Man oh man. That poor woman, and those poor kids.
All too common. Unfortunately Grandma needs to just do what she can for the grandkids and cut the daughters loose but she probably won't do that.
The one daughter isn't going to ever be responsible and will continue to be in and out of jail and the other daughter probably has no real intentions of leaving that boyfriend and is calling and saying what she knows will get grandma to send money.
no real intentions of leaving that boyfriend and is calling and saying what she knows will get grandma to send money
That was my thought as well.
Every word of 2 is god's own truth. Regrettably.
I'm still cranky about $500 I wired to my sister-in-law way back when so she could leave her husband after they had a fight that got violent. Ideally, she would have used the money to leave him. If she decided against that, ideally she would have returned the money. If she decided against that, ideally she would have, oh, mentioned it or said thanks or something sometime.
OTOH, they did at least eventually separate (like, a decade later), and she's employed now and mostly less annoying. So I should get over it. Which I have except when something brings it to mind.
I have not heard too many stories like this that go very differently from 2, unfortunately. Many of my working-class relatives are in essentially the same boat (although they're probably more analogous to the grandmother, as it will take another generation or two before they're so mired in the cycle of poverty that they'll have no chance to escape.)
One of the things I've always found comforting about The Grapes of Wrath is my English teacher's comment that, very likely, everyone who survived the novel wound up eventually getting good wartime factory jobs, and the kids got to go to school in California, which at the time had an amazingly good educational system (certainly compared to Oklahoma, at least).
Unfortunately, now we have a war with no industry, and if we ever have a peace, it won't include the kinds of social investments that the late 1940s and 1950s did.
Of course, it always helps to be white.
very likely, everyone who survived the novel wound up eventually getting good wartime factory jobs
This. The first time this unfortunate family came up, I mentioned my best childhood/adolescent friend whose mothers and sisters are almost exactly like this. He was also the male version of this for years, until he lucked out and got a solid, blue-collar job with a good salary and good benefits. The change this has wrought in him has been amazing. He drinks less, doesn't do hard drugs anymore, takes care of his son (whom he fathered when he was 16), pays his bills, stays out jail. People respect him, he respects himself. None of this used to be the case. It's amazing what taking the precariousness out of someone's life can do for them.
Yeah, gswift nails it in two. Grandma needs to be logical but probably can't be.
Thanks. Doin' fine. Learning C, Objective C, Cocoa, and other assorted Apple sauces.
|| First world problem: say a friend photoshops a photo of you in a way meant to be funny and relate to an earlier joke, and it's sitting there on your facebook page being creepy and slightly embarrassing. How rude is it to simply delete it? Should you just wait for it to move down the page into oblivion?
|>
(Just looked)
Wait, I don't get the problem.
If I could find the amazingly unpleasant picture of me that I have untagged I'd present it as an example of what you should really be worried about, but I can't find it.
13: It is making me laugh. I still think it is funny that I subscribed to his (then paper) 'zine in like 1994 or whatever.
He is relentlessly funny. But for some reason the picture creeps me out.
I'm entertained by the sidebar right now.
I would make it my profile photo, but perhaps that's just me.
18: Delete it. You don't owe anyone else some MDR of your discomfort.
Apparently MDR is French for LOL, the internet thinks?
Not "minimum daily requirement" as in vitamins or coffee?
Tweety, Are we going to have a meetup or did it already happenl, and I just missed it?