Re: Something happened

1

I am reminded of the youthful works of the Earl of Sandwich:

1741: Living in the country on a small inheritance, he works day and night, often skimping on meals to save money for food. His first completed work -- a slice of bread, a slice of bread on top of that, and a slice of turkey on top of both -- fails miserably. Bitterly disappointed, he returns to his studio and begins again.

1745: After four years of frenzied labor, he is convinced he is on the threshold of success. He exhibits before his peers two slices of turkey with a slice of bread in the middle. His work is rejected by all but David Hume, who senses the imminence of something great and encourages him. Heartened by the philosopher's friendship, he returns to work with renewed vigor.

1747: Destitute, he can no longer afford to work in roast beef or turkey and switches to ham, which is cheaper.

1750: In the spring, he exhibits and demonstrates three consecutive slices of ham stacked on one another; this arouses some interest, mostly in intellectual circles, but the general public remains unmoved. Three slices of bread on top of one another add to his reputation, and while a mature style is not yet evident, he is sent for by Voltaire.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:08 PM
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2

I like the part of the story where nosflow knows what a condom looks like. Oh, man. Good one!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:31 PM
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3

2: pshh yeah not likely with baby mamas in fourteen different states.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:41 PM
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4

Well, rfts was there to clarify things.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:41 PM
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5

3: The creepy part is there are only two baby mamas.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:46 PM
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5: "baby let me show you this superposition that'll make you wild"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:48 PM
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7

Is this one of those stories where the only point is to brag that he was with rfts?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 12:56 PM
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3: The creepy part is there are only two baby mamas.

You think that's worse than the continuous digestive tract?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:13 PM
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9

I think a continuous digestive tract is basically an immaculate good,* unless you're really keen on sepsis or something like that.

*in that its goodness isn't spotted or spoiled, not in that the tract is immaculate


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:22 PM
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As, yesterday afternoon, I and rfts were walking from campus to a nearby café

I see that I missed a major piece of news. Two, if there's some sort of hookup implicit in this scenario.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:33 PM
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11

Given rfts's marital status, I expect that any hookup involving her and another man would not be discussed or implied on the front page of this website.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:36 PM
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12

Although it's true that nosflow is not known for his discretion.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:37 PM
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13

Don't you see? It's the perfect coverup.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:39 PM
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14

No husband suspects the GRAMMARIAN.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:40 PM
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15

Perhaps I have underestimated the man.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:40 PM
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16

Anyway, I thought my location, both what it is and its nearness to rfts/snarkout, were generally known, but perhaps I was wrong; anyway, no violation of the sanctity of off-blog communications happened here, because I was cleared beforehand. (Certainly I could have simply said that I was walking from campus, etc., in the first sentence, but the prospect of doing so felt weird, like I was trying to conceal something. But in fact there's NOTHING TO CONCEAL. Honest.)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:41 PM
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17

No husband suspects the GRAMMARIAN.

Perfect! I owe my 7 year-old nephew some drawings of original evil supervillains and was having a hard time coming up with evil superpowers.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:53 PM
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18

11, 12: Nosflow, rfts, and I have all decided to seek the Republican nomination for president. Bring your A game, Newt!


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:53 PM
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19

18: Individually, or as a group?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:55 PM
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20

Surely the condom would have been run over by bicycles, if it was lying there?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:55 PM
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21

Surely the condom would have been run over by bicycles, if it was lying there?

Saltwater economics has its own rich store of aphorisms.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:57 PM
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22

19: Yes.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:58 PM
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23

It wasn't lying there, essear, but a short ways off.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:58 PM
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18: With Santorum as the runny mate?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 1:58 PM
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25

17 confuses me. What precisely is the evil superpower here? Correct use of "whom" and "lie"?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:00 PM
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26

There is territory in or near IV that is "a short ways off" from bicycles rather than "anything here, including pedestrians, will be flattened by bicycles"?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:05 PM
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27

Yes, precisely. I could show you if you were here.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:07 PM
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28

21 made me laugh.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:17 PM
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29

if you were here

Oh, to be somewhere where "winter" means "a week or so of rain."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:21 PM
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30

What precisely is the evil superpower here?

Terrorism.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:45 PM
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31

That's not a power.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 2:46 PM
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17: Perfect! I owe my 7 year-old nephew some drawings of original evil supervillains

Make sure THE GRAMMARIAN has a nice red uniform.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 3:22 PM
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One can only speculate at what precisely went wrong there.

Thanks, we haven't had a Friday Puzzler for a long time.

The narrator left out the part where he picked up the wrapper, removed the condom, dropped it on the ground, and carried off the wrapper.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 3:30 PM
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34

We need the female version of what is going on. I don't trust the narrator.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 5:14 PM
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35

Cripe. It's like you people never see condoms lying on the ground.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:32 PM
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36

At first I was annoyed that the post title got Phil Collins' voice singing "But something happened on the way to heaven..." stuck mercilessly on repeat in my head for the better part of the day. But then I thought more about the post, realized the effect was intentional, and am now in awe. Bravo.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:41 PM
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37

||

It's finally snowing here.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:42 PM
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38

37: condoms?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:47 PM
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39

Yep. Have you heard of it raining men? Well, it's just like that, but we call it snowing MANDOM.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:48 PM
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40

Wow. Yours sounds like the grossest town.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:49 PM
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41

Harlotsville.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:52 PM
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42

That's a spunky name.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 7:55 PM
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43

36: I don't know that song.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:05 PM
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44

Bullshit.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:17 PM
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45

Ok, maybe I do. What's its name?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:23 PM
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46

How many times can I say I'm sorry? (How many times?)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:32 PM
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47

Yeah, I don't know that song.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:36 PM
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48

The title of the post made me think of the Joseph Heller novel about Bob Slocum.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:38 PM
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49

Essear gets a prize!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:41 PM
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50

Also, 42 to 48.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 8:43 PM
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51

I owe my 7 year-old nephew some drawings of original evil super villains.

Zoot de Suite et les Danseuses Macabres
The Foodie
Belle Bottom & The Narrow Lapel
The Slate Podcaster
The Downgrader
Braumeister Death
Nick Needle, The Natty Narrow Narc
Evil Goatee-Wearing Parallel Universe Pikachu
Charlie Sheen


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 9:43 PM
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52

I think I saw Belle Bottom & the Narrow Lapels at Hardly Strictly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 9:46 PM
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53

No one cares about your artisanal hipster burlesque locavore encounter group, neb.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 9:56 PM
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54

The Contrarian
The League of Extraordinarily Serious Gentlemen


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 9:57 PM
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55

The CNN Contributor


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:01 PM
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56

The Generic Talking Head.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:11 PM
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57

The Newt.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:16 PM
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58

The Newtity.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:22 PM
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59

This show is rated PG-13 for brief Newtity.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:26 PM
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60

The Newtrino, the Newtster, his Newtitude.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:26 PM
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61

The Newtral Zone


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:27 PM
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62

Newtria.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:31 PM
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63

I'm not sure I understand the rules.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:31 PM
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64

The Newtant. The Newtritionist.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:38 PM
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65

The Newtron Dance.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:41 PM
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66

44000 people signed up for the online machine learning course that was mentioned here at some point? I bet they weren't counting on that....


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:45 PM
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67

Newtria.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:46 PM
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68

The neither of both.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:47 PM
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69

So did you read 62 at all, Moby?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:48 PM
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70

I was saving it for later.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:50 PM
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71

Don't tell me how it ends.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:51 PM
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72

El Gingrichón.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 10:57 PM
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73

48: made me think of the Joseph Heller novel

Ditto. "I get the willies."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-20-12 11:55 PM
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74

Newtrier.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-21-12 12:00 AM
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75

44000 people signed up for the online machine learning course that was mentioned here at some point?

I bet at least 32768 of them are bots that can't parse right.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 01-21-12 12:01 AM
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66: I think I signed up for that and then proceeded to ignore it completely. Anecdata?


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 01-21-12 8:46 AM
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77

How did I miss this outpouring of genius? I might roll CNN Contributor/Contrarian/Very Serious Person/Generic Talking Head into one character: The Pundit.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-22-12 10:10 AM
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74: Ha. CA was just arguing with his mother on the phone about Newt, saying, "No. No. You do not have any insight into the evangelical vote in SC based on other people you know in Wilmette and Winnetka."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-22-12 10:28 AM
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16: Well, I have been out of the loop. Mostly it just struck me funny, since last I knew you were ~2000 miles apart, and yet here you are, casually walking together.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-23-12 1:24 PM
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