Re: One time, in a primary, I voted for John Edwards.

1

One time, I got him confused with the guy who talks to dead people on the TV.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:45 AM
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This strikes me as a particularly egregious waste of time, money, and effort.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:48 AM
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let's let the other threads have peace

But I want to talk about bicycles.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:49 AM
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Also, here's a link with content


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:50 AM
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This really does seem like an odd prosecution.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:51 AM
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4: Huh. My link sucked. I added yours to the OP without giving you credit, because I'm a jerk.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:52 AM
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That's OK. I found it in the sidebar of the original link.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:52 AM
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And Dick Cheney remains a free man.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:00 AM
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7: Oh, good.

Anyway, the one time I did vote for John Edwards in a primary, it was almost poll closing time in some bumfuck outer reach of Eric Cantor's district (where the parentals live and I was registered at the time), and I was the third Democratic primary voter of the day. Which just goes to show: Eric Cantor sucks.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:01 AM
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One time, in a primary, I voted for John Edwards.

Racist!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:11 AM
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No more masturbating to Dr. Kevorkian.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:17 AM
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I didn't vote for him, but that's only because he'd dropped out by the time of the NY primary. I did spend a couple weeks freezing my butt off canvassing people in NH and bugging the hell out of them by calling over, and over, and over again.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:30 AM
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Come to think of it, although I was probably just barely eligible, I don't think I voted in the 2000 Dem primary, for which this has nothing about Virginia anyway.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:36 AM
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Why funnel hush money to one's mistress through a political campaign? Aren't there simpler ways?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:43 AM
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15: I think the allegation is that he didn't funnel it through the campaign, but that hush money that went directly from his friends to his mistress with no connection to the campaign should have been considered 'campaign contributions' because without the hush money the campaign would have been in trouble. And so the crime is failing to report the hush money as campaign contributions.

I may be confused, but that's what I think is going on.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:46 AM
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14: His argument is that he didn't. And a former FEC chair agrees with him.

"It is my view that . . . these payments would not be considered to be either campaign contributions or campaign expenditures within the meaning of the campaign finance laws," wrote former FEC chairman Scott E. Thomas.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:47 AM
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15: I think I got that from the descriptions, but is another part of the argument the use of some campaign personnel as bagmen/coordinators between the friends/donors and the recipient? That seems unwise, but perhaps it is easy for a politician to slip into thinking that campaign personnel are personal servants.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:49 AM
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Shouldn't this be a tax violation or something instead? I mean, assuming he didn't declare these massive suspicious looking gifts.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:50 AM
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The legal theory, if I've got it straight, doesn't sound absolutely invalid -- I can see the argument -- but it's clearly not the intent of the campaign finance laws. It's like taxing marijuana so that evading the tax can be a separate crime, because there's no way to pay it without admitting to selling pot.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:51 AM
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I have a conspiracy theory, but somewhat grounded in personal knowledge, that the reason this is being treated as a criminal, as opposed to FEC, matter is that it results from an anti-trial lawye obsession in the DOJ. The folks passing through the money were asbestos plaintiffs lawyers who many now in serious positions of power at DOJ would have had reasons to hate. There may also be a personal desire to destroy Edwards on the part of the Obama inner core.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:56 AM
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20: I'd buy that. There's a lot of hatred (among other litigators, even) aimed at plaintiffs'-side class-action lawyers.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:58 AM
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17: I don't think so, or at least I haven't seen that in anything I've read.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:58 AM
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20, 21: That seems ... weird but believable. I don't think I'd do much extra to indict people just because I didn't like them, but I'm pretty lazy.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:05 AM
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After this, if they choose *not* to indict Ensign I will be pissed (although possibly not justifiably so since I am not that familiar with the details in either case). But annoying if it is another one like Stevens contrasted with Siegelman where dodgy prosecutorial behavior in the one instance led to a very different outcome than the same (or worse) in the other.

Actually, I think that deep and widespread damage was done to the institution of the DOJ under Bush I and it is not even close to being rectified (nor is even clever whether "the arrow" has been turned around).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:13 AM
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A right-wing conspiracy nut I knew in high school just posted this on Facebook:

"ow. They indicted John Edwards. I hope they lock his ass up for the max time. That man is a douche. Yes, I just spoke out strongly against a republican!"

People are so weird and confusing.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:27 AM
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19

... but it's clearly not the intent of the campaign finance laws. ...

I thought the (or one) intent of the campaign finance laws was to reduce the appearance of corruption by not having candidates excessively beholden to single contributors. This would apply here.

And money is fungible, what's the point of contribution limits if you can get around them by making personal gifts to the candidate? Would it be legal to pay off a candidates mortgage?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:42 AM
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I'm a pretty princess!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:43 AM
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Would it be legal to pay off a candidates mortgage?

That might get into bribery, rather than a campaign finance violation specifically, if he won. If the candidate wasn't spending his own money on the election, I don't know that a gift to the candidate would be a campaign contribution.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:45 AM
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I never voted for him, but my family and I gave him a shit ton of money (relative to our means) which I am still mortified by every time I look us up in the campaign database. And a close friend slaved away in his campaign for low wages (bypassing much better paying jobs and an early gig with Obama) for months. I feel like he tarnished the cause of poverty in politics by so closely branding it with himself. This prosecution seems like its probably over the top, but I'm still too pissed to care. I will probably never make a significant campaign contribution again.

20:Does DOJ have the same dynamic with corporate lawyers that DOT has with corporate bankers? I thought DOJ was more likely to be filled with puritanical idealists.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:03 AM
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I'm kinda OK with strict enforcement of campaign finance laws. Or whats left of them, anyway.

It appears to me that some law was broken, so yeah, go ahead and prosecute him. Give him 30 days in jail, or whatever, pour encourager les autres.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:07 AM
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I feel like he tarnished the cause of poverty in politics

I'm sympathetic to this view, but on my more jaded days I think poverty as a cause is always already screwed because the poor can't afford to hire lobbyists. Edwards wouldn't have changed that fact of life.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:11 AM
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This is what I don't get; since Edwards is apparently as rich as Croesus why not just pay off his own freaking mistress expenses. Possibly goes to how the family's personal finances were handled with his wife. I guess this way was "convenient".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:26 AM
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tarnished the cause of poverty in politics

But you know what? Nobody else remotely prominent has talked seriously about it *at all* for years. Also, "it's time that Americans were patriotic about something other than war" earned him a permanent Get Out of Jail Free card in my personal Monopoly game.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:27 AM
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This is what I don't get; since Edwards is apparently as rich as Croesus why not just pay off his own freaking mistress expenses.

I'm not assuming this is true, but my understanding of his story is that he wasn't directly involved in the process -- his friends took over in a 'we'll take care of everything' kind of way. He was kind of busy at the time.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:29 AM
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34: I think it is more of a plausible deniability thing than a busy thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:31 AM
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I have no specific knowledge. I'm just saying that is often the reason why certain tasks get left for others.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:37 AM
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"tarnished the cause of poverty in politics

But you know what? Nobody else remotely prominent has talked seriously about it *at all* for years. Also, "it's time that Americans were patriotic about something other than war" earned him a permanent Get Out of Jail Free card in my personal Monopoly game."

I agree. Poverty isn't even hard to fix. Give poor people more money.


Posted by: lemmy caution | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:38 AM
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I'm a bit confused by any attempt to make Trial Lawyers into bogeymen. Who gets all het-up over trial lawyers? The AMA, sure, but who else?

They're probably viewed by the general public as akin to Used Car Salespeople on trustworthiness. But sleazy enough that They Must Be Stopped? Or for the Trial Lawyer thing to be a smear that sticks at all for most people? I never see it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:43 AM
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39

Poverty isn't even hard to fix. Give poor people more money.

But if you giving poor people more money, they won't be inspired to not be poor any more. The only viable solution is a capital gains tax cut.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:44 AM
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The AMA, sure, but who else?

The Republican Party. Trial lawyers, like unions, give primarily to Democrats. Therefore, they are evil.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:46 AM
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41

I'm kind of hung up on the fact that the man's legal given name is apparently "Johnny."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:47 AM
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42

Yeah 33 and 37.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:49 AM
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38: If you assume that the interests of rich business owners are overrepresented in everything, it makes more sense. Litigation is really really expensive and annoying. The class action lawyer who's suing your firm is personally getting rich by engaging in a multi-year process of making you miserable, which whether or not he wins is going to cost you a shitload. It's a very comprehensible reaction.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:51 AM
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Edwards pushed an employee to call "mine" to an inconvenient baby. I doubt he has much deep interest in anything outside of himself. Plus, that's sitcom protagonist-style plotting.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:51 AM
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41: Welcome to the South. I'm just surprised his middle name wasn't Wayne.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:52 AM
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40 is right. I wasn't aware that the DOJ was Republican-inflected.

This from 20.last surprises me:

There may also be a personal desire to destroy Edwards on the part of the Obama inner core.

Why? (I haven't followed the thread, so maybe this is already answered.)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:54 AM
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The class action lawyer who's suing your firm is personally getting rich by engaging in a multi-year process of making you miserable, which whether or not he wins is going to cost you a shitload.

Meanwhile, members of the class so often wind up with an extraordinary lame settlement, like a coupon for 50% off their next meal from Denny's.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:55 AM
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Based on the NYT article, I wonder if he might actually be culpable. The question seems to be whether the payment was serving personal purposes or campaign purposes, and while it seems silly to be forced to dichotomize, the donor's note quoted descibes it as helping the campaign specifically (with some ambiguity, also calling him a friend). I'd be grateful if someone could track down the legal language being argued over.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:59 AM
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49

47: I once got a check for $.17 cents that I refused to cash.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 11:59 AM
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a coupon for 50% off their next meal from Denny's

You must have missed the NBA thread. There is Unlimited Pancake at Denny's. UNLIMITED.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:01 PM
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Actually, I rather like Denny's.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:02 PM
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You guys probably don't care about the details of a hearing in the Subcommittee on Water and Power, but I continue to be astonished at how much John Garamendi can be such an annoying tool, even as I agree with everything he says. How can a man be on my side and still manage to annoy me with every word out of his mouth? By opening his quotes with ""I'm a battle-tested veteran of the California water wars, ..." I would trust him to make decisions on big issues, but I never want to listen to him.

|>


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:03 PM
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Based on the NYT article, I wonder if he might actually be culpable.

My guess, from 19 (and this is without any specific knowledge of the relevant statutes, so take it FWIW) is that it's reasonably prosecutable without stretching the statutory language too far. I'd still think it's a bad use of prosecutorial discretion, but not insane.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:04 PM
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I wasn't aware that the DOJ was Republican-inflected.

Bush/Rove did their level best to stock the DoJ with as many movement conservatives as they possibly could.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:06 PM
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"I'm a battle-tested veteran of the California water wars, ...

This is my Super Soaker, this is my gun. One is for fighting, one is for fun.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:08 PM
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I'm kind of hung up on the fact that the man's legal given name is apparently "Johnny."

Yeah, me too. I'm sorry, but it just sounds wrong.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:11 PM
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Huh. I hadn't realized that the other under the table donor to Rielle Hunter (in addition to Fred Baron, the asbestos lawyer) was "Bunny" Mellon, who, remarkably, is the 100 year old widow of Herbert Hoover's Treasury Secretary Andrew Mellon. In other words, the widow of the person directly responsible for impoverishing millions during the original great depression ended her long life as a John Edwards supporter. Who'd have thunk?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:22 PM
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Bush/Rove did their level best to stock the DoJ with as many movement conservatives as they possibly could.

Liberty University grads, I recall.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:26 PM
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||
Holy shit, Yemen.

-Unconfirmed rumors of injuries sustained in mosque within presidential palace.
-President Ali Abdullah Saleh burned on face; Deputy Prime Minister for Internal Affairs Abu Ras burned on face with one/both legs amputated.
-Former Prime Minister and Speaker of Shura Council Abdul Aziz Abdul Ghani burned on face.
-Deputy Prime Minister for Security and Defense Affairs Rashad al-Alimi burned and maybe suffered broken legs.
-Speaker of Parliament Yahya al-Raiee and Prime Minister Ali Mujawar both injured.
-Saleh never spoke. Instead, the Deputy Minister of Information delivered some speech; said Saleh can't come b/c he is "too scratched up."
-Deputy Minister of Information confirmed in his statement that three guards were killed.
-We heard (unconfirmed) that the Imam of the mosque was killed or critically injured. Presumably, the big guys were praying up front.
-Governor of Sana'a Duade is in critical condition.
-Fighting near Kentucky Roundabout outside Change Square. Riot police always posted there. Reports water cannons being used re protesters.
|>


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:27 PM
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Oh, whoops, I misread. She's Paul Mellon's widow, not Andrew's. Still remarkable that she's involved in this.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:28 PM
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Who could have foreseen that a Mellon would be baller?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:30 PM
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54, 58: Thanks, I didn't know that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:30 PM
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Oops, Monica Goodling was a grad of Pat Robertson's "Regent University", not Jerry Falwell's "Liberty University." Mea culpa!


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:31 PM
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[H]is friends took over in a 'we'll take care of everything' kind of way.

My friends really need to raise their game.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 12:55 PM
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Did you need someone impregnated?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:01 PM
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64: Game is to be hunted, not raised.


Posted by: Ted Nugent | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:01 PM
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67

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NMM to The Thing From Another Planet

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Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:06 PM
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67: James Arness? Or did I miss something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:09 PM
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68: I was guessing Kodos. Or maybe Kang. But probably Kodos.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:11 PM
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67: James Arness was 6'7" (per the AV CLub)? Wow. He was really great on Gunsmoke and in the Gunsmoke TV movies. I remember watching several of the latter with my little brother on Saturday nights while our parents were out hating each other at restaurants, movies, etc.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:12 PM
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We used to watch Gunsmoke reruns and try to see who could talk like Festus.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:13 PM
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70:Clint Walker of Cheyenne was the man

6'6", 48" chest, 32" waist.

Didn't have many like that in 1960


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 1:48 PM
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Speaking of crime and punishment, here's a sociologist (and former Baltimore cop, author of a book about so being) arguing for giving convicted felons the option of being flogged instead of imprison, as a radical way of ending our culture of mass incarceration.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:03 PM
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Don't have many like that now.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:05 PM
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I have a 32-inch waist. There are more inches there, too, but there are definitely 32.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:17 PM
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Speaking of James Arness, James Franciscus is in "Valley of the Gwangi" tonight on TCM, if I marked my calendar right. Classic WTF movie when 14-year-old me came across it flipping channels.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:18 PM
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These guys are all douchebags and have mistresses. Saints don't go into politics. It's fine to be morally disgusted by the guy, but I don't think anybody should feel too stupid about having supported him. Most of this shit just never gets out.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:43 PM
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Saints don't go into politics

I'll be I could get elected mayor of NOLA.


Posted by: Drew Brees | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:47 PM
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73: Park Dietz, the psychiatrist-for-hire who spends a lot of time speaking to murderers, argued for that sort of punishment years ago. I don't think he got anywhere.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 2:53 PM
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24, 54: The Siegelman thing fills me with rage whenever I think about it. So I try not to think about it much! It's not one of the serious unforced errors of the Obama administration -- nobody is sleeping with their kids in a car because of it, nobody is dying in Kandahar -- but every day that Siegelman is in jail while John Ensign is douching around on his douchemobile is an insult to justice.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 3:05 PM
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80: Siegelman is at least not currently in prison (out pending appeal which had some activity in January of this year). I must be stupid, because to me the narrow points that keep being raised are so fucking trivial compared to the fact that the whole thing is a blatant criminalization of politics that cannot even get my head around it. It is not even fucking close. The Siegelman thing is a glimpse of what the whole happening justice system would be like if the "permanent Republican majority" had materialized.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 3:33 PM
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I remember some statistic during the Bush administration that indicated new prosecutions were heavily skewed towards Democrats, and the success rates were much lower. I wonder what it looks like now.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 3:48 PM
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83

Look, I'm going to prove that I could be coherent if I wanted to! But not for long.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:01 PM
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84

I didn't post 83. Whoever did, get your own handle. Mine's not even that good.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:04 PM
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And the link is NSFW.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:05 PM
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I think the allegation is that he didn't funnel it through the campaign, but that hush money that went directly from his friends to his mistress with no connection to the campaign should have been considered 'campaign contributions' because without the hush money the campaign would have been in trouble.

IANAL but I think it's more that the hush money should have been considered campaign contributions because absent the campaign there would've been no such payment. In other words, your grandmother can sell her house and give you a chunk of the cash while you happen to be running for president, but billionaire "friends" can't slip you a few million in a birthday card during that same period. The purpose of regulating gifts to the candidate as if they were campaign contributions seems obvious to me.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:11 PM
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Thanks unfogged management! Somebody impersonated me once before, but it turned out to be a charming person named Judy who was drunk. Then we all ate ice cream and I found five dollars.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:14 PM
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text and con-text.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 4:22 PM
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I think we've now reached the point when it's sort of the thing to have a love child, like admitting that one smoked pot in the distant past. Yes, yes, that's my bastard of course. I send him postcards and candy when candy's on sale. I'm doing it right. But what I'm really hear to talk about is eliminating parking tickets forever!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 5:09 PM
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gah, hear to talk


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 5:10 PM
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In other words, your grandmother can sell her house and give you a chunk of the cash while you happen to be running for president, but billionaire "friends" can't slip you a few million in a birthday card during that same period.

Killjoy.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 5:14 PM
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86 is enlightening.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 5:18 PM
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93

Costume bleg:

So, remember how you were all so awesome in helping us come up with costumes for the Prom from Space?

This year's theme is the Olympics. We are encouraged to be Olympic athletes representing a (real or imagined) sport from a (real or imagined) country. We've let things get totally down to the wire; the party is tomorrow. So, help!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:12 PM
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I actually came all the way over here to troll Apo about Edwards. And so I was delighted to see this post at the top of the page. But now, after reading 33, I just don't have it in me. Thanks for ruining my fun, Apo, you filthy cracker!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:12 PM
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93: Tommy Smith and John Carlos.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:16 PM
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95: We were just talking about them. Blackface is so declasse, though.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:17 PM
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We're also considering being Tea Partiers against the International Oba-lympic Conspiracy.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:18 PM
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93: Go as Jacoscar Pastorius, with electric robot basses for legs.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:19 PM
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There must be some way to represent the archaic modern pentathlon.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:21 PM
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Blackface is so declasse, though.

Tropic Thunder: an underappreciated film.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:24 PM
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101

Old timey athletics? Like Goofy Goes Swimming outfits, or Strong Man with evil mustache and fake barbells? Or 70s basketball player?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:30 PM
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Or original Olympics, with togas and such? But then you'd probably have people leering at you and saying "You know, the original Olympians competed naked" all night.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:31 PM
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103

How about that blue drip icon from when Atlanta hosted the Olympics? You guys could be Forgotten Mascots.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:32 PM
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104

Go as the Jamaican Bobsledding Team! Or just as a luge.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:33 PM
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Some of our Tea Party thoughts for your improvement:

The 5 Olympic rings/handcuffs represent Obama (black), socialism (red), the Fed (green), the U.N. (blue), and the global warming hoax (yellow).

Also, the gold standard vs. gold medals, lead/guns vs. gold medals, the founding fathers didn't go to no stinkin' Olympics....


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:33 PM
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106

Wear a trenchcoat and pretend to be three gymnasts, standing on each other's shoulders. You could have little feet sticking out here and there.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:33 PM
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107

Hmm, I like the fake barbells and olde timey outfits.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:34 PM
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108

Rest a wooden chip on your shoulder and say "We're the Winter Olympics! Why doesn't anyone love us?"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:35 PM
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109

Dress up super cutesy and hold hands and say "We've got Olympic sized hearts."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:36 PM
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110

106: How about we just borrow your kids?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:36 PM
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111

I think you should dress as the Jamaican bobsledders but insist that you're Tommy Smith and John Carlos. Then you can call anyone who mistakes you for the guys from Cool Runnings racist. Also, I had shabbat dinner this evening with six Oberlin grads. Six!


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:37 PM
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112

Hmm, I lied: only four of them were graduates. Two are still currently enrolled.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:38 PM
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113

110: Crap. I just offered to babysit, didn't I?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:39 PM
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114

110: DONE.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:39 PM
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115

No backsies!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:39 PM
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116

96: Track suits, one black glove each and for Tommie Smith, one of you just needs to be about 6'3" 125 lbs with legs that start just south of your armpits. Easy and no blackface required. (I was at place where Tommie Smith was for a few years and his physique and graceful carriage even while just walking were really quite something.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:41 PM
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111: We were at DFH College just this past weekend. It's still dirty and hippie even if all the dorm furniture looks like it came straight from Ikea.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:41 PM
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118

111: That's "Tommie" to you, white man. And 111,112 to locale in 116. Ask them if they knew that.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:43 PM
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119

117: Ha! My one kid was working as some kind of adjunct security guard. Did you get out of line?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:44 PM
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120

116: Leaving aside your obvious racism, I'll just add that seeing truly great athletes -- of any color, you racist pig -- move is often a feast for the eyes.

117: I'm just up the road. Had I known you were here (there), I would have driven down, if only to annoy Josh.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:44 PM
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121

118: I bet he ditched is slave name, running dog.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:46 PM
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122

h


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:46 PM
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123

120.1: My point--absolutely independent of race (mine or his)-- was that he transcended the normal to a greater extent than even other great athletes I have seen, you pathetic lackey of the education-mongering classes.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:48 PM
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124

You could go dressed as Irish cliches and say "We're the O'Lympics." I guess I stole that joke from O'Bama, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:51 PM
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125

120.2 confuses me on two counts: What are you doing there? Why would it annoy Josh?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:51 PM
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126

123: "Normal", huh? Need I go on?


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:52 PM
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127

119: We're so radical we never even got *in* line.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:52 PM
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128

Be really limp and wishy-washy and say "We're the Ol' Limp Picks". Where's Stanley?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:52 PM
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129

Get another friend to join you and go as Jeff Gillooly, Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:55 PM
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130

125: I didn't mean to confuse you. My parents live in Cleveland. So, we often come here during the summer. This year we're here a bit earlier due to a family health crisis. And it would have annoyed Josh because I live just an hour away from him but have never met him in person. In fact, I have seemingly worked hard to avoid meeting him in person.* This was once something of a running joke between us (Josh and I, not you and I).

* This is not the case. I would like to meet Josh. But only if he's willing to come to Cleveland.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:56 PM
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131

We are encouraged to be Olympic athletes representing a (real or imagined) sport from a (real or imagined) country.

At least during the reign of King Charles, parachuting was a popular sport in Zembla. Perhaps they fielded an Olympic team.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:57 PM
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132

Are the sore loserheads there all gloating about last night's basketball?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:57 PM
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133

I second 129. But leave out Jeff Gilooly.

Or there's also Kerri Ankle Brace and her eastern European gymnastics coach.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:57 PM
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134

130: M/tch and I semi-seriously yearn for a summer house in Cleveland.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 6:58 PM
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135

Where's Stanley?

He's consulting for the Hobolympics.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:00 PM
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134: My wife keeps coming up with houses in DFHville itself that we should buy.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:01 PM
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Blackface is so declasse, though.

But! You could double down on it: have M/tch be Jesse Owens and you be Hitler.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:02 PM
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132 One of the Oberlin grads explained over dinner that Cleveland has a very bright future. I countering by noting LeBron's decision, which resulted in a long lecture about how "he's a loser" and "an ingrate" and "getting his just desserts". I was both surprised (the lecturer, like all Oberlin grads, used to be a union organizer) and amused (the lecturer is a pretty funny guy, and he was on a roll). Anyway, my parents no longer take the Plain Dealer, so I can't really gauge the mood of the day, I'm afraid, beyond telling you that 25% of Oberlin grads living in Cleveland are still really pissed at LeBron. Social science!


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:03 PM
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134: I'm reasonably confident that your dream is well within reach. Half the city seems to be for sale -- cheap! -- and the other half is boarded up and soon going to be razed.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:04 PM
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Stormcrow, we flew home with a member of Stormkrow in his full Steven Tyleresque glory.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:05 PM
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141

I'd steer clear of the Munich Israeli massacre, though. It doesn't seem funny yet.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:07 PM
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142

Or maybe that's a failure of imagination. Surprise me!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:07 PM
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143

countering s/b countered

I was never very good at this, but now I'm out of practice. Oh well.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:08 PM
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141: Yeah, too soon. The dead luge guy is fair game, though.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:09 PM
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145

M/tch wants to know if icing is a summer or winter sport in the Bro'lympics.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:09 PM
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146

Pair Olympics. Sorry, no costume comes to mind.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:10 PM
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139: Yeah, I know. We have friends who have a great house in beautiful* Cleveland Heights that they think they may have overpaid for -- at $120K. (You all would like them -- they roast whole pigs and have industrial power tools.)

*Yes, you Cleveland haters.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:13 PM
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148

Damn, I wish we'd had time for a Cleveland meetup, what with the usual Cleveland crew plus both Von Wafer and ari there.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:19 PM
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149

The men's water ballet team, from snl.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:20 PM
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150

Kabaddi!, a demo sport at the 1936 Olympics. As was gliding; the Germans did well at that one.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:23 PM
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151

The ancient Olympians only competed in the nude.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:24 PM
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149: Hey, I was in a synchronized swimming show, at the same locale mentioned several times above.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:24 PM
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153

152: At the Olympics?!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:31 PM
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154

The dyslexic Berlin Olympics.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:35 PM
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152: Stormcrow! We never knew you! I was not aware that there was men's synchronized swimming, nor that you took part.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:35 PM
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155: It was at a rather amateur level I assure you, but I could hold my breath a long time and otherwise not drown.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:40 PM
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157

Holy shit. No wonder soccer seems like a manly pastime to you. (kidding, kidding)


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 7:49 PM
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||

I have a technical question about drumming. This band has an actual drummer, that's clear. Why do the drums sound so fake? Is there some sort of autotune for drums that they added to it, so that every hit ends up exactly the same intensity?

|>


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:02 PM
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157: I also played a bit of competitive badminton I'll have you know.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:05 PM
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Roque, the hardcourt croquet variant that I originally thought Stephen King had invented for The Shining, was an Olympic sport in 1904. (Croquet was an Olympic sport in 1900; France swept.)


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:07 PM
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161

I used to be pretty good at table tennis, but I'm a girl, and I would get pissed off if my opponent -- an ex in particular did this -- decided to send a bullet right at me. Dude, that's an obnoxious unsportsmanlike move.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:10 PM
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Why is that unsportsmanlike, and what does it have to do with you being a girl?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:15 PM
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Does anyone know of an online intro to yoga, preferably optimized for someone with poor arm strength and idiosyncratic flexibility?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:19 PM
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I'm joking. I mean that I enjoyed a moderately rigorous round of ping-pong, wherein both parties agreed to test their abilities, but if someone thought that getting really aggressive about it by suddenly blasting a, well, bullet, then I did not enjoy it.

Sure, we can basically not play a game, since I can't return shots like that. Uh, in other words, I view casual games like that as a matter of matching and testing and pressing abilities, not blasting another out of the court so that we'll not play ping-pong again unless you can get yourself under control.

I mean, not you. The other person.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:24 PM
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165

I guess people in this thread would object to this video.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:30 PM
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I'm joking
Oops, heh.
I view casual games like that as a matter of matching and testing and pressing abilities, not blasting another out of the court
You and I are very different people.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:38 PM
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I'm not much into competition of that kind. Pressing and testing and extending abilities, yes; destroying the opposition, not so much.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:45 PM
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I'm highly competitive in unimportant matters.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 8:50 PM
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I got nothing on Olympics names, but I'm thinking about it.

158: It sounds like the drums are going through a compressor, plus they've had a lot of tinkering done in Pro Tools (or whatever). They'll do lots of things, such as moving all the beats to fall neatly on a grid (vs. slightly ahead or behind the beat on any given hit), and making all the, say, snare drum hits exactly the same volume.

Do too much of that stuff, and you end up with "fake" sounding drums. Or any instrument, really.

Also, it might just be me, but however the audio was sampled seems to have shaved off some higher frequencies, leaving the cymbals sounding tinny.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:46 PM
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170

Carry a rifle and skis, randomly make out with both men and women at the party, and explain that you're a biathlete.


Posted by: Unimaginative | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 9:47 PM
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171

I just hope someone will be singing Olympic torch songs.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:54 PM
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172

You could go as Isthmian Games revivalists.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 3-11 10:56 PM
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170: Riffing on a theme, you could be sleazy, suitcase-pulling drug reps (nametags, suits, the whole nine yards), pushing a new performance-enhancing drug called Athlon™. When people ask what you're dressed as, you both say enthusiastically and in unison, "TRY ATHLON!"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 8:14 AM
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Yeah, if you want to get sued by AMD.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 8:22 AM
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Or as representatives from the Olompicks.

http://www.olimpickgames.co.uk/contentok.php?id=883


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 8:34 AM
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Olimpicks. Bugger.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 8:34 AM
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147: Tell me about it. We keep not buying because the prices keep dropping and dropping and dropping. I will let you guys stay in our mansion once we finally pull the trigger.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 8:57 AM
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150. Kabaddi is insane. That is all.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 9:13 AM
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179

It's a black fly in your Chardonnay.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 12:27 PM
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179: That is such a great story.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 12:29 PM
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Here's another Pistorius: replace your legs with pancake flippers and then say you hadn't decided whether to compete in the regular or Spatula Olympics.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 12:30 PM
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182

Shut me up, quick!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 1:33 PM
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Thanks for the Olympic costume input, everyone. You can see the results in the Flicckkrr pool.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 11:07 PM
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The five chains of enslavement are great.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 11:14 PM
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The "Friday" video took me a bit.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 4-11 11:21 PM
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||

Politics! And about money, not sex!

Roosevelt Institute takes feelthy Pete Peterson lucre and the econprogressivosphere, both of them, explode!

Yves Smith and Mike Konczal cagematch with L Randall Wray, Marshall Auerbach, Dan Kervick on the wings of angels and Lambert Strether biting cherubic ankles.

Hamsher, in comments to the Smith, describes the vicious pressure the fascists WH puts on anybody who crosses them, and Richard Kline explains resistance to us all

So the larger point in refusing to 'buy in and sell out' isn't a moral one, it's a strategic one. Refusing the system is the only way to beat it. Shake the system's hand and it's already got you, long before they find a ragged card table to sit you down in the wayback and hand you your party favor while the band and the game plays on.

Vote Green in 2012!

|>


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 7:59 AM
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183: The grammar and spelling errors are pitch-perfect.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:03 AM
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Why thank you. It caused M/itch some serious pain to allow his to stand.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 7:20 PM
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