Re: Dedication

1

On the live Jawbreaker album Blake dedicates a song to "everyone of the Gemini persuasion" or somesuch. Is the singer a Jawbreaker fan?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:13 AM
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2

My cousin was an alpaca farmer killed by an acoustic guitar player, you insensitive ass.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:15 AM
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This one goes out to all the oatmeal in the crowd!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:15 AM
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1: Oh! That might be it. A reference, gone over my head. I'll have to ask him.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:16 AM
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You know who knows how to be respectful of alpaca farmers. Newspaper reporters, that's who.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:16 AM
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5: Some say.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 9:17 AM
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I suppose there is unlikely to be a thread to which this is more relevant.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 9:34 AM
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8

7 was pretty great.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 9:38 AM
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9

"Socially inadequate, pimpled, single, slightly seedy, bald, cauliflower-nosed young men"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 9:58 AM
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Alpaca is a word I used probably never before six months ago and now use with a frequency that makes me wonder if I have become some kind of giant raging geekosaur weirdo.

Speculation about the appropriateness of "become" in that sentence is politely discouraged.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 11:16 AM
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11

Urgh, I keep deleting my identity. I hope nothing metaphorical is going on. 10, me.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 11:20 AM
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7, also relevant by the transitive property of literalist word association:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA_hyDfap5U


Posted by: Econolicious, harmonized without autotunes | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 11:22 AM
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13

"This one goes out to all the shut-ins in the crowd!"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 2:46 PM
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14

Bashi-bazouks


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 3:36 PM
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15

River Crabs, out! No more River Crabs! What a great euphemism.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 5:38 PM
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The painting in 14 is awesome. A guy in a skirt, having just done a massive bong hit, sings and plays a weird string instrument.

Apparently this is from the "Orientalist" genre, which I have elsewhere heard described as sleazy, exploitationist, and racist. I think I need to see more of it.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 6:00 PM
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1, 4: I asked. It wasn't a Jawbreaker reference. The song was in fact about a Gemini (among other things).


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 7:59 PM
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18

Research!


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 5-11 8:08 PM
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I was solicited for an unwanted threesome at the weekend. This seems like an Unfogged-worthy topic.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:51 AM
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19 I've heard people say this, but I never understand how it works. Are you standing at the bar minding your own beer and a couple wander up and say, "You really don't look like you want a threesome but we thought we'd ask anyway", or do they come up one on each side of you and try to frogmarch you off, or what?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:50 AM
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She just spoke up and asked. I have no idea if she had even consulted her husband, who was a couple of chairs away. Later I found out she'd been following the opinionated academic around and telling her she was "fascinating", so I presume she was envisaging one with herself, the OA, and me rather than an MMF.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 3:29 AM
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How do you know she (they) didn't want a foursome? Did she announce that she'd like to have sex with you and one other person to be determined at a later time?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 3:54 AM
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Possibly she intended to put you on hold while she looked around to score a third partner.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 3:57 AM
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No, she specifically said "threesome".

Anyway, I replied that I didn't think OA would be up for it.

This answer has the advantages that it doesn't involve telling a lie, doesn't give anything away, and doesn't involve saying anything ungallant.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:02 AM
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Maybe she was going to steal kidneys and wanted to be more efficient.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:06 AM
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Perhaps she was just after your tightie whities, since these apparently now fetch $200 on the open market.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:15 AM
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27

Now you know which of your shirts is most attractive to polyarmorists. The rest of us just don't know.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:16 AM
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To be frank, it's the shirt I'd have picked.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:37 AM
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29

It's like the joke that if you'll sleep with someone for a million dollars you're a prostitute, and now we're just haggling on a price. Once you agree to a threesome, it's a short step to having sex with seven people and a cow on a stage in Amsterdam.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:45 AM
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30

Once you agree to a threesome, it's a short step to having sex with seven people and a cow on a stage in Amsterdam.

Oh please. I'd say it's more like, once you agree to a threesome, there are a lot fewer people who will agree to a twosome with you. It's less like a slippery slope and more like a terraced hillside that is harder to go up than down.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:48 AM
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31

Also, I think the "Once is cool; twice is queer" rule applies.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:52 AM
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32

Really? I can't say, thinking of people I know, that their participation (or not) in threesomes has made a blind bit of difference to their ordinary sexual/romantic lives. Maybe I'm not working with a big enough sample set.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:55 AM
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33

Or maybe you hang out with a bunch of queers.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 4:56 AM
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32: Maybe you should let Alex help you pick your next shirt.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:00 AM
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32. I suspect this is more a function of Knifecrime being on balance less sexually uptight than the the Land of the Three, no doubt because we need to get us much as we can before somebody cuts us too deep.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:02 AM
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32: I think it has been found (?) that heterosexual USian men have much greater anxiety about partners who they perceive to have "too much experience" or to be queer or whatever.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:02 AM
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It's alright, I am quite able to pick my own, iykwimaittyd.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:02 AM
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38

Pwned, with humor even!


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:03 AM
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re: 36

Yeah, I suppose there is that. I always forget to factor in 'Americans are weird'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:04 AM
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40

29's referent seems to be missing? I certainly didn't state or imply that.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:05 AM
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Once, when I was about 17, a couple of older women basically offered to pay me to participate in same. My sort of ex g/friend who was present found it highly amusing and tried to persuade me [not sure how serious she was] to take them up on it. My head was full of urban legends, so 'not bloody likely' quoth I. Although, iirc, I did let them buy me some drinks. I can't remember what shirt I had on at the time.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:06 AM
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42

I posited to my early American lit class this semester that the fragility of US masculinity has something to do with the total helplessness in the face of phallic symbols--our images of purely symbolic masculine power are so extraordinary that actual human men aren't just competing with other men for dominance; they're also competing against everything they own or could own. One is supposed to "be a man" when choosing a car, choosing clothes, choosing what to eat, when to fight, whom to hate, etc. It's too much competition. It makes them crazy.

Of course I presented this in the context of stories like this one, and not in context of why it's hard to be a woman in 2011.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:11 AM
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43

My head was full of urban legends

It's not as if you really need both kidneys.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:13 AM
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44

What was the shirt, btw? Your 'Setun Working Group' t-shirt?


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:15 AM
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re: 43

Yeah, or finding out that the husbands who were 'away on the rigs' were actually a lot closer to hand. Something similar to which did actually happen to a friend of mine, the dénouement of which story involved him climbing out of a window half-naked and running away while tripping on what was, I think, one of his first ever acid-trips.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:17 AM
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46

44: This one always works.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:22 AM
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climbing out of a window half-naked and running away while tripping on what was, I think, one of his first ever acid-trips.
You don't need jealous husbands to do this.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:23 AM
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48

47: Sure, but doing it to save fifty cents on paper towels just seems overly effortful.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:37 AM
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49

32 gets it right.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:10 AM
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Maybe I'm not working with a big enough sample set.

That's not a sample of n=3, ttaM, it's n=1.


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:53 AM
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40: I was just making a lame joke, but at the risk of making it lamer -- people were speculating that maybe she really wanted a threesome, so I was joking that she was starting the negotiations with a threesome, and then working her way up past a foursome into a seven-plus-cow-some.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:59 AM
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20: I never understand how it works.

Yeah, once people have decided on The Threesome they're often pretty blunt about it. I think the most interesting technique I've encountered was a woman I was chatting with at the after party for some rock show or other who suddenly said, a propos of nothing, that she didn't think it was fair that people always assumed that threesomes should involve two girls, she'd personally prefer it with two guys and what were my thoughts. (It wasn't exactly that wording, but that was the jist.) And I was thinking, "oh, so this is how people do it."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:34 AM
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53

Please tell me your answer began with "As a feminist ...".


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:40 AM
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54

53: Were I a threesome sort of guy, I would've probably gone with "as a 'choice' feminist . . . "


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:45 AM
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Something similar to which did actually happen to a friend of mine, the dénouement of which story involved him climbing out of a window half-naked and running away

This happened to a friend of mine while he was working in Texas. That made it extra scary to a Lutheran from Michigan.


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:46 AM
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56

Lutherans: Our slowest denomination.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:47 AM
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re: 55

Heh, my friends story was in Bo'ness, which isn't much like Texas in many respects. Less guns, certainly.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:52 AM
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44: A Fred Perry, style number M5117. Googling this gives you surprisingly few results. Mine is the off white/three tone blue shoulder tape version.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:58 AM
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59

slick.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 8:28 AM
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55: Especially given the notorious Texas Penal Code Article 1220 (repealed in 1973): "Homicide is justifiable when committed by the husband upon the person of any one taken in the act of adultery with the wife, provided the killing take place before the parties to the act of adultery have separated."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 9:30 AM
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61

before the parties to the act of adultery have separated
You have to kill them before withdrawal?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 9:36 AM
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61: Read the chapter for some specific cases.

• Yes, people were cleared of wrongdoing by this law.
• No, you couldn't kill your wife as well.
• No, your wife could not kill her husband's adulterer.
• No, lesser harms were not covered. For instance, you couldn't tie up the adulterer and cut off his penis. ($300 and 30 days in the county jail for that one.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 9:47 AM
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• No, your wife could not kill her husband's adulterer.

What if it was a male adulterer rather than an adulterrix?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 9:53 AM
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64

61: In Texas, adultery is safer the shorter your penis is.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 9:58 AM
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Lord Barnard was lucky he wasn't in Texas to deal with the little Musgrave. Should have killed a naked man and not pratted about.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:02 AM
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once you agree to a threesome, there are a lot fewer people who will agree to a twosome with you.

I keep telling myself, "Self, this is the last time you'll be surprised by AWB's negative experiences with men," and yet I keep being surprised anew.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:05 AM
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66: Really? In my experience the number of men who have weird little madonna complexes* is huge. I have had a number of conversations with groups of men in which I am by far the outlier in my willingness to consider someone with a rich and varied sexual history as serious girlfriend material.

* For values of "madonna complex" where some prior sexual experience is not disqualifying.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:35 AM
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68

49, 66: Haven't you people seen Chasing Amy?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:41 AM
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68: That movie really sucked. It was like watching uninteresting paint dry slowly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:46 AM
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70

I definitely found it common for guys I was considering dating to be thrown by the sheer number of people I'd slept with. Even when they had similar numbers. I'd assume they'd be intimidated if I'd had a threesome in my past, too.

By the end of my dating career, that kind of insecurity was a deal-breaker for me. This is what I've done, I'm interested in you now, so don't play games with me about my past. But I indulged it for awhile.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:48 AM
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Okay, fair enough, both of you, especially about Chasing Amy--which used to be one of my favorite movies, precisely because it makes clear what a total idiot the protagonist is being, and doesn't have a happy ending. I'm happier imagining that everybody has absorbed this lesson, though this is obviously not so.

I guess I don't have enough of these conversations.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:48 AM
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72

69: it's a movie that I feel might be like Catcher in the Rye (which I haven't read, and feel too old to read now)--I can't imagine enjoying it unless you're young enough, or new enough to sexuality, to feel some kinship and sympathy with protagonists being immature and thoughtless about this stuff. (And it doesn't help, I suppose, that the characters are older than the viewer really ought to be, for this to be the case--which is the whole point, really; the protagonists need to grow up.)


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:53 AM
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73

guys I was considering dating to be thrown by the sheer number of people I'd slept with

Guys you were considering dating? I can see sharing that information with someone you've begun to date, and with whom things have become serious, but before actually dating? This surprises me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 10:59 AM
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73: Like all female soccer players, Heebie wears a flipboard around her neck.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:02 AM
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72: I think I'm probably about the same age as Ben, but maybe I was too old for the movie. Also, comic books aren't my thing so I found it hard to take any of the characters that seriously.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:05 AM
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76

I must be old-fashioned. My flipboard is seekrit.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:06 AM
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77

No, the latter. Guys I was already having a few dates with, or already hanging out with, or whatever. Love was in the air, but debating whether to escalate things. Sometimes someone I'd already slept with, sometimes not.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:06 AM
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76: Good lord, parsimon. Heebie's flipboard is old-fashioned, but I figured that was just a hipster thing. Get with the times already.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:11 AM
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70: Even Prince has (had?) problems with those feelings of insecurity!

I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When you drove me to the place
Where your horses run free

Cause I felt a little I'll
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me

Believe it or not
I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:14 AM
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78: I'd be embarrassed to put on that gold bra.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:17 AM
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Love was in the air

A couple of strategically located Glade PlugIns can usually take care of that.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:18 AM
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82

I'm almost 31, so I probably should have been too old for the movie when I saw it ten years ago. But as it happened, I was right at the sweet spot where I felt morally superior to the characters while also feeling close enough--not in terms of either of the characters' particular neuroses, but in general hopeless-about-this-mysterious-sex-and-relationships-stuff terms--to feel sympathy. Eh. I'm not going to defend it as a great work of art, but I found it moving at the time, and I think it has a good message given its intended audience--remedial sexual politics, not even 101.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:19 AM
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Okay, 78 actually gave me a laughing fit.

77: I'd still probably get further advanced in the relationship before we started swapping people-I-have-slept-with information. It's too dangerous! Possibility of jealousy, insecurity, derailing the emergent relationship from what it actually is here and now, to addressing the other person's past. And so on. Not that it should be avoided forever, but I'd have to feel pretty confident in the relationship before having conversations like that.

I'm not saying you're wrong, or being all scandalized or anything: I'm just surprised.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:21 AM
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84

I think you're reading me too closely. I didn't sit down and take their hand and tell them there was a few things we needed to discuss. But sometimes topic would arise. On the more juvenile end of my lovers, they'd sometimes get their panties twisted. As I matured, that was a deal-breaker.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:28 AM
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85

I'm always surprised to see what a liberal bubble some people live in. Next there'll be people saying "Really? There are men out there who are okay with their 16-year-old sons having sex, but not their 16-year-old daughters? Where?"


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:31 AM
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86

I assume there's some terrific flamewar in some feminist blog somewhere about Chasing Amy, ending with bitter recriminations and tears and threats and personal insults. I guess if not we could be the change I want to see in the world.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:45 AM
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87

You certainly appear to be trolling someone, Halford.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:46 AM
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I liked Chasing Amy, although was in high school when I first saw it and maybe I'd find it hadn't aged well, I don't know.

I've long thought that my total number of people dated/kissed/slept with/whatever was lower than is "normal" for someone in my general position, certainly lower than I'd like, so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had a problem with dating someone who had had a handful more partners than me. I'll bet Chasing Amy itself is partly to thank for that. I have to admit, though, that that if the disparity were really huge it might have been a problem for me. I'd say it would be because of compatibility issues, but who knows how much that would be true and how much it would be simply a pretext for the ego issues.

72
(And it doesn't help, I suppose, that the characters are older than the viewer really ought to be, for this to be the case--which is the whole point, really; the protagonists need to grow up.)

Ben Affleck and Jason Lee were 25 and 27 when the movie was released, so let's assume that their characters were the same age, and it's easy to think of lots of men in their mid-20s with the general maturity level of their characters. Yes, they need to grow up, but it's not particularly contrived or unique to Hollywood or otherwise implausible that they haven't.

85
I'm always surprised to see what a liberal bubble some people live in.

Sometimes it surprises me myself. A few weeks ago I went to a graduation party for a good friend of mine. Of the crowd of 30 or so people (ballpark) at the party, his roommate, me and my girlfriend were the only people who knew him better than they knew his fiancé. So basically, we were the visiting team. We had been forewarned that it was a fairly conservative, right-wing family. I had been mentally preparing to not talk about certain other friends of mine, or be ready to change the subject when someone told off-color jokes. However, I was not mentally prepared for the bride-to-be's father just coming right out during a brief speech and saying that he would have preferred sons. That did not strike me as the kind of thing a sane person in a healthy family would say. But no one else there reacted, so maybe I'm the weird one!


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:48 AM
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89

Why not you? You know what sucks? Whatever cognitive science you're in that I haven't been able to figure out. Also, anything and everything related to Boston sports.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:49 AM
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90

82, I'm 10 years older than you, and Chasing Amy is one of my faves.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:50 AM
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Of the crowd of 30 or so people (ballpark)

Quick, run and tell the Pirates how you got 30 people to a ballpark.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:50 AM
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92

Oh, also electronic music is noise played by losers who could never make it as real musicians. And copyright law is awesome.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:50 AM
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93

Heebie: Just hang in there, baby, you're doing' great. Ringo's proud of you and so am I. It's almost over. Now, I want you to go in that bag, and find my flipboard.
Parsimon: Wh-- Which one is it?
Heebie: It's the one that says Bad Neighbor.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:51 AM
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90: Because nothing conveys deep longing and wisdom earned through regret quite as well as Affleck's emotionless stare.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:51 AM
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95

In Chasing Amy, I thought Kevin Smith was ludicrously sympathetic to the Affleck character, who was just a prick and whose prick-ness wasn't even treated as a matter for examination.

85: I've shaped my own liberal bubble, expunging shitheads from my life - at least my romantic life. Heebie apparently did the same ("As I matured, that was a deal-breaker.") I get that certain kinds of people exist, but why have them in your life when so many other types of people exist?


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:52 AM
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Has anyone here successfully managed, while in an established MF relationship, to pick up a third for a MMF threesome? Any pointers or antipointers? The girlfriend and I are looking for a Stunt Cock.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:53 AM
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my total number of people dated/kissed/slept with/whatever

I'm not sure when this happened (it was before I got together with ST), but I have forgotten my number. I can sit down and count it up if I feel like it, and when I've done so I recognize the number ('Oh yeah, that was what I had figured out last time'), but then I'll promptly forget it again. It's pleasant to go around not having an exact number.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:54 AM
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95: His prick-ness loses him his hot girlfriend and his best friend and creative partner. Did you maybe need him to break his ankle as well?


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:55 AM
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98: That would be great. Also, a hip.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:55 AM
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100

I don't understand 93 at all.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:56 AM
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101

The girlfriend and I are looking for a Stunt Cock

Don't lead off with the Ring of Fire. It can be intimidating.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:56 AM
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102

but I have forgotten my number.

About the time I got fed up with game-playing, I also deliberately misplaced my number. And since then, genuinely lost it, and happier for it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:56 AM
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103

100: Me neither.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:56 AM
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100: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110912/quotes?qt=qt0447156


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:58 AM
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96: It'll be hard: people whose cocks are stunted tend to be shy.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:58 AM
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94: I didn't dislike the movie as much as Moby did, but I do have similar feelings about Ben Affleck's performance.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:59 AM
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It'll be hard

One would certainly hope so. Difficult to do stunts otherwise.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 11:59 AM
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Any pointers or antipointers?

I'd stay away from twitter for a while.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:01 PM
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Any pointers or antipointers?

A good friend of mine has served as Stunt Cock for two different couples. He (gay, male) had always wanted to have sex with a woman (not because he is particularly attracted to women, more in a try-everything-once kind of way), and both times got involved with the couples when they answered his gay-male-for-straight-woman personal ad.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:01 PM
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not because he is particularly attracted to women, more in a try-everything-once kind of way

And, yet, apparently, he tried it twice!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:03 PM
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Once is cool. Twice is hetero.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:04 PM
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his gay-male-for-straight-woman personal ad.

Does Craigslist have a "people who are kidding you or themselves" section?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:05 PM
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Of course we made fun of him along the lines of 111.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:06 PM
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Does Craigslist have a "people who are kidding you or themselves" section?

We talked about this a lot at the time, with me trying to explain to him why it was unlikely that some random woman would think it was a good idea to sleep with him. I think the MF couples were the only serious replies he ever got.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:08 PM
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His prick-ness loses him his hot girlfriend and his best friend and creative partner. Did you maybe need him to break his ankle as well?

Nope. I just needed it to be understood that his losses were an appropriate result in a just world, and that this character was not an appropriate figure of sympathy.



Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:09 PM
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I just needed it to be understood that his losses were an appropriate result in a just world, and that this character was not an appropriate figure of sympathy.

But the latter doesn't follow from the former.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:13 PM
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116: True. I'm making an argument specific to this movie, and not stating a general principal.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:14 PM
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And, yet, apparently, he tried it twice!

I think it's in an early Salman Rushdie novel where the protagonist finds a guy raping a donkey on two separate occasions, who explains, "You have to try everything twice, once to find out if you like it, twice to be sure.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:17 PM
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Right, because you never know if you didn't get a bad donkey.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:17 PM
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Way to bring the victim-blaming, Moby.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:19 PM
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118: This guy won't be making sure about raccoon sex.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:20 PM
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Oh hey, speaking of when you tell people stuff about your past: at what point do you tell the white woman you've been sleeping with that you're "supposed to marry a Korean girl"? Do you wait until she asks if you're planning to leave her for an Asian girl?


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:21 PM
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Regarding previous dating history, I only fairly late in the game realized that there's no need to refer to an ex-girlfriend as such if a story doesn't need that detail. I tripped over myself a lot trying to tell a story before I had that "oh, duh" moment.

"This crazy story I'm telling you all took place while I was at the beach with...um...a friend. Yes. That's it. Together, we found five dollars."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:24 PM
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104: Thanks.

95.2: I've shaped my own liberal bubble, expunging shitheads from my life - at least my romantic life. Heebie apparently did the same ("As I matured, that was a deal-breaker.") I get that certain kinds of people exist, but why have them in your life when so many other types of people exist?

If we're still talking about numbers of people slept with, and/or in what ways, I just don't think of those who might be taken aback by numbers or configurations beyond what they themselves are familiar with as shitheads. Not necessarily.

Sure, if they're so taken aback that they decide you're a slut, it's all off. But this kind of thing goes both ways: those who have a fairly robust sexual history can be taken aback by those who've been relatively chaste. It's certainly not necessary that there be a match in sexual experiences between two parties. Just that everyone be cool with the other.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:25 PM
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122: I think I'll make that into its own post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:26 PM
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Actually, I take back that last link, which was really lame. I was hoping it was going to be about people who date people they know they won't be serious about, without telling the other person this--like in AWB's stories. There was a weird bit of nostalgia when I saw the byline, though--wasn't she the third host on MTV's Loveline, back in the late 90s?


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:26 PM
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I know several white girls who were dumped for that reason. In one case, the man has not yet married and his mom wrote to my friend to take the blame and apologize. So far, it has cost her grandkids.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:28 PM
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I was going to remark on how all the no-Asian-intermarriage anecdotes I've heard are about Asian guys being forbidden from marrying white girls, but I just realized I know an Asian-girl-defying-parents-about-white-guy story. So, uh. I guess this is a pretty lame comment.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:31 PM
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123: there's no need to refer to an ex-girlfriend as such if a story doesn't need that detail

This. Totally. Later, once you know one another well enough to know the names of the respective exes, okay, but otherwise, there's no need to specify.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:32 PM
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Between 125 and 126, one of us should feel pretty dumb.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:35 PM
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Quite.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:40 PM
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but I just realized I know an Asian-girl-defying-parents-about-white-guy story

Regular readers of the blog know at least one.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:47 PM
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Between 125 and 126, one of us should feel pretty dumb.

I don't mean to be a jerk, but that's a very high "number." Also, what's with the imprecision? I mean, I guess it depends how you count things...


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:48 PM
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I don't go around telling people I'm dating about my extremely varied and extremely infrequent sexual experiences, but I am out about being bi and not trying to rush into a constant-contact monogamous-type relationship. I think the most attractive kind of woman is a strict hetero who has had a ton of sex but only in one or two relationships.

I'm with Blume on numbers. I didn't stop counting because it got too high; I stopped counting when I realized it wasn't going up much anymore.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:50 PM
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Actually that's a joke because I don't date.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:51 PM
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it wasn't going up much anymore

But you repeat yourself.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:52 PM
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I think the most attractive kind of woman is a strict hetero who has had a ton of sex but only in one or two relationships.

There now, we see why this is such a dangerous conversation.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 12:59 PM
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AWB's just picky like that.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:01 PM
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There now, we see why this is such a dangerous conversation.

Because people talk about expectations that they encounter?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:02 PM
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Really, everyone should post their number, or numbers, depending.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:03 PM
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139: Oh, did I misunderstand? I thought AWB was speaking in her own voice, and that's fine, of course; but did I misunderstand and she's saying that this is just an expectation that she encounters? That would make more sense.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:05 PM
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141: Ha, yes, I did not mean "to me."


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:08 PM
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Is 141 sarcastic?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:08 PM
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142: Okay. I really did misunderstand, and was a little thrown.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:11 PM
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Sweet fancy Moses:

Andrew Breitbart, personally in attendance at Rep. Anthony Weiner's press conference, just took to the stage, grabbed the mic and held forth to the assembled media. This was before Weiner took the stage.

From TPM.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:12 PM
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145: Freals. I just saw a bit of that and wondered if TPM had screwed up their headline. CWAA.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:21 PM
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Apparently there are additional revelations about Weiner, which don't necessarily look good for him.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:23 PM
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Fucking Weiner. Goddamnit.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:27 PM
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Yay for bike lanes!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:30 PM
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I wish I were all muscular like today's congressmen. Maybe I should do more yoga?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:31 PM
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COCK PICTURES PROMOTE CYCLING, STUDY FINDS


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:37 PM
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I feel like sexting is, on a percentage basis, more common among members of the US House of Representatives than it is among 16 year olds.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:39 PM
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As long as he doesn't resign!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:40 PM
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115, 117: Dude makes mistake, dude learns from mistake. What did he do that was so terribly unsympathetic for you, besides be played by Ben Affleck*?

* also, I think Affleck is way better in Chasing Amy than in most of the movies I've seen him in.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:43 PM
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I wonder what the point of lying about that was. I mean, I get the point, especially if you're not a public figure, but the washington press corps only gives up on small, insignificant stories, like torture and financial fraud and unemployment. They weren't going to let this go.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:45 PM
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I think Affleck is way better in Chasing Amy than in most of the movies I've seen him in

Armageddon is underrated, but most people don't realize that you can root for the space rock.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:46 PM
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155 to 154? If so, you should always avoid telling the truth if you liked a Affleck movie.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 1:58 PM
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Good heavens. Breitbart told the truth about something -- what are the odds?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:05 PM
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I hadn't followed the Weiner story for several days after it started. I wish I'd stuck with that.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:07 PM
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I feel so bad that I wasn't making really horrible jokes about this on the grounds that it probably wouldn't amount to anything.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:08 PM
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160: Don't be so hard-on yourself.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:11 PM
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This kind of opportunity doesn't come very often.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:12 PM
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And when it does, it's all too brief.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:12 PM
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I shouldn't get all pumped up over nothing, I suppose.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:14 PM
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Oh man. I was just defending Weiner last night. D'oh.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:23 PM
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Oh man. I was just defending Weiner last night. D'oh.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:23 PM
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It seems Weiner can stand up for himself.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:26 PM
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165: I can't condom that kind of behavior.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:26 PM
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It was certainly premature.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:27 PM
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But what can you say but aw, nuts.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:28 PM
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170: Scrotes.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:31 PM
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I think that part of the boot camp training for aspiring politicians should be how to engage in sexual misconduct in ways that won't get you busted. Obviously there are some who will do it no matter what, so lets make sure they stay out of the headlines so the press doesn't have these feeding frenzies to distract them from reporting stuff that's actually worth knowing about.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:33 PM
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Dude makes mistake, dude learns from mistake. What did he do that was so terribly unsympathetic for you, besides be played by Ben Affleck*?

I saw that long enough ago that I won't vouch for my memory, but it seems to me that the only lesson the Affleck character retained was that he was ill-served by his narrow-mindedness. I don't recall any regret for the damage he'd done anyone else. (And did he really repent? Or just recognize that life presents us with unfortunate dilemmas?)


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:41 PM
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I think I only saw that movie because my previous two girlfriends had both been named Amy. That did not make the movie worthwhile.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:54 PM
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174: Holden writes a comic recapping the events of the movie, which ends with an explicit apology to Alyssa.

Since the whole movie is more or less a recursive self-examination of wrongs done plus apology from Kevin Smith to Joey Lauren Adams, I suppose how you feel about the one will pretty much inform how you feel about the other, but it seems like it was good enough for her.


Posted by: Hamilton-Lovecraft | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 2:56 PM
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158: Good heavens. Breitbart told the truth about something -- what are the odds?

Yep, that's the worst part--he'll eat dinner off of this one for years. I suspect all of the activity that made it look like it was a hoax or setup was from a few folks who had gotten wind that something was up (maybe some of the other "romances" in addition to this one) and were closely monitoring and ready to spring. Or, hell, this one itself might still have actually been posted via the yfrog exploit knowing it would probably smoke out the other stuff.

Christ, what a dick.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:01 PM
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176

... Or, hell, this one itself might still have actually been posted via the yfrog exploit ...

Weiner admitted he sent it. He acted guilty from the start. This is what happens when people really hack the accounts of prominent politicians.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:36 PM
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His not confirming or denying his own wiener now looks like he knew the charge might stick and he wanted to be jokingly dismissive so that he did not say anything that could be proven false.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:50 PM
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176: Oops, missed that, did not know he admitted this specific tweet,


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:52 PM
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Thank goodness Congress is only ceremonial or this kind of stuff could be a problem.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 5:54 PM
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The top post at Balloon Juice right now notes that Weiner's seat is safe for a Dem to replace him, so not to worry Congressionally too much.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:09 PM
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It won't be hard for the Dems to stretch the fabric of the district into a fruitful climax after a stiff fight at the poles.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:13 PM
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182: You don't think they have to worry about electile dysfunction?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:15 PM
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AFAICT, the Weiner story is politically important only if you're invested in Weiner's mayoral prospects. Which have endured some shrinkage.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:15 PM
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I thought what's his name was mayor for life.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:26 PM
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184: and, as previously pointed out many times, boy was he a fucking tool about bike lanes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:27 PM
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No pun, if you'll believe it, intended.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:27 PM
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Speaking of bikes, I saw a sweet-looking mixte yesterday and thought of Blume and Tweety, one (or both!) of whom mentioned mixtes here previously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:49 PM
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I have a long-standing grudge against Anthony Weiner. Still, he should retain his congressional seat--although God knows what horrific positions he'll have to take as pay-off to his local powers-that-be. His star will be a bit dimmed, though: he's unlikely to be covered as "mayoral-hopeful Anthony Weiner" or "2016 dark-horse Anthony Weiner" at this point.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:50 PM
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"Internet pervert Anthony Weiner..."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:55 PM
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AFAICT, the Weiner story is politically important only if you're invested in Weiner's mayoral prospects.

Apparently, Weiner was pretty much the only congressperson willing to press the point that Clarence Thomas seems to have misreported multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars in lobbying money on his disclosure forms.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 6:57 PM
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189: Ugh -- I forgot he was all up in that. Gross.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:05 PM
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191: it's not just that, I'm afraid. Weiner was consistently willing to push back, hard, against Republican bullshit. (That's what made it believable, even to a real cynic like me, that his Twitter account had been hacked or whatever; he seemed like a likely target for ratfucking.) Given that, his diminished stature (har-har) will be bad news for Democrats across the board. I mean, he's funny, quick on his feet, and willing to throw a punch. I can't really think of another person in the caucus with those qualities. Plus, for a Jew, he's pretty well hung.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:06 PM
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Sigh, he was our tighty whitey knight.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 06- 6-11 7:15 PM
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