Easy. He wants shit with him, he can carry it.
Oh, he does. He indulges me to no end. But then there are things like: should we take a lot of shit into daycare everyday? One of us drops off, the other picks up. Etc.
1: Sometimes, somebody will want to bring more stuff than he or she is physically capable of carrying while moving at a plausible pace. Then, sometimes somebody else gets very short tempered about having to carry pointless stuff in order to keep moving, especially when this involves carrying a reusable water bottle past 800 drinking fountains.
I am definitely on the Jammies end of the spectrum, which is hard since just for myself I always want to have my keys/wallet/phone plus preferably a book or two, the iPad, a knitting project, and maybe my camera. Then there's kid stuff on top of that and it just gets ridiculous. I recognize that, but still, I want my stuff!
I also hate carrying stuff, but like to go on long excursions on foot or via public transportation with a nine- and seven-year-old. Fortunately, a backpack doesn't bother me the way that, say, a big bag would.
You can't carry a nine- and seven-year-old in the same backback, can you?
My wife likes to carry expensive handbags, except when we have to travel any distance [day trips, I mean]. Where she claims she doesn't need anything; and then proceeds to wheedle and whine until all the stuff she doesn't need is in the bag I'm carrying.
'Can you just put my hat in your bag? And these gloves? And this scarf? Oh and a cardigan in case I'm cold? And I need my phone in case work calls?'
If it's just me, I'll usually have phone, keys, paperback book or newspaper, a pen, and a camera. All of which will fit in a small knapsack type thing, unless I'm carrying a laptop.
In other words, you and your wife both carry a great deal of stuff, but you're not as far into denial about it.
7: What you need is a decoy bag identical to yours, with none of your stuff in it. Your actual bag is already packed, and concealed in a secret location.
You obligingly put all her stuff in "your" bag as requested. Then when you're headed out the door, you hand her the bag full of her things, and say, "wait, let me get my bag."
re: 8
Well, she's in denial about it, but she doesn't carry a lot of stuff if she's not on her own. I carry a lot of stuff, on her behalf.
I am fine in the winter because I can put one or two small items in each pocket without developing any unsightly bulges.
However, in the summer I have to resort to extraordinary measures such as a belt buckle wallet. At least I got some custom designs engraved on mine.
ttaM and his wife have the opposite relationship of my husband and I. I carry a great deal of things with me, while he brings far less. That is, unless we're going together, and then everything ends up in my purse.
I hate carrying a bag, but at the same time I carry around a lot of stuff (for a bloke). Keys, wallet, phone, cigarettes, iPod, large headphones and Kindle is my standard equipment, and may be supplemented with other tech/reading material. This is one of the reasons I prefer winter to summer, as I can wear a coat and have more pockets.
Lee does the ttaM's wife thing, except without a cute purse. That's a small mercy, at least.
When I was in middle school, my sister and friends of hers had a "prepared purse contest" and I think the idea of this warped something in my mind because now I always traipse around with a bag that has a million things I don't need in it, like several books and then the New Yorker, though it's been ages since I read anything but the New Yorker, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW IF I'LL REALLY BE IN THE MOOD FOR SOME DAMN BOOK. It's fucked up my posture for sure.
TBH, I don't mind carrying a bag, and the usual bag I carry isn't large. It's only the carrying-other-persons-shit part I resent.
Every now and then, put one of the books on top of your head to practice keeping your posture.
Also re: handbags. My wife gets an allowance for them, from her work, so she has quite a few. Turns out ladies handbags are bloody heavy. All that leather and metal [fnarr].
17: The worst part is that when they've brought something that turned out to have been necessary or helpful, you never hear the end of it.
I hate wearing a bag over my shoulder because it definitely seems to be bad for the back. My fiancee thinks wearing a backpack makes one look like an unprofessional teenager, so I keep getting badgeted to move my stuff "back" from the backpack to the messenger bag.
This thread suggests maybe I could engender less resistance if I call the backpack a "knapsack".
The people who carry a kindle, ipod, camera, and phone are aware that there's a single small device that accomplishes all of those functions moderately well, right? I just would hate to for you to be hauling all that stuff because you didn't know that.
re: 22
You could call it a 'manbag' for added metrosexual cred. I get derided by at least one mate for sometimes carrying a leather bag which they've decided looks girlie.
Anyhow, I'm bimodal, in that I never carry a bag (and just brings keys, wallet, phone) unless I'm riding my back, in which case I carry a fairly large bag that has all kinds of crap (bike lock, bike pump, bike tools, pad, pens and pencils, headphones, often fruit, often an ipad, I think for the last several months cufflinks for some reason) in it that I don't keep good track of.
re: 23
The device that does all those things, I have [and I use it for most of those things]. It doesn't do the photo bit remotely as well as the cameras I have, though.
14 informs me that I have for years made an incorrect assumption of Ginger Yellow's gender. (Shut up, language pedants. I'm talking like a normal person.)
25: unless I'm riding my back
bike lock, bike pump, bike tools, pad, pens and pencils, headphones, often fruit, often an ipad, I think for the last several months cufflinks for some reason
Kinky and imaginative for the win! And bimodal to boot!
Further to 23, people often say this stuff to me re: cameras. [Not getting at you, I mean, in general]
'Why do you bother with that? A camera-phone is just as good.'
To which the answer is:
'No it fucking isn't.'
29: If I'm taking the picture, the difference isn't that big. Except for the zoomy-thing.
re: 29
Perfectly fine for lots of people, in lots of circumstances. And I use mine happily, sometimes. Not for me in all circumstances, though. Which is fair enough, horses for courses and all that. But when people tell me their phone is just as good, they are wrong.
26: right, there are certainly other reasons to carry the enumerated devices separately. Like I say, the all-in-one doohickey only accomplishes the various functions (including "phone") moderately well.
Flash control, shutter speed control is a very big deal, especially in low light. Also image resolution-- even without a good zoom, you can photograph to crop later.
As of the most recent iteration of all-in-one-doohickey carrying my point-and-shoot is basically pointless, but it's a moderately crappy point-and-shoot.
The people who carry a kindle, ipod, camera, and phone are aware that there's a single small device that accomplishes all of those functions moderately well, right?
Yes, I am. Well, I don't carry a camera, but I do deliberately choose to carry separate devices that do different things very well, rather than one device that does them all moderately well. This also means that I don't drain my phone's battery while playing games or watching videos.
It didn't take me ten minutes to get 37. That's ridiculous. I got it instantly, laughed, and decided I didn't need to respond. Like it would take me 10 minutes to get a silly pun like that. My mind works in a flash. It is not flashless.
re: 34
Yeah. The phone I used to have before I got an iPhone had, by phone standards and for the time, an excellent camera so there would have been little incentive to carry a moderately crappy point and shoot. But the cameras I'm carrying are quite a way above moderately crappy point and shoot level.
Plus I like cameras, so if I'm carrying something old or unusual it's because it's fun.
32: I don't want to buy more doohickeys and I like having a dumb phone that only does dumb things.
32: I do buy stuff for new knitting projects way too often, though. It's not that I'm not spending money or anything like that.
I carry way too much - I apparently also absorbed that 'purse readiness' lesson at some point in my youth. Wallet, of course; small bag with various medicines, tissues, pen knife, mirror for contact lens emergencies, lotion, etc; notebook and pen; phone; a book; lately gloves and a hat and a scarf; occasionally snacks; sunglasses; headphones & ipod; umbrella; a bottle of water .....
12: Yes, they're the same people that make the "Storus" brand on Skymall.
Now I kind of want these:
http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/titanium-multi-tool-collar-stays
I'd bet that they're also better collar stays than the plastic inserts I use now.
These stays even feature a hole to keep safely on your key chain
Uh, why? Surely the point of a multi-tool collar stay is to carry it in your collar.
44: Yes, that seemed like an unnecessary feature.
Though I suppose that allows you to bring them with you even when you're not wearing a shirt that allows collar stays, and thus avoid owning a multitool.
I hate carrying stuff about with me and try to only use pockets or a small as possible bag. As soon as the kids were big enough to wear a little backpack I made them carry their own things. It annoys me when we are out for the day and C has a heavy camera bag so *obviously* can't carry anything else so I end up with all the bits and bobs for the day. Why can't he be like ttaM and carry things anyway?
re: 46
To be fair, once my wife's attempt to make me a packhorse goes beyond a certain point, I make her take turns with the bag. Or attempt to.
My camera bag isn't that heavy, so I submit that C is using the wrong cameras.*
* I bet they don't even use film!
I always have a large bag, but it rarely has anything useful in it; 'purse readiness' is a skill I have failed to acquire. But it does have my knitting, which is something, and usually at least a clean handkerchief on top of the wallet/keys/phone obviousness.
No, all the cameras he uses are empty. I don't actually know if it's heavy, it's not that big. Nor is mine, I'm just whinging.
OT: Is everyone busting out their best moves for one last Soul Train Dance Line? You will have time now that you have to stop masturbating to Don Cornelius.
The whinging a given. To be honest, my wife's stuff isn't that heavy either. It just often necessitates swapping my small bag for a small rucksack.
Pulling out your collar stay and opening a beer with it certainly sounds multitoolish to me.
It'd be much worse opening a beer with it while it was still in your collar: not only would it look weird, you'd probably damage the shirt.
I bought a gym bag to take with me so that I wouldn't have to put my gym clothes in my regular messenger bag. But now I have started sticking all my work stuff in the gym bag. Best laid plans of mice and men, what, what?
Best laid plans of mice and men, what, what?
In the butt?
Best laid plans of mice in men?
My little bag is next to me. It has 2 pairs of arm warmers, a pair of gloves, pack of tissues, eye drops, anti histamines, dice, my purse which is pretty big as it contains about a million cards (and is basically the reason why I now need a bag, rather than shoving a wallet in a pocket), Leatherman, stamp wallet. Add keys and phone, and book and anything else I specifically need when I go out.
57: dice
In case a game of craps breaks out?
I'm at work for the first time in basically a month, so have rucksack with me. It has: phone, usb cable for phone, 2 x keys, headphones, notepad and pens, gloves, hat, and a camera (a poncey/lovely 1950s film one). And loads of painkillers.
That gerbil was like that when I got here!
I always think about refining my EDC, or whatever. Basically I've got my wallet, phone, bandanna, and keychain, including nail clippers, handcuff key and regular keys. That set up solves about 99% of daily problems. I try to use an organizer, but I always mislay it, so it's kinda pointless. I'd really like to find a thumbdrive that will stay on my keychain without breaking or messing up the normal operation of the keychain (i.e. the ability of the keys to circumnavigate the split ring.)
52: The point is not to look cool. The point is that it beats (a) standing around wondering where you're going to get a bottle opener from, (2) damaging the furniture to open your beer, or (3) carrying a bulky single-purpose churchkey.
If someone else has the appropriate tool, you say nothing and let people admire your very straight collar.
If no one else has the appropriate tool, no one will think you're silly for being prepared.
52: Or in case that wasn't a pun, what I meant is that you don't have to carry something bulky like a leatherman or swiss army knife.
I go back and forth on carrying a multitool and/or Swiss Army knife (Victorinox, of course, I wouldn't be caught dead with that cheap Wenger shit). Since I found out that the knife laws here are cool with anything under 4 inches (LHF alert!), I'm much more sanguine about the actual carrying, it's just that I don't really need that much toolage in my daily life. I have a Night-Ize Pock-Its too, one of the bigger models, but it hangs off the belt funny, and I really don't need a mini Mag-Lite very often, esp. now that my cell phone has an LED flashlight built into it.
Beer opening device=lighter. Also a good improvised self-defense option.
59: Oh right. I hope that you continue to improve, ttaM!
(Incidentally, and vastly off topic, I was sort of amazed recently reading the speech given by the priest at CA's grandmother's funeral service. This was in Norfolk, where she lived when she died, but there was lots of "She was Scottish!" "She also married another Scot!" "She never lost her Scottish accent!" So, so bizarre. I guess he thought she ought to have run south immediately after birth or something.)
What are arm warmers? I mean, I can guess what they are but I'd never heard they exist.
re: 67
Ah, yeah. Twitter or something? Minor surgery. Am fine. Back at work as of now. Although I have official permission to skive off early and come in late for a few weeks.
Yeah, two dice and a little card that will tell you the answer to your question. A present from a friend that occasionally amuses the children.
And I forgot my 'filofax' - this is possibly the dorkiest item in existence: an A5 (Sainsbury's recipe card) ring binder, covered in gaffer tape. Inside, paper that has only been used on one side and is clearly too good to go into the recycling, folded into quarters and hole-punched. Used for writing various lists. One page just says 'Mycenae, Thebes, Athens, Sparta'.
Okay, since I'm loading the bag right now: 2 notebooks, firewire cable, ipad cable, bike lights, bike tube, pens and pencils, headphones, tire levers, patch kit, pliers, allen wrench, hat, bike pump, laptop sleeve, important form I should have filled out a while ago, buncha change. I guess I took out the cufflinks. This is prior to adding fruit, ipad, laptop, bike lock, plastic bag for bike seat, and gloves.
Arm warmers - e.g. http://www.etsy.com/listing/66064238/evening-lotus-arm-warmers-steel-slate?ref=cat_gallery_4 Mine are thin ones for wearing indoors (very warming) not chunky knitted ones.
This was in normal for Norfolk
Proverbially not the sharpest knives in the drawer.
72: I was picturing chunky knitted ones, like Jane Fonda had on her legs in 1982.
Oh dear, I just realised I said A5 when I meant A6. The shame of it.
76. Only a problem if you were tryig to get to Manchester and ended up in Shrewsbury.
76: that's okay. Americans are baffled by your incomprehensible paper sizes anyway.
Though I suppose that allows you to bring them with you even when you're not wearing a shirt that allows collar stays, and thus avoid owning a multitool.
I suspect the sort of people who buy collar stays are the sort of people who almost always wear shirts with collars.
52: The point is not to look cool. The point is that it beats (a) standing around wondering where you're going to get a bottle opener from, (2) damaging the furniture to open your beer, or (3) carrying a bulky single-purpose churchkey.
Single-purpose bottle openers are not bulky. I carry one on my keychain.
I hate having things hanging from my arms. I could never get the hang of a purse. Best case, I have wallet and keys in my fleece vest pocket, leaving the phone at home. Worst case, I have a backpack with books and sweaters and more fruit than you'd think and pockets with wallet/keys/phone.
I am inordinately self-satisfied with the fact that I've made several week+ trips in a daypack.
79: I suspect the sort of people who buy collar stays are the sort of people who almost always wear shirts with collars.
They never wear button-downs?
I'm wearing a shirt with collar stays right now. I always just leave in the ones that came with the shirt. I didn't even know they were supposed to be removable for years.
Without bothering to list it all, I usually have enough stuff at immediate hand to reboot civilization as we know it. Yeah, the bag can get heavy but when you need the emergency trache you'll be glad I had the kit.
82: Yeah, if they're not supposed to stay in, why are they called stays? Why not "collar removes"?
81 continued:
Also, what if they needed to open a beer or unscrew something while jogging?
I suspect that purse-readiness is positively correlated with:
(i) percent of trips made by public transportation
(ii) frugality
(iii) variability of weather
(iv) being female
(v) having chronic sinus problems
so I have it BAD.
I'm curious about Jammies, though. What is he packing because he doesn't trust anyone else to be prepared? First-aid kit? Frisbee? Floss?
My dad always kept a kite in the back of the car for emergencies. At any time, it could be a balmy windy day, and we might need to pull over and fly a kite. Frisbees would also be OK for that.
What is he packing because he doesn't trust anyone else to be prepared?
Rolls of 10 mil plastic sheeting, bleach, a variety of brushes, and latex gloves.
They never wear button-downs?
Not here they wouldn't. I'd associate button down shirts with schoolchildren or maybe people in nightclubs. Then again, formal shirt preferences seem to vary widely across the Atlantic. Last time I was in Champaign I had a terrible time trying to find what I would consider a "proper" shirt, ie one with "French cuffs". Went to several department stores and couldn't find a single one.
Ooh, look. Wikipedia has something to say on this:
Spread collars measure from around 3½ to 6 inches between the collar points, and the wider collars are often referred to as cutaway or Windsor collars after the Duke of Windsor. This city style is more formal, though it is common in Europe, and predominant in the UK.
Point, straight, or small collars are narrow, with 2½ to 3¼ inches between the points of the collar.
Button-down collars have points fastened down by buttons on the front of the shirt. Introduced by Brooks Brothers in 1896, they were patterned after the shirts of polo players and were used exclusively on sports shirts until the 1950s in America. It is still considered a more sporting style, and, particularly outside America, traditionally dressed men still do not wear suits with this style of collar.
89: The nicer stores are in Urbana.
I was fascinated with EDC for a while. My pocket kit consists of a Leatherman Juice (SAK size with pliers and a corkscrew, my two requirements beyond the basic blades,screwdrivers, etc.), and a keychain with an LED flashlight, a small pill carrier (good enough for a day's worth of meds), and a USB drive in addition to keys.
It's quite possible some of the stores were in Urbana. I know which of my relatives' houses are in Champaign and which are in Urbana, but that's it. I'm too lazy/boundary-ignorant to differentiate or even to say "Champaign-Urbana", so it's just Champaign to me.
90: Right, so one wears a button down collar on the weekends while engaged in recreational activities.
I don't prefer button downs and feel that they are especially not a great move with a suit, though I've certainly done it and it's kind of lawyerly here
The idea that you really need a shirt with french cuffs seems truly bizarro to me, however, in anything but absolutely the most formal conceivable setting. Do you wear a french cuffed shirt without wearing a suit?
My bag is ridiculous. the problem is it's too big and shit just gets lost in there. I have: iphone, work blackberry, reporter-sized notebook for work, 3 field notes (why do I have 3, all about half full with random scribblings?), pair of socks, coin purse, headphones, tide pen (boobs), lipstick, ibuprofen, 3 hair ties, antacids, 7 pens, emergency earrings (in case I have to make a not-nice outfit look nicer in a court emergency), orange, emergency clif bar, and lots of post-its.
I am enjoying reading about other people's bag-life
Do you wear a french cuffed shirt without wearing a suit?
Fuck yes! Particularly since cufflinks are one of the few bits of ornamentation men are traditionally permitted.
You know, people without boobs still get stains on their shirts.
92: I keep reconfiguring the EDC and bug-out stuff. I decided it's a hobby instead of a pathology. Really, the only problem is being buried under the avalanche of different carry/camera bags piled up in the closet. And every once in a great while someone really does need their chest opened and heart massaged.
100: I've never seen less-formal shirts you could wear with cufflinks that didn't have french cuffs.
102: Try taking off your x-ray glasses.
101: Be the change you want to see in the world.
I do buy stuff for new knitting projects way too often
You have an admirable tendency to finish your projects, though. I aspire to be you.
I have seen shirts that simultaneously had french cuffs and ... barrel cuffs, I guess they're called? One could wear them in either of the two ways.
However, it was not possible, as far as I could tell, to wear them in the barrel-cuff fashion without looking ridiculous.
I definitely carry too much crap on a daily basis. I have a messenger bag set up to carry a laptop around, although I almost never actually do that. Point-and-shoot camera, which I should stop carrying because I either deliberately take a dslr or have my phone; compact rolled-up reusable grocery bag for things that don't fit in the messenger bag itself; a bunch of random toiletries that might make sense for an overnight bag but not for a daily carry; first-aid kit; emergency rain poncho and matches (neither ever get used); a couple of chargers and cables for whatever I took on my last trip and haven't fished back out.
Why would you wear a less-formal shirt and no suit with cufflinks? Why not just start wearing gold chains and greasing back your hair? French cuffs are for dressing up a suit. Goddamn it I feel strongly about this.
people without boobs still get stains on their shirts
That's true. But boobs, especially shall we say, certain kinds, can increase the spill frequency greatly.
a clean handkerchief
LB lives in Regency England!
Bottle opener and little LED light go on the keychain. Leatherman on the belt, unless traveling by air (such as right now - hello down there!). Little change purse in the pocket, also serves to make it less annoying to keep keys in that pocket.
first-aid kit; emergency rain poncho and matches
Whereas Nathan lives in readiness for natural disaster or zombie invasion.
105: Thank you, but my start-to-finish ratio is not so great. I just spend enough time doing it that I look prolific. Or maybe that means am prolific? Still, there are tons of unfinished projects and even huger tons of yarn that's never become anything but yarn. After Val and Alex leave, I'm going to use some of the last stipend check to make my upstairs room a useable space, including getting all the yarn organized on bookshelves rather than in the six(?) giant plastic tubs they're in now.
My purse has a somewhat grody handkerchief!
Leatherman on the belt
Don't invite me to join "LinkedIn," it just reeks of dudes with cell phone holsters.
110: I in fact have one handkerchief with a crocheted lace edging, which I love a lot. When I get through with this goddamn scarf I'm stuck on, and a baby blanket I have backed up behind it, I think I will work myself a dozen, because you're not really married without a proper trousseau. I'm considering going all out and buying a couple of yards of handkerchief linen and linen thread, and making them from scratch.
Does linen really gather the nose-drippings as well as cotton?
The idea that you really need a shirt with french cuffs seems truly bizarro to me, however, in anything but absolutely the most formal conceivable setting. Do you wear a french cuffed shirt without wearing a suit?
No, but I don't really do smart casual. I'm either wearing a suit, or I'm wearing a t-shirt. And if I'm wearing a suit, I need proper, ie French, cuffs.
For the past few years, I've been trying to lessen my need to be a perfect, always prepared in case of emergency, girl scout. Of course, this means that people who travel to conferences with me now have to bring their own ponytail holders, bobby pins, multiple sizes of bandaids, shout wipes, wine corkscrews, safety pins, energy bars, hair spray, ibuprofin, prescription sleeping meds, glasses repair kits, adorable stickers, and so forth. I do keep all of the above items in the desk of my office, and have been known to share (all but the sleeping pills) with students.
61: I like these Lexar jump drives, and frequently saw them on sale at the St. Loui/s Park Super Target.
114: These are great for storing yarn.
120: Is wearing a french-cuff shirt without a suit smart casual?
120: Is wearing a french-cuff shirt without a suit smart casual?
Well, smart casual is notoriously ill-defined, so I don't know. The point is I don't wear shirts with a collar in non-formal contexts. And if I wear a shirt with a collar, it's a proper shirt.
I'm probably closer to 120 than not. If I'm wearing a shirt and not wearing a suit,* it's probably something very casual -- scruffy plaid, or fat-mod-like. Not smart-casual. If I'm wearing a shirt with a suit it tends to be french cuffs.
* and I'm not judging/ref'ing a frenchy-kicking match, when it's the thickest white cotton Oxford shirt I can find, for to conceal the sweat.
Corkscrews are something I would carry more often if I didn't keep leaving them in my bag when I fly somewhere. I have been surprised several times at not being able to find one - in someone's kitchen, or at a hotel, for example.
I'm considering going all out and buying a couple of yards of handkerchief linen and linen thread, and making them from scratch.
I've stored up a few containers of beeswax and keep intending to make candles from scratch. I'll practice this spring, hopefully.
But this summer my sister is growing cotton in her backyard, so maybe we can escalate and braid our own wicks for homegrown beeswax candles. How precise does a length of braided wick that is only going to burn have to be, anyway?
I've stored up a few containers of beeswax and keep intending to make candles from scratch
So what you're saying is that you mind your own beeswax?
128: Huh. I would actually worry that a candlewick has to have specific qualities, rather than merely being thick cotton string. I don't know that that's the case, but it could be.
118: Dunno, never blown my nose on linen. But linen was a standard handkerchief material for centuries, so it's got to be at least moderately functional.
My bag is a bit heavy at the moment, containing wallet, keys, small flashlamp, pen, wooly hat, leather gloves, large handled comb, makeup bag, paracetamol, tissues, iphone charger, memory stick, spiky ball inna sock, plus temporarily (since being away at the weekend) face wipes, nail varnish, silk scarf & hairclip.
But this summer my sister is growing cotton in her backyard...
I'm calling it today. The "Maker" thing has jumped the shark.
Dunno, never blown my nose on linen.
I have a number of linen hankies from my great-grandmother. (Probably they are precious heirlooms, yes, but my mother was going to throw them out, so I use them.) Soft! Don't wash them in the washamaschine.
Any handkerchief I make is getting machine washed. I may have the time and energy to crochet delicate lace edgings on something I'm going to blow my nose on, use to put pressure on small injuries, and dust off subway seats with, but no way in hell am I handwashing it. Linen's tougher than cotton: they'll manage. (Yours are heirlooms, so different.)
The absolute nicest if your nose is raw from a persistent cold is a silk hanky.
Handkerchiefs can be lovely things, but the idea of snorting your rhinovirus into them and then stuffing them back in your bag/pocket/up your sleeve (old army trick, apparently) for future reuse seems incalculably disgusting now, although I used to as a kid because everybody did. Mind you, I feel the same way about wallowing in bathwater.
I had vague memories there's a flickr group for people to display the contents of their bags. In fact, there's several.
Photo forums are always full of endless bag discussions. What size of bag, make of bag, etc to coddle just this particular combination of cameras and lenses in this particular style. Usually layered up with a ton of pretension.
'What bag to pick to make me look like a Magnum member, in French Indo-China ...'
Handkerchiefs can be lovely things, but the idea of snorting your rhinovirus into them and then stuffing them back in your bag/pocket/up your sleeve (old army trick, apparently) for future reuse seems incalculably disgusting now,
This. When I have a cold, there are handfuls of snot coming out. When I don't, I don't need a hanky.
C is obsessed with finding the perfect camera bag. Perhaps I'll send him over to root through Biohazard's closet.
This.
Apparently, that makes Adam K/tsk/ cry.
Last winter she grew wheat in her 300sqft lawn. The chickens had scratched the grass down to dirt and a farmer friend of hers offered her wheat. She was all, why not? Then it was funny to refer to her tiny urban backyard as the wheatfield and follow the Field Crop Reports from the USDA, and we'll do anything if it is funny. She harvested it with handclippers and uses the straw for her chickens. We still have to finish threshing it. But those are going to be some damn good pancakes when we do.
This year, we were trying to figure out what could possibly be more labor intensive and pointless than growing a backyard of wheat. I thought oats, because oat acreage is down by a third nationally, but most grains actually require hulling, which we don't want to do. We don't know how to roll or steam oats. Then I thought of cotton, which we can make into... wicks or cotton balls or something. Cotton it is!
136: Oh, if I've got a real cold, I've got tissues. Handkerchiefs are for random clean-piece-of-cloth requiring tasks, or for getting caught short without tissues: somehow I find it easier to always have a handkerchief than to always have tissues.
Best handbag story I know: Mrs y and a fellow activist were in a negotiating meeting with the head of HR, a notorious bastard and misogynist (even by 1980 standards), and the point came down to whether the union side could produce a document to prove their argument.
So the fellow activist started turning out her (large) bag, which she clearly hadn't sorted for a month: old tissues, gloves, sweets, anything. The bastard watched with mounting disgust for about a quarter of an hour while she kept up a commentary of "It's in here somewhere, what's this?". When she got to the half eaten week old chapatti, he capitulated on all points and agreed to the union proposals just to get them out of his office.
Outside the door, having stuffed all the crap back in the bag, she turned to Mrs y and said, "I wonder what I did do with that letter..."
She should have braided the straw and coiled it into hats!
One of the reasons I like to have a hankie around is that in New York in the winter, my nose starts to run after about five minutes exposure to the cold wind. It's just annoying.
re: 139
That's common. I ended up just buying a couple of Crumpler bags, one small, one medium. They have the advantage of being cheap(ish), widely available and hard-wearing. Pretty much the opposite of Magnum-in-Indo-China, though. For which you'd want Billingham.
http://www.billingham.co.uk/acatalog/The_Classic_550_Camera_Bag.html
Those always remind me, though, of Boden catalogues and Tory-arseholes in brightly coloured cords.
146: That sort of thing too -- where your nose is just sort of damp, rather than blowing out handfuls of snot. With a hankie you can dab at it at will, rather than going through a box of tissues every hour and a half.
She needed the straw for her livestock. Chickens would look silly in braided hats.
Bees, on the other hand, would look adorable in hats.
Wheat husks, cut in half and dyed an alluring shade, would make excellent hats for bees, keeping the sun off their little heads.
the idea of snorting your rhinovirus into them and then stuffing them back in your bag/pocket/up your sleeve
I do this with regular disposable tissues all the time. I know it's kind of gross, but there's generally a still-fresh corner on them somewhere. If it was just a dab job it's practically good as new! And what if later I'm stuck somewhere with nothing to blow my nose on?? Better gross than snuffling madly.
I hate carrying stuff around. When I would go to NYC from NJ I would typically bring only the clothes on my back and whatever I could fit in my pockets. One time I ended up staying there for three days like that.
That was me. I am the gently-used tissue hoarder.
And what if later I'm stuck somewhere with nothing to blow my nose on??
1. Take a deep breath.
2. Close mouth.
3. Hold one nostril closed with the thumb from the hand on that side while putting the index finger of that same hand just below (but not blocking) the other nostril.
4. Exhale with all your might.
5. Switch sides and repeat.
Step 3.5 should be to remember to stick your head about a bit. You don't want your shirt directly below your nose for this.
Reusing a tissue after a dab job or two is fine. It's the big cotton hankies, wringing wet with snot, from my childhood that make me heave in retrospect. One went out with a handkerchief: it was supposed to do all day, come hell or high water.
152: If you're going to do that, come over to the hankie side. They're pretty cheap, and much less unpleasant to have in your bag/pocket after being lightly used than a disintegrating tissue.
come hell or high water
Those seem like the two scenarios in which one would have the least possible use for a handkerchief.
Why would you wear a less-formal shirt and no suit with cufflinks? Why not just start wearing gold chains and greasing back your hair?
I don't know about you, but I personally am capable of finding subtle and tasteful bits of ornamentation. Cufflinks are accents, dammit.
108 is correct.
Et tu?
I am the gently-used tissue hoarder.
Solidarity!
Why would you wear a less-formal shirt and no suit with cufflinks? Why not just start wearing gold chains and greasing back your hair? French cuffs are for dressing up a suit. Goddamn it I feel strongly about this.
French cuffs are for suits.
Who wants to read about my lunch date?
I have an awesome shirt with French cuffs that I wear untucked with jeans. It's the color of Campbell's tomato soup and too big for me. I use small union pins as cufflinks.
Was looking for a few more "me"s, Sir K.
Memememememememememememememe.
How quickly I have become a meme.
Well, I think it went pretty well. She got to the restaurant about ten minutes late, but she had warned me of that by e-mail a couple of hours before and I walked her to her next appointment, so we were talking for about 2.5 hours. At least neither of us pulled the ripcord in medias res. She's very smart and cool, in a sector many degrees away from my experience. She said she would try to get me on the list for a thing that she is involved in tomorrow night.
121: 61: I like these Lexar jump drives, and frequently saw them on sale at the St. Loui/s Park Super Target.
I have one of those in my pocket right now. The plastic keychain loop part broke after I'd had it for 2 weeks. I also have a Dane-Elec one, also from Target, that is supposed to slide back to reveal the actual USB plug, but it was so poorly designed that it comes apart in normal use now. I don't want to pay $179.95 or whatever it is for one of those military-grade ones with the self-destruct feature, despite how cool that would be. I would probably pocket-self-destruct it within the same 2 week span that it took the other one to break.
Too bad Halford will lose the "Lunchy pulls Flippanter's ripcord, iykwim" bet.
167: So just how many emails were exchanged in preparation for this lunch date?
She's very smart and cool, in a sector many degrees away from my experience. She said she would try to get me on the list for a thing that she is involved in tomorrow night.
That sounds like good news, if less exciting than we were all hoping for.
167 sounds very positive. Which of the lines the Mineshaft gave you went over best?
She said she would try to get me on the list for a thing that she is involved in tomorrow night.
Eyes Wide Shut!!
I walked her to her next appointment
So how did you part? Handshake? Hug? Kiss? Quickie in the bushes?
Option a: The Ed Lover Dance.
Option b: Butt slap, ear lick, "see ya tomorrow night, toots."
"Catch you on the flip side," with finger guns?
Or perhaps Flipp just said "See you later," and Lunchy countered with the classic riposte "Not if I see you first!"
Please tell us there were finger guns. I love them so.
a thing that she is involved in tomorrow night.
Music? Drama? Community activism? Gunpowder plot?
Back to bags - I've come to loathe the cloth tote/shopping bag my contracting company gave me. Everything ends up in a jumble in the bottom. I'd still use my nice brief case, but people give me funny looks, and I am all about the social acceptance. Stupid peer pressure.
There was a friendly hug. I hate you all.
I just sent her an e-mail saying I had a lovely time and would like to see her again. One can be a little reserved with strangers.
For coming up with the finger guns idea too late? I kind of hate us, too.
There was a friendly hug.
Did she at least grab your ass while you were hugging?
Smart, interesting, interested, yay! How many kinds of tomato soup did she eat?
I just sent her an e-mail saying I had a lovely time and would like to see her again.
Well, now you've done blown it.
189: It's just like having Ogged back.
It's just like having Ogged back.
A condom fell out of Flip's jacket pocket as they were saying goodbye?
Damn it, Rob, I'm nervous enough. She's so smart and accomplished I might be intimidated if I weren't able to fall back on millennia of sexism for support.
What did you wear? Did you guys match? Were you twinsies? Otherwise it won't work out.
I'm so insulted that no one wants to hear about *my* date.
Oh god, I hope halford's right about Eyes Wide Shut. That or Fight Club. Either is good.
199: Did you two slaughter a bison together?
Did you guys match? Were you twinsies?
I wore a doublebreasted navy pinstripe pants suit to work on the day Buck was taking me to the opera for an early date. So did he. We looked like a vaudeville routine.
I just sent her an e-mail saying I had a lovely time and would like to see her again.
Well, now you've done blown it the perfect thing and she is delighted.
206: You know, like farmer jeans.
Hmm. On the list for an event. She's totally in publishing. Or PR.
||
Visual links:
Justin Bieber
Political caricature/portraiture
|>
Maybe she was just the lucky caller to a radio station.
"Arts". Could be a museum thing, or a gallery? Possibly something at an auction house?
203: I wore a yellow button-down shirt and plaid skirt to go with a girl to a concert (and we were both in our teens, so I'm not bein infantilizing about either of us) and she had plaid pants and a yellow polo shirt. I'd never been convinced it would be embarrassing to show up somewhere in the same dress as someone else, but looking like the sort of person who matches outfits with her girlfriend felt humiliating.
Doublebreasted pants?
You know, like farmer jeans.
As in overalls?
nosflow -- how was your date?
None of your business! Ugh, how prying you all are!
I may never be happy again if pictures of 203 don't show up in the flickr pool.
217: Yes, as in overalls was what I meant in 208, but no, I wasn't actually wearing pinstriped overalls. A doublebreasted suit jacket with matching pants, making a doublebreasted pants suit.
219: There are none. And it wasn't quite as good as it could have been: neither of us had either a bowler or an umbrella.
(I miss that suit. That was in a pile of awesome clothes I got handed down from a garment-industry friend who was about my size but a very different build, so she'd pass on clothes that were unflattering on her but often worked on me. There was also a maroon suit with a very short, full, pleated skirt that was completely inappropriate for anything but gorgeous. None of them fit after I had kids, and I gave them away to friends of Dr. Oops.)
Nosflow: How was your date? Was she hot? Did you eat meat? Did she clean and jerk you?
Did she clean and jerk you?
Seems like a weird order.
147 & 139: Asilon, next time he's in L.A. we can make a date to sort bags. Really.
Tamm, way back when, Banana Republic actually sold useful gear. I have what is obviously (now) a Billingham of the 550 flavor they had made under contract for BA. 'Twas exotic as all hell then in Birmingham, Alabama.
And yes, I regret not becoming a combat photographer and doing the dying young thing when I had the chance.
re: 227
Years ago, when I was still in my teens, a friend of a friend was the daughter of a guy who was a big cheese photographer. Advertising and music stuff, mostly. He'd shot the sleeve for Beggar's Banquet, among other things.
https://www.morrisonhotelgallery.com/photographer/default.aspx?photographerID=44
But he'd also be a war photographer in south-east Asia, in the mid 60s. I only spent a weekend at their house, but he had the most glamorous stories. Including one where he was eating dinner in an aviary in Vietnam while the village was being bombed, which sounded like something straight out of a movie.
So while I have no personal desire to die young (or at least young-ish), it did sound exciting.
229: I don't mind dying, it's the maiming and hurting I don't want to go through. Being a Smith or Capa in one of those possible alternate universes is something I consider when feeling disgustingly maudlin.
But at least I have the camera bags and gear for it and have a great imagination so not a complete waste.
Yeah. Don McCullin's autobiography, is a great read, but it does sound like a life that eventually does bad things to the soul.
I do have the camera(s) for it, too, but not the drive or anything much else.
168: My first Lexar broke off my keychain, but my second has lasted for over a year now. I don't keep anything confidential on it, so I can deal with the risk of losing it.
197: She's so smart and accomplished I might be intimidated if I weren't able to fall back on millennia of sexism for support.
It's incredibly difficult not to continue teasing Flip about all this.
I say: I wonder how neb's date went.
233: She wrote back! She said she had a wonderful time!
I feel at least a decade less cynical and callous all of a sudden.
234: Awwwwwww! I remember being all newly besotted. How exciting!
234: holy crap that's heart warming.
So, we should be getting the advice ready for your third date?
What do I do now? Play it cool, right? Not contact her for the industry standard six months, tell her I was digging for emeralds in Colombia and just lost track of time? I'm a bit rusty.
What if she gets me into this event tomorrow? Christ, I'll have to find another clean shirt.
Damn it, if you people had just made your horrible advice more convincing I could look forward to another evening of watching Archer in my pajamas. This all your fault, Unfogged!
Advise that you segue to telephone conversations sooner rather than later -- unless that's something you kids simply don't do these days.
Upside: you can hear one another's voices, and get a general sense of what's going on in one another's heads. This leads to a reduction on the intimidation front. Downside: you have to avoid being whiny or irritable.
Parsimon's advice is both convincing and horrible.
239.2: Hey, I got Chris Y. to believe that I was straightforwardly advising you to stare into her cleavage; don't I get credit for that?
That was pretty smooth. Fist bump.
Regarding the event tomorrow: if she can't get you into it, do not decide that it wasn't meant to be, and blow the whole thing off. Unless you wanted to anyway.
No, I think this one deserves a bit more in the way of perseverance than my usual early retreat.
Let's not go all stalkeresque.
I'm flattered that you think me capable of that sort of commitment, Halford.
234: I think I'll turn off the computers, get a large glass of Scotch, and watch the Kittens Frolicking HD channel for a few hours.
Flippanter, I am confident that, one way or another, she will get you into it.
Well, this is great news, Flip. I do advise whatever thing might help to reduce the intimidation factor (for me it would be phone conversation). Maybe just go together to a middle-brow restaurant to which you can wear Tevas old jeans something comfortable.
My earnestness is killing me here.
I do advise whatever thing might help to reduce the intimidation factor....
I think this is one of those deals where one just has to acknowledge, confront and repress sublimate one's fears.
Some Ativan chased down with a couple shots will relax you. And what girl doesn't what to spend an evening with someone who brings to mind a well fed zombie?
I find it astonishing that there's anyone for whom phone conversations serve to reduce intimidation, but here we are.
252: I wonder if she thinks I'm fat.
251: I disagree. I don't expect you to share details about what intimidates you in this case, but you need to be able to relax around her, eventually, and sooner rather than later.
253 kind of boggles me.
I'm not really intimidated; she's just so interesting I feel old abandoned parts of my brain moving again to pay attention to her.
Catching up, I read 108 as "greasing your back hair".
253 kind of boggles me.
I hate talking on the phone, and there are few things that I would find more stressful than a phone conversation with someone I don't know very well. I'm sure not everyone hates it as much as I do, but I hadn't really considered that there would be people who find it comfortable or relaxing.
There are a few people I really enjoy talking to on the phone, but fewer, I think, than I would enjoy talking to face to face.
257: Oh good. That's great, I think. There's no need to feel anxious about that. I think. I'm pleased for you!
She wore makeup, if anyone's interested. A darker lip color (fresh but not refreshed after lunch), maybe a little foundation.
I truly hate talking on the phone as well.
Anyhow, Flip, if you're worried she thinks you look fat, on the next date wear vertical stripes, like so.
263: Better that than stallin'.
266.2: So she'll know if you're walking or rolling.
[Sigh.]
I have to write back to her now. Should I tell her that I was glad to read her e-mail? Too much? Play it cool?
Yes. You were glad to read her email because it was too much playing it cool.
Why, exactly, do you have to write back?
Keep it short and sweet and save it up for the in person meeting.
Actually, write, " You are just so interesting I feel old abandoned parts of my brain moving again to pay attention to you. Also, I'm horny."
Flip, you know, don't get too dependent on our advice, or you won't be able to move forward in the relationship without our help.
[Sigh.]
So, guys, it's still our fifteenth wedding anniversary. She said something about how this is all amazing and our life with the kids is something something mumble transcendent mumble. Do I say something nice now, or do I wait until after my calvados is warmed up a bit?
"Daddy horny; decreasing in dementia risk"
She asked a not-very-important question and, more important, sent some links relevant to tomorrow night; I think it would behoove me to reiterate easygoing, no-big-deal interest in attending the event.
I have to write back to her now.
This way lies madness the death of the 'net.
259: I hadn't really considered that there would be people who find it comfortable or relaxing
With people I like and am interested in, it usually is comfortable and rewarding, yeah. If it's not, there's a compatibility problem -- at least that's how it pans out. I like hearing the play of people's voices as they respond to the thoughts on the table.
Obviously there are all kinds of cases in which this isn't true: someone you see all the time anyway, someone with whom you're in tension (or, of course, don't like especially), someone who calls to chat when you're in the middle of something. I'm not big on picking up the phone when I don't feel like talking.
262 - I'm impressed that you were able to discern that from under the accessory rfts told you to wear.
275: "yeah, I'll go to your stupid thing. The links would probably be blocked by netnanny or whatever so I didn't look. I'm sure I'll really enjoy myself lots."
Keep it short and sweet and save it up for the in person meeting.
Are we still talking about Flip's e-mail?
275: "So, if I go to this thing, we're definitely going to do it, right? I mean, not at the thing, necessarily, but later that night?"
I admit that Sifu is on fire with 273 and 279.
Talking on the phone is just terrible. I talk on the phone with
1) my folks, because it would be supremely weird to IM with them
2) my friend in Austin who collects victrolas and does sometimes send email but always puts the word internet in quotation marks so you can sort of imagine
3) my man because, you know, I just like to hear his voice
Approximately no one else. I used to talk on the phone quite a lot, and it took some doing to shift some of those relationships away from the telephonic.
Emoji is like talking on the phone but useful.
273 sent some links relevant to tomorrow night
Wait, you have assigned reading for your next date?
When Flip and Lunchy finally do it we can call him el Lunchador.
Mm, I think I'm better at connecting with people when I talk on the phone. Connecting interpersonally, like. I actually don't do it as much as I probably should -- I've blown off telephone talking with a handful of old college friends, chiefly because we're just not caught up with one another at all in a very personal way, and I call it awkward, but let's face it, it's avoidance on my part.
I reiterate the sentiment about hearing the play of people's voices on the phone. Best is to hear warm laughter. Internet communication can be as or more fulfilling in ways, but one can't stand in for the other.
288: And if they do it in the manner of a certain leporid, it will be luncha liebre.
Fuck a bunch of the phone. Best thing about computers is limiting the need for that thing.
I'm reading the aversion to the phone as an aversion to conversation. That can't be right, though.
Nope. I love conversation, but I hate the phone.
One thing I hated about personal ad dating was that the phone was considered an intermediate step between email and interview-for-a-date coffee date sometimes. Like teo says, not much is worse than making phone conversation with somebody you don't really know. What do you say? "How do you spell cat?"?
But, Robert. Do you have people you like to talk to? Do you just stop talking to them unless you're seeing them face-to-face?
This approach isn't getting me anywhere. A different approach: I've launched relationships via phone.
Do you just stop talking to them unless you're seeing them face-to-face?
More or less, yes.
Hmm, looking at the original thread, it was heebie who came up with "lunchy".
I must say that I'm making myself sound like a perpetual phone yacker, which I very seriously am not. I screen calls and take very few of them. I am, however, putting in a vote for hour-long conversations with people you're really fond of.
I'm with teo in 259. I'll really go out of my way sometimes to avoid making phone calls to people I don't know. I don't mind talking on the phone with people I know well, though. (But I'll probably never again approach the epic levels of telephone usage of my first year in college, when I was talking to my high-school girlfriend at least once a day for hours on end. In retrospect, I really could have been doing better things with that time.)
perpetual phone yacker
BLEAAAURGH
"what the, another phone? You should have that looked at."
GAAARRRGHH
People on TV shows answer the phone every time it rings. Usually within 2 rings or so, practically interrupting their conversations to go answer. I don't know what to make of that at all.
People on TV shows also usually don't do the usual conversation-closing tidbits or say "bye" at the end of their phone calls. Also, they never use the bathroom and we rarely see them sleeping. All of these things may be related.
Protip: Don't believe everything you read on the internet see on TV.
Oh. How is yakking or yacking (on the phone on online) properly spelled, anyhow? There's a book discussion list my partner and I commonly refer to as "the Yakkers (sp) list". They mostly argue about the same things over and over again, though they thankfully haven't been on about bubble wrap for a while now.
When my phone rings at work, after about two rings I mutter "oh I just can't" and then let it go to voice mail. Proving I am not on television.
So if birders are people who like to watch and identify different birds, are yakkers people who are intimately familiar with many varieties of yaks?
304: It's actually spelled "Yakuza", and be sure to identify yourself as a member when you write in to that group. They give the best answers if you're an insider.
I see I'm just going to have to look this up myself.
306: intimately familiar with many varieties of yaks?
"But if you become intimately familiar with just one yak..."
298: I'm with you. Phone conversations with people I like very much are much better than email. However, email and text are great for short info exchanges like "Dinner at the Grill on Friday?" "Sure".
The DE and I spent hours on the phone whenever we were apart. She had a marvelous voice.
Biohazard, are you sitting in front of your new computer in your new Aeron chair? Nice!
I'm with teo in 259.
Me too. Telephones are creepy.
So in other dating news, I just concluded a pleasant (low-key) first date. Or, more accurately, my date went home while I remain at the bar to a) sober up enough to drive and b) have something to eat. We didn't salute at parting, though.
312: The Aeron chair has made a very considerable difference in the pain levels and sensation loss. I now have to set a timer to remind myself to get up and move round. I can (but won't) sit for hours instead of minutes. That was a very good recommendation. The chair is worth every penny IMO.
It occurs to me that getting sufficiently buzzed as to not be able to drive home perhaps wasn't the best way to make a good first impression. Oh well.
317: Sufficiently buzzed is a good state to be sending her text messages. It's like you didn't read the bad-advice Flip thread.
318: I don't have her number! She has mine, but apparently mis-transcribed it and ended up texting some unsuspecting soul.
You could pull the unsuspecting soul. Hope on!
Lineaments of gratified desire all round, then? Congrats so far, Flippanter.
Jinx.
I don't have her number! She has mine, but apparently mis-transcribed it and ended up texting some unsuspecting soul.
Okay, so what you have to do now is systematically call all the numbers similar to yours and ask them if they've received any weird texts lately. If possible do this while still drunk.
Yes. Do what teo says. And order the nachos. Always order the nachos (with beans, in case there are hungry vegetarians afoot).
The amusing thing about 322 is that (at least as of a few years ago), my cell number in the other major area code around here was owned by another guy also named Josh. So, really, the possibilities for confusion are endless.
It has all the makings of an epic tale, not by Homer, but by someone else of the same name.
To the discussion way upthread:
Given the general crappiness of HP stuff, I've been surprised that my keychain usb - I think it's a v115w - has been pretty durable. I don't usually carry it with me every day, but I do take it along fairly often and I had it on the keychain for about three months last summer and I had my keys in my back pocket, and I sat on the keys and usb and pocket a lot and nothing broke.
What if she gets me into this event tomorrow? Christ, I'll have to find another clean shirt.
Damn it, if you people had just made your horrible advice more convincing I could look forward to another evening of watching Archer in my pajamas. This all your fault, Unfogged!
What Would Archer Do? Actually, don't answer that. And definitely don't do it.
Given the general crappiness of HP stuff
One thing I hate about This Modern World is the fact that more-random branded stuff like an HP flash drive is not made by HP, isn't something HP cares about, and the model this year is going to be made by a different vendor in a different factory and will have nothing in common with last year's model besides the "HP" stenciled onto it. If you liked last year's product, well, too bad, it's gone and nobody will tell you how to track down something that's actually similar.
(This is a bit less true of a company's core products; even when they outsource production of them, I expect them to care a bit about getting a product representative of their brand. Flash drive? Not so much.)
Huh, I hadn't realized that. That probably explains why I haven't seen similar HP flash drives in the same stores this year. I'm not really looking for more flash drives, but I'd probably have gotten another of the same model had I seen one.
Why would you buy an HP flash drive in the first place? Why not find a brand that you like and that has some consistency?
