Heroic quantities of cocaine, Mr Rockstar.
I thought deviated septums (septi?) only happened to young women with rich parents and larger noses than the current fashion.
Or people who used tons of cocaine, per comment 1.
I had a friend who wore a hole in his septum from too much cocaine. It made a funny whistling sound. I think he got it fixed. Now he [ really funny facts about his current job omitted because I couldn't figure out how to anonymize ].
Derrick Williams (NBA rookie who was the #2 draft pick last year) recently had septum surgery.
He also underwent May surgery to repair his septum and correct a breathing problem that he knew he had but never realized how much it might have affected him.
This is why your mother told you never to let people fuck you in the nose. But did you listen? Nooooo, you had to be all "I'm an adult now, and I can do whatever I want." Only now do you realize that mom was right.
I had a friend who wore a hole in his septum from too much cocaine. It made a funny whistling sound. I think he got it fixed. Now he [ really funny facts about his current job omitted because I couldn't figure out how to anonymize ].
President of a large North American country, eh?
It isn't like you had a deviant septum. Just a little wayward.
This is why your mother told you never to let people fuck you in the nose.
Well I am just a modern guy / Of course I've had it in the ear before
Don't let an otolaryngologist operate on your septum! Those guys only know about ears and throats. Find an otorhinolaryngologist.
Odds are good that they'll use cocaine during the surgery.
s/b put cocaine up your nose.
Why don't we pronounce it like caffe-ine, morphine, and other ines? Cocäine.
(Hmm. Maybe other English dialects do?)
At the risk of wildly oversharing, I learned recently that I'm in possession of a deviated septum.
If this is over-sharing, then the post I had planned for tomorrow (about a procedure I will have had) is downright perverted.
14: I had no idea *that* could be deviated.
I have a deviated septum. Never fixed. Might have been a good idea. Do not believe it was injury-related.
Jeez, Stan, don't you remember that fight on the Orient Express with the guy from SMERSH? "Grant", his name was. You've forgotten Rosa Klebb too?
Why don't we pronounce it like caffe-ine, morphine, and other ines? Cocäine.
Diphthongization. Caffeine isn't pronounced caféïne either.
I do, though, wish we could have a standard pronunciation for the suffix at least when it has its chemical meaning - saccharine, iodine, morphine.
13: I think most Americans say "co-cane." The French say co-cah-ine, though.
Now he [ really funny facts about his current job omitted because I couldn't figure out how to anonymize ]. semi-retired after starting a war in Iraq?
The op's no biggie. I had a deviated septum for years, which meant I could breathe only through one nostril.
Looking back, the most likely culprit was a collision between my nose and a gym bench when I was about 10 thanks to a rather misjudged slide in a game of British Bulldogs.
The only thing I'd note is that while the stitches heal you have to wear gauze pads under your nose for a week or so, so public engagements are counterrecommended.
I broke my nose again recently because, you know, stuff, like how I do. I think the mysterious answer there is just that after I got that first big whack from a bad guy who was bugging because he took too much crystal meth (or conceivably because he smoked too much crack, but he seemed like more of an asshole). but of course you could also tell them you snorted a lot of heroin.
The French say co-cah-ine, though.
Germans too. And they have a verb for doing cocaine, koksen.
I started to say "My sex life is really good, but THREE HOURS?!" and then I started trying to recall if I had ever had sex for hours and hours and suddenly remembered a really great night of my debauched youth in gratifying detail. Thanks, thread! A la recherche du humps perdu!
24: glad to help, but that particular property of cocaine is pretty well known.
Cocäine.
Eh, would ruïn a perfectly good Cole Porter song.
Now I am certain I have a deviated septum! I, uh, snore a tiny bit.
But would not affect the value of that cheeseball Clapton song.
ITS A PERFECTLY GOOD SONG I CANT HELP THAT CHEESEBALL CLAPTON
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Wait, it is creepy that Jeff and Zipper are leering at Alex's honeymoon pictures, right? Because Jeff is her uncle? Why is he suggesting that he could have been the one to marry her?
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No one wants to explain today's strip to me.
Shoot. I have to go home to let the puppy out, then come back to an all-afternoon meeting with no internet. I may have to wait hours to get an explanation of why Jeff is saying he could have been his niece's groom.
This is not the kind of gratification I have come to expect from the internet.
His half-niece: Rick Redfern is his father, but not her grandfather. I think you can marry your half-uncle. It's still a little weird by our standards, but he's written as a clueless jerk, and she's a woman about his age.
But wouldn't he still perceive her as family? Maybe they have more of a cousin relationship because of their ages, but I would think the sense of 'family too close to marry' would predominate.
You can marry your first cousin in most states. Maybe all of them. It's unconventional in post WWII America, but that hasn't been a blanket incest taboo most places and times. And Jeff's kind of a pig.
I don't think there's anything real to explain here.
You can only marry your first cousin in one state, but if you are of the right genders, the marriage will be recognized in all states.
This page says 19 states it's fine, six with restrictions, twenty-five no, which is fewer than I'd thought, but more than one.
I was making a bad joke about a single couple not being able to get married in multiple states.
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Nothing that's exactly surprising here, but it's interesting to see the numbers laid out.
Larry Lessig [writes], ".01 percent give more than $10,000 in any election cycle. And .000063 percent -- 196 Americans -- have given more than 80 percent of the super-PAC money spent in the presidential elections so far."
Paul Begala [writes], "Four percent of the presidential vote in Virginia, Florida, Ohio, Iowa, New Mexico and Colorado is 916,643 people. That's it. The American president will be selected by fewer than half the number of people who paid to get into a Houston Astros home game last year -- and my beloved Astros sucked last year; they were the worst team in baseball."
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43: I agree--not very surprising, but an effective way of highlighting just how ridiculous our current system is.
Of course, this is just further evidence of the superiority of my own wacky scheme, but I'm sure you all already knew that.
OT etiquette question: I was recently promoted at work, and in relation to that and some other events, my boss said to me "I'm taking you out to lunch. Is Wednesday good?" And I said yes. She picked a niceish restaurant -- not spectacular, but tablecloths, and not terribly cheap.
And we ate, and chatted about stuff, and the check came. And it sat on the table for what I found a really uncomfortable amount of time -- to the point where I really wanted to grab it and pay, or talk about splitting it, but it seemed too weird, given the circumstances of the lunch invitation. So I just sat there and continued to chat, and figured she was eventually going to pay it.
She eventually did, but I wanted to check -- was I being weird there? If any of you had a post-promotion invitation to a nice restaurant lunch from a boss, would you offer to split the check, or would you do what I did and assume to the point of discomfort that the lunch invitation meant that she intended to buy me lunch? (If she'd picked it up and started making noises like "You had the this, and I had the that," I would have had my wallet out in a flash in order to split it. But it just seemed too weird for me to make the first move toward the check.)
45: You weren't being weird. Someone says "I'm taking you out to lunch", they're offering to pay.
My boyfriend, who is of the Italian and Armenian persuasion(s) and very blessed in the nasal department, had a severe deviated septum for awhile and could also only breathe out of one nostril. He had to get it fixed surgically, and he said that as he was going under, the doctor told him "I might as well shave a little off while I'm in there, no?" Not what you want to hear as you are passing out under a man with a scalpel near your face. This was in LA, of course.
45
What Josh said. Also, she is your boss, and presumably promoted you. Hierarchy + occasion (celebration for you) + phrasing would make it extremely odd indeed for any other situation to be plausible. Not mentioning it was probably the easiest to do, because if you start to offer to pay/split, then that also gets weird and is kind of a loss of face for her.
That's good. I was completely sure that she was paying, but the check just sat there on the table for so long that I lost my confidence in anything.