If I could take a year or two off? Learn a language or two, get really good at jazz guitar, do a couple of long term photo projects, and write a pop philosophy of science book. Not necessarily in that order.
I don't think grad students get sabbaticals.
But anyhow, yeah, given that my current job is defined by a flexible schedule and the mandate to do self-directed research, what the fuck would I do with a sabbatical? Make money, I guess?
I'm assuming heebie means, 'what would you do if you have some _paid_ time off, without the need to do your current job [or research or whatever]?'
Yeah, I realize. But the question "what would you do with your current income but the flexibility to do whatever you want?" is somewhat moot for me, as I've already made the choice to take a fat cut in income in order to do what I want.
Which makes me a really helpful participant in this thread!
Okay I uh I would get super into origami and then start an origami punk band where all the instruments were origami and we wore origami clothes and we would sing songs about math and then have a cool stage show with fireballs and oh good the flammable paper what a disaster.
Learn a bunch of math, improve on or pick up a language or two (human and programming). Maybe take a whack at doing a tech start-up? Should fail just in time for me to come back to academia chastened and knowing I'm there for good, and should be grateful for it.
Some kind of entertaining volunteer work -- maybe Habitat for Humanity. I really like making things and messing around with tools and stuff, but I'm very inhibited about not knowing what I'm doing. A year where I could pick up some basic carpentry/plumbing/wiring sounds like lots of fun.
Maybe learn Spanish? Spend more time working out?
Reading, sewing, knitting, maybe take naps sometimes, write a lot. I guess I should say "work out" like LB did or else I'm pointing out how clearly it's a lie that I don't work out now because I'm too busy with kids.
and write a pop philosophy of science book
+ up.
I was about to say "write a novel" but then remembered that I have already started on that one as a result of a drunken bet.
re: 10
Me, too. Although not as a bet. So far, less than one chapter in, and stalled. Still, that's more pages than my pop science book, which needs a pithy Gladwellian title.
11: Proust was a philosopher of science
I don't think you all are understanding what heebie wants from us. She needs help writing her sabbatical application, so she needs to come up with plausible high-minded activities that will sound good to the deans and department heads. I'm sure she doesn't need us to tell her fun ways to goof off.
She could say she'll use her sabbatical to learn more mathy stuff.
11: POP! Why science is even more explosive than you think it is
She'll use her sabbatical to write a popular math book aimed at teenagers, which will ultimately increase the number of math majors in the U.S.
Isn't the whole idea of the sabbatical that it's productive to let the fields lie fallow once in a while? If you have to promise to do a bunch of work-related crap, what's the point, other than getting out of the office? Never mind, answered my own question.
'I intend to learn more about $area_of_maths_I_don't_currently_work_in as I have reason [see appendices 1 through 9] to believe that $area_of_maths_I_don't_currently_work_in may be crucial to understanding $fuck_off_huge_problem_that_we_all_give_a_shit_about, when properly combined with insights from $heebie_speciality ...'
Then some stuff about needing to travel and learn at the feet of the Wudang masters, etc.
17 is excellent.
Or I could go with: 'Bacon!'
Isn't the whole idea of the sabbatical that it's productive to let the fields lie fallow once in a while?
I think this was the original idea, and then it shifted to being time to work on projects (i.e., publications) without your everyday work duties, and for pre-tenure professors, time to frantically finish a shitty draft of the first of those two books you need for tenure, which you haven't been able to get to while teaching your 4-4 load.
Is sabbatical a regular thing for any other non-academic professions? I have heard of it for people in ministry, though have never myself known a minister who took one.
The amount of time my institution grants for sabbaticals certainly seems to indicate that they're thought of as "time to get caught up on the excess work that's been piling up while you were teaching" as opposed to "time to follow your intellectual bliss".
My work offers unpaid sabbaticals, but I suppose that's sort of academic. My job is classed as 'Academic-related', so I suppose the sabbatical arrangements are governed by similar contract provisions.
I'd probably spend a lot of time fucking around on the internet.
My work offers unpaid sabbaticals
Not to bring everything back to US/UK linguistic differences, but here we call that a "layoff" and it offered by many employers.
I also might try to see 30 movies in 30 days. That's what my brother-in-law did when he was riding out a severance package.
Build a rocket. Or a robot. Something beginning with 'r' would be built by me.
here we call that a "layoff" and it offered by many employers
"Furlough" might be closer, given that you're not actually losing your job.
You don't get a pre tenure sabbatical on a 4/4 load. You get to hear about other people's sabbaticals that they used like vacations while you taught and published.
I missed the sabbatical deadline this year, which is the first year I might have applied for one. I have misplaced guilt about applying for one. Or rather, this hoarder impulse that I ought to save it in case I really need it. But you can apply again after another 6 years, and plenty of people go on sabbatical like clockwork.
You don't get a pre tenure sabbatical at any place I'm aware of, as far as I know?
Not necessarily sabbatical qua sabbatical, but some R1 institutions have things in place pre-tenure so that you can get out of teaching for a year and just work on your publications.
1,6,10 pretty much cover it for me: write novel, learn more math, languages, music. Probably some physical exercise too.
If I actually had a sabbatical, I'd probably use it to try to transition to doing research in a different field.
In the cases I'm familiar with, some other institution usually has to pick up half or more of the salary.
I wrote in a vacation memorandum that I was off to hunt down the surviving members of the Lovin' Spoonful, but my secretary made me change it.
5:we would sing songs about math
My local math-rock punk band, let me show you it!
(I was even at this show! It was a benefit for my friends.)
A childless R1 friend of mine super resents the fact that at her school, both men and women get one full year off teaching for having a baby, which gets (obviously) used as a way to stack your tenure package, as opposed to stepping off the hamster wheel for a year. She particularly resents the husbands, who she believes are exploiting the time off more than their wives.
I'm very torn. On the one hand, I'd like to live in a world which is set up so that caretakers can step off the hamster wheel when they have a kid. OTOH, I believe her fully that that is not what is happening - it's an advantage available to pre-tenured coupled people who want a kid, and not others.
38: Likewise. The fusion research is necrotic, especially the non-tokamak areas. I'd probably try to transition into aerospace (plasma thrusters and the like). I am sort-of trying that actually, but without the benefit of a sabbatical.
39: Maybe the cases I'm thinking about are actually grant buyouts.
24: I am aware of a minister at a very wealthy church who takes an "annual sabbatical", a phrase which my father found absolutely hilarious.
You don't get a pre tenure sabbatical at any place I'm aware of, as far as I know?
In the humanities I'm pretty sure you do at your current institution. Maybe it's called something else, per heebie's 36. It was a semester, not a year, in my graduate department.
We get one semester of pre-tenure teaching release, where you're supposed to stay in town and keep up with your advising/departmental responsibilities. Other kinds of leave would only come from grants and/or arrangements for visiting another institution that buys out your salary.
42: You know, there's really not a lot of evidence that people secretly use parental leave to do a ton of research, and given that the alternative is "our institution follows FMLA, aren't we awesome!", I know which I'd prefer.
And not having any flexibility pre-tenure means women end up having to decide between having any kids and keeping up with tenure demands. Not as much of an issue for the guys. (They have to make men take it, however, because otherwise women won't.)
In the humanities I'm pretty sure you do at your current institution.
Interesting. I'm pretty sure my department chair would balk if I asked for time off. (Although that was the initial reaction when I asked not to teach this semester, and yet here I am, not teaching.) Most other places I interviewed or had offers had some kind of mechanism for one semester of teaching relief, I think.
I guess in the humanities, or any field where people write books, there's an easier case to be made for one big chunk of time off to finish something.
You know, there's really not a lot of evidence that people secretly use parental leave to do a ton of research
Is there any evidence either way? She is certainly under the belief that in her institution, it's being heavily exploited (again, by men more than women).
If I actually had a sabbatical, I'd probably use it to try to transition to doing research in a different field.
What field?
She particularly resents the husbands, who she believes are exploiting the time off more than their wives.
I have seen this in more than one instance. 'Oh look, Guyprofessor is returning from paternity leave and he has a new book out.' Really not something you see with female professors returning from maternity leave.
I think it's Helpy-Chalk's arguments that led me to agree that the tenure system should be ditched altogether. Certainly I don't see an easy way of resolving the parental leave problem.
Yale has not one, but two, years of pre-tenure sabbatical. One as an assistant professor and one after promotion to associate professor (which at Yale does not come with tenure, because they're crazy).
I have a friend who took a two month sabbatical as an engineer. I'm not sure if it was paid or not though.
re: 51
Philosophy of science! He can read my book.
Work on my novel, maybe, but then again maybe not, considering how little time I've put into it lately (I've been busy lately, what with buying a house and all that, but I certainly could have put a few hours into it if I wanted to.) There are a lot of other things I'd kind of like to do, like learning Spanish or Arabic, but those desires are even vaguer than that for the novel.
So I don't have any goals in mind big enough to need a sabbatical, but I've often thought it would be nice to have a staycation or whatever you'd call it, a long vacation where you don't go anywhere. Catch up on housework, maybe a day-long trip not too far from home, the kind of thing I wouldn't get around to on a normal weekend...
24: Cartoonists. At least the really popular syndicated ones.
the kind of thing I wouldn't get around to on a normal weekend...
Monday is Columbus Day, if you get that off.
50: I'm sure that's her impression. Lots of students are under the impression that having tenure means you don't do anything but teach badly, but that's not been borne out by studies, either.
I'll admit to being less than sympathetic to someone on a 1/2 load that whines about how hard it is to get research done while teaching, but maternity leave is a good thing for her, even if she doesn't take it, because it significantly increases the likelihood that she'll have female colleagues post-tenure.
I may get a course release pre-tenure, but one of my senior colleagues is deciding to be an asshole about it, because I "should be doing research anyway", which I am, so I'm not sure what crawled up his butt.
I'm sure that's her impression. Lots of students are under the impression that having tenure means you don't do anything but teach badly, but that's not been borne out by studies, either.
Which is really apt, because she's actually a whiny 19 year old whose tenure app is due this June.
which at Yale does not come with tenure, because they're crazy
A craziness that is not unique to them.
A young professor I know whose wife recently had a baby got his tenure clock extended because of it, but I don't think he actually stopped teaching at any point, and his research didn't slow down. But, you know, anecdata.
A young professor I know whose wife recently had a baby got his tenure clock extended because of it
Things like this go both ways, though, too -- it's not like the tenure committee won't also be looking at his materials and saying things like "now, of course this covers six and a half years instead of five and a half years" or whatever.
46: Yeah, everyone at CA's decidedly non-rich SLAC gets a semester of pre-tenure sabbatical.
HG, I'm sure you can propose some arcane math-y thing (using the superb template in 21) and tie it to very hush-hush national security uses, so if/when you don't make much progress, you can't really discuss it with anyone anyhow.
Or propose to organize a conference that morphs into the Unfogged-Party-of-teh-Decade. Perfect timing.
We're all very cross-disciplinary.
My old law firm had sabbaticals. I think it was 6 months for partners and 2 or 3 months for staff and non-partner lawyers. You didn't have to do anything productive. But they were phasing it out, like everything else good about that firm.
Is sabbatical a regular thing for any other non-academic professions?
It's not uncommon for hardware companies (EE) to have sabbaticals, because it's standard policy at Intel, and other companies want to lure folks away from Intel.
I've been at my company long enough to take a sabbatical, but I already use so little vacation that I have over a month of vacation piled up, so what am I going to do with a sabbatical? It's not like anyone would stop me from taking a few months off, but there's so much shit that needs to get done. Blah.
Unfogged-Party-of-teh-Decade
Oh, hey, I know this has been asked before, but was there a final (or tentative) decision made about whether this would happen or not? My recollection is that if it happens the date would be Memorial Day 2013, but I'm not sure about that.
My (large, famous) company used to have sabbaticals (I think it was unpaid leave, but with benefits in place) for sufficiently senior people, but they've been phased out. Rumor has it that they were mostly being abused as time off before quitting to go to another job.
70: Same thing happened at the large (former(?)) competitor of your employer I used to work at, for the same reason.
42: Childless friend should have a fake baby. This would be easier if people didn't come up and touch pregnant women's bellies without asking.
but was there a final (or tentative) decision made about whether this would happen or not? My recollection is that if it happens the date would be Memorial Day 2013,
This is still the plan. Things are now slightly dicey for me personally to attend, but nothing has been revised.
If I had a sabbatical, I'd use it to find a job.
73: You're giving birth that day, right? That's perfect! I know how to boil water!
Build a house.
Optimally a timber frame, or rammed earth, or something else distinct from modern stick-building (partly because cooler, but also because I pretty much know how to do the latter; there would only be a few steps that would be truly novel).
My second choice would be drawing, but I have my doubts about that, because drawing class was painful when I was in school. For an architect, I'm a terrible drawer. For a civilian, I'm not a good drawer.
Interestingly, I sometimes fantisize about using a sabbatical to study math, or the history of math, as a part of reviving my dissertation project on mathematical knowledge. I'm probably never going to do that, though. Maybe heebie could do it for me.
For their joint sabbatical, H-G could teach H-C math!
The upside for H-G, of course, being that she'd have a student whose political ideas weren't completely stupid.
Now I want to build a rammed-earth house. That would be cool.
60: That came out snottier than I intended, but it turns out that even professors at R1s are not immune to inaccurate judgments based on their own personal experience that really aren't borne out by the evidence. (E.g., "I can't get a job in philosophy because I'm a white man and all these women and minorities are getting advantages." Reality: white men still overrepresented!)
I don't think these policies have been in place long enough to prove that they're being abused by people having babies to steal more research time (and what rfts says is true, too -- and I bet that can count against some people, too), and I rather suspect it's not the case (largely because women still believe it's career suicide to have a kid pre-tenure.)
I misread 76.1 as "build a horse", which goes nicely with togolosh's rabbit construction project.
If it can be anything, along the lines of "sleep in", I'd (sleep in and) maybe try to write fiction. This is embarrassing both because it's a cliche and because why then am I not doing it now? I almost went presidential!
If it's supposed to be something relevant to work I'd somehow get myself somewhere hispanohablante and work on hablanting hispanol. Maybe I'd do that anyway.
I actually did apply for leave to go get an MPA but...yeah.
I'd probably bring back Snarkout.org, because I think the world is crying out for 3500-word essays on Elmer McCurdy or the origins of the name "Boris Karloff".
I'd also like to improve my knife skills so I could run away and join the circus finely dice an onion without taking forever or worrying that I'd cut my thumb off.
Oh, yeah. Terribly cliched, but some serious cooking instruction might be nice -- I like food, but I'm slow at a lot of things which it would be convenient to be fast at.
...and then a bunch of people said "write" and I felt like I had accidentally been insulting instead of merely self-deprecating.
I've thought in the past about writing a sequence of "Lovers' Dialogues," philosophical dialogues that all occur pre- post- or mid-coitus. I also want them illustrated in comic book form.
My idea for a chamber opera based on Night of the Living Dead, written for film, shot in black and white, with a string quintet (including bass) for instrumentation, is now old hat.
I also want to write a comic book to be called Star Trek: Humanism, a meditation on humanist and post-humanist themes using Star Trek fan fiction as a medium.
One thing I defintely want to do is take away the magic technologies that make Star Trek utopianism so easy. I especially want to remove the rarely mentioned, always relied on universal translator.
Really what this means is that I want to learn to draw. So for my sabbatical either Heebie can teach me math or someone else (mcmc?) can teach me to draw.
89: Why can't you just go write porn like normal people instead of adding all of this stuff to it.
90: http://unbored.net/gary-panters-drawing-tips/
Actually, this is just more proof that people who know how to draw don't have any understanding of what it is like not to know how to draw.
When I was learning to draw as a kid there were two books I found reasonably helpful. For very different reasons. I assume both are now fairly dated (again, for very different reasons).
I am so staying home tomorrow. Losing my voice + I hate everyone = no fucking contest.
pre- post- or mid-coitus. I also want them illustrated in comic book form.
So, a series of philosophical Tijuana bibles?
So, a series of philosophical Tijuana bibles?
New mouseover?
95: Exactly. Because I can't be satisfied writing regular porn.
Actually, this is just more proof that people who know how to draw don't have any understanding of what it is like not to know how to draw.
As someone who does know how to draw, but not as well as I should, however, I find those sketchbook suggestions super motivating!
I've thought in the past about writing a sequence of "Lovers' Dialogues," philosophical dialogues that all occur pre- post- or mid-coitus. I also want them illustrated in comic book form.
If you need illustrations just change the words in Chris Muir's right-wing comic strips.
I've been googling and now I want to build a rammed earth house also. Mostly so I have a reason for ramming shit, but also because of the earth and whatever.
I really liked Andrew Loomis' books about how to draw. I would spend more time following the clearly outlined modes for improving with practice if I didn't procrastinate.
Free downloads of his nice books from the 1940s
Actually, drawing pictures of people having sex is something I'm rather skilled at. Unless you want to repurpose the Chris Muir cartoons for irony's sake.
Now you see that you have some kind of ability to typify the objects in your world and that in some sense you can draw anything
This is the end of Panter's first step.
I've done this kind of thing countless times, and I've always come to a different conclusion -- that in some sense I can draw a few things.
102: How do you get them to not call the cops?
104: what, and get the INS involved? They know better than that.
JM draws porn flipbooks for people with no internet or tv access.
Adding to the list, it'd be nice to build a large format camera and start learning various archaic processes: gum bichromates, argyrotypes, photogravure, etc.
Trepanning, autogyrology, transubstantiation
Whitsunwash, egg phosphate, instagramavage
Selvage, theosophy, psychodynamics
Heh. Callotypes, Humptydumptypes, etc.
They do often have great names:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Photographic_processes_dating_from_the_19th_century
Processes upon processes!
A short list of processes defined as siderotypes is as follows: amphitype, argentotype, argyrotype, aurotype, breath print, Brown Line, chromatic photo, chrysotype, cyanotype, ferrogallic process, kallitype, kelaenotype, Nakahara's process, palladiotype, pellet print, Phipson's process, platinotype, printout platinum, satista print, sepia platinotype, sepiatype and vandyke.
I'd love to the the long list.
re: 115
I know. It seems like something someone would make up in a comic novel.
'Yes, we use lavender, dissolved in gin.'
"Then we shake vigorously, top with phlogiston for a little oomph and Bob's your uncle. That'll be seventy-three dollars. Hey, sleeve garters and moustache wax ain't cheap, buddy."
120: that ludicrously hipster cocktail recipe book I got specifically states that sleeve garters and a moustache do not make a bartender.
Sleeve garters can't possibly be that expensive.
123: You can't expect a self-respecting mixologist cough hack choke throttle to make do with just a single pair for all seasons.
re: 120
Setting the phlogiston on fire, naturally, just before serving.
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"Cunt" in general is one of the most common Dutch insults, especially when combined in highly flexible ways with whatever it being insulted, from the weather (kutweer) to female superficiality (huppelkut = skipping cunt) to life in general (het leven is kut). So here the incorporation of Moroccans into Dutch society is proceeding not only by way of higher education (which those of Moroccan descent are getting in increasing numbers) but also by way of insult. This is not just any insult, but a very particular one, that puts Moroccans in the same category (dirty cunt) as whores.
|>
Can't remember where we were just talking about the nuclear swear.
You don't get a pre tenure sabbatical on a 4/4 load. You get to hear about other people's sabbaticals that they used like vacations while you taught and published.
I know a guy who's using his pre-tenure sabbatical (from the institution from which I received my most recent degree) to write two novels. This is probably not risky for him, since his fourth (!) academic book is about to come out, from Chicago.
That dude writes way too fast. He should be careful.
Sifu - has anyone told you you're funny? Because you are. And not just because of the half bottle of wine I drank after supper.
Bicusbidism, ha.
Regarding 93, Tweety is kind of the Albrecht Durer* of Draw Something, so these books come highly recommended. With apologies for violating the sanctity of off-blog stupid drawing games nobody is doing anymore.
*Oh, I don't know.
I wish I could say that I would use my pre-tenure sabbatical to catch up on comics but it's way more likely that I would spend it talking about how badly I need to catch up on comics.