Re: Wrecked him?!

1

Presumably the same natural human tendency towards constant experimentation that led to cheese, civet coffee, and silk.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 8:58 AM
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2

Gah!


Posted by: Bonsaisue | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:03 AM
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3

Well, it was the style at the time.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:05 AM
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4

Do people try this with colicky babies, too? Maybe a scallion?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:07 AM
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5

Yesterday, I learned that some horse owners attempt to cure a colicky horse by inserting an onion into the horse's rectum

Your relationship seems to be going well.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:10 AM
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6

4: garlic salt and a repurposed neti pot.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:11 AM
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7

Huh, horse colic and baby colic seem to have absolutely no relation to one another.

Of course if you shoved a scallion up your babies butt the crying wouldn't be unexplained anymore so maybe you could say it was cured.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:13 AM
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8

I seem to recall -- from something emdash, maybe, posted elsewhere? -- that baby colic is actually a total mystery, and no one knows what causes it. Is this true?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:16 AM
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that baby colic is actually a total mystery, and no one knows what causes it. Is this true?

According to Wikipedia that would be the defining characteristic. Basically boughts of intense crying for no discernible reason.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:19 AM
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10

Lady Diana Cooper, playing the BVM, no less, during her stage career, obviously had to spend quite a lot of time on stage carrying a baby. Everybody noticed that the baby never cried or became obstreperous during these scenes, and eventually they asked her how she managed this.

"Oh it's easy," quoth she, "I just keep my finger up his arse."

Which seems to suggest that the scallion proposal might be worth trying.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 9:40 AM
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11

And in 10 short comments we see how the mentalist checklist works to get to stick an onion up its butt.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 10:12 AM
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12

mentalist


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 10:15 AM
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13

Checklists with mentalities.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 10:16 AM
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14

|| NMM: Gary Moore |>


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 10:21 AM
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15

I've been watching the BBC's Human Planet series, which is basically a bunch of documentaries about hunter-gatherers living in various inhospitable places (arctic, desert, jungle, etc), and this is the thing that keeps bowling me over throughout: how did they figure all this shit out? Like, if you drop a bit of venom from a certain snake in your eyes, it will sharpen up your eyesight for the hunt. How much deadly fucking up was necessary to figure that out and get it right? 10s of thousands of years, I guess.


Posted by: glowingquaddamage | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 10:24 AM
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16

This needs investigating. Imagine if it lead to a series of treatments for a whole range of maladies?

"What do you do for night terrors?"
"Chamomile."
"C'mon, something that works."
"Chamomile in the ass."


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:04 PM
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17

playing the BVM

Is this an established abbreviation? I managed to work it out after a minute, but I don't recall seeing it before.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:05 PM
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18

Yeah, I still don't get it.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:16 PM
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19

Baron von Munchausen

Box-van Marty

Bolero's Vigorous Manhood

Box of Vaginal Matchsticks


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:21 PM
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20

Okay, I'm just kidding. It really means "Butthead Virgin Mary".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:21 PM
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21

Stanley, after mentioning onion suppositories, did anybody suggest snipe hunting?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:21 PM
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22

21: You wouldn't believe where I was supposed to look for the snipes.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 1:48 PM
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23

My dad always refers contemptuously to the BV.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 3:19 PM
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24

Well, you could find Wesley Snipes in jail, right? Are there any other Snipes of note?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 5:58 PM
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My dad always refers contemptuously to the BV.

FAMILY QUARRELS CAN BE SO PAINFUL.


Posted by: OPINIONATED JESUS | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 6:00 PM
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26

Teenage guys try all kinds of stupid dangerous skit. Might be useful for the tribe on the veldt


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 6:12 PM
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27

26: No skit.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 6:20 PM
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28

the BVM
Bowel von Movement


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 7:29 PM
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29

British Vamp Madonna


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 7:32 PM
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30

Bowel Vowel Movement: when you pop?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 8:05 PM
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31

Boil Voile Mohel: the unorthodox sterile cloth circumcisionist.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 8:11 PM
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32

My dad always refers contemptuously to the BV.

He'd be more sympathetic if he had a vagina of his own.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 8:13 PM
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33

10 is especially good if you keep that anecdote in mind as you look at her hand in the pic at the top of her wikipedia page.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 02- 7-11 4:48 PM
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34

re: 26

It continues into adulthood, I think. Viz, friends drinking 'tequila stuntmen'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02- 7-11 5:01 PM
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35

I wonder if teenage boys are responsible for this sandwich. Or maybe high people.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 7-11 5:10 PM
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36

33: that was really what I took from the anecdote.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02- 7-11 5:24 PM
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37


I'm reminded of a joke about a cross-eyed cow, two farmers and a length of garden hose.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 02- 8-11 12:46 PM
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38


I'm reminded of an old joke about a cross-eyed cow, two farmers and a length of garden hose.

"You don't expect me to put my mouth where yours has been, do you?!?"


Posted by: Defunkt | Link to this comment | 02- 8-11 12:51 PM
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39

I heard that as a joke told by a Norwegian about Swedes: "You think I want your germs?"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 02- 8-11 12:57 PM
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40


I like your version better, it's more pithy.


Posted by: Defunkt | Link to this comment | 02- 8-11 9:13 PM
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