- I have brutally mocked this exercise and characterized you as "Administrative Schmuck" on a blog.
Your life may be micromanaged by superior academic life forms, but I don't think you can compare yourself to BALB.
Is this the thread where we are all to say something about ourselves that our cob-loggers don't know? Sifu said he would go first.
Sifu said he would go first.
I vote urple.
Well? What's the narrative?
We'd also be interested in hearing what progress you've made on the sex act.
While you're at it, could you explain cohomolgy? Because it's a total mystery to me.
8 is the title of a new NPR show where contestant try to differentiate between real and fake happenings from urple's life.
-I saw something nasty in the woodshed
- I was born a small black child.
-I love the smell of Napalm in the morning.
- On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly ben the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs.
-I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
-Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
16: Student field trip driver expectation SOLVED!
I would have gone with the one about cohomology theory in your place, but that's probably because playing soccer is so common over here that it's just boring.
I used to respond to this sort of thing by saying that my uncle once bared his arse in a movie by Yoko Ono. But then I found I was increasingly dealing with a generation who had never heard of Yoko Ono. So I retired.
-I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
-I do not think that they will sing to me.
I would have thought you would go with telling about having written children's books with your mother. Or is that too widely known?
- Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
-I happen to have the kind of body that excites both persuasions.
- If I had a dollar for every ace I have drawn, I could own a town the size of Abilene.
Not everybody knows how I killed old Phillip Mathers, smashing his jaw in with a spade; but first it is better to speak of my friendship with John Divney because it was he who first knocked old Mathers down by giving him a great blow in the neck with a special bicycle-pump which he manufactured himself out of a hollow iron bar.
I know about cynomolgus monkeys but not cohomologous monkeys.
Just steal one from this difficult-to-read Reddit thread where people post anonymously about their darkest secrets. "I killed seven people by improperly installing a gas heater" is probably the winner, but "As a teenager I had regular sex with both my brother and my sister" is a popular upset pick.
It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.
- I have sought escape in the Prytania on more than one occasion, pulled by the attractions of some technicolored horrors, filmed abortions that were offenses against any criteria of taste and decency, reels and reels of perversion and blasphemy that stunned my disbelieving eyes, the shocked my virginal mind, and sealed my valve.
--"Reader, I married him."
--"and I alone escaped to tell thee."
--"The woman buried in the crypt is not Rebecca. It's the body of some unkown woman, unclaimed, belonging nowhere. There never was an accident. Rebecca was not drowned at all. I killed her. It's Rebecca who's lying dead there on the cabin floor. Will you look into my eyes and tell me that you love me now?"
--"I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."
- My taste includes both snails and oysters.
- Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous, by drunken prophecies, libels and dreams, to set my brother Clarence and the king in deadly hate, the one against the other.
-I have done a thousand dreadful things, as willingly as one would kill a fly,
- I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox.
- My cat's breath smells like cat food.
I bet that your colleagues would love to know your architect's email address.
- Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don't know.
Administrative Schmuck has an architect?
2: I love traditional, artisanally inbred mice.
-If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
I knew I would love this thread!
I would have thought you would go with telling about having written children's books with your mother. Or is that too widely known?
I didn't want to risk doing something braggy in case everyone went with "I eat ice cream with bananas!" Or worse, if everyone else went with "I am working really hard to finish my bachelor's degree at night school while raising three kids on my own and being a custodian at this hellhole."
- In the beginning, sometimes I left messages in the street.
- I know how it feels to be thick as a brick
- As I was young and easy under the apple boughs about the lilting house and happy as the grass was green, the night above the dingle starry, time let me hail and climb golden in the heydays of his eyes.
- I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were about when they begot me.
44.1: I knew I would love this thread!
And perfect cover for some who need not be named to describe a novel sexual act they had engaged in.
Well? What's the narrative?
She was holding a bath toy cup up to her crotch, and had that faraway look, so I asked her if she was peeing. She said yes, and explained how she was catching it all in the cup, but it was the cup with the holes on the side, and so it would come out but some of it would stay in, and so on and so forth.
48: - My respiratory system, unfortunately, is below par. I suspect that I am the product of particularly weak conception on the part of my father. His sperm was probably emitted in a rather offhand manner.
- I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back want my baby back baby back baby back Chili's baby back ribs.
-In 5 years, the penis will be obsolete.
- I am now librarian of the San Francisco Call.
- I have no wish to romanticize the turd.
- I first heard Personville called Poisonville by a red-haired mucker named Hickey Dewey in the Big Ship in Butte.
- My brothers Rob, Bob, Tom, Paul, Ralph, Phil, Noah, Wi1liarn, Nick, Dennis, Christopher, Frank, Simon, Saul, Jim, Henry, Seamus, Richard, Jeremy, Walter, Jonathan, James, Arthur, Rex, Bertram, Vaughan, Daniel, Russel, and Angus; and the triplets Herbert, Patrick, and Jeffrey; identical twins Michael and Abraham, Lawrence and Peter, Winston and Charles, Scott and Samuel; and Eric, Donovan, Roger, Lester, Larry, Clinton, Drake, Gregory, Leon, Kevin, and Jack--all born on the same day, the twenty-third of May, though at different hours in separate years--and the caustic graphomaniac, Sergio, whose scathing opinions appear with regularity in the front-of-book pages of the more conservative monthlies, not to mention on the liquid crystal screens that glow at night atop the radiant work stations of countless bleary-eyed computer bulletin-board subscribers (among whom our brother is known, affectionately, electronically, as Surge); and Albert, who is blind; and Siegfried, the sculptor in burning steel; and clinically depressed Anton, schizophrenic Irv, recovering addict Clayton; and Maxwell, the tropical botanist, who, since returning from the rain forest has seemed a little weird somehow, and Jason, Joshua, and Jeremiah, each vaguely gloomy in his own "lost boy" way; and Eli, who spends solitary wakeful evenings in the tower, filling notebooks with drawings--the artist's multiple renderings for a larger work?--portraying the faces of his brothers, including Chuck, the prosecutor; Porter, the diarist; Andrew, the civil rights activist; Pierce, the designer of radically unbuildable buildings; Barry, the good doctor of medicine; Fielding, the documentary-film maker; Spencer, the spook with known ties to the State Department; Foster, the "new millennium" psychotherapist; Aaron, the horologist; Raymond, who flies his own plane; and George, the urban planner who, if you read the papers, you'll recall, distinguished himself, not so long ago, with that innovative program for revitalizing the decaying downtown area (as "an animate interactive diorama illustrating contemporary cultural and economic folkways"), only to shock and amaze everyone absolutely everyone, by vanishing with a girl named Jane and an overnight bag packed with municipal funds in unmarked hundreds: and all the young fathers: Seth, Rod, Vidal, Rennet, Dutch, Brice, Allan, Clay, Vincent, Gustavus, and Joe; and Hiram, the eldest; Zachary, the Giant; Jacob, the polymath; Virgil, the compulsive whisperer; Milton, the channeler of spirits who speak across time; and the really bad womanizers: Stephen, Denzil, Forrest, Topper, Temple, Lewis, Mongo, Spooner, and Fish; and, of course, our celebrated "perfect" brother, Benedict, recipient of a medal of honor from the Academy of Sciences for work over twenty years in chemical transmission of "sexual language" in eleven types of social insects--all of us (except George, about whom there have been many rumors, rumors upon rumors: he's fled the vicinity, he's right here under our noses, he's using an alias or maybe several, he has a new face, that sort of thing)--all my ninety-eight, not counting George, brothers and I recently came together in the red library and resolved that the time had arrived, finally, to stop being blue, put the past behind us, share a light suppers and locate, if we could bear to, the missing urn full of the old fucker's ashes.
- I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.
Without having clicked through, 57 made me laugh.
- Turning, I mentally digested all of what you, the listener, are about to find out heartbreakingly.
- I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.
_ I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
15: WTF! How did the one page I didn't scroll through contain the best one! Dammit.
-I have become comfortably numb.
- I can change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.
-My mother died of pneumonia when I was just a kid. My father had kept their wedding cake in the freezer for ten whole years. After the funeral, he gave it to the yardman. He tried to act cheerful, but he could never be consoled by the little stranger he found in his house. Then, one day, hoping to begin a new life away from the scene of all his memories, he moved us from Texas to Ft. Dupree, South Dakota.
- I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war.
You guys are just bragging. Come on, now. Where's "I have toenail fungus" and "My desk is a horrible mess" and "I can't grow a tomato to save my life"?
-I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver is bad, well--let it get worse!
Did the review linked in 57 actually appear in print?
I read 51 and started guessing, is that by Philip Roth, or Bret Easton Ellis, or Carl Hiaasen, or what.
Tom Wolfe. That thing with the cup.
- I've been in the mood since the late 1700's.
-I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
-I have lived many years and, after many trials and tribulations, I have come to the conclusion that the best thing is...blonde, 12-year-old girls. Two of them, whenever possible.
- Jesus died for somebody's sins. But not mine.
- Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.
69 - Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold and the mate of the Nancy brig. And a bo'sun tight and a midship mite and the crew of the captain's gig.
- I stole the cookies from the cookie jar.
-
Yet when she vow'd to see thy face no more,
And, heartless, thou stood'st whining at the door,
I met the angry fair, all over charms,
And catch'd her flying from thy frozen arms.
Much pains it cost to right the injur'd dame;
A whole night's vigour to repair thy shame:
- I am the very model of a modern Major General
-I've got blisters on my fingers!
- in the linked matter of the suitability of the relevant inhabitants of the micro-environment for (further or ordered) communication or association it is my opinion that the reaction to my presence indicates a fundamental unreadiness as yet for such a signal honor lastly in recognition of the foregoing i wish now to be known hereafter as the excession thank you end
- I dreamt I saw Joe Hill last night.
-I put that envelope under that garbage.
- I am the Lizard King I can do anything. I made the blue cars go away
-
Myself when young did eagerly frequent Doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument About it and about: but evermore Came out by the same Door as in I went.With them the Seed of Wisdom did I sow,
And with my own hand labour'd it to grow:
And this was all the Harvest that I reap'd--
"I came like Water, and like Wind I go."
- I'm the last known survivor. I stalk my prey in the night.
- I was born in a cross-fire hurricane.
- I can change gallantly, plan the dying, butcher a ship, conn a wall, design a sonnet, write manure, balance a diaper, build equations, set an invasion, comfort efficiently, take orders, give a bone, cooperate, act orders, solve a tasty meal, analyze a building, pitch a computer, program accounts, cook a hog, fight a new problem, die alone.
I have seen the best minds of my generation. Not here, though. In my last job.
- I was in the house when the house burned down.
- I don't want you to be no slave. I don't want you to work all day. I don't want you to be true. I just want to make love to you.
-I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
-I often dream of trains when I'm alone.
99 was me, and was randomly generated.
- I grew up very much alone, and as far back as I recall I was frightened of anything sexual.
- I started out on burgundy but soon hit the harder stuff.
- In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days.
- There is a very loud amusement park right in front of my present lodgings.
-I shot the sheriff, and I've never admitted this before, but I also shot the deputy.
"I'm old and rough and dirty and tough!"
-I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Tom Wolfe. That thing with the cup.
Can't possibly be. It didn't contain the words "loamy loins".
-I have the same dream and I dream it every night.
-Is it worth it, let me work it.
I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it
- I'll spin you yarns and tell you lies, I'll drink your wine and eat your pies, I'll kiss your cheeks and black your eyes, I'm Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
- I'm a country boy at heart, like so many of you in the audience. Just kidding! They're stupid!
- I have a little bit of Motown in my soul
- I tip on alligators and little rattlesnakers
-I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning.
- I am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.
-I'm not dumb, but I can't understand why she walked like a woman and talked like a man.
-I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you
- I am never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
- I'm skipping this banquet in order to do drugs.
I'm the one who said "Just grab 'em in the biscuits."
- I'm doing drugs in order to skip this banquet.
- I'm out of drugs so I'm skipping this banquet.
- I'm Sir Kraab. But you can call me Ishmael.
Did the review linked in 57 actually appear in print?
I don't think so.
- I am the Lord you God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
- When the rooms were warm, he'd call, and slowly I would rise and dress, fearing the chronic angers of that house, speaking indifferently to him, who had driven out the cold and polished my good shoes as well.
- I am a poseur and I don't care. I like to make people stare!
- I co-authored an invisible book with my pretend best friend on imaginary numbers.
- I am a lumberjack and I'm ok.
-I am the continental principality of America! I am a bird of prey! I will not be compelled!
-I took the door.
- I am the very model of a mighty major general.
- I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam.
- I'm way lazier than you think.
162: Apparently, since you didn't bother to read 86.
-Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money--and a woman--and I didn't get the money and I didn't get the woman. Pretty, isn't it?
- It was I who killed the old woman and her sister, Lizavetta, with an axe, and robbed them.
- I've got a forked tongue and cloven feet.
- I call bad he who always wants to put people to shame.
-I got a tombstone hand and a graveyard mind.
- Arms and the man I sing, who came first to Italy and Livinian shores, driven by fate from the coasts of Troy.
Wow. I read 166 without (I thought) recognizing it, then I thought of using Double Indemnity, found the script, and...
- When they say "Don't bring me down, Bruuuuce!", I'm Bruce.
-MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK BERSERKER
- I've invented what I believe is a genuinely novel human sexual activity.
Me? I'm in a rock and roll band.
I have also ridden in a Stutz Bearcat, although not for quite some time.
When I was young, I was the king of carrot flowers.
I left home for experience, carved "suck for honesty" on my chest.
- "Blowjob" is my middle name.
- I believe that the stimulus package was too SMALL!
- I am the Head of the Molybdenic Secret Service. I know things that you do not know.
It's surprising that it took 182 comments for someone to get there.
Also, I'm still involuntarily laughing out loud every time I read the sentence quoted in 182.
I'm at the Pizza Hut. I'm at the Taco Bell. I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
-The boys call me Dr. Professor Longhair, but the girls all call me a little old lovin' man.
I do not avoid women, but I do deny them my essence.
- I have shared everything already, with friends I'll never meet, whose names I do not know, in silent words unaccompanied by voice or gesture.
- Over Christmas, Al Newell and I invented a thinking machine.
The "best-of" roundup of the reddit thread at the link in 27 is fantastic. I can't believe somebody posted pictures of their "cum box."
- My name is Legion, for we are many.
- The devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car. Nothing quite like the feel of something new.
I have no keyboard, and I must comment.
... although a comment on the article alleges that the pictures were ripped from an earlier 4chan thing, so who knows.
-I'll tell you right out, I am a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.
I can stop lying
I can stop punching my own face
I can stop stealing money
I can stop hating my own heart
I can do it
Because of you
I can stop scratching up my cheeks
I can stop drinking so much
I can stop wanting to kill myself
I can stop wanting your perfect heart
I can do it
Because of you
- I'm in ur base, killing ur doodz
- They often call me Heebie, but my real name is Mr. Earl.
- I am aware of all internet traditions.
-When I think about you, I touch myself.
- I'm turning Japanese, I really think so.
The review at 57 is fantastic, and completely devastating. What a wonderful thing it is: a review that convinces you utterly that not reading a certain book is the wiser course!
- I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.
- I got a girl name of Boney Maroney.
-I believe in Crystal Gayle, 'cause I believe in me.
- I was a god - the god of cake - and I was unstoppable.
- I got a little boy to look after. And if I died then my child would be a bastard.
107: I have his autograph on a cocktail napkin -- he compliments me on the spelling of my name.
I wrote the Port Huron Statement. The original one, not the compromised second draft.
-I could never take the place of your man.
- I've been to Paradise, but I've never been to me.
I've been all over the world, from Hartford to Back Bay.
- I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
Your sister gave me diamonds, and I gave them to your wife.
- It's not very easy, living alone. My friends try and tell me, find a man of my own. But each time I try, I just break down and cry.
I never been to heaven, but I been to Oklahoma.
- I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
Should've known better
- I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina.
- I once spent a month in Philadelphia, I believe it was a Sunday.
- I'm a churnin' urn of burnin' funk
Well, I'm a demolition derby (yeah)
A hefty hunk of steaming junk.
I may not know karate, but I know ca-razy.
-I wish they all could be California girls
[Ugh. The baby just dipped his whole grotty hand in my wine.]
heebie can use that, too.
- If I had a rocket launcher, I would not hesitate.
I have seen where the wolf has slept by the silver stream.
-I am a man of constant sorrow
-I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner
I thought I met a man who said he knew a man who knew what was going on. I was mistaken.
-I can't stand up for falling down. Also, I don't want to go to Chelsea.
- I was Brad Pitt's butt-double in "Ocean's Thirteen".
- I pretended you were Jesus; you were just dying to save me. I stood beneath your window with my ukulele. I made my yard a playground just in
case we had a baby... now I'm crazy for you, but not that crazy.
-I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Demille.
- I'm Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
-and I'm waiting for you to follow me
I am not a number. I am a free man.
-I am not an animal. I am a human being.
I could dissect a koala but not its baby.
- I try to say goodbye but I choke, walk away but I stumble.
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!
It's great how you get such quick expert responses on this blog.
- I don't know why my phone thinks "answerer" should be capitalized.
- I'm going to be a Mentat when I grow up.
- I'll be in the way LizardBreath comments when she's mad.
- I am lying on the couch, drinking wine and reading a book recommended to me by snarkout.
- I am an American, Chicago born--Chicago, that somber city--and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent.
- I know a bit about biology. A little more about psychology. I'm a little gem in geology. But I don't know enough about you.
I've been to Louisville, Nashville, Knoxville, Ombabaka, Schefferville, Jacksonville, Waterville, Costa Rica, Pittsfield, Springfield, Bakersfield, Shreveport, Hackensack, Cadillac, Fond du Lac, Davenport, Idaho, Jellico, Argentina, Diamantina, Pasadena, Catalina; see what I mean-a?
- I never wanted to do this for a living. I always wanted to be... a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the rivers of British Columbia... the Larch... the Redwood... the mighty Scotch Pine!
- I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.
- My father's family name being Pokey, and my Christian name Hokey, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than HoPo. So, I called myself HoPo, and came to be called HoPo.
- I'm just a poor boy; I need no sympathy, because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low.
- If you should die, I may feel slightly sad, but I won't cry.
- I have squandered my resistance on a pocketful of mumbles; such are promises.
282 was me
-I founded a religion on a bar bet. And they were all so sure greedo would shoot first...
- I didn't see any of this coming. And yet, here we are.
- I'm never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
-I rode in on a greyhound. I'll be walking out if I go.
- I put my hand so deep in my pocket, I found some lint, some burnt matches, and a couple of ticket stubs.
- I-I-I wanna be a lifeguard. I-I-I wanna guard your life.
- It's time you knew the cold, soft facts of me. Ever since Principal Fontana found me and commenced to bless my mail slot, monthly, with the Eastern Valley High School Alumni Newsletter, I've been meaning to write my update. Sad to say, vanity slowed my hand. Let a fever for the truth speed it now. Let me stand on the rooftop of my reckoning and shout naught but the indisputable: I did not pan out.
- Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
- I got my first real six-string, bought it at the five and dime, played it 'til my fingers bled.
- I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. When I was thrown out, my mother, who was an emotionally high-strung woman, locked herself in the bathroom and took an overdose of Mah-Jongg tiles. I was depressed at that time. I was in analysis. I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
293: I'm living for the day that I can take that passage down from the "About you" space on my FB profile.
- No-one could have predicted my recent bender and the resulting assault charges, but it's clear that my next six months in Alcoholics Anonymous -- which will determine the prospects for my long-term sobriety -- are the most important six months in my personal health regimen in a long, long time.
297: Doesn't it take place basically where you grew up? (I forget which side of the river you were on.)
I grew up on the PA side but yeah, it felt familiar.
(The Eastern Valley Catamounts don't exist, but Lipsyte himself grew up in Bergen Co., closer to NYC than my Jersey.)
301: For some reason, I took it to be the Lehigh Valley -- but aha, he is more from my end of things.
- I love a man who cut off a foot of his hair and buried it.
I don't speak German, but I can if you like.
-I chopped down the cherry tree, father.
Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming down the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road met a nicens little me.
- I am invincible. I have no fear. I am benevolent. I am the king of beer.
-I am thirty-two flavors and then some.
-I dialed '0' for the operator, but got ground zero instead.
- I am the Ayatollah of rye and cola.
-I am a lineman for the county.
- Buying bread from a man in Brussels—he was six foot four and full of muscle—I said, "Do you speak-a my language?" He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.
I was compelled to post 260 while browsing in Myop/c Books on the way to the V/olet Hour. Nostalgia, hooray!
You couldn't possibly be nostalgic for the V/olet Hour.
Pedantic but true, I guess. I'm nostalgic for the city in general, and for time spent with friends who I also went there with four years ago or so.
324: Halford ruined that poor flute player's life.
- For a third of a century, I got by nicely without Detroit.
- I prefer boysenberry more than any ordinary jam.
(I was wondering whether there'd be significant overlap between this thread and Holbo's CT thread about training his 10-year-old to BALB. But it seems not.)
Despite the considerable overlap in their readership/commentariat, Unfogged and CT are fundamentally very different places.
- I learned good morals and the governance of my temper from my grandfather, Verus.
- I wear my gun outside my pants for all the honest world to feel.
332. OK We now have Marcus Aurelius on both threads (333 here). I know unfogged and CT are chalk and cheese; I was just curious how that distinction would hold up when hey were playing very similar games.
I am the ayatollah of rock and rolla.
- I don't want no teenage queen, I just want my M-14.
- Granted: I'm an inmate in a mental institution; my keeper watches me, scarcely lets me out of sight, for there's a peephole in the door, and my keeper's eye is the shade of brown that can't see through blue-eyed types like me.
- As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.
336 Beat me to it. I heard Handsome Dick Manitoba say that at the first Dictators reunion concert back in the 80s. Awesome show.
I could be the catalyst that sparks the revolution
I could be an inmate in a long-term institution
I could lead to wide extremes, I could do or die
I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch them gallop by
- I am the terror that flaps in the night.
341 and duh, Mad Max 2, but Handsome Dick, the Handsomest man in Rock and Roll followed it up with another funny line rhyming Ghaddafi only I can't recall it now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCTaxGhRC5M
- An imaginative child, my games of make-believe gave my family much entertainment. I have often been told, and seem still to remember, that when I was still in dresses I liked to pretend I was the Kaiser and would persist in this game for hours at a time with the greatest determination.
There's a Myop/c Books other than the one in Providence?
Heebie should definitely use this. Imagine the gossip. "But she was so convincing! On both counts.":
- As a little boy, I showed an abnormal aptitude for mathematics, which I completely lost in my singularly talentless youth. This gift played a horrible part in tussles with quinsy or scarlet fever, when I felt enormous spheres and huge numbers swell relentlessly in my aching brain. A foolish tutor had explained logarithms to me much too early, and I had read (in a British publication, the Boy's Own Paper, I believe) about a certain Hindu calculator who in exactly two seconds could find the seventeenth root of, say, 3529471145760275132301897342055866171392 (I am not sure I have got this right; anyway the root was 212).
I killed a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
(I was wondering whether there'd be significant overlap between this thread and Holbo's CT thread about training his 10-year-old to BALB. But it seems not.)
But they aren't all that similar (the point of the threads) at all, right? The CT one was about snappy retorts, I thought.
I am a wind in the sea
I am a sea-wave upon the land
I am the sound of the sea
I am a stag of seven combats
I am a hawk upon a cliff
I am a tear-drop of the sun
I am a gentle herb
I am a boar on the rampage
I am a salmon in a pool
I am a lake in a plain
I am the defiant word
I am a spear on attack (pouring forth combat)
I am a god who fires your mind
Who explains the stones of the mountains?
Who invokes the ages of the moon?
Where lies the setting of the sun?
The CT bloggers certainly seem to be eating their comedic Wheaties in the last couple of days: Healy's Robert Caro post, quite possibly the best and funniest Belle Waring post ever (the post script conversation with her daughter puts it over the top, I think), John Holbo imparting snappy classic philosopher comebacks to the offspring... it's good to see.
- I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.
- I caught this morning morning's minion, kingdom of daylight's dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn falcon, in his riding of the rolling level underneath him steady air.
- I am the wind beneath your wings.
Roadkill, roadkill,
That's what I turned out to be
Roadkill, roadkill,
That's what became of me.
- I am the king of Boggle, there is none higher, I gets eleven points on the word "quagmire".
- All I need is a ten and a fiver, car and a key and a sober driver.
166: -I killed Yvette. I hated her...so much...it...it...flame...flames...flames...on the side of my face...breathing...breathless...heaving breaths...
353: Those are great. Thanks for pointing them out -- I don't read CT much.
- I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis
- I am a murdering bastard. And there are consequences for breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.
- I have nothing to say but don't quote me.
- [I] spit miraculous shit
Drink Dracula's blood
Exist for centuries
My DNA 'ventually mends wounds, heals injuries
The identity unknown for obvious extremities
Heebie the assassin who was hired to kill Kennedy
The murder of Malcolm X my only aborted assignment
Reduce my molecules and pass through solid confinement
The eclectic, collectively indivisible
Please! You're fuckin' with the wrong individual!