Obviously the appropriate reaction to this post is to ignore it completely and not post any comments.
Mediation is for losers. Litigate, don't Mediate.
I recently attended a retreat for students and faculty that was supposed to be a mixture of fun and mature conversation on sensitive topics, and the students were really great, but one of the facilitators, every single time she opened her mouth, said, "Hey, actually, for *this* exercise, we're actually gonna need you to actually be totally silent." Or, whenever she introduced the idea behind the activity, she'd be spouting some bullshit she clearly didn't understand, and the less she knew about it, the more times she said "actually." "Actually? *This* exercise is based on what's actually called a living theater technique, which was actually created by..." I pointed this out to a colleague so that we could at least spend the weekend glaring at each other and trying not to crack up instead of me alone planning to stab her.
What's the opposite of a facilitator? Difficilitator.
Maybe you should request mediation. What were the trainers' genders?
Arrgh. This drives me fucking nuts. It's a sore spot because I got in trouble every damn year for not raising my hand in class. Like, when I was 16, my friends would say "Hey, I saw your mom in the hall." And I'd say "Yeah, she got called in to talk to my teachers over THIS." Every damn year. And I swear that I was no worse than the boys in the classes, although I was generally the only girl being that obnoxious.
(To my mom's immense credit, she's the one that initially clued me in to the bias. I finally asked why I never got in trouble after these events, and got a rant about gender inequality in the classroom.)
One male, one female, the woman taking the lead.
In my defense, I was totally dense on the point that group conversations were a pedagogical tool meant to get students to phrase their ideas. I thought the point was to create the best conversation possible, as a group, ie the most interesting thing to read, were it to be transcribed into a long comment thread.
6
As do I.
You do? I thought you liked to hang out in your office and snarl at anyone who intruded.
10
One male, one female, the woman taking the lead.
And what was the makeup of the class?
9, 11: Yeah, this is a funny thing, because I do agree that a tightly controlled conversation that required all the shy people to come out of their shells and talk would be better -- I think someone running a good class would have shut me down, possibly even more than they did. What burns is the selective enforcement.
It's funny, this didn't happen in law school at all. Again, there was the gunner/silent-majority pattern, and most of the gunners (not actually a word used at NYU in my experience, but you know what I mean) were men, but I had no problem getting put in the 'talk as much as you like' group.
12: Socializing and pontificating serve entirely different needs. If I have an audience that can benefit from my wisdom, rather than people who want to chat about their lives, I'll talk forever.
13: Pretty close to 50-50.
What burns is the selective enforcement.
But, exactly. It's using a veneer of pedagogy to be a complete sexist shit. It doesn't accomplish anything pedagogical except to further silence the rest of the women in the group who might have otherwise been brought out.
IM k-12 E, I was not obnoxious in well-run classes where all the super-talkers were reigned in. The problem was that I wouldn't shut up if other people were being chatty, and then I'd get singled out for punishment.
Also, we all know perfectly well that LB was saying things that were right and needed said. Whereas my expectations are low for the other jackasses.
14
It's funny, this didn't happen in law school at all. ...
Have you noticed any difference between male and female teachers (or whatever) in this regard?
I haven't. It stopped in college, though, possibly because my parents were 1500 miles away.
Although the particularly dickish (male, math) teacher I had as a senior in high school would repeatedly yell at me that my problem would catch up with me in college, and they wouldn't let me get away with this stuff there.
Has my whole life been spent proving Mr. Massey wrong?
I always read "mediation" as "meditation". Comments like 4 don't help my confusion. An article years ago about talks between the locals and the religious at Maharishi Vedic City, IA confused the hell out of me.
I am am obnoxious talker in class, but for me it doesn't translate to blogs, evidently.
Does it translate to salary negotiations?
Alas, not effectively. Three days on the job, and one was already work-from-home because a transformer exploded and power was out for the whole neighborhood.
So you still got the job offer, accepted a mediocre negotiation outcome, and then had an unrelated but interesting event?
That is an accurate summation of the process.
I suspect that, as with abnormally high GPAs/SAT scores/honor society memberships and an alarming alacrity for extreme procrastination, the Unfoggedtariat counts a disproportionate number of Class Discussion Dominators among its ranks.
When I'm conducting a class, I call on female questioners as a priority. To even things out over the course of their lives, and over the whole of our sick society. And no, I don't think taking them in order of attractiveness diminishes the social good I'm doing.
28: Yeah, that's definitely one of the reasons I feel comfortable here.
29: I think that prefacing your call for questions with the phrase "and, please, hotties first" might be a bit questionable.
I make them line up by sluttiness.
32 -- Wait until you're called on, young lady. You'll get your turn.
I make them line up by sluttiness.
"now, everyone who won't give head on the first date take one step forward! Whoa, who do you think you're kidding, Jones?"
(I'm participating in this thread on the assumption that driving LB mad will get me CLE credit. How'm I doing?)
I talk. Oh, I talk.
And nothing wrong with "honing in", of course.
Obviously, this is the most minor of possible gripes. I probably wouldn't even have been all that pissed if I hadn't been primed to be enraged by all the "honing in" abuse.
Ummm, LB, this does not seem so minor... Why do you say that?
Also, I totally thought/wished this post was about you taking a meditation course, too.
First 20 comments: 9 my men, 11 by women.
Next 17: 14 by men, 3 by women.
Winning!
-m + b
38 before 37. Please reveal gender sa so we can respond appropriately.
I make them line up by sluttiness.
"Prudes in the front, sluts in the rear. IYKWIM."
Wait until you're called turned on, young lady. You'll get your turn call.
37: Ummm, LB, this does not seem so minor... Why do you say that?
Complaining about not being allowed to dominate the discussion seems uncouth, and it wasn't really glaring enough that I'm dead sure that the classroom management was sexist, rather than just unskilled. I certainly got well more than 1/30 of the student airtime, even on the second day.
Complaining about not being allowed to dominate the discussion seems uncouth,
This isn't really what you're complaining about. You're complaining about being silenced because you're female, while males are allowed to continue to dominate. At no time did the instructors actually seem to facilitate air time for quiet students. (I presume.)
I was sitting in my co-teacher's class the other week thinking he does a good job of pushing the students to clarify and justify their initial statements. Then I realized he was mostly pushing back with the women.
Complaining about not being allowed to dominate the discussion seems uncouth
haha I was scrolling down the comments, preparing to make this statement to LB. But she beat me to it.
How obnoxious!
The single most obnoxious gunner (a term I learned only last year) I've encountered at my current school is a woman, but her obnoxiousness is outweighed by the obnoxiousness of all the male gunners. Among people who merely contribute a bit more than their share to the discussion without being totally obnoxious (a category I optimistically place myself in), there's usually a pretty good gender balance I think, but still probably more men than women.
I wondered where you were, LB.
That sounds like bad teaching, which is a shame coming from people who are supposed to be all aware of stuff like that.
prefacing your call for questions with the phrase "and, please, hotties first"
What gets me are the hot girls who, by virtue of their hottness, assume all are hanging on their every word and pontificate far beyond their competence. This happens with guys too, but not so much IME.
47: It was actually quite a good class: if it had been globally lousy I'd have checked out more, and not particularly cared that all the oxygen was getting sucked out of the room by a couple of blowhards.
49.2: And mixed metaphors were the least of it!
What gets me are the hot girls who, by virtue of their hottness, assume all are hanging on their every word and pontificate far beyond their competence. This happens with guys too, but not so much IME. generally it's because they're wealthy.
Why on God's green earth would you aggressively participate in a mediation CLE class? Or, even more bizarrely, feel bad about not being allowed to participate? Everyine knows those pointless things are for daydreaming/smartphone web surfing.
Aggressive participation is one way out of the boredom. Back in school, long before smartphones, we did an in-class reading of some play or other; I quickly volunteered to read one part, because it was clear that my options were to do that, or to silently pretend to pay attention for an hour, and I was out of other homework that I could work on with sufficient stealth.
46: The single most obnoxious gunner
OI, WATCH IT, YOU!
What's more striking to me is not the gender imbalance of the gunners. I actually don't see a big shortage of women who are willing to pipe up in class.
I do see a massive difference in the kinds of women who speak in class compared to the kinds of men. The women who participate in class are all around good students. They study for tests, do the homework, and email in advance if they are going to miss class. They've done the reading and are prepared to talk about it. Male students who talk in class, on the other hand, do so because they believe that everyone needs to hear their very important opinions, even if they aren't even sure what the class is about.
48: Now I'm all insecure about whether my smouldering good looks have led me into a mistaken belief about how compelling my thoughts are.
I only read your comments because I know all that text represents smoking hotness in person, LB.
I talk so much I needed to get told to stop at the meetup. Mortifying! And yet--I used to be worse!
56: definitely looking forward to the meetup on Thursday.
I'm also insecure about whether my volubility has led me into a mistaken belief about how smouldering my good looks are, so, take that under advisement.
Oh good, a sexism thread.
Remember the problem with Professor X?
I just had a meeting with the chair of the department. He told me 1. It would be "unfair to Professor X" to extend the ban to male students also, 2. That the graduate studies committee can't consider this problem as part of the decision of whether to renew me, but don't worry because "we hardly ever terminate anyone; we need the TAs", and 3. He does not consider the policy to be problematic.
What an interesting view of fairness the Chair holds.
Jesus Fucking Christ. I'd be thinking about lawyering up (although that might not be the most productive reaction, for reasons given in the previous thread about this).
Also not an academic, and so I don't know what's good advice in your situation, but I'd be trying to get the chair in writing on those points, and then considering going public.
I assume they no longer call on LB because the obvious correctness and clarity of her opinions tends to silence discussion.
I did try pointing out to the trainer that the commenters support me on the internet, but it fell flat somehow.
61 -- That's extraordinarily outrageous. It really might be time to think about lawyering up.
61: That fucking sucks. You'd be my hero if you did something. I often didn't do anything other than complain about it when outrageous things happened involving old tenured dudes and harassment because I was afraid of retaliation and seeming like trouble. It turns out, I'm unemployable anyway.
but I'd be trying to get the chair in writing on those points, and then considering going public.
Even if you are not ready to go public, just getting some of this in writing would be good. Just having "We do not let Professor X have female graduate students because of sexual harassment problems" in writing would be a start.
Maybe you should ask your department chair via email for a clarification of the policy. Say something like "So am I correct that the departmental policy is ..." If everyone else thinks this policy isn't a big deal, they may not even realize they are making an important step by committing to this in writing.
It turns out, I'm almost all recent humanities PhDs are unemployable anyway.
Yes, get it in writing. Even if you just send an email saying "So, based on our meeting today, my understanding of the policy is x. Please correct me if I'm wrong." And then the lack of response from the chair would count for something (although it might not carry as much weight as "Yes, the policy is x.").
If everyone else thinks this policy isn't a big deal, they may not even realize they are making an important step by committing to this in writing.
This is right. A sneakiness tip -- if you can draft your email so that it contains all the bad stuff, but it looks as if you're looking for reassurance in writing that you shouldn't worry about termination, you may fly under the radar more successfully.
Maybe you should ask your department chair via email for a clarification of the policy. Say something like "So am I correct that the departmental policy is ..." If everyone else thinks this policy isn't a big deal, they may not even realize they are making an important step by committing to this in writing.
I like this idea.
A sneakiness tip -- if you can draft your email so that it contains all the bad stuff, but it looks as if you're looking for reassurance in writing that you shouldn't worry about termination, you may fly under the radar more successfully.
Agreed. The tone shouldnt be "Im nailing your ass" but "Just want to make sure that I am covered."
Then, once they commit, shove it down their f'ng throats. Preferably with LB's touchy-feely mediation skills.
It turns out, I'm almost all recent humanities PhDs are unemployable anyway.
I thought this comment, from an otherwise pretty by-the-numbers thread about humanities PhD overproduction, was nice:
I eventually got a job at a non-profit in the jolly-olly field of work-force development, and gained some insight into how employers think about PhDs. It wasn't pretty. I remember one HR Director at a Chamber of Commerce party, who after a few drinks, told me "Why would I hire some PhD who can't cut it in his own field? I'm not in the business of hiring losers, even smart ones." (He had no idea I was one of his smart losers, and I didn't tell him.)
If the following job description ever appears, there will almost certainly be a mile-long queue of over-ripe humanities Ph.D.'s vying for the position:
WANTED: Well-educated, disgruntled individual with absolutely no knowledge of or background in business. Proven ability to work long hours for microscopic financial compensation. Strong sense of entitlement coupled with shame and self-doubt a must. Requires ability to deconstruct shallow management fads for the benefit of coworkers, whether they want to hear it or not, while simultaneously looking down on same coworkers ironically for their "uninformed" passion for consumer culture. Excellent verbal skills, sardonic humor, and a strong desire to be elsewhere a plus. Preference given to individual with literary "Deep Theory" background who despises capitalism.
Luckily, as someone who spent 8 years not getting a PhD, I don't have to worry about that.
But ugh, Mrs. Lincoln, that really sucks. Ugh ugh ugh.
70 gets it right.
As before feel free to contact me privately. If you ever do want to make a stink I have some resources which could be helpful.
I wish that I were smart enough to think of 73. I tend to go in with guns blazing.
So, how do I get the Associate Director of Mental Health atmy agency to admit that he back signs documents and commits med/icaid fra/ud? I really wish I could find a way to get his license revoked, but that would be stupid for me career-wise, and is just a fantasy. He really is an asshole.
My point being only that I suck at this subtle stuff.
I saw a job description for a paralegal-type position for a small financial services firm (probably doing trusts) in Harvard Square which specifically requested Ph.Ds preferably in Classics or Art History or something for a long-term position.
Instead of the usual cover letter they wanted people to write about something interesting they had learned recently
I mentioned it here at the time. I should have cut and pasted it, because craigslist listings disappear.
That is hilarious and awesome and sad.
Ms. Lincoln - you can draft your email here and get lots of excellent advice. I've done that before.
Also, if you haven't yet contacted someone here that's in your field, you really totally should. My email's available under my name, below, if it's math.
83: The fraud or the job listing?
I know a lawyer who only hires PHds as his secretaries/legal assistants. Never hires anyone from Paralegal school. Just PHds.
As others have mentioned above, they are smart, willing to work for nothing, and in abundant supply.
87: And I knew that! But if I hadn't replied, what might other people have thought? Horrible, horrible things.
It would be "unfair to Professor X" to extend the ban to male students
This is so disgusting I had to repost it. My sincere condolences, Abraham.
Talk about your cases of inappropriate empathy. Be nice if the chair remembered who he was supposed to be representing, here.
42
... and it wasn't really glaring enough that I'm dead sure that the classroom management was sexist, rather than just unskilled. ...
Well of course there is a theoretical possibility that you were being shut down for some reason other than being a girl.
I want more news on this thread! I want to see a picture of the department chair's face when he suddenly realizes that he's been a douchebag and soon everyone will know it!
(I may be a little demanding.)
91: Indeed. Most people aren't all that touchy about being bitten, but the trainer may have taken exception to it.
81, as someone who has defended some federal criminal cases of the sort you mention, I think you probably need some serious legal advice.
There's also a thing called the federal claims act that opens the possibility to profit from the director's perfidy.
94: The main thing he's done that to me is not kosher is backdating treatment plan documents, and I've been told to do it too. But they're on track to get everything written up on time.
There's no profit to be made. The state gives us a flat rate per day enrolled. (Maybe there's some money if they're new to our services.) We have billable events for which the state department of mental health bills medicaid. The state wants us to bill medicaid as much as possible, since they want to maximize the amount of money they get from the Feds. That money goes straight into the state's general fund. The company doesn't get any money. The only incentive is to get the Department of Mental Health to renew the contract.
Are you talking about a qui tam suit? I don't quite get how that would work if it was the state getting the money taken away from it.