First of all, if you're in love with the divine Ms. Parker, why do you call her "Louse"? That's not a very endearing term of endearment.
And second, given your professions of love, why sigh about her breakup with the unfortunately surnamed Billy? She's back on the market, Bob, go for the rebound!
1. Oops! Corrected. Sorry, MLP!
2. Aw, she'd never go to the prom with a chess-club schlub like me...
I dunno, Bob. Matthew Sweet had a go with Winona Ryder and he practically screams chess-club schlub. All you need is a record contract.
See I think one of the endearing things about our little Louse is that she seems like the type who would go for the chess club schlubs or other cerebral types instead of the jocks. Think Josh Lyman on West Wing. (And he didn't have a record contract either . . .)