Re: Your toothbrush lives there, too, you know.

1

Isn't there a Seinfeld where George is in a bookstore, and takes a book into the bathroom, and then has to buy it?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:22 PM
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C's grandma used to have squares of old phone books by her toilet. Perhaps they thought you might have been *using* it, not reading it.

A home ed friend of mine was doing a bit of a project about water with her daughter, and they were using an aquarium water testing kit to test water from different places, and ended up testing their own urine. She put a photo on her blog of 3 bottles of wee on her table, and apparently had more than one "you put WEE on your TABLE where you EAT!!!!!" response.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:22 PM
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Isn't there a Seinfeld where George is in a bookstore, and takes a book into the bathroom, and then has to buy it?

Probably; lots of bookstores frown on merchandise being taken into the bathroom, but Stanley had already purchased his paper, hadn't he?

Hadn't he?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:24 PM
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I wonder what Stanley's brunchmate thinks of the bathroom-dwelling magazine.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:24 PM
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3 bottles of wee

Micturating in the UK sounds like a lot of fun.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:24 PM
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Stanley had already purchased his paper, hadn't he?

Yes. I'm a dinosaur and still get home delivery. I wonder if she thought I had, like, found it in the bathroom and taken it with me? I hadn't thought of that possible explanation for her grossed-out-ness.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:26 PM
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It is totally wrong and not acceptable to take a bookstore's book into the bathroom, because it is not yours (yet).

Erm, the brunch-mate is a freak of some sort.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:32 PM
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Maybe she thought you were masturbating to it?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:36 PM
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9

Maybe she thought you were masturbating into it?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:37 PM
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10

Dirty things happen in the bathroom, that's true. Everybody knows that.

Stanley: You didn't ask the brunchmate why they were asking? You should have!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:41 PM
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11

Maybe she thought you were masturbating to it?

Can't. Print is dead.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:41 PM
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12

That's why it would be gross, though.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:43 PM
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13

I would have been too stunned at the question to consider asking why she was asking. How...odd.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:44 PM
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11 is great.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:46 PM
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I'm not grossed out by the idea of reading on the toilet, but I don't want there to be a book or magazine that stays in the bathroom. It's a paper + dampness revulsion.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 12:52 PM
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You didn't ask the brunchmate why they were asking?

I did ask her if she had worn her current outfit into the bathroom at any point today, and she joked that nope, she changed clothes every single time she went to the bathroom. And then we had a chuckle and I dropped it, not wanting to be a nag.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:01 PM
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not wanting to be a nag.

Enough with the horse puns dude!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:03 PM
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18

Wait, you were wearing the newspaper?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:03 PM
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I read the newspaper in the shower and each time I finish a page I mash it up with my feet so it goes down the drain.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:03 PM
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18: Duh. Style section, yo.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:04 PM
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Maybe you had a look on your face like you just dropped a deuce. I'm not good at identifying this one, but I think I can tell when a roommate says, "Oh, I just had a great nap," but really they were masturbating.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:05 PM
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22

My toothbrush is actually on my desk.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:10 PM
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23

Mine's in my butt.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:11 PM
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23: Careful, Tweety. That's a good way to get fluorrhoids.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:15 PM
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Seborrheic halitosis


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:19 PM
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Tush thrush.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:25 PM
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27

I love this thread.


Posted by: ursyne | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:29 PM
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I think I can tell when a roommate says, "Oh, I just had a great nap," but really they were masturbating.

Is there no privacy? Is there not mere napping? Are there not things we do not know or say?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:35 PM
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29

11 is indeed great.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:38 PM
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30

11 is indeed great.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:38 PM
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31

I love this thread.

Print it out and leave it next to the toilet. Go on. We won't tell anyone.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:39 PM
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28: Oh, there is napping. We are pro-level nappers here.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:49 PM
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32: I admit that I don't know why napping is so frowned upon in general society.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:51 PM
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34

23: You didn't bring your butt into the bathroom, did you? Did you at least hover?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:53 PM
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35

I admit that I don't know why napping is so frowned upon in general society.

Blame the Puritans first. From there, consider the horrors of mid-nineteenth century Victorian social mores. All that self-control nonsense made people wary of admitting that they had any physical needs at all (for instance, they never brought the newspaper into the bathroom with them, because they never went to the bathroom at all). Maybe?


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 1:56 PM
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36

Victorians had no toilet paper. Only newspaper.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 2:01 PM
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35: Maybe.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 2:05 PM
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38

I live with immigrants. We do not judge nappers (or masturbators).


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 2:16 PM
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39

Judgenappers sitting right there on the bench next to me!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 2:25 PM
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40

I live with immigrants.

Sleeper agents!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 2:27 PM
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41

This thread fills me with pity and fear, and thus fulfills Aristotle's definition of tragedy.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 4:28 PM
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42

I know I'm late to this, but I think reading a book on the toilet is different than reading the newspaper. A book you can read one handed, but a newspaper takes two hands*. It is therefore less sanitary as you can't have one hand for wiping that doesn't touch the reading material.

*I'm assuming a broadsheet paper.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:16 PM
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43

I'm on the fence about newspapers in the bathroom -- I read them and then put them back in the break room, which seems identical to walking into the break room after pooping without washing my hands and touching something other people are going to handle. On the other hand, I have this feeling that not many bacteria are going to live on a completely dry surface like that. Is that true? Do you mostly not have to worry about being contaminated by things that are dry?


Posted by: Noumenon | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:28 PM
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44

Eating a corn dog on the toilet is fine but adding ketchup is an issue.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:37 PM
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45

And soup is way out of line.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:41 PM
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46

Even pea soup?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:44 PM
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Noumenon, if your feces are that dry, isn't pooping painful?
You should see a doctor. I guess if you are a deer or rabbit or guinea pig it's no biggie.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:44 PM
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48

(Hi, I'm twelve.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:45 PM
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49

guinea pig

The preferred term is "wifebeater pig".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:48 PM
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50

isn't pooping painful?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He bought a laxative and made a mental note about how people over 30 aren't supposed to eat Cap'n Crunch and cheese for dinner.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:51 PM
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51

My joke may have been slower and lamer, but it was at least longer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:51 PM
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52

||

hey, oscars thread time, blog people. I want to talk about how kirk douglas looks like an alien.

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:53 PM
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53

||
Kirk Douglas is still alive!?
|>


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:53 PM
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54

53 written independently of 52.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 6:54 PM
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55

I swear I read something almost identical to 43 at least a year ago- might have been on the blog at work, someone complaining about the practice.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 7:00 PM
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hey, oscars thread time, blog people.

Even though you didn't say please, your wish is granted.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 7:01 PM
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57

on it!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 7:02 PM
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58

Indeed, I located the post, from December 1, 2008. We're always at the cutting edge of research here, years ahead of everyone else.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 02-27-11 7:02 PM
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