It took me forever to realize that admitting I was wrong was okay.
When I was a kid (in my family, at least) to admit you were wrong was to admit you were a loser. Competition among the pack was just too fierce for that. I'm absolutely serious about this -- it was like we thought we would die if we admitted we were wrong about anything, even very trivial things.
I was ridiculously old (30?) before I got over this.
his kid will never, ever ever admit he's wrong about something
I feel his pain on that one. It can be horrible, parenting-wise. My personal nightmares involve my son trying to prove (instead of merely insisting) that he knows more than his parents about traffic.
I mean, it's all fun and games when somebody insists the ball went in the goal or that moose live around the area, but with young kids it can be dangerous.
Both of my kids are fine about this, which is kind of odd because both of their parents aren't so good about it.
We have similar issues with "I'm sorry." Joey treats "I'm sorry" as a get out of jail free card, the way young Heebie did with "I'm wrong." People are mad? Say "I'm sorry" and peopel are happy.
Getting Caroline to say "I'm sorry" on the other hand is like pulling teeth. If forced to say the words, she will mispronounce them. "I'm borry." or "I'm torry." If you get her to pronounce them right, she will still say them in the wrong tone of voice, as if they meant "Fuck you!" or "I will kill you and everyone you hold dear slowly and painfully."
I think this is actually a sign that Caroline really understands what an apology means. In some ways, it is a good sign.
is like pulling teeth
My son also insists on pulling his own teeth, which is ruining my fun on that.
6: I had this with my two boys. At a a quite early age, the eldest one sat in in a "timeout" on our bed for hours refusing to say he was sorry for something (I forget what). To me it was a pretty astonishing show of stubbornness (I was a pathological liar and "sorry"er from an early age and assumed all kids were) and I forget the ultimate resolution (or the trigger); I do not think he ever gave an unconditional "sorry." My youngest was like me-- he'd start in on "I'm sorry" as he was doing the deed.
As a kid I had a really intense commitment to honesty and integrity that made me totally unwilling to say I was wrong if I didn't actually think I was. It caused a lot of problems.
"Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known."
To keep friends, I favor a policy of amnesty in exchange for good faith admissions of fault. I didn't always favor that policy, which was my fault.
Getting Caroline to say "I'm sorry" on the other hand is like pulling teeth. If forced to say the words, she will mispronounce them. "I'm borry." or "I'm torry."
Awesome.
My son also insists on pulling his own teeth
Cassidy lost her first tooth this morning before school, pulled out by her own hand. The tooth fairy has left page-length letters (in many colors of marker) for each of the ones that Noah lost. I recently found out that he has kept all of them in a box and when he's feeling particularly sad about something, he goes to his room and re-reads them. Which is a little heartbreaking, for some reason that I can't quite pin down.
13: What did the tooth fairy write to him? Are the letters instead of cash or in addition to?
The letters come with money and thank him for the lovely teeth and remark on how big he's getting, etc. The going rate appears to be $2/tooth (Inflation! I only got a quarter in the 70s!), but because the kids are kinda oblivious about money, he has usually given one of the dollars to his sister. On the way to the car this morning, she told Noah that she can't wait to share her money with him. Which was very sweet.
15: I only got a quarter too. And the tooth fairy never wrote to me. This breaks my heart.
8: Oh, God, yes, this. One of my most traumatic memories is of my mother trying to force me to admit I had done something wrong (which I actually done, I will admit at this late date). She wasn't one of your liberal time-out parents, though, y'all, so the compelling was done with her fist and a belt. This shit went on for, I kid you not, hours.
I think I was about ten. And I did not crack. She knew I had done it. I knew I had done it. I would not admit it. I remember thinking at one point -- and I'm sure she was thinking at one point -- how far is this going to go? What is she going to do if I won't admit it? I was kind of dizzy and dopey and crazed at that point. And sort of interested in finding out.
In the end, she got me to admit to a lesser crime, and we called it quits.
As a parent, this taught me two valuable lessons: don't use physical violence against your kids; and never draw lines in the sand.
13/15 really are. Also, in the picture of Cassidy throwing the axe yesterday, she looks shockingly like Noah. I had them pegged as taking after you and Roberta, respectively, and they sort of swam together into a single person for me, in that photo.
Can I brag that Hawaii made the necklace for Pokey that he's wearing? She told us all that she made it for him because she loves him. Then she told him to take it off when it was time for her to organize her belongings*, which he would not do. Then they fought and I think she won, and then this morning she sweetly asked him if he'd like to wear it again and he was super excited.
*because Hawaii is not actually a small child in so many ways
A friend at work suggested the idea that the Tooth Fairy, being a globetrotting sort, often has random other currency at hand, so I'm thinking a Swiss franc or euro or something will be fun.
heebie, I hate being a scold, but I've held my tongue as long as I can and now I just have to say that "mindless tidbits" is simply not an acceptable way to refer to your children.
21 is brilliant. And peep, I was referring to Jammies' private parts.
That's probably for the best. I'm at a disadvantage when it comes to parenting.
A friend at work suggested the idea that the Tooth Fairy, being a globetrotting sort, often has random other currency at hand, so I'm thinking a Swiss franc or euro or something a massive heap of 1923 German marks will be fun.
For some reason the image of the globetrotting tooth fairy is making the tooth fairy seem creepy. "A pedophile with a tot in every port."
Not really sure what I'm quoting there.
25:
An arles an arles for my hiring,
O master of singers, an arlespenny!
--Well sung singer, said Apollo,
But in this trade we pay no wages.
I too was once a millionaire
(in Germany during the inflation:
When the train steamed into Holland
I had not enough for a bun.)
The Lady asked the Poet:
Why do you wear your raincoat in the drawing-room?
He answered: Not to show
My arse sticking out of my trousers.
His muse left him for a steady man.
Quaeret in trivio vocationem.
(he is cadging for drinks at the streetcorners.)
A pedophile with his port in every...never mind.
29 -- [story redacted, will tell you in person sometime]
If forced to say the words, she will mispronounce them.
I'm dying to use this at work, mispronouncing things I don't mean. "Mr. Redacted is a bood candidate for rehabilitation and will gefinitely bever use frugs again."
15: You have astonishingly sweet children.
32: Secret judge in secret court just issued secret ruling requiring Halford to reveal redacted story.
34: Are you implying that they couldn't really be his?
33: "Mr. Redacted" would make a great pseud.
33: Au contraire, I think I was chided for choosing a Mister pseud when I started commenting (around the same time as Mister Blandings.)
38: They were all just jealous that they hadn't had the good sense to choose Mister pseuds for themselves.
You have astonishingly sweet children.
They have their moments. I've also been called a "fucking idiot" at full scream.
she looks shockingly like Noah
Oh yeah, nobody wonders whether they're brother and sister. Especially now that they have more or less the same haircut of neglect.
All of your children sound adorable and precocious. And capable of damage, like little dragons.
A friend at work suggested the idea that the Tooth Fairy, being a globetrotting sort, often has random other currency at hand, so I'm thinking a Swiss franc or euro or something will be fun.
We've done this with the Christmas pudding: instead of the normal charms, small-denomination coins from the countries that family members have been to in the last twelve months.
The other use for random other currency is, of course, poker chips. The best kind is Turkish lire or Lao kip or something else with ludicrously high denominations. "I'll see that and raise you two hundred thousand."
No, I've got a load of pre-reform notes...
I've left a Euro before, with a note saying the fairies didn't have any sterling, but they can probably get it changed in a day or two.
I've also got somewhere or other a trillion something note that I bought in the summer and put away for the boy's birthday because I thought he'd be entertained by it - just have to find it again in the next month.
OMG, you guys, I knew Selah was heading for a nap, but when I gave her her pacifier, she just flopped over sideways asleep. That's basically what she does at night too, and it seems to be her style rather than just the stress of moving to a new home. After older children who fight sleep, this is amazing!
Our tooth fairy gives a dollar coin for the first tooth loss (thanks for not being more extravagant, Nia's former foster family!!) and then a quarter after that.
46 Six zeroes? I thought the Polish one where they did a 10,000:1 shift was bad. I kept a few of the smaller ones, e.g. 10K, and 50K for a while, but the one and two million notes were worth too much not to exchange.
If you want to be a mean tooth fairy find some of the old Polish foreign currency store dollars. You'd pay in greenbacks and get a bunch of flimsy multicolored bills ranging from one cent to a hundred bucks IIRC.
49: Very belated congratulations, Thorn! I was away from the internet for a while, so I had to RTFA to figure out who Selah is. Hooray!
