pending confirmation of television reception
A Super Bowl party hosted by someone who doesn't even own a television? That would be fantastically swipple.
Just watch it on a computer feed. Not vulgar, not elitist, just right.
A pregame review of the rules of American football
The 2011 NFL rulebook is 244 pages long. Wear something comfortable.
How real American of you, David Brooks and Charles Murray would be proud.
Meanwhile as discussed here some time ago, here in Pittsburgh a few of us might be having a meetup this afternoon organized around this event: "Cooperation and Human Cognition", Michael Tomasello, Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology. The possibility does exist that I might be attending only because it's a free place to be that isn't my work or my house.
My current SB plan is to go to a hardcore New England fan party, where one of my vanishingly few connections who could be a good client will be present, so I will have to be on good behavior. It will be hell!
Think how impressed the potential client will be if you can convert everyone away from the Patriots. Argue away!
6: Or by winning an informal debate with the following position: Resolved, "NFL refs go out of their way to favor Tom Brady and the Patriots".
1: I hadn't considered the ambiguity in "reception"--no, there's definitely a TV; what's lacking is an antenna, and the hills mean that even an antenna may not guarantee a good picture.
3: Jesus Christ. Maybe we can have someone do a summary.
4: Why must you upstage me like that?
For those who're unaware, the Super Bowl--or, as a certain little bitch put it to me, the "stupid bowl"--is a week from Sunday, so there's plenty of time to sort out little details like how to get the picture on the screen. This thread is basically to gauge--and perhaps create--interest.
4: I am also going to see that talk, in a different city, on a different date. So it'll be kind of like I'm meeting up with you all! Except not at all!
9: Thanks for the heads-up about the date. I'm sure I'll be watching it somewhere, though not with you. Oh, I hope we don't have to be social! Or maybe Lee can go out and Mara and I can go to the library or something.
I actually think it sounds like a great meetup! Enjoy!
Call me tentative for a trip down to the East Bay. If y'all want to trek up to Santa Rosa, I have a 46" HDTV, a DVR for bathroom breaks, and cable.
a DVR for bathroom breaks
Urinating on consumer electronics equipment is deprecated.
Qu'est-ce que c'est, "football"? Where are my cigarettes? Is your husband out of town?
Early in my grad school career I managed to seriously impress an attractive German exchange student by explaining the rules of American football. (We were at a backyard barbecue where some people were throwing a football around.) In retrospect it's obvious that she was into me and the vague reasons I had for not pursuing that seem very weak.
I like the juxtaposition of 14 and 15.
the vague reasons I had for not pursuing that
"Any adult woman that has to have the Tuck Rule explained to her doesn't deserve the teophallus."
4: I started reading that book over x-mas, thanks to you guys. It's really quite impressive.
In retrospect it's obvious that she was into me
Ya think?
I've done the eyelash-batting "explain to me how exactly cricket works" thing to cute Brits and Commonwealth boys for ages. It's a good tactic: as the rules make no sense whatsoever, you can remain ignorant no matter how many times you deploy the trick, and the vocabulary of the game lends itself to dirty jokes.
Wait a second here, what time is the "Super Bowl"? I have to be on a bus sometime on Sunday afternoon from Boston to New York and I bet traffic is great during a universally beloved sporting event. Chinese has only one word that means both "football game" and "opportunity"!
And "snow." It means all 31 kinds of snow.
However, it has several words which individually mean either "football game" or "opportunity" but not both at once.
Ya think?
Well, I did suspect it at the time.
I managed to seriously impress an attractive German exchange student by explaining the rules of American football.
"Could you explain American football to me?" is the attractive German way of saying "wanna fuck?"
She was probably into a friend of yours. Don't worry about it.
22: Category error. Cricket doesn't work, or the British upper classes would have had nothing to do with it. Something C.L.R. James something.
I'm quite certain she was not particularly interested in football.
I explained baseball to a pretty lady once. We left after the fourth inning.
Anyway, this is all water well under the bridge at this point. Just another item on my long list of regrets.
I said vague reasons.
Helga: "So why don't zey play Prevent Defense all game?"
Teofilo: [blink] "I'm going to stand a few feet away now."
Just another item on my long list of regrets.
You know teo, a few poetic regrets, if adroitly placed, are as becoming on a planner as gossamer hair in the moonlight.
You know teo, a few poetic regrets, if adroitly placed, are as becoming on a planner as gossamer hair in the moonlight.
That's what I'm hoping, certainly.
I'm also hoping to improve my italicizing.
22.
a. Bat and ball game, runs in a straight line instead of a circle, two batters in, one at each end.
b. Wicket is horizontal sticks balanced on vertical ones. batter can be out if bowler (pitcher) hits these with ball, or fielder hits them while he's too far away from them.
c. Bowler constrained to keep arm straight but can add pace by sprinting. Half a dozen pitches (balls) at a time from each end - called overs.
d. Batter not constrained to run, can face as many balls as they're able. Can score to any point in the field.
e. Fielders can stand wherever the fuck the captain wants.
f. Game lasts agreed number of overs or hours or until somebody wins.
Wanna fuck?
28. The British upper classes thought it worked. It was a major gambling game in the 18th century. The rules were invented to facilitate this.
36.2: Gambling isn't work, which is why gentlemen do it and the working classes aspire to it.
Wanna fuck?
Sorry, trying to make sense of a. through f. gave me a headache.
No problem. Baseball strikes me as a daft game too.
That's an entirely accurate perception.
4,8: my understanding of the proposal was that the game would be on, or near, the party, but there might also be lecturing on cooperation and human cognition. There's probably time to get an official imprimatur and call it the Max Planck Institute for Watching the Super Bowl, and then everyone could easily score with German girls, who can't resist institutes. The DAAD will kick in for snacks.
But tell me more about this "Super Bowl Sunday" and "traffic" thing.
Baseball and cricket are the last pastoral experiences with respect to which white people may respectably express nostalgia, longing and anti-modernity in groups.
22: Surely there must be less boring ways to get pretty boys to talk to you.
There's really not much that's up there as an ice breaker with "Explain this to me, pretty please?" (A slight variant is referred to in the Breath household as "Cockroach farming is so interesting!" with a head cock and batted eyelashes, for historical reasons buried in Buck's past.)
42. Cricket is an Indian game accidentally discovered by the British.
"Could you explain American football to me?" is the attractive German way of saying "wanna fuck?"
I think she was expecting you to say, "Ach, Amerikanischer Football ist bestens horizontal gelernt," and then tackle her.
Baseball and cricket are the last pastoral experiences with respect to which white people may respectably express nostalgia, longing and anti-modernity in groups.
Organic farming?
45: Isn't Pakistan the power cricket country to beat these days? I feel like I read that in the Economist or something British lately.
Oddly enough England is rated as the top side in the world at the moment, for the first time since WWII, but they're playing Pakistan currently and getting more than a run for their money, so that may not last.
47: I'm inclined to distinguish organic farming on the grounds that the associated consumption is, as consumption tends to be, individual, but I could be persuaded.
Batter not constrained to run, can face as many balls as they're able.
Wait, why would you run, then? Do you get points if you do? Is there a downside to running besides, well, running? When do you stop receiving pitches?
I can keep this up all night. IYKWIMAITYD
If you can keep it up all night, perhaps you never stop receiving pitches.
[Take the high road, he muttered to himself. Don't mention nosflow's mom. You're better than that. Hold yourself to a higher standard. Red Skelton didn't have to work blue for laughs, did he?]
. . . by explaining the rules of American football.
I am able to imagine this more easily knowing that you played football at some point (the summer before HS IIRC). Otherwise I would have imagined that you would be as uninterested in football as you are in many aspects of popular culture.
I can keep this up all night.
But everything starts to lean slightly to the right.
36: two batters in you say. Oh, those dirty, dirty Brits.
I plan to attend either way, but I admit some interest in Chopper's better-appointed and presumably more spacious digs. I and probably others would need a ride, though.
I am able to imagine this more easily knowing that you played football at some point (the summer before HS IIRC).
Good memory! This probably helped, but I suspect most American guys could explain the rules at the level needed for this purpose. I could easily have done the same with baseball or basketball.
I think she was expecting you to say, "Ach, Amerikanischer Football ist bestens horizontal gelernt," and then tackle her.
Quite possibly, and this might have been a better course of action to take.
But tell me more about this "Super Bowl Sunday" and "traffic" thing.
I have no idea what traffic would be like before and after the game, though it would probably be rather light during. The undisclosed location is said to be close to BART & buses, also.
I'm with Minivet in being open to Chopper's place in Santa Rosa, but I too would need a ride in that case. Mineshaft road trip!
I suspect that traffic between New York and Boston will be minimal indeed on super bowl sunday, to Smearcase's presumed great benefit.
I took 41 to be asking instead about how easy it would be to get to the hypothetical meetup. But yes, no doubt you're right.
Oh, hey, Sifu, I was going to email you: do you have any idea why this script here, for downloading Tatort episodes, is giving me a "missing or invalid parameter" error when I try to run it in the terminal of my Mac? I've downloaded through Macports rtmpdump and curl, so that shouldn't be the problem; I wonder if ZDF changed their syntax in some way that the script hasn't yet been updated to reflect. I need to learn regular expressions, sigh.
How do German girls feel about centers, rather than institutes?
Just remember, Zentrum with a Z. If you've got that down, you're golden.
Math teaches you the first letters of many German words: Z(entrum), Z(ahlen), k(oerper), f(uhrer)... Though its confusing cause the latter two are translated "field" and "conductor."
64: Looking at the source, it appears it would generate that error if you didn't give it an argument including "http://".
Math teaches you the first letters of many German words: Z(entrum)
You would think after spending too much time in centers, I would be tired of commuting.
And that's only the second worst joke I've made today!
64: Looking at the source, it appears it would generate that error if you didn't give it an argument including "http://".
Jesus, you guys don't think very much of my intelligence, do you? I gave it precisely the format expected:
sh tatort-dl.sh "http://www.ardmediathek.de/ard/servlet/content/3517136?documentId=9328004"
and it still complained:
-e Error: missing or invalid parameters
Usage:
tatort-dl.sh [out-file]
The deafult out-file name is ./format.f4v
Example:
tatort-dl.sh "http://www.ardmediathek.de/ard/servlet/content/3517136?documentId=3701294"
Anyway, this is pretty boring/narrow-interest even for a comment in the Mineshaft; if anyone wants to discuss DLing Tatort, feel free to email me.
Doh...
Try:
./tatort-dl.sh "http://www.ardmediathek.de/ard/servlet/content/3517136?documentId=9328004"
In other words, it expects the argument containing "http" to be the second thing on the line, and by putting "sh" in front you've confused it.
During said sporting event I will be on a plane from Boston to San Diego. I don't know much about great circles but maybe I'll be flying over Indianapolis. Also, JetBlue, so I think I can watch the game unless there's some bullshit licensing agreement with DirecTV.
I think I'm going to be in Newark Airport during most of the game.
How do German girls feel about centers, rather than institutes?
You would think after spending too much time in centers, I would be tired of commuting.
Said the lovely young fräulein "I hope,
You and I might tomorrow elope,
and commute to your center:
the place where we meanta
Perform an Abelian grope."
No, please, don't thank me.
Wow, I really am dumb. That worked, thanks.
79: The beauty of it is that it could have arisen pretty much anytime, within certain subcultures, over the last 150 or so years. Sounds like an Abelian grope is mighty depressing, however:
While in Paris, Abel had contracted tuberculosis. For Christmas 1828, he traveled by sled to Froland to visit again his fiancée. He became seriously ill on the journey and, although a temporary improvement allowed the couple to enjoy the holiday together, died just two days before a letter arrived from August Crelle. All this time, Crelle had been searching for a new job for Abel in Berlin, and had actually managed to have him appointed a professor at a university. Crelle wrote to Abel on 8 April 1829 to tell him the good news, but it came too late.
That deserves an opera, not a limerick, you heartless bastards.
81, 82: You've been a wunnerful audience. I'll be here all week.
(Did not know that about Abel. Damn, that's sad.)
41: SEXIST!
While in Paris, Abel had contracted tuberculosis
So the Seine slew Abel?
I once explained American football to a bunch of European grad students. I also demonstrated punting in wedges and a dress.
They were very attentive.
I only dated a football player.
84: Oh, so "German" is a sex now? I suppose they have a stupid German word for it.
But I would welcome the opportunity to avoid pissing you off, however I can... I may not even be able to make it to this thing for more or less gendered reasons, so maybe there's a solution for everyone?
I only dated a football player.
I'm not figuring out what function 'only' is serving here.
87.1
Volkstumischegeschlechtsart.
88: As opposed to playing myself.
Late to the party... Unfortunately I already have plans for the Super Bowl, but I firmly support the notion of a Bay Area meetup. One way or another, let's make this happen sooner rather than later.
\textbf{---->I<----} am planning to be in the bay area between the end of the current and the beginning of the next quarter. Just sayin'. End of march.
the phrase "german girls" is widely regarded as gendered, yes. you can now make a rather strained argument to the effect that you assumed only straight men and queer women would be interested in football, but since that would still be sexist, it looks like you're pretty much screwed.
||
In Subculture Heaven...
...the lovers are hippies
...the engineers are skinheads
...the police are emo kids
...the cooks are goths
and the punks run the place
In Subculture Hell...
...the lovers are skinheads
...the engineers are hippies
...the police are skinheads
...the cooks are skinheads
and the skinheads run the place
||>
I don't understand the operative stereotypes here at all.
you can now make a rather strained argument to the effect that you assumed only straight men and queer women would be interested in football, but since that would still be sexist, it looks like you're pretty much screwed.
She seems to have been intending to attend herself, so I doubt she was going to make this particular type of strained argument.
ah, ok. I apologize and make no excuses. You can absolutely call me sexist: of course it's true. Sorry to you and to anyone else who may have been offended. I'll sign this one with an email address, because while straightforward apologies seem inadequate, additional comment here would likely dig a deeper hole.
OK, cool. I'm un-mad. also, 94 is funny.
94 doesn't make a lot of sense to me; why do we want skinhead engineers? I'm seeing successful IEDs here. Bummer.
Also, our Megan is kind of a hippy engineer, parties and nakedness and all.
I don't plan on watching the game, but I would watch at a Bay Area meetup.
quis spectabit ipsos spectatores? I mean, absent fake accent's attendance? I think fake accentself is obliged.
99 they had to get the skinheads in somewhere in the first set. maybe they should have gone with "war reënactors."
X, I would totally come to your Super Bowl party if I still lived out in that part of the world. Go Pats!
I made the recipe for buffalo wings from this month's Bon Appetit for our AFC championship viewing. It worked quite well. The wings were wicked hot.
Regarding traffic, I found myself driving between the Johannesburg airport and downtown Joburg during the opening match of the World Cup between South Africa and Mexico. You might have concluded that the apocalypse had come and claimed the entire population. Not a single car to be seen on a normally jam-packed motorway.
Kobe: I don't plan on watching the game, but I would watch at a Bay Area meetup.
I don't always watch football, but when I do, I prefer a Bay Area meetup.
I was going to do totally different occupations, but I was lazy and just used the standard European joke ones. I'm going to work on a better version at some point.
The worst thing about watching the NFL in Canada is that broadcast rules mandate that when a show is on at the same time in both Canada and the US, you get Canadian ads, even if you're watching the US network affiliate (the show will be on on a US channel and a Canadian channel and the actual non-commercial part of the broadcast will be the same). I'm not a huge fan of Superbowl ads but I've very, very anti-Canadian ads. I'm guessing that the smaller market makes for less variety, plus so many ads are irritatingly cut promos for CTV shows (many of which are American). They also cut in with "updates" from the Canadian sports networks' anchors, many of whom have extremely punch-worthy faces and grating voices. So add that to a Superbowl where I guess I'd like to see the Giants win and have no interest in the Patriots and I'm going to do something else.
And speaking of football, this playoff season I've been seized with the idea that my band name should be Big Third Down.
extremely punch-worthy faces
So, very deserving of the champagne punch described in the other thread, I assume?
Perhaps, but maybe not in a way they'd be expecting.
I've very, very anti-Canadian ads.
Could they really be worse than the American ones? I know the Super Bowl ads are supposed to be a Cultural Event or something, but the last time I watched--the last Giants/Patriots matchup, as it happened--I was astonished at how awful they were. They were just soaked in misogyny, to such an aggressive and unfunny extent that I felt embarrassed to be watching, both for myself, fellow audience members, and everyone involved in the production of the ads.
... anyway, those who are interested in The Great Bay Area Unfoggeduperbowl Party of 2012 should email me, so that we can coordinate locations and times and all of that stuff.
It's probably just me, and I don't think I can really explain it, but Canadian ads are grating in a way that American ads aren't. There are many ways American ads are horrible, and I'm probably just inured to them, but they seem smoother in a way that makes them more tolerable on a visceral "will I mute this" way. I do think the repetitiveness is a lot of it. And I'm talking about regular ads here, not just Superbowl ones.
Canadian culture is just vaguely grating. I defy any American with deep experience up north to deny it. (I'm sure the same is true in reverse, but still).
Canadian culture is just vaguely grating.
The only thing I find truly grating is the overly explaning thing, as if all the Americans they've ever talked to were completely unaware of the world outside of the lower 48.
"Oh, see, here in Canada, we use postal codes which have both letters and numbers in them. Also, we say 'zed' for 'Z' because sex with bears."
114: I suspect that most Americans the average Canadian talks to are in fact sufficiently unaware of the world outside the US not to know either of those things about Canada.
Explaining that a large portion of Americans are kind of dumb, but I've half a brain about me is the lovely part about traveling the world as an American.
Also: traveling with a Canadian-flag patch on your backpack, so everyone assumes you're from Canada, obscuring your true American origins. It's practically a stereotype at this point.
Most Americans know about the sex with bears part. Not much more than that.
Well, once you know that the rest doesn't really seem to matter.
The ritual of learning that fact is known among Albertans as the Medicine Hat, and it's fashioned from the shell of a tar-sand turtle. The hat is injected with morphine, left to soak overnight, and worn from thence forward, in the manner befitting an onion on a belt.
108: I think "fourth and long" would be better. also, I apologize for being snippy above, my brain isn't working properly at the moment.
I can't imagine anything more annoying than American Super Bowl ads. The ones I will always remember are the man shooting at a padlock with a rifle and the ones with a pickup crushing other pickups.