Statistically, we're all going to die. Happy New Year, reprobates!
This may be revealing of my pathetic inflexibilty, but I'm having a hard time picturing how one gets up from the ground without at least one knee. Direct transition from ass-on-the-ground to squatting to standing? Because I couldn't have done that when I was ten.
Sitting down, I could do without a knee if I were allowed to hit with a bit of a thump, but standing, I don't think so.
I read this yesterday and spent a frustrating fifteen minutes trying to get up without help from one knee.
I just tried it without a knee or a hand, and I did it by rolling up onto my feet. I guess there was a squat in there on the way up.
The video linked in the article is actually helpful on technique. Or it was for me.
Yeah, I just tried. Getting down no-support is no thing at all -- not even a thump. But there's no obvious way I could get my feet under me from sitting on the ground without a knee. I guess nine out of ten isn't bad.
Actually, moving to a sitting position hurts the edge of my foot and strains my ankles a fair bit. I can do it, but I'm going to practice so I can't die.
The catcher Tony Peña used to have a very funny stance, with his ass on the ground, one leg bent behind him and one out. He probably got up on the bent knee to stand a lot of the time, but when he heeded to he could jump straight up from that position. My sister and cousins and I used to practice jumping up that way. Wikipedia says he played for the Cardinals 1987-89, so I would have been 10 or 11 when I did that.
I needed a knee. You would have to be a 90-pound gymnast to get up without a knee.
I can picture sitting crosslegged and using that bent-knee posture, with a rowing motion of your arms, to get up.
You would have to be a 90-pound gymnast to get up without a knee.
No way. Both Sifu and I could do it like the guy in the video at 1:00, starting with ankles crossed and getting leverage off of them. (Yes, we just had a little session on the living room floor experimenting with standing up. Party game for our NYE gathering!) Couldn't do it without ankles crossed.
The real test should assess one's ability to do that handspring-to-a-standing-position thing that the Rock used to do all the time.
I can sit no problem, need fingertips to get up- my mass is just too far back. My 8 year old schooled me and can't understand why I can't just rock forward over my knees and stand up like he can.
2: An additional 0.5 is subtracted if evaluator perceives and unsteady execution (partial loss of balance) occurring during the action, so my guess is thumping counts against you.
I am doomed.
I tried this and fell backwards, crashing against a chair and hitting the wall behind me. I think there's clearly an elevated mortality risk in this going viral and everyone trying this unsupervised in non-padded surroundings.
Also, like LB, I can't even imagine being able to get up without support. I've seen the video; no fucking way. But then, even sitting cross-legged is uncomfortable for me.
My wife can do it easily too. Good thing I have lots of life insurance.
When all of you are dead Blume and I will write nice poems about you as we sit cross-legged.
The way to do it without crossing your ankles is to do it with only one foot.
Again, I can't do that on flexibility. There's no way I could get one foot under myself (without a knee or a hand) without falling over.
Basically, from a crossed-leg position, extend one leg, WLOG your left, out in front of you, then bring your right leg up so that your knee is still bent as in the cross-legged position but instead of pointing out to your right it points up, with your foot flat on the floor. It now takes only a little oomph to raise yourself such that you're resting on your right foot with your tuchus entirely off the ground, and you can either extend your right leg all the way, to a standing position, as is, or bring your left leg back and crouch on both feet before rising.
This time I almost crashed backwards into my bikes trying to get up as nosflow suggested in 20. I'm going to stop this before I break something. My weight is just too far backwards.
I need a hand on both and probably lose the steadiness penalty on the way up. Knee only does not seem to be an option for me. Wife can do both with no assist but probably gets the -.5 wobbly on standing up.
20: I wonder if that counts as using a support.
Getting up is no problem for me, but sitting just now involved a rather awkward and I'm certain hilarious balance check followed by a thump as I tried it from a low squat which was really not ideal. I'm wondering what physiological thing is being measured: hip flexibility? (my guess) core strength?
20, 21: I am x.trapnel -- I simply can't get my weight forward enough to get up like that. I can count the number of times I've touched my toes with my knees straight in my life, though -- I'm really unusually inflexible in the forward-bending dimension.
23: I think it's a holistic measurement of strength-to-weight and flexibility; not one thing, but a number of things that come together.
24: I could never touch my toes with my knee straight until I started doing Wii yoga.
You can also do it with crossed ankles but without the ankles touching, if that's what Sifu means by "getting leverage off them", you just have to think of one of those extending boxing glove guys.
For the record I am baffled by how nosflow's method is supposed to work.
It now takes only a little oomph to comically tip yourself over while still remaining on the floor.
I can't seem to do any of these without using my hand.
25: Professionally, I've seen the use of chair stands as a similar measure for an older, less healthy group.
It looks kind of like this, but that isn't a very fluid example.
We will all be required to demonstrate our techniques at the upcoming meetups.
31: aha! Yeah I can't do that. I can do it the way the dude does it in the OP video.
I did it. This is by far the most success I've ever had on a test linked here. I failed the marshmallow experiment.
Wtf is wrong with you people. You just put your weight on your feet and stand up.
31: Aha! I was starting with the extended leg flat on the floor, from which I couldn't understand how to get anywhere. I could do it your way on one side - reminds me a little of this thing I've done in yoga where from this pose you bend the weight-bearing leg until you are almost seated, and then stand back up.
31: Looks like a pistol squat. I've tried doing them but don't quite have the strength to pull them off without stabilizing myself on a door frame or something.
38: except for the part where that guy doesn't use his off leg at all.
Wtf is wrong with you people.
I'm lacking in muscular whateverness.
The real test should assess one's ability to do that handspring-to-a-standing-position thing that the Rock used to do all the time.
Is that the thing where you are lying on your back, and then rock back on your shoulders and pop forward on to your feet? They used that move in Buffy all the time. It turns out it is something Gene Kelly did in Singing in the Rain.
This is disturbing. I used to be able to stand up as L describes in 36. I think I lost that sometime in my late forties. I can almost do it, but that isn't close enough. Another step closer to the grave. Happy New Year. Tempus fuckit.
39/40: I meant that the get-up portion of your video looked like a pistol squat. You just stick your off leg straight out in front of you and then push up, right?
Right now what I do is roll over onto my hands and knees, and then put one foot on the floor, and then hoist myself up putting all my weight on that knee. How long have I got, doc?
If you want some real fun, heebie, you should try prenatal Pilates.
Or perhaps I missed the attempted humor.
Looks like a pistol squat. I've tried doing them but don't quite have the strength to pull them off without stabilizing myself on a door frame or something.
That's like the yoga thing I was talking about, except that you hold onto the big toe of your extended leg with the same hand. I think that provides a bit of a brace and makes it easier.
50: she is young, JP. What's funny is she will never die.
It appears you can use momentum to move your center of gravity forward so it's over your feet. I got 10.
How long until insurance companies require this test before giving a quote?
I can get up like a champ. OTOH, I'm reading the internet on new year's eve. I will live a long, dull life.
I am slightly btock style I can stand up unaided HAPPY NEW YEAR. I think 2013 is going to go rather well.
55.last: Until ajay's comment I had not properly understood that the OP title is h-g's 2013 prediction.
I explained this test to my wife. Incredibly annoyingly, she lifted one leg slightly off the ground, sat down perfectly, moved her feet into a slightly pigeon-toed stance, and stood up again (pushing with both feet, thankfully). When I generally WTF'd in her direction she said "I thought you said to do it 'with the minimum support needed' right?"
I (just turned 42) can easily stand up from sitting cross-legged on the floor. Can also do it by putting one foot out to each side. And it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I'm a little drunk. Will I live forever?
I do like to make little grunting noises if I have to bend over to pick anything up though. Although if I am barefoot I can pick small things up with my feet, which minimises the need to bend over.
C can't do either of these things - I have always assumed he will due much younger than me. We were in the supermarket today and there was an old woman in front of us - I said to C that I wouldn't mind living alone, except the shopping looked so sad. He said he thought it looked great. Then I realised that I have never actually lived alone.
I'm guessing based on how long it takes me to get up off the cold stone (I wrote that originally as stone cold) floors at work that I'd fail this test. Completely inflexible is me, though.
Yes, no way that I can get up without putting a hand or a knee out. I take some pleasure in knowing that my insanely fit husband (who generally makes fun of my pathetic attempts to rise from the couch) is no more able to rise without a support than I am.
Although if I am barefoot I can pick small things up with my feet, which minimises the need to bend over.
My wife and most (all?) of my kids can do this. Seeing my wife picking up clothes from the floor that way is actually a bit unsettling.
You folks could probably hear the thump of me sitting all the way from here. Easily up with one hand -- who wants to live forever anyway?
64: Real nice. She's a nudist, you unfeeling monster.
64: She actually has several "flexibility" tricks, like rather effortlessly taking off her bra while not removing her shirt.
62 - yeah, I do it because I saw my mum do it and just copied her. And at some point realised that not everyone does it.
We can all do the bra thing though, can't we?
JP's in a grumpy mood. Must be a middle child thing; they're so insecure.
68.last: Probably to some extent. It's kind of the ease of it* that probably differentiates (maybe also due to some other properties of the bra and/or person as well). YouTube time.
*Like I suspect some no hands/knees folks here would get the .5 awkwardness deduction.
70: Eldest children are so cute when they're wrong.
70: Also, NEED MOR HOLIDAY*.
*Not the kind with family, relatives and all that festive bullshit, but still the not working at work** kind.
**True fact. I typo'ed my place of work for "Also"! (And it's not all that close. Pathetic.)
72 - not wrong! Never!
My dad (and thence my brother too), if I ever did get anything wrong, would chant "asilon made a mista-ake, asilon made a mista-ake". *stab stab stab*
These days, I am quite good at seeming good-natured about getting things wrong, and can at least pretend to laugh at myself.
Huh. What I lack in flexibility I apparently make up for in leg strength. I did OK.
This is much more fun than the other thread.
Okay, this time I got up without supports by the crossed-ankles method. I probably lost a half point for undignified lunging, though.
And yet in other contexts undignified lunging is preferable.
I'm sure your lungs are adequately dignified.
I'm getting gradually worse at it over the course of the evening.
Nosflow should be banned. Or at least no more front page posts. Get on that neb.
I did it once by getting my feet way under me and sort of rolling from my ankles onto my feet. I then tried to repeat it twice and injured myself both times falling into things. Fuck you all and a happy new year.
I then tried to repeat it twice and injured myself both times falling into things
That can't be good for your life expectancy.
Aha! I have figured out the secret to a longer life. If I windmill my arms I can get enough forward momentum to get over my feet and stand up most of the time. Probably still a 4.5 though.
You know, I really like M. Gira's music.
I got super light-headed and had to sit down at a party where everyone is clustering in the kitchen, so I'm camped out by myself during what appears to be a delightful beer-tasting. Good times. At least I can get online.
Somehow reminiscent of having insomnia.
Maybe that's the serial commenting talking, though.
Happy new year, light-headed, serial talker.
Maybe I could go home and send the babysitter home early, and watch netflix in bed while eating candied almonds, and someone could give Jammies a ride home later on.
Maybe that's the candied almonds talking.
Then serially talk, if that will move her;
If you can be light-headed, head lightly for her too,
Till she cry, "Insomniac, serial-talking, light-headed insomniac,
I must have you!"
When did Unfogged get on mountain standard time?
Usually I dispose of such formalities, but it is a fancy night tonight.
You must be lightheaded if you can't tell.
95: When I first read here, it was on plus 12 minutes or something.
I can't tell who I'm hitting on?
Becks style, missing you guys. Happy new year to the unfoggeditariat!
If I were to go home, the babysitter (and her little sister) would probably be driving at midnight, which seems like extra jerky after cutting her off $30 early.
103: Soup!!! You should come around more.
It's still 2012 here. If I hurry, I can get to Idaho while it's still 2012 there. Shouldn't hang on to the past though.
Never mind. Happy new year, all.
Too late! He already faded out.
Let me be the first to wish everyone a happy new year.
Let me be the first to wish everyone a happy new year.
Ahem.
68, 71: Sorry, JP, but it's supereasy unless one is quite inflexible. Don't let that get in the way of your happy new year, though; I'm sure your wife is a very special snowflake in countless other ways.
Happy New Year! (At last.) Lots of people are setting off fireworks here, even though they're totally illegal.
Thanks. I missed a lot of this thread because I was playing dominoes with the Jamaicans. No regrets.
Fist bump! Now I'm just sitting at home drinking rye.
The Jamaicans must have a very fast plane.
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Live dreamblogging:
I just had the weirdest dream. It was all about how I was taking a night school computer science class, for which I was writing a paper, and I needed to use this semi-controversial element of scientific notation that had recently been invented. The symbol represented the sum total of all the information on the internets, analogous to what Gentry refers to as "The Shape" in Mona Lisa Overdrive.
It looked a bit like this:
:Ө:
/ \
Except that, in the dream, it could be represented as one ASCII character. It was called "Nosar", which was an abbreviation of "Number ----sar---", with the second word having around 3 syllables and being some mathematical term that represented something in information theory.
I was working in a financial services office of some kind, and I had to go ask a somewhat Sifu-like character about the proper way to include this in the paper I was writing.
Now back to regularly scheduled sleep.
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I can do the crosslegged method 100% reliably and fast. There's another harder method that I'm not 100% on even when warmed up from yoga, having practiced it awhile (although I did get only 3 hours of sleep last night): roll back a little on your sacrum, balancing with your feet off the ground, and then use momentum to tilt forward unaided into a squat, then lift up from there. But I don't think I'd expect that from anyone but dancers, yogis (e.g. me), crossfitters, etc.
Also I just did a variant of nosflow's method, but it was after many attempts and an observer definitely would have scored me unsteady. My variant involves grasping the extended foot with both hands to get the leverage to pull my weight forward.
I guess I should clarify that I have my extended leg hovering when I put my hands around my foot.
I was able to sit and stand without crossing angles, but a little bit of wobble. So maybe I will die, but surrounded by loved ones and leaving a modest inheritance?
I can sit or stand using one hand for balance and have always used that technique. I don't see any reason to practice others just to satisfy the Death Panel, fuck 'em!
A cow-orker responded to this with a video of his wife sitting and then standing while holding a martini and a small dog. Show-off.
When I was a kid and had enough room to roll backwards, I would occasionally stand up by doing a reverse somersault where I planted my feet on the ground instead of completely rolling over into the same position. I can't currently do that or stand up without some support from my hand or knee.
128: I find rolling into a squat, even a one-legged squat, easier than the two-legged method from the video. Despite watching the video multiple times, I'm completely baffled as to how their method works.
I can't roll myself into a position where my feet are under me without using enough momentum that I'm not stable. With the squat method, your feet are almost under your center before you roll, so you barely need to shift your weight to get your center above your feet.
Huh. I can sit down the crosslegged way they show it, and can get up the same way about half the time, but it's not the most practical way, because it's not modest in a short skirt or possible in a tight one. I've always sat with knees and feet together, and stood up the same way. Also useful: not leaning forward while doing this, to prevent your neckline gapping while people are looking down at you. Would-be roués set one up for these things, it's good to have a strategy. (And then the dowager-equivalents display a faint air of approval from the chairs they snaffled early.)
I would occasionally stand up by doing a reverse somersault where I planted my feet on the ground instead of completely rolling over into the same position.
That's similar to a yoga thing, too! Chakrasana. You do it to downward-facing dog instead of standing all the way up.
