They say the first rule of criminal defense law is: get paid up front. I'd think the same would apply when there's a nonzero chance your interior decorating client could flee to Dubai on a whim while threatening to have snipers take out your loved ones, but what do I know.
Plus I'm making money!
Well okay then. Oo-rah.
yeah well maybe I wasn't exercising the best judgment ever. but you do have to keep in mind the fact that I took the job before he told me he had turned into an insane mercenary. I thought he was just driving around guarding the USAID convoys, a perfectly respectable thing to do.
he is the type of person who says "oo-rah." halford: I've got 20K of his money up front.
more or less having a panic attack in ikea. unable to determine whether this is the nature of ikea or that my friend scares the shit out of me. overdetermined.
I enjoy your posts. Glad the recovery thing is sticking. GET OUT!
- Love.
In all seriousness, if you were a real-life friend of mine, this is creepy enough I would no longer be taking your calls in fear of getting sucked into whatever bad news is about to go down.
I'm kind of stuck now, aren't I? until the house is finished? I can't just say "I've decided not to work for you because you have people killed all the time and its freaking me out"? wait, that doesn't sound totally crazy.
My impression of your past from your posts, is that our histories are not too different. Your dealing with a professional murderer, and that's fine, but what comes through in your posts is that you don't feel safe around him, at all, and that's not fine. Trust your instincts.
Honestly, you write about him in the tone of someone who has a crush on him. Not that you couldn't turn him down if he made a pass at you or whatever, but just the level of stimulation / excitement / arousal in the way you write about him is very high. (Even if that arousal comes out as fear, it is still arousal). I'm not sure violence is the issue exactly, as I'm sure he doesn't just walk around killling acquaintances and contractors on a whim, even if there are billing disputes. But it sounds like there is some subconscious part of you that *wants* this relationship to be exciting and complicated and stimulating, in whatever way.
Of course, these are just the vague impressions of a stranger on the internet. Take it for what its worth.
eh, obviously I also had kind of a crush on him when I first knew him, that's why I had a talk with him about not seeing him anymore. clearly I'm fascinated, but he upsets me. he's handsome and has icy cold blue eyes and kills people, what's not to like, right? I told my husband he was missing his chance to feel superior because he has been getting in great shape recently, while my mercenary friend, consumed by anxiety, has gained weight eating comforting snacks in afghanistan (it's either this or you become obsessed with exercising, he says, kind of like jail.) but husband x had to leave before my friend got here and had to feel superior at a distance.
he's just...a bundle of nerves, and upsetting me on purpose by telling me very disturbing things I've promised not to tell anyone else. I should just say no at the promise point, I guess. he's getting divorced and he's miserable and he wants to tell me about it. if I really felt like fucking up my entire life obviously I could have sex with him, and I am self-destructive and crazy, but honestly if it came down to fucking up my life completely I'd go get a $80 straw of heroin and some of those gorgeous tiny diabetic needles they sell without a prescription, everywhere. no one ever has disappointing sex when they shoot up. it's exactly like how you think it's going to be: fucking amazing. but am I going to do that? no.
I should just say no at the promise point, I guess. he's getting divorced and he's miserable and he wants to tell me about it.
I completely understand wanting to listen to his stories and being fascinated by the whole thing, but I think it's a terrible idea. For one thing, you're kind of fond of him -- the more energy he spends crushing on you and confiding in you, the less likely he is to find some more available source of emotional support. Being kind of cold and dull and only interested in his furniture choices is probably the best thing you could do for him. (And of course all the obvious stuff about being enmeshed with a scary guy you're kind of crushing on and sending ambiguous signals to is a huge risk of someone, you or him, making a bad decision at some point. But you know all that.)
Something about all this seems odd. I cannot be the only person who has read time and again (thanks, Robert Young Pelton!) that special operations/private military contractor people don't volunteer that fact or many details of their experiences, PTSD notwithstanding.
Well, yeah, he's either making stuff up or being a bad military contractor by talking about things he shouldn't. I don't think there's any way to tell from here what's going on.
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Reasons to avoid Facebook, #4,376. Go and sign one of the petitions linked.
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13: Yeah, I used to be very close to someone who had been special forces during one of our sillier wars, and even years later, when it wouldn't have mattered much to spill details, I never did hear anything besides what was on the official military record. Just a few joking hints (when you're left with scars, you have to be able to say something to the ladies to prove your bad-assness, right?) and some finely rehearsed war stories that hewed strictly to the official story. Then again, I probably lack the seductive confession powers of alameida.
he just has literally no one else to tell. also, he's fucking with me. and if you're in the military you get security clearance and you shut the fuck up. when he actually worked out of the embassy he never told me anything about his job except in a general way. but if you're just, say freelancing? obviously a loose cannon to begin with, so...
literally no one else to tell
Mmm. I think the situation would be improved immensely for him and you if he found someone else, and that your not listening would make that likelier.
I fully support this relationship and look forward to more posts!
PGD just states the obvious in 10. Not that it isnt worth repeating.
There was an interesting study where an attractive female researcher gave out her phone number to men she had just met under two conditions that were socially the same, but physically different: In the experimental group, the chance encounter took place on a high, wobbly footbridge. People who met the woman in the scary situation were far more likely to call her afterward.
One account of this experiment I read explained it in terms of people mistaking their own emotions. You think you are in love, but really you are afraid. That didn't strike me as right, though. Its more like being afraid is a part of being in love, and if the fear comes from an external factor, rather than your beloved, well, that's just how love is.
In any case, al, given that you are a risk-taker and a thrill-seeker by nature, this might be the kind of limited, controlled weirdness that you want in your life. I guess that's where you were going with your heroin remark, but I think you are right.
It's a pretty thrilling situation. And not obviously a mistake, so long as you keep your wits: so far so good.
It's hard to see how ordering hits on individual Afghans (right?) could be a good idea. Doesn't becoming a participant in various feuds ultimately put his client's at risk? That is, he's not supposed to be the target, the clients are. And he hopes that they won't be targeted individually because their deaths aren't worth the risk. And yet, here he is becoming a target worth risk at a completely different level.
and some of those gorgeous tiny diabetic needles they sell without a prescription
Christ I get sick of dealing with those. Everyone, please smoke your drugs.
Insulin doesn't work if you smoke it. Why do you hate people with diabetes?
They're always whining about something. "Please help me get this piece of candy unwrapped, my bloodsugar's crashing and I can't get it open." Bitch, bitch, bitch. Maybe the rest of us have problems too.
I wouldn't admit to being afraid of say I fear needles, but I'm glad I don't have diabetes.
"Please help me get this piece of candy unwrapped, my bloodsugar's crashing and I can't get it open."
Happened right in front of me to a professor of mine (in the lounge, not class). Somebody more alert than me figured out what was happening.
Why do you hate people with diabetes?
How come everyone forgets their blood testing stuff when they go out to shoplift but always have their needles with them?
Generally though I'd rather talk to a heroin user than a meth user any day. Heroin addicts are usually much more honest about having a problem. Meth fries people's brains and turns them into liars with psychopathic levels of adherence to the lies and way too much energy to keep telling the lies. Heroin users just break down and talk about still being hooked but a meth user will continue to chatter about diabetes long after you've pulled empty baggies with residue off of them along with the needles and you've already told them half a dozen times to STFU and now you're beginning to wonder if a taser jolt will stop their heart and give you some peace.
I love you gswift. tase a meth-head for me sometime.
Winter's Bone was excellent.
BR's new residents are always a bunch of sissies when it comes to demonstrating how to use insulin.
So, she ends up jabbing herself a ton of times demonstrating how easy it is.
I love you gswift.
I'd like to second this. Your career change upped the entertainment value of this place significantly.
Don't US diabetics standardly use a pen? I don't think I've ever met a diabetic who uses a syringe.
That said, I bought a pack of syringes a while ago to use while measuring photographic chemicals, and it's not a problem getting hold of them.
In any case, al, given that you are a risk-taker and a thrill-seeker by nature,
Careful, when JBS said this it turned out to be one of the most hurtful things anyone's ever said.
22: anyway you get bronchitis like a motherfucker when you smoke all the time, especially if you have asthma to begin with. I had a friend who had to leave my apartment because he couldn't watch me smoke while I was struggling to breathe. I once turned blue like that and came within a few minutes of being intubated (it was interesting actually having blue fingers and lips). chasing the dragon is a pain in the ass. if the west coast didn't get only black tar from mexico they could snort it like civilized people, but somehow our great nation has fallen down on the innovation front here. no one from NYC ever thought of selling out west? what's going on there? though you can make a solution in water and snort that, but dag, snorting liquid is foul. have a little sympathy here, gswift. drug addicts are people just like you and me.
32: I wasn't going to bother to mention it because he wants attention, but I'm deleting all comments from shearer ever on all my posts, so please don't bother to respond to his race-baiting. I didn't want make the conversation at the end of the bowie thread incomprehensible, so I stayed my hand, but otherwise, no. please pretend he's pauly shore on my threads. I'm not banning him generally, just from my posts.
Alameida, you should become a foster parent. I mean, it probably doesn't work like that in Narnia, but you get to deal with ridiculous situations and all kinds of interpersonal drama that everyone wants to tell you about when they shouldn't, plus there's heroin, although not for you and also not for parents who want to get their kids back.
Lee is totally freaking out still about the two newbies, but I think I've found my calm place. Once both of us get over the sinus infections the biggest brought with her (and the ear infection she gave Mara) life will improve. Until them, I'm being a single parent with an available helper. Once I realized it needs to be that until she stops being panicky, I was fine with it. When I thought the goal was instant 50-50 and all she was doing was cleaning the house, that was no good emotionally. I promise I won't talk about this as much as I did the Mara stuff, but I have a fucking sinus infection and kids who are 3 and 4 with me today, though I get to drop the 4-year-old at preschool in a few hours, so life is a bit intense. Tomorrow we'll have bussing and aftercare and he can go all day!
thorn, I am not 1/10th as awesome as you and I would never have the strength and fortitude to welcome little children into my life knowing that they had suffered terrible things and that they might get taken away at many time. you all are seriously amazing and I admire you greatly for it. if I want to talk to crazy people I have plenty in AA, but I don't have to take care of them all the time. well, sometimes, but not for long.
good night all, I have to get up early for a photoshoot with a magazine about my store. they are going to apply my makeup. I just hope they don't suck and make me look like a giant dork. they're bringing clothes! I have 20 billion clothes. if they're going to loan me some alberta feretti dress or something, awesome, but I think they'll make me look like a singapore office drone.
32: I'm sorry. I remembered that Shearer had said something similar in a really hurtful context but I was hoping that I didn't mean this in any victim-blaming sort of way. I should have just said that everyone finds this kind of brush with danger exciting and that alameida seems to be a safe distance away right now and to know what she is doing.
upped the entertainment value of this place significantly
I should be less lazy about telling stories. It's bananas out there.
but somehow our great nation has fallen down on the innovation front here. no one from NYC ever thought of selling out west? what's going on there?
I've totally wondered that same thing. Why only the tar and that brown sugar looking stuff? I've got a couple of buddies who are on a DEA task force, I'll have to ask them if the feds have any insight on this.
if someone awake during the day, such as neb, wishes to clean the thread while I sleep, that would be nice.
Lee is totally freaking out still about the two newbies, but I think I've found my calm place.
Wait, I missed some details. You're fostering two new young children?
32: it's ok helpy-chalk. it did sting a bit though. seriously, I got kind of wrecked up for days about that. even now I'm just low-level miserable about ever having brought it up. so stupid of me! I still get a stomachache when think about it. but you are an actual person with feelings and I assume you mean me well, so I didn't take in too ill a spirit.
I sometimes also would like to point out that I am neither totally self-unaware nor a bad writer. although maybe you (I mean this generally) are teasing out the hidden nuances of the post which I revealed unintentionally, it's also possible that I know what the fuck I'm doing and wrote it like that anyway because I fucking felt like it. just a thought.
Heebie, yeah, we had a five-year-pld girl and her four-year-old brother move in Thursday, after about four hours to prepare. So until Mara's birthday next month, we'll have 5-4-3. It's fucking crazy, but I'm starting to get the hang of things.
These two don't seem to have particularly traumatic histories, other than the part where they had to leave their parents to lilve with an older relative who then decided she couldn't keep up with them any longer and handed them over to the state(=us) and here we are. It really makes me appreciate how traumatized and hurt Mara was and how much she has grown and attached to us over the year.
On the other hand, Mara knows more letters, numbers, letter sounds than even the kindergartener. Homework is going to be a fight for a long time, I think. Though they know Ke$ha lyrics and Mara doesn't, so I guess it's a tradeoff. I'm expecting them to return home to family (and Lee's saying no way in hell would we want to adopt this close in age anyway) but it'll take at least a few months for their parents to show suffient progress to take custody, I suspect.
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Something tells me this may be up Alex's street:
http://thequietus.com/articles/07107-tyson-joe-goddard-remix-download
>
42: Again, I'm sorry. I also want to say that I appreciate the writing style you adopt for this blog. Reading your posts is one of the big reasons I come around so often.
Oh, and I don't feel like a morally good person for fostering. I mean, someone has to take care of these kids and we said yes because we'd rather it be us than someone else, since we are from the same town and can keep them in the same school. I mean, I think everyone should be more other-minded than most of us (myself included) are, but I'm just living out principles and not actually being a good person. Or that's how it feels. It's a bigger stretch for Lee, who values "selfishness" (her word) over all. But I really don't think I'm anything special as a person, and that's not false modesty or fishing for praise but just something I've thought about a lot.
I should be less lazy about telling stories. It's bananas out there.
You definitely should. We demand regular and frequent anecdotes of low-level criminal lunacy.
43: Wow, Thorn! Just wow! Echoing 36 except in my case it's more like not 1/100th as awesome.
Oh, and I don't feel like a morally good person for fostering. I mean, someone has to take care of these kids and we said yes because we'd rather it be us than someone else, since we are from the same town and can keep them in the same school.
Sure, and I don't feel bad for not fostering. Nevertheless, you guys are doing a ton of work in order to help a couple (presumably cute) little kids.
47: I'd say you're in about the worst possible position to decide if you're anything special as a person. What you're doing is a good thing, and it's a huge effort, and however you feel or don't feel about yourself because of it doesn't matter -- it's still a good thing to be doing. So take the praise.
meth user will continue to chatter about diabetes long after you've pulled empty baggies with residue off of them along with the needles
I thought meth was smoked/snorted. Am I way off?
(I've wondered for years if the sharps disposals you sometimes see in airports and other public accommodations are intended for legit or illegitimately-used needles, and why they only have them in some places)
Ok, LB, granted it's a ton of work and a huge pain and at the moment a lot of financial stress, though once their reimbursements come in after a month and we sell our other house in a few weeks that will get better. I just always feel awkward when the praise is that I'm a great person, because whatever, I'm me. But yes, I'm glad that people think this is a job worth doing well and respect that it's hard and sad and frustrating.
The good thing is that since this was so obviously stressful and fast, we're getting a lot more offers to help than we got with Mara. That's great, because we need it a lot more than we did with Mara. Just the logistics of three car seats in the back of my little Camry.... Yeah, it's work.
I thought meth was smoked/snorted. Am I way off?
It is. So is heroin. And you can cook and shoot up both as well.
alameida, I am honestly confused about what observations are okay to make about your posts and what will be hurtful.
I have the impression playing 44 back would be considered a little fast and possibly disruptive even in the funky offices of Shoreditch...
..even, I note, literally three doors from where the guy's playing tonite.
We're having our festival of how to avoid blood-borne pathogens right now. Interestingly, we don't put our lunch in the lab fridge because of the blood-borne pathogen rules. I'd always assumed it was because nobody wanted to eat a lunch out of a fridge filled with urine samples.
On one level I agree with all the warnings; who the fuck wouldn't?--but I still can't read this narrative voice as giving us some transparent view of alameida's psyche. this stuff is artfully presented. we have a name for a woman who narrates this sort of story in the sort of way. we call her an unreliable narrator. we also call her the protagonist. this is literature. and this is why blume's reaction above seems honest and unavoidable....
32:
That's not what he said. I don't think alameida has a big problem with people suggesting that she has a risk-taking streak.
Shearer claimed that her thrill-seeking had nothing to do with past bad events as part of an effort to minimize the effects her history has had on her. Denying her experience was his dick move.
Well, I still think she and Scott Eric K. should collaborate on a non-fiction Southern Gothic novel.
ya ok blume, fair enough. having everyone react with a sufficient 'what the fuck' was actually helpful to begin with because it helped me realized how totally fucked up the whole situation was. helpy-chalk mildly annoyed me because he happened to almost exactly quote part of what shearer had to say when he pissed me off so bad, though not the most relevant part; I don't think you have to be a genius to figure our why that would irritate me.
nonetheless I actually do (now, as the current person I am) have a self-destructive and risk taking personality, as we've all noticed. nor is it unfair for someone to point it out again. and you can give me advice if you want. "I'd stay the fuck away from this guy because he's obviously a fucking psychopath and you think that's hott in a guy, apparently, wtf," for example. sure. I'm not offended or anything. I'm just mildly irritated by the suggestion I haven't noticed that myself. perhaps I should narrate in a different tone? but, look I've been narrating in this style for a while now, it would be difficult to switch gears. if you want to say "christ, al, do something more sensible," I won't be offended.
john is still probably right, but it's not as if you're not curious now, right? really, you can say whatever you want that a normal human being who actually cared for me would say, and that includes; "you're bring a fucking idiot and it's sweet that you think you're not going to fuck this guy when...ah, push comes to shove, let's say, as is not entirely unlikely, but we all know you are, so maybe you should think a little harder about that, miss jokeypants." otoh, I'm not going to fuck him. really, I've given it some thought and everything.
61: a mix of Pat Conroy, Faulkner, and o'connor, with a smidgen of dark west.,
Unfogged needs crazy. Too few people open up and show their lives approaching the crazy.
65: Sure, it's good for the blog. But is it good for the person?
Other than her, who else? DQ? Lots of people have something horribly cringe- worthy going on.
67: it isn't like it isn't going on. Most people have some messed up parts of their lives.
They usually try to fix it rather than court and celebrate it. Maybe that's just me.
Who tries to fix it?!?! They say they want to fix their crazy but they don't take any actual steps.
True, true. That's what makes it crazy, I guess. It is hard to have a conversation in those circumstances.
At least the temptations are all out in the open and husband X is au courant? It's much safer, psychically and matrimonially, when these odd whiffs of wanderlust get aired. It's probably just a whiff, but keeping it secret might create something more.
Take care of yourself, alameida! The work does sound interesting and productive. If it's at all possible, do post photos to the Flickr stream.
The interior design, the furniture. I like decor pr0n.
Man, will and I are really interested in different things.
As long as they're not too much like Anthony Weiner's texts. Because everybody's done that, and it is to roll one's eyes. One is not on the edge of one's seat.
One would have been on the edge of his seat if the underwear wasn't so tight.
I'll put them up on my IRL design site when they're done. the design pr0n, not the texts. and then I will direct you to it in some appropriately roundabout way.
as I mentioned previously, it's my husband's opinion that all my non-gay male friends are in love with me, and some of the gay ones (which is sweet of him) so it's always been his opinion that I could be sleeping with dozens of other people if I felt like, but don't, on account of being faithfully married. which I am. and we've had plenty of long explicit talks about our sincere desire not to get divorced ever, on account of the children, but also because it just seems like it sucks the worst ever, and also we have a great relationship. and he's fun to have sex with, I mean, what does a person want else?
I really made the decision of whom to marry based only in part on who was the kindest, nicest person, but in part on raw brainpower. it turns out I'm a snob this way to a degree perhaps hitherto thought impossible. my former male-model-turned berkeley logic phd? eh, not as smart as husband x. by like one minute degree. sure, fun to talk about the tractatus with, but later wittgenstein? husband x really blows him out of the water there.
but are you supposed to never have a crush on anyone ever the whole time you're married? that's idiotic. you're just supposed to be honest with yourself, and your spouse, and the other person if they are lucky (sucks to be you, other person. if you were smarter you'd have figured it out sooner, but it only takes 3 weeks max even if you're dumb. on account of, are you fucking yet? no?) if literally zero physical contact ever takes place between you over the course of 5 years, and you continue to tell the person you're happily married can there really be said to be a lot of doubt or wiggle room here? ok, yes, in the imagination of crazy people. should you encourage psychotic people to have crushes on you? strictly speaking, no, it's a dumb idea. have I ever done any dumb shit before, supernaturally dumb, even just because I was bored? yes. am I currently doing this particular dumb thing? .3 repeating yes, .6 repeating not.
if you think a more reliable narrator would reverse the numbers, feel free to imagine that I am reliable and do so. anyway, my texts are not of the anthony weiner sort because I employ proper spelling, and even semicolons where required. it's as if neb were texting you.
Anyway, alameida said upthread it's not as if you're not curious now, right?
And the answer is no, not. Sorry babe, but the excitement and interest is confabulated by you.
Apologies. I think you should back away from this guy, and the blogging about him is just jazzing you even while you insist that it's all a big secret, which makes you seem/feel important and special. You have a marriage and children at hand, and a business and career that is, by all accounts, interesting in its own right. Lay off the steely blue-eyed gent who is so dangerous.
I mean, what does a person want else
Just that and a never ending parade of different women attending to my every whim laughter.
dark west
His first name is Cornel, racist.
Ot: have we bet on the Nobel prize yet? I love Pynchon, but don't think he gets it.
aw, parsimon, you can skip these and read about grading systems.
Nathanael, right? But why would anyone think his first name is "dark". You're not making sense, man.
The grading thread is a good time.
Does dq still comment here? Will no one else go through bad break up?!?!
I love Pynchon, but don't think he gets it.
Try texting him some war stories. He'll come around.
Does dq still comment here? Will no one else go through bad break up?!?!
Will that's some pathological shit right there.
The physics prize everyone has been predicting every year finally happened this year. I won't know what to guess next year.
I think Maurice Sendak should get the literature prize on the basis of this alone if nothing else.
I won't know what to guess next year
The E8 surfer dude! Hell of.
Sifu: you've gone soft if you don't enjoy a good breakup story.
Oh, and alameida, I was kidding about being a foster parent because as an AA/NA/whatever sponsor you're already dealing with trying to help people make better things out ofnthe miserable fuckery of their lives. To do more would be the bad kind of martyrish self-destructiveness.
I am about to go to sleep, since everyone else here already has. I'm just having a hard time making myself when this is the first quiet I've had all day. Little kids are pretty much intoleable, but I'm doing my best. They are indeed very cute, though I'm not a sucker for that as much as some folks are. (The new ones are white and so tiny compared to Mara. Getting used to both those things is a bit weird, but I haven't had the luxury of time to spend in major self-reflection.)
Sifu: you've gone soft if you don't enjoy a good breakup story.
Gone soft? Is the idea that at some point in the past I was interested in people liveblogging their breakups?
100 cont'd: ... and/or other urgent personal crises.
88: Grading systems make no sense to me: tests? weekly homework assignments? What's that, now?
The new ones are white and so tiny compared to Mara.
Like miniature Nathanael Wests.
Little kids are pretty much intoleable
They're exhausting and, like you say, once you finally get them to sleep you end up staying up late despite your complete exhaustion because you desperately need the quiet time to unwind if you stand a chance of doing it all over again the next day without locking them (or yourself) in a closet. And then they wake you up at 5 am for no apparent reason and demand Pop Tarts.
You can not tell them what a Pop Tart is, but that stops working after they realize they can learn useful shit if they can keep silent for 2 seconds.
Also, demanding a Pop Tart is a readily apparent reason.
103: Ah yes, perhaps I should go with Nathanael and Jessamyn instead of the pseuds I'd chosen, but I doubt I will.
Lee got rid of our toaster recently, so I've used that as an excuse when there's plaintive whining about Pop
Tarts. I did cave and buy some much-yearned-for bologna today, though I'm not looking forward to having to touch it to serve it.
What if you got organic bologna from Whole Foods?
Bologna yearning is a deep yearning.
We never eat bologna, but we do have hot dogs all the time. I think it's pretty much the same.
Maybe you need some kind of automatic bologna cannon so you don't have to touch it at all?
Hot dog cannons are easy. Just get a pipe and some Sugru.
You can steal a hog dog cannon from pretty much any baseball team AA or above.
My son loves him some good mortadella.
I guess if you go see the Yankees, you get better cuts of meat flung into the stands.
I spent the year I was in first grade eating only bologna sandwiches for lunch. Every day. Nothing else. A bologna sandwich (on Roman Meal whole wheat, with mayo) and a carton of milk.
Suddenly the summer after that I announced that I was sick of bologna. I don't think I've ever eaten it since.
A bologna sandwich (on Roman Meal whole wheat, with mayo) and a carton of milk.
I suppose it could have been more goyishe if you had opted for Wonder Bread.
I favor consistency in foods too. I consider it crazy that roman people only eat one of like 9 foods per season ever, but regard it as normal for me to eat the same breakfast every day for a year. children's lunches are just an extension of the breakfast principle. I am not 100% sure what my kids are eating because I just buy the adorable totoro-themed plastic bento boxes from the japanese store and my maid packs them in the pre 7am pitch black of narnian morning. while I sleep in. (just in case anyone was in any danger of feeling sympathetic.)
actually they're both home from school today with colds. while I am at work with a cold wearing stupid makeup and waiting for the photographer to come. because (all together here) the magazine people are always late.
more goyische?
like 100% more goyische. roman meal is some health food shit. in my family we favored pepperidge farm thin white, because it saved money (less bread per slice).
Will is a *divorce lawyer* but he STILL doesn't get enough breakup stories at work.
Bologna is at least better with mustard and iceberg lettuce -- so it doesn't stick to your teeth so much.
116: I was slow. My bologna year was 7th(!) grade. White bread with ketchup (for God's sake). I have no idea what my deal was.
Oh yuck, JP. Just yuck. Did you have a lot of zits, then?
Right, uh no, uh. I mean, sorry, JP. It's just that the bologna + ketchup combination really spoke of zits to me. NOT EVEN ANY ICEBERG LETTUCE?
I can see that some people didn't have braces. On their teeth.
123: I had a small collection, but was not unduly afflicted. I have no idea why that connection would come to your mind, however.
I have and still do eat the most incredible crap, but the thought of those sandwiches is disgusting even to me. I think everyone's disgust made me double down on them.
Remember the perfectly square ham in the plastic boxes? That is what I had for lunch.
What I had when I was a kid, not today.
I think everyone's disgust made me double down on them
The thought of a Double Down generally causes me to lose my appetite.
I remain disappointed by the Double Down. It's just like Chicken Cordon Bleu, but shitty. Who cares?
130: Ah right, that's the KFC meat-on-meat thingie isn't it?
Only if you eat there or don't wash your hands after being inside one.
133: I was inspired by a thread here to do so, yes.
Inside of a Double Down, it's too dark to wash.
Just wonderin' because of things upthread: is monogamy an unquestioned good hereabouts?
131: The nutritional information for some sample Chicken Cordon Bleu recipes is in fact quite similar to that for the Double Down. Unsurprisingly, in retrospect.
My brother worked at a KFC in the pre-Double-Down era. He used to do different voices on the Drive Thru intercom to entertain himself (and friends who came through). Good times.
138- only if that's what your partner thinks is happening.
KFC gives you zits.
I ate KFC a week and a half ago. I didn't get zits, but I did get a terrible cold. KFC gives you a cold!
Because if he did, I hope he picked a good code word.
143: Alas, I don't believe he had yet found his forthcoming love of the bong.
140: is this the inappropriate joke brother? Because that in conjunction with "funny" voices and KFC strike me as a volatile combination.
146: Ding, ding, ding. Yet never fired but rather promoted to assistant manager.
I keep thinking 138 was inspired by the same bologna sandwich every day stories above. Cereal monogamy, yes, we like that.
From the other side, my friends used to mess with people working at drive-thrus by sitting nearby with a radio that could broadcast on the frequency they were using. They would order things and then... nobody would be there! And the people working at the drive-thru (who had a closed circuit camera and could see perfectly well that there was nobody actually there) would... try and trick them into revealing themselves by suggesting they drive around to the window! Definitely sort of a high-end espionage kind of scenario.
My bologna has a first name, it's the holy bonds of matrimony. My bologna has a second name, it's the sacred covenant that binds us together.
138: I don't think it's necessarily good for everyone, but if you negotiate a relationship based on it, you should stick to it. you want another kind of relationship? just tell the person up front. if the person you want to be with would veto that, but you want to marry them anyway, but you also want to fuck other people, then you shouldn't go through with it unless you're: a) an asshole, b) looking to get caught sometime, because everybody does eventually, right will? and truly, if you don't get enough messy break-up stories at work??!1!!? also, if you're only interested in this because you're rooting for my marriage to fail, I will fuck your shit up.
also, jimmy, just committing the sin of adultery in your heart is ok, barring some open-heart surgery fetish I just called into being/don't want to know about. no, thanks about the link, apo, I'm cool.
149: As a dude who often dined on the free leftover KFC food (in my pre-vegetarian days), I can only support that sort of behavior. I mean, assuming they occasionally actually did make the fake order.
152: I have no idea if they did. There are definitely audio recordings of it still around, though. They went not entirely unlike this.
153: That for some reason reminds me that we had a lady that everyone called on the phone: Crazy Edna. She was old and I guess somehow someone found her number and discovered she'd just say all sorts of crazy things when you called. In hindsight, high schoolers are a bunch of assholes.
In hindsight, high schoolers are a bunch of assholes.
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27 years since I last saw X live, and Billy Zoom has the same smile. What a fucking charmer. Picks people out of the audience, makes eye contact with them.
I don't think I've seen a real live rock and roll show since the kids were born. You know, where you go to a club and there's a bar and a big open area and a stage an a PA, and men and women come out with electric guitars and drums and microphones and make lots and lots and lots of noise and someone is smoking pot somewhere and it smells sweet and familiar and the band plays all sorts of songs you know and everyone bobs their head.
I shoulda worn ear protection though.
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Yeah, I remember seeing live music. That was fun.
What a fucking charmer.
If by "charmer" you mean right-wing lunatic, then yes, yes he is. (Also, upon learning of his lunacy*, I must admit that I was VERY sad.)
(* Like, frealz crazy "the government is tracking me" shit.**)
(** Claymore mines in mom and dad's yard optional.)
wow, ari, you're making him sound way more charming!
I know I've told this story before, but I brought Exene flowers when X played on the West Side of Cleveland in 1983. Exene gave me a hug, DJ gave me his sticks, Billy gave me his pick, and John gave me a dirty look.
Which is to say, if you want charming, look no further than Von Wafer!