Renderings! Looks like not a single photograph there.
I walk by the offices of the real estate company that is selling this place every day; it has enormous portraits of the Renwick's advertising "characters" in the window. I want to pick up the veiled Marie-Antoinette-a-like and swing her like a Louisville Slugger into the boxer's beard.
What puzzles me is that the architecture is as un-Victorian as anything: my architectural vocabulary is weak, but it's a detail-free glass box.
Another commenter there points out that the apartment's website doesn't say "steampunk" anywhere, although it does say "homage to the Victorian era" despite the wardrobes. (Maybe the PR people are using the word verbally.)
I don't know if a better case for the superiority of LA over New York has ever been made in so short a time period. Would you rather have your rich idiots be pretentious boring pseudo-intellectuals who buy something called a fucking "steampunk condo" or awesome cheesy Iranian real estate developers who throw a goddamn rotating Veyron into the home and build a room with a machine-gun-and-candy-and-tequila dispenser? I know which side I'm on.
5: fortunately the comment about traders who write poems at night is stupid enough by its lonesome.
So these are for people who are horribly boring and conventional but want to think of themselves as creative or original, but don't want something genuinely original because it would make them feel uncomfortable (which they would attribute to something other than the fact that it doesn't look exactly like any other fancy apartment), yeah? You take a bunch of boring upscale-Ikea crap and stick something old in the corner and do a bunch of "these are cool/original/creative apartments for people who aren't The Man like your co-workers are" marketing. The excerpted joke sounds to me like the people making these things (or marketing them, or something) pretty much know exactly this. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they could come up with this idea and market it that way while still being exactly the people involved. ("My apartments aren't for The Man like the ones my co-workers build in the same areas out of the same materials! They're hip! Look at that old thing sitting out in the yard.") But I'm not convinced they aren't just being cheerfully cynical.
The five-story building on the left in the first render looks nice.
7: At least the NY jerks have a smaller carbon footprint.
The costumes look like what would be favored by the French aristocracy in the ancien regime. So is this a subtle nod to the super-rich who view Piketty's description of rising inequality as a blueprint rather than a warning? Subliminal marketing at its finest.
OT: Damn, H.P. Lovecraft. One has to be pretty damned racist to write poetry about how racist one is.
Aesthetically, completely agree with 7. 10.2 also entirely correct, though. Could we persuade the LA Iranian luxe dev community to embrace the vertical? Give LA the phallic skyline it deserves!
12: I first read Lovecraft's work in my mid-to-late-20s and enjoyed it, but yeah, I have to admit that article is fair. No women, no happy families, rarely a particularly clever or complicated plot, just vague menace leading to insanity and death and racism. The best thing you can say about the racism is that it's sometimes unintentionally funny.
As for the East Coast vs. West Coast insane millionaires, I wonder how much of the different style is due to patterns of car ownership and use. You'd need to drive from one end of those LA mansions to another, and you'd certainly need to drive to visit more than one of them in a day. That was my gut reaction when I tried to compare them. "Well, what would I think if I could actually see one of these mansions? Let's say two or three for variety. Well, first, I'd probably be thinking my feet hurt..."
By contrast, it's possible to experience the insanity of eight New Yorkers on foot.
Yeah, Lovecraft was pretty racist even by the standards of his day. His anti-Semitism was apparently a contributor to both his wife leaving and a longtime friend cutting ties.
The Jews took his wife and his friend. Harsh.
16: they know no mercy. like chthonic deities, but kvetchier.
To anyone who isn't constantly consuming methamphetimines, the New York outcome is obviously superior to the LA one. Rich people move to New York to be pretentious. Rich people move to LA to actively destroy everything around them. It's a natural place for Saudi princes, who are the worst people in the world not to be on the payroll of the Bush administration.
I would have expected ridiculously expensive luxury condos marketing themselves as "steampunk" to at least put more effort into mimicking, even on a superficial level, something that could reasonably be described as steampunk. These things just look like bland modern luxury condos (NTTAWWT).
These pictures are much more along the lines of what I would have expected. And the idea that eccentric rich people might want to throw away money on this stuff? Eh. There are worse ways that rich people could throw their away money. Until the revolution comes, rich people will use their money in ways that are silly and wasteful. On a vastly smaller scale, I'd have to admit I do the same thing from time to time.
They didn't even glue any gears to the walls.
Given that apparently they don't use "steampunk" themselves I'm very confused about why Armsmasher used the term.
When did steampunk become mainstream? Is it just this year that it's become something you could expect a random person to have heard of?
It would be hilarious if "steampunk" is now synonymous with "Victorian".
At least five years ago, the "Steampunk" category on Etsy was filled with random whatsits with gears glued on.
random whatsits with gears glued on -- finally a definition of steampunk I can understand!
I think there's some strange, attenuated kind of practicality to the LA rich person's playground. No real human actually needs an infinity pool and a machine gun turret and a car turntable in their private home, but each of them does have some theoretical functional use. If I enjoyed throwing big parties or just want to be prepared for really, really everything, sure, I might as well have the LA mansion. The so-called steampunk places, on the other hand, are probably just a little bit bigger than average for the neighborhood, and are so expensive just because they have marble windowframes and walls padded with kid leather.
I enjoy living in a place where I don't need a car, and no amount of money would make it possible to put the LA mansion that in a place like that. On the other hand, come the apocalypse or if my wife and I have triplets, the NY steampunk condo will be exactly as inadequate for us as a normal place a block away, whereas the LA mansion would make a decent fortress.
21: Did he make up the zeppelins? I'm neither a fashionista nor an architect and I haven't followed the links in that article, but the places in the pictures don't match any other particular style too well either. The developers calling it "steampunk" seems as likely as anything else.
LA was in the new this morning. There was a fire near something called the 101. As that isn't an interstate number, I assume that's a minor road and it didn't cause any problems.
He never said they were good songs or poems.
It's been years. 2010 or 2011 (around july 4, but I can't recall what year) I saw a display of steampunk-labeled stickers and trinkets for sale in a tourist trap ice cream parlor/kitsch shop.
27: You're making a distinction between mostly harmless idiocy and outright evil.
34: Just so we're clear, you're saying that the more practical one is evil?
When did steampunk become mainstream?
For the last few years I've been surprised at the amount of shelf space devoted to steampunk anthologies & etc. in the major chain bookstores. It somehow went from an obscure sub-sub-sub genre of SF to a huge deal while I wasn't looking.
By practical, you mean, "practical in case of the apocalypse"? Because that's not actually practical.
35: Sure. A machine gun is more practical than a magic wand.
Something that actually would make a decent fortress in case of the apocalypse would have some theoretical value, and I can understand why a person with unlimited funds might be attracted to those features. But those LA mansions aren't going to be any better than my house. The infinity pool and the car turntable won't keep you alive or protected for very long. You better have an off-grid power supply. And maybe some green space for growing food. Although I guess within unlimited money and that much space, you could probably retrofit all that fairly easily if you saw the apocalypse coming. Some of them do have high, sturdy walls and guard dogs. Those are useful, in the theoretical sense in which we're currently using the word useful.
The thing is, you don't even have to be ultra-rich to live awesome. A regularly very rich guy can have a house with a 10,000 gallon shark tank, glass-bottomed rooftop pool, home disco, oversized novelty chess set, and hooker hamam.
Are the machine guns lining the wall of the LA mansion real working models? I had assumed they were just decorations.
I thought canonically rich people with Manhattan mansions also had country estates, often reachable via private roads.
The costumes look like what would be favored by the French aristocracy in the ancien regime. So is this a subtle nod to the super-rich who view Piketty's description of rising inequality as a blueprint rather than a warning?
Or a suggestion that people who buy into the marketing deserve the guillotine.
42: If they can't afford a helicopter.
37: You'll never back it as a prepper with that attitude.
Have I ever mentioned our local mayoral candidate who was a prepper who got on the TV. He won the Republican primary and then moved to Israel before the general election.
But if he won and the world didn't end, he was willing to move back.
40: I would say that being able to afford a $6 million house puts you beyond "regularly very rich" but that perhaps just shows how out of touch I am with achievable levels of richness.
10,000 gallons is less than 10'x14'x10'. What sort of pitiful sharks can fit in in a 10,000 gallon tank? I'll tell you--the tiny 2 foot long things that don't even deserve to be called sharks. These are the "sharks" they let the kids pet at the public aquarium. I would be ashamed to tell everyone I had a shark tank and then have them come over and see such little fish. People want to see maneaters. If you're a mogul and you don't have maneaters, then you shouldn't tell everyone you have a shark tank. Just say it's a fish tank. If someone asks, "hey are those little sharks?", then you can say yes, but selling that point just looks desperate.
27: How big do you think machine guns are? You could fit one in your living room. A modest suburban yard could fit an anti-aircraft gun. Nobody needs a 90,000 sq ft gigamansion to hold their armory, unless they install an ICBM silo.
The population of L.A. County is a bit over 10 million. If they're all starving and you have some noms, the fancy mansion isn't going to help much even if designed by a knowledgeable prepper. "Quantity has a quality . . . "
51 -- I've driven by a lot of missile silos, and they don't have that big a footprint. Tough to have one in a NYC apartment, though.
48: I'm sure I have linked this before, but it's worth another link. I walked past his house every day and he had a camouflage-spray-painted van in front with "PREPPER" vanity license plate. (Jury's still out if the "ISRAEL" plates minivan was also his.)
The Napa Valley will be blighted for some substantial number of decades to come by "tasteful" faux chateaux, "Tuscan" "estates", etc., but there will probably only ever be one darioush winery. http://lastingimpressionswineblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/darioush-winery.jpg
I just wish the Rosicrucians had these folks' budget. Also looks a bit like the Mormon temple in the Oakland hills, maybe. Except this is on the flat.
A regularly very rich guy can have a house with a 10,000 gallon shark tank, glass-bottomed rooftop pool, home disco, oversized novelty chess set, and hooker hamam.
What a wonderful world we live in.
I would say that being able to afford a $6 million house puts you beyond "regularly very rich" but that perhaps just shows how out of touch I am with achievable levels of richness.
Statistical Abstract, 2012, from IRS data, had 310,000 individuals with net worth of $5m or more, so top permille. If you assume the owner will have a mortgage or other debts, the number with net $1.5m+ is 2.2m people, or top 0.7%.
Statistical Abstract, 2012, from IRS data, had 310,000 individuals with net worth of $5m or more, so top permille
Sure, but who wants to be house-poor?
For a "regularly very rich guy" substitute "few dozen blog commenters pooling their resources." Come on, we can do this!
I wonder to what extent the purpose of having 5 swimming pools at your gigamansion is to be able to maintain a stockpile of water for after the aqueducts get cut during apocalypse.
Maybe if it comes with a water recycling system...
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Well, sounds like the helicopters are starting up again. Looking forward to another night of demonstrations and riots in my neighborhood. The first night, the cops were way too aggressive and hurt people. Last night, the cops were nowhere in sight, and people hurt stuff and other people. Maybe tonight they'll get the balance right. I'll be at home with the kids telling them they shouldn't be freaked out.
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Do you have several swimming pools in which to pass the time?
62: Wait, are you in Berkeley too, or is this same pattern repeating elsewhere?
Yeah, southside. Outside where the action is, but it came within a couple blocks.
A friend of mine was out in the protests both nights. Sounds like last night the cops' focus was on making sure the protestors couldn't get onto 24, and not much else. And Saturday night BPD decided to call out its friends from Oakland and Hayward and the CHP.
I was in Temescal on Saturday night - east of Telegraph, so several blocks from 24 - and saw a parked police car clearly from some other city. (Bore some four-word slogan ending in "the community", I think.)
I saw police cars surrounding part of my block in San Jose yesterday but it turned out there was a shooting near a bar, probably related to 49ers-Raiders fans feuding (according to witnesses).
TWYRCL has kindly handed me a brochure describing her dream house, which is presently available for $5.5 million. I don't think it possesses a hammam-dispensing hooker pool, but Connecticut can be a lively place sometimes.
If you can't get it for her she may have to find someone who can, you know.
What a wonderful world we live in.
A sweet romantic place.
...but Connecticut can be a lively place sometimes.
I had brunch in Stamford once. It seemed nice enough, but it was mostly just eggs and pancakes. This represents the entirety of my direct experience with the whole of New England.
So the guy flying the plane that crashed into the house in Maryland this morning? I worked for him for 3 years back in the early '00s. It was my first job in the CRO industry and the company had, oh, maybe 40 or 45 employees. Flew with him on his six-seater up to Connecticut and NYC a couple of times for business trips.
Those flights were probably the placebo flights without an actual house.
There's a house in (the nice part of) my neighborhood with the original ballroom in the basement. There's a basketball hoop up on each end now, but that's an easy fix, and at least they didn't destroy the floor. About $5 million, if I recall properly.
The apartment advertisements are bafflingly not-steampunk, and it's not as though the standards are high (warning: barbershop).
I've driven by a lot of missile silos, and they don't have that big a footprint. Tough to have one in a NYC apartment, though.
You just have to be a bit imaginative.
"Hey, you know that elevator that's been out of use since we moved in? I've found out what they're using the shaft for."
Looking at 40, the problems I see are the horrible view, the cheap fit-and-finish (nice international-style curtain glass wall, pity about the crappy ceiling that might be polystyrene tiles), and that "home disco ballroom" - too small and too cluttered for any actual dancing except one of those Pina Bausch performances with hundreds of stacked chairs, so what's it for?
79: I like the cut of ajay's jib. hey, have I ever told you all how amazingly wonderful it is NOT to be on a plane? to be somewhere other than a plane, if you catch my drift? not present aboard a 777, for example? that bullshit was 32 and 1/2 hours door-to-door, because narnia--seoul--SFO--dulles--takoma park md is a piss-poor route selection. going around the other way via frankfurt is better, though the jet stream makes the west coast to east coast flight notably shorter than when I went the other way over the summer. I should be grateful, truly, because I had three seats across on the 9 hr seoul--SF leg, so I was lying down as flat as anything and was having a better experience in coach with narnia airlines attentive, beautiful stewardesses; indian vegetarian food; and a bed, than business class travelers on delta. and although I left my jewelry case in one of the fucking bins of the security line at the SF domestic terminal, when I went back an hour later (having only then realized it) a friendly (?!) helpful woman in a TSA uniform (?!?) said, 'oh I'm so glad you're here, I was just about to log this in!' and then I ran back and boarded my maiden virgin america flight (quite nice!). and then I found the, whatever my jewelry was worth dollars (not all that much, it just would have sucked and lots were special gifts). because no one had stolen any! the whole point of carrying it on is so people won't steal it out of your checked luggage, durr hurr. my husband contends I should never take any anywhere but what's the point of jewelry if not to wear it? just like what's the point of having money if it's not to spend it on plane tickets to come back to america at the last minute? dag I got burnt on that. I do pay the extra to fly NQ, as narnia airlines is known, because it is way worth it. I'm going to ballmer today, to johns hopkins to see my mom in the ICU. she was conscious yesterday and lucid, bodes well. I'm afraid when I see her she'll see in my eyes how sad and feeble she looks, and I don't think I'll be able to conceal my dismay.
my maiden virgin america flight
Tautologous.
I hope everything goes well at Johns Hopkins. Don't worry about the whole expression-of-dismay thing; she already knows how she looks, and she knows how you'll feel about seeing her. The main thing is that you're there.
I'm glad you're off the planes, alameida. Fingers crossed.
