Re: Another's White Meat

1

I stole a goat one time. But then I returned it, several weeks later, to its rightful owner. Or at least I returned it to the fields of its rightful owner. I think my conscience is clean.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 8:29 PM
horizontal rule
2

1: Hey! Me too! Although I returned it right after the croquet game.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 8:37 PM
horizontal rule
3

Yes, I had the devil of a time placating old Mr. Blenham


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:28 PM
horizontal rule
4

Although I returned it right after the croquet game.

Well, obviously.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:29 PM
horizontal rule
5

2: That happened your year? Wow. I've never met anyone who actually participated in that particular ritual.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:31 PM
horizontal rule
6

Also, is there any truth to the rumor that a goat was roasted Homeric-style during the game?


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:32 PM
horizontal rule
7

5: Ha! Truthfully, I wasn't with them when they stole Billy (although I was "in on it" and they used my then-boyfriend's car* -- and he was a middie!). I did return the goat though to the front desk of "The Hall" (the giant middie dorm). So I got to walk through town in my summer-dress finest leading a goat on a rope.

*He still has this car and the headliner is still goat-torn.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:36 PM
horizontal rule
8

6: Ah, see 5. We pet and fed the poor dear and kept him looped to the Liberty Tree.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:39 PM
horizontal rule
9

So I got to walk through town in my summer-dress finest leading a goat on a rope.

Unfogged hotttness high-water mark? You decide.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:40 PM
horizontal rule
10

I stole a goat one time. But then I returned it, several weeks later, to its rightful owner.

Did he really want your sloppy seconds?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:44 PM
horizontal rule
11

Did you say you needed a pig stolen?


Posted by: Galahad Threepwood | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
12

I think stealing one goat is so much easier than stealing a hundred pigs that the two should be considered current topics.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 9:49 PM
horizontal rule
13

Hooray for 11!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 10:02 PM
horizontal rule
14

I'm reminded of the canadian serial killer who fed the victim's corpses to his hogs. What is a half rack of ribs, if not a murder cover-up?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 10:09 PM
horizontal rule
15

I wasn't with them when they stole Billy

The Pan High mascot?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-23-11 10:19 PM
horizontal rule
16

I knew a girl who stole a kitten once. The principles must be similar.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 4:49 AM
horizontal rule
17

16: my estimation of your character would be irrevocably sullied, unless, of course, you broke off all social relations whatever with her as soon as you found out this shocking fact. but naturally I won't do you the injustice of assuming anything else is the case. I imagine even a young flippanter was a boy of sterling moral qualities.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 5:38 AM
horizontal rule
18

"Describe physiological reaction of profound puzzlement."


Posted by: Interstellar Pig | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 6:02 AM
horizontal rule
19

17. Perhaps she stole the kitten from its villainous owner who was planning to eat it for dinner.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 6:02 AM
horizontal rule
20

I'm going to a wedding where there will be a bunch a farmers, so I will ask for pig-stealing tips.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 6:08 AM
horizontal rule
21

17: Let's just say I don't talk to her anymore.

On using the novels of P.G. Wodehouse as a guide: Empress of Blandings was some pig, but even she could not have been more difficult to pignap than 3-5 ordinary pigs. Even Jeeves might have momentary trouble spiriting away more than a dozen swine.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 6:15 AM
horizontal rule
22

When I was much younger and much stupider, during a late night revelry, I was part of a small group that determined to "borrow" briefly some horses put to winter range on the Blackfeet rez. Much laughter was had, attainment of the objective was extremely limited, but no one went to the hospital.

7 -- Anyone I know? (To save a trip to the archives, it's been previously established that while a student, our friend Oud dated a fellow who was (a) a son of the man who had held the job I then had previously to me and (b) the best friend of the brother of a young woman who had lived with us as a foster child a few years earlier.)


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 6:37 AM
horizontal rule
23

On the pig stealing, I asked my dad and he gave me an answer that could be summarized as "Practice, practice, practice."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:14 AM
horizontal rule
24

23: Now ask him how he'd steal a dressage horse.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:19 AM
horizontal rule
25

Your dad has practiced stealing pigs a lot?

How does this work? Start with white mice, then work up through guinea pigs and baa-lambs and so forth until you feel you're ready to deal with a damn great boar with attitude?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:19 AM
horizontal rule
26

Obviously, the grays have wrapped up their cattle analyses and now are tractor-beaming pigs up up and away.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:37 AM
horizontal rule
27

He has experience with pigs from his youth and has had more recent legal involvement with pig thievery. Most of the bigger farms have security cameras now, he says.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:37 AM
horizontal rule
28

Yo, dudes and dudettes! What's the haps?


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:54 AM
horizontal rule
29

He has experience with pigs from his youth and has had more recent legal involvement with pig thievery.

Go on.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 8:31 AM
horizontal rule
30

29: if the pigs are stolen by executive order, it's not illegal.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 8:54 AM
horizontal rule
31

Unfogged hotttness high-water mark? You decide.

No contest.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 1:07 PM
horizontal rule
32

Oudemia: OT, just in case you knew him, apparently NMM to Mr. B\erns


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 4:01 PM
horizontal rule
33

I learned at the viewing for my grandfather, while looking at old pictures, that apparently a relative we were looking at in a black and white photo had gone out to feed the pigs, and died, and succeeded in feeding the pigs more than anticipated. This created much laughter amongst the people being told the story. Laugh at a funeral and all that.


Posted by: Rance | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:30 PM
horizontal rule
34

32: Oh no. Did folks still call him L0g0s Larry? His wife told me the story of their courtship and it was adorable beyond reason.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:38 PM
horizontal rule
35

34: I heard the name (& of course the less kind "Polonius"). He retired around the time I started, so not many of my contemporaries knew him.

G\isela is still well, had a hand in organizing today's memorial service.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 7:44 PM
horizontal rule
36

it's a shame john emerson isn't here to bond with rance.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09-24-11 11:59 PM
horizontal rule
37

36: Hott.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 09-25-11 1:16 AM
horizontal rule
38

36: Hott

Only to be expected, given the title of the post. Which is, however, racist.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 09-25-11 7:47 PM
horizontal rule
39

17: Wait, you have your own personal mercenary yet think that social relations should be severed over kitten stealing?


Posted by: wink ;) | Link to this comment | 09-25-11 11:00 PM
horizontal rule