grandfather.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:03 PM
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W(00+it)t


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:06 PM
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OKC must be way more popular on the coasts than it is in flyover country based on the descriptions I see here vs the actual experience of using it where I am.

This is indeed the case, at least judging from my experience.

I feel quite kindly toward OKC at the moment, seeing as how it connected me with my beloved.

Yay! Congrats.

Personally I'm not all that into online dating right now, and I've been considering deleting my OkCupid profile. This news about it being sold to Match may be what inspires me to actually do it, in much the same way that my bank in NM being taken into FDIC receivership is making me finally think about closing my account there that I basically never use anymore.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:08 PM
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my okc date just canceled our date over email, with 2 hours notice!

that's ok. i gots another one on the back burner. another grad student though. <ominous strains/>


Posted by: ursyne | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:09 PM
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On the other hand, I just logged into OKC for the first time in a while and saw that I had a message asking my opinion on Jared Diamond.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:12 PM
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DOOOOOM! at least we have cargo.


Posted by: ursyne | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:14 PM
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47: If it's any consolation, I ended up cancelling my first meet-up with Thundersnow via text message mere hours before the agreed-upon time. I realized that meeting a potential romantic interest at a rock show that I was playing and that was to be attended by a bunch of friends and my parents was just a bit much. (She was perfectly understanding, and we ended up hanging out the following day, finding five dollars after five dollars.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:17 PM
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Grad students are the best.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:19 PM
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||

I had no idea it got this crazy:

Punxsutawney Phil fans say that there is only one Phil (all the other groundhog weathermen are impostors), and that he has made weather prognostications for over 121 years as of 2011. They say that every summer, Phil is given a sip of the mysterious Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years. This is done by Inner Circle members. According to the Groundhog Club, Phil, after making the prediction, speaks to the Club President in "Groundhogese", which only the Inner Circle appear to understand, and then his prediction is translated for the entire world.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:29 PM
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another grad student though.

Really, what's that about?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:30 PM
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6: I have no idea what any of you is talking about.

Mumblecore is a genre of pornography that features--leading up to, and following, sex scenes--insecure young men trying to talk about their feelings while mostly avoiding eye-contact and proper enunciation.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:52 PM
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another grad student though.
Really, what's that about?

Not to get too meta with the comment-thread crossover, but the 'Violet' text-adventure game addresses at least some reasons for wariness. See also Piled Higher & Deeper, passim.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:57 PM
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50: thanks, that's heartening i guess! but you seem to be a rock star... this guy just had to work late unexpectedly? i was nice about being willing to reschedule though so we'll see.

51,53: no i mean post-graduate study is admirable, but the guy who broke my heart last year was in the lab ALL THE TIME and was consumed with worry about ever finishing his degree. i wasn't demanding about time; just eventually i wanted him to love me, and he didn't. but that seemed (to me anyway) related to how his relationship with himself was damaged by school, his advisor, etc. i know that sounds self-serving.

in our breakup conversation he did note his lack of time and attention and then bemoaned his situation: "it's not a cheerful thought that i probably won't really be able to have a relationship until i'm done with school". i found that pretty infuriating to hear right then! i really really cared about him.

anyway i believe there are grad students who have their shit more together and hey, maybe if it's gonna work it can work despite crazy schedules, but i do have this baggage...


Posted by: ursyne | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:58 PM
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Love seems to be looking up in general on Unfogged.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 5:59 PM
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52: Oh yeah, it's pretty special. Groundhogs live in droves around here now, but they are one of those "edge habitat" animals that got a huge boost from European human settlement patterns especially recent exurban/surburban/abandoned farmlands mosaics.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:00 PM
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yeah, I know, this cannot stand. We seriously need to get Emerson back.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:01 PM
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The Mime: Let me tell you about love. Love disappears, baby! Every time I've been broke, the babe's been off like a prom dress.
Female co-passenger: Maybe it's the women you choose?
The Mime: Hey! Maybe I've been hurt! And maybe I've been dumped!


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:06 PM
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56: I guess it's true that grad students can be involved with their work, and that if you're not one yourself, or are not involved in your own work, or not interested in theirs, the relationship could break down.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:11 PM
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54 is excellent.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:12 PM
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I love how casually Stormcrow talks about the many social forces behind peak groundhog. Oh, one of those habitats; of course.

Love seems to be looking up in general on Unfogged.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yes. THIS. And of course I double super hate Valentine's Day this year. But also: yay for the rest of you, genuinely. It's so fun. I'd like to sweetly demand some liveblogging.

And hey, ursyne - you don't sound self-serving, in my opinion. At all, really. You sound...remarkably level headed about the whole thing. Actually. For whatever that's worth?


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:14 PM
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Yeah, I know, this cannot stand. We seriously need to get Emerson back

Where is your petition that I might sign it.

The worst part is that my friend finally decided to just pay up on the bet that I am undateble so while I got $120 out of the deal I can no longer take solace in the fact that I might be alone, but at least I was making money off it.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:15 PM
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64: That is...dark.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:19 PM
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Yeah, I know, this cannot stand. We seriously need to get Emerson back.

I hate to break it to you, but Emerson left because he would up in a relationship and was ashamed to tell us.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:19 PM
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Between 64, 66, and the fact that it's 3am here, I think it's time for bed. Tomorrow's a new day! Yessirree!


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:22 PM
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54 is excellent.

I actually hadn't clicked through to the wikipedia link defining Mumblecore, but had just taken trapnel's explanation as definitive. Having now clicked through, it's clear that he should add to the wikipedia article.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:23 PM
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54 is awesome except that it makes mumblecore sound way, way better than it has a right to.

But The League has its moments.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:25 PM
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64: The worst part is that my friend finally decided to just pay up on the bet that I am undateble so while I got $120 out of the deal I can no longer take solace in the fact that I might be alone, but at least I was making money off it.

Your friend probably just got tired of the game. Why would he/she want you to try to be undateable, just to win a bet?

How's the weather over there, by the way?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:33 PM
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69: The scene in The League in which the man responds to the woman's criticisms with a repeated, tentative "I love you?" is uncomfortably familiar.

Also the ghost monkey.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:33 PM
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71: You guys are just recounting a fast-forwarded, slightly more grown up, version of the "On a Hotdog" video, aren't you?

Maybe we need to see that On a Hotdog thing again. But I don't remember, at all, in what context it came up. An Ogged post, I think.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:38 PM
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56 "it's not a cheerful thought that i probably won't really be able to have a relationship until i'm done with school".

Personally, I figure I can start a relationship around the time I get tenure.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:39 PM
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Is this really a common view? That grad students are in a poor position to be in relationships?

I, uh, think I'll leave it at that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:49 PM
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74- I don't know that it's conventional wisdom— the issue had never occurred to me before being on okc. But okc is (or was) composed mostly of grad students, and the grad student thing ursyne's talking about was very true in my experience there.

I hate to break it to you, but Emerson left because he would up in a relationship and was ashamed to tell us.

If Halford pays urple for a dinner at a fancy restaurant, can we get the secret liveblogging transcripts?


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:53 PM
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Why would he/she want you to try to be undateable, just to win a bet?

Who needs to try? It isn't like I managed to get any dates in the 10 years before I made the bet.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:54 PM
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I'm sad they've sold to Match, b/c they were superior and a lot more fun

Am I remembering correctly (or is it still the case) that Match has a category up with the vital stats for income? That alone was enough to drive me away from it, back in my online dating days. That's the kind of think I actually don't want to know about someone before I meet him.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:55 PM
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74: My 73 certainly wasn't meant to be serious.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:56 PM
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That's the kind of think I actually don't want to know about someone before I meet him.

And it's a good think, too.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:58 PM
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79: You thing so?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:59 PM
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81

Hurray, Witt!


Posted by: Penny | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:59 PM
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75: But okc is (or was) composed mostly of grad students, and the grad student thing ursyne's talking about was very true in my experience there.

You mean the grad student thing ursyne's talking about whereby grad students are so busy with work that they don't have time for a relationship?

OKC grad students must be a particular sort, then.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 6:59 PM
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OKC must be way more popular on the coasts than it is in flyover country based on the descriptions I see here vs the actual experience of using it where I am.

This was my experience. About a third of the OKC contestants near me I already knew, another third I had no interest in, and the last third seemed unlikely to have any interest in me. To be honest, I found the whole thing a little grim.

Anyway, I don't suppose I gave OKC any more personal data than I've given to Facebook--and probably much less--so I'm not too concerned with how it gets used now.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:00 PM
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the OKC contestants

It's always an exciting new season on Who Wants To Date Populuxe?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:01 PM
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78: I didn't actually think it was, since I have a sense of you. These other people I don't know what to make of.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:02 PM
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Match has a category up with the vital stats for income?

They do. I am almost certain that OKC does as well though.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:03 PM
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86: Yes. Which lots of people mark as $1,000,000+, because this is a clever thing to do that no one has ever thought of before!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:05 PM
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Huh, sure enough. I think I must have been thinking of nerve, which almost certainly didn't have you list your income.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:08 PM
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#84. Just wait 'til sweeps week!


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:08 PM
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90

Yes to 82. Mind you, it's perfectly possible that they did not have time for me, in particular.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:11 PM
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I think the income thing is useful. Because for people for whom it's important that I not be poor, it's good that they know that I'm poor right away and move on.

And you can always leave it blank.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:38 PM
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OKC also has an income section, but it's optional.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:40 PM
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91: I guess I agree that it's useful. Those for whom it's important will presumably skip not only the poor but also those who leave the question blank.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 7:46 PM
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Oh, and private souls take heart: My profile never even had a picture, so we got to the first-date stage on the strength of words alone, at least from one end.

That *is* heartening. Congrats!


Posted by: Saheli | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 9:51 PM
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First, yaay Witt. Also, Stanley. Let's pretend they met each other on okcupid and have been keeping it secret all this time.

in the lab ALL THE TIME

Humanities grad students generally don't have this problem.

Also, didn't commenters meet and marry during the Emerson era? I think his effect has been overstated.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 2-11 10:30 PM
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didn't commenters meet and marry during the Emerson era?

Yes, but we told him it was a fiction to salvage our noble family's land holdings and professional golf career, respectively.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 3-11 6:01 AM
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Is this really a common view? That grad students are in a poor position to be in relationships?

I think they make a little wedge-shaped pillow for that. Slips right under the bum.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 02- 3-11 12:22 PM
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